How to Please a Woman: A Real Gentleman’s Guide

how to please a woman
Jenna Hall
Written by Jenna Hall

I am still surprised when I overhear men giving advice to their friends about how to sexually please a woman. The outdated advice of writing the ABC’s with the tongue makes me cringe. Let’s be honest. Knowing how to please a woman is a skill that doesn’t just happen overnight.

If you want to learn how to please a woman, think of it like a marathon, not a sprint.

So what’s the secret? Well, it really boils down to an open mind sprinkled with a bit of sensitivity. Okay, maybe a lot of sensitivity.

Either way, if you are ready to learn how to make a girl satisfied sexually, then read on to discover some fantastic tips on how to please your woman in and out of the bedroom.

1. Court Her Like the Old Days

Let’s be honest, when it comes to your woman’s emotions a little old-fashioned courtship can go a long way. Remember those old cheesy romantic comedies where the man would sit outside their lover’s window with a guitar and a sappy ballad?

You see, when we are in the romantic early stages of a relationship, we are motivated to do all sorts of things to express our love and appreciation for our partner.

We say loving words. We shower them with gifts and acts of service. We can’t wait to see them again. We touch. A lot.

Wandering where the flame has gone? Checking on your relationship’s polarity may be a good place to start. That is to say when boredom creeps into a relationship your sex life suffers. My advice? Buy her flowers, leave her love-notes on the refrigerator.

Remember it’s the little things that can help rekindle the fire.

On the other hand, if you are in a new relationship build-up slowly. There is nothing like the rush of holding hands and adolescent-like french kisses to keep the anticipation hot and stimulating.

2. Practice Conscious Listening

Sexually pleasing your woman is important, and I promise, we will get to that later. Before lighting off the fireworks, however, it may be worthwhile to practice conscious listening. Conscious listening is a simple technique to deepen intimacy in any relationship and to improve the communication between you and your partner.

Here is a simple conscious listening practice you can try out with your partner:

  1. Start by sitting in front of each other, and breathing really deeply and slowly for a minute or two in order to make yourselves present into the moment.
  2. Then ask your female partner to begin scanning her body and ask what parts need attention.
  3. Once her body part has been chosen, begin to talk to that body part with love and affection.

Sound silly? It’s not. Moreover, I can almost guarantee this exercise will help deepen intimacy between you and your current female lover. That’s because dialogue between body parts can be a heartfelt way to make your female partner trust you.

And, at the end of the day, a safe environment is crucial to helping your woman reach new depths of pleasure.

3. Make Her Feel That She is Truly, “The One”

Along with courtship and conscious listening, there is that whole making her feel like she’s really the only one for you. One of the biggest turn-offs for a woman may be when their man is ogling at other women.

So, if you are hankering to get busy between the sheets with your woman, stop chauvinistic behavior.

That includes resisting to turn your head when a pretty girl walks by in revealing clothing. Or even worse, flirting with her friends. Okay, so I am not asking you to put your sexuality in a straight-jacket. If you want to please your woman sexually, however, try to focus your attention on her.

4. Taking it To The Bedroom: Play With Her Breasts

Remember when I said satisfying a woman is like a marathon, not a sprint? If you really want to sexually satisfy your woman, think with your heart, not with your manhood.  Ever heard of the nipple orgasm? For a woman, a nipple orgasm can produce a rousing orgasm when manipulated the right way.

To reach a nipple orgasm you can try the following exercise:

  1. Begin applying constant stimulation to the nipples.
  2. While stimulating the nipples, start to experiment with different types of touch and pressure.
  3. Sucking, flicking and using light-feather touch in and around the nipples are all a great way to get your woman seriously turned on.

Want more tricks? Check out: The Nipple Orgasm: The Hidden Pleasure hiding under her bra.

5. Learn To Eat Pussy Like A Don

Now that we know you won’t be spinning your tongue like a DJ booth when going down on your lady, let’s talk about how to eat pussy the right way.

Eating pussy good is probably one of the best ways to please your woman sexually.

So how do you do it? There are a few ways, but if you can nail down the following tips, you will be on your way to eating pussy like a master. The first secret to eating pussy like a pro is to find pleasure in giving her pleasure.

Stay attuned to your own stimulation while you are going down south on your female partner. Another secret to master the art form of eating pussy is to make sure she’s down to get down.

Meaning, make sure she feels comfortable with this type of oral sex.

Finally, when you all up in her juicy love pedals, focus on her clit, but not too much! Use a steady stroking rhythm with the flat part of your tongue. You can also try using big circle movements with your tongue to stimulate the whole area.  For more tips check out: What’s The Best Way To Eat Pussy

6. Experiment with New Sex Positions

Love eating pussy? Why not keep the fun going and be open to different sex positions.

While missionary can be fun, show your woman you are creative and playful.

Ever heard of Kamasutra? It’s an ancient Indian practice and is a great way to really spice up things up in the bedroom. Whether you are looking to challenge yourself to a new position or want to bring something new and exciting, the Kamasutra can help.

How about the Afternoon Delight Sex Position? This is just one of many scintillating and sexy positions you can introduce to your female partner to really take it up a notch in the bedroom.

You can also fool around with more traditional sex positions like doggy style, or go wild with the spiced up cowgirl.

Along with experimenting with new sex positions, you can also try changing up the environment.  Depending on your woman she may enjoy receiving you on the countertops, a picnic table, the dryer… the list goes on. Is it getting hot in here?

7. Learn To Last Longer So She Can Cum First!

There is nothing quite as defeating like blowing your load before your lady gets her rocks off. What a buzz kill! Premature ejaculation is actually very common. And while yes, it’s totally a drag, there are plenty of ways to work on holding off in bed.

Aside from making sure, there are no medical causes for your disorder, there are some simple methods that can help your willy stay firm during sex.

One of the best ways to help your manhood stay hard, is to take it slow.

That’s right, a big reason why men tend to explode into orgasm without being able to control it is quite simple: going too fast and too furious. The solution?

Start off with foreplay and focus on her pleasure instead of your own.

The second, even more common reason for uncontrolled ejaculation is when you fill up our pelvic area with sexual energy even without experiencing direct touch. A simple and surprisingly effective way to prevent this is to do some bonding activity with your female partner before sex.

It can be a practice as simple as a full body massage, maybe doing some yoga stretches if you’re both into it, or even just a calm bath.

Want more ideas on how to prevent premature ejaculation? Check out: Premature Ejaculation The Ultimate Mindful Guide (2018).

8. Fulfil Her Adult Fantasies

Have you asked your female lover about her unconscious or conscious fantasies lately? Does she hint at bringing things into the bedroom like whips or handcuffs? Perhaps she is craving a bit of BDSM. What’s that you say?

BDSM is an erotic combo of roleplaying that can include domination and submission, pain or sensation play, power exchange, leather sex, role-playing, and fetishes. If you have no idea where to start you can check out: BDSM for beginners. 

Along with roleplaying, you can also experiment with introducing some fun adult toys.

Classic dildos, vibrating bullets, and anal beads can all be a great way to get your freak on and make things a bit more interesting. If you want to take it even further, you can try the portable tongue vibrator.

At any rate, make sure you check in with your female to make sure the toys and/or fantasies are aligned with what she really wants. Whatever her fantasies are, toys and roleplaying can be a great way to expand your sexual menu.

It Doesn’t Take A Wizard To Keep Her Happy

If you were unsure of how to please a woman before reading this, I hope you now have some clarity. Yes, women are complex, but it doesn’t take a wizard to keep your woman’s pulse racing.

In the end, all it takes is a fine mixture of listening, some skillful petting, sprinkled in with a whole lot of sensitivity. Now that you have some simple ways to please your woman, go out and use them. Your goal is waiting.

About the author

Jenna Hall

Jenna Hall

Jenna discovered her passion for writing in 2005 when she started a sex and relationship column for her university newspaper. Shortly after she was recruited by Elle magazine to write as a Top Ten University Sex and Relationship Columnist for Ask E. Jean. She graduated from California State University, Dominguez Hills, became a yoga teacher in Lating America and now lives a simple but passionate life in Bolivia.