How to Eat Pussy – The Ultimate Beducated Guide

Written by Beducated Magazine

If you love pleasing a vulva, then you’ve probably wondered at one point or another what’s the best way to eat pussy and blow your partner’s mind with the best oral of her life.

It’s a great thing to be curious about, as so many folks out there are either too shy or too proud to look for advice on how to please a woman truly.

A little warning here, though: if you’ve come here looking for “the proper way” to eat pussy, expecting some failproof guide to give good head, you must know there isn’t a universal recipe to master this skill.

Make sure to check out Beducated's Cunnilingus Online Courses
lap dance What You Will Learn
  1. Ten techniques for giving great oral
  2. Why better communication is vital for having a good time
  3. How to develop giver and receiver mindsets to get in the mood
  4. How to practice great head using a spoon, orange, or peach

Language Disclaimer: Not everyone with a vulva identifies as “woman” or “female.” We want to address and include everyone with a vulva, even though our author sometimes uses words such as “woman” or “female” for the sake of better readability. 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈

Our Pussy Eating Tricks are Powerful… But You Also Have to Do the Work

The tips we’ll share with you here really work, but you must realize first that giving good oral sex, just like any other part of (excellent!) sex, is all about the connection between the two people involved.

Suppose you work at getting to know your partner better and making it easy for her to feel she’s got a safe space to relax and let go of pleasure whenever she has sex with you. In that case, you’ve already got 80% of the battle won, and you’re close enough to figure out the best way to eat pussy (meaning she’s going to think you’re the best lover she could dream of, oral sex or not).

Setting the ground for trust and communication with your partner (even if it’s just a one-night stand) is the single factor in deciding whether you can become a world-class expert at pussy eating.

So please read carefully and take notes because it will take some practice to get where you’re headed.

How to Eat Pussy: The 9 Essentials

1. Know Why You Want to Give Her Pleasure

If we are strictly honest, no lover on this planet is entirely unselfish. We all get something out of the pleasure we offer our partners. But you must understand that only one central motivation will make you great at oral sex.

Before all other things, you have to find pleasure in giving her pleasure.

That’s right. If the physical act of giving head is not working as a massive turn-on for you, then you’re not doing it right. If you’re doing it to take pride in the fact that you can give her incredible orgasms, or if you do it thinking about what you’ll get in return, it’s just not going to work.

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It’s not about an exchange, and it’s not about “locking down” a partner thanks to your mind-blowing skills for pussy eating. It’s doing it simply because you take physical and mental pleasure in losing yourself in the experience and taking part in the fantastic sensations you’re producing in her body.

The best way to read the signs in a woman’s body and know exactly what movements and pressure she needs from your tongue at each moment is to be so absorbed into the experience that you don’t lose a single detail of everything that’s happening.

2. Make Sure She’s in for It.

Women love when a man knows how to lick up their pussy the right way, just as much as men love to get a good blowjob. There’s one difference, though: women may not want to receive oral sex on every occasion (while most men will welcome the idea almost any time).

The reason for this is not that women want sex less, but simply that they have a more complex relationship with it, both for physical and cultural reasons.

For one part, the nerve endings that surround the clitoris and the whole vaginal area are much richer and also more diverse than the nerve endings from your penis. Also, since she has a broader sensorial capacity, she has a number of stimulation styles she can choose from, and of course, oral doesn’t have to be her first choice every time. Nevertheless, the article on 8 types of female orgasms might help you understand it better.

But for the other part, some women have never felt comfortable with the general aspect of their vulva and vagina since our society tends to put a lot of negative judgments around female sexuality.

You have to understand the relation of your partner to her body in general and her pussy in particular, so you can know how comfortable she feels about oral sex. She might need a loving and reassuring attitude on your part to trust that she can open up with you about that part of her body that makes her feel so insecure.

3. Pay Attention to Her Whole Body

While sometimes fast & furious is the way to go for certain parts of sex, a good session of eating pussy should always start like a delicate and progressive endeavor.

In other words, don’t go for the kill right away. Seduce her whole body first with feather-like caresses from your hands and lips. Show her how passionate you feel about the look, the odor, and the taste of every inch of her skin.

Remember that part about finding pleasure in the whole experience? Well, it starts right here. The more authentically devoted to her pleasure you seem, the sexier she’ll feel, the hotter she’ll get, and the more intense her orgasmic response will be (when you get to that point, of course, but let’s not get ahead of it!).

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4. Build Anticipation

Only when you can see she’s turned on, start to hint that you want to go down on her.

The more time you take to get to her pussy, once you start teasing with the idea of kissing her inner thighs, the more aware she’ll be of all the sensations that will start building up around her yoni (yoni is our word of choice to talk about pussies, by the way; it means “sacred gateway” in the old Sanskrit language, and we use it to convey the sense of wonder and devotion that we believe every man should have when it comes to treating a woman’s body).

Combine the touch of your fingers and your mouth to go around the little patches of skin that almost touch the side of her outer lips, and very slowly start to caress her yoni directly. Gentle kisses, and very gentle strokes with your fingers, combined with an occasional moan or heavy breathing, can bring her to the heightened state of excitement you’ll need from now on.

5. Use Your Tongue for More than Licking Pussy!

While moans are a great way to let your partner know how turned on you’re in your journey down to her legs, you can’t rely solely on them to keep communication open at all times.

A woman always appreciates honest compliments about her body. Of course, sometimes she’ll be into dirty talking, and sometimes she won’t, but you can always listen to her cues and sense the right words to let her know how awesome you’re feeling each moment.

Big hint: don’t say anything you don’t feel, and don’t force yourself to use a specific vocabulary or throw a line you heard in a movie. Be true to your style and your feelings; that will be more than enough.

6. Treat Her Clit with Respect

Clits are the most sensitive part of a woman’s body, and while they can receive a lot of pleasure, they also have to be handled carefully.

You want to build up the stimulation from a very subtle caress to a steady stroking rhythm.

Start with really slow movements of your tongue laid flat against her whole yoni, using big circles or long up and down movements to stimulate the entire area, and don’t overcharge her clit with too many sensations from the start.

Make sure to check out Beducated's Cunnilingus Online Courses
lap dance What You Will Learn
  1. Ten techniques for giving great oral
  2. Why better communication is vital for having a good time
  3. How to develop giver and receiver mindsets to get in the mood
  4. How to practice great head using a spoon, orange, or peach

How to be a good pussy licker

Only after you’ve spent a good time with this kind of broad and light licking can you slowly shift your attention towards the head of the clitoris and gradually increase the speed of your motion.

Remember that some women prefer to stay at an indirect stimulation of the clit, with your tongue moving only on top of her hood. In contrast, other women appreciate that you slowly move towards uncovering the head of the clitoris and applying direct pressure there with your tongue.

7. Find Your Move, Find Your Rhythm

You don’t have to limit yourself to the circular motion you started with. Combining a bit of sucking and side-to-side strokes is a great way to identify what kind of stimulation works best for what her clit needs right at that moment.

You should never decide to use the same movements or techniques all the time simply because it has worked for you in the past with an ex or even with your current partner!

The experience of each different woman is unique, but the experience of the same woman is also unique in itself each new time she shares a moment of mindful sex with you.

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This means you want to pay extra attention to her response at every slight variation you make with your tongue. Spend a little time with each different kind of motion, so you have time to notice if it’s bringing her the intense type of pleasure you’re aiming for or if it’s a good idea to keep on searching what’s the best way to eat your partner’s pussy.

And once you’ve found the combination of a sweet spot and the right angle of your mouth, make sure you stick to it.

If you feel you’re at the right place and position, all that’s left is to very slowly increase the pressure and the speed of your strokes until you reach the right point of intensity (you can ask for her feedback if you’re not sure), and stay there until the fireworks arrive.

Be patient and consistent with your tongue. It may be tiring the first time you dive deep into a good session of pussy eating, but we can guarantee you the skills you’ll get in return for the sore muscles will be worth it.

8. Listen to Her Reactions

Another way of treating her clit (and her whole body) the right way is to pay a lot of attention to how she reacts at every point down the road.

Right from the very start, if you’re unsure about the message her body is sending on receiving oral at that moment, you can try phrasing what you want to do and see if her reaction is positive.

Always keep in mind that you wanna be subtle, so instead of saying something like “I want to eat your pussy. That OK?” you can go for something more like inhaling deeply when you’re near her thighs and then saying out loud: “I can’t believe how good you smell. I wanna get you in my mouth so bad”.

what's the best way to eat pussy

If she trembles a little, gasps, or seems excited about the idea in any other way, you know you can go on. And if she pulls away or looks too serious, she’s probably not ready for it on that particular day, but hold her close and listen to anything she wants to share with you about it.

9. Don’t Forget You Have Hands, Too!

As you move further and further into higher states of pleasure for her, the intensity of your tongue strokes will increase, and it’s most likely that you’ll be focused so much on that movement that your hands will be resting at a fixed position.

But you can step up your game and use your hands to create even more bliss and sensations for her. You can go for feather-like caresses all over her body, play with her inner and outer lips, and even try internal stimulation by sliding one of your fingers inside her vagina.

Be mindful of this, and ask either with words or with your body language whether it’s OK for her that you use one finger inside her (always start with one finger, and then insert a second one once it’s clear that she’s enjoying and that she’s wet enough).

One excellent way to do this is by placing your finger at the very entrance of her vagina and seeing if her yoni instinctively tries to call the finger inside each time it’s contracted through breathing. But if that doesn’t happen, no worries, just let her know that you’d love to feel her from inside her as she approaches orgasm, and then you’ll know if your finger fits what she’s looking for.

Pussy Eating Techniques

Improve your oral sex skills with these excerpts from our Cunnilingus Online Course. If you want to check it out in its entirety, sign up for our free trial to get access to everything »

The Flick

  • Flick your tongue up and down or side to side
  • Tip: Check with them on what they like best and also on your intensity and speed

The Kivin Method

  • Have your partner lie on their back and position yourself on their side
  • Place your index and middle fingers top-down over their outer labia
  • Flick your tongue over the clitoral hood
  • Using your hand, press against their perineum

The Clit Swirl

  • Create the clit vacuum
  • Hold this and move your tongue around your partner’s clit in circles
  • Tip: Change directions to find out which way they prefer

The Buzz

  • Make a strong buzzing sound with your lips, vibrating all over the vagina
  • Tip: Keen in mind that this natural vibrator can be quite loud depending on your intensity level

Want more techniques? Check out our Cunnilingus Online Course for free »

What’s the Best Way to Eat Pussy? Forget Everything You’ve Just Read

While all of the tips we’ve shared in this article can help you share a world-rocking and mindful experience with your partner, you have to work your way to the perfect oral sex roadmap for you and your partner.

And it would be best if you considered that it wouldn’t be a fixed route but rather a collection of little insights and points of collaboration that will help you create an exciting and brand-new experience each time.

It’s fantastic that you’ve come in here looking for more resources on how to be a better lover, but it’s even better if you take these ideas as a starting point rather than making them your personal Oral Bible.

Remember: there is no magical list of pussy eating tricks that will make you the most desired man by women on the planet, but… if you make good use of our ten tips, your partner will be extremely happy that you’ve stumbled upon this page.

Make sure to check out Beducated's Cunnilingus Online Courses
lap dance What You Will Learn
  1. Ten techniques for giving great oral
  2. Why better communication is vital for having a good time
  3. How to develop giver and receiver mindsets to get in the mood
  4. How to practice great head using a spoon, orange, or peach

About the author

Beducated Magazine

Our diverse team of authors—including professionals, doctors, sex educators, therapists, and sex workers—strives to provide you with the ultimate resource for adult sex education. We cover a wide array of topics with a commitment to respect, empathy, and a judgment-free attitude. Join us as we help you enhance your understanding of the wonderful world of sexuality. Learn more about us and our editorial guidelines.