Pegging: A Guide to Pleasure and Safety

Like anal sex, pegging can be about dominance, submission, trust, love — all the feels! It flips traditional gender roles on their head. As for the pleasure it brings? Ouf, words cannot even begin to describe it (even if you’re a straight man).

But what is pegging, and how can you incorporate it into your sexual routine? Let’s explore!

What is Pegging?

In a nutshell, pegging is a sexual act in which the giver wears a strap on dildo to perform anal sex on the receiver.

But don’t let that straightforward explanation fool you; because pegging is way more than just another form of anal penetration.

What Does Pegging Feel Like?

Done right, pegging feels amazing. Physically speaking, it hits all the internal erogenous zones anal sex does.

For penis owners, anal penetration can stimulate the prostate gland, often referred to as the “P-spot,” leading to intense sexual pleasure and even explosive orgasms.

But it’s not just about the physical sensations. Similarly to anal sex, the receiver can control the depth and speed of penetration, allowing them to find what feels best for them, adding a layer of empowerment to the experience.

Switching it up with pegging can be a total game-changer in the bedroom for straight couples. For vulva owners—who typically fulfill a more ‘submissive’ role in straight relationships—it’s an electrifying chance to switch things up and take the reins.

But it’s not just about the physicality; there’s a sexy mind game at play too. Crafting that perfect, judgment-free zone where your lover feels free to bare it all and journey to new peaks of bliss is totally satisfying.

It’s all about that soul-deep connection, undiluted trust, and sharing in the joy of mutual ecstasy.

How To Talk To Your Partner About Pegging

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any sexual relationship. But when it comes to dipping your toes (or anything else) into new titillating territories like pegging or anal sex, it’s downright essential.

Ready to turn talk into action? Here’s your road map to a successful conversation:

1. The right time and place: This conversation should happen in a neutral and comfortable setting, not in the heat of the moment during sexual activity.
2. Be honest: Start by expressing your interest in pegging and why you want to try it. Be honest about your desires and expectations.
3. Listen: Give your partner the opportunity to express their feelings, concerns, and questions.
4. Educate yourselves: Share resources, like articles or educational videos, that can help both of you understand what pegging involves and how to do it safely and enjoyably.
5. Reassure them: Reassure your partner that wanting to try pegging doesn’t change the way you feel about them or your relationship. It’s just another way to explore sexual pleasure together.

Pegging might be having its moment in the spotlight, but if it’s not your jam, that’s totally okay. No one should ever feel obliged to try something in the bedroom they’re not comfortable with.

How to Prep

Are you ready to dip your toes into the titillating world of pegging for the first time? It’s all about prep, prep, and a little more prep.

Just like with anal sex, lube is your new best friend—choose a good quality one to ensure a smooth ride. And let’s not forget the power of foreplay—it’s an essential pre-game ritual to get you relaxed and in the mood.

Start by picking the perfect toy that suits your comfort and experience level. Size does matter here, and when you’re a beginner, it’s ‘go slow and low’ all the way.

The most important part of the prep is hygiene! It’s super crucial when you’re venturing into the world of pegging. First and foremost, make sure your chosen toy is squeaky clean before and after each use, using a sex toy cleaner or mild soap and water. Some may even suggest an enema for the receiving partner before the act. But that’s not mandatory, just a personal preference.

A shower before the deed can also work wonders in helping both of you feel clean and fresh. Cleanliness isn’t just good manners in this game; it’s also a catalyst for unleashing uninhibited pleasure.

Most importantly, breathe, communicate with your partner, and take it at your own pace. Remember, the first time is about exploring, not conquering, so leave any performance pressure at the door.

What You’ll Need For Pegging

Lube

When it comes to pegging and anal sex, lubrication is non-negotiable. It helps to reduce friction, ensure comfort, and bring on more sexual pleasure during the act. There are different types of lube suitable for pegging, including water-based and oil-based lubes.

Water-based lubes are easy to clean up and safe to use with most toys. On the other hand, oil-based lubes tend to last longer and provide a smoother feel. However, it’s important to note that oil-based lubes can degrade latex condoms and certain types of toys.

Check out Beducated’s guide to finding the best anal lube here.

Strap On Dildo

When it comes to strap on dildos, size and material matter—especially if you’re a beginner.

Skip dildos that are either too small or comically large. A too-small dildo might not provide the desired stimulation and could fall out frequently, while a too-large one could cause discomfort or injury.

As for the material, go for more solid materials like plastic, steel, or glass (Pyrex), especially for stimulating the prostate. These materials provide firm pressure, which can be more pleasurable. Silicone-based products are also great, but they should have a bit more give.

Need a little more inspo to find the right strap on dildo? Read our guide to finding the perfect eco-friendly dildo that will bring you out-of-this-world pleasure and make the planet a little greener.

Harness

You can’t use a dildo in pegging if you don’t have anything to strap it in place. I mean, you’ll need to strap on the dildo to your body somehow! So as you can imagine, a harness is fundamental to the whole act of pegging. Without it, you’re just… penetrating.

Harnesses can be adjustable to fit different body types and sizes. It allows the person doing the pegging to control the strap on dildo and provides stability during the act. There are different types of harnesses available, and the right one for you depends on your comfort and preference.

The most important factor when choosing a harness is to find one that is comfortable and secure. It should not chafe or cause discomfort to the wearer. Trying on the harness before use can ensure it fits correctly and comfortably.

Beginners Guide to Pegging

#1 Set Up Your Space

The first thing you should do is set up a clean, safe, and comfortable space. Hygiene is of utmost importance here, so take all necessary measures to ensure a squeaky-clean area to have fun in.

Consider using a latex condom on your toys; it won’t just make cleanup easier but also does wonders in preventing the spread of STIs. Honestly, be prepared for the possibility of encountering fecal matter. When it comes to anal play, it’s just bound to happen. So take a deep breath and remember it’s normal. We all do it!

Consider using gloves to avoid contact if that makes you feel better. It’s definitely more hygienic.

#2 Prepare Your Tools

Now that your space is clean and sensual, it’s time to prepare all your tools and gadgets. Make sure your harness is comfortable and secure.

Remember, we’re looking for one that won’t chafe and offers good stability. Prepare your strap on dildos so that they’re ready to go, and double-check that you’ve disinfected them.

Furthermore, place your lube of choice in a spot where it’s easy to grab in the heat of the moment. Speaking of things you should keep close, you’ll want to keep some cleaning rags and towels and arm’s length for easy cleaning on the go.

If you’re using gloves, have your box around in case you need a new pair at some point.

#3 Anal Foreplay

Hold off on putting on that shiny new strap on of yours. Because when it comes to any sex, you should never skip anal play.

Anal sex can be great, but it takes some warming up and oral or manual stimulation to get there. So grab some lube and get ready to take things slow.

Talk to your partner about the type of anal play you should go ahead with. Start with your finger, or why not try an anal massage?

Whatever you do, make sure you don’t skip anal play to go straight to penetration.

#4 Start Slow

Ensure your strap on is nice and secure, and you’re ready to begin penetration. Start with a face-up position. This allows for better communication and makes it easier for the giver to pick up on non-verbal reactions.

With all anal penetration, you don’t go all in with intense thrusts; instead, take it nice and slow.

You can gradually increase pressure and intensity as you progress in the session. However, only do this if both the giver and the receiver are happy to move up.

During penetration, the giver should check in with the receiver to make sure they are comfortable and enjoying the experience. The receiver should give active feedback on the experience.

Sex should not be painful, so if the receiver starts feeling pain, stop the session.

#5 Aftercare

Congratulations, you made it to the end! Now it’s time for the most important part of pegging: the aftercare.

Use this time to clean up after the act using a rag or wet towel. Clean and disinfect your toys and store them properly, and discard any used latex condoms and gloves.

Most importantly, take this time to reflect on the experience and discuss what it was like with your partner(s). This is a great way to keep communication open and create more pleasurable experiences down the line. Especially if it’s your or your partner’s first time experiencing anal penetration, aftercare is really important.

Hey, a little pillow talk never hurt anyone!

Spice Things Up

Teasing

Teasing can be a powerful tool in pegging. Start with gentle touches around the anus, using fingers or a small toy.

Gradually increase the intensity of your touches, but don’t rush into penetration. The anticipation can heighten the pleasure when you do start pegging.

Changing Rhythm

Once you and your partner are comfortable with pegging, you can start to experiment with changing the rhythm of your movements. Try varying the speed and depth of your thrusts.

Some people enjoy slow, deep thrusts, while others prefer faster, shallower movements. Pay attention to your partner’s reactions to find out what they enjoy the most.

Double Penetration

For those who are comfortable with pegging and want to try something new, consider double penetration. This involves using a dildo or butt plug in the anus while penetrating the vagina at the same time.

This can provide intense pleasure, but it’s important to ensure that both partners are comfortable and consenting.

Prostate Massage

For penis owners, prostate massage can be a pleasurable addition to pegging. You can reach the prostate through the anus and massage with a finger or toy.

Prostate massage can lead to intense orgasms and is a skill that can be developed with practice.

Role Play

Pegging can be incorporated into role-play scenarios. This can add an extra layer of excitement and fun to the act. As always, ensure that all role-play scenarios are discussed and agreed upon by both partners beforehand.

Positions

There are many different positions you can try in pegging, from doggy style to missionary. Each position offers different angles and sensations. Experiment to find out what works best for you and your partner.

Remember, the key to a successful and enjoyable pegging experience is communication. Always check in with your partner, respect their boundaries, and make sure they’re comfortable. With patience and practice, pegging can be a fun and pleasurable addition to your sexual repertoire.

FAQs

Is Pegging Painful? 

It can be uncomfortable if not done correctly. It’s important to use plenty of lube and start slowly. Communication between partners is key to ensuring comfort and pleasure.

Is Pegging Gay? 

One super common question we get about pegging is, “Will pegging make me gay?” The answer is a resounding no!

Your sexcapades don’t put a label on your sexuality. Pegging is an exciting intimate activity that anyone—regardless of their sexual orientation—can join. It’s not about who you’re attracted to; it’s about what brings you pleasure.

Never let stereotypes stand in the way of a fulfilling sex life. If you want to try pegging, then go ahead and try it! All that matters is that you have a consenting partner and follow measures to ensure safety and hygiene.

How Common is Pegging?

At the time of writing, there aren’t many reliable statistics on how common pegging is. That being said, the sexual act has enjoyed a couple of mentions in pop culture in the past decade—most notably in the film Deadpool, with a scene in which the main character is on the receiving end of the deed.

You also had Cara Delevingne famously sport the phrase ‘peg the patriarchy’ on her white outfit at the 2021 met gala. A phrase which—by the way—was coined by the sex educator Luna Matatas way before Delevingne dunned it on her shocking outfit.

Watch a Live Demonstration of Pegging

For all you visual learners out there—check out our live demonstration of pegging from a real couple with detailed instructions and super helpful information from sex educator Lola Jean!

Start a free trial with Beducated today to check out the full Pegging Course.