How Sex Coaching Works & Why It Could Help You

If you’ve ever felt like your sex life is hitting a snag — fizzling libido, a rough time getting to the big O, or a dry spell with your partner(s) that just.won’t.end — you’re not alone. It’s the kind of stuff that can leave you feeling lost.

Where do you even begin to address issues like these? One option would be to start working out your concerns with a professional, like a sex coach. But what is sex coaching, and can a sex coach really help you? We break it down for you.

What Is a Sex Coach?

A sex coach is what you get when you blend the science of sexology with the personalized, practical guidance of a life coach to help you achieve a fulfilling sex life. “Think of us as co-pilots for your intimate life,” certified sex coach Julia Svirid explained. “We help you overcome issues with sex, intimacy, and relationships with an actionable plan.” Oh, and by the way, a sex coach is not the same as a sex therapist. More details on that below.

Dr. Patti Britton pioneered the profession in the early 1990s as a new way to help folks navigate sexual concerns. According to SexCoachU – a sex coach education platform co-founded by Britton – people’s only option until then was to go to a clinical sexologist. That meant that sexual concerns were pathologized and seen in an exclusively medical paradigm. Britton’s solution was to “[blend] life coaching and clinical sexology to create sex coaching.” 

What Happens at a Sex Coaching Session?

Stepping into the world of sex coaching might feel like navigating new waters, but having a clear map of what lies ahead can make the journey less daunting. The experience varies widely from one coach to another, yet most navigate through these explorations with conversations at their core.

Take Svirid’s approach, for example. She begins by sitting down with her clients to pinpoint what they hope to achieve. “Sex coaching is goal-oriented,” she explains. Together, they craft a tailored action plan that acts not just as a checklist but as a shared vision for their journey. This plan isn’t static; it’s a living document, guiding the sessions and tracking the milestones along the way.

Svirid’s sessions break the mold of traditional therapy or counseling by injecting a dose of practicality. “Many times, I’ll find that clients lack education in certain areas of sexual wellness, so I’ll take the time to fill the gaps,” she explained. Don’t worry — her sessions aren’t the equivalent of a stuffy classroom learning about anatomy. “I’ll send them home with homework, sure, but it’s all practical tips.” 

Hands-On Guidance, Just For You

One of the standout benefits of sex coaching is its customization. Unlike scrolling through generic advice online or flipping through pages of a self-help book, sex coaching gives you strategies that cater specifically to your situation.

Support and Accountability

A sex coach is more than an advisor; they’re your ally. Beyond the strategies and insights, they offer encouragement and a nudge when needed, helping you stay aligned with your objectives.

A Safe Space to Open Up

Arguably, one of the most significant elements of sex coaching is the assurance of confidentiality and a non-judgmental environment. It’s a place where you can be open about intimate matters, secure in the knowledge that your thoughts and feelings are both respected and crucial to your journey of exploration and growth. This kind of setting is indispensable, fostering the trust and openness necessary for real change.

What is the Difference Between Sex Therapy and Sex Coaching?

It’s easy to get sex coaches and sex therapists mixed up since they both operate in the sphere of intimacy and sexual wellness. However, the distinction between the two is significant, starting with their foundational roles: sex therapists are certified mental health professionals specializing in intimacy issues.

Svirid pointed out that sex coaches and sex therapists serve unique purposes. “Sex coaches can’t help you address sexual trauma or process past feelings,” she clarifies. Those deeper, more complex emotional issues are the domain of a sex therapist.

What Do Sex Therapists Do?

Sex therapy is grounded in the expertise of clinical psychologists or physicians, leveraging psychotherapeutic and medical techniques to tackle sexual problems. This background equips sex therapists to handle the intricacies of mental health issues, including trauma, providing a specialized approach to those facing such challenges.

Once you’ve done the hard work of processing trauma with a sex therapist, Svirid explains, sex coaches are there to help you build from that point. Unlike sex therapy, sex coaches focus on the here and now, aiming to make real-time improvements in your sexual life. It’s all about taking real, tangible steps to boost intimacy and pleasure and start enjoying sex (again).

Is Sex Coaching for Me?

In January 2024, we asked ~2000 people how they felt about their sex lives. To our shock, 60% said they weren’t satisfied. This stark number highlights a common undercurrent of discontent in our intimate lives. But while it’s clear that many of us could use a little boost, the solution isn’t one-size-fits-all. Enter the question: should you see a sex coach?

Here’s a closer look at what sex coaching can help with:

• Navigating Anorgasmia: Finding it tough to orgasm? A sex coach can explore strategies with you to overcome this.
• Reigniting Passion: Coaching can introduce new excitement if your long-term relationship needs a fresh spark
• Mismatched Libidos: Sex coaches often work with couples who struggle with differing sexual desires.
• Ejaculation Concerns: Whether it’s happening too soon, too late, or not at all, there are ways to address it.
• Overcoming Shame: Sexual guilt or shame can deeply affect your sex life. Coaching offers a path to reclaiming your sexual confidence.
• Exploring Desires: Safe, judgment-free coaching can help you understand and communicate your desires more clearly.

Deciding if sex coaching is for you comes down to what you’re hoping to change or achieve in your sex life. If it’s healing from past traumas you’re after, then a certified therapist is your best bet. 

But if you’re ready to tackle specific issues head-on, improve your experiences, or simply seek advice on making your sex life all it can be, sex coaching offers a direct, empowering approach. 

What You Should Know Before Working with a Sex Coach

Thinking about working with a sex coach can feel like a big step towards a better sex life. It’s a move that promises a lot but also asks for your openness, effort, and clarity about what you want to achieve. Here’s a primer to get you started on the right foot.

• Be Open, Be Honest: Success in sex coaching leans heavily on how open you can be. It’s about sharing the intimate parts of your sex life – including your deepest sexual desires – so finding a coach who offers a safe and judgment-free space is key. The more upfront you are, the better they can tailor their advice and strategies to suit you.
• The Real Work Happens Outside: Your time with a sex coach is valuable, but the real magic happens in your life between sessions. Be ready to shift perspectives, try new things, and question some long-standing beliefs. It’s a commitment, but one that pays off.
• Know Your Goals: Before diving in, really think about what you’re hoping to get out of sex coaching. Is it about gaining confidence, spicing things up, exploring your identity, or overcoming a specific challenge? Having a clear direction helps make your time with a coach more effective.
• Choose Someone You Click With: Finding the right sex coach is a bit like dating — you need someone who gets you, respects you, and has the expertise to guide you. They should be someone you’re comfortable getting real with, as you’ll be sharing some very personal stuff.
• Budget for Your Journey: Keep in mind that sex coaching is an investment in yourself and, like most personal investments, it’s not cheap. It’s also unlikely to be covered by insurance. Think about what you’re able to spend and whether you’d prefer meeting in person or going virtual.

Alternative to Sex Coaching

Curious about sex coaching but not quite sold? Beducated could be just what you’re looking for. With over 100 courses ranging from solo pleasures to the realms of kink, we’ve built the largest digital sex education resource for adults. 

We’ve teamed up with the globe’s sexpert elite to craft content that’s reliable and ridiculously easy to dive into. Oh, and did we mention you can use it in the comfort of your own bedroom?

With Beducated, you get to:

• Master new techniques – develop skills to become a better giver and an active receiver.
• Reignite the spark – explore new ways to spice things up (with or without a partner).
• Enjoy sex more – build confidence and give in to new depths of pleasure.

Learn more at beducated.com.