How to Have Kinky Sex: 40 Kinky Date Night Ideas

Ever felt that your romantic escapades could use a little extra spice? Enter the world of kinky sex—a realm where fantasies come alive, boundaries are pushed, and intimacy reaches new heights. Kink isn’t just about leather and whips; it’s about exploring desires and adding variety, especially for those in long-term relationships.

It’s a journey of discovery, where consent and safety are the compass guiding you. Ready to dive in? Let’s unwrap some tantalizing kinky ideas to elevate your sex life with kinky sex.

1. Spank Them

Ah, the allure of a gentle smack! Erotic spanking is more than just a slap on the behind—it’s a dance of sensations, a blend of pleasure and pain, and for many, a delightful introduction to the world of kinky sex.

But beyond the physical, spanking can also be a gateway to power play, allowing partners to explore dominant and submissive roles. Remember, while your hand is a great starting point, there’s a world of paddles out there, each offering a unique experience.

2. Make a Sex Menu

A sex menu is a curated list of sexual fantasies, each one waiting to be explored. It’s a playful way to communicate desires. Whether it’s some new kinky sex positions, a fantasy role-play, or a toy you’ve been eager to try, jot it down.

Present this menu to your partner and let them pick their pleasure for the night. It’s not just about finding new kinky sex ideas; it’s about communication, understanding each other’s desires, and making every night a gourmet experience in the bedroom.

3. Dab in Sensory Deprivation

Dive deep into the world of sensory deprivation, where less truly is more. By reducing or completely blocking out one or more senses, you open the doors to heightened awareness in others.

It’s a tantalizing game of anticipation, where every touch, every whisper becomes magnified. A classic way to embark on this journey? Blindfolds. With vision out of the equation, every sensation is amplified, making for an intensely erotic experience.

4. Do it in Front of a Mirror

Doing the deed in front of a mirror isn’t just about vanity—it’s about connection. Seeing your partner’s reactions, the subtle changes in their expressions, and the way they move can be incredibly arousing.

Plus, it’s a gentle nudge into the world of exhibitionism without the audience. So, next time you’re feeling adventurous, position that mirror just right and let the reflections amplify the heat.

5. Talk Dirty

Ever thought words could be your secret weapon in the bedroom? Dirty talk is a favorite kinky sex idea for many, and for good reason, too.

The beauty of dirty talk is that it bridges the mind and body, making every touch and every kiss more electrifying. Sure, it might feel a tad awkward at first, but that’s okay! Because once you get the hang of it, you’ll realize it’s a game-changer.

6. Tie Them Up

Bondage and fantasies often go hand in hand. In the Beducated Survey from June 2023, a whopping 35% of the 590 respondents expressed their desire to dabble in bondage. But what’s the allure?

Bondage is all about the tantalizing play of control and surrender. It’s a dance of trust, where one lets go, and the other takes charge. If you’re a newbie, start simple. Maybe a silk scarf or a soft rope to tie your partner to the bedposts. For those seeking a deeper dive, there’s the intricate world of Shibari, a form of Japanese rope bondage. However, mastering such techniques requires time, patience, and education.

7. Masturbate Together

Mutual masturbation — it’s intimate, revealing, and oh-so-hot! Think of it as a window into your partner’s world of pleasure. You’ll discover their sweet spots and witness the raw, unfiltered expressions of their ecstasy. We don’t typically play favorites with our kinky sex ideas, but this one is definitely a must-try for everyone!

And let’s be honest, there’s something incredibly arousing about watching your partner lose themselves in pleasure.

8. Watch Porn Together

Dim the lights, snuggle up, and press play. Watching porn videos together isn’t just about getting steamy under the sheets; it’s also about discovery and inspiration. But here’s a pro tip: opt for ethical porn. These sites prioritize consent, representation, and real pleasure. And if kinky sex is on your mind, there are loads of kinky porn that’s both educational and arousing.

But why stop at just porn? For couples keen on blending pleasure with learning, eduporn is the way to go. And guess what? Beducated boasts an extensive library of eduporn courses, perfect for couples eager to learn while they, well, learn. 😉

9. Get Icey

Sensory experiences are the unsung heroes of the kinky sex world. They add layers of pleasure, teasing our senses in the most delightful ways. Ever thought of introducing a chilly twist to your intimate moments?

Start with something as simple as an ice cube during oral play, especially cunnilingus. The contrast of cold and warmth can be electrifying, taking pleasure to a whole new level. A surefire way to transform vanilla sex into kinky sex!

10. … or Hot

On the flip side of the sensory spectrum lies the allure of heat. It’s passionate, intense, and oh-so-inviting. Begin your heated journey with warm lube or massage oil during foreplay. The sensation of warmth gliding over the skin can be incredibly arousing.

But if you’re looking to truly turn up the heat, consider hot wax play. However, a word of caution: hot wax play isn’t for the faint-hearted. It requires research, understanding, and the utmost care.

11. Try Role Play

Step into a world of make-believe with role play — probably the most classic of all kinky sex ideas — where fantasies come alive. It’s all about donning different personas, exploring power dynamics, and diving into various scenarios.

The benefits? It’s a refreshing escape from the mundane, a way to breathe life into hidden desires, and a path to deeper trust and understanding with your partner. From the classic ‘doctor-nurse’ to the more intricate ‘vampire-victim,’ the possibilities are endless.

12. Have Some Strap-On Fun

Venturing into the world of strap-ons? It’s not just a kinky version of anal sex; it’s about the experience. Strap-ons open doors to a plethora of pleasures, some of which you might not have even imagined. Here’s why you might want to consider strapping it on:

• Exploration of New Pleasures: Dive into uncharted territories of pleasure. With a strap-on, you might discover orgasms you never knew existed.
• Versatility: Whether it’s vaginal, anal, or even oral, strap-ons are versatile tools for varied experiences.
• Role Reversal: Ever wanted to switch roles in the bedroom? Here’s your chance. Strap-ons allow for a playful power dynamic shift.
• Prostate Play: For those with penises, strap-ons can be a gateway to the elusive “P-spot” orgasm. Trust us; it’s worth exploring.
• Empowerment: Wielding a strap-on can be a powerful experience, offering a sense of control and dominance that can be incredibly arousing.

13. Power Play — Dominance and Submission

The dance of dominance and submission is a tantalizing tango of power dynamics. It’s about control, surrender, trust, and pleasure. Imagine dictating the pace, the intensity, or being at the mercy of your partner’s desires.

From simple acts like blindfolding to more intricate scenarios involving restraints, the spectrum is vast. But remember, like all things kinky sex, consent is paramount. Set boundaries, establish safe words, and ensure both parties are comfortable before diving in.

14. Delay Orgasms With Edging

Imagine being on the cusp of an explosive orgasm, only to be pulled back from the brink. Sounds frustrating? Well, that’s edging for you. But trust us — when it comes to kinky sex, the wait is worth it. Edging, or the art of teasing oneself to the edge of climax and then stopping, offers a range of benefits:

• You Could Experience Deeper Orgasms: The buildup from edging can lead to earth-shattering climaxes.
• You’ll Gain Greater Sexual Control: Understand your body’s responses better, leading to prolonged pleasure sessions.
• It’s a Chance to Connect With Your Partner: Edging requires patience and communication, fostering deeper intimacy.

15. Try Orgasm Denial

A close cousin to edging, orgasm denial is all about the tease but with a twist. While edging is about delaying pleasure, orgasm denial is about withholding it altogether.

It’s a kinky sex game of power, where one partner “forbids” the other from reaching climax. The buildup, the anticipation, the sheer frustration—it’s a rollercoaster of emotions and sensations.

16. Indulge in Praise Kink

Ever heard of the term “Praise Kink”? If not, you’re in for a treat. Praise kink is all about deriving pleasure from being complimented or praised during intimate moments.

For some, hearing affirmations like “You’re so good for me” or “You look so hot right now” can send shivers down their spine. It’s one of our gentlest kinky sex ideas, perfect for those who thrive on positive reinforcement. Dive deeper into the world of praise kink here.

17. Discipline and Punish Them

Rules, discipline, and a dash of punishment can add a spicy twist to your kinky sex adventures. Imagine setting a rule where your partner isn’t allowed to moan during oral. The anticipation, the challenge, the playful power dynamics—it’s all part of the game.

And if they break the rules? Well, that’s where the fun begins. Whether it’s a light spanking or a tantalizing session of orgasm denial, the “punishment” becomes a reward in itself. But always remember, consent is key.

18. Become Their Servant

Ready to serve and be served? In the realm of kinky sex ideas, being a “servant” means catering to your partner’s desires, fulfilling their requests, and immersing yourself in the role of a devoted lover.

It could be as simple as obeying a command to strip down, or as intense as performing a specific act for a set duration. The thrill lies in the surrender, the trust, and the mutual pleasure derived from the act.

19. Experiment With Sensations

Sex is a symphony of sensations, and there’s so much more to explore than just touch. Imagine the soft tickle of feathers gliding over your skin or the unique textures of toys designed to tantalize. From silky to rough, cold to warm, the possibilities are endless.

Introducing varied sensations can elevate kinky sex, making them more memorable and intense. So, why not get experimental and see what sensations resonate with you?

20. Spend the Day Naked — But Don’t Touch!

Sounds torturous, right? But trust us, it’s a game-changer. Spending an entire day in the nude with a strict “no touch” rule, can be incredibly arousing. We’ll be honest, though — it’s probably one of the hardest of our kinky sex ideas!

The visual tease, the palpable tension, and the anticipation of what’s to come can make the eventual intimacy even more explosive. You can add a layer by having the dominant partner be the untouchable tease while the submissive partner waits eagerly for permission.

21. Make a Home Movie

Lights, camera, action! Ever thought of starring in your own steamy movie? Recording your kinky sex adventures can be an exhilarating way to add some zest to your sex life.

Before hitting that record button, have a candid chat with your partner. Trust is paramount here. And remember, once it’s recorded, it’s out there. So, be cautious, be safe, and only share with those you trust implicitly.

22. Mix Pleasure and Pain

The dance between pleasure and pain can be a tantalizing tango. When done right, a little pain can amplify pleasure, creating a cocktail of sensations that’s hard to resist. From light spanking to the gentle tug of a hair pull, there are myriad ways to explore this dynamic.

23. Do it With a Stranger (Your Partner!)

Fantasies about strangers aren’t uncommon. But who says you need an actual stranger to live it out? With a sprinkle of imagination and a dash of role-play, your partner can become that mysterious stranger you’ve always fantasized about.

Picture this: meeting at a bar, exchanging flirty glances, and letting the night unfold as if you’ve just met. It’s a refreshing way to reignite the spark, especially in long-term relationships. Plus, it’s safe, consensual, and oh-so-fun!

24. Sext Throughout the Day

In today’s digital age, why not use technology to your advantage? Sexting is the art of sending steamy messages, teasing, and tantalizing your partner throughout the day. It’s like foreplay that lasts hours! Share your fantasies, describe what you’d like to do later, or simply remind them how much they turn you on.

And if you’re feeling extra adventurous and trust each other completely, spice things up with a sultry photo. However, only share what you’re comfortable with, and ensure your partner does the same.

25. Explore Group Sex

Group sex is a fantasy that many secretly harbor. In fact, according to the June 2023 Beducated Customer Survey, it topped the list with 37% wanting to give it a whirl.

The allure of multiple partners, the heightened sensations, and the sheer thrill of it make group sex one of the most classic of kinky sex ideas. Discuss boundaries, set rules, and ensure all parties are on the same page. And when it comes to choosing that third (or fourth) partner, trust and mutual respect are paramount.

26. Read Erotic Stories

Ever thought of diving into the world of erotic literature with your partner? It’s like watching porn, but instead of visuals, you let your imagination run wild, painting vivid pictures of every sultry scene.

Reading erotic stories together can be a tantalizing experience, allowing both of you to explore fantasies, desires, and discover new kinky sex ideas. The beauty of it? It’s a shared experience, one that can lead to open conversations about desires and boundaries. Plus, it’s a fantastic way to build anticipation for the night ahead.

27. Make Your Body a Feast

Remember that iconic scene from Sex And The City where Samantha turns herself into a sushi platter for Smith? Well, she was onto something! Food and intimacy have always shared a delicious relationship.

From the sensual act of feeding each other to using whipped cream in playful ways, there’s a smorgasbord of possibilities.

28. Make Things Rough

For those who crave intensity, rough sex might be the answer. It’s a dance of dominance and submission, where every bite, spank, or hair pull amplifies the pleasure.

Set boundaries, decide on a safe word, and always prioritize consent. When done right, rough sex can be an exhilarating journey to the edges of pleasure and pain.

29. Put on a Sexy Show

Channel your inner burlesque star and treat your partner to a sultry striptease. Not only is it a fantastic way to boost your confidence, but it’s also a surefire way to get both of you in the mood.

Start slow, choose a song that makes you feel sexy, and let the rhythm guide you. If you’re new to this, remember it’s not about perfect moves but the tease, the anticipation, and the connection.

30. Watch Them Touch Themselves

There’s something incredibly powerful about watching your partner discover their own pleasure. It’s a front-row seat to their most vulnerable and passionate moments.

31. Play With Sex Toys

Dive into the world of sex toys and elevate your intimate moments to a whole new level of kink. Whether you’re a newbie or a seasoned pro, there’s always a toy out there waiting to be explored. The benefits? Oh, where to start!

Firstly, you can stimulate multiple erogenous zones — for example, by using a clitoral vibrator during penetrative sex. Nipple clips, anyone? They’re the perfect blend of sweet pleasure and tantalizing pain.

32. Experiment With Unconventional Tools

Who said kink needs to be expensive? Sometimes, the most thrilling sensations come from the most unexpected places. Think wooden spoons for a playful spanking or silky sleeping masks as a sensual blindfold.

33. Try Body Bondage

No ropes? No problem! Body bondage is all about using what you’ve got — your body. It’s the art of using your limbs, weight, and playing with kinky sex positions to restrain and tantalize your partner. And no, it doesn’t mean overpowering them. It’s about creativity, connection, and mutual pleasure.

For those eager to dive deeper, check out the ‘Body Bondage’ course by Lola Jean on Beducated.

34. Indulge in Face Sitting

Let’s get one thing straight — face sitting isn’t just a treat for vulva owners. It’s a versatile act that can be enjoyed by all, be it for cunnilingus, blowjobs, or even rimming.

The unique angle offers sensations that other kinky sex ideas might miss. Plus, for those who enjoy a dash of dominance in their play, face sitting lets the receiver take the reins.

35. Explore Fisting

Fisting might sound intense, and well, it is. But it’s also an act of trust, intimacy, and exploration. Whether you’re curious about vaginal or anal fisting, the journey can lead to discovering new pleasure zones and deepening your connection with your partner.

However, it’s essential to approach fisting with patience, plenty of lube, and an open line of communication. Safety and consent should always be at the forefront.

36. Choking

Choking has long been a staple in the kink scene, and it’s not hard to see why. It’s that thrilling dance between pleasure and pain, a tantalizing taste of power play. At its core, choking involves applying pressure to the neck with your hands during those heated moments. The sensation can be electrifying, offering an adrenaline rush that’s hard to match. But it’s not just about the physical; the trust and intimacy required to engage in such a risky act can deepen the bond between partners.

However, a word of caution: Choking is not without its risks. It’s essential to educate yourself thoroughly and ensure you’re practicing it safely. And remember, consent is paramount. Both partners should be on board and comfortable with the act.

37. Give a Bossy Massage

Ever heard of the Bossy Massage? It’s a sensual delight that merges the world of tantric kink with the art of massage. Imagine one partner taking charge, instructing the other on how to breathe, moan, and move. The giver taps into their dominant side, guiding the entire experience, while the receiver is encouraged to be present and receptive. Beyond the thrill of dominance and submission, it’s a lesson in assertive communication, teaching partners to voice their desires confidently.

38. Explore a Daddy Fantasy

“Daddy kink” might raise a few eyebrows, but in the BDSM community, it’s a well-understood power dynamic. It’s not about actual fathers but rather a nurturing dominant role (“Daddy”) and a more submissive, youthful role (“little”). Here’s the scoop:

• This role-play is strictly for consenting adults. No real or underage participants are involved.
• Anyone can play any role, regardless of gender or orientation.
• The “Daddy” is nurturing yet dominant, while the “little” embodies a more submissive, youthful energy.
• Despite the name, this kink isn’t about actual fathers or incestuous desires.

39. Pull Their Hair

Hair pulling is a simple yet electrifying way to dip your toes into the world of kink. It’s about dominance, control, and a hint of pain that can send shivers down your spine. But, like all things kinky, there’s an art to it:

• Hand Positioning: Use your whole hand to grasp the hair, avoiding pulling just a few strands.
• Direction: Always pull in the direction the hair naturally falls.
• Tension: Go for a steady pull rather than a sharp tug.

40. Power-Play Oral

Power-play oral is a tantalizing twist on a classic act. Imagine oral sex, but with the added thrill of dominance and submission. The dominant partner, the receiver, takes the reins, guiding the submissive on the how’s and when’s of the act.

For an added layer of kink, introduce some bondage gear, like cuffs or ropes. It’s all about control, restraint, and surrendering to pleasure.

How to Have Kinky Sex Safely

Ah, the allure of kinky sex! It’s thrilling, tantalizing, and a surefire way to add some sizzle to the bedroom. But, like the most intoxicating of dances, it comes with its own set of rules. Especially for those just dipping their toes into the world of kink, it’s essential to tread with care and caution.

Safety First!

Before diving headfirst into any new kinky activity, do your homework. Knowledge is power, and in this case, it’s also the key to pleasure. Whether it’s bondage, role-playing, or any other form of kink, understanding the ins and outs ensures not just maximum pleasure but also safety. Remember, a well-informed lover is a sexy lover!

Communication is Key

Ever heard the saying, “It’s good to talk”? Well, when it comes to kink, it’s great to talk! Open up a dialogue with your partner. Discuss boundaries, desires, and any apprehensions. It’s all about creating a safe space where both of you feel heard and understood. And hey, these conversations can be pretty steamy too!

Consent, Consent, Consent!

This can’t be stressed enough. Consent is the bedrock of any sexual activity, especially when exploring kink. Both partners should be on the same page, eager, and enthusiastic. If there’s even a hint of hesitation, it’s best to pause, discuss, and only proceed if both are comfortable.

Aftercare: The Cherry on Top

Kinky sessions can be intense, both physically and emotionally. That’s where aftercare comes in. It’s the tender, loving care you give and receive after a kinky session. Whether it’s cuddling, discussing the experience, or simply holding each other, aftercare ensures both partners feel cherished and valued.

In the end, kinky sex is all about exploration, trust, mutual pleasure, and inviting spice into your sex life. So, while you’re pushing the boundaries of vanilla sex and exploring desires, always remember to play safe and keep the lines of communication open.

So, which of these kinky ideas will you try tonight? 😉

Watch the Full Kinky Sex Course on Beducated

Ever thought of integrating sensory deprivation in the bedroom? Or maybe you’re interested in exploring your sexual fantasies? In this course, sex educators Charlotte Mia Rose and Chris Maxwell Rose provide guides on roleplay, power dynamics, and the sensation matrix – all in a safe, consensual manner.

Start your kinky adventure today with a free trial on Beducated!