How to Have Rough Sex: 5 Ideas to Try Tonight

Rough sex. You’ve probably heard the term thrown around in hushed conversations or seen it in steamy movie scenes. But what is rough sex, really?

At its core, rough sex is a consensual sexual practice that incorporates elements of dominance, submission, and physical intensity. Think of it as the spicy kick to your regular vanilla intimacy. From the tantalizing sting of spanking to the thrilling dynamics of power play, rough sex can indeed be an exhilarating ride. Some might even call it a little bit aggressive, and it’s totally normal if it causes a bit of pain. The degree, of course, depends on how comfortable you and your partner(s) are with it. But more on that later.

Why the buzz around it, you ask? Well, rough sex can add an electrifying layer of excitement to your sex life, allowing couples to explore new depths of intimacy and trust. It’s like discovering a secret room in a house you’ve lived in for years.

Why do I Like Rough Sex?

Ah, the age-old question: why do some of us gravitate towards the wilder side of the bedroom? Let’s dive deep into the psychological reasons why we enjoy rough sex.

The Sensations

For many, rough sex is all about heightened sensations. Just as some of us love the adrenaline rush of a rollercoaster or a thrilling movie, rough sex can offer a similar kind of exhilarating experience. It’s not necessarily about pain or dominance; it’s about feeling alive.

The intense physical sensations — from a playful spank to a firm grip — can send tingles all over and amplify the overall sexual experience.

Escaping the Mind

Ever felt the need to just be in the moment and let go of real lige? For some, rough sex is a way to escape the constant chatter of the mind and be fully present in the body.

It’s a break from overthinking, from stress, and from the mundane. It’s a chance to let go, to surrender, and to feel.

More Than Vanilla

Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with vanilla sex. In fact, it can be incredibly passionate and satisfying. But just as we have diverse tastes in food, music, and fashion, our sexual preferences can vary widely too.

Some people enjoy rough sex because it is a type of kinky sex that adds a dash of spice to their intimate life, breaking the monotony and exploring new territories of pleasure.

Power Play

Rough sex often involves elements of power dynamics. This doesn’t mean that those who enjoy it are aggressive or have underlying violent tendencies.

It’s more about the play of dominance and submission, the thrill of control and surrender, and the dance of trust and vulnerability.

How to Have Rough Sex (Safely)

Ready to add a little spice to your intimate moments? Let’s dive into the tantalizing world of rough sex. But before we get all steamy, let’s lay down some ground rules. After all, safety and consent are fundamental to every sexual adventure!

Talk it Out

Before you even think about turning up the heat, it’s essential to have a heart-to-heart with your partner(s). Sit them down, pour a glass of wine (or tea, if that’s your jam), and express your desire to explore the wilder side of intimacy.

Are they on board? Great! Now’s the time to discuss boundaries, desires, and expectations. Be clear about the rough sex acts you want to try. Remember, darlings, the golden rule of rough sex (or any sex, really) is consent. It’s not just sexy; it’s mandatory.

Choose a Safe Word

Ever heard of a safe word? It’s like your secret escape button. When things get too intense or if you’re just not feeling it, uttering this word will halt everything. Choose something fun and out of context—like “pineapple” or “unicorn.”

And if you’re thinking, “Do I really need a safe word?” The answer is a resounding YES! It’s all about ensuring both you and your partner feel safe and in control.

Don’t Skip the Lube

Think of lubricant as your best friend in this journey. It ensures everything slides smoothly, reducing the risk of pain and discomfort. So, whether you’re going for a water-based or silicone option, make sure you have plenty on hand.

Not sure which one to pick? Dive into Beducated’s guide to find the perfect slippery companion for your escapades.

Get ‘in the Mood’

Now, before you dive into the deep end, make sure everyone’s feeling the vibe. Tension during rough sex is a no-go; it can lead to discomfort and even soreness. So, indulge in some tantalizing foreplay.

Light some candles, play some tunes, and let the anticipation build. Remember, it’s all about the journey, not just the destination. So, take your time, explore each other, and let the excitement simmer.

Make Things Rough

Alright, hotshot, now that you’re all prepped and primed, it’s time to get down to business. But hey, there’s no rush! Start with some light teasing—maybe a gentle nibble on their lip, some playful hair-pulling, or even a little dirty talk. As the passion intensifies, let your imagination run wild. Draw inspiration from your favorite steamy scenes or those secret fantasies you’ve been itching to try.

Just remember to stay within the boundaries you’ve set. And if you’re hungry for more ideas to elevate your rough sex game, keep reading. We’ve got plenty more where that came from!

Take Things Slow

When diving into the thrilling world of rough sex, it’s tempting to jump right into the deep end. But start slow, and let the passion grow.

Think of rough sex as a dance. You don’t start with the most complex moves, right? Begin with low intensity, savoring each sensation, and as trust builds, you can gradually turn up the heat. It’s all about enjoying the journey and not just the destination.

Before ramping up the intensity, it’s crucial to keep those communication lines wide open. Whether it’s a whispered “Is this okay?” or a more assertive “Do you like this?”, checking in with your partner is essential. It’s all about finding that sweet spot where pleasure meets comfort. And remember, you have a safe word for a reason!

While words are powerful, sometimes, it’s the non-verbal cues that say it all. A moan, a gasp, or even a simple squeeze of the hand can speak volumes. So, keep your senses alert and tune into your partner’s body language.

5 Rough Sex Ideas

Alright, hot stuff! You’ve got the basics down, and now you’re itching to dive into the deep end. Let’s get into the nitty-gritty of some tantalizing rough sex ideas that’ll leave you breathless (in a good way, of course!).

1. Spanking

When it comes to rough sex, a little spanking is like the cherry on top of a sundae. It’s playful, it’s spicy, and oh-so-satisfying. One of the go-to moves?

Get into the doggy-style position, and let the giver deliver some playful slaps on the receiver’s butt cheeks. It’s a sensation that’s sure to send shivers down your spine!

Want to learn how to spank like a pro? Check out Beducated’s Erotic Spanking course!

2. Gripping & Grabbing

Using grip and grabbing during intimacy? It’s like adding a pinch of salt to your favorite dish—just the right amount of zest. Especially during penetrative sex.

Explore each other’s bodies, from the curve of the waist to the back. Picture this: the giver passionately pulling the receiver’s hair while in the doggy style. Whew! Talk about electrifying!

You can also consider using grip and grabbing during the build-up. Grab your partner playfully and push them onto the bed before climbing on top of them. Pin their arms to the bed as you go down on them. Grip their legs as you have your way with them. Get creative!

3. Tie Them Up

Bondage can be both thrilling and sensual. Whether you’re using silky ropes, playful handcuffs, or versatile bondage tape, it’s all about trust and surrender.

Bondage isn’t just about restraint; it’s an exhilarating way to play with power dynamics. Plus, it’s a lesson in letting go and fully immersing yourself in the moment. So, are you ready to play?

If you haven’t tried bondage before, your best bet is to practice your ties on inanimate objects before bringing a rope to the bedroom.

Start with simple ties like the “Single Column Tie.” You can use this type of tie in various ways — around the wrist, ankle, or even use it as a collar for the neck. This tie forms the basis of other, more complex patterns. Also, always ensure that the rope is not too tight. Compressing the nerves can be hazardous. It should feel secure but not painful.

Eager to become a rope play pro? Check out the Shibari course on Beducated for a video tutorial complete with live demonstrations!

4. Talk Dirty

Dirty talk is like adding a soundtrack to your intimate moments. It’s not just about the words—it’s the tone, the intent, the passion behind them.

When it comes to dirty talk, you really don’t have to overthink it! Tell your partner what you want, how you want it, and where you want it. It’s a surefire way to ramp up the excitement and get those pulses racing.

5. Choking

Neck grabbing and light choking can be both exhilarating and intense. It’s a dance of dominance and submission that requires trust and communication. If you’re curious about this, remember safety first! Always be mindful of the pressure—gentle is the name of the game.

Focus on gently applying pressure to the sides of the neck, never the windpipe. And always, always have a ‘code’ in place, whether it’s a hand signal or a tapping system, to ensure things remain pleasurable and safe.

Rough Sex Aftercare

After the whirlwind of passion and intensity that is rough sex, it’s essential to come back to earth and reconnect with your partner. This is where aftercare comes into play. Think of it as the cozy blanket you wrap yourself in after a thrilling roller-coaster ride.

Comfort First

Once the heat of the moment has passed, it’s time to focus on physical comfort. Check-in with your partner. How are they feeling? Do they need anything? Maybe it’s a soft blanket to keep warm, a glass of water or tea to hydrate, or perhaps a warm shower to wash away the sweat and feel refreshed.

These small gestures can make a world of difference, ensuring that both of you feel cared for and cherished.

The Power of Touch

After the intensity of rough play, it’s time to switch gears and indulge in some gentle, non-sexual physical intimacy.

Cuddling, hugging, or simply holding hands can be incredibly soothing. It’s a way to reaffirm your bond and show your partner that beyond the rough play, there’s a deep foundation of trust and affection.

Communication

Once you’re both settled and comfortable, use this time to discuss and reflect on your experience. What did you love? Was there anything that made you uncomfortable?

Sharing feedback is crucial. It not only helps improve future encounters but also strengthens your bond. Remember, it’s all about ensuring both partners feel safe, appreciated, and heard.

So if you want more rough sex in the future, be sure to talk about it during aftercare!

Conclusion

Diving into the world of rough sex can be an exhilarating journey filled with new sensations, heightened intimacy, and a deeper understanding of your own desires and boundaries. But like any adventure, it’s essential to be prepared, communicate openly, and always prioritize safety and consent.

Remember, it’s not just about the heat of the moment but the trust and connection you build with your partner. So, whether you’re just starting out or looking to spice things up, take our advice to heart, and embark on this passionate journey with care and understanding.

Here’s to many thrilling and safe adventures in the world of rough intimacy! 🥂💖

Watch the Rough Sex course on Beducated

What makes rough sex so hot? Porn as a performance can give us lots of erotic inspiration and creativity — but it fails to tell us how to do it.

Do not fear, Luna Matatas is here! She’ll teach you all about concrete techniques like hair-pulling, spanking, restraints, and how to explore your feelings around rough sex to understand your boundaries better.

Start your free trial today and watch the full Rough Sex course on Beducated!