Fisting for Beginners Online Course:
Explore Vaginal and Anal Fisting Pleasure

Hey, friends, welcome to Fisting. My name is Tek Malloy and I am a queer, non-binary, trans masque, holistic sex educator, and I use they them pronouns. I'm really excited to be here with you all today to teach you a little bit about fisting, how to do it, Why? To do it, what to support it with, and all sorts of other tips and tricks to have an amazing fisting experience. I really think that fisting is an incredible sex act, an incredible experience, and it's something that everyone can learn from if they are interested in doing penetration of any kind. Because the foundations of fisting really support us to penetrate folks with any other kind of object or hand or body part in a safe and consensual and pleasurable way. So let's jump into some of this content. Before we start, I want to give you a disclaimer that this training was intended for educational purposes, and it's not meant to give medical advice or be a replacement for therapy. So what are we learning today? Let's go over our agenda real quick. Today, we're going to learn about what fisting is. We're going to talk about vaginal versus anal fisting. We're going to talk about why somebody might want to be fisted or for somebody else. We're going to talk about how to introduce fisting, how to fist someone, and then we're going to talk about safety and aftercare. What is fisting. Simply put, fisting is the act of putting your entire fist in somebody whole. It's similar but different to punching, which is when you put your entire fist into somebody's hole. But you keep your fist in this position the entire time. In fisting, we keep our hand like this when we're inserting it, and then once our fist is inside, somebodys hole, then we close our fist into the actual fist of shape. We can think of them on a spectrum, and we can think of penetration on a spectrum as well. In that penetration and goes from anything as small as a finger or a small dildo or plug all the way up to a fist or a very large toy or anything else that you can safely put in your hole. So let's talk about vaginal fisting versus anal fisting. It's not a showdown. We're just going to compare them. Anal fisting is generally reserved for people who have had a lot of experience putting things in there. But so that's something to think about before you try anal fisting. You'll want to start with something small and then work up to a larger toy before you try putting a fist in an anus. Gloves can be really great to use with anal fisting because of the contact with potential contact with feces, but you can also do an enema if you want, which can help clear the anal passage. You absolutely don't have to do it enema though. If that doesn't feel good to you or you don't want to, it's absolutely not a requirement. Another thing to remember in anal fisting is that you don't want to use poppers or numbing creams before engaging in anal fisting because this one can inhibit our ability to receive pain signals from our body, which let us know if we need to stop or slow down. Let's talk about vaginal fisting for a second. In many ways, vaginal and anal fisting are very similar. One key difference is that vaginal muscles are designed to be a little bit more stretchy than anus is. You can think about the way that vaginas are specifically designed to birth big ass babies, whereas anuses are not specifically designed to birth babies, although they are still designed to have things come out of them. In vaginal fisting, we can also use gloves to protect our our hands and the other person's body from any tears or contracting any STIs. Another thing to think about in vaginal fisting is that some people are going to be able to receive a fist easier than others, and some people just can't receive a fist. That's not the way that their body is designed, and that's totally okay. It is a genuinely a little bit more common that somebody could receive a fist from vaginal fisting upon the first time trying to face them versus anal fisting, which usually requires quite a bit of prep and practice. Why make somebody want to be fisted? There are a lot of reasons why somebody might want to be fisted or fist somebody. So let's go through some of these reasons. The benefits of fisting. One huge benefit of fisting is the sensation of fullness that you can get from being fisted. If you like large dildos receiving multiple fingers, large penises or fist shaped toys, fisting may be a great sex act for you to try. Another reason why somebody might want to engage in fisting is that it can stimulate lots of sensitive erogenous zones in our genitals and our pelvic ball. A couple of these zones might include the G-spot, the C spot, the Ace spot, and the P spot. Let's go over those spots for a second. Really more like zones, because it's not just one particular point. It's usually an area on the body that feels particularly good to be stimulated, rubbed or massage. You can find the G-spot by inserting two fingers into a vaginal canal, pressing upwards toward the person's belly button and then pressing towards your body and using this kind of come hither motion. The G-spot can be really sensitive and stimulate the internal clitoris structure, but some people find it to be too intense and don't like it as much. There's also the a spot which is the interior for an ex erogenous zone, which is further back in the vaginal canal. So if you're somebody who likes really deep penetration, you might be somebody who likes a spot stimulation. The C spot is also the cervix. So that's also a place that people really like stimulated sometimes. But for other people they find it to be too sensitive and it can even feel painful. But you can imagine if you have an entire fist on some of these body, you could simultaneously be stimulating the G-spot C spot and a spot by having all of that face and body and hand up in that hole. The piece is also known as the prostate, and you can find the prostate a couple inches into the rectum. And so if you insert your fingers into a rectum and then press towards the person's belly button, that is the prostate, it should feel kind of squishy and and can also stimulate orgasms that are really intense for people with prostate. But again, not everybody likes prostate stimulation and it is a great spot to stimulate though during game office thing. Another benefit of fisting is to fulfill a fantasy of some kind. Fantasy is like group sex, consensual or non consent, double penetration or being a gaping hole or having a bottomless pit are common fantasies to incorporate with fisting. Can you think of any other fantasies that you might want to explore while exploring fisting in another reason why somebody might want to explore fisting is to experiment with power dynamics. Fisting can be a really fun way to play with trust and power exchange because it requires such vulnerability and communication in order to get your fist into somebodys hole. And so it can be really helpful to engage in a power dynamic in order to help the person receiving a fist really let go and release and surrender and give the person who is inserting their fist the control and confidence in order to successfully put their fist into somebody else's whole. Remember, however, that dominance and submission can be experienced in any role so you don't have to be inserting a fist into somebody in order to be in the dominant role. You can also be receiving a fist and telling your sub exactly how to put their fist inside of you and do it perfectly exactly the way you want to. Another thing to think about is that fisting can sometimes be painful or uncomfortable. It doesn't have to be, but it can be. And for some people, that's part of the fun of fisting. So if you're kind of a pain slut, you might want to incorporate some of that into your power exchange while playing with fisting. Another reason somebody might want to explore fisting is because it's still considered to be a taboo or fringe sex act. Engaging in something that feels forbidden or naughty can enhance the erotic charge of a sexual experience. And last but not least, this thing can also increase intimacy between partners. It requires a lot of communication and relax shown to be mutually pleasurable, so intimacy can naturally grow from trying out an activity that is a little bit edgy, requires a little bit more intention, and generally is a longer sex act to. How to introduce the idea of fisting when we're introducing the idea of fisting. Whether this is something that we've talked about with partners before or we're bringing it up for the first time, there are a couple of different ways that we can do this. We can ask our partners specifically about desires or sensations that they enjoy in order to get more information about whether fisting would be a good fit for them. So asking them questions like, Do you like feeling? Do you like being filled up during sex? Do you like to have a big cock inside of you? Would you want to explore even more stretching and pain sensation in penetration? Questions like that can help gauge whether your partner might be interested in investing. You can also just come out and ask them directly. Hey, are you interested in investing? I actually just took this class and I'd love to share with you. Or I just bought a new porn video and I'd love to watch it with you. It's about fisting, and I thought it was really hot. You can also take a class together. You can read erotica or read books that include fisting. And you can talk to your friends or other partners about their experiences of fisting to gather some more information to see if it would be a good fit for you. Now, if you introduce this thing to a partner and they say, Now that's okay, remember to take a deep breath and know that there's nothing wrong with you for wanting to fist or be fisted. It's okay for partners to have different needs and desires in their sex life. Remember that fisting is also not for everybody's body, so a partner might be responding to the idea of having an entire fist in themself when maybe they're excited about the fantasy of fisting, but they don't want you to put your actual fist in their hole. If that's the case, then you can explore fantasy. You can pretend that you're fisting them or talk about the fantasy and masturbate together and incorporate it in other ways. If you're somebody who wants to be fisted and your partner is not interested in pursuing you, you can absolutely use sex toys to get the experience of being fisted and filled up. There are a lot of different kinds of dildos that are very large sizes that you can utilize. One personal favorite of mine is the thick skinned gambler, and there are also a couple of different fisting toys that you can utilize that are shaped in the shape of a fist. In particular, there's this one company called clone annually that is designed to create a clone of a bio penis, but you can also use it to create a clone of your face or a partner's fist if you're ever, like, really fantasizing about their hands being inside you and then create a silicone mold of that and you can use it to penetrate yourself. Okay, So now we're going to jump into how to fist. I'm going to take you through step by step, how to get your fist into somebodys hole and step one, the first thing you're going to want to do is lube up your hand and the hole that you're putting your hand into. If you're using silicone lube, you want to be sure to not get it on any silicone toys. If you're using any latex, you want to be sure to not get oil based lube on that latex. And if you're using water based lube, you can use it on anything. Yeah. So Waterways Loop is a really great lube to use if you just don't want to worry about anything at all. Another really great trick specifically for fisting, because oftentimes we'll need to reapply lube is that you can use an oil based fluid first as a base, presuming you're not using latex, and then you can put a water based lube on top of that, the oil based lube creates a barrier between your skin and the waterways lube, and it helps the water based lube last longer because it's not absorbing into your tissue quite as quickly. So the first thing you're going to do after you lube up is insert one finger into a hole. Start with just one finger. You can work up two more later, even if you just start with one finger and then immediately put a second finger in there. That's okay. But you always want to start with one finger to really get a sense of how that hole is doing. If it's feeling warmed up, if it's feeling ready to raring to go, or if it's feeling like, you know, it needs a little bit more, a little bit more arousal needs a little bit more foreplay. With fisting in particular, it can be really helpful to have one or multiple orgasms before you even start doing these steps, because with investing, our bodies really need to be in this high state of arousal in order to open up and receive an entire fist. Having orgasms helps with our high arousal and helps relax our tissues and muscles. The next thing you're going to do once you've already put a finger in is communicate with your partner and begin to put more fingers in. You can just do whatever feels good to your partner. So ask them, do you like fast or do you like slow? Do you want me to go back and forth or do you want me to do the come hither motion? Talk to them about what's feeling good and keep doing what's feeling good. Slowly add more fingers and incorporate any other sensations that are working for them. Remember that you want to keep them in that high arousal place so if it's feeling really good and your partner has another orgasm, that's okay. You can keep rolling with that and then just slow down a little bit and go back to basics and then work them up again and keep putting your fingers. And more and more, when your partner's ready, you can start inserting more fingers than just one or two. You can insert, start inserting three fingers and move those fingers back and forth. Ask your partner how they're feeling, how's it going over? Communicate with them about what's happening specifically when you get to your fourth finger. This is kind of an important moment because you're going to have your three fingers plus your little pinky finger squish together and you're going to notice that you really are going to reach this point where you have to put your more rigid knuckles into some of these hole and you don't have the flexibility of being able to squish your fingers together. Right. So this is called the cusp point. And when you get to the cusp point, you want to be really mindful of taking it slow and making sure that you're not shoving your hand into somebody's body before they're ready. At this point, you can even sort of come back down and take a couple of fingers out and go back to two, then go to three, then go to four and back down again to really stretch and open the whole. You can also do things like shifting your hand in circles, moving back and forth, even putting a couple other fingers from your other hand into their hole to sort of stretch it open and start to open their whole. So it would be more accessible to get in this more rigid point of your hand. Once you reach this point where you're putting your knuckles into somebody's hole or reaching that point where you're about to, it may feel more intense or painful for the person receiving the hand or fist. That's okay. You just want to make sure that you're breathing and communicating with your partner about what feels best to them and how much capacity they have for discomfort. Some people are not interested in any kind of pain play and that is so okay. Fisting does not have to be painful, but if you are interested in pain play, be sure that you're using some of your skills, like your red, green and yellow lights, or you're giving a range of what kind of number you're at in terms of pain. So being like, I only want to go to a five today and I'm at like a three. So once you're ready to press the rest of your hand into somebodys hole, you're at this point you really want to try to like scoop up around the pelvic bone. If you're in somebody, somebody's vaginal canal, and if you're in the anus, you want to look for the sensation of the two sphincters, because in the anus there is one sphincter on the outside and then a couple centimeters and there's another sphincter. So once you get past that point and once you get past the pelvic bone in both holes, your hand is going to kind of drop into the hole and you're going to experience that incredible sensation of a warm, wet, hot hole that is totally surrounding your fist. And at that point, you should probably still be in this position. But in a moment, I'll talk you through how you can close your fist into this position. So once you've moved past that cusp place and your hand is entirely in some of these hole, you want to take a moment to take a deep breath yourself and also have the person being forced to take a deep breath. At this point, it can be helpful to just stay here for a second while the person being faster gets used to the sensation of having an entire fist in their hole. Then, when they're ready, you can slowly close your fist into this kind of more typical fist position. If the person just wants you to stay like this in their whole, that's great. This is a really great position for stimulating that a spot and the C spot, as I said before, because you can actually use your fingers to get into some more specific spots in their body. But the fist shape is really great too. If somebody prefers more a massage or more of a broad surface area on their cervix, once you also are in somebodys whole, you want to make sure to encourage them to take deep breaths and also take it slow before you start thrusting or moving your hand around a bunch. Because this point where you put your fist into somebody's whole can be really intense and really stimulating. So be sure to take it slow and don't overexert either person before you're ready to move on. Now, once you are ready to move on, you can continue to explore any sensations that feel really good. Your hand is in the person's hole and you're feeling this amazing sensation of filling them up. It's warm and magical and sensational, and the person you're fisting is like so excited about it, you know, you all are having a great time. You can start to incorporate other things that feel good, like vibrators, other kinds of touching sensations, kissing sensation, play cuffs or restraints or all kinds of things. Whatever you want. Now you're facing session is coming to a close and you're ready to pull your fist out. Let's talk about this for a moment, because likely if you are using water based lube, a lot of that lube has dried up at this point. So you're going to want to reapply lube to the base of your fist around, wherever it is open, wherever it is around the opening of the person's body and any lube that you can get up in to the person's body very gently, you know, if you have like a little hole right here, a little crevice, you can squirt some lube in there. For example. Then, very slowly, I recommend twisting and turning your fist like this. Or if your fist is like this, twisting and turning it is a lot easier to take your fist out if it's in this position. And you can just see this right now. If you do this with your own fist, holding your fist like this creates more width here. And when you have your fist up and down like this, it's skinnier and thinner. So returning your fist to this position is likely going to be more comfortable for the person as you pull out in the anus. In particular, the most nerve endings are in those two sphincters that are the opening of the rectal canal and the anus. So that's going to be the point that has the most sensation. So going in and coming out are going to be much more intense than just having your fist in some of these body for a longer period of time. This can also be true with people with vaginas. So when everyone is ready, you're going to ask, are you ready? Take a deep breath and slowly start to pull your fist out while doing some very slow movements to kind of turn it out and pull it out at the same time. It can be helpful to have the person who's being fisted guide a fist out of their body so they can really go at the pace that they want to. And you can also continue to apply lube at every step of the way. So if you get a little further out and then it's kind of like stuck at that point, you can apply some more lube. Usually, though, once you get past the point, the rest of your hand will just pull out and then you can take a couple deep breaths and ground with the person that you just fisted and then move on to whatever kind of aftercare you're going to do. We'll talk about aftercare a little bit later, but for now, let's move on to a couple of tips and tricks that can make your fisting experience even more sensational. Let's discuss some tips and tricks that can make the sting experiences even better. We talked about lube a little bit, but I want to emphasize this again. But it's really important to find a lube that really works for your body and for your partner's body. Specifically, the person getting fisted they need to be using only that they know really works for them because you don't want to get an allergic reaction or have any kind of weirdness happen the first time that you're fisting somebody. So be sure to stick to a lube that you've tried before. You want to avoid any lubes with glycerin or parabens, because parabens are inconclusively linked to breast cancer, and glycerin can cause yeast infections. A great tool to use when applying lube as a lube shooter, which is basically kind of looks like a really big syringe that you can put lube into and then shoot it up into somebody's hole. This helps coat lube into their canal and makes it easier to insert a vest and take it out. If you are using gloves during your fisting session, which can be really great because if you have any hanging nails or sharp nails, gloves can smooth your hand out and make it easier to insert and pull out. You want to use either a silicone live or a water based lube trick if you have sharp nails, is to put cotton balls or Play-Doh on the tips of your nails before you put a glove over it. Another tip for exploring fisting is to remember that fisting can be a very long and slow process. I would recommend giving yourself multiple hours to explore fisting definitely the first time. But also after that, particularly because it takes our bodies a while to relax and open and stretch. It can be really important to give yourself multiple hours to stay in a highly aroused state and then after fisting, because it can be such an intense experience, it's really important to incorporate really good aftercare, good cuddling, good snacks, good warmth and whatever else feels really good to you after you've had an intense sexual experience. We can also explore different kinds of possessions when we're exploring fisting. This can be particularly important depending on your partners ability and the most comfortable position for their body to be in. Remember that you can absolutely utilize furniture, sex, furniture, pillows and any other kinds of sex accouterments like sex slings that can help make your body in the most comfortable and relaxed that it can be. If you are in a more comfortable space in your entire body, then it's going to be easier for you to open up and receive an entire fist. Also, for the person fisting somebody, you also want to think about what the most comfortable position is going to be for you that you can stay in for a longer time. For example, one position that can be really comfortable is to have somebody lie on their back on a bed and have their legs hanging off the side of the bed and their feet on the ground. The person who is fisting them, then probably wants to have a really soft pillow or many blankets underneath them so they can kneel in front of the person's whole. Another really great position for fisting is doggy style position, and especially if you can stack a bunch of pillows underneath the person's abdomen that can help really open up their holes and really allow you to see their holes really well, if they can relax into the pillows and have their pelvis elevated. Remember that when you're fisting somebody, it's important to still include other things like oral sex in your hands and any kind of stimulation that feels good to the person being visited. So consider licking their booty whole, like their clit, like their penis, like their balls suck on their legs or ass or nipples or breasts. Anything that feels really good to the person that's going to keep them in a high, high state of arousal is going to be really helpful for your fisting practice. It's also super helpful to incorporate other sex toys into fisting using a vibrator to keep somebody stimulated while you're fisting one of their holes is incredibly helpful to keep them in a more high aroused state. It can also be really helpful to use vibrators or dildos to help train our body to accommodate it best. So think about toys that you can use that are maybe like different sizes, starting with a very small size and working up to a larger size to help train your body to accommodate a larger sized fist. A question I get asked a lot as a sex educator is is fisting safe? And the answer is fisting can be safe. We don't always know how these activities are going to impact our bodies. So here are a couple of things that can happen when we engage in fisting pelvic pain, micro abrasions, discomfort, incontinence, squeezing and hemorrhoids in particular, people who have had hysterectomies as are going through menopause or have gotten a vaginoplasty should be especially cautious and careful with that gentle fisting. This isn't to say that they shouldn't experience vaginal fisting at all, but that they might want to get a little bit more medical guidance or just be extremely cautious and slow in their process of fisting. Let's talk about how we support our bodies and our partners. After fisting. Fisting can be an extremely emotionally and physically intense, meditative and even spiritual experience. It may give folks an intense drop afterwards. Let's talk about what drop means. Drop is the experience of having a large shift in one's emotional landscape after an intense sexual experience. Drop feelings can include feeling sad, feeling euphoric, feeling guilty, feeling depressed, feeling anxious, feeling hurt or angry, and really any other emotion that can happen to a human person. Drop is extremely common to experience, both immediately after a sexual experience, but also multiple days after a sexual experience. So you want to be sure to check in with a partner right after they have an intense sexual experience and also a couple of days or even a couple of weeks after to see if anything shifted for them or if they need any kind of extra attention or aftercare that they didn't get immediately afterwards. One tip is to set up an alarm on your phone or your calendar to remind yourself to check in with a partner a couple of days after you had a sexual experience. This is especially helpful if you have multiple partners and you're kind of trying to keep track of everybody that you're caring for and lastly, but certainly not least, let's talk a little bit about aftercare. Aftercare is a word that we use in the community to describe the kind of care that we give somebody immediately after and ongoing after a sexual experience, after care can look really different for each individual person. So for some people they might want some space. They might want to be alone. Other people might want cuddles and attention and kind words you want to think about before you engage in your sexual experience. What sort of aftercare is going to be most supportive for you? So you can think about generally what is a supportive experience for you and how you relate to other people when you're feeling maybe especially activated or scared? Do you generally like hugs? Do you like to have space? Do you like to eat snacks? You like to watch a movie where it feels best to you. So make sure that you make an aftercare plan before you start having sex with somebody, but then also check in with them after your sexual experience and ask them like, Hey, does that plan still work for you? Do you want to change it? Or do you want to tweak it specifically with fisting, which can be such an intense and powerful and phantom tastic experience? Really take the time to think about how you can best support your body after that experience so you feel really excited to explore it again and you feel the most safe and secure that you possibly can. Okay, friends, thank you so much for joining me for this fisting class. I am wishing so many amazing fisting experiences and know that I have here for you for any kinds of questions or concerns that you may have or feedback or compliments. My email is [email protected], and my Instagram is @queerbrainslut. I hope that you have a wonderful rest of your day and I hope to see him. Bye for now.