Sex After Menopause Online Course:
Thrive in Your Sexuality Beyond Menopause

Hello and welcome to Sex After Menopause. My name is Lauren Bram and I am a sexual wellness coach and educator, and I am so happy to welcome you to this course. So sex after menopause. Let's let's dive in and start with the definition of what is menopause. So menopause is the ceasing of menstruation. It typically happens for women between the ages of 45 and 55, and the average age is 51. So as you approach your late thirties, your ovaries start making less estrogen and progesterone. The hormones that regulate menstruation and menstrual periods can become longer or shorter, heavier or lighter, more or less frequent, and then eventually they come to an end. So in our culture, we have this message that after menopause, your desire goes away, your vagina dries up. And I wanted to create this course to say that that is B.S., that it is not true. And I want to tell you why. Show you the research that backs up what I have to say and help you to discover an incredible experience of sexuality post menopause. And you might be interested in this course and approaching menopause, you might. Maybe you just have issues with desire and lubrication in general, and you want to get some help with it. Maybe you're just curious. Maybe you're a sex educator yourself and you want to understand this better because there's a lot of misinformation. And out there there's a lot of people saying, yeah, you know, your vagina is dry, so just use lube or yeah, your desire is low, but that's okay. You know, you might just be a low desire person, but the way I see it, and I've worked with a lot of women and I've read a lot of books, I'm actually studying for my doctorate in human sexuality at the moment is that lubrication comes from the mind, but it also comes from the physical body. We can we can address these sources and increase that desire. Yes, there's a spectrum of desire. Some people want to have sex all the time, some people less frequently. But having an extremely low libido so is actually a sign of of disease in the body. It's not a sign of vibrant health. When we have vibrant health, we have a lust, a desire for life. We are curious. Our sexuality is is awake, it's turned on, It's at a simmer. We're going to talk about what that means a little bit later. So I believe that sexual health is a part of total health. And I'm not alone in this. The World Health Organization acknowledges this as well. So we are going to dive into all of that with this course. And we are going to get rid of this myth that, you know, you're menopausal and your hormones are gone, so your libido is clearly disappeared. Your vaginas clearly dried up. And this is B.S. And let's just start with why. So hormones actually have no effect on your desire. So the fact that your hormones have started to dwindle, started to change so that, you know, you no longer have a menstrual cycle, doesn't mean that you no longer have desire. Hormones have no effect on desire. And we're going to talk a little bit more about this, but my reference for this is from the book Come as you are, where they talk about the research behind that. The other thing is that lots of women have issues with dryness and in 1994, sex in America survey, 20% of women complained of trouble lubricating with sex. These are not just postmenopausal women. So lubrication is is a specific issue. It can be addressed. We're not going to say, you know, menopause did it. So if our hormones aren't causing our lack of desire and aren't necessarily the full picture of dryness, what is causing this lack of wit? Let's start with desire. What is causing this lack of desire in in our culture? And when we go to the next slide, we see that the cultural message, the cultural messages that we get are so powerful in affecting whether or not we're free to be sexual beings. So you've probably heard of this concept of the Invisible Woman, some Amy Schumer and some other actresses, Tina Fey, they did a video or a film on this recently, a, you know, comedy about, you know, I turned 40. So, you know, I'm invisible now. I'm not sexual now. I'm, you know, my my life is over, basically. But this is rooted in truth. There's this idea that, you know, we have a culture obsessed with youth. And for so long sex is only permissible for procreation. So it's like, okay, you're of the age where you can make babies with sex. Okay? It's okay for you to have sex, but as soon as you can enjoy sex without fear of pregnancy. And we're going to go into next why sex after menopause is better. And one of those reasons is that you don't have to worry about pregnancy. Then there's this this message like, oh, you shouldn't be having sex. Then in general, there's a message that women shouldn't be having sex. And this is coming from, you know, thousands of years of sexual suppression of women, culminating in the Victorian era where even the medical textbooks of the 1800s said a healthy woman has no sexual desire. It's the complete opposite of the truth. So we're still working against this. Women shouldn't have sex, and especially older women shouldn't have sex, which what a double standard. We live in a culture where older men are free to date and be sexual with women. They're same age or younger, but women aren't. Women are called cougars. If they do so, there's a double standard there. We're not comfortable in our society with older sexual women. It is very threatening. It's very scary. So, you know, we'll let them have their you know, we'll let society and culture have their concepts about it. But we need to start to take back and own r-truth. Wait a minute. No, screw that. I'm I'm I was sexual the day I was born. I came from sex. I will die a sexual being and sex is a part of the whole continuum of my life. And, you know, and then curiosity. So what does it look like for me now? Who am I as a sexual being now, giving ourselves permission to have sex and to be sexual. So just sitting with that for a moment, what does it mean to be a sexual woman at the age I am? What does that mean for those around me? What does it mean for my own pleasure? Looking at some of the considerations you might have, what considerations belief systems are holding you back? Just take a moment to to think about that and maybe do some writing and let those go. The reality is that sex after menopause is better. You don't have to worry about pregnancy. This is a huge thing that causes women anxiety. And once you're menopausal, it's gone. You don't have to deal with menstrual cycles, with tampons and pads and pills and or even with condoms, you know, if you're with a monogamous partner. So this is a huge freedom. You can have any type of sex any time of the month. You don't have interruption by young children. For most menopausal women, their children are out of the house or at least more independent. And they don't have to worry. They have more time, they don't have to worry about someone walking in on them. So this can be a huge beneficial piece to your sex life. Women, typically, as we get older, we know more and more of what we want and we are less inhibited about asking for it. We're not just worried about what are people going to think of me? What's the world going to think of me? We can just ask for what we want and this translate to a greater experience of sexuality. Because when we know what we want, when we ask for it, when we go after it, this really improves our pleasure with sex and our desire can increase. So for some people, they say, Wow, now that I'm not worried about pregnancy, I'm not worried about, you know, being interrupted. I have, you know, more financial stability and all of that. They actually feel more turned on. They have more of a desire for sex. How opposite is that of the message that we've been getting of, Well, your hormones are gone, so don't expect to want any sex unless you know your husband really turns you on or you take testosterone supplements or, you know, something like that. So sex after menopause is better. Let's just acknowledge that as truth. So where does desire come from? your brain is constantly you're constantly scanning the environment and looking for things. It's looking for threats to keep us alive. It's looking for sexually relevant stimuli. So how cool is that? Our brains are wired for sex and pleasure, and if they see an attractive partner or a potential partner, if they see something that relates to a fantasy they have, their brain is going to take notice. It's also taking notes, notice of threats like, you know, a play, an audience that wouldn't be receptive to you, you know, having sex or playing out one of your fantasies. And it's sending those signals accordingly. So essentially, if you have highly relevant sexual stimuli with a low threat, meaning you're turned on by something and there's nothing in the environment saying, not now, you know you're nursing a baby or you're sleeping in a bed next to your mother or you know, your kids are in the room. There's nothing that's saying, you know, or your life is threatened, nothing of saying it's not safe to be sexual. Then boom, you get desire. So let's just examine what is sexually relevant, because this is really interesting, because this is learned So in every culture, we get brought up with the story of what is sexual. So, you know, one of the interesting things you learn in anthropology class, if you've ever taken one in college, is that there are some cultures that find that a woman's breasts are not sexual, but you know that her her butt is or in some cultures it might be the shoulder is the most sexual part of a woman's body. Or in some cultures, the man's body might be more sexual than the woman's. We we get these stories about what is sexually relevant from our culture. And what they found is that women, more than men, learn what is sexually relevant from their social environment, and they're not quite sure why this is it. Could they think it could be because the man's genitals are outside of him and sort of easier to get in touch with. Women are. We're very social creatures and we learn what is okay and not okay in every aspect of life from those around us, including what is sexually relevant, what's okay to be turned on by all of that. Again, research has found that developmental psychiatric and psycho sexual history affect desire, not our hormones. So we have this story about what is sexually relevant. We get turned on by sexually relevant stimuli. All of this desire is happening in the brain. So what's shutting down desire? It's not the hormones that are governing, you know, the organs and our menstrual cycle. What's what's turning us on, what's giving us desire is what's happening in our minds. So this is why they found that our our developmental, developmental, psychiatric, all of that is what affects our desire. Dr. Emily, go Ski. Who wrote the book Come As You Are, says that stress self-compassion, trauma, history, relationship, satisfaction and other emotional factors have far more influence on a woman's sexual desire than any hormone. So again, if our desire comes from the mind and our perception of what's sexually relevant and what are threats, then we have to to help a woman with desire, to help a man with desire to anyone with desire. We need to look at their stress, their relationship to their self, any trauma they've had around their bodies, around sex, how happy and safe they feel in their relationship, and a lot of other emotional factors. I would argue. We also have to look at the cultural stories that she's picked up. Is it safe for her to be sexual in this world that we live in or not? We need to examine that, get her mind to observe the environment and what sexually relevant and what's a threat in a different way. And boom, we'll get the formula for desire. So when we think about desire Dr. Nagorski also gives us this example, which is this image that's really great, which is where do you have your foot? Is your foot on the accelerator or is it on the brake when it comes to sexuality? Or do you have a foot on both? Because we can all remember learning to drive, especially if you had to learn to drive a clutch like I did. And, you know, figuring out all of those pedals, it can be pretty complicated. And but the worse is, if you have your foot on the accelerator and the brake at the same time because you go nowhere. So with sex, we most of us are in touch with to some degree, but we can definitely expand this what turns us on. So what is the accelerator for Sex and for desire? And this goes, you know, this goes beyond We're going to talk about a list of of turn ons and turn off soon. But this goes beyond just oh, I'm turned on by, you know, my partner's body or I'm turned on if someone plays with my breasts. This, again, is comes from a deeper place, comes from the subconscious mind. And all of the belief systems we have about whether or not it's safe to be sexual. So trauma or things are parent said or things that have happened to us over life will give us this message that it's not safe to have a body, to have an orgasm, to be wet, to be sexual. And then these unconscious messages will affect us. We also have then what turns us off. So what puts the brake on desire? And this is, again, much deeper than just, you know, I'm not in the mood. I've got a lot of work to do. I mean, as we know, if something really interests us, we'll find a way. We'll postpone that work. Will, you know, be 10 minutes late to get somewhere, Will We'll make time for something if we really want it. So we have to look deeper than the conscious things which we are going to talk about. Some of those too. But the subconscious is telling you not to be sexual at some level. If you've got the brake on, if you're not experiencing desire again, an example could be the belief that older women aren't sexual. In addition to, you know, to the conscious ideas, like the idea that you're taking too long to have an orgasm can be a break. So let's look at just general turn ons and turn off. So what are some accelerators for? For women having an attractive partner who loves and accepts you, This can be a real turn on an accelerator feeling trust in your partner, feeling confident and healthy. So feeling good in your body, feeling like you. You smell good. You feel good. You you taste good that you are a confident, sexy woman your partner is super into all of this is a big turn on feeling desired by your partner. And explicit erotic cues so you know genitals and when they're touched and you know, undressing is you know, our partner. Undressing in front of us is one of the biggest turns turn ons they found. I remember that for my first course in human sexuality, they said one of the biggest turn ons is watching your partner undress. I went, Really? That's that's what turns people on, you know. And I had to explore that some more for myself. So those are explicit erotic cues, watching sex, you know, watching porn, that could be another one. Turn off turn offs can be, you know, having concerns about what other people think. Your own feelings about your your body feeling like it's ugly or, you know, not desirable, you know, having consciously decided that sex is a bad idea and then going, trying to go forward with it like that can really turn you off. You won't be able to achieve arousal or orgasm, an unwanted pregnancy, which luckily this group, you know, likely doesn't have that feeling used or taken advantage of, not feeling accepted by your partner. This style of approach, timing, like if all of this is off, this can be a turnoff, right? Being upset with your partner or for some women being upset about something just currently going on in their life, You know, if it's really upsetting to you, you need to get some resolution about that thing going on with work or a family member before you can really show up and not have your foot on the brake during sex. Okay. So another important part of desire is cultivating our fantasies. So we often think desire just has to do with what's happening in that moment. Is someone turning us on? Is something turning us off? But the reality is that our desire and our arousal is deeper than that. It comes from our fantasies. So when I talk with clients who have a really easily aroused, they have a high level of desire. These same clients always have a really rich fantasy life. And you know, the opposite is when I talk to women that don't have a great deal of desire or arousal or pleasure with sex, they usually don't give themselves permission to fantasize. They haven't developed their fantasies during masturbation and self pleasuring and Dr. Harold Lautenberg found that people who fantasize during sex feel a greater level of sexual satisfaction and have fewer sexual problems in their relationships. Even if the person about whom they fantasize is different than their partner. So fantasy is, you know, the Tisdale calls it the soul of the subconscious, the land of the not done and wished for. It's it's perfectly acceptable for our fantasies to be things that we'll never do. And as soon as we give ourselves permission to have this internal world that separate from our partner, it it it keeps the desire there because it keeps the polarity there. We haven't completely merged with our partner. We have our fantasies, they have theirs, and we have that place where we come together and our partner can also be a part of our fantasies. We can play out fantasies with our partner. Ooh, you know, you're this person and I'm that. I'm doing this to you. You're doing that to me. It's all about playing out our fantasies and the dynamics that really arouse us with our partners. Dr. Kerner, in his book, she Comes First, says that in general, women tend to fantasize in ways that are more situational and narrative, whereas men's fantasies tend to focus on specific physical and graphical elements or sexual encounters. So we do I do see this as well. Women will have such a patients that arouse them. There's sort of a story there about what's happening, whereas men can get more turned on just thinking about, you know, a woman bending over or boobs or, you know, something like that. But don't let that limit you. You might have a more masculine experience, a fantasy, or you might have a more feminine experience, a fantasy if if there's a if there's a man listening to this. So don't limit yourself. But, you know, do take that and see. Hmm. Okay. I'm a woman. How can I explore more situational or narrative fantasy? Because fantasy is going to improve my sex life. And if you're not having a good experience of desire and lubrication, you definitely need to be self pleasuring and exploring your fantasies. So lastly, the overlap between men and women he found was multiple partners in fantasy fantasizing about multiple partners, soft bondage, anal play, cheating, watching other people having sex, or being a voyeur and having sex in public. So, hmm, I spend some time now and I want you to think about what fantasies turn you on. This is a moment to pause the tape and maybe just spend some time. Sometimes you think you don't have any fantasies, but think back over your life. What are some of the fantasies you've had? What are some, as Tisdale says, the land of the not done and wished for you? What is some of your deeper, deeper yearning and explore that now. So to understand desire, I think we have to understand what we're working with. And a lot of us have this story that says that, Oh, I'm a woman. I have less potential for pleasure than men. You know, I have this tiny little clitoris where I may or may not have an orgasm, but men get to have an orgasm every time. You know, they're better equipped for pleasure than I am. This is so not true. A woman has the same amount of erectile tissue in her vagina as a man has in his penis. We're totally equal. In fact, if the tails if if the scales are going to tip in one direction, it's in the direction of the woman who on average has just a little bit more of this erectile tissue. So this this tissue is the exact same that a man has in his penis is capable of in gorging with blood becoming erect. And it's a whole network. A man has most of his on the outside in his penis and he has some of it on the inside. A woman has a little bit on the outside her clitoris, which has 8000 nerve endings, but she has most of it inside of her wrapped around her vagina and what are called the Chora and the vestibular bulbs. I talk a lot about this in my sexual mastery course, and I have a little bonus to this class that will go into this further. But you have to understand that you are just as wired for pleasure as a man. You have a huge amount of orgasms from your clitoris, from your G-spot, inside your vagina, deeper inside your ace spot we're going to talk about later. You can have cervical orgasms. You can have anal orgasms, nipple orgasms, combinations of all of the above. You have this huge network of tissue that gets filled up with blood and gorged and the longer you have sex, the more engorged it becomes. So again, your clitoris is your erectile network is called your clitoris. So the clitoris that we know of is really just the most the exterior portion of this huge network. So when I talk about the clitoris, I talk about the external clitoris, and the internal clitoris again, wraps around the vagina is this huge network which I explore more in my courses, but you need to know that it's there, that you're going to engorged with blood, with desire. And if you're not experiencing pleasure with sex, it's because you are not properly engorged in this area. So in Daoism, they talk about how this area fills up with blood because it doesn't just fill up with blood like a man's penis and then release it all when it ejaculate. So we actually are you know, women are really complex and we have all of these layers to us. And this shows up in our orgasm. So the three gates of orgasm in Daoism are first the external clitoris, which most of us know. It's the easiest place to have an orgasm. It's kind of our first orgasm, you know, when we're masturbating. That's the first place we have an orgasm with a partner. If he's going to, he or she is going down on us or touching us. We have an external clitoral orgasm and this orgasm prepares us for the next orgasm which is inside the vagina. And the G-spot. So basically, once we have that first orgasm, you might have noticed this in your sex life. Suddenly vaginal penetration feels really, really good. And that's because this first gate has opened up the second gate. So now that you've had your orgasm from, say, oral sex or maybe there has already been penetration, but, you know, not as deep, not as hard, maybe you're on top or, you know, you have it from from manual stimulation. Now you're ready for this deep vaginal orgasm. And then after that orgasm, which, you know, typically a clitoral goes up and down pretty quick. The climax is a vaginal orgasm to go on and on like waves. They, they you sometimes don't even know exactly where they begin and where they end. You can have them over and over and over again multiple orgasms. And once that has has happened, you're more engorged and you can now take really strong pressure deep into the vagina, touching the cervix, and you can have cervical orgasms, which are again, I talk about this more in other courses, but it's even a deeper release of the mind and the body. So these are the three gaits clitoral vaginal and cervical and they are something we need to understand to really experience pleasure and pleasure is a feedback loop for more desire, because once you know how much pleasure you can have, you desire to have it again. And the last thing I want to say about this is just keeping it at a simmer. So in Daoism, they also say that and we all know this to bring cold water to boil takes a long time. But if something's already at a simmer, it gets to a boil pretty fast. So if you're walking around in your life at a simmer where you're you're fantasizing and you're like a sexual being, you've given yourself that permission, you know, it turns you on. You know, it turns you off and how to, you know, navigate that. Then you're walking around at a simmer. And when you go to have sex, you're already going to be juicy and aroused, and sex is just going to be so much more pleasurable. So these are some important things to know about your erectile network in your pelvis and how it relates to desire. So you need to know that the vagina is always lubricated to some extent by what is called vaginal sweating. I know not a very sexy term or lubrication of the vagina that comes from the transference of blood outside of the vagina through the vaginal walls, mucous membranes. So the vagina is lined with a mucous membrane that's just oozing with lubrication. It's. It's slippery and wet in there. And that's coming from the blood outside the vagina. So it makes sense that when aroused, more blood is flowing to this erectile tissue that you now know about and your pelvis, especially wrapped around your vagina, but connects to your, your external clitoris, your your anal nerve, all of that. And when aroused, the blood that flows to this network will create additional lubrication in the vagina. If there's more blood, there's going to be more crossover and when there's, you know, more arousal, the brain is going to get the message to create more lubrication. Additionally, you have two sets of glands that lubricate the vagina at the entrance the Bartholin’s and the Skene's glands, which we're going to look at in the next slide. And lastly, Dr. Comfort and the new Joy of Sex wrote The best sexual lubricant is saliva, which is in ample supply during cunnilingus or when someone goes down on you, gives you oral sex, and you can use your own saliva to put on your partner's penis to, you know, access from your vagina when you're masturbating and touching your external clitoris. So don't forget saliva. And of course, there is always lube and different types of lube that a lot of people enjoy during sex. When I was nursing my daughter those first nine months, those hormones really did impact my vaginal lubrication and I definitely enjoyed using extra lube. I didn't know about the A spot then though, which we're going to talk about in this course. But it is a huge hormonal shift when you're breastfeeding. And I did use lube at one point in my life, but let's dive in and talk about Bartholin’s and Skene's glands. So Bartholin not again a very you know, as part of the female body named after a man. So some people like to call them the vulvo vaginal glands which they are and they're grape size glands located at the bottom of the vaginal opening at, say five o’clock and seven. And they secrete a small amount of fluid during arousal to help maintain healthy vaginal ecology. In addition to lubricating the area, they're actually protecting the area, which is really interesting. In fact, this is another argument for why it's so important for women to be properly aroused when when they're penetrated, when they have sex. Because if we're not if we're not aroused, if we're not releasing fluid lubrication from the Bartholin, the vulvo vaginal glands, we're not actually protecting our vagina. We don't have that lubrication and that's protecting that ecology there. And I know a lot of women who have issues around sexual desire and fantasy and how they are as sexual beings. It relates to constant UTIs and, you know, bacterial vaginosis, the bacteria being off in the vagina and the urethra. So it's really important that we develop who we are as sexual beings to have, you know, healthy bodies while we when we have sex. Okay. The second gland I want to talk about are the Skene's glands are what are known as the para urethral glands. So these are composed of a huge amount of these tiny tubules which are enmeshed in the erectile tissue. What we just talked about, the part that surrounds and protects the urethra. So it contains around 30 of these openings, these docks along the length of the urethra, as well as two main docks at the actual orifice. The opening of the urethra. And these are the source of female ejaculate? Yes, women ejaculate. I talk about this a lot in some of my other courses in our Veda. It's called the Nectar of Life. It's a clear watery fluid that can come out as a trickle, a small gash or huge explosion. And some women say they completely wet the bed and it's via the urethra during orgasm or during high level arousal. And I've actually heard post-menopausal women say that they have an easier time ejaculating, even without orgasm, just with penetration and, you know, it's ejaculate because it doesn't have that urine smell. It doesn't have uric acid in it, it's clear watery, it's even sweet and some women, you know, I personally feel it with G-spot stimulation when I push back against what has what is penetrating me and it releases out the urethra and it's a real it's not necessarily a super high pleasure feeling, but it's a release feeling and it can be connected with a kind of deep like primitive pleasure and this fluid that this basically the way it was described to me and this really resonated with me. It's sort of like breast milk. It's always there because it gets pulled. It's basically a fluid that gets created from the milk, from the blood through these particular glands that are able to turn blood into milk. Well, this is able to turn blood into ejaculate that comes out the urethra, which could also play a role in protecting the ecology there, or it can be redirected through the via the vagina walls. So there's the urethra in front of the vagina so it can go forward or it can go backward through the vaginal walls as lubrication from deep anterior vaginal penetration. Okay. So we're going to talk about the a spot here. So if we stimulate deep in the vaginal wall, the front wall, the interior wall, there's something called the a spot. It's also called the interior for an X erogenous or the AC. It can produce intense sexual pleasure and rapid lubrication. So this area is, again, the deepest part of the vagina, the front wall, right where it starts to curve upwards beyond the G spot and just above the cervix, because the cervix sort of dips down. And this this zone is attributed to this Malaysian sex scientist, Dr. Chu Anne, who did research on subjects suffering from vaginal dryness and found that stimulation of this area deep in the interior wall of the vagina resulted in this rapid lubrication by redirecting the female ejaculatory fluid and turning it into lubrication. So the technique is really simple. You can start doing it now. And my personal theory is that, you know, this area doesn't get stimulated. We're not opening up the three gates and basically it just hardens with time. So, you know, emotions get stored in that hole, erectile network in our whole pelvis. We get tightness in there just just from an emotional consciousness level, but additionally from not being penetrated correctly, not having, you know, our partners not making love to us while not stimulating the area, our self, childbirth, all of these things kind of harden and dry up the area and we need to wake it back up again. So the technique that he developed is just stroking and applying pressure to this spongy area and the deepest point of the vagina until lubrication comes out and you can move your finger in and out. So you're also contacting the G-spot. And, you know, lots of women have not only experienced greater lubrication, but more consistent arousal. So again, it gets them back to that similar place. Or, you know, once you start working with the vaginal walls, you can very quickly go to the second gate of orgasm. You have your clitoral orgasm. And sometimes even before that, you're already experiencing a lot of pleasure, pleasure with penetration, which is how we're designed to be. We're not designed to just have a penis in us and sort of tolerate it. Come on. No. So stimulate he found stimulating this area for 5 to 10 minutes each day for at least a week would create this instant sexual arousal and lubrication, even if moments before you were feeling stress, boredom, having relationship problems, etc., without foreplay. And I have to speak to this. I haven't done this technique, but through my sexual experiences I have found this. I can go to instant arousal and lubrication from literally moments before feeling stressed, bored, you know, having relationship problems. It's true. And I live at a sexual summer, but I also am extremely responsive and sensitive because I've cleared out the things that block me from my own sensitivity, my own pleasure. So your clitoris has been growing throughout your lifetime. When puberty began. Your clitoris started increasing in size due to these hormonal changes that turn you from a child into an adult woman. And by the time puberty has ended, your clitoris is 1.8 times larger. By the time a woman is 32. The clitoris will be almost four times as big as the onset of puberty. And after menopause, the clitoris is seven times larger than it was at birth. Seven times larger than birth. This means more erectile tissue inside and outside. Your sex is just going to get better and better and better for you. So post menopause sex. If you're post-menopausal, this should equal the best sex you've ever had. I mean, you have the you have the the mechanism for it. You have the the anatomy for it. So now it's up to you to discover your desire, discover your fantasies. Give yourself self-pleasure, work on your vaginal walls, release your a spot, and start enjoying the sex that you were designed for. It's your birthright and your sexual being. And now is the time to to really discover your sexual self to a greater degree than you ever thought possible. So enjoy. Ladies, thank you so much for joining me with this course and sending you lots of love. Bye bye.