Yoni Massage: What’s in it for Men?

yoni massage men
Written by Beducated Magazine

The fact that Yoni Massage is rather awesome isn’t a secret. Especially if you’re following this site, then you will know quite a bit about the tremendous effects that it can have. In fact, I can state that this website would not exist if there had not been the empowering practice of how to receive and give Tantric Yoni Massage.

Still, when talking about it, it’s often focused on the receiver. On the “Yoni owner”. But it does a whole lot of things to the giver as well. In fact, I would say that its effects are divided pretty equally between the receiver and the giver. Especially if you are a couple who is sharing this journey, and integrating it into your relationship.

I’d like to share my personal experiences, as well as what Tantra has to say on that topic. Keep in mind that I’m a man, actively working with the topics surrounding masculinity. Of course, the giver can also be female or intersex, but due to my lack of experience with that physiology, I have chosen to speak from my point of view. But I’m sure everyone can get something out of this article, if they approach it with an open mind.

So, what can men get when they give Yoni Massage?

Improving and deepening the connection to your partner

If you think that’s a lame reason, skip this section. But especially in long-term relationships, the lack of connection can be a huge issue.

If you decide to go down the path of juicy personal growth as a couple, and actively work on your sexuality, that’s rarely an issue anymore.

Practicing Yoni Massage gives you a (slightly) ritualistic framework. A date that you have to schedule. Intimate quality time. And a discourse about what everyone likes and desires. Plus, with a bit of practice, you help your partner with releasing intense emotions. She might cry, you might as well. You hug, you kiss, and you are grateful for being with each other.

With that in mind, it’s pretty clear that a deepened connection isn’t just some collateral woo woo side effect, but a reproducible outcome of regular Yoni Massage practice.

Superior knowledge about what drives her

Men who give Yoni Massages are better lovers – full stop.

It doesn’t matter if you have one long-term partner, many changing partners, or a relationship setup somewhere in between. When giving Yoni Massages you will know your partner’s pleasure points by heart. You learn where the tensions are and how to release them. And that knowledge can not only be utilized by your fingers, but you can literally make love to her better.

And that’s one of the points that seem receiver-focused at first: Isn’t that primarily good for her?

But let’s be honest guys. Nothing boosts our confidence more than being a superior lover. And the kind of moan that a partner will respond with to your first touches, can make your day!

Benchmarking (and boosting) your masculinity

giving-yoni-massage-masculinityI have to admit that there are times when I’m just not able to give Yoni Massage to Mariah. Times when I’m not super aligned with my purpose and vision. And I found it pretty interesting discovering the connection between a disturbing force in my masculinity, and the effects of giving Yoni Massages. So why’s that?

To give Yoni Massage requires tremendous masculine qualities. It’s about holding the space, being present, being the pillar. Which pillar? The masculine pillar, around which the feminine energy dances. The one that stands still and vertical, while the feminine tries to seduce with her chaos. At least that’s how Tantra likes to describe masculine and feminine. And in this case, it fits like a charm.

The man sits upright, present, and does the magic with his fingers. The woman lies down, shakes, cries, screams. The man observes and spreads his love (and orgasms).

While it’s a pretty fascinating role to play, you’ll recognize that some days you’re better at it than on others. So Yoni Massages are a good benchmark for where you’re at in your masculinity. And probably even better: Yoni Massages train you to actively go into that masculine state.

Give Yoni Massage unconditionaly

A major point of giving a Yoni Massage within a relationship is its unconditionalness. It’s crucial that it’s not an exchange of sexual services. It’s crucial that you don’t aim at ending the experience with self-satisfying penetration.

Why’s that?

Because it shifts something in the receiver’s mindset. She’s only supposed to receive. There’s nothing that she has to do in return. This has a major impact on all the empowering aspects of Yoni Massage. It gives her this goddess feeling, that women long for.

So no takeaway for the men here?

Well, how well oiled is your unconditional giving engine? It’s certainly worth practicing for most of us. Plus, as we know, giving is the ultimate satisfaction. Opposite to primal thoughts, not receiving, nor pizza, but giving turns out to be one of the most satisfying things we can do.

Improving perception of subtle energies

lasting-longer-chakrasIf your hands are still not covered with virgin coconut oil yet, let me dive into the last point I want to shed light on today. At the same time it’s the most esoteric one.

We men tend to be, well, a little more physical than many women. Perception wise I mean.  At least I am the kind of guy that used to not feel anything during meditation, fasting, headstands, pranayama, or most of the things I tried.

Now I am not following that up with a claim that giving Yoni Massages changed all that in a revolutionary way. I guess I’m still on the dull side of perceiving “energies”. But it does play its role in the potpourri of techniques that I’m practicing, that add to my perception in a beneficial way.

How come?

When doing it for a while, you’ll notice without a doubt that the practice goes deeper than the physical body. Most obviously you (or your partner) will notice that emotional aspects play a role. Your partner might even report that she feels spaced out during and after a session. Good on ya if that’s the case.

Sexual sensation has a very strong connection to the “deeper bodies”, as the Yogis call it. It’s no accident that there is a strong correlation between orgasm and spiritual ecstasy. It’s no accident that we crave orgasms. And it’s no coincidence that the sensations felt during orgasm are not only describable with physical reactions.

So in a good session, your receiver can have certain energetic experiences. And you can be part of them when you give Yoni Massage. If you wish, and if you develop the required perception, by focusing on it.

And you can not only be part of the energetic experiences, you can also initiate and control them. Even if your perception isn’t the sharpest one out there.

Try it! As you can imagine, there is not much in the way of bullet-proof scientific research on this aspect. But pretty much every man who has given more than 25 Yoni Massages can confirm that there’s something to it. Even if it’s very subjective and intangible. Fascinating though!


I hope sharing some of my experiences, bundled with Tantric knowledge, has got you hooked on how to give Yoni Massage. The focus on pleasure certainly isn’t upon us during this practice, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have any effects. Au contraire!

It is most obviously beneficial for the receiver. You can make a tremendous change in their lives. Especially if you dedicate some time to becoming good at it.

And I hope I have shown you that it is also useful for the giver. From obvious to subtle – there are results for everyone.

What a great journey to go on with your partner(s).

If you want to learn more, sign up below to get Mariah’s free ebook on Yoni Massage.

About the author

Beducated Magazine

Beducated is your academy for Conscious Sexuality and Relationships.

We publish impactful online courses to help people becoming their best selves in terms of sexy time, self-love and relationships. For soulful lovers, open-minded individuals and seekers of a joyful sex life.

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