Mental Health Online Course:
5 Tantric Keys for Your Wellbeing

Hi, everyone, welcome to Five Tantric Keys To Achieving Mental Health. What I really wanna do in this video series is support you in finding alternatives to medication, to addiction, to avoidance, when mental health issues are rising. So you may be listening because you're on medication or because you deal with a lot of stress, addiction, anxiety and depression. And really, I wanna first of all say that it's okay, it's okay to be having a human experience that's difficult. So many times in our society and our culture, there is a lot of judgment around any human experience. That's not joy, that's not ecstasy, that's not bliss, that's not okay. And really, the reason why mental illness or mental struggles occur in the first place, is because we're told oh, no, no, no, you're okay, when really we're not. Or we're told in some shape or form that it's not valid to have challenging experiences. So basically, this creates trauma. So when we're growing up, and we're feeling very upset, we're feeling in shock, we're feeling depressed, we're feeling a space of not being able to keep going, and someone's telling us that we're okay, that's taking our power away, that's traumatizing us. And the worst thing in our culture, and in the whole mental health industry is that nobody actually says, it's okay to fall apart, what you need is rest, what you need is to open to your experience and fully be with it. What you need is support in realizing that actually, this too shall pass. So when there has been issues in people's lives, like big breakups, or a car accident, or the death of a loved one, they'll often come to see me for support. And we can deal with these issues through the body, we can help the person to really feel what they're feeling, accept what they're feeling and I'm gonna go more into that, and shake the shock out of their bodies, allow the fight or flight response to run through their bodies, and to really come to a place of recalibration where they're moving from sympathetic, a very stressed state to parasympathetic, rest and digest. However, I've also had clients who come to me long after the breakup, or the accident, or the death or something traumatic, that's happened, and they've already been put on medication. Now, this is the area where I get really, really frustrated. Because if someone walks into a doctor's clinic, and they prescribe medication, because they've just had a car accident, to me, that is actually ridiculous. What they need to be told is, it's fair enough that you feel anxious, it's fair enough that you're finding struggle with this, it's fair enough that your body's in a state of shock, what you need is to shake, what you need is to open to experience, what you may need is some somatic experiencing, like body based experiencing where someone holds you and your body is touched in a way that you can release all the tension that's accumulated. And that's not happening. Doctors aren't saying this to people. And to me, it's just crazy, of course, if you break up with someone, of course, if someone dies, of course, if you lose your job, and you don't know if you're gonna be out on the street, of course, you're gonna feel a lot of stress in the body, you may feel depressed, which is just emotions that are difficult to feel so we repress them, right? That's what depression is. That's why people who are depressed, they sleep a lot because they're baring their emotions, which is fucking tiring, holding all of that emotion down, and they're exhausted. And really all of these energies, people don't know what to do with them, because we're not taught what to do with them. And medication is the bandaid solution to a problem. So are addictions right? That if we actually address the problem in the first place, which is the trauma underneath the medication or underneath the addiction, then people could actually heal and achieve mental wellness. So let me speak more into that. A lot of times people come to me and they say to me, oh, I have this addiction that I can't get rid of. I'm smoking every day, I'm drinking every day, I'm smoking pot every day, I can't get off pornography, I can't get off social media, whatever the addiction is. And they're trying to deal with that addiction, they're trying to stop the addiction. First comment there is what we resist persists. And as soon as we tell ourselves, we're not allowed to do something, it only makes us wanna do it more. So if you're trying to quit something, it can be very difficult, you know that willful part of us ends up rearing ahead, and we're just like, ah, or, you know, emotional eating is another addiction, and we end up binging or we end up buying a packet of cigarettes, or going to buy alcohol, you know, we've all been there. And really the easiest way, the simplest way, the most profound way to deal with addiction is to ask the question, what's the problem that created the addiction in the first place? The addiction is not the problem. I'll say it again, right. And we can say the same thing for medication. Not that it's not the problem, but it's not the solution. What the solution is, is dealing with the original problem. So before addictions set in, before you couldn't get off social media, before you couldn't stop drinking, or before you went to the doctor, and you're prescribed antidepressants, or anti anxiety, what was happening, right? There was some traumas that happened one or maybe several, where you just kept feeling all of these triggers in your body, where you were feeling these hardships, and you didn't know what to do with them. So you decided to drink them away, or eat them away, or smoke them away, or medicate them away. What if you didn't do any of that? What if you actually felt them? And how do we do that, right? So the alternative to addictions, which are an avoidance of the emotional body, which are split off from the emotional body, the alternative to medication, which numbs the emotional body, and so do addictions is to actually open to the human experience. And when we open to the human experience, sometimes we can't function as well as we can usually function. And guess what you may need to rest, you may need to take some time to heal, you may need to rewire the belief that tells you that your whole identity is based on what you're achieving. And you may have to actually look at the things in your life that have taken your power away. Because a lot of the time mental illness, or when we're struggling mentally, and it's challenging, we've lost our dignity, we've lost our self respect, we've lost our sense of self worth, because we've got the message that what we're experiencing is not okay, we've got the message that unless we're achieving, unless we're ticking off the goals, unless we're doing what our parents wanted us to do, unless we're fulfilling the expectations of society, that we're not good enough. And you know, this starts from early childhood. As soon as you're told that you're okay, when you're not, as soon as when you get angry, you're told not to be angry, and you're told to go to your room, when you're angry. Or when you're sad, if you're given a you know, if you're given a treat, or you're distracted from your sadness, that's all of those things are taking your power away. All of those things are taking away your sense of self worth. And you end up believing that your worth is dependent upon how happy you are. Your worth is dependent upon how well you're doing, how okay you are, you know what, if you're not okay, that is okay. It's okay to not be okay. You don't have to be fucking okay all the time. This world, this human experience is light and it's dark. There is a space of pain and pleasure, always flowing through our existence. And if we were told that growing up, someone just said to us, our parents, a friend, the education system said, yeah, fair enough you're upset. You know, I've got a good example of this. I was taking my child to daycare, family daycare for the first time when I got a job, and it was so heartbreaking. And I was dropping him off every day. And he was getting really distressed and I kept trying to make him okay. I was like, oh, you're gonna be okay, she's lovely, and it would just distress him even more. And I had a tantrum mentor at the time and he was staying with me and I said to him, you know, I don't know what to do. And he just looked at me and he said, Chantelle, all you need to do is say to him, fair enough, that you're feeling that way. It's okay to feel upset. And wow, so he'd been crying every day that I dropped him off at daycare for two weeks, I thought I'd have to quit my job. And I really needed to work because my husband wasn't working at the time. I was extremely distressed, I didn't know what to do. There was this inner conflict happening inside of me. And what that inner conflict was, was this space of me thinking that he needs to be okay. So we not only do this to ourselves, we do this to our children. And that's because it was done to us as children. And it's this ongoing, perpetual cycle. So the most incredible thing happened, I dropped him off, he was crying, and I just held him. And I said, yeah, I feel you, fair enough, you're upset. And I kissed him. And he just sniffled. And he went in, the next day I did the same thing. And after that he wasn't upset anymore. All we need to do is be seen in our upset, we don't need to be fixed. Stop trying to fix yourself and stop trying to fix your children and stop trying to fix others. You know what, when you stop trying, that's when you start to feel mentally healthy. And I know it sounds weird, hey, you know, don't, we have to try to be better? Don't we have to try to be perfect? Don't we have to try to make sure that you know, we're okay, so that other people are okay? No, when we stop trying, and we can actually just be with what is, that's when the most magic happens. And I'm sure you've experienced this in your relationships, where you're feeling upset, you're feeling sad, you're feeling angry, and you just wanna have a vent, or you wanna have a cry. And this happens in relationships with our beloveds, also happens with our parents, as I've been saying, and with friends. And people jump in to fix you because they can't be with their own pain. They also can't be with your pain. So they come up with solutions, and they're going, oh, maybe this or that. Or they jump in and try to give you a different perspective too early, rather than just allowing you to have your upset, like, what would it feel like to not have the agenda to fix yourself, or to fix someone when they're upset? You know, think about what you need, when you're sad. Think about what you need, when you're angry. Think about what you need when you're afraid. So for me, when I'm sad, I just need to cry, I need to be held, I need touch. In that moment of extreme sadness, you know, later, I might be open to reflections and solutions. But what I deeply need and deeply long for in moments of sadness, is for someone to just put their arms around me, maybe to caress me gently to not tell me that it's gonna be okay, to just say, I hear you, I feel you. And I'm very blessed to have a partner who does that. And it's so beautiful. When I'm angry, what I need is some space to beat a pillow or to just like, yeah, have a vent. It's not healthy to vent at someone although sometimes, you know, when you really want to, you could ask permission for that. You could say look, can I just vent and you hold space? I'm irrational right now, but can you can you hold space for that? Or, you know, I'm angry, I'm pissed off, I just need an hour or two. And in that hour or two, yeah, maybe you wanna beat pillows, maybe you wanna go for a run, maybe you wanna box, maybe you wanna kick box, whatever it is to discharge that energy. Because when emotions hit, it's like, in that time, you don't need to be fixed, and you don't need to find a solution. You just need to discharge that energy because every time that energy is undischarged you're pushing it down. You're holding it and then anxiety rises, depression happens. And you start to feel like sleeping or you start to feel like that drink, you start to feel like that joint. What would happen if you actually let yourself cry? If you let yourself fall apart? If you let yourself rage and go and fucking you know, box something or kick the shit out of something or go for a big run. So fear you know, when I'm afraid what I need to do is just shake or curl up and just, you know, sway my body. So there's a naturalness to emotions that children know very well. You know, children throw a tantrum because they're discharging that energy of not getting what they want. Children throw things or you know, hit pillows very naturally because there's energy and children follow the naturalness of that energy. When they're sad, they cry, and they ask for a hug. And that naturalness of a child's inner wisdom gets broken at such an early age. That inner wisdom, that inner compass that knows exactly what to do with our emotions, is switched off. And this is the problem that we're facing with mental health. The problem that we're facing is that we are told not to feel, we are told not to vibrate our emotional body. We are not attuned to, we're not asked what we need. So right now, I want you to put one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly, take a deep breath into your body. And emotions are like seasons, there's four basic emotions, anger, grief, fear, and frustration. So first of all, feel into your grief, feel into your sadness? What are you grieving? What are you sad about? Are you trying to find a solution to that? Is someone else trying to fix you? Are you trying to fix you? Were you able to go, yeah, I'm sad. Feel into why you might be sad. Maybe you're apart from someone you love. Maybe there's been a difficult breakup or a death. Maybe you don't even know why you're sad. Maybe you're lonely, maybe your longing for a relationship and that longing carries with it a grief and sadness. It's fair enough. It's okay, it's valid. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to grieve. Breathe into that on the in breath, receive that grief into your heart. Instead of rejecting it or trying to fix. And on the out breath maybe just let out a soft sound it might even feel like your inner child. I see you, I feel you little one. It's okay to feel sad, that's fair enough. And now inquire what does that sadness need? So now that I'm in touch with my sadness, what it needs is a hug because as I said to you, when I'm sad, I need a hug. If there's no one to hug me, I just give myself a hug. Opening the eyes, and eventually that sadness passes, we don't need to fix anything. We just need to turn our attention towards that which we've been taught to avoid. That is what creates mental health, surrendering into the body, surrendering to what's alive, being present with what is, becoming openness, becoming openness to whatever is alive in the human experience. And the more we do this, the more we grow in our capacity to be with sensation and experience. What I'd really love you to do, and take a moment to write this down either on your phone or on a piece of paper is that when you finish this course I want you to write down, When I feel angry, that's fair enough. When I feel angry, this is what I need. And what that will provide me with is safety or rest or whatever it is and I want you to go through those main emotions, anger, sadness and you know, sadness has the flavor of grief and longing with it, fear and frustration. When you know what you need, not only can you give that to yourself, but you can also ask that of others and give that to others. The more deeply you can start to attune to yourself and be with yourself, and not try to fix yourself, then what a gift you can give to other people, you can just allow them to be where they are. And that's not to say that sometimes we don't give people reflections or different perspectives, or help them find solutions. All of that is beautiful, but also just validate their experience and let them feel. And before you go into that, ask them are you open to reflection right now? Do you wanna workshop some solutions together? And you know, my partner and I do that often with one another. And sometimes we'll say to each other, no, you know, I need some more time, I'll let you know when I'm open. Or we say yeah, we're open to that now. And it's this really beautiful gift. And, you know, one of the things that happens in relationships is that we become so invested in our partner becoming okay. Because when they're not okay, we don't feel okay. Because when they're feeling pain, we feel uncomfortable with our own pain, and that gets triggered by their pain. So, you know, all of life is this vicious cycle of avoiding pain. You know, even finding a spiritual teacher, even finding a partner, it's like if I find a partner, if I find the right spiritual teacher, I'm not gonna have to feel my pain. And so now we go into the next key. (gentle instrumental music) (gentle music) - And so now we go into the next key and the next key is really to stop searching outside of yourself for the answers to your pain. You are not going to find the answers to your pain. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. When we allow our pain, we don't have to suffer. We feel our pain, we know that it's in the flow of life and it passes and we flow on to the next thing. The suffering is in the resistance. (loud gasp) "I'm feeling pain, oh no, this must be the wrong relationship. This must be the wrong spiritual teacher." You know, there's a honeymoon period in relationships and in spirituality for a reason. I see people coming to tantra and they're all excited at the start, and same with relationships, "Oh my God, I found the one." And there's the absence of wanting for a moment. We found something that's the cure. "Oh my God." And whenever we're in something new, there's this big oxytocin release. We're feeling the euphoria of this new relationship and the relationship with the spiritual teacher, it can be really euphoric. And of course the relationship with the beloved is extremely euphoric, but the truth about relationships, the truth about spirituality, is that none of them are gonna save you from your pain. And what I see a lot of is people breaking up way too soon, not having that commitment to really see relationships as a teacher and going through the difficult times to really become conscious of what would otherwise be unconscious and learn from that. And same with spirituality. It's like you can only be in a spiritual tradition for so long before your shit comes up. And the question is, when your shit comes up, how are you dealing with that? Because most of us, when our shit comes up, the way that we're dealing with that is to run away from that, through addictions, through breaking up. And really, we don't need to break up with anyone. We just need to break up with our own story and with our own bullshit. And what that bullshit is, is that it's not okay to feel pain. That's part of the bullshit. The other bullshit is, that it's someone else's fault that we're feeling that way. So there is a victimhood and a story that surrounds a lot of our pain. And that story and that victimhood create suffering. But if we can just feel the pain without the story, then that's where the evolution of your mental health really happens. So how do we do that? The way that we do that is that when you're very triggered, when your trauma is coming up, you need to take a pause. Yeah? When you're in the field of spirituality and everything is getting very dark, you need to take a pause and you need to watch the story that's running. "Ah, this spiritual teacher is bad. This tradition is bad." And you know what a lot of people do at that point is they try something else. What I see a lot of in the spiritual world is, "oh, I'm gonna try tantra. I'm gonna try kinesiology. I'm gonna try hypnotherapy. I'm gonna try ayahuasca. I'm gonna try hypnotherapy. I'm gonna try EFT." And they just kept jumping from one thing to the next. Same with relationships. "You know what? I don't want any drama in relationship. This relationship isn't for me. I'm gonna go to the next relationship." Or, "You know what? This is all a bit too hard, I don't think I can do relationship. I need to be single." Or, "You know what? Monogamy it's just, it's too intense, I need to be polyamorous and have lots of relationships." Whatever your solution is, it's not the real solution because the real problem is that you don't know how to be with your pain. And that's not to say that we never break up. That's not to say that we never leave a spiritual teacher or that we never leave a job. Of course, there are times when things hit an expiry date. Certain aspects of life have a season and a reason, but why are you leaving? Are you leaving because you're in a flight response? When we're stressed, when there's a trigger, when our trauma is coming up, we go from parasympathetic, which is a relaxed state, when we can be social, we can fully function, we're feeling relaxed, to a sympathetic state where the breath moves from belly to chest. (loud gasp) We become very stressed and we have to fight someone. We have to send a vicious text. Or we have to run a mile. Or if the fight or flight response is really strong and we don't know what the fuck to do with it, we go into freeze and then we just can't move. So what's the alternative? What's the alternative to just running away from things that bring up your pain? Running from people that bring up your pain? What's the alternative to fighting people and things that bring up your pain? The alternative is to pause when we're feeling that stress. (loud inhalation) (loud sigh) Breathe yourself back into your body. So I wanna teach you how to do that. Meditation has become this popular practice, and it's popular because it works, that people start to enforce upon themselves. "Oh, I have to meditate. I have to do this amount of meditation." Side note, life becomes a meditation eventually, but for now, when meditation is new, it's not something to be enforced it's something to enjoyed. It's something to be a amazing, amazing tool that you have available to you, that lives in your body for the moments that you don't know what the fuck to do other than run or fight. So here we are, we're in a stress response. We wanna run. We wanna fight. We have to be conscious. We have to go, "I really wanna do that." That's the first step. But instead, I'm gonna choose to pause. And you know, I still have to fucking choose it. You know, sometimes I'm just like, (loud inhalation) (frustrated growling) "Oh, I choose this." You know, it's like, (giggle) I have to bring all my willpower into that choice to come back to my body, to pause, to breathe, so we've made that choice. Okay, so now closing eyes again, we've made that choice (loud inhalation) (loud sigh) Placing one hand on the heart, one hand on the belly really supports me, maybe for you it's just two hands on the belly. And what is meditation? Meditation is a space of bringing your awareness to the breath first and foremost, which is bringing masculine in relationship to the feminine and you're calming down. So you're gonna, first of all, breathe deeply into the belly. So if you're just meditating and it's not from a stress response, you can just breathe normally from the outset usually, or some people are in a permanent stress response. So maybe you need to do the deep breathing. But if you're in a stress response, for sure, you wanna inhale for four counts, feel the belly rising on your hand, pause for four counts and release for four counts and pause for four counts. And just keep doing that for now. Inhaling for four counts, feeling the belly expand like a balloon, pushing your hand out, feeling that pause, exhaling out. And you can use sound to support you if you like. (loud sigh) I'm pausing for four counts. So I'll let you just keep going with that breath, and you're calming your body down and just go to a normal breath whenever it feels comfortable. And I'm gonna take you to the next key to achieving mental health, which is meditation. (gentle music) (tranquil music) - And I'm gonna take you to the next key to achieving mental health, which is meditation. Where the thoughts are there that we want to run; the thoughts are there that this is someone's fault; the thoughts are there that we're not okay; the thoughts are there that we want that drink, that smoke, that we're gonna scroll social media. We just watch those thoughts. And we take those thoughts into the body. We breathe with compassion. Now, tantric meditation is different to just sitting in stillness. Just sitting in stillness is okay. Do that as much as you like. But tantric meditation is not just open to stillness. Tantric meditation is also open to movement so that in those times of distress or in those times of sitting to meditate, if there's a lot of energy in the body, actually what tantra says is that breath, sound, and movement can work together to discharge the tension. (exhales) So right now, wherever you are and you might feel a little bit weird, it's okay to be weird. If you keep doing the same thing you've always done, you're gonna keep getting the same results. Change requires you to get out of your comfort zone. And if you're going from mental illness or mental distress, pressure and anxiety to health, you're gonna have to feel some pain. You know, between wherever you are now and where you want to be, you've got to stretch out of your comfort zone, and when we stretch out of our comfort zone it fucking hurts. So be prepared to feel some pain. It's okay. It's okay. I used to resist it terribly and now I welcome it. I even enjoy it. There's a silent joy with my pain because I know how much it has to show me now. I know how much better I feel when I just allow it. So right now, just give some breath, sound, and movement to your pain. (Chantelle inhales deeply) (Chantelle moaning) (Chantelle inhales deeply) (Chantelle groaning) Keep breathing nice and deeply. (exhales) Shake the body. Feel whatever sensation and experience is showing up inside of you. (Chantelle moaning) Just breathe into sensation, breathe into experience, and allow movement and sound and breath to go into that experience and sensation. And you know what? Until you can feel your pain, you can't fully feel your pleasure. You know, it's all relative. The degree to which you can feel your pain is the degree to which you can feel your pleasure, and vice versa, because pleasure is all about really breathing into sensation and allowing it. Yeah? And discharging pain is the same thing. So go ahead, breathe into sensation in the body. (Chantelle inhales deeply) (Chantelle moaning) Give it sound, give it move. And if you feel great, or if you're telling yourself you feel great, let yourself move with bliss and ecstasy. I'm actually feeling pretty good after just releasing a little bit of the tension that was in my body so... (breathes deeply) Then more pain might come. (breathes deeply) More bliss might come. Give yourself some touch. Give yourself a bit of a massage. What was your body needing? What's it like to turn towards your pain instead of away from it? What's it like to bring the focus inward instead of outward? (Chantelle inhales deeply) (Chantelle moans) Then just coming into stillness. Notice the breath going in and out of your belly. Your belly rises on the inhalation, falls on the exhalation. A lot of anxiety, a lot of angst can be vastly improved just with breathing correctly. Correct diaphragmatic breathing. The way a baby breathes, As you breathe in, let the belly rise. As you breathe out, let it fall to the spine. (tranquil music) Just rest with the breath. (tranquil music) Thoughts will come and go. Just watch them. Don't follow them. And if you do follow them, compassionately bring your attention back to the breath. So what is meditation? Keep breathing just as I talk. Keep your eyes closed. Step one, take your attention away from the external, into the internal. If you're deeply triggered, breathe deeply to calm yourself down. Step two, bring all of your awareness to the breath. Feel the rise and fall of your belly. Feel the breath flowing in and out of your nose. Step three, if you go to follow your thoughts, compassionately return to the breath. Step four, give whatever sensation or experiences arising in you sound and movement. Sometimes that will be just slight. Sometimes it would have been more full, depending on whether there's been a strong trigger or not. Or even if there hasn't been, sometimes we'd just become aware in meditation of what was there that we weren't feeling. And we don't try to get rid of it. We just fully allow it whatever experience and sensation is showing up. (Chantelle breathing deeply) And the final step is to just be completely present. Loving what is whatever you're feeling in any particular moment or in any particular day is okay. Pain and pleasure is always in the flow of life. If you're horny, if you're blissful, if you're full of gratitude, if you're happy, that's okay. If you're in your deep longing grave, rage, frustration, fear, that's okay. All of the human experience is okay. And at the end of your meditation, you can ask the question, what do I need? And if there's been a situation where you've been really triggered, maybe there's a conversation that needs to be had. Not from a place of charge, but from a place of, "Hey, I'm really sad. I need some time with you or I need to talk about something. And that would provide me with safety. That would provide me with ease." How different is that than speaking from a charged place. You want mental health, start to communicate from an uncharged place instead of re-traumatizing your body in conflict. Maybe you don't need something that involves anyone else. Now I find that sometimes I just need rest because I have a tendency to overdo it and overwork. Maybe I just need some playtime. Maybe I need to go outside. Maybe I need a nice bath. Maybe I need to snuggle into bed with a book. Or if it's just my meditation morning practice, I just need to get on with my day with gratitude. So something beautiful at the end of a meditation is to feel into what we're grateful for and great gratitude really supports mental health. So this takes me to the next key to mental health, which is gratitude and forgiveness. (tranquil music) (hopeful ethereal music) - This leads me to the fourth tantric cane, achieving mental health and that's gratitude. Gratitude sounds really simple and maybe even a bit fluffy, but it is probably the most simple, profound tool that you have available to you. What happens is whenever we focus on growth. So right now, let's do an experiment. Close the eyes and focus on all of the things that you don't like about yourself. Focus on all of the things that you think are going wrong in your life. Notice how you feel in your body when you focus on everything you don't like, basically, and everything that you wish was different. Feel all of that on the left side of your body, all the things you don't like, all the things that you wish were different, all the things that you beat up on yourself for. Bring your attention to those now and feel the impact on the left side of your body. Now, feeling to the things that you do like or that you have to be grateful for. Maybe there's not a lot, maybe it's that you have a roof over your head. That the people you love are healthy. That your body is healthy. Maybe it's just one of those things. Or maybe there's a lot more to be grateful for than you usually think about. What do you like about life? This wealth. What do you like about yourself? What's going right in your life? Focus on these things and feel what happens in the right side of your body. Breathe all that pleasure and joy and gratitude. Maybe even smile. Smiling in itself can change your whole vibration. Now just focus on gratitude, your whole body. Let go of all of the negative thoughts, let go of all the energy put into what you don't like and what you wish would change. Just breathe into your body (breathing deeply) everything that you're grateful for. As you do that, if there is any pain there, sadness, grief, just let it be there and keep focusing on what you're grateful for. It's okay to be grateful and joyful at the same time as there being an under-current or even over-current of pain. Now see if you can actually be with both the light and the dark at the same time. So part of really being in an energy of gratitude is that no matter what is happening around you, you're able to put your attention on what you're grateful for and on the light, right? Even when there's dark. So I'm going to invite you to one of the most simple, but life-changing meditations I was introduced to in my 20s, it's an Osho meditation and it's called the golden flower meditation. It's very simple. So close your eyes again and just imagine that at the top of your head, there's this beautiful golden sun. (ethereal music) You're breathing the light of the sun into the top of your head down your body deep, deep down. Inhale down your body, all the way down and out your toes, but still on the inhalation. And then exhale and imagine the darkest energy you can conceive like the black night sky or a black dark river up your body. (Chantelle breathing deeply) Out your head. So you're gonna breathe in that beautiful golden light and really breathe slowly, so you can visualize that golden light coming down your body and out your toes. A flood of light caressing your hollow being. Imagined that your hollow and lights just flooding through you and out your toes. And then you're gonna breathe out. (exhales deeply) Darkness is dark as a river. Up your body. Out at the top of your head. We'll just do one more time. So that light you're breathing in is the masculine principle. Clearing, rounding bring that light through. Imagine that you're hollow and that light's coming through you. And then breathing out. You're breathing darkness up through your toes. This is the feminine energy, yin. Shivels in the yin and yang symbol. Breathing out. Soothing you, calming you, making you receptive. Let's go one more time. I enjoy this meditation so much. Breathing in that golden light. Imagine that you're hallow. Breathing slowly, let that light slowly down your body as you're breathing in. Clearing you, nurturing you, warming your body. The yang energy of the masculine. At the toes. And then breathing out. Dark as the night sky or as dark as the darkest thing you can conceive. Hold that darkness soothing you, comforting you, moving through your hollow body. And up of top of your head. (Chantelle breathing deeply) So that was probably about, I don't know, one minute that we did that for. I feel so much more energized and I like to do this every morning and every night. It really helps me to just feel that equanimity, the equilibrium between light and dark, between masculine and feminine. If you wanna go more into light and dark, masculine and feminine, our online courses go in depth, especially Ignite Your Power. So Ignite Your Power is an eight week journey into really allowing these dark energies that are harder to feel and feeling how amazing they are when we just allow them. You'll learn how to have better boundaries, to ask for what you need, to really move the energy, shake the energy, deal with trauma. It's an incredible course. This meditation is the beginning of igniting your power. Everything we're talking about in this course, it's about claiming your power back. It's about saying, hey, I am worthy. I am worthy of feeling all of the human experience because I'm human, right? We can't say I'm human, I'm just gonna cut out half of the human experience. There is darkness in this world. There is darkness inside you and darkness is okay. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just the divided mind that makes darkness right and light wrong or masculine right and feminine wrong, or pain wrong and pleasure right. The inner conflict that you feel, the distress that you feel is because of this divided mind, of this inner conflict that's judging things. This meditation is really going to support the end of the divided mind. So, first thing in the morning, when you know you're not fully in the mind yet, you're waking out of the dream world is a perfect time to do this meditation. Because you're breathing the sun energy down through you, that's when the sun's rising, so energies are really potent at that time. And then equally, so at night. When you're really tired and you're kind of between worlds, practice this meditation. It's a beautiful time to fall asleep. Again, energetically, it's a potent time because you're going to sleep, the dark sky is out, the moon is out, the lunar time for the feminine. So about 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at night would be amazing and change your life. But even five minutes would make a huge difference. This is something small to support achieving mental health, but something that makes a big difference. The fifth key to really achieving mental health is to do the simple things, because the simple things make such a huge difference. (hopeful ethereal music) (tranquil music) - The fifth key to really achieving mental health is to do the simple things, because the simple things make such a huge difference. So, what are some simple things you can do to really improve your mental health? What can we replace addictions with, and medication with, and avoidance strategies? We can replace them with things that really fill our cup, and that make us feel a higher vibration in our beings and a deliberate, conscious intention to release positive chemicals. So, there are neurotransmitters that, when they're firing and releasing, help us to feel a lot better. There's lots of neurotransmitters. I'm gonna talk about three. Oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine. So, oxytocin is that yummy chemical that gets released when we're feeling safe, when we trust someone, when we're being touched, when we're in love. You know, a woman releases a lot of oxytocin when we're breastfeeding. That's why breastfeeding is so yummy. And of course, we release a lot of oxytocin when we're making love, when we're cuddling. So, touch yourself, be touched, ask to be held. Bodywork is something that improves mental health so much. Getting massaged, or if you know a good Tantra practitioner who can support your journey into mental health with tantric massage, with certain bodywork, whether it's gentle dearmoring, or nurturing touch, or Kundalini Bodywork. So, bodywork is a great way to improve your mental health, releasing oxytocin through touch, through doing things that you enjoy, through connection. And one of the ways to release oxytocin, actually, that's really, really easy is just to think of a moment in your life that was absolutely beautiful. Like, okay, we'll close our eyes again and breath into your heart and feel into the moment in your life where you felt pure joy. Pure joy. So for me, it's when I gave birth to my children. All I have to do is think about that and my whole body tingles and my heart opens. What is it for you? Mm. (laughs) The second neurotransmitter I wanna talk about is serotonin. And serotonin links in with gratitude, but it's a little bit different. Serotonin is very connected to our self-worth. And as I've been saying, a lot of, you know, mental health issues arise from us having our dignity taken away from us, us as feeling as though we're not worthy to have our emotions. And when you think about it, it is so insane to suppress our human spirit, what makes us human, our emotional body. So, we're trying to heal insanity with insanity. If you think about it, medication, anti-anxiety, anti-depression medication, it numbs the emotional body. It suppresses the emotional body. So, it's basically saying, "Your humanity is not worthy. You are not dignified as a human. We're gonna cut you off from your humanity". What's the difference between being a soul and being human? When we come into this body, we feel, we start feeling. And medication doesn't just cut off from you feeling bad or uncomfortable, it cuts you off from feeling pleasure. It cuts you off from feeling. You're being cut off from your birthright. So, we wanna plug you back into your birthright. We wanna plug you back into your feeling. You are worthy of your humanity. You are worthy of your feeling body. I'll just collect myself after that rant. As you can see, I'm very passionate about this, because it's aliveness that humanity needs. It's feeling that humanity needs. And the serotonin in our body releases when we say to ourselves, "Well done", when we believe in ourselves. So, all of the moments, even if it's so hard for you to get out of bed in the morning, and tomorrow morning, you manage to get out of bed and meditate, or get out of bed and go for a walk. Exercise. Exercise is great for mental health, you know, and it actually releases all of these chemicals I'm talking about. Or maybe just getting out of bed in itself is a huge development for you. So, you just pat yourself on the back and you say, "Well done". And you know, something that helps to really intentionally release serotonin is to write a list. So, maybe when you've finished this course, you just wanna write three things this week that are gonna to make you feel better. Maybe just one day, this week, you're going to do one hour of yoga, or one day this week, you're gonna go to a friend and say, "Can you just hold me?", or you're gonna book a massage, or you're going to do the Golden Flower meditation. And then you're gonna tick it off the list and you're gonna go, "That's awesome". And you know, something that really lowers your serotonin is when you're comparing yourself to others. You know, you might be listening to this and you may have suffered from depression for a while. You may be anxious. You may have had a lot of trauma that you haven't dealt with. And you don't wanna compare yourself to someone who's already feeling vibrant and, you know, they're doing their job, they're meditating every day, they're exercising every day. Compare yourself to you and no one else. If what you do today is something extra than what you did yesterday, what you did today is just self-loving to yourself, then say to yourself, "Well done. You're awesome. I love you. I really, really love you". And there's a good oxytocin and serotonin booster. When you look in the mirror every day, look into your eyes and go, "I love you. I really, really love you just the way you are". You know, when we realize that we don't have to change, when we realize that we can just be with this human experience exactly as we are, that's when the most change happens. Because the change that we're seeking is because we wanna be happier, right? And we wanna feel more peaceful and at ease. I promise you that, if you start to allow yourself to just feel whatever's moving through you, you are going to be so much more in your ease, in your joy and in your power. So, tell yourself, "Well done", as many times as possible. I remember after a breakup, I was feeling like absolute dog shit. And I could barely get out of bed in the morning. And you know, there was this one day, not only did I get out of bed, I went to the beach, I cooked. And it's like, when I got to the beach, I'm like, (claps) "Yes! Yes!" "Yes!" And this is another really good movement. And this releases dopamine. Dopamine's a neurotransmitter that gets released when we achieve a goal. So, I had on my list that I was gonna get to the beach at sometime in the week, Got to the beach and, "Yes! Yes!" So, do it now. Think about something that, you know, you did to really love yourself this week. Something that really served you. Raise your arms up in the air. "Yes! Yes!" "Yes! Yes!" "Yes!" Ah. And you'll feel better, right? Just do it for one minute and you'll feel better. Dopamine will be released. And then that night, you know, when I cooked and served the food, and the table looked great, the food looked great, I did the same thing. I'm like, "Well done Chantelle", and I did my "Yes!" and my daughter came in, she was like, "Oh mom, what spiritual thing are you doing?" and we had a bit of a chuckle. So, dopamine gets released whenever we achieve a goal. A natural resource that's going to release all of the happy chemicals is nature. Get outside. I can't emphasize this enough. And every time you step outside, (inhales) breathe it in and give thanks for this beautiful world we live in, for the sky, for the trees, for the beauty around us. And you know, the vitamin D from the sun, the sunlight itself, the fresh air, it's all gonna make you feel so much better. So, I strongly recommend, get outside every single day. breathe in the air. Notice the beauty around you. Give thanks. And soak it all in. Soak in that earth energy. One other breath technique that I really love is to imagine that, as I'm inhaling, (inhales) I'm inhaling the earth up from the bottom of my body, (inhales) into my heart, and then (exhales) I'm breathing out my heart. So, you're breathing in, (inhales) and out. (exhales) Get out in nature, breathe in nature, and I promise you, that's gonna help you feel a lot better on so many levels. So, set some simple goals for yourself. Start affirming yourself. Start noticing the things that you are doing, not what you're not doing. Start to place your attention where you want energy to flow, and where you want energy to flow is towards loving yourself, towards accepting yourself fully. This journey is a big one. It's difficult, and it's absolutely beautiful. We have so many free resources to support you. The website is filled with blogs that I've labored over, that go into lots of different topics that will support you in your mental health. We have podcasts, we have YouTube videos, and yeah, we have in-depth online courses that are going to take you on an eight week journey of really retraining the nervous system to be okay with whatever is moving for you. So, I hope that I've shone some light for you and really given you a new view on mental health that's, potentially, going to change the whole course of your life, but at the very least, (fingers click) turn on some light bulbs for you. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for trusting me.