Handjob Mastery Online Course:
Techniques for Enhanced Penis Pleasuring

So welcome you hand job heroes-to-be to Hotter Hand Job Skills. I'm Luna Matatas. It is very warm in my apartment right now. I don't know why it's October in Toronto. I should be able to wear a sweater. So I will be profusely sweating as we're learning hand job skills. If you're aroused by sweat, great. Good for you, awesome. I have the joy of spicing up your hand jobs and really giving you skills to kind of navigate some of the things that we all have in common that we don't really like about hand jobs, or that make us feel un-confident about giving that kind of pleasure. And some of that stuff is like, "Well, how do I know what to do and how long to do it? And is it different for circumcised penises? Is it different for uncircumcised penises?" You know, and none of us really learned how to give a hand job in your high school sex ed, right? Like, I didn't learn that. I'm sure lots of people in high school were giving hand jobs. I was not. I was trying to gather some self-esteem to even try to exist in high school. So there's lots of us that kind of missed out on, most of us, most of us missed out on any of the type of communication that we need in our sexual experiences, in our desires and our arousal and our tease and our connection with other people that help us become these like intuitive connoisseurs of anybody's pleasure. And really, that's not about learning, you know, the 10 best ways to give a hand job, although I'm giving you 10 tips. But it is also about like really building this confidence in the communication in order to get the kind of information you need from that person to make this hand job the kind of hand job that they like, right? And when we think about, you know, how we approach pleasure, a lot of times we're kind of just guessing, right? Or we are kind of, we've watched porn. We have an idea that you just like, stroke it a few times and then stuff comes out, and you know, like what else is there possibly to do? The first time that I offered this class, I had quite a number of people write me and be like, "Yeah, what's there to know about hand jobs? Like, I don't want to pay to like figure out how to stroke a penis." And I was like, "Well, I think what porn and patriarchal influenced media has done is tell us that for people with penises, that their anatomy and their pleasure is very simple. And that it's kind of like from point A to point B, and that people with vulvas and clitorises are more complicated." But it's not actually true. So a person with a penis, their erogenous zones are bigger than just their penis. And even on the penis, there are different pleasure hotspots that we can manipulate with our hands. So whether you're here and you like pleasuring penises, or you're here, you like pleasuring penises and you have a penis, these are skills that help you kind of maximize the pleasure that you're giving by focusing on the pleasure hotspots. So we're gonna do a little bit of penis pleasure anatomy. So I'm gonna show you what all the hotspots are. We're gonna talk about also communication. How do we figure out is the thing we're doing working? Is this the move that they like? A lot of us have had experiences with partners that are really quiet and not communicative, and so we're not really sure if our moves are actually the moves that they like. Within communication too, and I want you to think about this and drop it in the chat if you already know off the top of your head, but think about what you like about hand jobs and what you don't like about hand jobs. So what's exciting and fun? And what's kind of like boring or like, not that interesting, or you just like completely don't like it? So that could be a variety of things from how you feel about it from previous experiences that you've had, and also from a lack of maybe knowledge or skill. And so that can lead to not feeling very confident. So I'd love to hear what you find really hot and like not so hot about hand jobs, because we'll, in the communication piece, we're also gonna talk about how do we navigate some of these things? How do we navigate what's uncomfortable? Or how do we set a boundary for things that are not on the menu when we're giving hand jobs? Another thing that I'm gonna cover tonight is what I like to call hand job helpers. And so hand job helpers are tools and toys that we can use to pleasure penises. A lot of sex toys on the market are marketed towards women or people with vulvas and that's actually kind of false marketing, because a lot of the toys, most toys, actually, can be used on people with penises. It can be used on penises or on the rest of their body. So I picked out some toys that I'm gonna show you that I think are a really fun addition to hand jobs and can kind of spice things up and really get someone to expand how they receive pleasure. Then I'm gonna teach you 10 techniques and five variations. So you're gonna have a shit ton of hand job options. And I've got some pro tips for you as well. So things you can do to take your hand jobs even further, even more creative, more exciting. Okay, so Krima says love the intimacy and being able to see my partner's reactions and also play with power dynamics. Love that, love that. The reactions of someone's pleasure, how their body changes, maybe their legs spread, maybe their breath changes, maybe they start to moan. Maybe they close their eyes and kind of puddle out into the sensation. Those are all things that can be really arousing for the person doing the thing. And it's arousing because we get to give pleasure, but there's also another crevice in there where you get to feel sexy for creating that pleasure, for co-creating that pleasure with that person. So I love watching my hand on someone as they start to either get more erect, or their body starts grinding, and I was like, "Damn my hand looks really sexy on this penis, right?" So you can also take in your own sexiness as you're giving sexy skills. I really like that. The power dynamics, absolutely. Power dynamics are- If you're interested in like dominance and submission or topping and bottoming, which are just versions of giving and receiving, and so who's in charge and who's kind of being the receiver. And if you're just getting started with power exchange, or if power exchange is already part of your dynamic, it's a really easy place to get started with feeling out like, what does it feel like to take control? What does it feel like? And a hand job can be a dominant expression of power. It can also be a submissive. Maybe you're doing a hand job in service of a daddy or master or something like that. So there's so many different ways that it can play into other types of things. While it sounds really simple, it can be kinky, it can be sensual, it can be playful. It can be even something you do when you're trying to have a quickie or extend something a little bit longer. We're gonna talk about cock massage, which is one of my favorite things ever. Jen says no idea what I'm doing, and I've learned my hands are not coordinated. I cannot play like instruments. This hand can't do something different than this hand. (laughs) They need to either be doing the same thing or like nothing at all, so I totally get that. We're gonna talk about moves that are really simple. Also one-handed moves, we'll talk about, and I'm gonna share some hand/mouth combo moves and also other body parts that you can engage in hand jobs too. All right. I love doing literally everything except the actual stroking part. Like playing with the head, balls. I find that stroking is boring. Yes, yes, a lot of people give me this feedback. Stroking is kind of boring, because sometimes stroking feels like we're just being their hand. And so it can feel like we are just like an extension of their masturbation versus, oh, we are both here, like giving and receiving pleasure, and that vibe isn't necessarily wrong. I mean, sometimes we want to quickie. Sometimes we want to just like get off or get our partner off. But consistently that totally turns into something boring. It feels like, "Well, you know, I could just get you, I don't know, a chicken breast in a thermos, and like, you can fuck that." Like that's not- Like it's just not as engaging. It feels a little bit objectifying for some people. Unsure about how to properly stroke an uncircumcised penis. Perfect, I've got an uncircumcised dil here for us, so we'll look at that too. That's a great question. I'm a total beginner right now, so there's intrigue and exploration. Love that, what a great attitude. Just like get curious, right? And we'll see what's out there. I would say I am okay at HJA, but I find it really hard to know what is good or not good, yes, without my partner communicating, which seems they rarely do. Since I don't have any of that anatomy, I get bored really easily and quickly with stroking. Okay, so we can universally agree. Most of us are pretty bored with just like stroking. I'm the same way. Like, unless I feel like- If I'm just sort of doing a move, you know, you read "Cosmo", it told you the five ways to give a hand job, and you're trying all these things, and really you're sort of- It becomes technical. It becomes sort of like, "Oh, like this is okay." So, you know, like. Check my phone, you know? So like it doesn't really give us enough feedback. And especially if your partner is not that communicative, which a lot of people aren't, and especially people with penises. Patriarchy has hurt masculinity in that way, in that it's said that like expressions of pleasure and like feelings are things that masculine people don't do. And so if your person is masculine and has a penis, sometimes that also comes with it. It seems like guys rarely want to enjoy HJ. Always want you to proceed to a BJ. Okay, I love this question or this statement or comment, because I'm gonna talk about in our communication piece that we get to decide what we're offering. So you are the one doing the thing. And so you get to feel like, are you in the mood for like a stroke stroke stroke, and then move on to something else? Are you in the mood for like, this is a buildup to like head? Are you in the mood that this is gonna be like a 15 minute like edge you, tease you, like get you so built up and then I'm just gonna back off, and maybe I'm gonna touch myself for a little bit, right? So we get to set the pace in consent with somebody else. But someone sort of demanding, like this is going in this direction and you don't feel like it, then it's not a co-creation of pleasure. It's like ordering a pizza, right? And I am not a pizza. (laughs) And so it can be a little bit intimidating to shift that communication, because it's not always an intentional conscious thing. Like we kind of are with folks that are also struggling to communicate. And so our empathy can also come out in these moments where we want to connect with our pleasure and our partner's pleasure in a more equitable way that's actually more mutually beneficial, so thank you for pointing that out. I find the pacing challenging, also how to give attention to other pleasure spots at the same time. Ooh, okay. This is where, Jen, this might require some coordination, so we'll see if- We'll see what we can do, but yes, we can also use some of the variation techniques that I'm gonna teach you to help make that pacing a little bit less intimidating so that that's definitely something on there. Okay, someone else with pacing. Cool, okay. And then hand jobs are too underrated. Okay, okay, great. Thank you for sharing all of this. How many of you use lube for hand jobs? Are we using any kind of lube? Is this a thing? I feel like lube is life. Yes, okay. Pre-cum okay, yep. Yes, most of the time. Partner doesn't want any. Yes. Okay, okay. All right, so no, didn't know I should. Okay. Never without lube. Okay, some of you were diehard lube, some of you are like take it or leave it. My partner is not sure. Okay, I'm gonna- Hopefully by the end of it, your hand job hero, you know, package that you're gonna set up for yourself is gonna include lube. Because we'll talk about- I got some lubes here that I'm gonna recommend for you that are specifically good for a hand job, and maybe not as great for other types of activities. Yeah, hand job hero. Do you want to be called something else? Do you want to be called like hand job harlots? Do we want to be called like hand job, I don't know. I feel like I need alliteration. That's just my thing. Cruz says I feel like I'll hurt them if I don't use lube. Yeah, yeah. It also depends on how your partner pleasures themselves and what they're used to. I had a partner once that used to masturbate with like mustard, like yellow mustard. When I saw it, I was like, "Oh my God, your poor penis." Like, isn't that spicy? Like I dunno. So we'll talk about proper lubes. (laughs) Yes. Is that especially the case for uncircumcised penises? Actually all penises should be using lube for hand jobs, because uncircumcised penises- Like that's a good question. Let's do the anatomy part and figure out like what we're talking about here. So let's start with uncircumcised penises. Please ignore that I ripped the foreskin on this. So this uncircumcised penis, I'm gonna put some lube in here so that I can move the foreskin. But uncircumcised penises, there is more lubrication naturally on them inside of the foreskin versus penises that are that have been circumcised. And so while they have some natural lubrication, remember that the skin around the penis, the foreskin, it can actually retract, right? And so for some people, it retracts all the way. For some people, the connection is a little bit tighter. We need some more lube in here, I'm calling in some lube. And so it's actually not enough lube to be considered useful for a hand job, and especially once the foreskin has retracted or been pulled back a bit, the part that's exposed, it's not like it keeps self-lubricating. The lubrication is inside of the foreskin. So if this is down here, this is eventually gonna dry up, right? So on our penis with a foreskin, the foreskin is attached at the most sensitive part of the penis on both circumcised and uncircumcised penises, so that's the frenulum. So the frenulum is this little part here that is like a little V, and then it to this really big sort of vein down the middle of the penis. So on someone with a foreskin, you may not see it until the foreskin is retracted. And one of the considerations for people who are uncircumcised is that we don't want to kind of come in and just like jam the foreskin back, right? So you may ask them to either hold the foreskin back for you or to, you know, like how far do you like this? Like what's comfortable for you? And just go slow. Some people have a very tight attachment, and so it can feel very painful to have it pulled past what the comfort level is for this. So we're just trying to learn this body. So you can actually use the foreskin as you start warming up with some of the techniques that we'll sort of be doing. And I will mention which ones are different for penises with foreskins and penises without foreskins. So I'm just gonna move to my giant pink cock. And so just so that we can see some of the other anatomy that's not visible with my foreskin penis. So when we're looking at the frenulum. Down the middle of the penis, this is what we call the shaft of the penis, right? So this whole area between the head of the penis and the base of the penis is the shaft. So the shaft tends to not be as sensitive as other parts of the penis, the head of the penis and the frenulum and underneath the rim of the penis. So think about when you're putting your hands, it's not necessarily that beneficial to always focus all of your energy on the shaft. And so you could have one hand holding onto the shaft and another hand doing something to the top of the penis, where the most sensitivity is. So we'll learn techniques that allow you to layer and build that kind of pleasure. All right. So in our shaft, what we've got is two columns of erectile tissue. So both penises and clitorises have erectile tissue, which means that once our brain gets turned on or our body gets turned on, there are arousal cues that are sent to the rest of our body to open up blood vessels and increase blood flow. So essentially an erection is the blood flow has reached and started to pressurize the shaft. And so we've got a firmer erection. This doesn't mean that you can't- I'm using this one to show an unerect penis. So it doesn't mean that you can't use a hand job on unerect penises. Some people don't get hard from hand jobs, but they enjoy the pleasure, the sensation, watching it, the intimacy, the buildup. And so if someone's struggles with erectile dysfunction, or they just don't get hard from that, or it requires a different overall body arousal, and then they start to show erection, that's totally normal. It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. It doesn't mean that, you know, your skills are not that good. It could just mean that that's not the type of pleasure that- Now I've wiped lube on my face. So now I've got lube and sweat on my face. So when we think about the rest of the penis, when we move here- So society kind of makes us think that the penis ends as soon as it touches the person's body, but the penis is actually more like in a boomerang kind of shape. So there is a part of the erectile tissue that is inside of the body. So there's a stem to the penis that is inside the body. And so pressing against the body or engaging at the base of the penis with pressure can often feel like really pleasurable, because it's getting at that root of the penis. Then we've got testicles. How do we feel about testicles? Do we like testicles? Like, what's up with testicles? I feel like some people don't really know like what to do with testicles or, how to play with them. You love them? Okay, great, great, awesome. All right, amazing. Cute accessories. You guys love to play with the accessories. How to play, love to play with them. I always ask how sensitive they are. And that's a great question to ask, yes. Just learning to play with them. They're so soft. Yeah, they totally are. I don't know what to do with them, really. No idea. Okay, cool. All right, all right. So we've got a range of this, but that was some good enthusiasm around testicle pleasure. Amazing. So with testicles, we actually- So testicles, we often refer to them as like one whole part, but when we're talking about pleasure anatomy, there actually are several spots on testicles that we can play with. So testicles are inside the scrotum. So unfortunately on my dildo, I can't grab the skin, but with the scrotal skin, the scrotal sack for some people is very sensitive. And so you can just play with the sack without necessarily touching the testicles. And so massaging the sack, playing with the skin in the same way that if you were, if you have a vulva and you were to touch your labia, so you can practice kind of playing with your labia, and that's the same kind of motions that you would play with testicles or with the scrotal sack. The actual testicles, some people like pressure on them. Some people like them sorta cupped. Some people like them pulled gently. Some people like them kind of massaged upward. Some people like the space right underneath the testicles, because it's sweaty, it's warm, it rarely gets touched. It can be a really sensitive area. The raphe or the raphe is the seam that looks like you could unzip the scrotal sack and the balls would come falling out. So that seam for some people is really sensitive. So touching that, dragging a fingernail along that, dragging a knuckle along that, that can all be a part of your hand job. Some of those spots are less sensitive. And then the most sensitive spots are probably the head and the balls, but in different ways. So the reason why balls are so sensitive is because their nerve endings actually are really deep into the body that are close to around the intestinal nerve endings. And so that's why when they receive pleasure from pulling or pressure on their balls, or it feels really painful, it's because it's a deep kind of feeling. So think about if you have a cervix and you've ever had your cervix bumped during fingering, or a toy or a penis inside of you, and it feels like you got punched in the gut, our cervix is also connected to deep intestinal nerve endings, so it's the same kind of feeling. And so for some people that intense feeling is awesome. And for other people, it's like way too much. It'll make them feel nauseous or they're just like, completely turns them off. So it is a good idea to even just say, "Oh, like, do you like your balls played with?" That's all you need to ask. And then you can try starting with the less sensitive areas, like the scrotal sack, and then moving up and before you can give a gentle bit of pressure and say like, "Oh, do you like that? Or do you want it a little bit firmer? Do you want me to like, rub them or stroke them?" And so giving really simple answers for them to respond to for anybody, this is a really good strategy to start getting communication. Binary questions. Harder, softer, faster, slower, right? And so that gives you a little bit of a temperature taking on "Hmm, like what do I do next?" Or "Where do I go from here?" Or "Can I do this thing?" And some people like to, if you're really familiar with your partner, or you have a dynamic where you communicate a lot non-verbally, so you could also do things and then seek feedback. And so, you know, start to squeeze or start to massage and then say, "Oh, do you like that? 'Cause you liked that last time. That felt really good." Or "Are you in the mood for this?" Sometimes what someone liked one time is not what they're in the mood for for that time too. Okay, so now that we've got our penis anatomy, I just want to mention two surrounding areas. So who's a fan of the anus? Is anyone a fan of anal pleasure? If you know me, I'm totally- I saw Jen's hand go up, okay. I'm totally an anal, you know, adventurer. And I really enjoy anal play on giving anal play and receiving anal play, because it is part of, it's an erogenous zone. It's like the gender equalizer, right? Like everyone has a butthole, so it has the potential for pleasure, and it doesn't necessarily have to be penetrative pleasure. So you're a recent convert, amazing. Oh, good, good, I'm so glad, Krima. I'm trying to get my partner to be more open to it. Yeah, okay. And no, okay. So yeah, you don't have to be into it. So just know that sometimes people with penises, especially if they identify as men, if they identify as heterosexual, you know, there's a lot of homophobia around butt play that is just homophobic. Like it actually has nothing to do with whether or not it feels good for them, but if there's an emotional connection to it that might make them feel unmasculine or that it says something about their sexuality. So, you know, you kind of putting out pleasure options in a way that is not about obligation. You're not like, "Hey, the only way you're gonna get a good hand job is if I can be in your butthole." You're gonna say, "Hey, you know, if you want me to play with your butthole, like I can totally do some stuff on the outside of it." And so no penetration. We're just talking about the nerve endings around the butthole. If this is your butthole, all those cute little crinkles, you can do things with your knuckles, holding a toy against it. The perineum, so the space between the anus and the testicles. What other words do you know for perineum? Taint, is taint one of them? Tell me, I love hearing people's words for perineum. I don't know, this is like a little, this is my kink. All the different words around, for perineums. My favorite is nacho, because it's nacho ass and it's nacho dick. So that space, that little space there is where we can actually access- We can access the prostate with gentle pleasure. And so it's not the same as if you were to put fingers or a toy inside the anus to get at the prostate. But if you're giving a hand job, and you've got another hand free, using your knuckles and massaging upwards, and so upwards is towards the anterior part of the body, so towards the belly button, up and in, that's gonna give you access to a little gentle stimulation to the prostate while you're stroking. And so that can make you feel like, or it can make your partner feel like they're getting this blended pleasure. So it's very similar to if someone was touching a clitoris and they were also gently putting pressure around the G-spot area, but not directly on it. Okay. Gooch, yes, gooch, yes, absolutely. That's another one, yes. I've heard choda. I can't remember what other ones I've heard. So many good ones. I want to like paint a wall with just like all the other names for perineums. Alrighty. So since we're in communication, before we get into some of the hand job helpers and some of the techniques, we talked a little bit about these binary questions. So let me know if there's anything else that you find that's difficult to communicate during hand jobs and we can speak to those, but for those of you who kind of feel, you know, I'm just not sure like if they like it, like if this is like pleasure that's good for them, you can do two things. So one of them is you can do, you know, teach me to touch you. And so this could be about putting your hands on top of their hand while they're stroking, and then doing something else together, so kissing or neck kissing or nipple play, or eye gazing or something like that. It doesn't feel so awkward as it's like, you're just focusing on that one skill, but you're creating sort of a sensual connection between some other type of sexual activity and this like teaching moment where you're basically holding hands on top of their penis. And so that can be really sexy if you want to kind of learn, like, are they stroking in this direction? Are they just stroking the head? Are they pulling towards their stomach? Are they pulling to the left? Are they pulling to the right? So, you know, get them to masturbate with your hand on top of them. You can also do a little show and tell. If you've got a partner that is, maybe you don't live with them all the time and you want to do some like sexy video chat things, or if you are with them in person, and you can say like, "Hey, like, do you want to do a little bit of a show and tell? Like, I can watch you touch yourself." And that can be super exciting if you're a voyeur, so someone who really enjoys the aesthetics or performance of sex. And for your partner, if they're an exhibitionist, they get to show off a little bit and you get to watch how they're touching themselves. You can also join in. You could put on a show and they could put on a show and it's called mutual masturbation, and you can learn about the ways that you both touch yourselves and then replicate that. So that's a little bit of a visual learning without having to sit down and being like, "So tell me exactly where on your penis you like to be touched." Right? Which feels prescriptive. It feels kind of cold. And it's okay to ask in that way too. It's okay in a non-sexy time to say, "Hey, you know, I love giving you hand jobs, but I'm not really sure what to do. Like, what do you like?" And they might say, "Oh, I like everything you're doing, everything you're doing is fine." And you're kind of left like, "Well, but I don't know. I'm just guessing like when I'm doing this." So if they give an answer that is vague or just like sweet and enthusiastic but not informative, you might want to give contrast. So you might say, "Hey, do you like it when I'm playing just with your head? Do you like a firmer stroke? Do you like a softer stroke? Did you like that thing that I did with whatever? Did you like this? Did you like that?" That gives them sometimes an opportunity to respond to a specific moment while knowing there were other moments that they also enjoyed. And so sometimes our partners need this reassurance that we're not gonna feel rejected. We're not gonna feel bad. I am genuinely curious about how to give this penis that I like more pleasure. And you can welcome, you can also open up the conversation around your pleasure too, and be like, "Hey, like, I'm happy to talk about like, you know, other things that I like or things I want to try." So you can make it a conversation that's bigger than just about, you know, getting like a one, two, three about how to give them a better hand job. It could be like, "Did you like when I was kissing your neck and stroking you? 'Cause I thought that was so hot." And give your feedback too, and that can sometimes help model the way that you want to have the conversation. Gooch, oops, I already read the gooch one. Need to do a whole course on- Yes, yes, it's a popular one. I teach bedroom communication. And at first I was like, "Oh, people want sexy things like BJ's." But that class was full. Like people were like, "I don't know how to ask for what I want. I don't know how to, you know, figure out if what I'm doing is right." And that's totally understandable. We're not taught that sex is something that we need to communicate about. We're just taught that it's like, well, you just do the thing. But it's communication like any other kind of human interaction. And that's where we've lost a lot of our conversations around consent that are not just about, "I don't want you to, you know, do something," or "I don't want to do something and then I'm gonna get in trouble." It's more about like, "How can I give you the pleasure that you like, right?" Like I should be here trying to get and give you the pleasure that you like and communicate the pleasure that I like. So hand jobs are a great place to do this, because there is a lot of focus on- Your bodies might be a little bit separate. You might be hyper-focused on this one thing. You might be doing multiple things. Yep, absolutely. There's so much room for improvement in all of our bedroom communication. All right, so another one that falls under communication before we go into hand job helpers, and let me know how you feel about like, the show and tell, how you feel about nonverbal communication. If there are specific verbal things that you want to be able to phrase in a way. This is the place to be able to get this inspiration. The other thing I think, and someone kind of mentioned it, like you know, a hand job is just like, "Oh, okay, just do it and get your mouth on it." Right? Or "Just do it so then I can get hard and we can have penetrative sex." So sometimes a hand job is something on the way to something else and, great. That can be really great too, if that's what you also want. I sometimes find, and it actually takes me out of the moment. And if so if you're someone that struggles with being in the moment, if you're someone who kind of gets into your head and out of your body, this is the type of thing that can get you out of the moment, because your body is noticing, or your self, your sense of pleasure is noticing, "Hey, like we're just doing this thing again to get to that other thing. Like, I'm not even like into this." And we won't say that, right? Most of us won't say that, 'cause we don't want to hurt our partner's feelings. We don't want to seem like we're taking up too much space. Even when I'm having hookups and sex with strangers, you know, pre-COVID then like, I sometimes felt like, "Oh, I don't want to be a bitch." 'Cause we're taught that speaking up about our pleasure is being a bitch or being difficult or being too much or being drama, and it's not. It actually benefits both people, but it's difficult. So if you feel any shame around it, that's shame that we learned and we can definitely unlearn that. So, you know, if your hand jobs are leading to blow jobs too quickly, if your hand job feels like it's just about like jerking them off so they have like a different hand, you can kind of think about like, what am I in the mood for? Am I in the mood for a quickie? Am I in the mood for something that's like a breadcrumb to a blow job? Am I in the mood for a cock massage? Am I in the mood to like, you know, really like get into this in a sensual kind of marathon kind of way? And so knowing what kind of pleasure that you want, you get to ask for it. And so it actually brings more enthusiasm to your partner because you're doing your thing and whatever, and then all of a sudden you're like, "Yeah, like I just want to like get you off." Or "I want to get you hard so that we can fuck." Or "I want to get you like so riled up for like 20 minutes and then see where I'm at." So ask for the pleasure that you want to give. Ask for the options or present the options that you are comfortable giving. And if your partner is used to a particular pattern, if it's like sort of two strokes and then they're like, "Oh babe, like, put your mouth on it." You can say, "Oh, I'm just like really into this. This is so fucking hot watching you get hard in my hand, and like, I just want to do this a little bit longer. Is that okay with you?" And so once we put it out in a way with like, "But I'm really enjoying this and like you look like you're enjoying this," and people just get used to like routine. We get used to like, "Oh, you kiss my mouth, you touch my boobies, and then maybe you go down on me and then we do P and V, right?" And so we have this like very limiting way of having sex and an order of sex and also a very penis-centered, orgasm-centered way of having sex. And it doesn't really benefit anybody, not even people with penises. So this is a chance to kind of discover, celebrate and be enthusiastic about all the other types of pleasure that aren't dependent on getting to penetration or blow jobs, Even if those things are super fun for you as well. It's just about opening up your menu and making everything just as exciting or as enticing, depending on your mood and depending on their mood. So communication has to, you know, really start to become something that you feel empowered by versus now how we feel disempowered that, "Oh, but they're gonna think I'm difficult. They're gonna think this, or they're gonna think I don't like to do blow jobs. They're gonna think-" like this is really about getting that conversation out. So if they think that you don't like to do blow jobs, they're gonna say, "Oh babe, is it because you don't like to do blow jobs?" And you're gonna be like, "No, it's just 'cause like, I'm just loving you up with my hands. I'm like I'm gonna get my mouth there later. But like I just want to be here right now." And so it becomes actually a more authentic and empathetic way of having sex, because you're real. You're not performing for each other anymore. You're meeting each other in your pleasure needs. And this applies in long-term relationships. It applies on your Tinder date. It applies everywhere. It doesn't matter, your level of respect and what you deserve to get in any situation isn't dependent on whether it's for one night or 10,000 nights. Yep, yep, yep. That's always the narrative. Yeah, I mean, I always throw this out to you, any of my BJ or my hand job classes. I'm like, you know, imagine a world where sex didn't end when the penis ended, right? If that wasn't the end of sex. And there is that world. There is that world, even with people with penises and many of us have had lovely experiences where we really enjoy the penetrative things or the hand job things or the blow job things, but we want to continue pleasure beyond ejaculation or beyond the penis owner's orgasm. And so sometimes we get kind of disappointed because the narrative is that, oh, the penis has done, then everything's done. It's not true, you have so many toys, you got hands, you got fingers, you got buttholes, you've got so many things that you can keep things going. Okay, so when I talk about this cock massage and we're gonna get into the techniques now. So I want to introduce cock massage, and then I'll tell you the techniques that you can do to kind of build into it. So when I describe a cock massage, it's more about- It's for sure slowing things down. It's not putting the focus on orgasm. So I'm not giving you a cock massage in the same way that like, like I'm just like jerking it until, you know, it just like, we're just trying to build you towards orgasm. A cock massage is actually about creating pleasure. It's about creating stimulation. It's about creating buildup. And so this can happen on a penis that's soft, a penis that's semi erect, a penis that's super erect, because the techniques that we're gonna use are actually gonna help them deepen into the sensations that we're giving. And so we don't have to kind of- You don't have to go do, like, I dunno, those wrist exercise things, those like muscle things to like build up your wrist stamina to do a cock massage. But cock massages are really something that can be a fun date. So you could set out a date where you're like, "Babe, like tonight, I'm gonna give you, you know, a full body massage. And then I'm gonna give you a cock massage, and like that's how we're gonna finish." And then maybe the next time you're gonna get your genitals attended to. And so you take turns being the center of pleasure and being able to sink into receiving, and you get to sink into giving without worrying that it has to go in a direction that it has always has gone before. And so we're just saying let's just play. Like what would happen if we just didn't do the thing we always do? And I get to focus on like, seeing how much I can extend the pleasure from this hand job? So cock massages are slower. There's no rush to finish, there's a buildup in pleasure. And you get to put your whole sexy self into this cock massage, because you are now the great purveyor of hand job skills that is going to make this massage actually help them have arousal in their whole body. And so when we focus on one area and we don't make it about orgasm, that pleasure and that arousal starts to expand into the rest of our bodies and help arouse under-serviced erogenous zone. So massages with some of the techniques that we'll look at, they can actually be combined with things like making out or neck kissing. Who likes neck kisses? I feel like- Okay, good. Okay. I feel like you're dead on the inside if you don't like neck kisses. So if you're like neck kissing someone- Okay, or tickling, I'm sorry, I'm judging. If you're like, if you're kissing someone's neck and you're giving a slow cock massage, and it's not about like just getting it real quick, but you're like actually, what does your hand feel like on their penis? You know, what does it feel like for you to make this slow movement down things? And for some of us, it's gonna feel awkward as fuck. We're gonna be like, "What are we doing here?" But that awkwardness actually creates a little bit of tension and tease, because it helps keep you in the moment. If you're feeling awkward because your hand is like, you're like, "Well, what do I do next? I'm not sure." That sometimes can, if you sink into the sensation versus like thinking about what am I gonna do next? It becomes more about you playing. It becomes more about you exploring and less about kind of like do this thing, then do this thing. Think about if you were to have a piece of clay and you didn't have any idea what you were gonna make, you know, and you were just kind of like massaging it around and it feels really good in your fingers, and you're like, oh, that part's softer, I like touching the harder parts, and oh, it's kind of cool to roll it like this. That sensation for our hands actually can make us feel really, really sexy. We have so many nerve endings on our fingertips, and so engaging those in pleasure versus just making them in service of someone else's pleasure actually creates more pleasure for both of you automatically. I'm sure this is a past the scope of the class, but yes, men or people with penises are pretty closed off to anything other than heteronormative version of sex. A lot of them fear internalized homophobia. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. There's like- That's a very shared and common experience and it's still a very pervasive experience where, you know, if any of you are on any kind of dating app, you know, if you were to ever bring up anal, automatically it's assumed that the person with the vulva is gonna be the anal receiver. And so I love being on Tinder and someone brings up anal and I'm like, "Oh my God, yeah, I love anal." And they'll say, "Yeah, me too. I love to like, stick it in hard." And I'm like, "Oh my God, me too. I love to pound it in hard." (laughs) And they're like, "Wait, what?" So we can't make assumptions around who likes what or what kind of person. This is also important for us when we're thinking about like dick diversity. And so small dicks aren't better than or worse than big dicks. Big dicks are not better or worse than like- They all have the same pleasure capacity. And if you have a preference for things, that that's up to you, but when we're talking about the actual pleasure potential, all of the techniques I'm gonna show you tonight, you can do on any penis. And most penises that we're seeing in porn or that are referenced in the media, they're not actually- Like most people's penises are not this size. This is probably a big average sized penis, right? An erect penis. So we have a lot of kind of mistaken identities around dicks, and you know, "Like, yeah, then I'm gonna stroke it like this." Nobody's penis is like this. Nobody's penis is the size of my head, right? My partner has had several prostate biopsies. Anal brings up thoughts of pain and stress. Yeah, people are not into anal for- Even if they don't have internalized homophobia. they may just not like anal, and that's totally okay. It's when we're closing ourselves off from anal because of shame, and because we think it says something about who we are or what kind of person, you know, we like to date or that kind of stuff. But even people with vulvas, some people like anal, some people don't. Alrighty. Okay, let's get into- Let's do some techniques. Are you ready for techniques? Yeah? Okay, you got whatever phallic thing you're gonna over there. Let me see all your ph- Good, okay, I see some phallic objects. All right, yes, okay, good. (laughs) Amazing, amazing. You're all so cute. Banana, okay, good. (laughs) Amazing, all right. So what are the techniques? Oh, let me actually talk about lube and then- So hold on to your phallic object. Just because lube is really important. So when we think about lube, a lot of us have had experience with lube that feels kind of goopy and tacky and thick, and it's actually more like the consistency of a lube that you would get at the gyno or any type of internal exam. That lube is not sex lube, you know? And so most of the things you're able to buy in drug stores are unfortunately not that great. They're gonna be filled with additives that are not good for vulvas, and they're gonna be kind of a thicker, lesser quality type of lube. So there's, you know, now we have like lots of options. Someone's mentioning KY and when KY was all we had, right? But like now we've got really good lubes. So for hand jobs, we actually want lubes that are longer lasting. And so hand jobs, because we're not so much worried about, you know, kind of contact with other parts of the body, so if you're avoiding things like pregnancy or STI's, I mean, hand jobs are a pretty low risk activity. And so we can use lubes that don't necessarily need to be compatible with things like condoms. So normally if you're using an oil-based lube and then you want to use a condom afterwards, oil actually reduces the effectiveness of latex. So if you're using latex-based condoms, they're not compatible with oil-based lubes. So just keep that in mind. Some people will have lubes that are water-based. And so some people like water-based lubes because they kind of, they feel very close to vaginal fluids, to the consistency of like semen. And so the ejaculate texture feels great. It doesn't feel like you're like gooping, you know, jelly into your partner or onto your partner's body. So if you like water-based lubes, I usually recommend Sliquid lube. I don't know if you can see it really well, but I will put these in your notes, so don't worry about having to write them down. So you can see, like it's not goopy, right? It's very, very silky. And it's not very- It's not super tacky. Like you're not getting this viscous kind of consistency. So water-based lubes are fine for hand jobs, but they do dry up quicker. If you're like pre-cum or spit is enough. Pre-cum and spit are cute. They are not lube. Because what happens is pre-cum, spit, and then water-based lube, like that's sort of the order within which that they're gonna dry up the quickest. Spit is gonna dry up the quickest, then pre-cum and some people don't produce enough pre-cum to actually be useful. But the other thing is is that this creates, like this silky texture, you can't get that with pre-cum and spit, right? So we want a silky texture because it actually affects the effectiveness and the pleasure of your technique. So you can be doing this move, add lube to it, it is like a whole new thing. So water-based lube is fine if you have water-based lube at home. If you don't have lube at home already, and you're looking- Oh, and I'm gonna moisturize with it. It's also a good moisturizer. If you don't have lube at home already, I would recommend getting a silicone-based lube for hand jobs. So silicone-based lubes, you can't use them on silicone toys, but I mean, we're talking about actual fleshy penises here, so you can use them on penises. They are also very, you can kinda see, like very silky. They're even silkier than water-based lubes. And so no like viscousness at all, right? Like no tackiness. What's great about them is that they don't absorb into the skin as quickly as water-based lube. So they last a really long time. So if you're doing a cock massage and you want to keep it slippery and warm, lubes are also a conductor for heat. And so they help kind of make your hands feel even warmer on a penis. So if someone is uncircumcised, you can put a little bit of lube like I did with my- I'll show you the other side, this looks so painful. Is you can put a little bit of lube inside, like a few drops into their foreskin. So just putting a little bit in there and then sort of like massaging it around so that it makes its way down. So that will combine with their natural lubrication but give you a longer lasting texture. So lube is life in summary. And when you're looking for things like silicone lubes, some people don't like it because they've had experiences where it stains their sheets or it like lasts too long. Keep a towel next to you or put a towel under them. But Uberlube, I use Uberlube, and one of their product claims is that it doesn't stain sheets. It's a silicone lube that doesn't stain sheets. So that's also a super good option for you to just kind of keep like and have it there. And you can make a whole show of like, putting on the lube, right? You're like get down to their penis and you're like, "Oh, I guess we're ready." Right? And then like massage it all around. I have to wipe off some of this lube now. Oh, more moisturizer. (laughs) All right. So how do we feel about exploring a bit with lube? Is that something we're gonna get into? Okay, cool, cool. All right. You can do hand jobs without lube, but like, why create that friction? Like, think about when someone's touching your clitoris it's not wet or lubey. It feels just like dryness, right? Good, I'm glad, yeah. Definitely go for it, because even if you forget any of the techniques and you're like, "Shit, what'd Luna say?" Say just use lube. It'll just like up your game. Okay. So when we're starting with- We're gonna start with one technique, which is called the twister. I'm actually gonna lower my screen and just keep talking to you so that you can see my hands. Okay. So the twister technique, you can do it with one hand, or you can do it with two hands, but it's allowing the shaft to get a lot of stimulation from sort of the strength and the texture of your hands and your knuckles. And so the twister, the two handed twister is you're just making half circles. And so you can start with half circles. You can also do the twister and kind of go down. And so you may go towards the body. You can do the twister and go up. So it's half circle up, half circle up. Or half circle down, half circle down. And remember your hands are gonna be like all slippery and lovely. If this is confusing for you, hold on to the base of the penis, because remember there's all this like stem of the penis that's still in there. So your hands can create a little bit of a cock ring and trap some of the blood a little bit harder in the penis and just take one hand and do the twister. That's totally acceptable. Now the key part of the twister is that whenever you're twisting either up or down towards the frenulum, you're gonna put a little bit extra pressure, or you're gonna put emphasis on this area. So emphasis might be, you know, you're twisting up. and when you get here, you put a little bit of a squeeze, or you make a little bit of an exaggeration motion, so that you're stimulating this area. So you just want to think about like, "Okay, I'm coming up, and then maybe I'm gonna slow a little bit here before I move my hand off." And so twisting can just be- One of the variations I'm gonna mention for all of these is that you can play with speed. So you can twist a little bit faster, or you can twist slower. You can twist like super exaggerated slow. I love doing slow moves to start. But then also once you have a responsive penis or a responsive partner, slow moves are a good way to kind of pause everything and then ramp pleasure back up. So instead of going like pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, we're going pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, and then kind of like leveling off and then pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. So you actually get a deeper level of pleasure. How do we feel about the twister? You like the twister? Yeah? Okay. I'm gonna put some lube, that looks so yummy. Okay, so this one is gonna be- This is my cutest and most favorite one. So this is also how you can put on lube with the twister, right? Like pour it on the top and then kind of move your hand down. So the twister doesn't really go over the head. I'm gonna show you one after that, that goes over the head. This one's called the bouncing octopus. So your hand is gonna be a cute little octopus and you're gonna hold on to either the base of the penis or the shaft of the penis, depending on what your partner's size is. My hands are super huge, so I like to hold on to the base of the penis. And you're gonna take the tips, kind of the pads of your fingers, you're starting at the head and you're moving down until it hits the back of your hand. And so it's a motion where you're moving down, your fingers are grazing the most sensitive parts of the penis. It's moving down to the shaft and it's hitting against the back of your hand. One of the key things about this motion is that when you're moving down, it's not a passive feathery moving down, this is an intentional pushing and pulling back up. So you're using your fingers or your tentacles as ways to kind of increase pressure and pleasure on all of the hotspots as you're going up and down. And so this can also be something that you increase with speed. This can be something you can add a little bit of a twist to. You can put your other hand and do something else while you're doing this. But this one is really nice, because the back of the hand feels like it's hitting the back of a vagina or a part of an anus, and so it just would like move- It gives it a little bit of a feeling of being encapsulated. So you're kind of like trapping this. With this change- Oh, if I had a penis, this move would look amazing. Yes. I know. I know, right? Would it change with an uncircumcised penis or no, because of the lighter touch? Oh, I'm gonna show you the octopus on- I'm gonna show you the octopus and the twister on the uncircumcised penis for sure, yes. Yeah, it does. It looks really good, right? So imagine if your partner, you know, your partner is like looking at you like this. This is the view you're getting, and you're just doing this like sexy octopus, and notice your fingers. Like, "Did you do your nails for this hand job?" You know, "Like did you like cut your nails?" Like look at your sexiness and like the movement, like connect to all of that. So I'm gonna show you two techniques at a time, and I'll take a break and then show you on uncircumcised penis, or show you on both of the models. So for uncircumcised penises, for the twister, if your person, if their foreskin is still sort of up, and if it hasn't retracted, or if you want to use the foreskin, the twister works the same way. And so the foreskin gets to be part of the kind of texture creation, of the motion of what's going on. You can also use your one hand to hold and retract to where it's comfortable for them to hold the foreskin and retract it, and then use this hand for the bouncing octopus, or for the twister, right? So we've got sort of a twist octopus or for the twister. And so we're still massaging the most sensitive parts of the penis on the uncircumcised penis, but we get to use the head as like an extra kind of texture. And I'm actually gonna talk with you about a sex toy that kind of feels like a foreskin. And so for circumcised penises, we can also give a similar sensation that that foreskin would have. I'm gonna show this one on uncircumcised penises first. So this is called scissor fingers. And I want to mention, I'm gonna show this on, on if someone has a smaller but erect or non-erect penis, it actually doesn't matter. So scissor fingers are about kind of using the crevice between two fingers to create a sensation. So this is super fun because it's gonna be a wet and lubey. And so you're gonna lube up your hands and your scissor fingers are going up and down, but then these two knuckles are also kind of either in the front of the penis, or they're just around the side of the penis. So you're tucking two fingers in and you're using the other two. Your thumbs are also free. So I'm gonna turn it and maybe I'll do it this way. Well, I can't because it's backwards. Okay, but my thumbs are also free to do things too. So if you're a scissor fingering and you want your thumbs to do something at the same time. So I could be and then using my thumbs to massage the frenulum, right? And so it's a motion that allows you to kind of give more concentrated pleasure, whereas this one is more encompassing, and this one feels more encompassing. It's actually good to mix up an encompassing one and a directed pleasure one, because every time you start to rise up the stimulation in the shaft, and then you take a little bit of a break for it and you're giving it less attention, less touch, less stimulation, it starts to get excited, it starts to crave more. So think about when, you know, if you were to have your hand right now, and if you were to lick your hand and then wait a few seconds and then exhale onto your hand, you're gonna feel a sensation, because you've changed the temperature of your hand by licking it and then blowing your hot breath on it. So it's the same thing with texture and pressure. We're giving pressure, pressure, pressure, lots and lots of touch, and then we're still giving stimulation, but it's a little bit less. Okay, so scissor fingers on a cut penis would look very similar. And so again, my thumbs are here, they're doing some fun things. And then my fingers are doing most of the work. So that one can also be a really sexy move if they are standing up and you're giving them sort of a towards your face, because it's like you're drawing their penis, you're jerking it or stroking it towards your face or towards your body. So there's sort of a visual kind of hotness to this. Oh, Krima oh, no problem. Have a sweet night, thank you for joining us. Your new partner is quite rough with himself when self-pleasuring, but I'm scared to be rough, any advice, please? Yes, for sure. And when a partner orgasms, unsure when to stop touching them or keep going till the end of orgasm. Okay, yes. I will answer both of those for sure. I'm gonna continue with the techniques, and you will have those in the replay, so you will get those answers, I promise. With our next kind of move. So we've got 10 moves to go through, so I gotta get you all these 10 moves. The next one is anchor and stroke. And so anchor and stroke is about- So if anyone struggles with like kind of hand coordination, this one's pretty good. So what it means is you're gonna create an anchor with one hand, similar to the twister. You're holding onto the base. And then the other hand is gonna create sort of an upward type of motion. So you're bringing the stroking upwards, and this can go over the head. So you're actually sort of- I'm gonna take off this one. So it looks you're grabbing it. You're pulling, you're sort of massaging. I'm putting emphasis around underneath the head and I'm coming all the way over the head. And so the anchor means your hand's creating a little bit of a cock ring again, and trapping more blood flow in here, which means there's gonna be more sensation. There's gonna be even more sensitivity. And this hand is kind of using it to sort of milk. So you can use it, you can stroke in this direction, or if your partner- So I'm gonna stick this kind of to my chest. So if this was my biologically attached penis, and you've watched me masturbate, and this is how I masturbate, right? Then when you're doing the anchor and stroke, you're gonna try and mimic the same kind of cupping. If I this way, cool. If I'm masturbating towards my own body, then you're gonna try and manipulate your stroke in the direction that they are normally enjoying. All right. Likewise, for uncircumcised penises, the anchor might also mean that your anchor is holding onto the foreskin. And so depending on someone's anatomy and how much it retracts and what's comfortable for them, the stroke could include just a portion of the exposed penis, or it could be the entire penis, and you're holding the foreskin back completely. And so the anchor and stroke, the only difference for uncircumcised penises is that you have options. You can either have it using the foreskin. So you can anchor- People's foreskins don't fold back like this, just FYI. This is just my dildo. This is why I ripped it last time, because it doesn't retract easily. All right. So (laughs) If you're holding onto their penis and let's say they aren't fully erect yet, or the foreskin hasn't retracted, you can actually use the foreskin. So you're gonna hang on- I know, poor rippy, I know. You're gonna hang onto the base of the penis, and then you're gonna do a little bit of stroking. So if you're stroking your bananas or you're stroking your water bottles, you want to see like, are you- 'Cause there's a difference between like, touching, right? And feeling something. So are you feeling this stroke? What does it feel like if you squeeze harder? What does it feel like if you go downwards? What does it feel like if you go slower? What does it feel like if you look at your hand versus not looking at your hand? So these are all ways for you to get your own kind of sexiness in there. This one I call the cuddle fist. So the cuddle fist is- The cuddle fist is a technique that's focused on the heads of the penis. And so basically you're making a fist and your hands are gonna be all lubed up. I'm gonna add more lube to my hands. And the cuddle fist is your wrapping sort of- Your focus is around from the base and underneath the head. And so that would be the base and underneath the head here. And then what we're doing is we're trying to create almost a suction with our fist. And so the move, it sort of looks like- It sort of looks like a stroke, but if I slow it down, it's a closing around, a grasping, and then sort of a pulling up. So your hand doesn't ever really leave, right? So it's sort of like, we're still giving pressure, even if you're doing it this way, if you're doing it pulling towards you, if you're going down on the cuddle fist, but this one is really effective in this type of motion. So wrapping your hand around one part of the shaft. And actually I'm gonna do it on a smaller penis so that it actually makes more sense. So this hand would be around one part of the shaft, and then this hand would sort of be moving it up. So this one can go really, really, really quickly, and can get someone super hard really quick, and they may feel that that's a little bit overstimulating, but then you can slow it down, and your hand is never really coming away. And so it's always having contact with the base of your hand. How does that one feel? How do you like the cuddle fist? Sounded like I was gonna punch it, but- (laughs) I do like punching dicks too. (laughs) Okay. Let's do- This one's called- So the cuddle fist, sorry. The cuddle fist also works the exact same way on a penis that is uncircumcised, and so you're either pulling the foreskin back as is comfortable, and then we're still keeping our hand attached to it. This one, actually I found, you know, you can use it when the penis is also not super erect. So if it's not super erect, I love this question around like how rough can you be with penises? So with penises that aren't erect, you can actually be a lot rougher. Like you can grab more, you can pull more, because the sensitivity isn't there yet. This is all just kind of like muscle, and when it's filled up with blood, that's where the sensitivity starts to increase. So you can try some of these techniques a little bit rougher on a penis that isn't erect, and it's not going to be painful in the same way if I came at, you know, this one like super rough. For people are who are really interested in rougher techniques, you can kind of start with a slower and then be like, "Babe, when you want me to go harder, I need you to tell me harder." Right? Or you can say, you can ask them, "Hey, like, you know, can I go harder? I kind of feel like going a little bit like rougher on you." And they will tell you when it doesn't feel good, because in the same way that if someone were to like, take teeth onto your unaroused clitoris, you're gonna tell them it's not gonna feel good. Right? Hopefully. Yes, looks looks more gentle than it sounds. Yeah, it does, it does. Looks good especially if your partner prefers focus on the head. For sure. Some people's heads are too sensitive, and they don't actually like a ton of focus. So for those people, you can- You don't really have to do cuddle fist, or you do it sort of slowly and gently. And it becomes more of like you're petting instead of like actually like dragging something. For folks that love it, you could go a little bit rougher, and remember rougher or more intense techniques with lube are less likely to cause kind of injury or pain, because the texture is mitigating the kind of muscle and the strength or the speed that you're putting into something. Okay, we have a couple more. So clasped fingers. So clasped fingers are- Let's do it on the small one again, 'cause I feel like this is unrealistic. But I'll show you it on the uncircumcised penis too. So clasped fingers are about taking the palms of your hands, so nice and lubed up. It's actually even sexy if like you warm them up or maybe you were like touching yourself first and your hands are all nice and warm, and you kind of like go over the penis and settle your palms around the shaft. And then you're gonna clasp your fingers. And so the head is gonna be popping out a little bit, or your thumbs, depending on the size of the person's penis and the size of your hands, your thumbs might be kind of nuzzling around the head of the penis, which is again, right, perfect for underneath the most sensitive parts of the penis. So the clasping, this is actually a technique of kind of encasing again, but this is a lot stronger than just having like two scissor fingers, right? So this is creating heat. This is creating pressure and this is creating this kind of consistent warmth that can make someone feel really, really excited. And so in this position, you're not making big strokes, right? I mean, if you have a giant 12 inch penis with you, maybe you're making like big strokes, but you know, with most penises, what we're doing is we're kind of like massaging without really going anywhere. And so this is a good one if you like spit, this is a good time to like spit on a penis and then kind of just like allow your fingers to massage around the head. This one, if you are- You can't do this one one-handed obviously, but let's say you're working with a penis that is smaller or is not as erect. You can still do it, right? So I'm still holding onto the penis, and instead of going up and down, maybe there's no room to do that. What I might do is go side to side. And so that side to side rolling along with the stimulation on the head can feel really, really yummy for someone. All right, so you've had twister, you had bouncing octopus, you had scissor fingers, anchor and stroke, cuddle fist, clasped fingers. And for clasped fingers on uncircumcised penises, it's actually very similar to the benefits of, of stroking, of the anchor and stroke, where we can use the foreskin. And so the foreskin actually becomes a part of the clasp. If you want to do the clasp or they want to do the clasp with their foreskin retracted, you can ask them to hold their foreskin, and then you're gonna clasp and you're gonna use the exposed part of the penis to give pleasure to. Alrighty. Oh, this poor foreskin. God, they need a version two of this dick. (laughs) Okay, well, we're done with these demos for now. We'll let it lube up over there. Maybe it just needs some time. When we're looking at one other technique that you can kind of mix in, whether it's on a uncircumcised penis or a circumcised penis, is you can kind of use your thumbs when you're in a position where you're holding or you're grasping. Or if you're grasping even with one hand, like your thumb is a different texture. So think about if you were to like suck on your thumb or a finger and then just like drag it slowly and around the penis while holding the shaft with your hand. That's a really good warmup move and it's hot as fuck, because you get to, you know, kind of like do a little bit of like a visual like "Mmm, yes, and this is like what we're gonna do tonight, right? Or like, "Mmm, I was just want to get my spit all over your penis." So that can be a way to sort of feel like that you are owning it, right? Like you're entering this intentionally. I like to use the thumbs as a little ritual. Like it's for me to be like, "Yeah, like I want to do this. Like, I'm gonna make this dick like, feel so amazing." And it allows you to kind of like find your thing to center on in all of this, in all of this hand pleasure. So I've got a couple more for you. So think about using your body in your hand jobs. And so if you- If you like, if you're a person is lying down and you want to straddle their thigh, or you want to straddle their shin, whatever's comfortable for them, and let them feel the warmth of your genitals, the warmth of between your legs on their body while you're giving them a hand job, you can also use your chest. So it doesn't actually matter what size of chest you have, but you can alternate between like having your hands and then putting your chest, resting it on their body, and kind of just like moving it over their lubed up penis. And so that looks visually delicious. If for you, if you have sensitive nipples, that's also a great way to kind of like rub your nipples on something and gyrate a little bit and get attention for yourself. So using other parts of your body can be really sexy. And someone mentioned, you know, kind of like integrating pleasure for the other parts of the body into hand jobs. Like when we learn a new skill, and this is everyone's challenge, we hyper focus on the area that we've learned the new skill about. And so this person has no other thing except for their penis. They have no other thing except for their anus. They have no other for whatever area that we're focusing on. So one thing to remember, and a way to get engaged in the rest of their body, is that when you're starting the hand job, like you've decided, they've decided it's hand job time, you're gonna make your way down to the hand job so painfully slow, right? And so that doesn't mean that you can only be sensual. Slow has nothing to do with- You can be slow and rough. You can be slow and powerful. You can be slow and submissive. You can be slow and sensual. You can be slow and sassy. You can be slow and sweet. Slowness is about creating tease for them. And when you create tease for them, they don't know exactly when you're gonna get to their hand job, and so you'll notice if you're starting to touch other parts of their body, they're already gonna start to get either erect or their breath is gonna change, or they're gonna get kind of excited, because you're allowing them an opportunity to be really present in their body because they don't know what's next. And so when you finally get down to the hand job, remember they've got inner thighs, right? Inner thighs are so sensitive. So you could drag your hands down their stomach, their, you know, lower belly around their penis, but then out their inner thighs, use your fingernails if they like that. You can kiss those areas. I love putting my face next to a penis, but I'm not gonna put it in my mouth, I'm gonna do something else. So giving that like tease, so it's like you go in and then, oh, you're like, "Oh, but look, I discovered your thighs." And then you're like, "Oh, your dick again." And then you come back to the dick. And so it gets to feel like you're creating a rhythm. It gets to feel like- Oh, it's starting to thunderstorm. I'm just gonna close my window. (laughs) And so it gets to feel like you're creating some sort of consistency in the seduction of it. And remember, this doesn't have to be like- You don't have to be like hand job heroes like every single time. Like once you start to wield that slowness and that sensation-based approach to their body, it actually just becomes something that makes you feel really sexy. You're like, "Mmm, I'm turning on my hand job hero power. I know what's coming next, right?" And when you're focused on their penis with your hands, and you're doing all these kinds of things, what you can do is when you want to pull away from that intensity of pleasure, is do a simple stroke that you're able to do, so do the bouncing octopus, take the other hand and then you can either do a perineum stroke or you can hold a vibrator against their perineum, or take the other hand and like move it up their body, just drag it all the way up their body. And all I'm doing is like massaging the head. So you could do even, you could do the cuddle fist. Oh, it's stuck to the table. You could do the cuddle fist while you're moving like this hand all the way up their body. How many of you like eye contact? Who's into eye contact? I feel like eye contact is one of the sexiest things that- Yeah, I love like- It's like eye fucking, you know? It can make you feel super shy, super awkward, but because it's so intense, right? It's so intense to be seen and to see someone. And so you could play with eye contact. That's another way to connect the rest of the body. And so you could be focusing on the penis, and then maybe you just kind of like look up a little bit, make eye contact, and then like go back down to like whatever you're doing. If you don't want to be looked at while you're trying out like the bouncing octopus or whatever, give your partner a blindfold, if they're comfortable being blindfolded. That way you don't have to be watched while you're like, "Okay, Luna said the bouncing octopus. Okay, I'm gonna try the octopus." You know? And so you can actually approach it in a way that it's about like, we're focusing on this sensation tonight. So I want to take away this sense to heighten the rest of your other senses. Okay. So that was using the rest of your body. And then I've got three more for you, but I'm just gonna check out your questions here. Looks good, especially if your partner- Okay, sorry, I read that one. Erectile tissue beyond the penis in the body. Are these also utilizing that? Yeah, so anytime that you're grasping the base of the penis, that's gonna give some stimulation into the boomerang part of the penis that's inside the body. It depends on the position, but if you're pressing against that, so if you're grasping sort of behind the balls at the base of the penis, and you're using this part of your hand to like press against the body, sometimes it presses onto their bladder, and so it can feel like they have to pee. So we want just the pressure to be in our fingers and less on against the side of their body, like pressing against their body. Alrighty. All right. Partners is, and I'm too shy. I take off my glasses during sex. That's so good, that's so good. Then you're like, "Huh, don't know what's happening. Don't know if it's hot or not, but it feels good." Because a lot of sex we've been told is like so performative. And we focus on like, "Oh, like I should look and sound a certain way in sex." When most of us actually sound a lot more guttural and primal during sex. We don't sound like uh, uh, that's porn. That's intended for us to have a particular emotion and reaction to that sound. It's sensationalized in produced porn. So for us, sometimes it's hard to get out of that, because we haven't seen real people have real sex, right? Like we're still all just kind of clumsily trying to you know, mimic those kinds of possibilities, right? Okay. And Krima, I want to answer your questions. So this is a question that might be relevant for lots of you too. So this idea of being rough and not knowing if it's okay to be rough. I think this is an opportunity to also talk about, you know, or to engage in communication. And so using that simple kind of like, "Wwell, should I like turn this up a notch? Is this good? Or do you need it like good?" And getting them to even put their hand on top of your hand and show you like how rough they like it. Remember too, that the way that they touch their bodies is not necessarily going to be the exact same recreation. We're just looking for like, hints about what direction to go. We're not looking to create their same, you know, calloused hands that they've known like since they were like five and like become their fists. Like we're actually giving them a different kind of pleasure. Then that's why, you know, it's really important for, you know, for us to maintain these sexual relationships to ourself and then have partnered sex as well. When a partner orgasms, unsure whether to stop touching them. So this one, I really- This is a really good question. So this also depends on the person. So some people like to keep the stroke going after orgasm, but slower and not on the head. And so the head becomes too sensitive after orgasm for most people. Excuse me. Especially for penises that are uncircumcised, like the head is gonna be too sensitive. So what you're doing is, let's say you're doing this, and this like makes them orgasm and your hand's like all full of jizz, what you can do is just start to like slowly stroke around here. Right? And so you're just gonna slowly stroke the shaft in sort of a gentle, not a lot of pressure and just avoid the most sensitive areas. Because it is abrupt if you're like, they come and then you're like, "Whoa!" And you just like dive out of the way and like abandon their dick. So we want to stay with the pleasure, but we don't want to add extra sensation to super sensitive areas. Okay. Definitely more primal sounds for you. Yes, me too. My partner is older and has a softer erection, so hand jobs and re-introducing him to sex, pleasure for just him, I'm into this to bring him back into pleasure. Yeah, that's awesome. That's why I like cock massages. I had a partner where I would give him a full body massage and then I would give him a cock massage, and the combination of arousing all of these other parts of his body that get ignored, so thighs and knees and shoulders and chest and backs all have a lot of nerve endings, and getting someone into that relaxed state and then giving them a cock massage for like 10 or 15 minutes or whatever's comfortable, that sometimes can contribute to full body orgasms, where they feel the orgasm in their penis, but they feel a sensation like that is orgasmic in the rest of their body. So if you are dealing with someone that has softer erections or has kind of fickle erections, that's totally fine. Hand jobs are a great place to have that, because a penis does not need to get erect for a hand job. And it is not a sign of a successful hand job that it's erect. It is you're here to kind of give this pleasure in a way that feels good for both of you. Yes, that's also a misconception that you're just trying to mimic their hand. Yeah, and I think some of us have had experiences where it feels like they're just trying to tell us how to mas- I definitely have. I've had experiences where I'm like, "Huh, so I'm just here to like, do you the way you do you, and like, this is not fun for me." Sometimes it was fun in that there were other things that made it fun, but if it sort of isolated into like, "Oh yeah, like I love jerking off. I just want you to jerk me off." You know, it depends how you feel about it. If that's sexy for you, if it feels spontaneous, if it feels giving, you feel of service, you feel like playful, do it. That's totally fine. But that shouldn't be the default narrative around hand jobs. We're not sort of just replacing their hand. We're giving a lot more intimacy and creativity into that. Okay, so I've got three more techniques for you. And so this one is a hand to mouth one. And so if your partner does like BJs, this is actually really good if your partner likes deep throating and you don't like deep throating, because porn has basically told us that deep throating is like the epitome of blow jobs, and it is not. So I just explained to you penis anatomy, right? Where is the most sensitive part of the penis? Not here. So a lot of times deep throating is around like the visual of it. It could also be around the feeling of like, kind of that encasement. And so your warm mouth, your warm throat, sort of captured around the penis. But hand jobs, hand job, hand mouth combos are a great way to kind of mimic that. And so now we know where to grasp the penis. So we're grasping on this model, I mean, I'm grasping- You can grasp behind the balls. You can grasp like around the balls. My circumcised penis doesn't have balls, but we're grasping at the base. And you can either hold onto the base and do things with your mouth and this hand where your mouth and your hand are actually a continuation of each other, so they become like a tunnel. And so your hand is going down and then your mouth is going down with it, right? And so I'm not gonna do that, 'cause I have to talk, but your mouth would go down and follow your hand. You can also create even more sensation by holding on, like covering the shaft with one hand and then using your sort of like the cuddle fist, right? So we're gonna cuddle around it and then bringing it down and again, like using your mouth. And so your hand is mainly focused on this area. You're keeping this one still, and we're just going down and kind of moving with it. Hand jobs are also fun if you're kind of doing it up this way, you can take a break. So for those of you that struggle with pacing and with like figuring out like what to do next, you're gonna do a technique long enough that you can get a rhythm and a buildup to see if it's even doing anything. And so there's no pressure. Like I wouldn't be sitting here counting, being like, "Okay, I've done this for 15 strokes. Doesn't seem to be working. Should move on." You're gonna do it for a little bit and be like, "Babe, do you like that?" And if they're like, "Oh yeah, it feels so good." Or if they're kind of like, "Mmm," and you've learned their pleasure responses. You can also decide like, 'Okay, I'm gonna switch to something else." And then if this was working better, then go back to this. Right? And so take the pressure off of yourself to be the kind of producer of the hand job. You are here to offer a hand job. You are here to offer pleasure. You're here to offer intimacy, playfulness, relaxation, connection. And so that can be the, the mixing up of the hand and the mouth, that can be a good way to have pacing as well. So you can be stroking for a bit, and then maybe I spit on it and I'm like licking around the head. Now it's all like wet again. Maybe I used flavored lube and I'm eating like a caramel latte dick. And then we're gonna like move the hand with the spit or with the lube and move it down. And so you get to kind of alternate between hand and mouth. That also helps folks that are not so crazy about blow jobs or their jaw gets tired, or they just find it overwhelming to try and do more coordinated moves. So you can do them in alternate. So do this for a bit and then maybe like lick, make it nice and wet and then do something again. Any of the lubes that I showed you are safe to ingest and they're tasteless. So they don't actually taste like anything. They're not gonna taste chemical. Or like, if you were to put some sort of medical lube in your mouth. How do we feel about hand and mouth? Do we like hand and mouth combos? I feel like they're fun. Like they help me pace a little bit, because I tend to rush through things. I'm like bouncing octopus, okay, cuddle fist. And so I like mixing doing one thing and then like doing something with my mouth and then doing something again. I find that that's pretty helpful. All right. The other two that I'm gonna talk about actually have to do with butts and prostates and then positions. But I want to mention for all of these eight that we've talked about. So you have eight techniques, but you actually have like way more than that, because any of those techniques, you can mix up with speed, with pressure, with rhythm and with direction. So all of them have these like infinite kind of combinations. You can also play with things like temperature. So if you were doing a hand/mouth combo, and you spit on the dick and you started stroking a little bit, and then you (exhales) onto it, that's gonna give it a completely different sensation. You can play with ice cubes. You can play with cooling lubes. You can play with warming lubes. I would stay away from weed lubes if you're doing hand jobs, because some weed lubes- If your partner is hypersensitive, if they, you know, two strokes and like, they've come, weed lubes are good because for penises, they actually relax the muscle. And so if someone struggles with erections already or getting hard, weed lubes are not a good idea to use on their penis. But you can use them if someone is a little bit too sensitive. You can also do that by adding a condom. That will decrease some of the sensitivity. Okay, I don't really understand what cock massage is. So it's instead of stroking, we're massaging the penis. So those techniques are more focused on massage and less focused on like milking an orgasm out of someone. So it's a change both in the technique and in the intention behind it, and so what you're trying to do. What lubes are good, more natural if you're moving from hand job to blow job? Some tastes very chemical. Caramel lube got- Yes. So Wicked, Wicked is a brand of lubes that it's safe for vulvas because- It's a safe flavored lube for vulvas. So if you want to sit on that penis afterwards, don't put anything on it that, unless you're gonna use a condom on it after, don't put anything on it that might also transfer into your body, and if you're already prone to UTIs or yeast infections, flavored lubes that have sugar or glycerin, usually it's written as glycerin in it, are not gonna be good for your body. So Wicked is actually flavored with Stevia, and so it's totally safe and they taste amazing. They don't taste like those cough syrupy kind of strawberry lubes. They taste like, I have a pink lemonade one. I ate a pink lemonade asshole, it was great. So you can use those types of lubes. You're gonna find those at sex positive sex shops. You're not gonna find them like on sort of bigger, more commercial sex brands. I have a code for you for a local feminist sex shop to save 15%. So I mean, lube is a good thing to just stock up on. I'm gonna include that in your notes for you. You liked hand/mouth. Okay, great. That's the only thing you can pace, amazing. Never thought of a direction like to the side and upward. Yeah, it's hard to get imaginative with it, because we've just seen this. Right? Like we haven't seen really anything else. Okay, so I just want to mention before we close up. Butts and prostate. So for some people, they really enjoy having the combo pleasure of a hand job and either external anal play or even a finger or a toy in their penis or in their anus. And so do you have to kind of gauge the level of comfort with your partner and have that discussion. Nobody should be touching anybody's butt until like permission and consent has been given. It's not fun to be kind of surprised. There's no such thing as surprise anal, basically. That's what our- lube is life, and there's no such thing as surprise anal. But if your partner is into butt stuff, I'm gonna show you two butt plugs that are really good to be inside. So you're looking for butt plugs that don't take up too much space inside of their body. So this is from Njoy and I'm gonna put these in your notes for you. So the Njoy butt plug, and this one is the B-Vibe butt plug. And what I like about B-Vibe is that it has a freakin' remote control. So you can put this in your partner's butt, give them the remote, and then you can focus on your hand job and they can control their butt pleasure, right? Or when they're jerking off, if they're doing a little show for you, you can hold on to the remote and control the pleasure in their butt. This also has a YouTube or an app, and so a Bluetooth app so you can connect with that as well. This one is great because it's curved in a way. So this is straighter. This is not necessarily gonna stimulate the prostate. But this is curved in a way that it would hit the prostate and provide that kind of firm pressure to it. So you could be rocking this in their penis while you're doing something, you know, with your hand, right? So you could do cuddle fist and like put this in their penis, in their anus. Why do I keep saying penis? Anus. It's 'cause it's not a butt stuff night. I'm just talking about dicks tonight. Okay. With position. So positions is another area where you can mix things up. Are there particular positions you like to give hand jobs in? Is this something- Do you like it when your partner's like lying down? Do you like it when they're standing up? Think about like, you could even come from behind and start to play with them and playing through their clothing or through their underwear is a good way to start a hand job, right? Because you're creating tease. And so maybe you're just grabbing, massaging, stroking, you know, playing with it. And then maybe you go away, and they're cooking dinner, and you're like, "Yeah, I'll see that later. You know, I'll see you in the cuddle fist later." And so thinking about like all the different ways that you can play with someone. A hand job can be given if they are on all fours. So that might be a position that they feel really sexy in and you can reach around them and or stroke between their legs and stroke their penis that way, and it's almost like you're milking a cow, but you now have techniques other than just this, right? Them standing up is also a fun one. Them sitting on a chair with their legs spread. You can also do hand jobs in a 69 position. So you could be sitting on their face, and for some people, this modified 69 is actually more fun than a regular 69, because they find it kind of intimidating or the height difference is like not good, and you just can't be on each other. So if you're kind of leaning a little bit up, but a little bit forward, and then you've maybe got one hand to balance you, and then you've got your other hand. I had a partner where I could see when his toes were starting to like curl, and I was like, "Oh yeah, we're close, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna back off because I want this to last." (laughs) So you can start to notice parts of their body, or maybe they start to react in a certain way to giving you head while they're playing. If you need stimulation too, remember, you can put toys inside you, you can hold toys against yourself. You can be in a position where they're lying down and you're on all fours, and would have your butt close to their face, and then your hands are working them and their hands are free. So their hands can reach around and touch your nipples or your genitals or your anus and give you pleasure while you're giving them pleasure. So mix up those positions. It totally keeps it interesting versus like flop and you know, like here, it's hand job time. All right, never thought of direction. Like, oh, sorry, that one I already read. Always feel like he is lying down. I want to try it with him standing up. Yes, so if you want to try it with him standing up, start to give that flirtation. Start to leave those breadcrumbs of sexiness like when he is standing up. And so when he's standing up, you could even come behind him and start to touch him and say, "You know, I would love to stroke you while you're in this position, like while you're standing up and I get to kneel down and look up at you. I think that'd be so hot." And so when we create like sexual changes or prompts or breadcrumbs outside of our sexual experiences, sometimes it's less intimidating. It's a little bit easier to communicate with all of like the hormones and the hotness happening. So that can be a fun way to kind of mix things up. All right, so I'm gonna give you- How many- Oh, I already told you a lot of the pro tips. I have two pro tips left for you. One tip is called- How many of you have heard of the technique called edging? Have you heard of edging? So edging can be done on anybody's body. Yes, yes, yes. How do we feel about edging? Do we like edging? You've heard of it? Okay, I'm gonna explain it. Amazing, you're curious, cool. Love it, okay, all right. So I love giving edging. I don't like receiving it, because I'm an instant gratification person. And so edging is about using a technique or a rhythm that is continuous, and you're taking the person to close to orgasm, but when you get to that vibration, like sometimes the penis vein will vibrate or you know their certain mode or move or sound they're making, they're about to come, or they tell you, you know, I'm gonna come soon. Then what you want to do is you back off of that pleasure that is going to take them to orgasm. So backing off doesn't mean stroke, stroke, stroke, you're about to come, and you're like, "Oh, look at my nails. I haven't done my nails yet." It means that you're gonna stroke, stroke, stroke, I'm about to come, and I slow it down. And maybe I'm gonna move to a different part of the penis that isn't as sensitive. That might also mean that I take a complete break, but I exit by like just like dragging my fingers, dragging out. Maybe I look up and make eye contact. Maybe I come back in and then, "Oh, here we are again." So what this does is it actually deepens their perception and their experience of the sensations that you're giving, because we're bringing it to an almost boiling point, but then we're letting it simmer, right? So we're not taking it over the top. This is actually the point where some people with penises can train themselves to have multiple orgasms. So in both vulvas and penises, orgasm and ejaculation are separate events. In penises, they happen seconds apart, but they are separate events. So someone of the penis could potentially ejaculate or have an orgasm without ejaculating. And so they can retain erection. They can retain their hardness without losing the ability to orgasm or the opportunity to orgasm. So it's this point of right before orgasm, where we have to learn or they have to learn it, because the way that you give a multiple is that when they're about to come, they actually have to practice this on their own first, because it's such a specific point, and they have to learn to control that point between orgasm and ejaculation. And so it's about kind of squeezing. Ugh, this one's all dried up. So it's about squeezing just under the head, and during right before ejaculation, and so that squeeze is actually gonna pinch the urethra. And so the urethra is where urine and semen comes out of. And so pinching that allows the body to experience orgasm without ejaculating. So that's like next level, right? You can tell your partner about it and tell him to try practicing what that might be like if they're masturbating, and if they can kind of like pay attention to like, what does it feel like in that moment, you know, before orgasm? They'd have to sort of tune into it and then give you information about it. And my other favorite thing. I'm actually gonna be giving away some of these in my November newsletter. So if you're not on my newsletter list, get on there. I want to give you some cock sleeves. So these are called masturbation sleeves. So you can see how on the inside they're kind of textured. They've got like ridges. And then on the outside, mine's a little bit dirty, because they do pick up a lot of like hair and stuff. So what we do with these is we put some lube on the inside and we put them over the head of the penis. I'm gonna bring you back down. And so this becomes a sleeve, so that warm, wet lube and that like textured pattern on the inside, it actually becomes like a little jerk off sleeve. So it sounds horrible. I feel we could do like ASMR with this. (squishing) (laughs) But that's also because it's on a dildo, but like on skin and on flesh, this can feel super, super good. So this is very similar to- It's basically a smaller version of like fleshlights. So those masturbation cases that people with penises can use to jerk off into. It's supposed to simulate the inside of an orifice, so an anus or a vagina. And these are usually- You can use them a few uses. You just wash them out afterwards, but they're super fun. And you can also use them on penises that are uncircumcised. So you actually put it, you can put it over and use it so it gives that sensation, or you can retract the foreskin and then use it on just like even the top of the head, right? That's even gonna make it a super fun sensation. So they're fairly inexpensive. I'm giving away this brand, this like Tenga Egg. So they're called Tenga Eggs. I'll put these in your notes as well for you. All right. The last thing I want to show you- I lied, so last thing I want to show you is cock rings. So cock rings, if your person wants to maintain a harder or a longer erection, cock rings are super great for that. They're not to be worn for more than like 20 or 30 minutes. So they trap the erection that's already in the penis. They trap that pressurized blood there a little bit longer or a little bit harder. So for hand jobs, this might be fun. So putting it on there and having a harder or a more erect penis can allow you to do things that you might not get to do, or you want to move the penis to a different stage in order to do different things. Cock rings are also usually really inexpensive. And if you get one that has like a vibrator on it, cock rings can also be magically used on everybody's body. So they can be used for fingering too. So if you have a vagina, someone can finger you with a cock ring and the vibration of it is going to stimulate the outside of your vagina, potentially your clitoris too. All right, fun times, right? Toys for penises. A lot of toys for penises. I feel like penises don't get enough attention for all of their toys. All right, so thank you everyone for being here tonight, all you hand job- Did we decide we're hand-job heroes? Is that who we are? (laughs) Okay, good, good, I'm so glad. I'm so, so glad you had a good- Yes, HJH, yes. We need like outfits. I feel like we need outfits or at least capes. I don't know. If it's not too much to ask, give me a hand job cake. Cape and cake. Okay, you get a cake too. So in your notes, I'm gonna include the lubes I talked about, the toys I talked about, and the discount code, if you don't want to wait for me and you want to go explore on your own, it's at goodforher.com and you can use LUNA15, and that will get you 15% off your purchase, everything but workshops. I'm so glad you all had such a great time. I'm really, really glad. I'm glad that you showed up tonight. I'm glad that you showed up for yourself. I hope that you can get more pleasure out of giving and these communication skills that we learned in things that are simple like hand jobs can help us when things get more complex or more unfamiliar if you're venturing into kink or you're disclosing trauma, or you're, you know, trying to deepen intimacy in some way. It's really cool to take these skills and extrapolate them into other situations where we can benefit from more communication. Thank you so much, and so what have I got coming up next? If you're not doing anything on Halloween, I'm gonna be having a costume party online and a role play. So if you're interested in role play or dirty talk, come out to that. And then I have rough sex next week. So if you're into rough sex, if you're into rougher things, I'm gonna be teaching folks how to have rough sex safely. And I'm actually, I'm gonna stop the webinar, but you guys hang out for a second. How many of you use lube for a handjob? Are you using any kind of lube? Hopefully by the end of it, your hand job hero, you know, package that you're gonna set up for yourself is gonna include lube. Because we'll talk about- I got some lubes here that I'm gonna recommend for you that are specifically good for a hand job, and maybe not as great for other types of activities. Yeah, hand job hero. Do you want to be called something else? Do you want to be called like hand job harlots? Do we want to be called like hand job, I don't know. I feel like I need alliteration. That's just my thing. It also depends on how your partner pleasures themselves and what they're used to. I had a partner once that used to masturbate with like mustard, like yellow mustard. When I saw it, I was like, "Oh my God, your poor penis." Like, isn't that spicy? Like I dunno. So we'll talk about proper lubes. (laughs) Yes. Is that especially the case for uncircumcised penises? Actually all penises should be using lube for hand jobs, because uncircumcised penises- Like that's a good question. Let's do the anatomy part and figure out like what we're talking about here. So let's start with uncircumcised penises. Please ignore that I ripped the foreskin on this. So this uncircumcised penis, I'm gonna put some lube in here so that I can move the foreskin. But uncircumcised penises, there is more lubrication naturally on them inside of the foreskin versus penises that are that have been circumcised. And so while they have some natural lubrication, remember that the skin around the penis, the foreskin, it can actually retract, right? And so for some people, it retracts all the way. For some people, the connection is a little bit tighter. We need some more lube in here, I'm calling in some lube. And so it's actually not enough lube to be considered useful for a hand job, and especially once the foreskin has retracted or been pulled back a bit, the part that's exposed, it's not like it keeps self-lubricating. The lubrication is inside of the foreskin. So if this is down here, this is eventually gonna dry up, right? So on our penis with a foreskin, the foreskin is attached at the most sensitive part of the penis on both circumcised and uncircumcised penises, so that's the frenulum. So the frenulum is this little part here that is like a little V, and then it to this really big sort of vein down the middle of the penis. So on someone with a foreskin, you may not see it until the foreskin is retracted. And one of the considerations for people who are uncircumcised is that we don't want to kind of come in and just like jam the foreskin back, right? So you may ask them to either hold the foreskin back for you or to, you know, like how far do you like this? Like what's comfortable for you? And just go slow. Some people have a very tight attachment, and so it can feel very painful to have it pulled past what the comfort level is for this. So we're just trying to learn this body. So you can actually use the foreskin as you start warming up with some of the techniques that we'll sort of be doing. And I will mention which ones are different for penises with foreskins and penises without foreskins. So I'm just gonna move to my giant pink cock. And so just so that we can see some of the other anatomy that's not visible with my foreskin penis. So when we're looking at the frenulum. Down the middle of the penis, this is what we call the shaft of the penis, right? So this whole area between the head of the penis and the base of the penis is the shaft. So the shaft tends to not be as sensitive as other parts of the penis, the head of the penis and the frenulum and underneath the rim of the penis. So think about when you're putting your hands, it's not necessarily that beneficial to always focus all of your energy on the shaft. And so you could have one hand holding onto the shaft and another hand doing something to the top of the penis, where the most sensitivity is. So we'll learn techniques that allow you to layer and build that kind of pleasure. All right. So in our shaft, what we've got is two columns of erectile tissue. So both penises and clitorises have erectile tissue, which means that once our brain gets turned on or our body gets turned on, there are arousal cues that are sent to the rest of our body to open up blood vessels and increase blood flow. So essentially an erection is the blood flow has reached and started to pressurize the shaft. And so we've got a firmer erection. This doesn't mean that you can't- I'm using this one to show an unerect penis. So it doesn't mean that you can't use a hand job on unerect penises. Some people don't get hard from hand jobs, but they enjoy the pleasure, the sensation, watching it, the intimacy, the buildup. And so if someone's struggles with erectile dysfunction, or they just don't get hard from that, or it requires a different overall body arousal, and then they start to show erection, that's totally normal. It doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. It doesn't mean that, you know, your skills are not that good. It could just mean that that's not the type of pleasure that- Now I've wiped lube on my face. So now I've got lube and sweat on my face. So when we think about the rest of the penis, when we move here- So society kind of makes us think that the penis ends as soon as it touches the person's body, but the penis is actually more like in a boomerang kind of shape. So there is a part of the erectile tissue that is inside of the body. So there's a stem to the penis that is inside the body. And so pressing against the body or engaging at the base of the penis with pressure can often feel like really pleasurable, because it's getting at that root of the penis. Then we've got testicles. How do we feel about testicles? Do we like testicles? Like, what's up with testicles? I feel like some people don't really know like what to do with testicles or, how to play with them. You love them? Okay, great, great, awesome. All right, amazing. Cute accessories. You guys love to play with the accessories. How to play, love to play with them. I always ask how sensitive they are. And that's a great question to ask, yes. Just learning to play with them. They're so soft. Yeah, they totally are. I don't know what to do with them, really. No idea. Okay, cool. All right, all right. So we've got a range of this, but that was some good enthusiasm around testicle pleasure. Amazing. So with testicles, we actually- So testicles, we often refer to them as like one whole part, but when we're talking about pleasure anatomy, there actually are several spots on testicles that we can play with. So testicles are inside the scrotum. So unfortunately on my dildo, I can't grab the skin, but with the scrotal skin, the scrotal sack for some people is very sensitive. And so you can just play with the sack without necessarily touching the testicles. And so massaging the sack, playing with the skin in the same way that if you were, if you have a vulva and you were to touch your labia, so you can practice kind of playing with your labia, and that's the same kind of motions that you would play with testicles or with the scrotal sack. The actual testicles, some people like pressure on them. Some people like them sorta cupped. Some people like them pulled gently. Some people like them kind of massaged upward. Some people like the space right underneath the testicles, because it's sweaty, it's warm, it rarely gets touched. It can be a really sensitive area. The raphe or the raphe is the seam that looks like you could unzip the scrotal sack and the balls would come falling out. So that seam for some people is really sensitive. So touching that, dragging a fingernail along that, dragging a knuckle along that, that can all be a part of your hand job. Some of those spots are less sensitive. And then the most sensitive spots are probably the head and the balls, but in different ways. So the reason why balls are so sensitive is because their nerve endings actually are really deep into the body that are close to around the intestinal nerve endings. And so that's why when they receive pleasure from pulling or pressure on their balls, or it feels really painful, it's because it's a deep kind of feeling. So think about if you have a cervix and you've ever had your cervix bumped during fingering, or a toy or a penis inside of you, and it feels like you got punched in the gut, our cervix is also connected to deep intestinal nerve endings, so it's the same kind of feeling. And so for some people that intense feeling is awesome. And for other people, it's like way too much. It'll make them feel nauseous or they're just like, completely turns them off. So it is a good idea to even just say, "Oh, like, do you like your balls played with?" That's all you need to ask. And then you can try starting with the less sensitive areas, like the scrotal sack, and then moving up and before you can give a gentle bit of pressure and say like, "Oh, do you like that? Or do you want it a little bit firmer? Do you want me to like, rub them or stroke them?" And so giving really simple answers for them to respond to for anybody, this is a really good strategy to start getting communication. Binary questions. Harder, softer, faster, slower, right? And so that gives you a little bit of a temperature taking on "Hmm, like what do I do next?" Or "Where do I go from here?" Or "Can I do this thing?" And some people like to, if you're really familiar with your partner, or you have a dynamic where you communicate a lot non-verbally, so you could also do things and then seek feedback. And so, you know, start to squeeze or start to massage and then say, "Oh, do you like that? 'Cause you liked that last time. That felt really good." Or "Are you in the mood for this?" Sometimes what someone liked one time is not what they're in the mood for for that time too. Okay, so now that we've got our penis anatomy, I just want to mention two surrounding areas. So who's a fan of the anus? Is anyone a fan of anal pleasure? If you know me, I'm totally- I saw Jen's hand go up, okay. I'm totally an anal, you know, adventurer. And I really enjoy anal play on giving anal play and receiving anal play, because it is part of, it's an erogenous zone. It's like the gender equalizer, right? Like everyone has a butthole, so it has the potential for pleasure, and it doesn't necessarily have to be penetrative pleasure. So you're a recent convert, amazing. Oh, good, good, I'm so glad, Krima. I'm trying to get my partner to be more open to it. Yeah, okay. And no, okay. So yeah, you don't have to be into it. So just know that sometimes people with penises, especially if they identify as men, if they identify as heterosexual, you know, there's a lot of homophobia around butt play that is just homophobic. Like it actually has nothing to do with whether or not it feels good for them, but if there's an emotional connection to it that might make them feel unmasculine or that it says something about their sexuality. So, you know, you kind of putting out pleasure options in a way that is not about obligation. You're not like, "Hey, the only way you're gonna get a good hand job is if I can be in your butthole." You're gonna say, "Hey, you know, if you want me to play with your butthole, like I can totally do some stuff on the outside of it." And so no penetration. We're just talking about the nerve endings around the butthole. If this is your butthole, all those cute little crinkles, you can do things with your knuckles, holding a toy against it. The perineum, so the space between the anus and the testicles. What other words do you know for perineum? Taint, is taint one of them? Tell me, I love hearing people's words for perineum. I don't know, this is like a little, this is my kink. All the different words around, for perineums. My favorite is nacho, because it's nacho ass and it's nacho dick. So that space, that little space there is where we can actually access- We can access the prostate with gentle pleasure. And so it's not the same as if you were to put fingers or a toy inside the anus to get at the prostate. But if you're giving a hand job, and you've got another hand free, using your knuckles and massaging upwards, and so upwards is towards the anterior part of the body, so towards the belly button, up and in, that's gonna give you access to a little gentle stimulation to the prostate while you're stroking. And so that can make you feel like, or it can make your partner feel like they're getting this blended pleasure. So it's very similar to if someone was touching a clitoris and they were also gently putting pressure around the G-spot area, but not directly on it. Okay. Gooch, yes, gooch, yes, absolutely. That's another one, yes. I've heard choda. I can't remember what other ones I've heard. So many good ones. I want to like paint a wall with just like all the other names for perineums. Alrighty. So since we're in communication, before we get into some of the hand job helpers and some of the techniques, we talked a little bit about these binary questions. So let me know if there's anything else that you find that's difficult to communicate during hand jobs and we can speak to those, but for those of you who kind of feel, you know, I'm just not sure like if they like it, like if this is like pleasure that's good for them, you can do two things. So one of them is you can do, you know, teach me to touch you. And so this could be about putting your hands on top of their hand while they're stroking, and then doing something else together, so kissing or neck kissing or nipple play, or eye gazing or something like that. It doesn't feel so awkward as it's like, you're just focusing on that one skill, but you're creating sort of a sensual connection between some other type of sexual activity and this like teaching moment where you're basically holding hands on top of their penis. And so that can be really sexy if you want to kind of learn, like, are they stroking in this direction? Are they just stroking the head? Are they pulling towards their stomach? Are they pulling to the left? Are they pulling to the right? So, you know, get them to masturbate with your hand on top of them. You can also do a little show and tell. If you've got a partner that is, maybe you don't live with them all the time and you want to do some like sexy video chat things, or if you are with them in person, and you can say like, "Hey, like, do you want to do a little bit of a show and tell? Like, I can watch you touch yourself." And that can be super exciting if you're a voyeur, so someone who really enjoys the aesthetics or performance of sex. And for your partner, if they're an exhibitionist, they get to show off a little bit and you get to watch how they're touching themselves. You can also join in. You could put on a show and they could put on a show and it's called mutual masturbation, and you can learn about the ways that you both touch yourselves and then replicate that. So that's a little bit of a visual learning without having to sit down and being like, "So tell me exactly where on your penis you like to be touched." Right? Which feels prescriptive. It feels kind of cold. And it's okay to ask in that way too. It's okay in a non-sexy time to say, "Hey, you know, I love giving you hand jobs, but I'm not really sure what to do. Like, what do you like?" And they might say, "Oh, I like everything you're doing, everything you're doing is fine." And you're kind of left like, "Well, but I don't know. I'm just guessing like when I'm doing this." So if they give an answer that is vague or just like sweet and enthusiastic but not informative, you might want to give contrast. So you might say, "Hey, do you like it when I'm playing just with your head? Do you like a firmer stroke? Do you like a softer stroke? Did you like that thing that I did with whatever? Did you like this? Did you like that?" That gives them sometimes an opportunity to respond to a specific moment while knowing there were other moments that they also enjoyed. And so sometimes our partners need this reassurance that we're not gonna feel rejected. We're not gonna feel bad. I am genuinely curious about how to give this penis that I like more pleasure. And you can welcome, you can also open up the conversation around your pleasure too, and be like, "Hey, like, I'm happy to talk about like, you know, other things that I like or things I want to try." So you can make it a conversation that's bigger than just about, you know, getting like a one, two, three about how to give them a better hand job. It could be like, "Did you like when I was kissing your neck and stroking you? 'Cause I thought that was so hot." And give your feedback too, and that can sometimes help model the way that you want to have the conversation. Gooch, oops, I already read the gooch one. Need to do a whole course on- Yes, yes, it's a popular one. I teach bedroom communication. And at first I was like, "Oh, people want sexy things like BJ's." But that class was full. Like people were like, "I don't know how to ask for what I want. I don't know how to, you know, figure out if what I'm doing is right." And that's totally understandable. We're not taught that sex is something that we need to communicate about. We're just taught that it's like, well, you just do the thing. But it's communication like any other kind of human interaction. And that's where we've lost a lot of our conversations around consent that are not just about, "I don't want you to, you know, do something," or "I don't want to do something and then I'm gonna get in trouble." It's more about like, "How can I give you the pleasure that you like, right?" Like I should be here trying to get and give you the pleasure that you like and communicate the pleasure that I like. So hand jobs are a great place to do this, because there is a lot of focus on- Your bodies might be a little bit separate. You might be hyper-focused on this one thing. You might be doing multiple things. Yep, absolutely. There's so much room for improvement in all of our bedroom communication. All right, so another one that falls under communication before we go into hand job helpers, and let me know how you feel about like, the show and tell, how you feel about nonverbal communication. If there are specific verbal things that you want to be able to phrase in a way. This is the place to be able to get this inspiration. The other thing I think, and someone kind of mentioned it, like you know, a hand job is just like, "Oh, okay, just do it and get your mouth on it." Right? Or "Just do it so then I can get hard and we can have penetrative sex." So sometimes a hand job is something on the way to something else and, great. That can be really great too, if that's what you also want. I sometimes find, and it actually takes me out of the moment. And if so if you're someone that struggles with being in the moment, if you're someone who kind of gets into your head and out of your body, this is the type of thing that can get you out of the moment, because your body is noticing, or your self, your sense of pleasure is noticing, "Hey, like we're just doing this thing again to get to that other thing. Like, I'm not even like into this." And we won't say that, right? Most of us won't say that, 'cause we don't want to hurt our partner's feelings. We don't want to seem like we're taking up too much space. Even when I'm having hookups and sex with strangers, you know, pre-COVID then like, I sometimes felt like, "Oh, I don't want to be a bitch." 'Cause we're taught that speaking up about our pleasure is being a bitch or being difficult or being too much or being drama, and it's not. It actually benefits both people, but it's difficult. So if you feel any shame around it, that's shame that we learned and we can definitely unlearn that. So, you know, if your hand jobs are leading to blow jobs too quickly, if your hand job feels like it's just about like jerking them off so they have like a different hand, you can kind of think about like, what am I in the mood for? Am I in the mood for a quickie? Am I in the mood for something that's like a breadcrumb to a blow job? Am I in the mood for a cock massage? Am I in the mood to like, you know, really like get into this in a sensual kind of marathon kind of way? And so knowing what kind of pleasure that you want, you get to ask for it. And so it actually brings more enthusiasm to your partner because you're doing your thing and whatever, and then all of a sudden you're like, "Yeah, like I just want to like get you off." Or "I want to get you hard so that we can fuck." Or "I want to get you like so riled up for like 20 minutes and then see where I'm at." So ask for the pleasure that you want to give. Ask for the options or present the options that you are comfortable giving. And if your partner is used to a particular pattern, if it's like sort of two strokes and then they're like, "Oh babe, like, put your mouth on it." You can say, "Oh, I'm just like really into this. This is so fucking hot watching you get hard in my hand, and like, I just want to do this a little bit longer. Is that okay with you?" And so once we put it out in a way with like, "But I'm really enjoying this and like you look like you're enjoying this," and people just get used to like routine. We get used to like, "Oh, you kiss my mouth, you touch my boobies, and then maybe you go down on me and then we do P and V, right?" And so we have this like very limiting way of having sex and an order of sex and also a very penis-centered, orgasm-centered way of having sex. And it doesn't really benefit anybody, not even people with penises. So this is a chance to kind of discover, celebrate and be enthusiastic about all the other types of pleasure that aren't dependent on getting to penetration or blow jobs, Even if those things are super fun for you as well. It's just about opening up your menu and making everything just as exciting or as enticing, depending on your mood and depending on their mood. So communication has to, you know, really start to become something that you feel empowered by versus now how we feel disempowered that, "Oh, but they're gonna think I'm difficult. They're gonna think this, or they're gonna think I don't like to do blow jobs. They're gonna think-" like this is really about getting that conversation out. So if they think that you don't like to do blow jobs, they're gonna say, "Oh babe, is it because you don't like to do blow jobs?" And you're gonna be like, "No, it's just 'cause like, I'm just loving you up with my hands. I'm like I'm gonna get my mouth there later. But like I just want to be here right now." And so it becomes actually a more authentic and empathetic way of having sex, because you're real. You're not performing for each other anymore. You're meeting each other in your pleasure needs. And this applies in long-term relationships. It applies on your Tinder date. It applies everywhere. It doesn't matter, your level of respect and what you deserve to get in any situation isn't dependent on whether it's for one night or 10,000 nights. Yep, yep, yep. That's always the narrative. Yeah, I mean, I always throw this out to you, any of my BJ or my hand job classes. I'm like, you know, imagine a world where sex didn't end when the penis ended, right? If that wasn't the end of sex. And there is that world. There is that world, even with people with penises and many of us have had lovely experiences where we really enjoy the penetrative things or the hand job things or the blow job things, but we want to continue pleasure beyond ejaculation or beyond the penis owner's orgasm. And so sometimes we get kind of disappointed because the narrative is that, oh, the penis has done, then everything's done. It's not true, you have so many toys, you got hands, you got fingers, you got buttholes, you've got so many things that you can keep things going. Okay, so when I talk about this cock massage and we're gonna get into the techniques now. So I want to introduce cock massage, and then I'll tell you the techniques that you can do to kind of build into it. So when I describe a cock massage, it's more about- It's for sure slowing things down. It's not putting the focus on orgasm. So I'm not giving you a cock massage in the same way that like, like I'm just like jerking it until, you know, it just like, we're just trying to build you towards orgasm. A cock massage is actually about creating pleasure. It's about creating stimulation. It's about creating buildup. And so this can happen on a penis that's soft, a penis that's semi erect, a penis that's super erect, because the techniques that we're gonna use are actually gonna help them deepen into the sensations that we're giving. And so we don't have to kind of- You don't have to go do, like, I dunno, those wrist exercise things, those like muscle things to like build up your wrist stamina to do a cock massage. But cock massages are really something that can be a fun date. So you could set out a date where you're like, "Babe, like tonight, I'm gonna give you, you know, a full body massage. And then I'm gonna give you a cock massage, and like that's how we're gonna finish." And then maybe the next time you're gonna get your genitals attended to. And so you take turns being the center of pleasure and being able to sink into receiving, and you get to sink into giving without worrying that it has to go in a direction that it has always has gone before. And so we're just saying let's just play. Like what would happen if we just didn't do the thing we always do? And I get to focus on like, seeing how much I can extend the pleasure from this hand job? So cock massages are slower. There's no rush to finish, there's a buildup in pleasure. And you get to put your whole sexy self into this cock massage, because you are now the great purveyor of hand job skills that is going to make this massage actually help them have arousal in their whole body. And so when we focus on one area and we don't make it about orgasm, that pleasure and that arousal starts to expand into the rest of our bodies and help arouse under-serviced erogenous zone. So massages with some of the techniques that we'll look at, they can actually be combined with things like making out or neck kissing. Who likes neck kisses? I feel like- Okay, good. Okay. I feel like you're dead on the inside if you don't like neck kisses. So if you're like neck kissing someone- Okay, or tickling, I'm sorry, I'm judging. If you're like, if you're kissing someone's neck and you're giving a slow cock massage, and it's not about like just getting it real quick, but you're like actually, what does your hand feel like on their penis? You know, what does it feel like for you to make this slow movement down things? And for some of us, it's gonna feel awkward as fuck. We're gonna be like, "What are we doing here?" But that awkwardness actually creates a little bit of tension and tease, because it helps keep you in the moment. If you're feeling awkward because your hand is like, you're like, "Well, what do I do next? I'm not sure." That sometimes can, if you sink into the sensation versus like thinking about what am I gonna do next? It becomes more about you playing. It becomes more about you exploring and less about kind of like do this thing, then do this thing. Think about if you were to have a piece of clay and you didn't have any idea what you were gonna make, you know, and you were just kind of like massaging it around and it feels really good in your fingers, and you're like, oh, that part's softer, I like touching the harder parts, and oh, it's kind of cool to roll it like this. That sensation for our hands actually can make us feel really, really sexy. We have so many nerve endings on our fingertips, and so engaging those in pleasure versus just making them in service of someone else's pleasure actually creates more pleasure for both of you automatically. I'm sure this is a past the scope of the class, but yes, men or people with penises are pretty closed off to anything other than heteronormative version of sex. A lot of them fear internalized homophobia. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. There's like- That's a very shared and common experience and it's still a very pervasive experience where, you know, if any of you are on any kind of dating app, you know, if you were to ever bring up anal, automatically it's assumed that the person with the vulva is gonna be the anal receiver. And so I love being on Tinder and someone brings up anal and I'm like, "Oh my God, yeah, I love anal." And they'll say, "Yeah, me too. I love to like, stick it in hard." And I'm like, "Oh my God, me too. I love to pound it in hard." (laughs) And they're like, "Wait, what?" So we can't make assumptions around who likes what or what kind of person. This is also important for us when we're thinking about like dick diversity. And so small dicks aren't better than or worse than big dicks. Big dicks are not better or worse than like- They all have the same pleasure capacity. And if you have a preference for things, that that's up to you, but when we're talking about the actual pleasure potential, all of the techniques I'm gonna show you tonight, you can do on any penis. And most penises that we're seeing in porn or that are referenced in the media, they're not actually- Like most people's penises are not this size. This is probably a big average sized penis, right? An erect penis. So we have a lot of kind of mistaken identities around dicks, and you know, "Like, yeah, then I'm gonna stroke it like this." Nobody's penis is like this. Nobody's penis is the size of my head, right? My partner has had several prostate biopsies. Anal brings up thoughts of pain and stress. Yeah, people are not into anal for- Even if they don't have internalized homophobia. they may just not like anal, and that's totally okay. It's when we're closing ourselves off from anal because of shame, and because we think it says something about who we are or what kind of person, you know, we like to date or that kind of stuff. But even people with vulvas, some people like anal, some people don't. Alrighty. Okay, let's get into- Let's do some techniques. Are you ready for techniques? Yeah? Okay, you got whatever phallic thing you're gonna over there. Let me see all your ph- Good, okay, I see some phallic objects. All right, yes, okay, good. (laughs) Amazing, amazing. You're all so cute. Banana, okay, good. (laughs) Amazing, all right. So what are the techniques? Oh, let me actually talk about lube and then- So hold on to your phallic object. Just because lube is really important. So when we think about lube, a lot of us have had experience with lube that feels kind of goopy and tacky and thick, and it's actually more like the consistency of a lube that you would get at the gyno or any type of internal exam. That lube is not sex lube, you know? And so most of the things you're able to buy in drug stores are unfortunately not that great. They're gonna be filled with additives that are not good for vulvas, and they're gonna be kind of a thicker, lesser quality type of lube. So there's, you know, now we have like lots of options. Someone's mentioning KY and when KY was all we had, right? But like now we've got really good lubes. So for hand jobs, we actually want lubes that are longer lasting. And so hand jobs, because we're not so much worried about, you know, kind of contact with other parts of the body, so if you're avoiding things like pregnancy or STI's, I mean, hand jobs are a pretty low risk activity. And so we can use lubes that don't necessarily need to be compatible with things like condoms. So normally if you're using an oil-based lube and then you want to use a condom afterwards, oil actually reduces the effectiveness of latex. So if you're using latex-based condoms, they're not compatible with oil-based lubes. So just keep that in mind. Some people will have lubes that are water-based. And so some people like water-based lubes because they kind of, they feel very close to vaginal fluids, to the consistency of like semen. And so the ejaculate texture feels great. It doesn't feel like you're like gooping, you know, jelly into your partner or onto your partner's body. So if you like water-based lubes, I usually recommend Sliquid lube. I don't know if you can see it really well, but I will put these in your notes, so don't worry about having to write them down. So you can see, like it's not goopy, right? It's very, very silky. And it's not very- It's not super tacky. Like you're not getting this viscous kind of consistency. So water-based lubes are fine for hand jobs, but they do dry up quicker. If you're like pre-cum or spit is enough. Pre-cum and spit are cute. They are not lube. Because what happens is pre-cum, spit, and then water-based lube, like that's sort of the order within which that they're gonna dry up the quickest. Spit is gonna dry up the quickest, then pre-cum and some people don't produce enough pre-cum to actually be useful. But the other thing is is that this creates, like this silky texture, you can't get that with pre-cum and spit, right? So we want a silky texture because it actually affects the effectiveness and the pleasure of your technique. So you can be doing this move, add lube to it, it is like a whole new thing. So water-based lube is fine if you have water-based lube at home. If you don't have lube at home already, and you're looking- Oh, and I'm gonna moisturize with it. It's also a good moisturizer. If you don't have lube at home already, I would recommend getting a silicone-based lube for hand jobs. So silicone-based lubes, you can't use them on silicone toys, but I mean, we're talking about actual fleshy penises here, so you can use them on penises. They are also very, you can kinda see, like very silky. They're even silkier than water-based lubes. And so no like viscousness at all, right? Like no tackiness. What's great about them is that they don't absorb into the skin as quickly as water-based lube. So they last a really long time. So if you're doing a cock massage and you want to keep it slippery and warm, lubes are also a conductor for heat. And so they help kind of make your hands feel even warmer on a penis. So if someone is uncircumcised, you can put a little bit of lube like I did with my- I'll show you the other side, this looks so painful. Is you can put a little bit of lube inside, like a few drops into their foreskin. So just putting a little bit in there and then sort of like massaging it around so that it makes its way down. So that will combine with their natural lubrication but give you a longer lasting texture. So lube is life in summary. And when you're looking for things like silicone lubes, some people don't like it because they've had experiences where it stains their sheets or it like lasts too long. Keep a towel next to you or put a towel under them. But Uberlube, I use Uberlube, and one of their product claims is that it doesn't stain sheets. It's a silicone lube that doesn't stain sheets. So that's also a super good option for you to just kind of keep like and have it there. And you can make a whole show of like, putting on the lube, right? You're like get down to their penis and you're like, "Oh, I guess we're ready." Right? And then like massage it all around. I have to wipe off some of this lube now. Oh, more moisturizer. (laughs) All right. So how do we feel about exploring a bit with lube? Is that something we're gonna get into? Okay, cool, cool. All right. You can do hand jobs without lube, but like, why create that friction? Like, think about when someone's touching your clitoris it's not wet or lubey. It feels just like dryness, right? Good, I'm glad, yeah. Definitely go for it, because even if you forget any of the techniques and you're like, "Shit, what'd Luna say?" Say just use lube. It'll just like up your game. Okay. So when we're starting with- We're gonna start with one technique, which is called the twister. I'm actually gonna lower my screen and just keep talking to you so that you can see my hands. Okay. So the twister technique, you can do it with one hand, or you can do it with two hands, but it's allowing the shaft to get a lot of stimulation from sort of the strength and the texture of your hands and your knuckles. And so the twister, the two handed twister is you're just making half circles. And so you can start with half circles. You can also do the twister and kind of go down. And so you may go towards the body. You can do the twister and go up. So it's half circle up, half circle up. Or half circle down, half circle down. And remember your hands are gonna be like all slippery and lovely. If this is confusing for you, hold on to the base of the penis, because remember there's all this like stem of the penis that's still in there. So your hands can create a little bit of a cock ring and trap some of the blood a little bit harder in the penis and just take one hand and do the twister. That's totally acceptable. Now the key part of the twister is that whenever you're twisting either up or down towards the frenulum, you're gonna put a little bit extra pressure, or you're gonna put emphasis on this area. So emphasis might be, you know, you're twisting up. and when you get here, you put a little bit of a squeeze, or you make a little bit of an exaggeration motion, so that you're stimulating this area. So you just want to think about like, "Okay, I'm coming up, and then maybe I'm gonna slow a little bit here before I move my hand off." And so twisting can just be- One of the variations I'm gonna mention for all of these is that you can play with speed. So you can twist a little bit faster, or you can twist slower. You can twist like super exaggerated slow. I love doing slow moves to start. But then also once you have a responsive penis or a responsive partner, slow moves are a good way to kind of pause everything and then ramp pleasure back up. So instead of going like pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, we're going pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, and then kind of like leveling off and then pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. So you actually get a deeper level of pleasure. How do we feel about the twister? You like the twister? Yeah? Okay. I'm gonna put some lube, that looks so yummy. Okay, so this one is gonna be- This is my cutest and most favorite one. So this is also how you can put on lube with the twister, right? Like pour it on the top and then kind of move your hand down. So the twister doesn't really go over the head. I'm gonna show you one after that, that goes over the head. This one's called the bouncing octopus. So your hand is gonna be a cute little octopus and you're gonna hold on to either the base of the penis or the shaft of the penis, depending on what your partner's size is. My hands are super huge, so I like to hold on to the base of the penis. And you're gonna take the tips, kind of the pads of your fingers, you're starting at the head and you're moving down until it hits the back of your hand. And so it's a motion where you're moving down, your fingers are grazing the most sensitive parts of the penis. It's moving down to the shaft and it's hitting against the back of your hand. One of the key things about this motion is that when you're moving down, it's not a passive feathery moving down, this is an intentional pushing and pulling back up. So you're using your fingers or your tentacles as ways to kind of increase pressure and pleasure on all of the hotspots as you're going up and down. And so this can also be something that you increase with speed. This can be something you can add a little bit of a twist to. You can put your other hand and do something else while you're doing this. But this one is really nice, because the back of the hand feels like it's hitting the back of a vagina or a part of an anus, and so it just would like move- It gives it a little bit of a feeling of being encapsulated. So you're kind of like trapping this. With this change- Oh, if I had a penis, this move would look amazing. Yes. I know. I know, right? Would it change with an uncircumcised penis or no, because of the lighter touch? Oh, I'm gonna show you the octopus on- I'm gonna show you the octopus and the twister on the uncircumcised penis for sure, yes. Yeah, it does. It looks really good, right? So imagine if your partner, you know, your partner is like looking at you like this. This is the view you're getting, and you're just doing this like sexy octopus, and notice your fingers. Like, "Did you do your nails for this hand job?" You know, "Like did you like cut your nails?" Like look at your sexiness and like the movement, like connect to all of that. So I'm gonna show you two techniques at a time, and I'll take a break and then show you on uncircumcised penis, or show you on both of the models. So for uncircumcised penises, for the twister, if your person, if their foreskin is still sort of up, and if it hasn't retracted, or if you want to use the foreskin, the twister works the same way. And so the foreskin gets to be part of the kind of texture creation, of the motion of what's going on. You can also use your one hand to hold and retract to where it's comfortable for them to hold the foreskin and retract it, and then use this hand for the bouncing octopus, or for the twister, right? So we've got sort of a twist octopus or for the twister. And so we're still massaging the most sensitive parts of the penis on the uncircumcised penis, but we get to use the head as like an extra kind of texture. And I'm actually gonna talk with you about a sex toy that kind of feels like a foreskin. And so for circumcised penises, we can also give a similar sensation that that foreskin would have. I'm gonna show this one on uncircumcised penises first. So this is called scissor fingers. And I want to mention, I'm gonna show this on, on if someone has a smaller but erect or non-erect penis, it actually doesn't matter. So scissor fingers are about kind of using the crevice between two fingers to create a sensation. So this is super fun because it's gonna be a wet and lubey. And so you're gonna lube up your hands and your scissor fingers are going up and down, but then these two knuckles are also kind of either in the front of the penis, or they're just around the side of the penis. So you're tucking two fingers in and you're using the other two. Your thumbs are also free. So I'm gonna turn it and maybe I'll do it this way. Well, I can't because it's backwards. Okay, but my thumbs are also free to do things too. So if you're a scissor fingering and you want your thumbs to do something at the same time. So I could be and then using my thumbs to massage the frenulum, right? And so it's a motion that allows you to kind of give more concentrated pleasure, whereas this one is more encompassing, and this one feels more encompassing. It's actually good to mix up an encompassing one and a directed pleasure one, because every time you start to rise up the stimulation in the shaft, and then you take a little bit of a break for it and you're giving it less attention, less touch, less stimulation, it starts to get excited, it starts to crave more. So think about when, you know, if you were to have your hand right now, and if you were to lick your hand and then wait a few seconds and then exhale onto your hand, you're gonna feel a sensation, because you've changed the temperature of your hand by licking it and then blowing your hot breath on it. So it's the same thing with texture and pressure. We're giving pressure, pressure, pressure, lots and lots of touch, and then we're still giving stimulation, but it's a little bit less. Okay, so scissor fingers on a cut penis would look very similar. And so again, my thumbs are here, they're doing some fun things. And then my fingers are doing most of the work. So that one can also be a really sexy move if they are standing up and you're giving them sort of a towards your face, because it's like you're drawing their penis, you're jerking it or stroking it towards your face or towards your body. So there's sort of a visual kind of hotness to this. Oh, Krima oh, no problem. Have a sweet night, thank you for joining us. Your new partner is quite rough with himself when self-pleasuring, but I'm scared to be rough, any advice, please? Yes, for sure. And when a partner orgasms, unsure when to stop touching them or keep going till the end of orgasm. Okay, yes. I will answer both of those for sure. I'm gonna continue with the techniques, and you will have those in the replay, so you will get those answers, I promise. With our next kind of move. So we've got 10 moves to go through, so I gotta get you all these 10 moves. The next one is anchor and stroke. And so anchor and stroke is about- So if anyone struggles with like kind of hand coordination, this one's pretty good. So what it means is you're gonna create an anchor with one hand, similar to the twister. You're holding onto the base. And then the other hand is gonna create sort of an upward type of motion. So you're bringing the stroking upwards, and this can go over the head. So you're actually sort of- I'm gonna take off this one. So it looks you're grabbing it. You're pulling, you're sort of massaging. I'm putting emphasis around underneath the head and I'm coming all the way over the head. And so the anchor means your hand's creating a little bit of a cock ring again, and trapping more blood flow in here, which means there's gonna be more sensation. There's gonna be even more sensitivity. And this hand is kind of using it to sort of milk. So you can use it, you can stroke in this direction, or if your partner- So I'm gonna stick this kind of to my chest. So if this was my biologically attached penis, and you've watched me masturbate, and this is how I masturbate, right? Then when you're doing the anchor and stroke, you're gonna try and mimic the same kind of cupping. If I this way, cool. If I'm masturbating towards my own body, then you're gonna try and manipulate your stroke in the direction that they are normally enjoying. All right. Likewise, for uncircumcised penises, the anchor might also mean that your anchor is holding onto the foreskin. And so depending on someone's anatomy and how much it retracts and what's comfortable for them, the stroke could include just a portion of the exposed penis, or it could be the entire penis, and you're holding the foreskin back completely. And so the anchor and stroke, the only difference for uncircumcised penises is that you have options. You can either have it using the foreskin. So you can anchor- People's foreskins don't fold back like this, just FYI. This is just my dildo. This is why I ripped it last time, because it doesn't retract easily. All right. So (laughs) If you're holding onto their penis and let's say they aren't fully erect yet, or the foreskin hasn't retracted, you can actually use the foreskin. So you're gonna hang on- I know, poor rippy, I know. You're gonna hang onto the base of the penis, and then you're gonna do a little bit of stroking. So if you're stroking your bananas or you're stroking your water bottles, you want to see like, are you- 'Cause there's a difference between like, touching, right? And feeling something. So are you feeling this stroke? What does it feel like if you squeeze harder? What does it feel like if you go downwards? What does it feel like if you go slower? What does it feel like if you look at your hand versus not looking at your hand? So these are all ways for you to get your own kind of sexiness in there. This one I call the cuddle fist. So the cuddle fist is- The cuddle fist is a technique that's focused on the heads of the penis. And so basically you're making a fist and your hands are gonna be all lubed up. I'm gonna add more lube to my hands. And the cuddle fist is your wrapping sort of- Your focus is around from the base and underneath the head. And so that would be the base and underneath the head here. And then what we're doing is we're trying to create almost a suction with our fist. And so the move, it sort of looks like- It sort of looks like a stroke, but if I slow it down, it's a closing around, a grasping, and then sort of a pulling up. So your hand doesn't ever really leave, right? So it's sort of like, we're still giving pressure, even if you're doing it this way, if you're doing it pulling towards you, if you're going down on the cuddle fist, but this one is really effective in this type of motion. So wrapping your hand around one part of the shaft. And actually I'm gonna do it on a smaller penis so that it actually makes more sense. So this hand would be around one part of the shaft, and then this hand would sort of be moving it up. So this one can go really, really, really quickly, and can get someone super hard really quick, and they may feel that that's a little bit overstimulating, but then you can slow it down, and your hand is never really coming away. And so it's always having contact with the base of your hand. How does that one feel? How do you like the cuddle fist? Sounded like I was gonna punch it, but- (laughs) I do like punching dicks too. (laughs) Okay. Let's do- This one's called- So the cuddle fist, sorry. The cuddle fist also works the exact same way on a penis that is uncircumcised, and so you're either pulling the foreskin back as is comfortable, and then we're still keeping our hand attached to it. This one, actually I found, you know, you can use it when the penis is also not super erect. So if it's not super erect, I love this question around like how rough can you be with penises? So with penises that aren't erect, you can actually be a lot rougher. Like you can grab more, you can pull more, because the sensitivity isn't there yet. This is all just kind of like muscle, and when it's filled up with blood, that's where the sensitivity starts to increase. So you can try some of these techniques a little bit rougher on a penis that isn't erect, and it's not going to be painful in the same way if I came at, you know, this one like super rough. For people are who are really interested in rougher techniques, you can kind of start with a slower and then be like, "Babe, when you want me to go harder, I need you to tell me harder." Right? Or you can say, you can ask them, "Hey, like, you know, can I go harder? I kind of feel like going a little bit like rougher on you." And they will tell you when it doesn't feel good, because in the same way that if someone were to like, take teeth onto your unaroused clitoris, you're gonna tell them it's not gonna feel good. Right? Hopefully. Yes, looks looks more gentle than it sounds. Yeah, it does, it does. Looks good especially if your partner prefers focus on the head. For sure. Some people's heads are too sensitive, and they don't actually like a ton of focus. So for those people, you can- You don't really have to do cuddle fist, or you do it sort of slowly and gently. And it becomes more of like you're petting instead of like actually like dragging something. For folks that love it, you could go a little bit rougher, and remember rougher or more intense techniques with lube are less likely to cause kind of injury or pain, because the texture is mitigating the kind of muscle and the strength or the speed that you're putting into something. Okay, we have a couple more. So clasped fingers. So clasped fingers are- Let's do it on the small one again, 'cause I feel like this is unrealistic. But I'll show you it on the uncircumcised penis too. So clasped fingers are about taking the palms of your hands, so nice and lubed up. It's actually even sexy if like you warm them up or maybe you were like touching yourself first and your hands are all nice and warm, and you kind of like go over the penis and settle your palms around the shaft. And then you're gonna clasp your fingers. And so the head is gonna be popping out a little bit, or your thumbs, depending on the size of the person's penis and the size of your hands, your thumbs might be kind of nuzzling around the head of the penis, which is again, right, perfect for underneath the most sensitive parts of the penis. So the clasping, this is actually a technique of kind of encasing again, but this is a lot stronger than just having like two scissor fingers, right? So this is creating heat. This is creating pressure and this is creating this kind of consistent warmth that can make someone feel really, really excited. And so in this position, you're not making big strokes, right? I mean, if you have a giant 12 inch penis with you, maybe you're making like big strokes, but you know, with most penises, what we're doing is we're kind of like massaging without really going anywhere. And so this is a good one if you like spit, this is a good time to like spit on a penis and then kind of just like allow your fingers to massage around the head. This one, if you are- You can't do this one one-handed obviously, but let's say you're working with a penis that is smaller or is not as erect. You can still do it, right? So I'm still holding onto the penis, and instead of going up and down, maybe there's no room to do that. What I might do is go side to side. And so that side to side rolling along with the stimulation on the head can feel really, really yummy for someone. All right, so you've had twister, you had bouncing octopus, you had scissor fingers, anchor and stroke, cuddle fist, clasped fingers. And for clasped fingers on uncircumcised penises, it's actually very similar to the benefits of, of stroking, of the anchor and stroke, where we can use the foreskin. And so the foreskin actually becomes a part of the clasp. If you want to do the clasp or they want to do the clasp with their foreskin retracted, you can ask them to hold their foreskin, and then you're gonna clasp and you're gonna use the exposed part of the penis to give pleasure to. Alrighty. Oh, this poor foreskin. God, they need a version two of this dick. (laughs) Okay, well, we're done with these demos for now. We'll let it lube up over there. Maybe it just needs some time. When we're looking at one other technique that you can kind of mix in, whether it's on a uncircumcised penis or a circumcised penis, is you can kind of use your thumbs when you're in a position where you're holding or you're grasping. Or if you're grasping even with one hand, like your thumb is a different texture. So think about if you were to like suck on your thumb or a finger and then just like drag it slowly and around the penis while holding the shaft with your hand. That's a really good warmup move and it's hot as fuck, because you get to, you know, kind of like do a little bit of like a visual like "Mmm, yes, and this is like what we're gonna do tonight, right? Or like, "Mmm, I was just want to get my spit all over your penis." So that can be a way to sort of feel like that you are owning it, right? Like you're entering this intentionally. I like to use the thumbs as a little ritual. Like it's for me to be like, "Yeah, like I want to do this. Like, I'm gonna make this dick like, feel so amazing." And it allows you to kind of like find your thing to center on in all of this, in all of this hand pleasure. So I've got a couple more for you. So think about using your body in your hand jobs. And so if you- If you like, if you're a person is lying down and you want to straddle their thigh, or you want to straddle their shin, whatever's comfortable for them, and let them feel the warmth of your genitals, the warmth of between your legs on their body while you're giving them a hand job, you can also use your chest. So it doesn't actually matter what size of chest you have, but you can alternate between like having your hands and then putting your chest, resting it on their body, and kind of just like moving it over their lubed up penis. And so that looks visually delicious. If for you, if you have sensitive nipples, that's also a great way to kind of like rub your nipples on something and gyrate a little bit and get attention for yourself. So using other parts of your body can be really sexy. And someone mentioned, you know, kind of like integrating pleasure for the other parts of the body into hand jobs. Like when we learn a new skill, and this is everyone's challenge, we hyper focus on the area that we've learned the new skill about. And so this person has no other thing except for their penis. They have no other thing except for their anus. They have no other for whatever area that we're focusing on. So one thing to remember, and a way to get engaged in the rest of their body, is that when you're starting the hand job, like you've decided, they've decided it's hand job time, you're gonna make your way down to the hand job so painfully slow, right? And so that doesn't mean that you can only be sensual. Slow has nothing to do with- You can be slow and rough. You can be slow and powerful. You can be slow and submissive. You can be slow and sensual. You can be slow and sassy. You can be slow and sweet. Slowness is about creating tease for them. And when you create tease for them, they don't know exactly when you're gonna get to their hand job, and so you'll notice if you're starting to touch other parts of their body, they're already gonna start to get either erect or their breath is gonna change, or they're gonna get kind of excited, because you're allowing them an opportunity to be really present in their body because they don't know what's next. And so when you finally get down to the hand job, remember they've got inner thighs, right? Inner thighs are so sensitive. So you could drag your hands down their stomach, their, you know, lower belly around their penis, but then out their inner thighs, use your fingernails if they like that. You can kiss those areas. I love putting my face next to a penis, but I'm not gonna put it in my mouth, I'm gonna do something else. So giving that like tease, so it's like you go in and then, oh, you're like, "Oh, but look, I discovered your thighs." And then you're like, "Oh, your dick again." And then you come back to the dick. And so it gets to feel like you're creating a rhythm. It gets to feel like- Oh, it's starting to thunderstorm. I'm just gonna close my window. (laughs) And so it gets to feel like you're creating some sort of consistency in the seduction of it. And remember, this doesn't have to be like- You don't have to be like hand job heroes like every single time. Like once you start to wield that slowness and that sensation-based approach to their body, it actually just becomes something that makes you feel really sexy. You're like, "Mmm, I'm turning on my hand job hero power. I know what's coming next, right?" And when you're focused on their penis with your hands, and you're doing all these kinds of things, what you can do is when you want to pull away from that intensity of pleasure, is do a simple stroke that you're able to do, so do the bouncing octopus, take the other hand and then you can either do a perineum stroke or you can hold a vibrator against their perineum, or take the other hand and like move it up their body, just drag it all the way up their body. And all I'm doing is like massaging the head. So you could do even, you could do the cuddle fist. Oh, it's stuck to the table. You could do the cuddle fist while you're moving like this hand all the way up their body. How many of you like eye contact? Who's into eye contact? I feel like eye contact is one of the sexiest things that- Yeah, I love like- It's like eye fucking, you know? It can make you feel super shy, super awkward, but because it's so intense, right? It's so intense to be seen and to see someone. And so you could play with eye contact. That's another way to connect the rest of the body. And so you could be focusing on the penis, and then maybe you just kind of like look up a little bit, make eye contact, and then like go back down to like whatever you're doing. If you don't want to be looked at while you're trying out like the bouncing octopus or whatever, give your partner a blindfold, if they're comfortable being blindfolded. That way you don't have to be watched while you're like, "Okay, Luna said the bouncing octopus. Okay, I'm gonna try the octopus." You know? And so you can actually approach it in a way that it's about like, we're focusing on this sensation tonight. So I want to take away this sense to heighten the rest of your other senses. Okay. So that was using the rest of your body. And then I've got three more for you, but I'm just gonna check out your questions here. Looks good, especially if your partner- Okay, sorry, I read that one. Erectile tissue beyond the penis in the body. Are these also utilizing that? Yeah, so anytime that you're grasping the base of the penis, that's gonna give some stimulation into the boomerang part of the penis that's inside the body. It depends on the position, but if you're pressing against that, so if you're grasping sort of behind the balls at the base of the penis, and you're using this part of your hand to like press against the body, sometimes it presses onto their bladder, and so it can feel like they have to pee. So we want just the pressure to be in our fingers and less on against the side of their body, like pressing against their body. Alrighty. All right. Partners is, and I'm too shy. I take off my glasses during sex. That's so good, that's so good. Then you're like, "Huh, don't know what's happening. Don't know if it's hot or not, but it feels good." Because a lot of sex we've been told is like so performative. And we focus on like, "Oh, like I should look and sound a certain way in sex." When most of us actually sound a lot more guttural and primal during sex. We don't sound like uh, uh, that's porn. That's intended for us to have a particular emotion and reaction to that sound. It's sensationalized in produced porn. So for us, sometimes it's hard to get out of that, because we haven't seen real people have real sex, right? Like we're still all just kind of clumsily trying to you know, mimic those kinds of possibilities, right? Okay. And Krima, I want to answer your questions. So this is a question that might be relevant for lots of you too. So this idea of being rough and not knowing if it's okay to be rough. I think this is an opportunity to also talk about, you know, or to engage in communication. And so using that simple kind of like, "Wwell, should I like turn this up a notch? Is this good? Or do you need it like good?" And getting them to even put their hand on top of your hand and show you like how rough they like it. Remember too, that the way that they touch their bodies is not necessarily going to be the exact same recreation. We're just looking for like, hints about what direction to go. We're not looking to create their same, you know, calloused hands that they've known like since they were like five and like become their fists. Like we're actually giving them a different kind of pleasure. Then that's why, you know, it's really important for, you know, for us to maintain these sexual relationships to ourself and then have partnered sex as well. When a partner orgasms, unsure whether to stop touching them. So this one, I really- This is a really good question. So this also depends on the person. So some people like to keep the stroke going after orgasm, but slower and not on the head. And so the head becomes too sensitive after orgasm for most people. Excuse me. Especially for penises that are uncircumcised, like the head is gonna be too sensitive. So what you're doing is, let's say you're doing this, and this like makes them orgasm and your hand's like all full of jizz, what you can do is just start to like slowly stroke around here. Right? And so you're just gonna slowly stroke the shaft in sort of a gentle, not a lot of pressure and just avoid the most sensitive areas. Because it is abrupt if you're like, they come and then you're like, "Whoa!" And you just like dive out of the way and like abandon their dick. So we want to stay with the pleasure, but we don't want to add extra sensation to super sensitive areas. Okay. Definitely more primal sounds for you. Yes, me too. My partner is older and has a softer erection, so hand jobs and re-introducing him to sex, pleasure for just him, I'm into this to bring him back into pleasure. Yeah, that's awesome. That's why I like cock massages. I had a partner where I would give him a full body massage and then I would give him a cock massage, and the combination of arousing all of these other parts of his body that get ignored, so thighs and knees and shoulders and chest and backs all have a lot of nerve endings, and getting someone into that relaxed state and then giving them a cock massage for like 10 or 15 minutes or whatever's comfortable, that sometimes can contribute to full body orgasms, where they feel the orgasm in their penis, but they feel a sensation like that is orgasmic in the rest of their body. So if you are dealing with someone that has softer erections or has kind of fickle erections, that's totally fine. Hand jobs are a great place to have that, because a penis does not need to get erect for a hand job. And it is not a sign of a successful hand job that it's erect. It is you're here to kind of give this pleasure in a way that feels good for both of you. Yes, that's also a misconception that you're just trying to mimic their hand. Yeah, and I think some of us have had experiences where it feels like they're just trying to tell us how to mas- I definitely have. I've had experiences where I'm like, "Huh, so I'm just here to like, do you the way you do you, and like, this is not fun for me." Sometimes it was fun in that there were other things that made it fun, but if it sort of isolated into like, "Oh yeah, like I love jerking off. I just want you to jerk me off." You know, it depends how you feel about it. If that's sexy for you, if it feels spontaneous, if it feels giving, you feel of service, you feel like playful, do it. That's totally fine. But that shouldn't be the default narrative around hand jobs. We're not sort of just replacing their hand. We're giving a lot more intimacy and creativity into that. Okay, so I've got three more techniques for you. And so this one is a hand to mouth one. And so if your partner does like BJs, this is actually really good if your partner likes deep throating and you don't like deep throating, because porn has basically told us that deep throating is like the epitome of blow jobs, and it is not. So I just explained to you penis anatomy, right? Where is the most sensitive part of the penis? Not here. So a lot of times deep throating is around like the visual of it. It could also be around the feeling of like, kind of that encasement. And so your warm mouth, your warm throat, sort of captured around the penis. But hand jobs, hand job, hand mouth combos are a great way to kind of mimic that. And so now we know where to grasp the penis. So we're grasping on this model, I mean, I'm grasping- You can grasp behind the balls. You can grasp like around the balls. My circumcised penis doesn't have balls, but we're grasping at the base. And you can either hold onto the base and do things with your mouth and this hand where your mouth and your hand are actually a continuation of each other, so they become like a tunnel. And so your hand is going down and then your mouth is going down with it, right? And so I'm not gonna do that, 'cause I have to talk, but your mouth would go down and follow your hand. You can also create even more sensation by holding on, like covering the shaft with one hand and then using your sort of like the cuddle fist, right? So we're gonna cuddle around it and then bringing it down and again, like using your mouth. And so your hand is mainly focused on this area. You're keeping this one still, and we're just going down and kind of moving with it. Hand jobs are also fun if you're kind of doing it up this way, you can take a break. So for those of you that struggle with pacing and with like figuring out like what to do next, you're gonna do a technique long enough that you can get a rhythm and a buildup to see if it's even doing anything. And so there's no pressure. Like I wouldn't be sitting here counting, being like, "Okay, I've done this for 15 strokes. Doesn't seem to be working. Should move on." You're gonna do it for a little bit and be like, "Babe, do you like that?" And if they're like, "Oh yeah, it feels so good." Or if they're kind of like, "Mmm," and you've learned their pleasure responses. You can also decide like, 'Okay, I'm gonna switch to something else." And then if this was working better, then go back to this. Right? And so take the pressure off of yourself to be the kind of producer of the hand job. You are here to offer a hand job. You are here to offer pleasure. You're here to offer intimacy, playfulness, relaxation, connection. And so that can be the, the mixing up of the hand and the mouth, that can be a good way to have pacing as well. So you can be stroking for a bit, and then maybe I spit on it and I'm like licking around the head. Now it's all like wet again. Maybe I used flavored lube and I'm eating like a caramel latte dick. And then we're gonna like move the hand with the spit or with the lube and move it down. And so you get to kind of alternate between hand and mouth. That also helps folks that are not so crazy about blow jobs or their jaw gets tired, or they just find it overwhelming to try and do more coordinated moves. So you can do them in alternate. So do this for a bit and then maybe like lick, make it nice and wet and then do something again. Any of the lubes that I showed you are safe to ingest and they're tasteless. So they don't actually taste like anything. They're not gonna taste chemical. Or like, if you were to put some sort of medical lube in your mouth. How do we feel about hand and mouth? Do we like hand and mouth combos? I feel like they're fun. Like they help me pace a little bit, because I tend to rush through things. I'm like bouncing octopus, okay, cuddle fist. And so I like mixing doing one thing and then like doing something with my mouth and then doing something again. I find that that's pretty helpful. All right. The other two that I'm gonna talk about actually have to do with butts and prostates and then positions. But I want to mention for all of these eight that we've talked about. So you have eight techniques, but you actually have like way more than that, because any of those techniques, you can mix up with speed, with pressure, with rhythm and with direction. So all of them have these like infinite kind of combinations. You can also play with things like temperature. So if you were doing a hand/mouth combo, and you spit on the dick and you started stroking a little bit, and then you (exhales) onto it, that's gonna give it a completely different sensation. You can play with ice cubes. You can play with cooling lubes. You can play with warming lubes. I would stay away from weed lubes if you're doing hand jobs, because some weed lubes- If your partner is hypersensitive, if they, you know, two strokes and like, they've come, weed lubes are good because for penises, they actually relax the muscle. And so if someone struggles with erections already or getting hard, weed lubes are not a good idea to use on their penis. But you can use them if someone is a little bit too sensitive. You can also do that by adding a condom. That will decrease some of the sensitivity. Okay, I don't really understand what cock massage is. So it's instead of stroking, we're massaging the penis. So those techniques are more focused on massage and less focused on like milking an orgasm out of someone. So it's a change both in the technique and in the intention behind it, and so what you're trying to do. What lubes are good, more natural if you're moving from hand job to blow job? Some tastes very chemical. Caramel lube got- Yes. So Wicked, Wicked is a brand of lubes that it's safe for vulvas because- It's a safe flavored lube for vulvas. So if you want to sit on that penis afterwards, don't put anything on it that, unless you're gonna use a condom on it after, don't put anything on it that might also transfer into your body, and if you're already prone to UTIs or yeast infections, flavored lubes that have sugar or glycerin, usually it's written as glycerin in it, are not gonna be good for your body. So Wicked is actually flavored with Stevia, and so it's totally safe and they taste amazing. They don't taste like those cough syrupy kind of strawberry lubes. They taste like, I have a pink lemonade one. I ate a pink lemonade asshole, it was great. So you can use those types of lubes. You're gonna find those at sex positive sex shops. You're not gonna find them like on sort of bigger, more commercial sex brands. I have a code for you for a local feminist sex shop to save 15%. So I mean, lube is a good thing to just stock up on. I'm gonna include that in your notes for you. You liked hand/mouth. Okay, great. That's the only thing you can pace, amazing. Never thought of a direction like to the side and upward. Yeah, it's hard to get imaginative with it, because we've just seen this. Right? Like we haven't seen really anything else. Okay, so I just want to mention before we close up. Butts and prostate. So for some people, they really enjoy having the combo pleasure of a hand job and either external anal play or even a finger or a toy in their penis or in their anus. And so do you have to kind of gauge the level of comfort with your partner and have that discussion. Nobody should be touching anybody's butt until like permission and consent has been given. It's not fun to be kind of surprised. There's no such thing as surprise anal, basically. That's what our- lube is life, and there's no such thing as surprise anal. But if your partner is into butt stuff, I'm gonna show you two butt plugs that are really good to be inside. So you're looking for butt plugs that don't take up too much space inside of their body. So this is from Njoy and I'm gonna put these in your notes for you. So the Njoy butt plug, and this one is the B-Vibe butt plug. And what I like about B-Vibe is that it has a freakin' remote control. So you can put this in your partner's butt, give them the remote, and then you can focus on your hand job and they can control their butt pleasure, right? Or when they're jerking off, if they're doing a little show for you, you can hold on to the remote and control the pleasure in their butt. This also has a YouTube or an app, and so a Bluetooth app so you can connect with that as well. This one is great because it's curved in a way. So this is straighter. This is not necessarily gonna stimulate the prostate. But this is curved in a way that it would hit the prostate and provide that kind of firm pressure to it. So you could be rocking this in their penis while you're doing something, you know, with your hand, right? So you could do cuddle fist and like put this in their penis, in their anus. Why do I keep saying penis? Anus. It's 'cause it's not a butt stuff night. I'm just talking about dicks tonight. Okay. With position. So positions is another area where you can mix things up. Are there particular positions you like to give hand jobs in? Is this something- Do you like it when your partner's like lying down? Do you like it when they're standing up? Think about like, you could even come from behind and start to play with them and playing through their clothing or through their underwear is a good way to start a hand job, right? Because you're creating tease. And so maybe you're just grabbing, massaging, stroking, you know, playing with it. And then maybe you go away, and they're cooking dinner, and you're like, "Yeah, I'll see that later. You know, I'll see you in the cuddle fist later." And so thinking about like all the different ways that you can play with someone. A hand job can be given if they are on all fours. So that might be a position that they feel really sexy in and you can reach around them and or stroke between their legs and stroke their penis that way, and it's almost like you're milking a cow, but you now have techniques other than just this, right? Them standing up is also a fun one. Them sitting on a chair with their legs spread. You can also do hand jobs in a 69 position. So you could be sitting on their face, and for some people, this modified 69 is actually more fun than a regular 69, because they find it kind of intimidating or the height difference is like not good, and you just can't be on each other. So if you're kind of leaning a little bit up, but a little bit forward, and then you've maybe got one hand to balance you, and then you've got your other hand. I had a partner where I could see when his toes were starting to like curl, and I was like, "Oh yeah, we're close, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna back off because I want this to last." (laughs) So you can start to notice parts of their body, or maybe they start to react in a certain way to giving you head while they're playing. If you need stimulation too, remember, you can put toys inside you, you can hold toys against yourself. You can be in a position where they're lying down and you're on all fours, and would have your butt close to their face, and then your hands are working them and their hands are free. So their hands can reach around and touch your nipples or your genitals or your anus and give you pleasure while you're giving them pleasure. So mix up those positions. It totally keeps it interesting versus like flop and you know, like here, it's hand job time. All right, never thought of direction. Like, oh, sorry, that one I already read. Always feel like he is lying down. I want to try it with him standing up. Yes, so if you want to try it with him standing up, start to give that flirtation. Start to leave those breadcrumbs of sexiness like when he is standing up. And so when he's standing up, you could even come behind him and start to touch him and say, "You know, I would love to stroke you while you're in this position, like while you're standing up and I get to kneel down and look up at you. I think that'd be so hot." And so when we create like sexual changes or prompts or breadcrumbs outside of our sexual experiences, sometimes it's less intimidating. It's a little bit easier to communicate with all of like the hormones and the hotness happening. So that can be a fun way to kind of mix things up. All right, so I'm gonna give you- How many- Oh, I already told you a lot of the pro tips. I have two pro tips left for you. One tip is called- How many of you have heard of the technique called edging? Have you heard of edging? So edging can be done on anybody's body. Yes, yes, yes. How do we feel about edging? Do we like edging? You've heard of it? Okay, I'm gonna explain it. Amazing, you're curious, cool. Love it, okay, all right. So I love giving edging. I don't like receiving it, because I'm an instant gratification person. And so edging is about using a technique or a rhythm that is continuous, and you're taking the person to close to orgasm, but when you get to that vibration, like sometimes the penis vein will vibrate or you know their certain mode or move or sound they're making, they're about to come, or they tell you, you know, I'm gonna come soon. Then what you want to do is you back off of that pleasure that is going to take them to orgasm. So backing off doesn't mean stroke, stroke, stroke, you're about to come, and you're like, "Oh, look at my nails. I haven't done my nails yet." It means that you're gonna stroke, stroke, stroke, I'm about to come, and I slow it down. And maybe I'm gonna move to a different part of the penis that isn't as sensitive. That might also mean that I take a complete break, but I exit by like just like dragging my fingers, dragging out. Maybe I look up and make eye contact. Maybe I come back in and then, "Oh, here we are again." So what this does is it actually deepens their perception and their experience of the sensations that you're giving, because we're bringing it to an almost boiling point, but then we're letting it simmer, right? So we're not taking it over the top. This is actually the point where some people with penises can train themselves to have multiple orgasms. So in both vulvas and penises, orgasm and ejaculation are separate events. In penises, they happen seconds apart, but they are separate events. So someone of the penis could potentially ejaculate or have an orgasm without ejaculating. And so they can retain erection. They can retain their hardness without losing the ability to orgasm or the opportunity to orgasm. So it's this point of right before orgasm, where we have to learn or they have to learn it, because the way that you give a multiple is that when they're about to come, they actually have to practice this on their own first, because it's such a specific point, and they have to learn to control that point between orgasm and ejaculation. And so it's about kind of squeezing. Ugh, this one's all dried up. So it's about squeezing just under the head, and during right before ejaculation, and so that squeeze is actually gonna pinch the urethra. And so the urethra is where urine and semen comes out of. And so pinching that allows the body to experience orgasm without ejaculating. So that's like next level, right? You can tell your partner about it and tell him to try practicing what that might be like if they're masturbating, and if they can kind of like pay attention to like, what does it feel like in that moment, you know, before orgasm? They'd have to sort of tune into it and then give you information about it. And my other favorite thing. I'm actually gonna be giving away some of these in my November newsletter. So if you're not on my newsletter list, get on there. I want to give you some cock sleeves. So these are called masturbation sleeves. So you can see how on the inside they're kind of textured. They've got like ridges. And then on the outside, mine's a little bit dirty, because they do pick up a lot of like hair and stuff. So what we do with these is we put some lube on the inside and we put them over the head of the penis. I'm gonna bring you back down. And so this becomes a sleeve, so that warm, wet lube and that like textured pattern on the inside, it actually becomes like a little jerk off sleeve. So it sounds horrible. I feel we could do like ASMR with this. (squishing) (laughs) But that's also because it's on a dildo, but like on skin and on flesh, this can feel super, super good. So this is very similar to- It's basically a smaller version of like fleshlights. So those masturbation cases that people with penises can use to jerk off into. It's supposed to simulate the inside of an orifice, so an anus or a vagina. And these are usually- You can use them a few uses. You just wash them out afterwards, but they're super fun. And you can also use them on penises that are uncircumcised. So you actually put it, you can put it over and use it so it gives that sensation, or you can retract the foreskin and then use it on just like even the top of the head, right? That's even gonna make it a super fun sensation. So they're fairly inexpensive. I'm giving away this brand, this like Tenga Egg. So they're called Tenga Eggs. I'll put these in your notes as well for you. All right. The last thing I want to show you- I lied, so last thing I want to show you is cock rings. So cock rings, if your person wants to maintain a harder or a longer erection, cock rings are super great for that. They're not to be worn for more than like 20 or 30 minutes. So they trap the erection that's already in the penis. They trap that pressurized blood there a little bit longer or a little bit harder. So for hand jobs, this might be fun. So putting it on there and having a harder or a more erect penis can allow you to do things that you might not get to do, or you want to move the penis to a different stage in order to do different things. Cock rings are also usually really inexpensive. And if you get one that has like a vibrator on it, cock rings can also be magically used on everybody's body. So they can be used for fingering too. So if you have a vagina, someone can finger you with a cock ring and the vibration of it is going to stimulate the outside of your vagina, potentially your clitoris too. All right, fun times, right? Toys for penises. A lot of toys for penises. I feel like penises don't get enough attention for all of their toys. All right, so thank you everyone for being here tonight, all you hand job- Did we decide we're hand-job heroes? Is that who we are? (laughs) Okay, good, good, I'm so glad. I'm so, so glad you had a good- Yes, HJH, yes. We need like outfits. I feel like we need outfits or at least capes. I don't know. If it's not too much to ask, give me a hand job cake. Cape and cake. Okay, you get a cake too. So in your notes, I'm gonna include the lubes I talked about, the toys I talked about, and the discount code, if you don't want to wait for me and you want to go explore on your own, it's at goodforher.com and you can use LUNA15, and that will get you 15% off your purchase, everything but workshops. I'm so glad you all had such a great time. I'm really, really glad. I'm glad that you showed up tonight. I'm glad that you showed up for yourself. I hope that you can get more pleasure out of giving and these communication skills that we learned in things that are simple like hand jobs can help us when things get more complex or more unfamiliar if you're venturing into kink or you're disclosing trauma, or you're, you know, trying to deepen intimacy in some way. It's really cool to take these skills and extrapolate them into other situations where we can benefit from more communication. Thank you so much, and so what have I got coming up next? If you're not doing anything on Halloween, I'm gonna be having a costume party online and a role play. So if you're interested in role play or dirty talk, come out to that. And then I have rough sex next week. So if you're into rough sex, if you're into rougher things, I'm gonna be teaching folks how to have rough sex safely. And I'm actually, I'm gonna stop the webinar, but you guys hang out for a second. but for those of you who kind of feel, you know, I'm just not sure like if they like it, like if this is like pleasure that's good for them, you can do two things. So one of them is you can do, you know, teach me to touch you. And so this could be about putting your hands on top of their hand while they're stroking, and then doing something else together, so kissing or neck kissing or nipple play, or eye gazing or something like that. It doesn't feel so awkward as it's like, you're just focusing on that one skill, but you're creating sort of a sensual connection between some other type of sexual activity and this like teaching moment where you're basically holding hands on top of their penis. And so that can be really sexy if you want to kind of learn, like, are they stroking in this direction? Are they just stroking the head? Are they pulling towards their stomach? Are they pulling to the left? Are they pulling to the right? So, you know, get them to masturbate with your hand on top of them. You can also do a little show and tell. If you've got a partner that is, maybe you don't live with them all the time and you want to do some like sexy video chat things, or if you are with them in person, and you can say like, "Hey, like, do you want to do a little bit of a show and tell? Like, I can watch you touch yourself." And that can be super exciting if you're a voyeur, so someone who really enjoys the aesthetics or performance of sex. And for your partner, if they're an exhibitionist, they get to show off a little bit and you get to watch how they're touching themselves. You can also join in. You could put on a show and they could put on a show and it's called mutual masturbation, and you can learn about the ways that you both touch yourselves and then replicate that. So that's a little bit of a visual learning without having to sit down and being like, "So tell me exactly where on your penis you like to be touched." Right? Which feels prescriptive. It feels kind of cold. And it's okay to ask in that way too. It's okay in a non-sexy time to say, "Hey, you know, I love giving you hand jobs, but I'm not really sure what to do. Like, what do you like?" And they might say, "Oh, I like everything you're doing, everything you're doing is fine." And you're kind of left like, "Well, but I don't know. I'm just guessing like when I'm doing this." So if they give an answer that is vague or just like sweet and enthusiastic but not informative, you might want to give contrast. So you might say, "Hey, do you like it when I'm playing just with your head? Do you like a firmer stroke? Do you like a softer stroke? Did you like that thing that I did with whatever? Did you like this? Did you like that?" That gives them sometimes an opportunity to respond to a specific moment while knowing there were other moments that they also enjoyed. And so sometimes our partners need this reassurance that we're not gonna feel rejected. We're not gonna feel bad. I am genuinely curious about how to give this penis that I like more pleasure. And you can welcome, you can also open up the conversation around your pleasure too, and be like, "Hey, like, I'm happy to talk about like, you know, other things that I like or things I want to try." So you can make it a conversation that's bigger than just about, you know, getting like a one, two, three about how to give them a better hand job. It could be like, "Did you like when I was kissing your neck and stroking you? 'Cause I thought that was so hot." And give your feedback too, and that can sometimes help model the way that you want to have the conversation. Gooch, oops, I already read the gooch one. Need to do a whole course on- Yes, yes, it's a popular one. I teach bedroom communication. And at first I was like, "Oh, people want sexy things like BJ's." But that class was full. Like people were like, "I don't know how to ask for what I want. I don't know how to, you know, figure out if what I'm doing is right." And that's totally understandable. We're not taught that sex is something that we need to communicate about. We're just taught that it's like, well, you just do the thing. But it's communication like any other kind of human interaction. And that's where we've lost a lot of our conversations around consent that are not just about, "I don't want you to, you know, do something," or "I don't want to do something and then I'm gonna get in trouble." It's more about like, "How can I give you the pleasure that you like, right?" Like I should be here trying to get and give you the pleasure that you like and communicate the pleasure that I like. So hand jobs are a great place to do this, because there is a lot of focus on- Your bodies might be a little bit separate. You might be hyper-focused on this one thing. You might be doing multiple things. Yep, absolutely. There's so much room for improvement in all of our bedroom communication. All right, so another one that falls under communication before we go into hand job helpers, and let me know how you feel about like, the show and tell, how you feel about nonverbal communication. If there are specific verbal things that you want to be able to phrase in a way. This is the place to be able to get this inspiration. The other thing I think, and someone kind of mentioned it, like you know, a hand job is just like, "Oh, okay, just do it and get your mouth on it." Right? Or "Just do it so then I can get hard and we can have penetrative sex." So sometimes a hand job is something on the way to something else and, great. That can be really great too, if that's what you also want. I sometimes find, and it actually takes me out of the moment. And if so if you're someone that struggles with being in the moment, if you're someone who kind of gets into your head and out of your body, this is the type of thing that can get you out of the moment, because your body is noticing, or your self, your sense of pleasure is noticing, "Hey, like we're just doing this thing again to get to that other thing. Like, I'm not even like into this." And we won't say that, right? Most of us won't say that, 'cause we don't want to hurt our partner's feelings. We don't want to seem like we're taking up too much space. Even when I'm having hookups and sex with strangers, you know, pre-COVID then like, I sometimes felt like, "Oh, I don't want to be a bitch." 'Cause we're taught that speaking up about our pleasure is being a bitch or being difficult or being too much or being drama, and it's not. It actually benefits both people, but it's difficult. So if you feel any shame around it, that's shame that we learned and we can definitely unlearn that. So, you know, if your hand jobs are leading to blow jobs too quickly, if your hand job feels like it's just about like jerking them off so they have like a different hand, you can kind of think about like, what am I in the mood for? Am I in the mood for a quickie? Am I in the mood for something that's like a breadcrumb to a blow job? Am I in the mood for a cock massage? Am I in the mood to like, you know, really like get into this in a sensual kind of marathon kind of way? And so knowing what kind of pleasure that you want, you get to ask for it. And so it actually brings more enthusiasm to your partner because you're doing your thing and whatever, and then all of a sudden you're like, "Yeah, like I just want to like get you off." Or "I want to get you hard so that we can fuck." Or "I want to get you like so riled up for like 20 minutes and then see where I'm at." So ask for the pleasure that you want to give. Ask for the options or present the options that you are comfortable giving. And if your partner is used to a particular pattern, if it's like sort of two strokes and then they're like, "Oh babe, like, put your mouth on it." You can say, "Oh, I'm just like really into this. This is so fucking hot watching you get hard in my hand, and like, I just want to do this a little bit longer. Is that okay with you?" And so once we put it out in a way with like, "But I'm really enjoying this and like you look like you're enjoying this," and people just get used to like routine. We get used to like, "Oh, you kiss my mouth, you touch my boobies, and then maybe you go down on me and then we do P and V, right?" And so we have this like very limiting way of having sex and an order of sex and also a very penis-centered, orgasm-centered way of having sex. And it doesn't really benefit anybody, not even people with penises. So this is a chance to kind of discover, celebrate and be enthusiastic about all the other types of pleasure that aren't dependent on getting to penetration or blow jobs, Even if those things are super fun for you as well. It's just about opening up your menu and making everything just as exciting or as enticing, depending on your mood and depending on their mood. So communication has to, you know, really start to become something that you feel empowered by versus now how we feel disempowered that, "Oh, but they're gonna think I'm difficult. They're gonna think this, or they're gonna think I don't like to do blow jobs. They're gonna think-" like this is really about getting that conversation out. So if they think that you don't like to do blow jobs, they're gonna say, "Oh babe, is it because you don't like to do blow jobs?" And you're gonna be like, "No, it's just 'cause like, I'm just loving you up with my hands. I'm like I'm gonna get my mouth there later. But like I just want to be here right now." And so it becomes actually a more authentic and empathetic way of having sex, because you're real. You're not performing for each other anymore. You're meeting each other in your pleasure needs. And this applies in long-term relationships. It applies on your Tinder date. It applies everywhere. It doesn't matter, your level of respect and what you deserve to get in any situation isn't dependent on whether it's for one night or 10,000 nights. Yep, yep, yep. That's always the narrative. Yeah, I mean, I always throw this out to you, any of my BJ or my hand job classes. I'm like, you know, imagine a world where sex didn't end when the penis ended, right? If that wasn't the end of sex. And there is that world. There is that world, even with people with penises and many of us have had lovely experiences where we really enjoy the penetrative things or the hand job things or the blow job things, but we want to continue pleasure beyond ejaculation or beyond the penis owner's orgasm. And so sometimes we get kind of disappointed because the narrative is that, oh, the penis has done, then everything's done. It's not true, you have so many toys, you got hands, you got fingers, you got buttholes, you've got so many things that you can keep things going. Okay, so when I talk about this cock massage and we're gonna get into the techniques now. So I want to introduce cock massage, and then I'll tell you the techniques that you can do to kind of build into it. So when I describe a cock massage, it's more about- It's for sure slowing things down. It's not putting the focus on orgasm. So I'm not giving you a cock massage in the same way that like, like I'm just like jerking it until, you know, it just like, we're just trying to build you towards orgasm. A cock massage is actually about creating pleasure. It's about creating stimulation. It's about creating buildup. And so this can happen on a penis that's soft, a penis that's semi erect, a penis that's super erect, because the techniques that we're gonna use are actually gonna help them deepen into the sensations that we're giving. And so we don't have to kind of- You don't have to go do, like, I dunno, those wrist exercise things, those like muscle things to like build up your wrist stamina to do a cock massage. But cock massages are really something that can be a fun date. So you could set out a date where you're like, "Babe, like tonight, I'm gonna give you, you know, a full body massage. And then I'm gonna give you a cock massage, and like that's how we're gonna finish." And then maybe the next time you're gonna get your genitals attended to. And so you take turns being the center of pleasure and being able to sink into receiving, and you get to sink into giving without worrying that it has to go in a direction that it has always has gone before. And so we're just saying let's just play. Like what would happen if we just didn't do the thing we always do? And I get to focus on like, seeing how much I can extend the pleasure from this hand job? So cock massages are slower. There's no rush to finish, there's a buildup in pleasure. And you get to put your whole sexy self into this cock massage, because you are now the great purveyor of hand job skills that is going to make this massage actually help them have arousal in their whole body. And so when we focus on one area and we don't make it about orgasm, that pleasure and that arousal starts to expand into the rest of our bodies and help arouse under-serviced erogenous zone. So massages with some of the techniques that we'll look at, they can actually be combined with things like making out or neck kissing. Who likes neck kisses? I feel like- Okay, good. Okay. I feel like you're dead on the inside if you don't like neck kisses. So if you're like neck kissing someone- Okay, or tickling, I'm sorry, I'm judging. If you're like, if you're kissing someone's neck and you're giving a slow cock massage, and it's not about like just getting it real quick, but you're like actually, what does your hand feel like on their penis? You know, what does it feel like for you to make this slow movement down things? And for some of us, it's gonna feel awkward as fuck. We're gonna be like, "What are we doing here?" But that awkwardness actually creates a little bit of tension and tease, because it helps keep you in the moment. If you're feeling awkward because your hand is like, you're like, "Well, what do I do next? I'm not sure." That sometimes can, if you sink into the sensation versus like thinking about what am I gonna do next? It becomes more about you playing. It becomes more about you exploring and less about kind of like do this thing, then do this thing. Think about if you were to have a piece of clay and you didn't have any idea what you were gonna make, you know, and you were just kind of like massaging it around and it feels really good in your fingers, and you're like, oh, that part's softer, I like touching the harder parts, and oh, it's kind of cool to roll it like this. That sensation for our hands actually can make us feel really, really sexy. We have so many nerve endings on our fingertips, and so engaging those in pleasure versus just making them in service of someone else's pleasure actually creates more pleasure for both of you automatically. I'm sure this is a past the scope of the class, but yes, men or people with penises are pretty closed off to anything other than heteronormative version of sex. A lot of them fear internalized homophobia. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. There's like- That's a very shared and common experience and it's still a very pervasive experience where, you know, if any of you are on any kind of dating app, you know, if you were to ever bring up anal, automatically it's assumed that the person with the vulva is gonna be the anal receiver. And so I love being on Tinder and someone brings up anal and I'm like, "Oh my God, yeah, I love anal." And they'll say, "Yeah, me too. I love to like, stick it in hard." And I'm like, "Oh my God, me too. I love to pound it in hard." (laughs) And they're like, "Wait, what?" So we can't make assumptions around who likes what or what kind of person. This is also important for us when we're thinking about like dick diversity. And so small dicks aren't better than or worse than big dicks. Big dicks are not better or worse than like- They all have the same pleasure capacity. And if you have a preference for things, that that's up to you, but when we're talking about the actual pleasure potential, all of the techniques I'm gonna show you tonight, you can do on any penis. And most penises that we're seeing in porn or that are referenced in the media, they're not actually- Like most people's penises are not this size. This is probably a big average sized penis, right? An erect penis. So we have a lot of kind of mistaken identities around dicks, and you know, "Like, yeah, then I'm gonna stroke it like this." Nobody's penis is like this. Nobody's penis is the size of my head, right? My partner has had several prostate biopsies. Anal brings up thoughts of pain and stress. Yeah, people are not into anal for- Even if they don't have internalized homophobia. they may just not like anal, and that's totally okay. It's when we're closing ourselves off from anal because of shame, and because we think it says something about who we are or what kind of person, you know, we like to date or that kind of stuff. But even people with vulvas, some people like anal, some people don't. Alrighty. Okay, let's get into- Let's do some techniques. Are you ready for techniques? Yeah? Okay, you got whatever phallic thing you're gonna over there. Let me see all your ph- Good, okay, I see some phallic objects. All right, yes, okay, good. (laughs) Amazing, amazing. You're all so cute. Banana, okay, good. (laughs) Amazing, all right. So what are the techniques? Oh, let me actually talk about lube and then- So hold on to your phallic object. Just because lube is really important. So when we think about lube, a lot of us have had experience with lube that feels kind of goopy and tacky and thick, and it's actually more like the consistency of a lube that you would get at the gyno or any type of internal exam. That lube is not sex lube, you know? And so most of the things you're able to buy in drug stores are unfortunately not that great. They're gonna be filled with additives that are not good for vulvas, and they're gonna be kind of a thicker, lesser quality type of lube. So there's, you know, now we have like lots of options. Someone's mentioning KY and when KY was all we had, right? But like now we've got really good lubes. So for hand jobs, we actually want lubes that are longer lasting. And so hand jobs, because we're not so much worried about, you know, kind of contact with other parts of the body, so if you're avoiding things like pregnancy or STI's, I mean, hand jobs are a pretty low risk activity. And so we can use lubes that don't necessarily need to be compatible with things like condoms. So normally if you're using an oil-based lube and then you want to use a condom afterwards, oil actually reduces the effectiveness of latex. So if you're using latex-based condoms, they're not compatible with oil-based lubes. So just keep that in mind. Some people will have lubes that are water-based. And so some people like water-based lubes because they kind of, they feel very close to vaginal fluids, to the consistency of like semen. And so the ejaculate texture feels great. It doesn't feel like you're like gooping, you know, jelly into your partner or onto your partner's body. So if you like water-based lubes, I usually recommend Sliquid lube. I don't know if you can see it really well, but I will put these in your notes, so don't worry about having to write them down. So you can see, like it's not goopy, right? It's very, very silky. And it's not very- It's not super tacky. Like you're not getting this viscous kind of consistency. So water-based lubes are fine for hand jobs, but they do dry up quicker. If you're like pre-cum or spit is enough. Pre-cum and spit are cute. They are not lube. Because what happens is pre-cum, spit, and then water-based lube, like that's sort of the order within which that they're gonna dry up the quickest. Spit is gonna dry up the quickest, then pre-cum and some people don't produce enough pre-cum to actually be useful. But the other thing is is that this creates, like this silky texture, you can't get that with pre-cum and spit, right? So we want a silky texture because it actually affects the effectiveness and the pleasure of your technique. So you can be doing this move, add lube to it, it is like a whole new thing. So water-based lube is fine if you have water-based lube at home. If you don't have lube at home already, and you're looking- Oh, and I'm gonna moisturize with it. It's also a good moisturizer. If you don't have lube at home already, I would recommend getting a silicone-based lube for hand jobs. So silicone-based lubes, you can't use them on silicone toys, but I mean, we're talking about actual fleshy penises here, so you can use them on penises. They are also very, you can kinda see, like very silky. They're even silkier than water-based lubes. And so no like viscousness at all, right? Like no tackiness. What's great about them is that they don't absorb into the skin as quickly as water-based lube. So they last a really long time. So if you're doing a cock massage and you want to keep it slippery and warm, lubes are also a conductor for heat. And so they help kind of make your hands feel even warmer on a penis. So if someone is uncircumcised, you can put a little bit of lube like I did with my- I'll show you the other side, this looks so painful. Is you can put a little bit of lube inside, like a few drops into their foreskin. So just putting a little bit in there and then sort of like massaging it around so that it makes its way down. So that will combine with their natural lubrication but give you a longer lasting texture. So lube is life in summary. And when you're looking for things like silicone lubes, some people don't like it because they've had experiences where it stains their sheets or it like lasts too long. Keep a towel next to you or put a towel under them. But Uberlube, I use Uberlube, and one of their product claims is that it doesn't stain sheets. It's a silicone lube that doesn't stain sheets. So that's also a super good option for you to just kind of keep like and have it there. And you can make a whole show of like, putting on the lube, right? You're like get down to their penis and you're like, "Oh, I guess we're ready." Right? And then like massage it all around. I have to wipe off some of this lube now. Oh, more moisturizer. (laughs) All right. So how do we feel about exploring a bit with lube? Is that something we're gonna get into? Okay, cool, cool. All right. You can do hand jobs without lube, but like, why create that friction? Like, think about when someone's touching your clitoris it's not wet or lubey. It feels just like dryness, right? Good, I'm glad, yeah. Definitely go for it, because even if you forget any of the techniques and you're like, "Shit, what'd Luna say?" Say just use lube. It'll just like up your game. Okay. So when we're starting with- We're gonna start with one technique, which is called the twister. I'm actually gonna lower my screen and just keep talking to you so that you can see my hands. Okay. So the twister technique, you can do it with one hand, or you can do it with two hands, but it's allowing the shaft to get a lot of stimulation from sort of the strength and the texture of your hands and your knuckles. And so the twister, the two handed twister is you're just making half circles. And so you can start with half circles. You can also do the twister and kind of go down. And so you may go towards the body. You can do the twister and go up. So it's half circle up, half circle up. Or half circle down, half circle down. And remember your hands are gonna be like all slippery and lovely. If this is confusing for you, hold on to the base of the penis, because remember there's all this like stem of the penis that's still in there. So your hands can create a little bit of a cock ring and trap some of the blood a little bit harder in the penis and just take one hand and do the twister. That's totally acceptable. Now the key part of the twister is that whenever you're twisting either up or down towards the frenulum, you're gonna put a little bit extra pressure, or you're gonna put emphasis on this area. So emphasis might be, you know, you're twisting up. and when you get here, you put a little bit of a squeeze, or you make a little bit of an exaggeration motion, so that you're stimulating this area. So you just want to think about like, "Okay, I'm coming up, and then maybe I'm gonna slow a little bit here before I move my hand off." And so twisting can just be- One of the variations I'm gonna mention for all of these is that you can play with speed. So you can twist a little bit faster, or you can twist slower. You can twist like super exaggerated slow. I love doing slow moves to start. But then also once you have a responsive penis or a responsive partner, slow moves are a good way to kind of pause everything and then ramp pleasure back up. So instead of going like pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, we're going pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, and then kind of like leveling off and then pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. So you actually get a deeper level of pleasure. How do we feel about the twister? You like the twister? Yeah? Okay. I'm gonna put some lube, that looks so yummy. Okay, so this one is gonna be- This is my cutest and most favorite one. So this is also how you can put on lube with the twister, right? Like pour it on the top and then kind of move your hand down. So the twister doesn't really go over the head. I'm gonna show you one after that, that goes over the head. This one's called the bouncing octopus. So your hand is gonna be a cute little octopus and you're gonna hold on to either the base of the penis or the shaft of the penis, depending on what your partner's size is. My hands are super huge, so I like to hold on to the base of the penis. And you're gonna take the tips, kind of the pads of your fingers, you're starting at the head and you're moving down until it hits the back of your hand. And so it's a motion where you're moving down, your fingers are grazing the most sensitive parts of the penis. It's moving down to the shaft and it's hitting against the back of your hand. One of the key things about this motion is that when you're moving down, it's not a passive feathery moving down, this is an intentional pushing and pulling back up. So you're using your fingers or your tentacles as ways to kind of increase pressure and pleasure on all of the hotspots as you're going up and down. And so this can also be something that you increase with speed. This can be something you can add a little bit of a twist to. You can put your other hand and do something else while you're doing this. But this one is really nice, because the back of the hand feels like it's hitting the back of a vagina or a part of an anus, and so it just would like move- It gives it a little bit of a feeling of being encapsulated. So you're kind of like trapping this. With this change- Oh, if I had a penis, this move would look amazing. Yes. I know. I know, right? Would it change with an uncircumcised penis or no, because of the lighter touch? Oh, I'm gonna show you the octopus on- I'm gonna show you the octopus and the twister on the uncircumcised penis for sure, yes. Yeah, it does. It looks really good, right? So imagine if your partner, you know, your partner is like looking at you like this. This is the view you're getting, and you're just doing this like sexy octopus, and notice your fingers. Like, "Did you do your nails for this hand job?" You know, "Like did you like cut your nails?" Like look at your sexiness and like the movement, like connect to all of that. So I'm gonna show you two techniques at a time, and I'll take a break and then show you on uncircumcised penis, or show you on both of the models. So for uncircumcised penises, for the twister, if your person, if their foreskin is still sort of up, and if it hasn't retracted, or if you want to use the foreskin, the twister works the same way. And so the foreskin gets to be part of the kind of texture creation, of the motion of what's going on. You can also use your one hand to hold and retract to where it's comfortable for them to hold the foreskin and retract it, and then use this hand for the bouncing octopus, or for the twister, right? So we've got sort of a twist octopus or for the twister. And so we're still massaging the most sensitive parts of the penis on the uncircumcised penis, but we get to use the head as like an extra kind of texture. And I'm actually gonna talk with you about a sex toy that kind of feels like a foreskin. And so for circumcised penises, we can also give a similar sensation that that foreskin would have. I'm gonna show this one on uncircumcised penises first. So this is called scissor fingers. And I want to mention, I'm gonna show this on, on if someone has a smaller but erect or non-erect penis, it actually doesn't matter. So scissor fingers are about kind of using the crevice between two fingers to create a sensation. So this is super fun because it's gonna be a wet and lubey. And so you're gonna lube up your hands and your scissor fingers are going up and down, but then these two knuckles are also kind of either in the front of the penis, or they're just around the side of the penis. So you're tucking two fingers in and you're using the other two. Your thumbs are also free. So I'm gonna turn it and maybe I'll do it this way. Well, I can't because it's backwards. Okay, but my thumbs are also free to do things too. So if you're a scissor fingering and you want your thumbs to do something at the same time. So I could be and then using my thumbs to massage the frenulum, right? And so it's a motion that allows you to kind of give more concentrated pleasure, whereas this one is more encompassing, and this one feels more encompassing. It's actually good to mix up an encompassing one and a directed pleasure one, because every time you start to rise up the stimulation in the shaft, and then you take a little bit of a break for it and you're giving it less attention, less touch, less stimulation, it starts to get excited, it starts to crave more. So think about when, you know, if you were to have your hand right now, and if you were to lick your hand and then wait a few seconds and then exhale onto your hand, you're gonna feel a sensation, because you've changed the temperature of your hand by licking it and then blowing your hot breath on it. So it's the same thing with texture and pressure. We're giving pressure, pressure, pressure, lots and lots of touch, and then we're still giving stimulation, but it's a little bit less. Okay, so scissor fingers on a cut penis would look very similar. And so again, my thumbs are here, they're doing some fun things. And then my fingers are doing most of the work. So that one can also be a really sexy move if they are standing up and you're giving them sort of a towards your face, because it's like you're drawing their penis, you're jerking it or stroking it towards your face or towards your body. So there's sort of a visual kind of hotness to this. Oh, Krima oh, no problem. Have a sweet night, thank you for joining us. Your new partner is quite rough with himself when self-pleasuring, but I'm scared to be rough, any advice, please? Yes, for sure. And when a partner orgasms, unsure when to stop touching them or keep going till the end of orgasm. Okay, yes. I will answer both of those for sure. I'm gonna continue with the techniques, and you will have those in the replay, so you will get those answers, I promise. With our next kind of move. So we've got 10 moves to go through, so I gotta get you all these 10 moves. The next one is anchor and stroke. And so anchor and stroke is about- So if anyone struggles with like kind of hand coordination, this one's pretty good. So what it means is you're gonna create an anchor with one hand, similar to the twister. You're holding onto the base. And then the other hand is gonna create sort of an upward type of motion. So you're bringing the stroking upwards, and this can go over the head. So you're actually sort of- I'm gonna take off this one. So it looks you're grabbing it. You're pulling, you're sort of massaging. I'm putting emphasis around underneath the head and I'm coming all the way over the head. And so the anchor means your hand's creating a little bit of a cock ring again, and trapping more blood flow in here, which means there's gonna be more sensation. There's gonna be even more sensitivity. And this hand is kind of using it to sort of milk. So you can use it, you can stroke in this direction, or if your partner- So I'm gonna stick this kind of to my chest. So if this was my biologically attached penis, and you've watched me masturbate, and this is how I masturbate, right? Then when you're doing the anchor and stroke, you're gonna try and mimic the same kind of cupping. If I this way, cool. If I'm masturbating towards my own body, then you're gonna try and manipulate your stroke in the direction that they are normally enjoying. All right. Likewise, for uncircumcised penises, the anchor might also mean that your anchor is holding onto the foreskin. And so depending on someone's anatomy and how much it retracts and what's comfortable for them, the stroke could include just a portion of the exposed penis, or it could be the entire penis, and you're holding the foreskin back completely. And so the anchor and stroke, the only difference for uncircumcised penises is that you have options. You can either have it using the foreskin. So you can anchor- People's foreskins don't fold back like this, just FYI. This is just my dildo. This is why I ripped it last time, because it doesn't retract easily. All right. So (laughs) If you're holding onto their penis and let's say they aren't fully erect yet, or the foreskin hasn't retracted, you can actually use the foreskin. So you're gonna hang on- I know, poor rippy, I know. You're gonna hang onto the base of the penis, and then you're gonna do a little bit of stroking. So if you're stroking your bananas or you're stroking your water bottles, you want to see like, are you- 'Cause there's a difference between like, touching, right? And feeling something. So are you feeling this stroke? What does it feel like if you squeeze harder? What does it feel like if you go downwards? What does it feel like if you go slower? What does it feel like if you look at your hand versus not looking at your hand? So these are all ways for you to get your own kind of sexiness in there. This one I call the cuddle fist. So the cuddle fist is- The cuddle fist is a technique that's focused on the heads of the penis. And so basically you're making a fist and your hands are gonna be all lubed up. I'm gonna add more lube to my hands. And the cuddle fist is your wrapping sort of- Your focus is around from the base and underneath the head. And so that would be the base and underneath the head here. And then what we're doing is we're trying to create almost a suction with our fist. And so the move, it sort of looks like- It sort of looks like a stroke, but if I slow it down, it's a closing around, a grasping, and then sort of a pulling up. So your hand doesn't ever really leave, right? So it's sort of like, we're still giving pressure, even if you're doing it this way, if you're doing it pulling towards you, if you're going down on the cuddle fist, but this one is really effective in this type of motion. So wrapping your hand around one part of the shaft. And actually I'm gonna do it on a smaller penis so that it actually makes more sense. So this hand would be around one part of the shaft, and then this hand would sort of be moving it up. So this one can go really, really, really quickly, and can get someone super hard really quick, and they may feel that that's a little bit overstimulating, but then you can slow it down, and your hand is never really coming away. And so it's always having contact with the base of your hand. How does that one feel? How do you like the cuddle fist? Sounded like I was gonna punch it, but- (laughs) I do like punching dicks too. (laughs) Okay. Let's do- This one's called- So the cuddle fist, sorry. The cuddle fist also works the exact same way on a penis that is uncircumcised, and so you're either pulling the foreskin back as is comfortable, and then we're still keeping our hand attached to it. This one, actually I found, you know, you can use it when the penis is also not super erect. So if it's not super erect, I love this question around like how rough can you be with penises? So with penises that aren't erect, you can actually be a lot rougher. Like you can grab more, you can pull more, because the sensitivity isn't there yet. This is all just kind of like muscle, and when it's filled up with blood, that's where the sensitivity starts to increase. So you can try some of these techniques a little bit rougher on a penis that isn't erect, and it's not going to be painful in the same way if I came at, you know, this one like super rough. For people are who are really interested in rougher techniques, you can kind of start with a slower and then be like, "Babe, when you want me to go harder, I need you to tell me harder." Right? Or you can say, you can ask them, "Hey, like, you know, can I go harder? I kind of feel like going a little bit like rougher on you." And they will tell you when it doesn't feel good, because in the same way that if someone were to like, take teeth onto your unaroused clitoris, you're gonna tell them it's not gonna feel good. Right? Hopefully. Yes, looks looks more gentle than it sounds. Yeah, it does, it does. Looks good especially if your partner prefers focus on the head. For sure. Some people's heads are too sensitive, and they don't actually like a ton of focus. So for those people, you can- You don't really have to do cuddle fist, or you do it sort of slowly and gently. And it becomes more of like you're petting instead of like actually like dragging something. For folks that love it, you could go a little bit rougher, and remember rougher or more intense techniques with lube are less likely to cause kind of injury or pain, because the texture is mitigating the kind of muscle and the strength or the speed that you're putting into something. Okay, we have a couple more. So clasped fingers. So clasped fingers are- Let's do it on the small one again, 'cause I feel like this is unrealistic. But I'll show you it on the uncircumcised penis too. So clasped fingers are about taking the palms of your hands, so nice and lubed up. It's actually even sexy if like you warm them up or maybe you were like touching yourself first and your hands are all nice and warm, and you kind of like go over the penis and settle your palms around the shaft. And then you're gonna clasp your fingers. And so the head is gonna be popping out a little bit, or your thumbs, depending on the size of the person's penis and the size of your hands, your thumbs might be kind of nuzzling around the head of the penis, which is again, right, perfect for underneath the most sensitive parts of the penis. So the clasping, this is actually a technique of kind of encasing again, but this is a lot stronger than just having like two scissor fingers, right? So this is creating heat. This is creating pressure and this is creating this kind of consistent warmth that can make someone feel really, really excited. And so in this position, you're not making big strokes, right? I mean, if you have a giant 12 inch penis with you, maybe you're making like big strokes, but you know, with most penises, what we're doing is we're kind of like massaging without really going anywhere. And so this is a good one if you like spit, this is a good time to like spit on a penis and then kind of just like allow your fingers to massage around the head. This one, if you are- You can't do this one one-handed obviously, but let's say you're working with a penis that is smaller or is not as erect. You can still do it, right? So I'm still holding onto the penis, and instead of going up and down, maybe there's no room to do that. What I might do is go side to side. And so that side to side rolling along with the stimulation on the head can feel really, really yummy for someone. All right, so you've had twister, you had bouncing octopus, you had scissor fingers, anchor and stroke, cuddle fist, clasped fingers. And for clasped fingers on uncircumcised penises, it's actually very similar to the benefits of, of stroking, of the anchor and stroke, where we can use the foreskin. And so the foreskin actually becomes a part of the clasp. If you want to do the clasp or they want to do the clasp with their foreskin retracted, you can ask them to hold their foreskin, and then you're gonna clasp and you're gonna use the exposed part of the penis to give pleasure to. Alrighty. Oh, this poor foreskin. God, they need a version two of this dick. (laughs) Okay, well, we're done with these demos for now. We'll let it lube up over there. Maybe it just needs some time. When we're looking at one other technique that you can kind of mix in, whether it's on a uncircumcised penis or a circumcised penis, is you can kind of use your thumbs when you're in a position where you're holding or you're grasping. Or if you're grasping even with one hand, like your thumb is a different texture. So think about if you were to like suck on your thumb or a finger and then just like drag it slowly and around the penis while holding the shaft with your hand. That's a really good warmup move and it's hot as fuck, because you get to, you know, kind of like do a little bit of like a visual like "Mmm, yes, and this is like what we're gonna do tonight, right? Or like, "Mmm, I was just want to get my spit all over your penis." So that can be a way to sort of feel like that you are owning it, right? Like you're entering this intentionally. I like to use the thumbs as a little ritual. Like it's for me to be like, "Yeah, like I want to do this. Like, I'm gonna make this dick like, feel so amazing." And it allows you to kind of like find your thing to center on in all of this, in all of this hand pleasure. So I've got a couple more for you. So think about using your body in your hand jobs. And so if you- If you like, if you're a person is lying down and you want to straddle their thigh, or you want to straddle their shin, whatever's comfortable for them, and let them feel the warmth of your genitals, the warmth of between your legs on their body while you're giving them a hand job, you can also use your chest. So it doesn't actually matter what size of chest you have, but you can alternate between like having your hands and then putting your chest, resting it on their body, and kind of just like moving it over their lubed up penis. And so that looks visually delicious. If for you, if you have sensitive nipples, that's also a great way to kind of like rub your nipples on something and gyrate a little bit and get attention for yourself. So using other parts of your body can be really sexy. And someone mentioned, you know, kind of like integrating pleasure for the other parts of the body into hand jobs. Like when we learn a new skill, and this is everyone's challenge, we hyper focus on the area that we've learned the new skill about. And so this person has no other thing except for their penis. They have no other thing except for their anus. They have no other for whatever area that we're focusing on. So one thing to remember, and a way to get engaged in the rest of their body, is that when you're starting the hand job, like you've decided, they've decided it's hand job time, you're gonna make your way down to the hand job so painfully slow, right? And so that doesn't mean that you can only be sensual. Slow has nothing to do with- You can be slow and rough. You can be slow and powerful. You can be slow and submissive. You can be slow and sensual. You can be slow and sassy. You can be slow and sweet. Slowness is about creating tease for them. And when you create tease for them, they don't know exactly when you're gonna get to their hand job, and so you'll notice if you're starting to touch other parts of their body, they're already gonna start to get either erect or their breath is gonna change, or they're gonna get kind of excited, because you're allowing them an opportunity to be really present in their body because they don't know what's next. And so when you finally get down to the hand job, remember they've got inner thighs, right? Inner thighs are so sensitive. So you could drag your hands down their stomach, their, you know, lower belly around their penis, but then out their inner thighs, use your fingernails if they like that. You can kiss those areas. I love putting my face next to a penis, but I'm not gonna put it in my mouth, I'm gonna do something else. So giving that like tease, so it's like you go in and then, oh, you're like, "Oh, but look, I discovered your thighs." And then you're like, "Oh, your dick again." And then you come back to the dick. And so it gets to feel like you're creating a rhythm. It gets to feel like- Oh, it's starting to thunderstorm. I'm just gonna close my window. (laughs) And so it gets to feel like you're creating some sort of consistency in the seduction of it. And remember, this doesn't have to be like- You don't have to be like hand job heroes like every single time. Like once you start to wield that slowness and that sensation-based approach to their body, it actually just becomes something that makes you feel really sexy. You're like, "Mmm, I'm turning on my hand job hero power. I know what's coming next, right?" And when you're focused on their penis with your hands, and you're doing all these kinds of things, what you can do is when you want to pull away from that intensity of pleasure, is do a simple stroke that you're able to do, so do the bouncing octopus, take the other hand and then you can either do a perineum stroke or you can hold a vibrator against their perineum, or take the other hand and like move it up their body, just drag it all the way up their body. And all I'm doing is like massaging the head. So you could do even, you could do the cuddle fist. Oh, it's stuck to the table. You could do the cuddle fist while you're moving like this hand all the way up their body. How many of you like eye contact? Who's into eye contact? I feel like eye contact is one of the sexiest things that- Yeah, I love like- It's like eye fucking, you know? It can make you feel super shy, super awkward, but because it's so intense, right? It's so intense to be seen and to see someone. And so you could play with eye contact. That's another way to connect the rest of the body. And so you could be focusing on the penis, and then maybe you just kind of like look up a little bit, make eye contact, and then like go back down to like whatever you're doing. If you don't want to be looked at while you're trying out like the bouncing octopus or whatever, give your partner a blindfold, if they're comfortable being blindfolded. That way you don't have to be watched while you're like, "Okay, Luna said the bouncing octopus. Okay, I'm gonna try the octopus." You know? And so you can actually approach it in a way that it's about like, we're focusing on this sensation tonight. So I want to take away this sense to heighten the rest of your other senses. Okay. So that was using the rest of your body. And then I've got three more for you, but I'm just gonna check out your questions here. Looks good, especially if your partner- Okay, sorry, I read that one. Erectile tissue beyond the penis in the body. Are these also utilizing that? Yeah, so anytime that you're grasping the base of the penis, that's gonna give some stimulation into the boomerang part of the penis that's inside the body. It depends on the position, but if you're pressing against that, so if you're grasping sort of behind the balls at the base of the penis, and you're using this part of your hand to like press against the body, sometimes it presses onto their bladder, and so it can feel like they have to pee. So we want just the pressure to be in our fingers and less on against the side of their body, like pressing against their body. Alrighty. All right. Partners is, and I'm too shy. I take off my glasses during sex. That's so good, that's so good. Then you're like, "Huh, don't know what's happening. Don't know if it's hot or not, but it feels good." Because a lot of sex we've been told is like so performative. And we focus on like, "Oh, like I should look and sound a certain way in sex." When most of us actually sound a lot more guttural and primal during sex. We don't sound like uh, uh, that's porn. That's intended for us to have a particular emotion and reaction to that sound. It's sensationalized in produced porn. So for us, sometimes it's hard to get out of that, because we haven't seen real people have real sex, right? Like we're still all just kind of clumsily trying to you know, mimic those kinds of possibilities, right? Okay. And Krima, I want to answer your questions. So this is a question that might be relevant for lots of you too. So this idea of being rough and not knowing if it's okay to be rough. I think this is an opportunity to also talk about, you know, or to engage in communication. And so using that simple kind of like, "Wwell, should I like turn this up a notch? Is this good? Or do you need it like good?" And getting them to even put their hand on top of your hand and show you like how rough they like it. Remember too, that the way that they touch their bodies is not necessarily going to be the exact same recreation. We're just looking for like, hints about what direction to go. We're not looking to create their same, you know, calloused hands that they've known like since they were like five and like become their fists. Like we're actually giving them a different kind of pleasure. Then that's why, you know, it's really important for, you know, for us to maintain these sexual relationships to ourself and then have partnered sex as well. When a partner orgasms, unsure whether to stop touching them. So this one, I really- This is a really good question. So this also depends on the person. So some people like to keep the stroke going after orgasm, but slower and not on the head. And so the head becomes too sensitive after orgasm for most people. Excuse me. Especially for penises that are uncircumcised, like the head is gonna be too sensitive. So what you're doing is, let's say you're doing this, and this like makes them orgasm and your hand's like all full of jizz, what you can do is just start to like slowly stroke around here. Right? And so you're just gonna slowly stroke the shaft in sort of a gentle, not a lot of pressure and just avoid the most sensitive areas. Because it is abrupt if you're like, they come and then you're like, "Whoa!" And you just like dive out of the way and like abandon their dick. So we want to stay with the pleasure, but we don't want to add extra sensation to super sensitive areas. Okay. Definitely more primal sounds for you. Yes, me too. My partner is older and has a softer erection, so hand jobs and re-introducing him to sex, pleasure for just him, I'm into this to bring him back into pleasure. Yeah, that's awesome. That's why I like cock massages. I had a partner where I would give him a full body massage and then I would give him a cock massage, and the combination of arousing all of these other parts of his body that get ignored, so thighs and knees and shoulders and chest and backs all have a lot of nerve endings, and getting someone into that relaxed state and then giving them a cock massage for like 10 or 15 minutes or whatever's comfortable, that sometimes can contribute to full body orgasms, where they feel the orgasm in their penis, but they feel a sensation like that is orgasmic in the rest of their body. So if you are dealing with someone that has softer erections or has kind of fickle erections, that's totally fine. Hand jobs are a great place to have that, because a penis does not need to get erect for a hand job. And it is not a sign of a successful hand job that it's erect. It is you're here to kind of give this pleasure in a way that feels good for both of you. Yes, that's also a misconception that you're just trying to mimic their hand. Yeah, and I think some of us have had experiences where it feels like they're just trying to tell us how to mas- I definitely have. I've had experiences where I'm like, "Huh, so I'm just here to like, do you the way you do you, and like, this is not fun for me." Sometimes it was fun in that there were other things that made it fun, but if it sort of isolated into like, "Oh yeah, like I love jerking off. I just want you to jerk me off." You know, it depends how you feel about it. If that's sexy for you, if it feels spontaneous, if it feels giving, you feel of service, you feel like playful, do it. That's totally fine. But that shouldn't be the default narrative around hand jobs. We're not sort of just replacing their hand. We're giving a lot more intimacy and creativity into that. Okay, so I've got three more techniques for you. And so this one is a hand to mouth one. And so if your partner does like BJs, this is actually really good if your partner likes deep throating and you don't like deep throating, because porn has basically told us that deep throating is like the epitome of blow jobs, and it is not. So I just explained to you penis anatomy, right? Where is the most sensitive part of the penis? Not here. So a lot of times deep throating is around like the visual of it. It could also be around the feeling of like, kind of that encasement. And so your warm mouth, your warm throat, sort of captured around the penis. But hand jobs, hand job, hand mouth combos are a great way to kind of mimic that. And so now we know where to grasp the penis. So we're grasping on this model, I mean, I'm grasping- You can grasp behind the balls. You can grasp like around the balls. My circumcised penis doesn't have balls, but we're grasping at the base. And you can either hold onto the base and do things with your mouth and this hand where your mouth and your hand are actually a continuation of each other, so they become like a tunnel. And so your hand is going down and then your mouth is going down with it, right? And so I'm not gonna do that, 'cause I have to talk, but your mouth would go down and follow your hand. You can also create even more sensation by holding on, like covering the shaft with one hand and then using your sort of like the cuddle fist, right? So we're gonna cuddle around it and then bringing it down and again, like using your mouth. And so your hand is mainly focused on this area. You're keeping this one still, and we're just going down and kind of moving with it. Hand jobs are also fun if you're kind of doing it up this way, you can take a break. So for those of you that struggle with pacing and with like figuring out like what to do next, you're gonna do a technique long enough that you can get a rhythm and a buildup to see if it's even doing anything. And so there's no pressure. Like I wouldn't be sitting here counting, being like, "Okay, I've done this for 15 strokes. Doesn't seem to be working. Should move on." You're gonna do it for a little bit and be like, "Babe, do you like that?" And if they're like, "Oh yeah, it feels so good." Or if they're kind of like, "Mmm," and you've learned their pleasure responses. You can also decide like, 'Okay, I'm gonna switch to something else." And then if this was working better, then go back to this. Right? And so take the pressure off of yourself to be the kind of producer of the hand job. You are here to offer a hand job. You are here to offer pleasure. You're here to offer intimacy, playfulness, relaxation, connection. And so that can be the, the mixing up of the hand and the mouth, that can be a good way to have pacing as well. So you can be stroking for a bit, and then maybe I spit on it and I'm like licking around the head. Now it's all like wet again. Maybe I used flavored lube and I'm eating like a caramel latte dick. And then we're gonna like move the hand with the spit or with the lube and move it down. And so you get to kind of alternate between hand and mouth. That also helps folks that are not so crazy about blow jobs or their jaw gets tired, or they just find it overwhelming to try and do more coordinated moves. So you can do them in alternate. So do this for a bit and then maybe like lick, make it nice and wet and then do something again. Any of the lubes that I showed you are safe to ingest and they're tasteless. So they don't actually taste like anything. They're not gonna taste chemical. Or like, if you were to put some sort of medical lube in your mouth. How do we feel about hand and mouth? Do we like hand and mouth combos? I feel like they're fun. Like they help me pace a little bit, because I tend to rush through things. I'm like bouncing octopus, okay, cuddle fist. And so I like mixing doing one thing and then like doing something with my mouth and then doing something again. I find that that's pretty helpful. All right. The other two that I'm gonna talk about actually have to do with butts and prostates and then positions. But I want to mention for all of these eight that we've talked about. So you have eight techniques, but you actually have like way more than that, because any of those techniques, you can mix up with speed, with pressure, with rhythm and with direction. So all of them have these like infinite kind of combinations. You can also play with things like temperature. So if you were doing a hand/mouth combo, and you spit on the dick and you started stroking a little bit, and then you (exhales) onto it, that's gonna give it a completely different sensation. You can play with ice cubes. You can play with cooling lubes. You can play with warming lubes. I would stay away from weed lubes if you're doing hand jobs, because some weed lubes- If your partner is hypersensitive, if they, you know, two strokes and like, they've come, weed lubes are good because for penises, they actually relax the muscle. And so if someone struggles with erections already or getting hard, weed lubes are not a good idea to use on their penis. But you can use them if someone is a little bit too sensitive. You can also do that by adding a condom. That will decrease some of the sensitivity. Okay, I don't really understand what cock massage is. So it's instead of stroking, we're massaging the penis. So those techniques are more focused on massage and less focused on like milking an orgasm out of someone. So it's a change both in the technique and in the intention behind it, and so what you're trying to do. What lubes are good, more natural if you're moving from hand job to blow job? Some tastes very chemical. Caramel lube got- Yes. So Wicked, Wicked is a brand of lubes that it's safe for vulvas because- It's a safe flavored lube for vulvas. So if you want to sit on that penis afterwards, don't put anything on it that, unless you're gonna use a condom on it after, don't put anything on it that might also transfer into your body, and if you're already prone to UTIs or yeast infections, flavored lubes that have sugar or glycerin, usually it's written as glycerin in it, are not gonna be good for your body. So Wicked is actually flavored with Stevia, and so it's totally safe and they taste amazing. They don't taste like those cough syrupy kind of strawberry lubes. They taste like, I have a pink lemonade one. I ate a pink lemonade asshole, it was great. So you can use those types of lubes. You're gonna find those at sex positive sex shops. You're not gonna find them like on sort of bigger, more commercial sex brands. I have a code for you for a local feminist sex shop to save 15%. So I mean, lube is a good thing to just stock up on. I'm gonna include that in your notes for you. You liked hand/mouth. Okay, great. That's the only thing you can pace, amazing. Never thought of a direction like to the side and upward. Yeah, it's hard to get imaginative with it, because we've just seen this. Right? Like we haven't seen really anything else. Okay, so I just want to mention before we close up. Butts and prostate. So for some people, they really enjoy having the combo pleasure of a hand job and either external anal play or even a finger or a toy in their penis or in their anus. And so do you have to kind of gauge the level of comfort with your partner and have that discussion. Nobody should be touching anybody's butt until like permission and consent has been given. It's not fun to be kind of surprised. There's no such thing as surprise anal, basically. That's what our- lube is life, and there's no such thing as surprise anal. But if your partner is into butt stuff, I'm gonna show you two butt plugs that are really good to be inside. So you're looking for butt plugs that don't take up too much space inside of their body. So this is from Njoy and I'm gonna put these in your notes for you. So the Njoy butt plug, and this one is the B-Vibe butt plug. And what I like about B-Vibe is that it has a freakin' remote control. So you can put this in your partner's butt, give them the remote, and then you can focus on your hand job and they can control their butt pleasure, right? Or when they're jerking off, if they're doing a little show for you, you can hold on to the remote and control the pleasure in their butt. This also has a YouTube or an app, and so a Bluetooth app so you can connect with that as well. This one is great because it's curved in a way. So this is straighter. This is not necessarily gonna stimulate the prostate. But this is curved in a way that it would hit the prostate and provide that kind of firm pressure to it. So you could be rocking this in their penis while you're doing something, you know, with your hand, right? So you could do cuddle fist and like put this in their penis, in their anus. Why do I keep saying penis? Anus. It's 'cause it's not a butt stuff night. I'm just talking about dicks tonight. Okay. With position. So positions is another area where you can mix things up. Are there particular positions you like to give hand jobs in? Is this something- Do you like it when your partner's like lying down? Do you like it when they're standing up? Think about like, you could even come from behind and start to play with them and playing through their clothing or through their underwear is a good way to start a hand job, right? Because you're creating tease. And so maybe you're just grabbing, massaging, stroking, you know, playing with it. And then maybe you go away, and they're cooking dinner, and you're like, "Yeah, I'll see that later. You know, I'll see you in the cuddle fist later." And so thinking about like all the different ways that you can play with someone. A hand job can be given if they are on all fours. So that might be a position that they feel really sexy in and you can reach around them and or stroke between their legs and stroke their penis that way, and it's almost like you're milking a cow, but you now have techniques other than just this, right? Them standing up is also a fun one. Them sitting on a chair with their legs spread. You can also do hand jobs in a 69 position. So you could be sitting on their face, and for some people, this modified 69 is actually more fun than a regular 69, because they find it kind of intimidating or the height difference is like not good, and you just can't be on each other. So if you're kind of leaning a little bit up, but a little bit forward, and then you've maybe got one hand to balance you, and then you've got your other hand. I had a partner where I could see when his toes were starting to like curl, and I was like, "Oh yeah, we're close, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna back off because I want this to last." (laughs) So you can start to notice parts of their body, or maybe they start to react in a certain way to giving you head while they're playing. If you need stimulation too, remember, you can put toys inside you, you can hold toys against yourself. You can be in a position where they're lying down and you're on all fours, and would have your butt close to their face, and then your hands are working them and their hands are free. So their hands can reach around and touch your nipples or your genitals or your anus and give you pleasure while you're giving them pleasure. So mix up those positions. It totally keeps it interesting versus like flop and you know, like here, it's hand job time. All right, never thought of direction. Like, oh, sorry, that one I already read. Always feel like he is lying down. I want to try it with him standing up. Yes, so if you want to try it with him standing up, start to give that flirtation. Start to leave those breadcrumbs of sexiness like when he is standing up. And so when he's standing up, you could even come behind him and start to touch him and say, "You know, I would love to stroke you while you're in this position, like while you're standing up and I get to kneel down and look up at you. I think that'd be so hot." And so when we create like sexual changes or prompts or breadcrumbs outside of our sexual experiences, sometimes it's less intimidating. It's a little bit easier to communicate with all of like the hormones and the hotness happening. So that can be a fun way to kind of mix things up. All right, so I'm gonna give you- How many- Oh, I already told you a lot of the pro tips. I have two pro tips left for you. One tip is called- How many of you have heard of the technique called edging? Have you heard of edging? So edging can be done on anybody's body. Yes, yes, yes. How do we feel about edging? Do we like edging? You've heard of it? Okay, I'm gonna explain it. Amazing, you're curious, cool. Love it, okay, all right. So I love giving edging. I don't like receiving it, because I'm an instant gratification person. And so edging is about using a technique or a rhythm that is continuous, and you're taking the person to close to orgasm, but when you get to that vibration, like sometimes the penis vein will vibrate or you know their certain mode or move or sound they're making, they're about to come, or they tell you, you know, I'm gonna come soon. Then what you want to do is you back off of that pleasure that is going to take them to orgasm. So backing off doesn't mean stroke, stroke, stroke, you're about to come, and you're like, "Oh, look at my nails. I haven't done my nails yet." It means that you're gonna stroke, stroke, stroke, I'm about to come, and I slow it down. And maybe I'm gonna move to a different part of the penis that isn't as sensitive. That might also mean that I take a complete break, but I exit by like just like dragging my fingers, dragging out. Maybe I look up and make eye contact. Maybe I come back in and then, "Oh, here we are again." So what this does is it actually deepens their perception and their experience of the sensations that you're giving, because we're bringing it to an almost boiling point, but then we're letting it simmer, right? So we're not taking it over the top. This is actually the point where some people with penises can train themselves to have multiple orgasms. So in both vulvas and penises, orgasm and ejaculation are separate events. In penises, they happen seconds apart, but they are separate events. So someone of the penis could potentially ejaculate or have an orgasm without ejaculating. And so they can retain erection. They can retain their hardness without losing the ability to orgasm or the opportunity to orgasm. So it's this point of right before orgasm, where we have to learn or they have to learn it, because the way that you give a multiple is that when they're about to come, they actually have to practice this on their own first, because it's such a specific point, and they have to learn to control that point between orgasm and ejaculation. And so it's about kind of squeezing. Ugh, this one's all dried up. So it's about squeezing just under the head, and during right before ejaculation, and so that squeeze is actually gonna pinch the urethra. And so the urethra is where urine and semen comes out of. And so pinching that allows the body to experience orgasm without ejaculating. So that's like next level, right? You can tell your partner about it and tell him to try practicing what that might be like if they're masturbating, and if they can kind of like pay attention to like, what does it feel like in that moment, you know, before orgasm? They'd have to sort of tune into it and then give you information about it. And my other favorite thing. I'm actually gonna be giving away some of these in my November newsletter. So if you're not on my newsletter list, get on there. I want to give you some cock sleeves. So these are called masturbation sleeves. So you can see how on the inside they're kind of textured. They've got like ridges. And then on the outside, mine's a little bit dirty, because they do pick up a lot of like hair and stuff. So what we do with these is we put some lube on the inside and we put them over the head of the penis. I'm gonna bring you back down. And so this becomes a sleeve, so that warm, wet lube and that like textured pattern on the inside, it actually becomes like a little jerk off sleeve. So it sounds horrible. I feel we could do like ASMR with this. (squishing) (laughs) But that's also because it's on a dildo, but like on skin and on flesh, this can feel super, super good. So this is very similar to- It's basically a smaller version of like fleshlights. So those masturbation cases that people with penises can use to jerk off into. It's supposed to simulate the inside of an orifice, so an anus or a vagina. And these are usually- You can use them a few uses. You just wash them out afterwards, but they're super fun. And you can also use them on penises that are uncircumcised. So you actually put it, you can put it over and use it so it gives that sensation, or you can retract the foreskin and then use it on just like even the top of the head, right? That's even gonna make it a super fun sensation. So they're fairly inexpensive. I'm giving away this brand, this like Tenga Egg. So they're called Tenga Eggs. I'll put these in your notes as well for you. All right. The last thing I want to show you- I lied, so last thing I want to show you is cock rings. So cock rings, if your person wants to maintain a harder or a longer erection, cock rings are super great for that. They're not to be worn for more than like 20 or 30 minutes. So they trap the erection that's already in the penis. They trap that pressurized blood there a little bit longer or a little bit harder. So for hand jobs, this might be fun. So putting it on there and having a harder or a more erect penis can allow you to do things that you might not get to do, or you want to move the penis to a different stage in order to do different things. Cock rings are also usually really inexpensive. And if you get one that has like a vibrator on it, cock rings can also be magically used on everybody's body. So they can be used for fingering too. So if you have a vagina, someone can finger you with a cock ring and the vibration of it is going to stimulate the outside of your vagina, potentially your clitoris too. All right, fun times, right? Toys for penises. A lot of toys for penises. I feel like penises don't get enough attention for all of their toys. All right, so thank you everyone for being here tonight, all you hand job- Did we decide we're hand-job heroes? Is that who we are? (laughs) Okay, good, good, I'm so glad. I'm so, so glad you had a good- Yes, HJH, yes. We need like outfits. I feel like we need outfits or at least capes. I don't know. If it's not too much to ask, give me a hand job cake. Cape and cake. Okay, you get a cake too. So in your notes, I'm gonna include the lubes I talked about, the toys I talked about, and the discount code, if you don't want to wait for me and you want to go explore on your own, it's at goodforher.com and you can use LUNA15, and that will get you 15% off your purchase, everything but workshops. I'm so glad you all had such a great time. I'm really, really glad. I'm glad that you showed up tonight. I'm glad that you showed up for yourself. I hope that you can get more pleasure out of giving and these communication skills that we learned in things that are simple like hand jobs can help us when things get more complex or more unfamiliar if you're venturing into kink or you're disclosing trauma, or you're, you know, trying to deepen intimacy in some way. It's really cool to take these skills and extrapolate them into other situations where we can benefit from more communication. Thank you so much, and so what have I got coming up next? If you're not doing anything on Halloween, I'm gonna be having a costume party online and a role play. So if you're interested in role play or dirty talk, come out to that. And then I have rough sex next week. So if you're into rough sex, if you're into rougher things, I'm gonna be teaching folks how to have rough sex safely. And I'm actually, I'm gonna stop the webinar, but you guys hang out for a second. Okay, so when I talk about this cock massage and we're gonna get into the techniques now. So I want to introduce cock massage, and then I'll tell you the techniques that you can do to kind of build into it. So when I describe a cock massage, it's more about- It's for sure slowing things down. It's not putting the focus on orgasm. So I'm not giving you a cock massage in the same way that like, like I'm just like jerking it until, you know, it just like, we're just trying to build you towards orgasm. A cock massage is actually about creating pleasure. It's about creating stimulation. It's about creating buildup. And so this can happen on a penis that's soft, a penis that's semi erect, a penis that's super erect, because the techniques that we're gonna use are actually gonna help them deepen into the sensations that we're giving. And so we don't have to kind of- You don't have to go do, like, I dunno, those wrist exercise things, those like muscle things to like build up your wrist stamina to do a cock massage. But cock massages are really something that can be a fun date. So you could set out a date where you're like, "Babe, like tonight, I'm gonna give you, you know, a full body massage. And then I'm gonna give you a cock massage, and like that's how we're gonna finish." And then maybe the next time you're gonna get your genitals attended to. And so you take turns being the center of pleasure and being able to sink into receiving, and you get to sink into giving without worrying that it has to go in a direction that it has always has gone before. And so we're just saying let's just play. Like what would happen if we just didn't do the thing we always do? And I get to focus on like, seeing how much I can extend the pleasure from this hand job? So cock massages are slower. There's no rush to finish, there's a buildup in pleasure. And you get to put your whole sexy self into this cock massage, because you are now the great purveyor of hand job skills that is going to make this massage actually help them have arousal in their whole body. And so when we focus on one area and we don't make it about orgasm, that pleasure and that arousal starts to expand into the rest of our bodies and help arouse under-serviced erogenous zone. So massages with some of the techniques that we'll look at, they can actually be combined with things like making out or neck kissing. Who likes neck kisses? I feel like- Okay, good. Okay. I feel like you're dead on the inside if you don't like neck kisses. So if you're like neck kissing someone- Okay, or tickling, I'm sorry, I'm judging. If you're like, if you're kissing someone's neck and you're giving a slow cock massage, and it's not about like just getting it real quick, but you're like actually, what does your hand feel like on their penis? You know, what does it feel like for you to make this slow movement down things? And for some of us, it's gonna feel awkward as fuck. We're gonna be like, "What are we doing here?" But that awkwardness actually creates a little bit of tension and tease, because it helps keep you in the moment. If you're feeling awkward because your hand is like, you're like, "Well, what do I do next? I'm not sure." That sometimes can, if you sink into the sensation versus like thinking about what am I gonna do next? It becomes more about you playing. It becomes more about you exploring and less about kind of like do this thing, then do this thing. Think about if you were to have a piece of clay and you didn't have any idea what you were gonna make, you know, and you were just kind of like massaging it around and it feels really good in your fingers, and you're like, oh, that part's softer, I like touching the harder parts, and oh, it's kind of cool to roll it like this. That sensation for our hands actually can make us feel really, really sexy. We have so many nerve endings on our fingertips, and so engaging those in pleasure versus just making them in service of someone else's pleasure actually creates more pleasure for both of you automatically. I'm sure this is a past the scope of the class, but yes, men or people with penises are pretty closed off to anything other than heteronormative version of sex. A lot of them fear internalized homophobia. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. There's like- That's a very shared and common experience and it's still a very pervasive experience where, you know, if any of you are on any kind of dating app, you know, if you were to ever bring up anal, automatically it's assumed that the person with the vulva is gonna be the anal receiver. And so I love being on Tinder and someone brings up anal and I'm like, "Oh my God, yeah, I love anal." And they'll say, "Yeah, me too. I love to like, stick it in hard." And I'm like, "Oh my God, me too. I love to pound it in hard." (laughs) And they're like, "Wait, what?" So we can't make assumptions around who likes what or what kind of person. This is also important for us when we're thinking about like dick diversity. And so small dicks aren't better than or worse than big dicks. Big dicks are not better or worse than like- They all have the same pleasure capacity. And if you have a preference for things, that that's up to you, but when we're talking about the actual pleasure potential, all of the techniques I'm gonna show you tonight, you can do on any penis. And most penises that we're seeing in porn or that are referenced in the media, they're not actually- Like most people's penises are not this size. This is probably a big average sized penis, right? An erect penis. So we have a lot of kind of mistaken identities around dicks, and you know, "Like, yeah, then I'm gonna stroke it like this." Nobody's penis is like this. Nobody's penis is the size of my head, right? My partner has had several prostate biopsies. Anal brings up thoughts of pain and stress. Yeah, people are not into anal for- Even if they don't have internalized homophobia. they may just not like anal, and that's totally okay. It's when we're closing ourselves off from anal because of shame, and because we think it says something about who we are or what kind of person, you know, we like to date or that kind of stuff. But even people with vulvas, some people like anal, some people don't. Alrighty. Okay, let's get into- Let's do some techniques. Are you ready for techniques? Yeah? Okay, you got whatever phallic thing you're gonna over there. Let me see all your ph- Good, okay, I see some phallic objects. All right, yes, okay, good. (laughs) Amazing, amazing. You're all so cute. Banana, okay, good. (laughs) Amazing, all right. So what are the techniques? Oh, let me actually talk about lube and then- So hold on to your phallic object. Just because lube is really important. So when we think about lube, a lot of us have had experience with lube that feels kind of goopy and tacky and thick, and it's actually more like the consistency of a lube that you would get at the gyno or any type of internal exam. That lube is not sex lube, you know? And so most of the things you're able to buy in drug stores are unfortunately not that great. They're gonna be filled with additives that are not good for vulvas, and they're gonna be kind of a thicker, lesser quality type of lube. So there's, you know, now we have like lots of options. Someone's mentioning KY and when KY was all we had, right? But like now we've got really good lubes. So for hand jobs, we actually want lubes that are longer lasting. And so hand jobs, because we're not so much worried about, you know, kind of contact with other parts of the body, so if you're avoiding things like pregnancy or STI's, I mean, hand jobs are a pretty low risk activity. And so we can use lubes that don't necessarily need to be compatible with things like condoms. So normally if you're using an oil-based lube and then you want to use a condom afterwards, oil actually reduces the effectiveness of latex. So if you're using latex-based condoms, they're not compatible with oil-based lubes. So just keep that in mind. Some people will have lubes that are water-based. And so some people like water-based lubes because they kind of, they feel very close to vaginal fluids, to the consistency of like semen. And so the ejaculate texture feels great. It doesn't feel like you're like gooping, you know, jelly into your partner or onto your partner's body. So if you like water-based lubes, I usually recommend Sliquid lube. I don't know if you can see it really well, but I will put these in your notes, so don't worry about having to write them down. So you can see, like it's not goopy, right? It's very, very silky. And it's not very- It's not super tacky. Like you're not getting this viscous kind of consistency. So water-based lubes are fine for hand jobs, but they do dry up quicker. If you're like pre-cum or spit is enough. Pre-cum and spit are cute. They are not lube. Because what happens is pre-cum, spit, and then water-based lube, like that's sort of the order within which that they're gonna dry up the quickest. Spit is gonna dry up the quickest, then pre-cum and some people don't produce enough pre-cum to actually be useful. But the other thing is is that this creates, like this silky texture, you can't get that with pre-cum and spit, right? So we want a silky texture because it actually affects the effectiveness and the pleasure of your technique. So you can be doing this move, add lube to it, it is like a whole new thing. So water-based lube is fine if you have water-based lube at home. If you don't have lube at home already, and you're looking- Oh, and I'm gonna moisturize with it. It's also a good moisturizer. If you don't have lube at home already, I would recommend getting a silicone-based lube for hand jobs. So silicone-based lubes, you can't use them on silicone toys, but I mean, we're talking about actual fleshy penises here, so you can use them on penises. They are also very, you can kinda see, like very silky. They're even silkier than water-based lubes. And so no like viscousness at all, right? Like no tackiness. What's great about them is that they don't absorb into the skin as quickly as water-based lube. So they last a really long time. So if you're doing a cock massage and you want to keep it slippery and warm, lubes are also a conductor for heat. And so they help kind of make your hands feel even warmer on a penis. So if someone is uncircumcised, you can put a little bit of lube like I did with my- I'll show you the other side, this looks so painful. Is you can put a little bit of lube inside, like a few drops into their foreskin. So just putting a little bit in there and then sort of like massaging it around so that it makes its way down. So that will combine with their natural lubrication but give you a longer lasting texture. So lube is life in summary. And when you're looking for things like silicone lubes, some people don't like it because they've had experiences where it stains their sheets or it like lasts too long. Keep a towel next to you or put a towel under them. But Uberlube, I use Uberlube, and one of their product claims is that it doesn't stain sheets. It's a silicone lube that doesn't stain sheets. So that's also a super good option for you to just kind of keep like and have it there. And you can make a whole show of like, putting on the lube, right? You're like get down to their penis and you're like, "Oh, I guess we're ready." Right? And then like massage it all around. I have to wipe off some of this lube now. Oh, more moisturizer. (laughs) All right. So how do we feel about exploring a bit with lube? Is that something we're gonna get into? Okay, cool, cool. All right. You can do hand jobs without lube, but like, why create that friction? Like, think about when someone's touching your clitoris it's not wet or lubey. It feels just like dryness, right? Good, I'm glad, yeah. Definitely go for it, because even if you forget any of the techniques and you're like, "Shit, what'd Luna say?" Say just use lube. It'll just like up your game. Okay. So when we're starting with- We're gonna start with one technique, which is called the twister. I'm actually gonna lower my screen and just keep talking to you so that you can see my hands. Okay. So the twister technique, you can do it with one hand, or you can do it with two hands, but it's allowing the shaft to get a lot of stimulation from sort of the strength and the texture of your hands and your knuckles. And so the twister, the two handed twister is you're just making half circles. And so you can start with half circles. You can also do the twister and kind of go down. And so you may go towards the body. You can do the twister and go up. So it's half circle up, half circle up. Or half circle down, half circle down. And remember your hands are gonna be like all slippery and lovely. If this is confusing for you, hold on to the base of the penis, because remember there's all this like stem of the penis that's still in there. So your hands can create a little bit of a cock ring and trap some of the blood a little bit harder in the penis and just take one hand and do the twister. That's totally acceptable. Now the key part of the twister is that whenever you're twisting either up or down towards the frenulum, you're gonna put a little bit extra pressure, or you're gonna put emphasis on this area. So emphasis might be, you know, you're twisting up. and when you get here, you put a little bit of a squeeze, or you make a little bit of an exaggeration motion, so that you're stimulating this area. So you just want to think about like, "Okay, I'm coming up, and then maybe I'm gonna slow a little bit here before I move my hand off." And so twisting can just be- One of the variations I'm gonna mention for all of these is that you can play with speed. So you can twist a little bit faster, or you can twist slower. You can twist like super exaggerated slow. I love doing slow moves to start. But then also once you have a responsive penis or a responsive partner, slow moves are a good way to kind of pause everything and then ramp pleasure back up. So instead of going like pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, we're going pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, and then kind of like leveling off and then pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. So you actually get a deeper level of pleasure. How do we feel about the twister? You like the twister? Yeah? Okay. I'm gonna put some lube, that looks so yummy. Okay, so this one is gonna be- This is my cutest and most favorite one. So this is also how you can put on lube with the twister, right? Like pour it on the top and then kind of move your hand down. So the twister doesn't really go over the head. I'm gonna show you one after that, that goes over the head. This one's called the bouncing octopus. So your hand is gonna be a cute little octopus and you're gonna hold on to either the base of the penis or the shaft of the penis, depending on what your partner's size is. My hands are super huge, so I like to hold on to the base of the penis. And you're gonna take the tips, kind of the pads of your fingers, you're starting at the head and you're moving down until it hits the back of your hand. And so it's a motion where you're moving down, your fingers are grazing the most sensitive parts of the penis. It's moving down to the shaft and it's hitting against the back of your hand. One of the key things about this motion is that when you're moving down, it's not a passive feathery moving down, this is an intentional pushing and pulling back up. So you're using your fingers or your tentacles as ways to kind of increase pressure and pleasure on all of the hotspots as you're going up and down. And so this can also be something that you increase with speed. This can be something you can add a little bit of a twist to. You can put your other hand and do something else while you're doing this. But this one is really nice, because the back of the hand feels like it's hitting the back of a vagina or a part of an anus, and so it just would like move- It gives it a little bit of a feeling of being encapsulated. So you're kind of like trapping this. With this change- Oh, if I had a penis, this move would look amazing. Yes. I know. I know, right? Would it change with an uncircumcised penis or no, because of the lighter touch? Oh, I'm gonna show you the octopus on- I'm gonna show you the octopus and the twister on the uncircumcised penis for sure, yes. Yeah, it does. It looks really good, right? So imagine if your partner, you know, your partner is like looking at you like this. This is the view you're getting, and you're just doing this like sexy octopus, and notice your fingers. Like, "Did you do your nails for this hand job?" You know, "Like did you like cut your nails?" Like look at your sexiness and like the movement, like connect to all of that. So I'm gonna show you two techniques at a time, and I'll take a break and then show you on uncircumcised penis, or show you on both of the models. So for uncircumcised penises, for the twister, if your person, if their foreskin is still sort of up, and if it hasn't retracted, or if you want to use the foreskin, the twister works the same way. And so the foreskin gets to be part of the kind of texture creation, of the motion of what's going on. You can also use your one hand to hold and retract to where it's comfortable for them to hold the foreskin and retract it, and then use this hand for the bouncing octopus, or for the twister, right? So we've got sort of a twist octopus or for the twister. And so we're still massaging the most sensitive parts of the penis on the uncircumcised penis, but we get to use the head as like an extra kind of texture. And I'm actually gonna talk with you about a sex toy that kind of feels like a foreskin. And so for circumcised penises, we can also give a similar sensation that that foreskin would have. I'm gonna show this one on uncircumcised penises first. So this is called scissor fingers. And I want to mention, I'm gonna show this on, on if someone has a smaller but erect or non-erect penis, it actually doesn't matter. So scissor fingers are about kind of using the crevice between two fingers to create a sensation. So this is super fun because it's gonna be a wet and lubey. And so you're gonna lube up your hands and your scissor fingers are going up and down, but then these two knuckles are also kind of either in the front of the penis, or they're just around the side of the penis. So you're tucking two fingers in and you're using the other two. Your thumbs are also free. So I'm gonna turn it and maybe I'll do it this way. Well, I can't because it's backwards. Okay, but my thumbs are also free to do things too. So if you're a scissor fingering and you want your thumbs to do something at the same time. So I could be and then using my thumbs to massage the frenulum, right? And so it's a motion that allows you to kind of give more concentrated pleasure, whereas this one is more encompassing, and this one feels more encompassing. It's actually good to mix up an encompassing one and a directed pleasure one, because every time you start to rise up the stimulation in the shaft, and then you take a little bit of a break for it and you're giving it less attention, less touch, less stimulation, it starts to get excited, it starts to crave more. So think about when, you know, if you were to have your hand right now, and if you were to lick your hand and then wait a few seconds and then exhale onto your hand, you're gonna feel a sensation, because you've changed the temperature of your hand by licking it and then blowing your hot breath on it. So it's the same thing with texture and pressure. We're giving pressure, pressure, pressure, lots and lots of touch, and then we're still giving stimulation, but it's a little bit less. Okay, so scissor fingers on a cut penis would look very similar. And so again, my thumbs are here, they're doing some fun things. And then my fingers are doing most of the work. So that one can also be a really sexy move if they are standing up and you're giving them sort of a towards your face, because it's like you're drawing their penis, you're jerking it or stroking it towards your face or towards your body. So there's sort of a visual kind of hotness to this. Oh, Krima oh, no problem. Have a sweet night, thank you for joining us. Your new partner is quite rough with himself when self-pleasuring, but I'm scared to be rough, any advice, please? Yes, for sure. And when a partner orgasms, unsure when to stop touching them or keep going till the end of orgasm. Okay, yes. I will answer both of those for sure. I'm gonna continue with the techniques, and you will have those in the replay, so you will get those answers, I promise. With our next kind of move. So we've got 10 moves to go through, so I gotta get you all these 10 moves. The next one is anchor and stroke. And so anchor and stroke is about- So if anyone struggles with like kind of hand coordination, this one's pretty good. So what it means is you're gonna create an anchor with one hand, similar to the twister. You're holding onto the base. And then the other hand is gonna create sort of an upward type of motion. So you're bringing the stroking upwards, and this can go over the head. So you're actually sort of- I'm gonna take off this one. So it looks you're grabbing it. You're pulling, you're sort of massaging. I'm putting emphasis around underneath the head and I'm coming all the way over the head. And so the anchor means your hand's creating a little bit of a cock ring again, and trapping more blood flow in here, which means there's gonna be more sensation. There's gonna be even more sensitivity. And this hand is kind of using it to sort of milk. So you can use it, you can stroke in this direction, or if your partner- So I'm gonna stick this kind of to my chest. So if this was my biologically attached penis, and you've watched me masturbate, and this is how I masturbate, right? Then when you're doing the anchor and stroke, you're gonna try and mimic the same kind of cupping. If I this way, cool. If I'm masturbating towards my own body, then you're gonna try and manipulate your stroke in the direction that they are normally enjoying. All right. Likewise, for uncircumcised penises, the anchor might also mean that your anchor is holding onto the foreskin. And so depending on someone's anatomy and how much it retracts and what's comfortable for them, the stroke could include just a portion of the exposed penis, or it could be the entire penis, and you're holding the foreskin back completely. And so the anchor and stroke, the only difference for uncircumcised penises is that you have options. You can either have it using the foreskin. So you can anchor- People's foreskins don't fold back like this, just FYI. This is just my dildo. This is why I ripped it last time, because it doesn't retract easily. All right. So (laughs) If you're holding onto their penis and let's say they aren't fully erect yet, or the foreskin hasn't retracted, you can actually use the foreskin. So you're gonna hang on- I know, poor rippy, I know. You're gonna hang onto the base of the penis, and then you're gonna do a little bit of stroking. So if you're stroking your bananas or you're stroking your water bottles, you want to see like, are you- 'Cause there's a difference between like, touching, right? And feeling something. So are you feeling this stroke? What does it feel like if you squeeze harder? What does it feel like if you go downwards? What does it feel like if you go slower? What does it feel like if you look at your hand versus not looking at your hand? So these are all ways for you to get your own kind of sexiness in there. This one I call the cuddle fist. So the cuddle fist is- The cuddle fist is a technique that's focused on the heads of the penis. And so basically you're making a fist and your hands are gonna be all lubed up. I'm gonna add more lube to my hands. And the cuddle fist is your wrapping sort of- Your focus is around from the base and underneath the head. And so that would be the base and underneath the head here. And then what we're doing is we're trying to create almost a suction with our fist. And so the move, it sort of looks like- It sort of looks like a stroke, but if I slow it down, it's a closing around, a grasping, and then sort of a pulling up. So your hand doesn't ever really leave, right? So it's sort of like, we're still giving pressure, even if you're doing it this way, if you're doing it pulling towards you, if you're going down on the cuddle fist, but this one is really effective in this type of motion. So wrapping your hand around one part of the shaft. And actually I'm gonna do it on a smaller penis so that it actually makes more sense. So this hand would be around one part of the shaft, and then this hand would sort of be moving it up. So this one can go really, really, really quickly, and can get someone super hard really quick, and they may feel that that's a little bit overstimulating, but then you can slow it down, and your hand is never really coming away. And so it's always having contact with the base of your hand. How does that one feel? How do you like the cuddle fist? Sounded like I was gonna punch it, but- (laughs) I do like punching dicks too. (laughs) Okay. Let's do- This one's called- So the cuddle fist, sorry. The cuddle fist also works the exact same way on a penis that is uncircumcised, and so you're either pulling the foreskin back as is comfortable, and then we're still keeping our hand attached to it. This one, actually I found, you know, you can use it when the penis is also not super erect. So if it's not super erect, I love this question around like how rough can you be with penises? So with penises that aren't erect, you can actually be a lot rougher. Like you can grab more, you can pull more, because the sensitivity isn't there yet. This is all just kind of like muscle, and when it's filled up with blood, that's where the sensitivity starts to increase. So you can try some of these techniques a little bit rougher on a penis that isn't erect, and it's not going to be painful in the same way if I came at, you know, this one like super rough. For people are who are really interested in rougher techniques, you can kind of start with a slower and then be like, "Babe, when you want me to go harder, I need you to tell me harder." Right? Or you can say, you can ask them, "Hey, like, you know, can I go harder? I kind of feel like going a little bit like rougher on you." And they will tell you when it doesn't feel good, because in the same way that if someone were to like, take teeth onto your unaroused clitoris, you're gonna tell them it's not gonna feel good. Right? Hopefully. Yes, looks looks more gentle than it sounds. Yeah, it does, it does. Looks good especially if your partner prefers focus on the head. For sure. Some people's heads are too sensitive, and they don't actually like a ton of focus. So for those people, you can- You don't really have to do cuddle fist, or you do it sort of slowly and gently. And it becomes more of like you're petting instead of like actually like dragging something. For folks that love it, you could go a little bit rougher, and remember rougher or more intense techniques with lube are less likely to cause kind of injury or pain, because the texture is mitigating the kind of muscle and the strength or the speed that you're putting into something. Okay, we have a couple more. So clasped fingers. So clasped fingers are- Let's do it on the small one again, 'cause I feel like this is unrealistic. But I'll show you it on the uncircumcised penis too. So clasped fingers are about taking the palms of your hands, so nice and lubed up. It's actually even sexy if like you warm them up or maybe you were like touching yourself first and your hands are all nice and warm, and you kind of like go over the penis and settle your palms around the shaft. And then you're gonna clasp your fingers. And so the head is gonna be popping out a little bit, or your thumbs, depending on the size of the person's penis and the size of your hands, your thumbs might be kind of nuzzling around the head of the penis, which is again, right, perfect for underneath the most sensitive parts of the penis. So the clasping, this is actually a technique of kind of encasing again, but this is a lot stronger than just having like two scissor fingers, right? So this is creating heat. This is creating pressure and this is creating this kind of consistent warmth that can make someone feel really, really excited. And so in this position, you're not making big strokes, right? I mean, if you have a giant 12 inch penis with you, maybe you're making like big strokes, but you know, with most penises, what we're doing is we're kind of like massaging without really going anywhere. And so this is a good one if you like spit, this is a good time to like spit on a penis and then kind of just like allow your fingers to massage around the head. This one, if you are- You can't do this one one-handed obviously, but let's say you're working with a penis that is smaller or is not as erect. You can still do it, right? So I'm still holding onto the penis, and instead of going up and down, maybe there's no room to do that. What I might do is go side to side. And so that side to side rolling along with the stimulation on the head can feel really, really yummy for someone. All right, so you've had twister, you had bouncing octopus, you had scissor fingers, anchor and stroke, cuddle fist, clasped fingers. And for clasped fingers on uncircumcised penises, it's actually very similar to the benefits of, of stroking, of the anchor and stroke, where we can use the foreskin. And so the foreskin actually becomes a part of the clasp. If you want to do the clasp or they want to do the clasp with their foreskin retracted, you can ask them to hold their foreskin, and then you're gonna clasp and you're gonna use the exposed part of the penis to give pleasure to. Alrighty. Oh, this poor foreskin. God, they need a version two of this dick. (laughs) Okay, well, we're done with these demos for now. We'll let it lube up over there. Maybe it just needs some time. When we're looking at one other technique that you can kind of mix in, whether it's on a uncircumcised penis or a circumcised penis, is you can kind of use your thumbs when you're in a position where you're holding or you're grasping. Or if you're grasping even with one hand, like your thumb is a different texture. So think about if you were to like suck on your thumb or a finger and then just like drag it slowly and around the penis while holding the shaft with your hand. That's a really good warmup move and it's hot as fuck, because you get to, you know, kind of like do a little bit of like a visual like "Mmm, yes, and this is like what we're gonna do tonight, right? Or like, "Mmm, I was just want to get my spit all over your penis." So that can be a way to sort of feel like that you are owning it, right? Like you're entering this intentionally. I like to use the thumbs as a little ritual. Like it's for me to be like, "Yeah, like I want to do this. Like, I'm gonna make this dick like, feel so amazing." And it allows you to kind of like find your thing to center on in all of this, in all of this hand pleasure. So I've got a couple more for you. So think about using your body in your hand jobs. And so if you- If you like, if you're a person is lying down and you want to straddle their thigh, or you want to straddle their shin, whatever's comfortable for them, and let them feel the warmth of your genitals, the warmth of between your legs on their body while you're giving them a hand job, you can also use your chest. So it doesn't actually matter what size of chest you have, but you can alternate between like having your hands and then putting your chest, resting it on their body, and kind of just like moving it over their lubed up penis. And so that looks visually delicious. If for you, if you have sensitive nipples, that's also a great way to kind of like rub your nipples on something and gyrate a little bit and get attention for yourself. So using other parts of your body can be really sexy. And someone mentioned, you know, kind of like integrating pleasure for the other parts of the body into hand jobs. Like when we learn a new skill, and this is everyone's challenge, we hyper focus on the area that we've learned the new skill about. And so this person has no other thing except for their penis. They have no other thing except for their anus. They have no other for whatever area that we're focusing on. So one thing to remember, and a way to get engaged in the rest of their body, is that when you're starting the hand job, like you've decided, they've decided it's hand job time, you're gonna make your way down to the hand job so painfully slow, right? And so that doesn't mean that you can only be sensual. Slow has nothing to do with- You can be slow and rough. You can be slow and powerful. You can be slow and submissive. You can be slow and sensual. You can be slow and sassy. You can be slow and sweet. Slowness is about creating tease for them. And when you create tease for them, they don't know exactly when you're gonna get to their hand job, and so you'll notice if you're starting to touch other parts of their body, they're already gonna start to get either erect or their breath is gonna change, or they're gonna get kind of excited, because you're allowing them an opportunity to be really present in their body because they don't know what's next. And so when you finally get down to the hand job, remember they've got inner thighs, right? Inner thighs are so sensitive. So you could drag your hands down their stomach, their, you know, lower belly around their penis, but then out their inner thighs, use your fingernails if they like that. You can kiss those areas. I love putting my face next to a penis, but I'm not gonna put it in my mouth, I'm gonna do something else. So giving that like tease, so it's like you go in and then, oh, you're like, "Oh, but look, I discovered your thighs." And then you're like, "Oh, your dick again." And then you come back to the dick. And so it gets to feel like you're creating a rhythm. It gets to feel like- Oh, it's starting to thunderstorm. I'm just gonna close my window. (laughs) And so it gets to feel like you're creating some sort of consistency in the seduction of it. And remember, this doesn't have to be like- You don't have to be like hand job heroes like every single time. Like once you start to wield that slowness and that sensation-based approach to their body, it actually just becomes something that makes you feel really sexy. You're like, "Mmm, I'm turning on my hand job hero power. I know what's coming next, right?" And when you're focused on their penis with your hands, and you're doing all these kinds of things, what you can do is when you want to pull away from that intensity of pleasure, is do a simple stroke that you're able to do, so do the bouncing octopus, take the other hand and then you can either do a perineum stroke or you can hold a vibrator against their perineum, or take the other hand and like move it up their body, just drag it all the way up their body. And all I'm doing is like massaging the head. So you could do even, you could do the cuddle fist. Oh, it's stuck to the table. You could do the cuddle fist while you're moving like this hand all the way up their body. How many of you like eye contact? Who's into eye contact? I feel like eye contact is one of the sexiest things that- Yeah, I love like- It's like eye fucking, you know? It can make you feel super shy, super awkward, but because it's so intense, right? It's so intense to be seen and to see someone. And so you could play with eye contact. That's another way to connect the rest of the body. And so you could be focusing on the penis, and then maybe you just kind of like look up a little bit, make eye contact, and then like go back down to like whatever you're doing. If you don't want to be looked at while you're trying out like the bouncing octopus or whatever, give your partner a blindfold, if they're comfortable being blindfolded. That way you don't have to be watched while you're like, "Okay, Luna said the bouncing octopus. Okay, I'm gonna try the octopus." You know? And so you can actually approach it in a way that it's about like, we're focusing on this sensation tonight. So I want to take away this sense to heighten the rest of your other senses. Okay. So that was using the rest of your body. And then I've got three more for you, but I'm just gonna check out your questions here. Looks good, especially if your partner- Okay, sorry, I read that one. Erectile tissue beyond the penis in the body. Are these also utilizing that? Yeah, so anytime that you're grasping the base of the penis, that's gonna give some stimulation into the boomerang part of the penis that's inside the body. It depends on the position, but if you're pressing against that, so if you're grasping sort of behind the balls at the base of the penis, and you're using this part of your hand to like press against the body, sometimes it presses onto their bladder, and so it can feel like they have to pee. So we want just the pressure to be in our fingers and less on against the side of their body, like pressing against their body. Alrighty. All right. Partners is, and I'm too shy. I take off my glasses during sex. That's so good, that's so good. Then you're like, "Huh, don't know what's happening. Don't know if it's hot or not, but it feels good." Because a lot of sex we've been told is like so performative. And we focus on like, "Oh, like I should look and sound a certain way in sex." When most of us actually sound a lot more guttural and primal during sex. We don't sound like uh, uh, that's porn. That's intended for us to have a particular emotion and reaction to that sound. It's sensationalized in produced porn. So for us, sometimes it's hard to get out of that, because we haven't seen real people have real sex, right? Like we're still all just kind of clumsily trying to you know, mimic those kinds of possibilities, right? Okay. And Krima, I want to answer your questions. So this is a question that might be relevant for lots of you too. So this idea of being rough and not knowing if it's okay to be rough. I think this is an opportunity to also talk about, you know, or to engage in communication. And so using that simple kind of like, "Wwell, should I like turn this up a notch? Is this good? Or do you need it like good?" And getting them to even put their hand on top of your hand and show you like how rough they like it. Remember too, that the way that they touch their bodies is not necessarily going to be the exact same recreation. We're just looking for like, hints about what direction to go. We're not looking to create their same, you know, calloused hands that they've known like since they were like five and like become their fists. Like we're actually giving them a different kind of pleasure. Then that's why, you know, it's really important for, you know, for us to maintain these sexual relationships to ourself and then have partnered sex as well. When a partner orgasms, unsure whether to stop touching them. So this one, I really- This is a really good question. So this also depends on the person. So some people like to keep the stroke going after orgasm, but slower and not on the head. And so the head becomes too sensitive after orgasm for most people. Excuse me. Especially for penises that are uncircumcised, like the head is gonna be too sensitive. So what you're doing is, let's say you're doing this, and this like makes them orgasm and your hand's like all full of jizz, what you can do is just start to like slowly stroke around here. Right? And so you're just gonna slowly stroke the shaft in sort of a gentle, not a lot of pressure and just avoid the most sensitive areas. Because it is abrupt if you're like, they come and then you're like, "Whoa!" And you just like dive out of the way and like abandon their dick. So we want to stay with the pleasure, but we don't want to add extra sensation to super sensitive areas. Okay. Definitely more primal sounds for you. Yes, me too. My partner is older and has a softer erection, so hand jobs and re-introducing him to sex, pleasure for just him, I'm into this to bring him back into pleasure. Yeah, that's awesome. That's why I like cock massages. I had a partner where I would give him a full body massage and then I would give him a cock massage, and the combination of arousing all of these other parts of his body that get ignored, so thighs and knees and shoulders and chest and backs all have a lot of nerve endings, and getting someone into that relaxed state and then giving them a cock massage for like 10 or 15 minutes or whatever's comfortable, that sometimes can contribute to full body orgasms, where they feel the orgasm in their penis, but they feel a sensation like that is orgasmic in the rest of their body. So if you are dealing with someone that has softer erections or has kind of fickle erections, that's totally fine. Hand jobs are a great place to have that, because a penis does not need to get erect for a hand job. And it is not a sign of a successful hand job that it's erect. It is you're here to kind of give this pleasure in a way that feels good for both of you. Yes, that's also a misconception that you're just trying to mimic their hand. Yeah, and I think some of us have had experiences where it feels like they're just trying to tell us how to mas- I definitely have. I've had experiences where I'm like, "Huh, so I'm just here to like, do you the way you do you, and like, this is not fun for me." Sometimes it was fun in that there were other things that made it fun, but if it sort of isolated into like, "Oh yeah, like I love jerking off. I just want you to jerk me off." You know, it depends how you feel about it. If that's sexy for you, if it feels spontaneous, if it feels giving, you feel of service, you feel like playful, do it. That's totally fine. But that shouldn't be the default narrative around hand jobs. We're not sort of just replacing their hand. We're giving a lot more intimacy and creativity into that. Okay, so I've got three more techniques for you. And so this one is a hand to mouth one. And so if your partner does like BJs, this is actually really good if your partner likes deep throating and you don't like deep throating, because porn has basically told us that deep throating is like the epitome of blow jobs, and it is not. So I just explained to you penis anatomy, right? Where is the most sensitive part of the penis? Not here. So a lot of times deep throating is around like the visual of it. It could also be around the feeling of like, kind of that encasement. And so your warm mouth, your warm throat, sort of captured around the penis. But hand jobs, hand job, hand mouth combos are a great way to kind of mimic that. And so now we know where to grasp the penis. So we're grasping on this model, I mean, I'm grasping- You can grasp behind the balls. You can grasp like around the balls. My circumcised penis doesn't have balls, but we're grasping at the base. And you can either hold onto the base and do things with your mouth and this hand where your mouth and your hand are actually a continuation of each other, so they become like a tunnel. And so your hand is going down and then your mouth is going down with it, right? And so I'm not gonna do that, 'cause I have to talk, but your mouth would go down and follow your hand. You can also create even more sensation by holding on, like covering the shaft with one hand and then using your sort of like the cuddle fist, right? So we're gonna cuddle around it and then bringing it down and again, like using your mouth. And so your hand is mainly focused on this area. You're keeping this one still, and we're just going down and kind of moving with it. Hand jobs are also fun if you're kind of doing it up this way, you can take a break. So for those of you that struggle with pacing and with like figuring out like what to do next, you're gonna do a technique long enough that you can get a rhythm and a buildup to see if it's even doing anything. And so there's no pressure. Like I wouldn't be sitting here counting, being like, "Okay, I've done this for 15 strokes. Doesn't seem to be working. Should move on." You're gonna do it for a little bit and be like, "Babe, do you like that?" And if they're like, "Oh yeah, it feels so good." Or if they're kind of like, "Mmm," and you've learned their pleasure responses. You can also decide like, 'Okay, I'm gonna switch to something else." And then if this was working better, then go back to this. Right? And so take the pressure off of yourself to be the kind of producer of the hand job. You are here to offer a hand job. You are here to offer pleasure. You're here to offer intimacy, playfulness, relaxation, connection. And so that can be the, the mixing up of the hand and the mouth, that can be a good way to have pacing as well. So you can be stroking for a bit, and then maybe I spit on it and I'm like licking around the head. Now it's all like wet again. Maybe I used flavored lube and I'm eating like a caramel latte dick. And then we're gonna like move the hand with the spit or with the lube and move it down. And so you get to kind of alternate between hand and mouth. That also helps folks that are not so crazy about blow jobs or their jaw gets tired, or they just find it overwhelming to try and do more coordinated moves. So you can do them in alternate. So do this for a bit and then maybe like lick, make it nice and wet and then do something again. Any of the lubes that I showed you are safe to ingest and they're tasteless. So they don't actually taste like anything. They're not gonna taste chemical. Or like, if you were to put some sort of medical lube in your mouth. How do we feel about hand and mouth? Do we like hand and mouth combos? I feel like they're fun. Like they help me pace a little bit, because I tend to rush through things. I'm like bouncing octopus, okay, cuddle fist. And so I like mixing doing one thing and then like doing something with my mouth and then doing something again. I find that that's pretty helpful. All right. The other two that I'm gonna talk about actually have to do with butts and prostates and then positions. But I want to mention for all of these eight that we've talked about. So you have eight techniques, but you actually have like way more than that, because any of those techniques, you can mix up with speed, with pressure, with rhythm and with direction. So all of them have these like infinite kind of combinations. You can also play with things like temperature. So if you were doing a hand/mouth combo, and you spit on the dick and you started stroking a little bit, and then you (exhales) onto it, that's gonna give it a completely different sensation. You can play with ice cubes. You can play with cooling lubes. You can play with warming lubes. I would stay away from weed lubes if you're doing hand jobs, because some weed lubes- If your partner is hypersensitive, if they, you know, two strokes and like, they've come, weed lubes are good because for penises, they actually relax the muscle. And so if someone struggles with erections already or getting hard, weed lubes are not a good idea to use on their penis. But you can use them if someone is a little bit too sensitive. You can also do that by adding a condom. That will decrease some of the sensitivity. Okay, I don't really understand what cock massage is. So it's instead of stroking, we're massaging the penis. So those techniques are more focused on massage and less focused on like milking an orgasm out of someone. So it's a change both in the technique and in the intention behind it, and so what you're trying to do. What lubes are good, more natural if you're moving from hand job to blow job? Some tastes very chemical. Caramel lube got- Yes. So Wicked, Wicked is a brand of lubes that it's safe for vulvas because- It's a safe flavored lube for vulvas. So if you want to sit on that penis afterwards, don't put anything on it that, unless you're gonna use a condom on it after, don't put anything on it that might also transfer into your body, and if you're already prone to UTIs or yeast infections, flavored lubes that have sugar or glycerin, usually it's written as glycerin in it, are not gonna be good for your body. So Wicked is actually flavored with Stevia, and so it's totally safe and they taste amazing. They don't taste like those cough syrupy kind of strawberry lubes. They taste like, I have a pink lemonade one. I ate a pink lemonade asshole, it was great. So you can use those types of lubes. You're gonna find those at sex positive sex shops. You're not gonna find them like on sort of bigger, more commercial sex brands. I have a code for you for a local feminist sex shop to save 15%. So I mean, lube is a good thing to just stock up on. I'm gonna include that in your notes for you. You liked hand/mouth. Okay, great. That's the only thing you can pace, amazing. Never thought of a direction like to the side and upward. Yeah, it's hard to get imaginative with it, because we've just seen this. Right? Like we haven't seen really anything else. Okay, so I just want to mention before we close up. Butts and prostate. So for some people, they really enjoy having the combo pleasure of a hand job and either external anal play or even a finger or a toy in their penis or in their anus. And so do you have to kind of gauge the level of comfort with your partner and have that discussion. Nobody should be touching anybody's butt until like permission and consent has been given. It's not fun to be kind of surprised. There's no such thing as surprise anal, basically. That's what our- lube is life, and there's no such thing as surprise anal. But if your partner is into butt stuff, I'm gonna show you two butt plugs that are really good to be inside. So you're looking for butt plugs that don't take up too much space inside of their body. So this is from Njoy and I'm gonna put these in your notes for you. So the Njoy butt plug, and this one is the B-Vibe butt plug. And what I like about B-Vibe is that it has a freakin' remote control. So you can put this in your partner's butt, give them the remote, and then you can focus on your hand job and they can control their butt pleasure, right? Or when they're jerking off, if they're doing a little show for you, you can hold on to the remote and control the pleasure in their butt. This also has a YouTube or an app, and so a Bluetooth app so you can connect with that as well. This one is great because it's curved in a way. So this is straighter. This is not necessarily gonna stimulate the prostate. But this is curved in a way that it would hit the prostate and provide that kind of firm pressure to it. So you could be rocking this in their penis while you're doing something, you know, with your hand, right? So you could do cuddle fist and like put this in their penis, in their anus. Why do I keep saying penis? Anus. It's 'cause it's not a butt stuff night. I'm just talking about dicks tonight. Okay. With position. So positions is another area where you can mix things up. Are there particular positions you like to give hand jobs in? Is this something- Do you like it when your partner's like lying down? Do you like it when they're standing up? Think about like, you could even come from behind and start to play with them and playing through their clothing or through their underwear is a good way to start a hand job, right? Because you're creating tease. And so maybe you're just grabbing, massaging, stroking, you know, playing with it. And then maybe you go away, and they're cooking dinner, and you're like, "Yeah, I'll see that later. You know, I'll see you in the cuddle fist later." And so thinking about like all the different ways that you can play with someone. A hand job can be given if they are on all fours. So that might be a position that they feel really sexy in and you can reach around them and or stroke between their legs and stroke their penis that way, and it's almost like you're milking a cow, but you now have techniques other than just this, right? Them standing up is also a fun one. Them sitting on a chair with their legs spread. You can also do hand jobs in a 69 position. So you could be sitting on their face, and for some people, this modified 69 is actually more fun than a regular 69, because they find it kind of intimidating or the height difference is like not good, and you just can't be on each other. So if you're kind of leaning a little bit up, but a little bit forward, and then you've maybe got one hand to balance you, and then you've got your other hand. I had a partner where I could see when his toes were starting to like curl, and I was like, "Oh yeah, we're close, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna back off because I want this to last." (laughs) So you can start to notice parts of their body, or maybe they start to react in a certain way to giving you head while they're playing. If you need stimulation too, remember, you can put toys inside you, you can hold toys against yourself. You can be in a position where they're lying down and you're on all fours, and would have your butt close to their face, and then your hands are working them and their hands are free. So their hands can reach around and touch your nipples or your genitals or your anus and give you pleasure while you're giving them pleasure. So mix up those positions. It totally keeps it interesting versus like flop and you know, like here, it's hand job time. All right, never thought of direction. Like, oh, sorry, that one I already read. Always feel like he is lying down. I want to try it with him standing up. Yes, so if you want to try it with him standing up, start to give that flirtation. Start to leave those breadcrumbs of sexiness like when he is standing up. And so when he's standing up, you could even come behind him and start to touch him and say, "You know, I would love to stroke you while you're in this position, like while you're standing up and I get to kneel down and look up at you. I think that'd be so hot." And so when we create like sexual changes or prompts or breadcrumbs outside of our sexual experiences, sometimes it's less intimidating. It's a little bit easier to communicate with all of like the hormones and the hotness happening. So that can be a fun way to kind of mix things up. All right, so I'm gonna give you- How many- Oh, I already told you a lot of the pro tips. I have two pro tips left for you. One tip is called- How many of you have heard of the technique called edging? Have you heard of edging? So edging can be done on anybody's body. Yes, yes, yes. How do we feel about edging? Do we like edging? You've heard of it? Okay, I'm gonna explain it. Amazing, you're curious, cool. Love it, okay, all right. So I love giving edging. I don't like receiving it, because I'm an instant gratification person. And so edging is about using a technique or a rhythm that is continuous, and you're taking the person to close to orgasm, but when you get to that vibration, like sometimes the penis vein will vibrate or you know their certain mode or move or sound they're making, they're about to come, or they tell you, you know, I'm gonna come soon. Then what you want to do is you back off of that pleasure that is going to take them to orgasm. So backing off doesn't mean stroke, stroke, stroke, you're about to come, and you're like, "Oh, look at my nails. I haven't done my nails yet." It means that you're gonna stroke, stroke, stroke, I'm about to come, and I slow it down. And maybe I'm gonna move to a different part of the penis that isn't as sensitive. That might also mean that I take a complete break, but I exit by like just like dragging my fingers, dragging out. Maybe I look up and make eye contact. Maybe I come back in and then, "Oh, here we are again." So what this does is it actually deepens their perception and their experience of the sensations that you're giving, because we're bringing it to an almost boiling point, but then we're letting it simmer, right? So we're not taking it over the top. This is actually the point where some people with penises can train themselves to have multiple orgasms. So in both vulvas and penises, orgasm and ejaculation are separate events. In penises, they happen seconds apart, but they are separate events. So someone of the penis could potentially ejaculate or have an orgasm without ejaculating. And so they can retain erection. They can retain their hardness without losing the ability to orgasm or the opportunity to orgasm. So it's this point of right before orgasm, where we have to learn or they have to learn it, because the way that you give a multiple is that when they're about to come, they actually have to practice this on their own first, because it's such a specific point, and they have to learn to control that point between orgasm and ejaculation. And so it's about kind of squeezing. Ugh, this one's all dried up. So it's about squeezing just under the head, and during right before ejaculation, and so that squeeze is actually gonna pinch the urethra. And so the urethra is where urine and semen comes out of. And so pinching that allows the body to experience orgasm without ejaculating. So that's like next level, right? You can tell your partner about it and tell him to try practicing what that might be like if they're masturbating, and if they can kind of like pay attention to like, what does it feel like in that moment, you know, before orgasm? They'd have to sort of tune into it and then give you information about it. And my other favorite thing. I'm actually gonna be giving away some of these in my November newsletter. So if you're not on my newsletter list, get on there. I want to give you some cock sleeves. So these are called masturbation sleeves. So you can see how on the inside they're kind of textured. They've got like ridges. And then on the outside, mine's a little bit dirty, because they do pick up a lot of like hair and stuff. So what we do with these is we put some lube on the inside and we put them over the head of the penis. I'm gonna bring you back down. And so this becomes a sleeve, so that warm, wet lube and that like textured pattern on the inside, it actually becomes like a little jerk off sleeve. So it sounds horrible. I feel we could do like ASMR with this. (squishing) (laughs) But that's also because it's on a dildo, but like on skin and on flesh, this can feel super, super good. So this is very similar to- It's basically a smaller version of like fleshlights. So those masturbation cases that people with penises can use to jerk off into. It's supposed to simulate the inside of an orifice, so an anus or a vagina. And these are usually- You can use them a few uses. You just wash them out afterwards, but they're super fun. And you can also use them on penises that are uncircumcised. So you actually put it, you can put it over and use it so it gives that sensation, or you can retract the foreskin and then use it on just like even the top of the head, right? That's even gonna make it a super fun sensation. So they're fairly inexpensive. I'm giving away this brand, this like Tenga Egg. So they're called Tenga Eggs. I'll put these in your notes as well for you. All right. The last thing I want to show you- I lied, so last thing I want to show you is cock rings. So cock rings, if your person wants to maintain a harder or a longer erection, cock rings are super great for that. They're not to be worn for more than like 20 or 30 minutes. So they trap the erection that's already in the penis. They trap that pressurized blood there a little bit longer or a little bit harder. So for hand jobs, this might be fun. So putting it on there and having a harder or a more erect penis can allow you to do things that you might not get to do, or you want to move the penis to a different stage in order to do different things. Cock rings are also usually really inexpensive. And if you get one that has like a vibrator on it, cock rings can also be magically used on everybody's body. So they can be used for fingering too. So if you have a vagina, someone can finger you with a cock ring and the vibration of it is going to stimulate the outside of your vagina, potentially your clitoris too. All right, fun times, right? Toys for penises. A lot of toys for penises. I feel like penises don't get enough attention for all of their toys. All right, so thank you everyone for being here tonight, all you hand job- Did we decide we're hand-job heroes? Is that who we are? (laughs) Okay, good, good, I'm so glad. I'm so, so glad you had a good- Yes, HJH, yes. We need like outfits. I feel like we need outfits or at least capes. I don't know. If it's not too much to ask, give me a hand job cake. Cape and cake. Okay, you get a cake too. So in your notes, I'm gonna include the lubes I talked about, the toys I talked about, and the discount code, if you don't want to wait for me and you want to go explore on your own, it's at goodforher.com and you can use LUNA15, and that will get you 15% off your purchase, everything but workshops. I'm so glad you all had such a great time. I'm really, really glad. I'm glad that you showed up tonight. I'm glad that you showed up for yourself. I hope that you can get more pleasure out of giving and these communication skills that we learned in things that are simple like hand jobs can help us when things get more complex or more unfamiliar if you're venturing into kink or you're disclosing trauma, or you're, you know, trying to deepen intimacy in some way. It's really cool to take these skills and extrapolate them into other situations where we can benefit from more communication. Thank you so much, and so what have I got coming up next? If you're not doing anything on Halloween, I'm gonna be having a costume party online and a role play. So if you're interested in role play or dirty talk, come out to that. And then I have rough sex next week. So if you're into rough sex, if you're into rougher things, I'm gonna be teaching folks how to have rough sex safely. And I'm actually, I'm gonna stop the webinar, but you guys hang out for a second. So when we think about lube, a lot of us have had experience with lube that feels kind of goopy and tacky and thick, and it's actually more like the consistency of a lube that you would get at the gyno or any type of internal exam. That lube is not sex lube, you know? And so most of the things you're able to buy in drug stores are unfortunately not that great. They're gonna be filled with additives that are not good for vulvas, and they're gonna be kind of a thicker, lesser quality type of lube. So there's, you know, now we have like lots of options. Someone's mentioning KY and when KY was all we had, right? But like now we've got really good lubes. So for hand jobs, we actually want lubes that are longer lasting. And so hand jobs, because we're not so much worried about, you know, kind of contact with other parts of the body, so if you're avoiding things like pregnancy or STI's, I mean, hand jobs are a pretty low risk activity. And so we can use lubes that don't necessarily need to be compatible with things like condoms. So normally if you're using an oil-based lube and then you want to use a condom afterwards, oil actually reduces the effectiveness of latex. So if you're using latex-based condoms, they're not compatible with oil-based lubes. So just keep that in mind. Some people will have lubes that are water-based. And so some people like water-based lubes because they kind of, they feel very close to vaginal fluids, to the consistency of like semen. And so the ejaculate texture feels great. It doesn't feel like you're like gooping, you know, jelly into your partner or onto your partner's body. So if you like water-based lubes, I usually recommend Sliquid lube. I don't know if you can see it really well, but I will put these in your notes, so don't worry about having to write them down. So you can see, like it's not goopy, right? It's very, very silky. And it's not very- It's not super tacky. Like you're not getting this viscous kind of consistency. So water-based lubes are fine for hand jobs, but they do dry up quicker. If you're like pre-cum or spit is enough. Pre-cum and spit are cute. They are not lube. Because what happens is pre-cum, spit, and then water-based lube, like that's sort of the order within which that they're gonna dry up the quickest. Spit is gonna dry up the quickest, then pre-cum and some people don't produce enough pre-cum to actually be useful. But the other thing is is that this creates, like this silky texture, you can't get that with pre-cum and spit, right? So we want a silky texture because it actually affects the effectiveness and the pleasure of your technique. So you can be doing this move, add lube to it, it is like a whole new thing. So water-based lube is fine if you have water-based lube at home. If you don't have lube at home already, and you're looking- Oh, and I'm gonna moisturize with it. It's also a good moisturizer. If you don't have lube at home already, I would recommend getting a silicone-based lube for hand jobs. So silicone-based lubes, you can't use them on silicone toys, but I mean, we're talking about actual fleshy penises here, so you can use them on penises. They are also very, you can kinda see, like very silky. They're even silkier than water-based lubes. And so no like viscousness at all, right? Like no tackiness. What's great about them is that they don't absorb into the skin as quickly as water-based lube. So they last a really long time. So if you're doing a cock massage and you want to keep it slippery and warm, lubes are also a conductor for heat. And so they help kind of make your hands feel even warmer on a penis. So if someone is uncircumcised, you can put a little bit of lube like I did with my- I'll show you the other side, this looks so painful. Is you can put a little bit of lube inside, like a few drops into their foreskin. So just putting a little bit in there and then sort of like massaging it around so that it makes its way down. So that will combine with their natural lubrication but give you a longer lasting texture. So lube is life in summary. And when you're looking for things like silicone lubes, some people don't like it because they've had experiences where it stains their sheets or it like lasts too long. Keep a towel next to you or put a towel under them. But Uberlube, I use Uberlube, and one of their product claims is that it doesn't stain sheets. It's a silicone lube that doesn't stain sheets. So that's also a super good option for you to just kind of keep like and have it there. And you can make a whole show of like, putting on the lube, right? You're like get down to their penis and you're like, "Oh, I guess we're ready." Right? And then like massage it all around. I have to wipe off some of this lube now. Oh, more moisturizer. (laughs) All right. So how do we feel about exploring a bit with lube? Is that something we're gonna get into? Okay, cool, cool. All right. You can do hand jobs without lube, but like, why create that friction? Like, think about when someone's touching your clitoris it's not wet or lubey. It feels just like dryness, right? Good, I'm glad, yeah. Definitely go for it, because even if you forget any of the techniques and you're like, "Shit, what'd Luna say?" Say just use lube. It'll just like up your game. Okay. So when we're starting with- We're gonna start with one technique, which is called the twister. I'm actually gonna lower my screen and just keep talking to you so that you can see my hands. Okay. So the twister technique, you can do it with one hand, or you can do it with two hands, but it's allowing the shaft to get a lot of stimulation from sort of the strength and the texture of your hands and your knuckles. And so the twister, the two handed twister is you're just making half circles. And so you can start with half circles. You can also do the twister and kind of go down. And so you may go towards the body. You can do the twister and go up. So it's half circle up, half circle up. Or half circle down, half circle down. And remember your hands are gonna be like all slippery and lovely. If this is confusing for you, hold on to the base of the penis, because remember there's all this like stem of the penis that's still in there. So your hands can create a little bit of a cock ring and trap some of the blood a little bit harder in the penis and just take one hand and do the twister. That's totally acceptable. Now the key part of the twister is that whenever you're twisting either up or down towards the frenulum, you're gonna put a little bit extra pressure, or you're gonna put emphasis on this area. So emphasis might be, you know, you're twisting up. and when you get here, you put a little bit of a squeeze, or you make a little bit of an exaggeration motion, so that you're stimulating this area. So you just want to think about like, "Okay, I'm coming up, and then maybe I'm gonna slow a little bit here before I move my hand off." And so twisting can just be- One of the variations I'm gonna mention for all of these is that you can play with speed. So you can twist a little bit faster, or you can twist slower. You can twist like super exaggerated slow. I love doing slow moves to start. But then also once you have a responsive penis or a responsive partner, slow moves are a good way to kind of pause everything and then ramp pleasure back up. So instead of going like pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, we're going pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, and then kind of like leveling off and then pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. So you actually get a deeper level of pleasure. How do we feel about the twister? You like the twister? Yeah? Okay. I'm gonna put some lube, that looks so yummy. Okay, so this one is gonna be- This is my cutest and most favorite one. So this is also how you can put on lube with the twister, right? Like pour it on the top and then kind of move your hand down. So the twister doesn't really go over the head. I'm gonna show you one after that, that goes over the head. This one's called the bouncing octopus. So your hand is gonna be a cute little octopus and you're gonna hold on to either the base of the penis or the shaft of the penis, depending on what your partner's size is. My hands are super huge, so I like to hold on to the base of the penis. And you're gonna take the tips, kind of the pads of your fingers, you're starting at the head and you're moving down until it hits the back of your hand. And so it's a motion where you're moving down, your fingers are grazing the most sensitive parts of the penis. It's moving down to the shaft and it's hitting against the back of your hand. One of the key things about this motion is that when you're moving down, it's not a passive feathery moving down, this is an intentional pushing and pulling back up. So you're using your fingers or your tentacles as ways to kind of increase pressure and pleasure on all of the hotspots as you're going up and down. And so this can also be something that you increase with speed. This can be something you can add a little bit of a twist to. You can put your other hand and do something else while you're doing this. But this one is really nice, because the back of the hand feels like it's hitting the back of a vagina or a part of an anus, and so it just would like move- It gives it a little bit of a feeling of being encapsulated. So you're kind of like trapping this. With this change- Oh, if I had a penis, this move would look amazing. Yes. I know. I know, right? Would it change with an uncircumcised penis or no, because of the lighter touch? Oh, I'm gonna show you the octopus on- I'm gonna show you the octopus and the twister on the uncircumcised penis for sure, yes. Yeah, it does. It looks really good, right? So imagine if your partner, you know, your partner is like looking at you like this. This is the view you're getting, and you're just doing this like sexy octopus, and notice your fingers. Like, "Did you do your nails for this hand job?" You know, "Like did you like cut your nails?" Like look at your sexiness and like the movement, like connect to all of that. So I'm gonna show you two techniques at a time, and I'll take a break and then show you on uncircumcised penis, or show you on both of the models. So for uncircumcised penises, for the twister, if your person, if their foreskin is still sort of up, and if it hasn't retracted, or if you want to use the foreskin, the twister works the same way. And so the foreskin gets to be part of the kind of texture creation, of the motion of what's going on. You can also use your one hand to hold and retract to where it's comfortable for them to hold the foreskin and retract it, and then use this hand for the bouncing octopus, or for the twister, right? So we've got sort of a twist octopus or for the twister. And so we're still massaging the most sensitive parts of the penis on the uncircumcised penis, but we get to use the head as like an extra kind of texture. And I'm actually gonna talk with you about a sex toy that kind of feels like a foreskin. And so for circumcised penises, we can also give a similar sensation that that foreskin would have. I'm gonna show this one on uncircumcised penises first. So this is called scissor fingers. And I want to mention, I'm gonna show this on, on if someone has a smaller but erect or non-erect penis, it actually doesn't matter. So scissor fingers are about kind of using the crevice between two fingers to create a sensation. So this is super fun because it's gonna be a wet and lubey. And so you're gonna lube up your hands and your scissor fingers are going up and down, but then these two knuckles are also kind of either in the front of the penis, or they're just around the side of the penis. So you're tucking two fingers in and you're using the other two. Your thumbs are also free. So I'm gonna turn it and maybe I'll do it this way. Well, I can't because it's backwards. Okay, but my thumbs are also free to do things too. So if you're a scissor fingering and you want your thumbs to do something at the same time. So I could be and then using my thumbs to massage the frenulum, right? And so it's a motion that allows you to kind of give more concentrated pleasure, whereas this one is more encompassing, and this one feels more encompassing. It's actually good to mix up an encompassing one and a directed pleasure one, because every time you start to rise up the stimulation in the shaft, and then you take a little bit of a break for it and you're giving it less attention, less touch, less stimulation, it starts to get excited, it starts to crave more. So think about when, you know, if you were to have your hand right now, and if you were to lick your hand and then wait a few seconds and then exhale onto your hand, you're gonna feel a sensation, because you've changed the temperature of your hand by licking it and then blowing your hot breath on it. So it's the same thing with texture and pressure. We're giving pressure, pressure, pressure, lots and lots of touch, and then we're still giving stimulation, but it's a little bit less. Okay, so scissor fingers on a cut penis would look very similar. And so again, my thumbs are here, they're doing some fun things. And then my fingers are doing most of the work. So that one can also be a really sexy move if they are standing up and you're giving them sort of a towards your face, because it's like you're drawing their penis, you're jerking it or stroking it towards your face or towards your body. So there's sort of a visual kind of hotness to this. Oh, Krima oh, no problem. Have a sweet night, thank you for joining us. Your new partner is quite rough with himself when self-pleasuring, but I'm scared to be rough, any advice, please? Yes, for sure. And when a partner orgasms, unsure when to stop touching them or keep going till the end of orgasm. Okay, yes. I will answer both of those for sure. I'm gonna continue with the techniques, and you will have those in the replay, so you will get those answers, I promise. With our next kind of move. So we've got 10 moves to go through, so I gotta get you all these 10 moves. The next one is anchor and stroke. And so anchor and stroke is about- So if anyone struggles with like kind of hand coordination, this one's pretty good. So what it means is you're gonna create an anchor with one hand, similar to the twister. You're holding onto the base. And then the other hand is gonna create sort of an upward type of motion. So you're bringing the stroking upwards, and this can go over the head. So you're actually sort of- I'm gonna take off this one. So it looks you're grabbing it. You're pulling, you're sort of massaging. I'm putting emphasis around underneath the head and I'm coming all the way over the head. And so the anchor means your hand's creating a little bit of a cock ring again, and trapping more blood flow in here, which means there's gonna be more sensation. There's gonna be even more sensitivity. And this hand is kind of using it to sort of milk. So you can use it, you can stroke in this direction, or if your partner- So I'm gonna stick this kind of to my chest. So if this was my biologically attached penis, and you've watched me masturbate, and this is how I masturbate, right? Then when you're doing the anchor and stroke, you're gonna try and mimic the same kind of cupping. If I this way, cool. If I'm masturbating towards my own body, then you're gonna try and manipulate your stroke in the direction that they are normally enjoying. All right. Likewise, for uncircumcised penises, the anchor might also mean that your anchor is holding onto the foreskin. And so depending on someone's anatomy and how much it retracts and what's comfortable for them, the stroke could include just a portion of the exposed penis, or it could be the entire penis, and you're holding the foreskin back completely. And so the anchor and stroke, the only difference for uncircumcised penises is that you have options. You can either have it using the foreskin. So you can anchor- People's foreskins don't fold back like this, just FYI. This is just my dildo. This is why I ripped it last time, because it doesn't retract easily. All right. So (laughs) If you're holding onto their penis and let's say they aren't fully erect yet, or the foreskin hasn't retracted, you can actually use the foreskin. So you're gonna hang on- I know, poor rippy, I know. You're gonna hang onto the base of the penis, and then you're gonna do a little bit of stroking. So if you're stroking your bananas or you're stroking your water bottles, you want to see like, are you- 'Cause there's a difference between like, touching, right? And feeling something. So are you feeling this stroke? What does it feel like if you squeeze harder? What does it feel like if you go downwards? What does it feel like if you go slower? What does it feel like if you look at your hand versus not looking at your hand? So these are all ways for you to get your own kind of sexiness in there. This one I call the cuddle fist. So the cuddle fist is- The cuddle fist is a technique that's focused on the heads of the penis. And so basically you're making a fist and your hands are gonna be all lubed up. I'm gonna add more lube to my hands. And the cuddle fist is your wrapping sort of- Your focus is around from the base and underneath the head. And so that would be the base and underneath the head here. And then what we're doing is we're trying to create almost a suction with our fist. And so the move, it sort of looks like- It sort of looks like a stroke, but if I slow it down, it's a closing around, a grasping, and then sort of a pulling up. So your hand doesn't ever really leave, right? So it's sort of like, we're still giving pressure, even if you're doing it this way, if you're doing it pulling towards you, if you're going down on the cuddle fist, but this one is really effective in this type of motion. So wrapping your hand around one part of the shaft. And actually I'm gonna do it on a smaller penis so that it actually makes more sense. So this hand would be around one part of the shaft, and then this hand would sort of be moving it up. So this one can go really, really, really quickly, and can get someone super hard really quick, and they may feel that that's a little bit overstimulating, but then you can slow it down, and your hand is never really coming away. And so it's always having contact with the base of your hand. How does that one feel? How do you like the cuddle fist? Sounded like I was gonna punch it, but- (laughs) I do like punching dicks too. (laughs) Okay. Let's do- This one's called- So the cuddle fist, sorry. The cuddle fist also works the exact same way on a penis that is uncircumcised, and so you're either pulling the foreskin back as is comfortable, and then we're still keeping our hand attached to it. This one, actually I found, you know, you can use it when the penis is also not super erect. So if it's not super erect, I love this question around like how rough can you be with penises? So with penises that aren't erect, you can actually be a lot rougher. Like you can grab more, you can pull more, because the sensitivity isn't there yet. This is all just kind of like muscle, and when it's filled up with blood, that's where the sensitivity starts to increase. So you can try some of these techniques a little bit rougher on a penis that isn't erect, and it's not going to be painful in the same way if I came at, you know, this one like super rough. For people are who are really interested in rougher techniques, you can kind of start with a slower and then be like, "Babe, when you want me to go harder, I need you to tell me harder." Right? Or you can say, you can ask them, "Hey, like, you know, can I go harder? I kind of feel like going a little bit like rougher on you." And they will tell you when it doesn't feel good, because in the same way that if someone were to like, take teeth onto your unaroused clitoris, you're gonna tell them it's not gonna feel good. Right? Hopefully. Yes, looks looks more gentle than it sounds. Yeah, it does, it does. Looks good especially if your partner prefers focus on the head. For sure. Some people's heads are too sensitive, and they don't actually like a ton of focus. So for those people, you can- You don't really have to do cuddle fist, or you do it sort of slowly and gently. And it becomes more of like you're petting instead of like actually like dragging something. For folks that love it, you could go a little bit rougher, and remember rougher or more intense techniques with lube are less likely to cause kind of injury or pain, because the texture is mitigating the kind of muscle and the strength or the speed that you're putting into something. Okay, we have a couple more. So clasped fingers. So clasped fingers are- Let's do it on the small one again, 'cause I feel like this is unrealistic. But I'll show you it on the uncircumcised penis too. So clasped fingers are about taking the palms of your hands, so nice and lubed up. It's actually even sexy if like you warm them up or maybe you were like touching yourself first and your hands are all nice and warm, and you kind of like go over the penis and settle your palms around the shaft. And then you're gonna clasp your fingers. And so the head is gonna be popping out a little bit, or your thumbs, depending on the size of the person's penis and the size of your hands, your thumbs might be kind of nuzzling around the head of the penis, which is again, right, perfect for underneath the most sensitive parts of the penis. So the clasping, this is actually a technique of kind of encasing again, but this is a lot stronger than just having like two scissor fingers, right? So this is creating heat. This is creating pressure and this is creating this kind of consistent warmth that can make someone feel really, really excited. And so in this position, you're not making big strokes, right? I mean, if you have a giant 12 inch penis with you, maybe you're making like big strokes, but you know, with most penises, what we're doing is we're kind of like massaging without really going anywhere. And so this is a good one if you like spit, this is a good time to like spit on a penis and then kind of just like allow your fingers to massage around the head. This one, if you are- You can't do this one one-handed obviously, but let's say you're working with a penis that is smaller or is not as erect. You can still do it, right? So I'm still holding onto the penis, and instead of going up and down, maybe there's no room to do that. What I might do is go side to side. And so that side to side rolling along with the stimulation on the head can feel really, really yummy for someone. All right, so you've had twister, you had bouncing octopus, you had scissor fingers, anchor and stroke, cuddle fist, clasped fingers. And for clasped fingers on uncircumcised penises, it's actually very similar to the benefits of, of stroking, of the anchor and stroke, where we can use the foreskin. And so the foreskin actually becomes a part of the clasp. If you want to do the clasp or they want to do the clasp with their foreskin retracted, you can ask them to hold their foreskin, and then you're gonna clasp and you're gonna use the exposed part of the penis to give pleasure to. Alrighty. Oh, this poor foreskin. God, they need a version two of this dick. (laughs) Okay, well, we're done with these demos for now. We'll let it lube up over there. Maybe it just needs some time. When we're looking at one other technique that you can kind of mix in, whether it's on a uncircumcised penis or a circumcised penis, is you can kind of use your thumbs when you're in a position where you're holding or you're grasping. Or if you're grasping even with one hand, like your thumb is a different texture. So think about if you were to like suck on your thumb or a finger and then just like drag it slowly and around the penis while holding the shaft with your hand. That's a really good warmup move and it's hot as fuck, because you get to, you know, kind of like do a little bit of like a visual like "Mmm, yes, and this is like what we're gonna do tonight, right? Or like, "Mmm, I was just want to get my spit all over your penis." So that can be a way to sort of feel like that you are owning it, right? Like you're entering this intentionally. I like to use the thumbs as a little ritual. Like it's for me to be like, "Yeah, like I want to do this. Like, I'm gonna make this dick like, feel so amazing." And it allows you to kind of like find your thing to center on in all of this, in all of this hand pleasure. So I've got a couple more for you. So think about using your body in your hand jobs. And so if you- If you like, if you're a person is lying down and you want to straddle their thigh, or you want to straddle their shin, whatever's comfortable for them, and let them feel the warmth of your genitals, the warmth of between your legs on their body while you're giving them a hand job, you can also use your chest. So it doesn't actually matter what size of chest you have, but you can alternate between like having your hands and then putting your chest, resting it on their body, and kind of just like moving it over their lubed up penis. And so that looks visually delicious. If for you, if you have sensitive nipples, that's also a great way to kind of like rub your nipples on something and gyrate a little bit and get attention for yourself. So using other parts of your body can be really sexy. And someone mentioned, you know, kind of like integrating pleasure for the other parts of the body into hand jobs. Like when we learn a new skill, and this is everyone's challenge, we hyper focus on the area that we've learned the new skill about. And so this person has no other thing except for their penis. They have no other thing except for their anus. They have no other for whatever area that we're focusing on. So one thing to remember, and a way to get engaged in the rest of their body, is that when you're starting the hand job, like you've decided, they've decided it's hand job time, you're gonna make your way down to the hand job so painfully slow, right? And so that doesn't mean that you can only be sensual. Slow has nothing to do with- You can be slow and rough. You can be slow and powerful. You can be slow and submissive. You can be slow and sensual. You can be slow and sassy. You can be slow and sweet. Slowness is about creating tease for them. And when you create tease for them, they don't know exactly when you're gonna get to their hand job, and so you'll notice if you're starting to touch other parts of their body, they're already gonna start to get either erect or their breath is gonna change, or they're gonna get kind of excited, because you're allowing them an opportunity to be really present in their body because they don't know what's next. And so when you finally get down to the hand job, remember they've got inner thighs, right? Inner thighs are so sensitive. So you could drag your hands down their stomach, their, you know, lower belly around their penis, but then out their inner thighs, use your fingernails if they like that. You can kiss those areas. I love putting my face next to a penis, but I'm not gonna put it in my mouth, I'm gonna do something else. So giving that like tease, so it's like you go in and then, oh, you're like, "Oh, but look, I discovered your thighs." And then you're like, "Oh, your dick again." And then you come back to the dick. And so it gets to feel like you're creating a rhythm. It gets to feel like- Oh, it's starting to thunderstorm. I'm just gonna close my window. (laughs) And so it gets to feel like you're creating some sort of consistency in the seduction of it. And remember, this doesn't have to be like- You don't have to be like hand job heroes like every single time. Like once you start to wield that slowness and that sensation-based approach to their body, it actually just becomes something that makes you feel really sexy. You're like, "Mmm, I'm turning on my hand job hero power. I know what's coming next, right?" And when you're focused on their penis with your hands, and you're doing all these kinds of things, what you can do is when you want to pull away from that intensity of pleasure, is do a simple stroke that you're able to do, so do the bouncing octopus, take the other hand and then you can either do a perineum stroke or you can hold a vibrator against their perineum, or take the other hand and like move it up their body, just drag it all the way up their body. And all I'm doing is like massaging the head. So you could do even, you could do the cuddle fist. Oh, it's stuck to the table. You could do the cuddle fist while you're moving like this hand all the way up their body. How many of you like eye contact? Who's into eye contact? I feel like eye contact is one of the sexiest things that- Yeah, I love like- It's like eye fucking, you know? It can make you feel super shy, super awkward, but because it's so intense, right? It's so intense to be seen and to see someone. And so you could play with eye contact. That's another way to connect the rest of the body. And so you could be focusing on the penis, and then maybe you just kind of like look up a little bit, make eye contact, and then like go back down to like whatever you're doing. If you don't want to be looked at while you're trying out like the bouncing octopus or whatever, give your partner a blindfold, if they're comfortable being blindfolded. That way you don't have to be watched while you're like, "Okay, Luna said the bouncing octopus. Okay, I'm gonna try the octopus." You know? And so you can actually approach it in a way that it's about like, we're focusing on this sensation tonight. So I want to take away this sense to heighten the rest of your other senses. Okay. So that was using the rest of your body. And then I've got three more for you, but I'm just gonna check out your questions here. Looks good, especially if your partner- Okay, sorry, I read that one. Erectile tissue beyond the penis in the body. Are these also utilizing that? Yeah, so anytime that you're grasping the base of the penis, that's gonna give some stimulation into the boomerang part of the penis that's inside the body. It depends on the position, but if you're pressing against that, so if you're grasping sort of behind the balls at the base of the penis, and you're using this part of your hand to like press against the body, sometimes it presses onto their bladder, and so it can feel like they have to pee. So we want just the pressure to be in our fingers and less on against the side of their body, like pressing against their body. Alrighty. All right. Partners is, and I'm too shy. I take off my glasses during sex. That's so good, that's so good. Then you're like, "Huh, don't know what's happening. Don't know if it's hot or not, but it feels good." Because a lot of sex we've been told is like so performative. And we focus on like, "Oh, like I should look and sound a certain way in sex." When most of us actually sound a lot more guttural and primal during sex. We don't sound like uh, uh, that's porn. That's intended for us to have a particular emotion and reaction to that sound. It's sensationalized in produced porn. So for us, sometimes it's hard to get out of that, because we haven't seen real people have real sex, right? Like we're still all just kind of clumsily trying to you know, mimic those kinds of possibilities, right? Okay. And Krima, I want to answer your questions. So this is a question that might be relevant for lots of you too. So this idea of being rough and not knowing if it's okay to be rough. I think this is an opportunity to also talk about, you know, or to engage in communication. And so using that simple kind of like, "Wwell, should I like turn this up a notch? Is this good? Or do you need it like good?" And getting them to even put their hand on top of your hand and show you like how rough they like it. Remember too, that the way that they touch their bodies is not necessarily going to be the exact same recreation. We're just looking for like, hints about what direction to go. We're not looking to create their same, you know, calloused hands that they've known like since they were like five and like become their fists. Like we're actually giving them a different kind of pleasure. Then that's why, you know, it's really important for, you know, for us to maintain these sexual relationships to ourself and then have partnered sex as well. When a partner orgasms, unsure whether to stop touching them. So this one, I really- This is a really good question. So this also depends on the person. So some people like to keep the stroke going after orgasm, but slower and not on the head. And so the head becomes too sensitive after orgasm for most people. Excuse me. Especially for penises that are uncircumcised, like the head is gonna be too sensitive. So what you're doing is, let's say you're doing this, and this like makes them orgasm and your hand's like all full of jizz, what you can do is just start to like slowly stroke around here. Right? And so you're just gonna slowly stroke the shaft in sort of a gentle, not a lot of pressure and just avoid the most sensitive areas. Because it is abrupt if you're like, they come and then you're like, "Whoa!" And you just like dive out of the way and like abandon their dick. So we want to stay with the pleasure, but we don't want to add extra sensation to super sensitive areas. Okay. Definitely more primal sounds for you. Yes, me too. My partner is older and has a softer erection, so hand jobs and re-introducing him to sex, pleasure for just him, I'm into this to bring him back into pleasure. Yeah, that's awesome. That's why I like cock massages. I had a partner where I would give him a full body massage and then I would give him a cock massage, and the combination of arousing all of these other parts of his body that get ignored, so thighs and knees and shoulders and chest and backs all have a lot of nerve endings, and getting someone into that relaxed state and then giving them a cock massage for like 10 or 15 minutes or whatever's comfortable, that sometimes can contribute to full body orgasms, where they feel the orgasm in their penis, but they feel a sensation like that is orgasmic in the rest of their body. So if you are dealing with someone that has softer erections or has kind of fickle erections, that's totally fine. Hand jobs are a great place to have that, because a penis does not need to get erect for a hand job. And it is not a sign of a successful hand job that it's erect. It is you're here to kind of give this pleasure in a way that feels good for both of you. Yes, that's also a misconception that you're just trying to mimic their hand. Yeah, and I think some of us have had experiences where it feels like they're just trying to tell us how to mas- I definitely have. I've had experiences where I'm like, "Huh, so I'm just here to like, do you the way you do you, and like, this is not fun for me." Sometimes it was fun in that there were other things that made it fun, but if it sort of isolated into like, "Oh yeah, like I love jerking off. I just want you to jerk me off." You know, it depends how you feel about it. If that's sexy for you, if it feels spontaneous, if it feels giving, you feel of service, you feel like playful, do it. That's totally fine. But that shouldn't be the default narrative around hand jobs. We're not sort of just replacing their hand. We're giving a lot more intimacy and creativity into that. Okay, so I've got three more techniques for you. And so this one is a hand to mouth one. And so if your partner does like BJs, this is actually really good if your partner likes deep throating and you don't like deep throating, because porn has basically told us that deep throating is like the epitome of blow jobs, and it is not. So I just explained to you penis anatomy, right? Where is the most sensitive part of the penis? Not here. So a lot of times deep throating is around like the visual of it. It could also be around the feeling of like, kind of that encasement. And so your warm mouth, your warm throat, sort of captured around the penis. But hand jobs, hand job, hand mouth combos are a great way to kind of mimic that. And so now we know where to grasp the penis. So we're grasping on this model, I mean, I'm grasping- You can grasp behind the balls. You can grasp like around the balls. My circumcised penis doesn't have balls, but we're grasping at the base. And you can either hold onto the base and do things with your mouth and this hand where your mouth and your hand are actually a continuation of each other, so they become like a tunnel. And so your hand is going down and then your mouth is going down with it, right? And so I'm not gonna do that, 'cause I have to talk, but your mouth would go down and follow your hand. You can also create even more sensation by holding on, like covering the shaft with one hand and then using your sort of like the cuddle fist, right? So we're gonna cuddle around it and then bringing it down and again, like using your mouth. And so your hand is mainly focused on this area. You're keeping this one still, and we're just going down and kind of moving with it. Hand jobs are also fun if you're kind of doing it up this way, you can take a break. So for those of you that struggle with pacing and with like figuring out like what to do next, you're gonna do a technique long enough that you can get a rhythm and a buildup to see if it's even doing anything. And so there's no pressure. Like I wouldn't be sitting here counting, being like, "Okay, I've done this for 15 strokes. Doesn't seem to be working. Should move on." You're gonna do it for a little bit and be like, "Babe, do you like that?" And if they're like, "Oh yeah, it feels so good." Or if they're kind of like, "Mmm," and you've learned their pleasure responses. You can also decide like, 'Okay, I'm gonna switch to something else." And then if this was working better, then go back to this. Right? And so take the pressure off of yourself to be the kind of producer of the hand job. You are here to offer a hand job. You are here to offer pleasure. You're here to offer intimacy, playfulness, relaxation, connection. And so that can be the, the mixing up of the hand and the mouth, that can be a good way to have pacing as well. So you can be stroking for a bit, and then maybe I spit on it and I'm like licking around the head. Now it's all like wet again. Maybe I used flavored lube and I'm eating like a caramel latte dick. And then we're gonna like move the hand with the spit or with the lube and move it down. And so you get to kind of alternate between hand and mouth. That also helps folks that are not so crazy about blow jobs or their jaw gets tired, or they just find it overwhelming to try and do more coordinated moves. So you can do them in alternate. So do this for a bit and then maybe like lick, make it nice and wet and then do something again. Any of the lubes that I showed you are safe to ingest and they're tasteless. So they don't actually taste like anything. They're not gonna taste chemical. Or like, if you were to put some sort of medical lube in your mouth. How do we feel about hand and mouth? Do we like hand and mouth combos? I feel like they're fun. Like they help me pace a little bit, because I tend to rush through things. I'm like bouncing octopus, okay, cuddle fist. And so I like mixing doing one thing and then like doing something with my mouth and then doing something again. I find that that's pretty helpful. All right. The other two that I'm gonna talk about actually have to do with butts and prostates and then positions. But I want to mention for all of these eight that we've talked about. So you have eight techniques, but you actually have like way more than that, because any of those techniques, you can mix up with speed, with pressure, with rhythm and with direction. So all of them have these like infinite kind of combinations. You can also play with things like temperature. So if you were doing a hand/mouth combo, and you spit on the dick and you started stroking a little bit, and then you (exhales) onto it, that's gonna give it a completely different sensation. You can play with ice cubes. You can play with cooling lubes. You can play with warming lubes. I would stay away from weed lubes if you're doing hand jobs, because some weed lubes- If your partner is hypersensitive, if they, you know, two strokes and like, they've come, weed lubes are good because for penises, they actually relax the muscle. And so if someone struggles with erections already or getting hard, weed lubes are not a good idea to use on their penis. But you can use them if someone is a little bit too sensitive. You can also do that by adding a condom. That will decrease some of the sensitivity. Okay, I don't really understand what cock massage is. So it's instead of stroking, we're massaging the penis. So those techniques are more focused on massage and less focused on like milking an orgasm out of someone. So it's a change both in the technique and in the intention behind it, and so what you're trying to do. What lubes are good, more natural if you're moving from hand job to blow job? Some tastes very chemical. Caramel lube got- Yes. So Wicked, Wicked is a brand of lubes that it's safe for vulvas because- It's a safe flavored lube for vulvas. So if you want to sit on that penis afterwards, don't put anything on it that, unless you're gonna use a condom on it after, don't put anything on it that might also transfer into your body, and if you're already prone to UTIs or yeast infections, flavored lubes that have sugar or glycerin, usually it's written as glycerin in it, are not gonna be good for your body. So Wicked is actually flavored with Stevia, and so it's totally safe and they taste amazing. They don't taste like those cough syrupy kind of strawberry lubes. They taste like, I have a pink lemonade one. I ate a pink lemonade asshole, it was great. So you can use those types of lubes. You're gonna find those at sex positive sex shops. You're not gonna find them like on sort of bigger, more commercial sex brands. I have a code for you for a local feminist sex shop to save 15%. So I mean, lube is a good thing to just stock up on. I'm gonna include that in your notes for you. You liked hand/mouth. Okay, great. That's the only thing you can pace, amazing. Never thought of a direction like to the side and upward. Yeah, it's hard to get imaginative with it, because we've just seen this. Right? Like we haven't seen really anything else. Okay, so I just want to mention before we close up. Butts and prostate. So for some people, they really enjoy having the combo pleasure of a hand job and either external anal play or even a finger or a toy in their penis or in their anus. And so do you have to kind of gauge the level of comfort with your partner and have that discussion. Nobody should be touching anybody's butt until like permission and consent has been given. It's not fun to be kind of surprised. There's no such thing as surprise anal, basically. That's what our- lube is life, and there's no such thing as surprise anal. But if your partner is into butt stuff, I'm gonna show you two butt plugs that are really good to be inside. So you're looking for butt plugs that don't take up too much space inside of their body. So this is from Njoy and I'm gonna put these in your notes for you. So the Njoy butt plug, and this one is the B-Vibe butt plug. And what I like about B-Vibe is that it has a freakin' remote control. So you can put this in your partner's butt, give them the remote, and then you can focus on your hand job and they can control their butt pleasure, right? Or when they're jerking off, if they're doing a little show for you, you can hold on to the remote and control the pleasure in their butt. This also has a YouTube or an app, and so a Bluetooth app so you can connect with that as well. This one is great because it's curved in a way. So this is straighter. This is not necessarily gonna stimulate the prostate. But this is curved in a way that it would hit the prostate and provide that kind of firm pressure to it. So you could be rocking this in their penis while you're doing something, you know, with your hand, right? So you could do cuddle fist and like put this in their penis, in their anus. Why do I keep saying penis? Anus. It's 'cause it's not a butt stuff night. I'm just talking about dicks tonight. Okay. With position. So positions is another area where you can mix things up. Are there particular positions you like to give hand jobs in? Is this something- Do you like it when your partner's like lying down? Do you like it when they're standing up? Think about like, you could even come from behind and start to play with them and playing through their clothing or through their underwear is a good way to start a hand job, right? Because you're creating tease. And so maybe you're just grabbing, massaging, stroking, you know, playing with it. And then maybe you go away, and they're cooking dinner, and you're like, "Yeah, I'll see that later. You know, I'll see you in the cuddle fist later." And so thinking about like all the different ways that you can play with someone. A hand job can be given if they are on all fours. So that might be a position that they feel really sexy in and you can reach around them and or stroke between their legs and stroke their penis that way, and it's almost like you're milking a cow, but you now have techniques other than just this, right? Them standing up is also a fun one. Them sitting on a chair with their legs spread. You can also do hand jobs in a 69 position. So you could be sitting on their face, and for some people, this modified 69 is actually more fun than a regular 69, because they find it kind of intimidating or the height difference is like not good, and you just can't be on each other. So if you're kind of leaning a little bit up, but a little bit forward, and then you've maybe got one hand to balance you, and then you've got your other hand. I had a partner where I could see when his toes were starting to like curl, and I was like, "Oh yeah, we're close, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna back off because I want this to last." (laughs) So you can start to notice parts of their body, or maybe they start to react in a certain way to giving you head while they're playing. If you need stimulation too, remember, you can put toys inside you, you can hold toys against yourself. You can be in a position where they're lying down and you're on all fours, and would have your butt close to their face, and then your hands are working them and their hands are free. So their hands can reach around and touch your nipples or your genitals or your anus and give you pleasure while you're giving them pleasure. So mix up those positions. It totally keeps it interesting versus like flop and you know, like here, it's hand job time. All right, never thought of direction. Like, oh, sorry, that one I already read. Always feel like he is lying down. I want to try it with him standing up. Yes, so if you want to try it with him standing up, start to give that flirtation. Start to leave those breadcrumbs of sexiness like when he is standing up. And so when he's standing up, you could even come behind him and start to touch him and say, "You know, I would love to stroke you while you're in this position, like while you're standing up and I get to kneel down and look up at you. I think that'd be so hot." And so when we create like sexual changes or prompts or breadcrumbs outside of our sexual experiences, sometimes it's less intimidating. It's a little bit easier to communicate with all of like the hormones and the hotness happening. So that can be a fun way to kind of mix things up. All right, so I'm gonna give you- How many- Oh, I already told you a lot of the pro tips. I have two pro tips left for you. One tip is called- How many of you have heard of the technique called edging? Have you heard of edging? So edging can be done on anybody's body. Yes, yes, yes. How do we feel about edging? Do we like edging? You've heard of it? Okay, I'm gonna explain it. Amazing, you're curious, cool. Love it, okay, all right. So I love giving edging. I don't like receiving it, because I'm an instant gratification person. And so edging is about using a technique or a rhythm that is continuous, and you're taking the person to close to orgasm, but when you get to that vibration, like sometimes the penis vein will vibrate or you know their certain mode or move or sound they're making, they're about to come, or they tell you, you know, I'm gonna come soon. Then what you want to do is you back off of that pleasure that is going to take them to orgasm. So backing off doesn't mean stroke, stroke, stroke, you're about to come, and you're like, "Oh, look at my nails. I haven't done my nails yet." It means that you're gonna stroke, stroke, stroke, I'm about to come, and I slow it down. And maybe I'm gonna move to a different part of the penis that isn't as sensitive. That might also mean that I take a complete break, but I exit by like just like dragging my fingers, dragging out. Maybe I look up and make eye contact. Maybe I come back in and then, "Oh, here we are again." So what this does is it actually deepens their perception and their experience of the sensations that you're giving, because we're bringing it to an almost boiling point, but then we're letting it simmer, right? So we're not taking it over the top. This is actually the point where some people with penises can train themselves to have multiple orgasms. So in both vulvas and penises, orgasm and ejaculation are separate events. In penises, they happen seconds apart, but they are separate events. So someone of the penis could potentially ejaculate or have an orgasm without ejaculating. And so they can retain erection. They can retain their hardness without losing the ability to orgasm or the opportunity to orgasm. So it's this point of right before orgasm, where we have to learn or they have to learn it, because the way that you give a multiple is that when they're about to come, they actually have to practice this on their own first, because it's such a specific point, and they have to learn to control that point between orgasm and ejaculation. And so it's about kind of squeezing. Ugh, this one's all dried up. So it's about squeezing just under the head, and during right before ejaculation, and so that squeeze is actually gonna pinch the urethra. And so the urethra is where urine and semen comes out of. And so pinching that allows the body to experience orgasm without ejaculating. So that's like next level, right? You can tell your partner about it and tell him to try practicing what that might be like if they're masturbating, and if they can kind of like pay attention to like, what does it feel like in that moment, you know, before orgasm? They'd have to sort of tune into it and then give you information about it. And my other favorite thing. I'm actually gonna be giving away some of these in my November newsletter. So if you're not on my newsletter list, get on there. I want to give you some cock sleeves. So these are called masturbation sleeves. So you can see how on the inside they're kind of textured. They've got like ridges. And then on the outside, mine's a little bit dirty, because they do pick up a lot of like hair and stuff. So what we do with these is we put some lube on the inside and we put them over the head of the penis. I'm gonna bring you back down. And so this becomes a sleeve, so that warm, wet lube and that like textured pattern on the inside, it actually becomes like a little jerk off sleeve. So it sounds horrible. I feel we could do like ASMR with this. (squishing) (laughs) But that's also because it's on a dildo, but like on skin and on flesh, this can feel super, super good. So this is very similar to- It's basically a smaller version of like fleshlights. So those masturbation cases that people with penises can use to jerk off into. It's supposed to simulate the inside of an orifice, so an anus or a vagina. And these are usually- You can use them a few uses. You just wash them out afterwards, but they're super fun. And you can also use them on penises that are uncircumcised. So you actually put it, you can put it over and use it so it gives that sensation, or you can retract the foreskin and then use it on just like even the top of the head, right? That's even gonna make it a super fun sensation. So they're fairly inexpensive. I'm giving away this brand, this like Tenga Egg. So they're called Tenga Eggs. I'll put these in your notes as well for you. All right. The last thing I want to show you- I lied, so last thing I want to show you is cock rings. So cock rings, if your person wants to maintain a harder or a longer erection, cock rings are super great for that. They're not to be worn for more than like 20 or 30 minutes. So they trap the erection that's already in the penis. They trap that pressurized blood there a little bit longer or a little bit harder. So for hand jobs, this might be fun. So putting it on there and having a harder or a more erect penis can allow you to do things that you might not get to do, or you want to move the penis to a different stage in order to do different things. Cock rings are also usually really inexpensive. And if you get one that has like a vibrator on it, cock rings can also be magically used on everybody's body. So they can be used for fingering too. So if you have a vagina, someone can finger you with a cock ring and the vibration of it is going to stimulate the outside of your vagina, potentially your clitoris too. All right, fun times, right? Toys for penises. A lot of toys for penises. I feel like penises don't get enough attention for all of their toys. All right, so thank you everyone for being here tonight, all you hand job- Did we decide we're hand-job heroes? Is that who we are? (laughs) Okay, good, good, I'm so glad. I'm so, so glad you had a good- Yes, HJH, yes. We need like outfits. I feel like we need outfits or at least capes. I don't know. If it's not too much to ask, give me a hand job cake. Cape and cake. Okay, you get a cake too. So in your notes, I'm gonna include the lubes I talked about, the toys I talked about, and the discount code, if you don't want to wait for me and you want to go explore on your own, it's at goodforher.com and you can use LUNA15, and that will get you 15% off your purchase, everything but workshops. I'm so glad you all had such a great time. I'm really, really glad. I'm glad that you showed up tonight. I'm glad that you showed up for yourself. I hope that you can get more pleasure out of giving and these communication skills that we learned in things that are simple like hand jobs can help us when things get more complex or more unfamiliar if you're venturing into kink or you're disclosing trauma, or you're, you know, trying to deepen intimacy in some way. It's really cool to take these skills and extrapolate them into other situations where we can benefit from more communication. Thank you so much, and so what have I got coming up next? If you're not doing anything on Halloween, I'm gonna be having a costume party online and a role play. So if you're interested in role play or dirty talk, come out to that. And then I have rough sex next week. So if you're into rough sex, if you're into rougher things, I'm gonna be teaching folks how to have rough sex safely. And I'm actually, I'm gonna stop the webinar, but you guys hang out for a second. So when we're starting with- We're gonna start with one technique, which is called the twister. I'm actually gonna lower my screen and just keep talking to you so that you can see my hands. Okay. So the twister technique, you can do it with one hand, or you can do it with two hands, but it's allowing the shaft to get a lot of stimulation from sort of the strength and the texture of your hands and your knuckles. And so the twister, the two handed twister is you're just making half circles. And so you can start with half circles. You can also do the twister and kind of go down. And so you may go towards the body. You can do the twister and go up. So it's half circle up, half circle up. Or half circle down, half circle down. And remember your hands are gonna be like all slippery and lovely. If this is confusing for you, hold on to the base of the penis, because remember there's all this like stem of the penis that's still in there. So your hands can create a little bit of a cock ring and trap some of the blood a little bit harder in the penis and just take one hand and do the twister. That's totally acceptable. Now the key part of the twister is that whenever you're twisting either up or down towards the frenulum, you're gonna put a little bit extra pressure, or you're gonna put emphasis on this area. So emphasis might be, you know, you're twisting up. and when you get here, you put a little bit of a squeeze, or you make a little bit of an exaggeration motion, so that you're stimulating this area. So you just want to think about like, "Okay, I'm coming up, and then maybe I'm gonna slow a little bit here before I move my hand off." And so twisting can just be- One of the variations I'm gonna mention for all of these is that you can play with speed. So you can twist a little bit faster, or you can twist slower. You can twist like super exaggerated slow. I love doing slow moves to start. But then also once you have a responsive penis or a responsive partner, slow moves are a good way to kind of pause everything and then ramp pleasure back up. So instead of going like pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, we're going pleasure, pleasure, pleasure, and then kind of like leveling off and then pleasure, pleasure, pleasure. So you actually get a deeper level of pleasure. How do we feel about the twister? You like the twister? Yeah? Okay. I'm gonna put some lube, that looks so yummy. Okay, so this one is gonna be- This is my cutest and most favorite one. So this is also how you can put on lube with the twister, right? Like pour it on the top and then kind of move your hand down. So the twister doesn't really go over the head. I'm gonna show you one after that, that goes over the head. This one's called the bouncing octopus. So your hand is gonna be a cute little octopus and you're gonna hold on to either the base of the penis or the shaft of the penis, depending on what your partner's size is. My hands are super huge, so I like to hold on to the base of the penis. And you're gonna take the tips, kind of the pads of your fingers, you're starting at the head and you're moving down until it hits the back of your hand. And so it's a motion where you're moving down, your fingers are grazing the most sensitive parts of the penis. It's moving down to the shaft and it's hitting against the back of your hand. One of the key things about this motion is that when you're moving down, it's not a passive feathery moving down, this is an intentional pushing and pulling back up. So you're using your fingers or your tentacles as ways to kind of increase pressure and pleasure on all of the hotspots as you're going up and down. And so this can also be something that you increase with speed. This can be something you can add a little bit of a twist to. You can put your other hand and do something else while you're doing this. But this one is really nice, because the back of the hand feels like it's hitting the back of a vagina or a part of an anus, and so it just would like move- It gives it a little bit of a feeling of being encapsulated. So you're kind of like trapping this. With this change- Oh, if I had a penis, this move would look amazing. Yes. I know. I know, right? Would it change with an uncircumcised penis or no, because of the lighter touch? Oh, I'm gonna show you the octopus on- I'm gonna show you the octopus and the twister on the uncircumcised penis for sure, yes. Yeah, it does. It looks really good, right? So imagine if your partner, you know, your partner is like looking at you like this. This is the view you're getting, and you're just doing this like sexy octopus, and notice your fingers. Like, "Did you do your nails for this hand job?" You know, "Like did you like cut your nails?" Like look at your sexiness and like the movement, like connect to all of that. So I'm gonna show you two techniques at a time, and I'll take a break and then show you on uncircumcised penis, or show you on both of the models. So for uncircumcised penises, for the twister, if your person, if their foreskin is still sort of up, and if it hasn't retracted, or if you want to use the foreskin, the twister works the same way. And so the foreskin gets to be part of the kind of texture creation, of the motion of what's going on. You can also use your one hand to hold and retract to where it's comfortable for them to hold the foreskin and retract it, and then use this hand for the bouncing octopus, or for the twister, right? So we've got sort of a twist octopus or for the twister. And so we're still massaging the most sensitive parts of the penis on the uncircumcised penis, but we get to use the head as like an extra kind of texture. And I'm actually gonna talk with you about a sex toy that kind of feels like a foreskin. And so for circumcised penises, we can also give a similar sensation that that foreskin would have. I'm gonna show this one on uncircumcised penises first. So this is called scissor fingers. And I want to mention, I'm gonna show this on, on if someone has a smaller but erect or non-erect penis, it actually doesn't matter. So scissor fingers are about kind of using the crevice between two fingers to create a sensation. So this is super fun because it's gonna be a wet and lubey. And so you're gonna lube up your hands and your scissor fingers are going up and down, but then these two knuckles are also kind of either in the front of the penis, or they're just around the side of the penis. So you're tucking two fingers in and you're using the other two. Your thumbs are also free. So I'm gonna turn it and maybe I'll do it this way. Well, I can't because it's backwards. Okay, but my thumbs are also free to do things too. So if you're a scissor fingering and you want your thumbs to do something at the same time. So I could be and then using my thumbs to massage the frenulum, right? And so it's a motion that allows you to kind of give more concentrated pleasure, whereas this one is more encompassing, and this one feels more encompassing. It's actually good to mix up an encompassing one and a directed pleasure one, because every time you start to rise up the stimulation in the shaft, and then you take a little bit of a break for it and you're giving it less attention, less touch, less stimulation, it starts to get excited, it starts to crave more. So think about when, you know, if you were to have your hand right now, and if you were to lick your hand and then wait a few seconds and then exhale onto your hand, you're gonna feel a sensation, because you've changed the temperature of your hand by licking it and then blowing your hot breath on it. So it's the same thing with texture and pressure. We're giving pressure, pressure, pressure, lots and lots of touch, and then we're still giving stimulation, but it's a little bit less. Okay, so scissor fingers on a cut penis would look very similar. And so again, my thumbs are here, they're doing some fun things. And then my fingers are doing most of the work. So that one can also be a really sexy move if they are standing up and you're giving them sort of a towards your face, because it's like you're drawing their penis, you're jerking it or stroking it towards your face or towards your body. So there's sort of a visual kind of hotness to this. Oh, Krima oh, no problem. Have a sweet night, thank you for joining us. Your new partner is quite rough with himself when self-pleasuring, but I'm scared to be rough, any advice, please? Yes, for sure. And when a partner orgasms, unsure when to stop touching them or keep going till the end of orgasm. Okay, yes. I will answer both of those for sure. I'm gonna continue with the techniques, and you will have those in the replay, so you will get those answers, I promise. With our next kind of move. So we've got 10 moves to go through, so I gotta get you all these 10 moves. The next one is anchor and stroke. And so anchor and stroke is about- So if anyone struggles with like kind of hand coordination, this one's pretty good. So what it means is you're gonna create an anchor with one hand, similar to the twister. You're holding onto the base. And then the other hand is gonna create sort of an upward type of motion. So you're bringing the stroking upwards, and this can go over the head. So you're actually sort of- I'm gonna take off this one. So it looks you're grabbing it. You're pulling, you're sort of massaging. I'm putting emphasis around underneath the head and I'm coming all the way over the head. And so the anchor means your hand's creating a little bit of a cock ring again, and trapping more blood flow in here, which means there's gonna be more sensation. There's gonna be even more sensitivity. And this hand is kind of using it to sort of milk. So you can use it, you can stroke in this direction, or if your partner- So I'm gonna stick this kind of to my chest. So if this was my biologically attached penis, and you've watched me masturbate, and this is how I masturbate, right? Then when you're doing the anchor and stroke, you're gonna try and mimic the same kind of cupping. If I this way, cool. If I'm masturbating towards my own body, then you're gonna try and manipulate your stroke in the direction that they are normally enjoying. All right. Likewise, for uncircumcised penises, the anchor might also mean that your anchor is holding onto the foreskin. And so depending on someone's anatomy and how much it retracts and what's comfortable for them, the stroke could include just a portion of the exposed penis, or it could be the entire penis, and you're holding the foreskin back completely. And so the anchor and stroke, the only difference for uncircumcised penises is that you have options. You can either have it using the foreskin. So you can anchor- People's foreskins don't fold back like this, just FYI. This is just my dildo. This is why I ripped it last time, because it doesn't retract easily. All right. So (laughs) If you're holding onto their penis and let's say they aren't fully erect yet, or the foreskin hasn't retracted, you can actually use the foreskin. So you're gonna hang on- I know, poor rippy, I know. You're gonna hang onto the base of the penis, and then you're gonna do a little bit of stroking. So if you're stroking your bananas or you're stroking your water bottles, you want to see like, are you- 'Cause there's a difference between like, touching, right? And feeling something. So are you feeling this stroke? What does it feel like if you squeeze harder? What does it feel like if you go downwards? What does it feel like if you go slower? What does it feel like if you look at your hand versus not looking at your hand? So these are all ways for you to get your own kind of sexiness in there. This one I call the cuddle fist. So the cuddle fist is- The cuddle fist is a technique that's focused on the heads of the penis. And so basically you're making a fist and your hands are gonna be all lubed up. I'm gonna add more lube to my hands. And the cuddle fist is your wrapping sort of- Your focus is around from the base and underneath the head. And so that would be the base and underneath the head here. And then what we're doing is we're trying to create almost a suction with our fist. And so the move, it sort of looks like- It sort of looks like a stroke, but if I slow it down, it's a closing around, a grasping, and then sort of a pulling up. So your hand doesn't ever really leave, right? So it's sort of like, we're still giving pressure, even if you're doing it this way, if you're doing it pulling towards you, if you're going down on the cuddle fist, but this one is really effective in this type of motion. So wrapping your hand around one part of the shaft. And actually I'm gonna do it on a smaller penis so that it actually makes more sense. So this hand would be around one part of the shaft, and then this hand would sort of be moving it up. So this one can go really, really, really quickly, and can get someone super hard really quick, and they may feel that that's a little bit overstimulating, but then you can slow it down, and your hand is never really coming away. And so it's always having contact with the base of your hand. How does that one feel? How do you like the cuddle fist? Sounded like I was gonna punch it, but- (laughs) I do like punching dicks too. (laughs) Okay. Let's do- This one's called- So the cuddle fist, sorry. The cuddle fist also works the exact same way on a penis that is uncircumcised, and so you're either pulling the foreskin back as is comfortable, and then we're still keeping our hand attached to it. This one, actually I found, you know, you can use it when the penis is also not super erect. So if it's not super erect, I love this question around like how rough can you be with penises? So with penises that aren't erect, you can actually be a lot rougher. Like you can grab more, you can pull more, because the sensitivity isn't there yet. This is all just kind of like muscle, and when it's filled up with blood, that's where the sensitivity starts to increase. So you can try some of these techniques a little bit rougher on a penis that isn't erect, and it's not going to be painful in the same way if I came at, you know, this one like super rough. For people are who are really interested in rougher techniques, you can kind of start with a slower and then be like, "Babe, when you want me to go harder, I need you to tell me harder." Right? Or you can say, you can ask them, "Hey, like, you know, can I go harder? I kind of feel like going a little bit like rougher on you." And they will tell you when it doesn't feel good, because in the same way that if someone were to like, take teeth onto your unaroused clitoris, you're gonna tell them it's not gonna feel good. Right? Hopefully. Yes, looks looks more gentle than it sounds. Yeah, it does, it does. Looks good especially if your partner prefers focus on the head. For sure. Some people's heads are too sensitive, and they don't actually like a ton of focus. So for those people, you can- You don't really have to do cuddle fist, or you do it sort of slowly and gently. And it becomes more of like you're petting instead of like actually like dragging something. For folks that love it, you could go a little bit rougher, and remember rougher or more intense techniques with lube are less likely to cause kind of injury or pain, because the texture is mitigating the kind of muscle and the strength or the speed that you're putting into something. Okay, we have a couple more. So clasped fingers. So clasped fingers are- Let's do it on the small one again, 'cause I feel like this is unrealistic. But I'll show you it on the uncircumcised penis too. So clasped fingers are about taking the palms of your hands, so nice and lubed up. It's actually even sexy if like you warm them up or maybe you were like touching yourself first and your hands are all nice and warm, and you kind of like go over the penis and settle your palms around the shaft. And then you're gonna clasp your fingers. And so the head is gonna be popping out a little bit, or your thumbs, depending on the size of the person's penis and the size of your hands, your thumbs might be kind of nuzzling around the head of the penis, which is again, right, perfect for underneath the most sensitive parts of the penis. So the clasping, this is actually a technique of kind of encasing again, but this is a lot stronger than just having like two scissor fingers, right? So this is creating heat. This is creating pressure and this is creating this kind of consistent warmth that can make someone feel really, really excited. And so in this position, you're not making big strokes, right? I mean, if you have a giant 12 inch penis with you, maybe you're making like big strokes, but you know, with most penises, what we're doing is we're kind of like massaging without really going anywhere. And so this is a good one if you like spit, this is a good time to like spit on a penis and then kind of just like allow your fingers to massage around the head. This one, if you are- You can't do this one one-handed obviously, but let's say you're working with a penis that is smaller or is not as erect. You can still do it, right? So I'm still holding onto the penis, and instead of going up and down, maybe there's no room to do that. What I might do is go side to side. And so that side to side rolling along with the stimulation on the head can feel really, really yummy for someone. All right, so you've had twister, you had bouncing octopus, you had scissor fingers, anchor and stroke, cuddle fist, clasped fingers. And for clasped fingers on uncircumcised penises, it's actually very similar to the benefits of, of stroking, of the anchor and stroke, where we can use the foreskin. And so the foreskin actually becomes a part of the clasp. If you want to do the clasp or they want to do the clasp with their foreskin retracted, you can ask them to hold their foreskin, and then you're gonna clasp and you're gonna use the exposed part of the penis to give pleasure to. Alrighty. Oh, this poor foreskin. God, they need a version two of this dick. (laughs) Okay, well, we're done with these demos for now. We'll let it lube up over there. Maybe it just needs some time. When we're looking at one other technique that you can kind of mix in, whether it's on a uncircumcised penis or a circumcised penis, is you can kind of use your thumbs when you're in a position where you're holding or you're grasping. Or if you're grasping even with one hand, like your thumb is a different texture. So think about if you were to like suck on your thumb or a finger and then just like drag it slowly and around the penis while holding the shaft with your hand. That's a really good warmup move and it's hot as fuck, because you get to, you know, kind of like do a little bit of like a visual like "Mmm, yes, and this is like what we're gonna do tonight, right? Or like, "Mmm, I was just want to get my spit all over your penis." So that can be a way to sort of feel like that you are owning it, right? Like you're entering this intentionally. I like to use the thumbs as a little ritual. Like it's for me to be like, "Yeah, like I want to do this. Like, I'm gonna make this dick like, feel so amazing." And it allows you to kind of like find your thing to center on in all of this, in all of this hand pleasure. So I've got a couple more for you. So think about using your body in your hand jobs. And so if you- If you like, if you're a person is lying down and you want to straddle their thigh, or you want to straddle their shin, whatever's comfortable for them, and let them feel the warmth of your genitals, the warmth of between your legs on their body while you're giving them a hand job, you can also use your chest. So it doesn't actually matter what size of chest you have, but you can alternate between like having your hands and then putting your chest, resting it on their body, and kind of just like moving it over their lubed up penis. And so that looks visually delicious. If for you, if you have sensitive nipples, that's also a great way to kind of like rub your nipples on something and gyrate a little bit and get attention for yourself. So using other parts of your body can be really sexy. And someone mentioned, you know, kind of like integrating pleasure for the other parts of the body into hand jobs. Like when we learn a new skill, and this is everyone's challenge, we hyper focus on the area that we've learned the new skill about. And so this person has no other thing except for their penis. They have no other thing except for their anus. They have no other for whatever area that we're focusing on. So one thing to remember, and a way to get engaged in the rest of their body, is that when you're starting the hand job, like you've decided, they've decided it's hand job time, you're gonna make your way down to the hand job so painfully slow, right? And so that doesn't mean that you can only be sensual. Slow has nothing to do with- You can be slow and rough. You can be slow and powerful. You can be slow and submissive. You can be slow and sensual. You can be slow and sassy. You can be slow and sweet. Slowness is about creating tease for them. And when you create tease for them, they don't know exactly when you're gonna get to their hand job, and so you'll notice if you're starting to touch other parts of their body, they're already gonna start to get either erect or their breath is gonna change, or they're gonna get kind of excited, because you're allowing them an opportunity to be really present in their body because they don't know what's next. And so when you finally get down to the hand job, remember they've got inner thighs, right? Inner thighs are so sensitive. So you could drag your hands down their stomach, their, you know, lower belly around their penis, but then out their inner thighs, use your fingernails if they like that. You can kiss those areas. I love putting my face next to a penis, but I'm not gonna put it in my mouth, I'm gonna do something else. So giving that like tease, so it's like you go in and then, oh, you're like, "Oh, but look, I discovered your thighs." And then you're like, "Oh, your dick again." And then you come back to the dick. And so it gets to feel like you're creating a rhythm. It gets to feel like- Oh, it's starting to thunderstorm. I'm just gonna close my window. (laughs) And so it gets to feel like you're creating some sort of consistency in the seduction of it. And remember, this doesn't have to be like- You don't have to be like hand job heroes like every single time. Like once you start to wield that slowness and that sensation-based approach to their body, it actually just becomes something that makes you feel really sexy. You're like, "Mmm, I'm turning on my hand job hero power. I know what's coming next, right?" And when you're focused on their penis with your hands, and you're doing all these kinds of things, what you can do is when you want to pull away from that intensity of pleasure, is do a simple stroke that you're able to do, so do the bouncing octopus, take the other hand and then you can either do a perineum stroke or you can hold a vibrator against their perineum, or take the other hand and like move it up their body, just drag it all the way up their body. And all I'm doing is like massaging the head. So you could do even, you could do the cuddle fist. Oh, it's stuck to the table. You could do the cuddle fist while you're moving like this hand all the way up their body. How many of you like eye contact? Who's into eye contact? I feel like eye contact is one of the sexiest things that- Yeah, I love like- It's like eye fucking, you know? It can make you feel super shy, super awkward, but because it's so intense, right? It's so intense to be seen and to see someone. And so you could play with eye contact. That's another way to connect the rest of the body. And so you could be focusing on the penis, and then maybe you just kind of like look up a little bit, make eye contact, and then like go back down to like whatever you're doing. If you don't want to be looked at while you're trying out like the bouncing octopus or whatever, give your partner a blindfold, if they're comfortable being blindfolded. That way you don't have to be watched while you're like, "Okay, Luna said the bouncing octopus. Okay, I'm gonna try the octopus." You know? And so you can actually approach it in a way that it's about like, we're focusing on this sensation tonight. So I want to take away this sense to heighten the rest of your other senses. Okay. So that was using the rest of your body. And then I've got three more for you, but I'm just gonna check out your questions here. Looks good, especially if your partner- Okay, sorry, I read that one. Erectile tissue beyond the penis in the body. Are these also utilizing that? Yeah, so anytime that you're grasping the base of the penis, that's gonna give some stimulation into the boomerang part of the penis that's inside the body. It depends on the position, but if you're pressing against that, so if you're grasping sort of behind the balls at the base of the penis, and you're using this part of your hand to like press against the body, sometimes it presses onto their bladder, and so it can feel like they have to pee. So we want just the pressure to be in our fingers and less on against the side of their body, like pressing against their body. Alrighty. All right. Partners is, and I'm too shy. I take off my glasses during sex. That's so good, that's so good. Then you're like, "Huh, don't know what's happening. Don't know if it's hot or not, but it feels good." Because a lot of sex we've been told is like so performative. And we focus on like, "Oh, like I should look and sound a certain way in sex." When most of us actually sound a lot more guttural and primal during sex. We don't sound like uh, uh, that's porn. That's intended for us to have a particular emotion and reaction to that sound. It's sensationalized in produced porn. So for us, sometimes it's hard to get out of that, because we haven't seen real people have real sex, right? Like we're still all just kind of clumsily trying to you know, mimic those kinds of possibilities, right? Okay. And Krima, I want to answer your questions. So this is a question that might be relevant for lots of you too. So this idea of being rough and not knowing if it's okay to be rough. I think this is an opportunity to also talk about, you know, or to engage in communication. And so using that simple kind of like, "Wwell, should I like turn this up a notch? Is this good? Or do you need it like good?" And getting them to even put their hand on top of your hand and show you like how rough they like it. Remember too, that the way that they touch their bodies is not necessarily going to be the exact same recreation. We're just looking for like, hints about what direction to go. We're not looking to create their same, you know, calloused hands that they've known like since they were like five and like become their fists. Like we're actually giving them a different kind of pleasure. Then that's why, you know, it's really important for, you know, for us to maintain these sexual relationships to ourself and then have partnered sex as well. When a partner orgasms, unsure whether to stop touching them. So this one, I really- This is a really good question. So this also depends on the person. So some people like to keep the stroke going after orgasm, but slower and not on the head. And so the head becomes too sensitive after orgasm for most people. Excuse me. Especially for penises that are uncircumcised, like the head is gonna be too sensitive. So what you're doing is, let's say you're doing this, and this like makes them orgasm and your hand's like all full of jizz, what you can do is just start to like slowly stroke around here. Right? And so you're just gonna slowly stroke the shaft in sort of a gentle, not a lot of pressure and just avoid the most sensitive areas. Because it is abrupt if you're like, they come and then you're like, "Whoa!" And you just like dive out of the way and like abandon their dick. So we want to stay with the pleasure, but we don't want to add extra sensation to super sensitive areas. Okay. Definitely more primal sounds for you. Yes, me too. My partner is older and has a softer erection, so hand jobs and re-introducing him to sex, pleasure for just him, I'm into this to bring him back into pleasure. Yeah, that's awesome. That's why I like cock massages. I had a partner where I would give him a full body massage and then I would give him a cock massage, and the combination of arousing all of these other parts of his body that get ignored, so thighs and knees and shoulders and chest and backs all have a lot of nerve endings, and getting someone into that relaxed state and then giving them a cock massage for like 10 or 15 minutes or whatever's comfortable, that sometimes can contribute to full body orgasms, where they feel the orgasm in their penis, but they feel a sensation like that is orgasmic in the rest of their body. So if you are dealing with someone that has softer erections or has kind of fickle erections, that's totally fine. Hand jobs are a great place to have that, because a penis does not need to get erect for a hand job. And it is not a sign of a successful hand job that it's erect. It is you're here to kind of give this pleasure in a way that feels good for both of you. Yes, that's also a misconception that you're just trying to mimic their hand. Yeah, and I think some of us have had experiences where it feels like they're just trying to tell us how to mas- I definitely have. I've had experiences where I'm like, "Huh, so I'm just here to like, do you the way you do you, and like, this is not fun for me." Sometimes it was fun in that there were other things that made it fun, but if it sort of isolated into like, "Oh yeah, like I love jerking off. I just want you to jerk me off." You know, it depends how you feel about it. If that's sexy for you, if it feels spontaneous, if it feels giving, you feel of service, you feel like playful, do it. That's totally fine. But that shouldn't be the default narrative around hand jobs. We're not sort of just replacing their hand. We're giving a lot more intimacy and creativity into that. Okay, so I've got three more techniques for you. And so this one is a hand to mouth one. And so if your partner does like BJs, this is actually really good if your partner likes deep throating and you don't like deep throating, because porn has basically told us that deep throating is like the epitome of blow jobs, and it is not. So I just explained to you penis anatomy, right? Where is the most sensitive part of the penis? Not here. So a lot of times deep throating is around like the visual of it. It could also be around the feeling of like, kind of that encasement. And so your warm mouth, your warm throat, sort of captured around the penis. But hand jobs, hand job, hand mouth combos are a great way to kind of mimic that. And so now we know where to grasp the penis. So we're grasping on this model, I mean, I'm grasping- You can grasp behind the balls. You can grasp like around the balls. My circumcised penis doesn't have balls, but we're grasping at the base. And you can either hold onto the base and do things with your mouth and this hand where your mouth and your hand are actually a continuation of each other, so they become like a tunnel. And so your hand is going down and then your mouth is going down with it, right? And so I'm not gonna do that, 'cause I have to talk, but your mouth would go down and follow your hand. You can also create even more sensation by holding on, like covering the shaft with one hand and then using your sort of like the cuddle fist, right? So we're gonna cuddle around it and then bringing it down and again, like using your mouth. And so your hand is mainly focused on this area. You're keeping this one still, and we're just going down and kind of moving with it. Hand jobs are also fun if you're kind of doing it up this way, you can take a break. So for those of you that struggle with pacing and with like figuring out like what to do next, you're gonna do a technique long enough that you can get a rhythm and a buildup to see if it's even doing anything. And so there's no pressure. Like I wouldn't be sitting here counting, being like, "Okay, I've done this for 15 strokes. Doesn't seem to be working. Should move on." You're gonna do it for a little bit and be like, "Babe, do you like that?" And if they're like, "Oh yeah, it feels so good." Or if they're kind of like, "Mmm," and you've learned their pleasure responses. You can also decide like, 'Okay, I'm gonna switch to something else." And then if this was working better, then go back to this. Right? And so take the pressure off of yourself to be the kind of producer of the hand job. You are here to offer a hand job. You are here to offer pleasure. You're here to offer intimacy, playfulness, relaxation, connection. And so that can be the, the mixing up of the hand and the mouth, that can be a good way to have pacing as well. So you can be stroking for a bit, and then maybe I spit on it and I'm like licking around the head. Now it's all like wet again. Maybe I used flavored lube and I'm eating like a caramel latte dick. And then we're gonna like move the hand with the spit or with the lube and move it down. And so you get to kind of alternate between hand and mouth. That also helps folks that are not so crazy about blow jobs or their jaw gets tired, or they just find it overwhelming to try and do more coordinated moves. So you can do them in alternate. So do this for a bit and then maybe like lick, make it nice and wet and then do something again. Any of the lubes that I showed you are safe to ingest and they're tasteless. So they don't actually taste like anything. They're not gonna taste chemical. Or like, if you were to put some sort of medical lube in your mouth. How do we feel about hand and mouth? Do we like hand and mouth combos? I feel like they're fun. Like they help me pace a little bit, because I tend to rush through things. I'm like bouncing octopus, okay, cuddle fist. And so I like mixing doing one thing and then like doing something with my mouth and then doing something again. I find that that's pretty helpful. All right. The other two that I'm gonna talk about actually have to do with butts and prostates and then positions. But I want to mention for all of these eight that we've talked about. So you have eight techniques, but you actually have like way more than that, because any of those techniques, you can mix up with speed, with pressure, with rhythm and with direction. So all of them have these like infinite kind of combinations. You can also play with things like temperature. So if you were doing a hand/mouth combo, and you spit on the dick and you started stroking a little bit, and then you (exhales) onto it, that's gonna give it a completely different sensation. You can play with ice cubes. You can play with cooling lubes. You can play with warming lubes. I would stay away from weed lubes if you're doing hand jobs, because some weed lubes- If your partner is hypersensitive, if they, you know, two strokes and like, they've come, weed lubes are good because for penises, they actually relax the muscle. And so if someone struggles with erections already or getting hard, weed lubes are not a good idea to use on their penis. But you can use them if someone is a little bit too sensitive. You can also do that by adding a condom. That will decrease some of the sensitivity. Okay, I don't really understand what cock massage is. So it's instead of stroking, we're massaging the penis. So those techniques are more focused on massage and less focused on like milking an orgasm out of someone. So it's a change both in the technique and in the intention behind it, and so what you're trying to do. What lubes are good, more natural if you're moving from hand job to blow job? Some tastes very chemical. Caramel lube got- Yes. So Wicked, Wicked is a brand of lubes that it's safe for vulvas because- It's a safe flavored lube for vulvas. So if you want to sit on that penis afterwards, don't put anything on it that, unless you're gonna use a condom on it after, don't put anything on it that might also transfer into your body, and if you're already prone to UTIs or yeast infections, flavored lubes that have sugar or glycerin, usually it's written as glycerin in it, are not gonna be good for your body. So Wicked is actually flavored with Stevia, and so it's totally safe and they taste amazing. They don't taste like those cough syrupy kind of strawberry lubes. They taste like, I have a pink lemonade one. I ate a pink lemonade asshole, it was great. So you can use those types of lubes. You're gonna find those at sex positive sex shops. You're not gonna find them like on sort of bigger, more commercial sex brands. I have a code for you for a local feminist sex shop to save 15%. So I mean, lube is a good thing to just stock up on. I'm gonna include that in your notes for you. You liked hand/mouth. Okay, great. That's the only thing you can pace, amazing. Never thought of a direction like to the side and upward. Yeah, it's hard to get imaginative with it, because we've just seen this. Right? Like we haven't seen really anything else. Okay, so I just want to mention before we close up. Butts and prostate. So for some people, they really enjoy having the combo pleasure of a hand job and either external anal play or even a finger or a toy in their penis or in their anus. And so do you have to kind of gauge the level of comfort with your partner and have that discussion. Nobody should be touching anybody's butt until like permission and consent has been given. It's not fun to be kind of surprised. There's no such thing as surprise anal, basically. That's what our- lube is life, and there's no such thing as surprise anal. But if your partner is into butt stuff, I'm gonna show you two butt plugs that are really good to be inside. So you're looking for butt plugs that don't take up too much space inside of their body. So this is from Njoy and I'm gonna put these in your notes for you. So the Njoy butt plug, and this one is the B-Vibe butt plug. And what I like about B-Vibe is that it has a freakin' remote control. So you can put this in your partner's butt, give them the remote, and then you can focus on your hand job and they can control their butt pleasure, right? Or when they're jerking off, if they're doing a little show for you, you can hold on to the remote and control the pleasure in their butt. This also has a YouTube or an app, and so a Bluetooth app so you can connect with that as well. This one is great because it's curved in a way. So this is straighter. This is not necessarily gonna stimulate the prostate. But this is curved in a way that it would hit the prostate and provide that kind of firm pressure to it. So you could be rocking this in their penis while you're doing something, you know, with your hand, right? So you could do cuddle fist and like put this in their penis, in their anus. Why do I keep saying penis? Anus. It's 'cause it's not a butt stuff night. I'm just talking about dicks tonight. Okay. With position. So positions is another area where you can mix things up. Are there particular positions you like to give hand jobs in? Is this something- Do you like it when your partner's like lying down? Do you like it when they're standing up? Think about like, you could even come from behind and start to play with them and playing through their clothing or through their underwear is a good way to start a hand job, right? Because you're creating tease. And so maybe you're just grabbing, massaging, stroking, you know, playing with it. And then maybe you go away, and they're cooking dinner, and you're like, "Yeah, I'll see that later. You know, I'll see you in the cuddle fist later." And so thinking about like all the different ways that you can play with someone. A hand job can be given if they are on all fours. So that might be a position that they feel really sexy in and you can reach around them and or stroke between their legs and stroke their penis that way, and it's almost like you're milking a cow, but you now have techniques other than just this, right? Them standing up is also a fun one. Them sitting on a chair with their legs spread. You can also do hand jobs in a 69 position. So you could be sitting on their face, and for some people, this modified 69 is actually more fun than a regular 69, because they find it kind of intimidating or the height difference is like not good, and you just can't be on each other. So if you're kind of leaning a little bit up, but a little bit forward, and then you've maybe got one hand to balance you, and then you've got your other hand. I had a partner where I could see when his toes were starting to like curl, and I was like, "Oh yeah, we're close, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna back off because I want this to last." (laughs) So you can start to notice parts of their body, or maybe they start to react in a certain way to giving you head while they're playing. If you need stimulation too, remember, you can put toys inside you, you can hold toys against yourself. You can be in a position where they're lying down and you're on all fours, and would have your butt close to their face, and then your hands are working them and their hands are free. So their hands can reach around and touch your nipples or your genitals or your anus and give you pleasure while you're giving them pleasure. So mix up those positions. It totally keeps it interesting versus like flop and you know, like here, it's hand job time. All right, never thought of direction. Like, oh, sorry, that one I already read. Always feel like he is lying down. I want to try it with him standing up. Yes, so if you want to try it with him standing up, start to give that flirtation. Start to leave those breadcrumbs of sexiness like when he is standing up. And so when he's standing up, you could even come behind him and start to touch him and say, "You know, I would love to stroke you while you're in this position, like while you're standing up and I get to kneel down and look up at you. I think that'd be so hot." And so when we create like sexual changes or prompts or breadcrumbs outside of our sexual experiences, sometimes it's less intimidating. It's a little bit easier to communicate with all of like the hormones and the hotness happening. So that can be a fun way to kind of mix things up. All right, so I'm gonna give you- How many- Oh, I already told you a lot of the pro tips. I have two pro tips left for you. One tip is called- How many of you have heard of the technique called edging? Have you heard of edging? So edging can be done on anybody's body. Yes, yes, yes. How do we feel about edging? Do we like edging? You've heard of it? Okay, I'm gonna explain it. Amazing, you're curious, cool. Love it, okay, all right. So I love giving edging. I don't like receiving it, because I'm an instant gratification person. And so edging is about using a technique or a rhythm that is continuous, and you're taking the person to close to orgasm, but when you get to that vibration, like sometimes the penis vein will vibrate or you know their certain mode or move or sound they're making, they're about to come, or they tell you, you know, I'm gonna come soon. Then what you want to do is you back off of that pleasure that is going to take them to orgasm. So backing off doesn't mean stroke, stroke, stroke, you're about to come, and you're like, "Oh, look at my nails. I haven't done my nails yet." It means that you're gonna stroke, stroke, stroke, I'm about to come, and I slow it down. And maybe I'm gonna move to a different part of the penis that isn't as sensitive. That might also mean that I take a complete break, but I exit by like just like dragging my fingers, dragging out. Maybe I look up and make eye contact. Maybe I come back in and then, "Oh, here we are again." So what this does is it actually deepens their perception and their experience of the sensations that you're giving, because we're bringing it to an almost boiling point, but then we're letting it simmer, right? So we're not taking it over the top. This is actually the point where some people with penises can train themselves to have multiple orgasms. So in both vulvas and penises, orgasm and ejaculation are separate events. In penises, they happen seconds apart, but they are separate events. So someone of the penis could potentially ejaculate or have an orgasm without ejaculating. And so they can retain erection. They can retain their hardness without losing the ability to orgasm or the opportunity to orgasm. So it's this point of right before orgasm, where we have to learn or they have to learn it, because the way that you give a multiple is that when they're about to come, they actually have to practice this on their own first, because it's such a specific point, and they have to learn to control that point between orgasm and ejaculation. And so it's about kind of squeezing. Ugh, this one's all dried up. So it's about squeezing just under the head, and during right before ejaculation, and so that squeeze is actually gonna pinch the urethra. And so the urethra is where urine and semen comes out of. And so pinching that allows the body to experience orgasm without ejaculating. So that's like next level, right? You can tell your partner about it and tell him to try practicing what that might be like if they're masturbating, and if they can kind of like pay attention to like, what does it feel like in that moment, you know, before orgasm? They'd have to sort of tune into it and then give you information about it. And my other favorite thing. I'm actually gonna be giving away some of these in my November newsletter. So if you're not on my newsletter list, get on there. I want to give you some cock sleeves. So these are called masturbation sleeves. So you can see how on the inside they're kind of textured. They've got like ridges. And then on the outside, mine's a little bit dirty, because they do pick up a lot of like hair and stuff. So what we do with these is we put some lube on the inside and we put them over the head of the penis. I'm gonna bring you back down. And so this becomes a sleeve, so that warm, wet lube and that like textured pattern on the inside, it actually becomes like a little jerk off sleeve. So it sounds horrible. I feel we could do like ASMR with this. (squishing) (laughs) But that's also because it's on a dildo, but like on skin and on flesh, this can feel super, super good. So this is very similar to- It's basically a smaller version of like fleshlights. So those masturbation cases that people with penises can use to jerk off into. It's supposed to simulate the inside of an orifice, so an anus or a vagina. And these are usually- You can use them a few uses. You just wash them out afterwards, but they're super fun. And you can also use them on penises that are uncircumcised. So you actually put it, you can put it over and use it so it gives that sensation, or you can retract the foreskin and then use it on just like even the top of the head, right? That's even gonna make it a super fun sensation. So they're fairly inexpensive. I'm giving away this brand, this like Tenga Egg. So they're called Tenga Eggs. I'll put these in your notes as well for you. All right. The last thing I want to show you- I lied, so last thing I want to show you is cock rings. So cock rings, if your person wants to maintain a harder or a longer erection, cock rings are super great for that. They're not to be worn for more than like 20 or 30 minutes. So they trap the erection that's already in the penis. They trap that pressurized blood there a little bit longer or a little bit harder. So for hand jobs, this might be fun. So putting it on there and having a harder or a more erect penis can allow you to do things that you might not get to do, or you want to move the penis to a different stage in order to do different things. Cock rings are also usually really inexpensive. And if you get one that has like a vibrator on it, cock rings can also be magically used on everybody's body. So they can be used for fingering too. So if you have a vagina, someone can finger you with a cock ring and the vibration of it is going to stimulate the outside of your vagina, potentially your clitoris too. All right, fun times, right? Toys for penises. A lot of toys for penises. I feel like penises don't get enough attention for all of their toys. All right, so thank you everyone for being here tonight, all you hand job- Did we decide we're hand-job heroes? Is that who we are? (laughs) Okay, good, good, I'm so glad. I'm so, so glad you had a good- Yes, HJH, yes. We need like outfits. I feel like we need outfits or at least capes. I don't know. If it's not too much to ask, give me a hand job cake. Cape and cake. Okay, you get a cake too. So in your notes, I'm gonna include the lubes I talked about, the toys I talked about, and the discount code, if you don't want to wait for me and you want to go explore on your own, it's at goodforher.com and you can use LUNA15, and that will get you 15% off your purchase, everything but workshops. I'm so glad you all had such a great time. I'm really, really glad. I'm glad that you showed up tonight. I'm glad that you showed up for yourself. I hope that you can get more pleasure out of giving and these communication skills that we learned in things that are simple like hand jobs can help us when things get more complex or more unfamiliar if you're venturing into kink or you're disclosing trauma, or you're, you know, trying to deepen intimacy in some way. It's really cool to take these skills and extrapolate them into other situations where we can benefit from more communication. Thank you so much, and so what have I got coming up next? If you're not doing anything on Halloween, I'm gonna be having a costume party online and a role play. So if you're interested in role play or dirty talk, come out to that. And then I have rough sex next week. So if you're into rough sex, if you're into rougher things, I'm gonna be teaching folks how to have rough sex safely. And I'm actually, I'm gonna stop the webinar, but you guys hang out for a second. So I just want to mention before we close up. Butts and prostate. So for some people, they really enjoy having the combo pleasure of a hand job and either external anal play or even a finger or a toy in their penis or in their anus. And so do you have to kind of gauge the level of comfort with your partner and have that discussion. Nobody should be touching anybody's butt until like permission and consent has been given. It's not fun to be kind of surprised. There's no such thing as surprise anal, basically. That's what our- lube is life, and there's no such thing as surprise anal. But if your partner is into butt stuff, I'm gonna show you two butt plugs that are really good to be inside. So you're looking for butt plugs that don't take up too much space inside of their body. So this is from Njoy and I'm gonna put these in your notes for you. So the Njoy butt plug, and this one is the B-Vibe butt plug. And what I like about B-Vibe is that it has a freakin' remote control. So you can put this in your partner's butt, give them the remote, and then you can focus on your hand job and they can control their butt pleasure, right? Or when they're jerking off, if they're doing a little show for you, you can hold on to the remote and control the pleasure in their butt. This also has a YouTube or an app, and so a Bluetooth app so you can connect with that as well. This one is great because it's curved in a way. So this is straighter. This is not necessarily gonna stimulate the prostate. But this is curved in a way that it would hit the prostate and provide that kind of firm pressure to it. So you could be rocking this in their penis while you're doing something, you know, with your hand, right? So you could do cuddle fist and like put this in their penis, in their anus. Why do I keep saying penis? Anus. It's 'cause it's not a butt stuff night. I'm just talking about dicks tonight. Okay. With position. So positions is another area where you can mix things up. Are there particular positions you like to give hand jobs in? Is this something- Do you like it when your partner's like lying down? Do you like it when they're standing up? Think about like, you could even come from behind and start to play with them and playing through their clothing or through their underwear is a good way to start a hand job, right? Because you're creating tease. And so maybe you're just grabbing, massaging, stroking, you know, playing with it. And then maybe you go away, and they're cooking dinner, and you're like, "Yeah, I'll see that later. You know, I'll see you in the cuddle fist later." And so thinking about like all the different ways that you can play with someone. A hand job can be given if they are on all fours. So that might be a position that they feel really sexy in and you can reach around them and or stroke between their legs and stroke their penis that way, and it's almost like you're milking a cow, but you now have techniques other than just this, right? Them standing up is also a fun one. Them sitting on a chair with their legs spread. You can also do hand jobs in a 69 position. So you could be sitting on their face, and for some people, this modified 69 is actually more fun than a regular 69, because they find it kind of intimidating or the height difference is like not good, and you just can't be on each other. So if you're kind of leaning a little bit up, but a little bit forward, and then you've maybe got one hand to balance you, and then you've got your other hand. I had a partner where I could see when his toes were starting to like curl, and I was like, "Oh yeah, we're close, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna back off because I want this to last." (laughs) So you can start to notice parts of their body, or maybe they start to react in a certain way to giving you head while they're playing. If you need stimulation too, remember, you can put toys inside you, you can hold toys against yourself. You can be in a position where they're lying down and you're on all fours, and would have your butt close to their face, and then your hands are working them and their hands are free. So their hands can reach around and touch your nipples or your genitals or your anus and give you pleasure while you're giving them pleasure. So mix up those positions. It totally keeps it interesting versus like flop and you know, like here, it's hand job time. All right, never thought of direction. Like, oh, sorry, that one I already read. Always feel like he is lying down. I want to try it with him standing up. Yes, so if you want to try it with him standing up, start to give that flirtation. Start to leave those breadcrumbs of sexiness like when he is standing up. And so when he's standing up, you could even come behind him and start to touch him and say, "You know, I would love to stroke you while you're in this position, like while you're standing up and I get to kneel down and look up at you. I think that'd be so hot." And so when we create like sexual changes or prompts or breadcrumbs outside of our sexual experiences, sometimes it's less intimidating. It's a little bit easier to communicate with all of like the hormones and the hotness happening. So that can be a fun way to kind of mix things up. All right, so I'm gonna give you- How many- Oh, I already told you a lot of the pro tips. I have two pro tips left for you. One tip is called- How many of you have heard of the technique called edging? Have you heard of edging? So edging can be done on anybody's body. Yes, yes, yes. How do we feel about edging? Do we like edging? You've heard of it? Okay, I'm gonna explain it. Amazing, you're curious, cool. Love it, okay, all right. So I love giving edging. I don't like receiving it, because I'm an instant gratification person. And so edging is about using a technique or a rhythm that is continuous, and you're taking the person to close to orgasm, but when you get to that vibration, like sometimes the penis vein will vibrate or you know their certain mode or move or sound they're making, they're about to come, or they tell you, you know, I'm gonna come soon. Then what you want to do is you back off of that pleasure that is going to take them to orgasm. So backing off doesn't mean stroke, stroke, stroke, you're about to come, and you're like, "Oh, look at my nails. I haven't done my nails yet." It means that you're gonna stroke, stroke, stroke, I'm about to come, and I slow it down. And maybe I'm gonna move to a different part of the penis that isn't as sensitive. That might also mean that I take a complete break, but I exit by like just like dragging my fingers, dragging out. Maybe I look up and make eye contact. Maybe I come back in and then, "Oh, here we are again." So what this does is it actually deepens their perception and their experience of the sensations that you're giving, because we're bringing it to an almost boiling point, but then we're letting it simmer, right? So we're not taking it over the top. This is actually the point where some people with penises can train themselves to have multiple orgasms. So in both vulvas and penises, orgasm and ejaculation are separate events. In penises, they happen seconds apart, but they are separate events. So someone of the penis could potentially ejaculate or have an orgasm without ejaculating. And so they can retain erection. They can retain their hardness without losing the ability to orgasm or the opportunity to orgasm. So it's this point of right before orgasm, where we have to learn or they have to learn it, because the way that you give a multiple is that when they're about to come, they actually have to practice this on their own first, because it's such a specific point, and they have to learn to control that point between orgasm and ejaculation. And so it's about kind of squeezing. Ugh, this one's all dried up. So it's about squeezing just under the head, and during right before ejaculation, and so that squeeze is actually gonna pinch the urethra. And so the urethra is where urine and semen comes out of. And so pinching that allows the body to experience orgasm without ejaculating. So that's like next level, right? You can tell your partner about it and tell him to try practicing what that might be like if they're masturbating, and if they can kind of like pay attention to like, what does it feel like in that moment, you know, before orgasm? They'd have to sort of tune into it and then give you information about it. And my other favorite thing. I'm actually gonna be giving away some of these in my November newsletter. So if you're not on my newsletter list, get on there. I want to give you some cock sleeves. So these are called masturbation sleeves. So you can see how on the inside they're kind of textured. They've got like ridges. And then on the outside, mine's a little bit dirty, because they do pick up a lot of like hair and stuff. So what we do with these is we put some lube on the inside and we put them over the head of the penis. I'm gonna bring you back down. And so this becomes a sleeve, so that warm, wet lube and that like textured pattern on the inside, it actually becomes like a little jerk off sleeve. So it sounds horrible. I feel we could do like ASMR with this. (squishing) (laughs) But that's also because it's on a dildo, but like on skin and on flesh, this can feel super, super good. So this is very similar to- It's basically a smaller version of like fleshlights. So those masturbation cases that people with penises can use to jerk off into. It's supposed to simulate the inside of an orifice, so an anus or a vagina. And these are usually- You can use them a few uses. You just wash them out afterwards, but they're super fun. And you can also use them on penises that are uncircumcised. So you actually put it, you can put it over and use it so it gives that sensation, or you can retract the foreskin and then use it on just like even the top of the head, right? That's even gonna make it a super fun sensation. So they're fairly inexpensive. I'm giving away this brand, this like Tenga Egg. So they're called Tenga Eggs. I'll put these in your notes as well for you. All right. The last thing I want to show you- I lied, so last thing I want to show you is cock rings. So cock rings, if your person wants to maintain a harder or a longer erection, cock rings are super great for that. They're not to be worn for more than like 20 or 30 minutes. So they trap the erection that's already in the penis. They trap that pressurized blood there a little bit longer or a little bit harder. So for hand jobs, this might be fun. So putting it on there and having a harder or a more erect penis can allow you to do things that you might not get to do, or you want to move the penis to a different stage in order to do different things. Cock rings are also usually really inexpensive. And if you get one that has like a vibrator on it, cock rings can also be magically used on everybody's body. So they can be used for fingering too. So if you have a vagina, someone can finger you with a cock ring and the vibration of it is going to stimulate the outside of your vagina, potentially your clitoris too. All right, fun times, right? Toys for penises. A lot of toys for penises. I feel like penises don't get enough attention for all of their toys. All right, so thank you everyone for being here tonight, all you hand job- Did we decide we're hand-job heroes? Is that who we are? (laughs) Okay, good, good, I'm so glad. I'm so, so glad you had a good- Yes, HJH, yes. We need like outfits. I feel like we need outfits or at least capes. I don't know. If it's not too much to ask, give me a hand job cake. Cape and cake. Okay, you get a cake too. I hope that you can get more pleasure out of giving and these communication skills that we learned in things that are simple like hand jobs can help us when things get more complex or more unfamiliar if you're venturing into kink or you're disclosing trauma, or you're, you know, trying to deepen intimacy in some way. It's really cool to take these skills and extrapolate them into other situations where we can benefit from more communication. Thank you so much, and so what have I got coming up next? If you're not doing anything on Halloween, I'm gonna be having a costume party online and a role play. So if you're interested in role play or dirty talk, come out to that. And then I have rough sex next week. So if you're into rough sex, if you're into rougher things, I'm gonna be teaching folks how to have rough sex safely. And I'm actually, I'm gonna stop the webinar, but you guys hang out for a second.