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Ejaculation Mastery Online Course:
Orgasm Control for Penis Owners

Eyal Matsliah
Sexual Empowerment Coach
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About This Course

Ready to unlock the secret to prolonged pleasure? With Ejaculation Mastery, you’ll learn how to last longer in bed with easy-to-follow video lessons, practical exercises, and advice from a world-renowned expert.

What You Will Learn

  1. The five aspects of lasting longer
  2. Practical tools to take control of ejaculation
  3. Tips on involving your partner
  4. How to achieve multiple orgasms

Take This Course and Hundreds More

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Taught by the world’s top experts.

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Quick results & easy-to-follow instructions.

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For everyone. Singles, couples, all genders and orientations.

Your Instructor

Eyal Matsliah

Sexual Empowerment Coach

Eyal Matsliah, a transformative Sexual Empowerment Coach, guides you in harnessing your sexual energy for personal growth. His practical Tantra teachings challenge outdated norms, offering a fresh lens through which to view sex and sexuality.

More by This Instructor

Lessons and Classes

Total length:
more than 180 min
  1. 1. Introduction
  2. 2. The Five Aspects of Lasting Longer
  3. 3. The Integrated Transformation Model
  4. 4. The WHY
  5. 5. The Big List of WHYs
  6. ​​6. Excerpts of Live Workshops
  7. 7. The Point of No Return
  8. 8. Self-Pleasuring as a Practice
  9. 9. Edging
  10. 10. The Missing Piece
  11. 11. Basic Ways to Move Your Energy
  12. 12. Using Breath to Move Your Energy
  13. 13. Kegels and Muscle Squeeze
  14. 14. Edging and Moving
  15. 15. Uddiyana Bandha’s Abdominal Suction Technique
  16. 16. The Fire Breath
  17. 17. The Big Draw
  18. 18. The Microcosmic Orbit
  19. 19. Using Your Mind to Move Your Energy
  20. 20. Even More Techniques to Move Your Energy
  21. 21. Why Is This So Challenging
  22. 22. Dealing With “Accidents”
  23. 23. What do I do when I’m soooo horny
  24. 24. Dealing with wet dreams
  25. 25. 20 Mistakes to Avoid
  26. 26. FAQ
  27. 27. Dealing With Your Partner
  28. 28. How to Have Longer, Awesome, Sex
  29. 29. Karezza the Power of the Subtle Technique
  30. 30. Tantric Sex
  31. 31. How Women Can Help
  32. 32. The Multi-Orgasmic Man

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Welcome to the Ejaculation Control Program. I congratulate you for taking the step in investing in yourself, in your masculinity, in your sex life, your relationship, and your mission. This program is going to change your life. So I really welcome you to follow the program. You are welcomed read the text, to watch the videos, but not just that, I welcome you to do the exercises. The exercises are a really important part of the program. And I also welcome you to follow that in the order that I created that and that would give you a step-by-step journey to follow in order to get the best results from this program. There might be some things in this program which might be a little bit different, maybe a little bit strange or weird. I welcome you to be open to these ideas and to these practices and to try them, okay? It doesn't cost anything. You can just try them and see how they work for you. And kind of like the stuff that doesn't work for you, park that on the back of your your mind on a shelf somewhere and just use it whenever you need to or consider it later. Really give this a try, because this has worked for me, this has worked for my students and my clients. And you would see that it's not just about sex, it's about allowing yourself to be special, allowing yourself to be different. So some things are special, some techniques are special. Just try them and see how that works. I'm going to share with you via videos, presentations, and text files, a lot of the stuff in this program. And you're also welcome to gain support from the Facebook group, okay? You can be supported by me and other people in the program, in the Facebook group. So again, welcome to the program. I really congratulate you for taking this step and I'm going to see you very soon. - As you're starting this program, the first thing to know about, is the model that I've created. And this is called The Five Aspects of Lasting Longer. And this model is gonna to serve you and guide you on this journey of lasting longer and changing your life with this practice. This model is based on ancient tantric teachings that I've studied at Tantra yoga school that I've attended for many years, books, programs, and so on that I've read and watched. It's based on my own experience, 15 years, over 15 years actually, of doing this. It's based on like I said, tantra and yoga studies, and also experienced with hundreds of women who are lovers, students, private clients, and friends, and shared with me, did these experiences and also with my men friends and teachers. This is also based on my coaching modalities that I've studied. And this is, what I've done, is take stuff, which is fragmented, and all over the place, found in some books and some programs in some schools, and I've just made it into a really coherent, easy to understand, easy to follow an implement model. So, the five aspects of lasting model are, why, feel, stop, move, and transform. We're gonna go really deep into them into each of them in this program. I just wanna give you a really brief overview. So you know, kind of like where you're at, you know what to expect. The question with the Why, is why do you wanna last longer? And what would it give you? And the idea is that the stronger your why, the longer you last. Knowing your why, is that there's a few aspects to that. And that's why do you ejaculate? Why coming too fast doesn't serve you, your partner and your mission. And then why, and how, lasting longer could transform your life. There's three main aspects of lasting of, sorry, of the why, which are pleasure, love, and power. And we're gonna go really, really deep into them later. The second, third and fourth aspects are feel, stop and move. Feel is about feeling how aroused you are, we're gonna talk about the point of no return. And if you've already heard about this concept of point of no return, I'm gonna share with you, kinda like the deeper way to look at the point of no return, and maybe, something different and, that will serve you more than what you've read found out there. And also, we will be talking about riding the wave. The idea with the stop aspect of the model, is again, very, very, very important aspect that many men miss, and, we're gonna talk about how to stop, how to know when to stop, and so on. So there's practices, in sex, during sex, and also those practices I'm gonna share with you outside of sex, daily practices. The fourth aspect is really the missing piece for most books and programs out there. And it's actually the essence of lasting longer. It's the aspect is gonna help you to last as longer as you want. And there's also the idea that different practices for different people. The fifth aspect, the fifth element, is transform. And the idea is that, this practice will transform your life. So, transform your life to support your practice. We're gonna talk about how to have Tantric Sex. We're gonna talk about daily, weekly, monthly practices. We're gonna talk about lifestyle changes, that support your practice. And also, something that I'm really passionate about, which is how to take the practice to the next level. So, these are the five aspects of lasting longer, why, feel, stop, move, and transform. And I'm looking forward to share with you learn more about these practices. See you soon. - [Narrator] Before we get into the program, I'd like to share with you the Integrated Transformation Model which is something very crucial in my work with people with students and coaches, students, or in coaching clients. So there's, there's a problem there's a few issues with current approaches, therapy, healing personal development fields are fragmented. So therapist might work on the psychological level but all other levels are not dealt with and some of the works with wellness, with diet and wouldn't deal with the person's limiting belief wouldn't deal with the with the life situation and so on. So there's also lack of lack of systems and structures. Sometimes there's too much theory. And sometimes there's, there's too many practices which means that, you know what the person is doing stuff but they don't really understand what they're doing. And what I also see is it's too much focus on either the individual or the provider. What I have developed this Integrated Transformation Model it starts with full personal responsibility. So you doing this program, you are taking full personal responsibility over your ejaculation control, over your sex life, over your orgasms. And this is where it all starts. It has both theory and practices, this model and the idea is that you need to have a reference. You need to have a model. You need to understand kind of like the general general picture. And you also need the practices in order to embody that in. So it doesn't just stay as theory. And also what it contains is an integration with other aspects of your life. So it's not just a sexual practice I sometimes say that sexuality is not just about sex. And if you're in this program, you know you know, my really, really big message which is this thing can change your life and you need to integrate it with other things that you do. It's mostly done by you and there's also some help from others. And main parts of the model the main aspects of the model, there are reflect, know, embody, transform and receive. Reflect means that you are reflecting on where you at. What is your it's, it's like it's second inquiry. It's a self inquiry. I will ask you certain questions throughout the program to see where, where are you at. Why do you ejaculate? Why do you choose to ejaculate? Why did you choose to do this program? Okay, why, why, what is your big, why? And what is your connection with your body with your masculinity, with femininity and so on? So reflection allows you to to understand the reasons and the tendencies that you have. The second aspect is know. And know is knowing, studying learning about sexuality, about your body about sexual practices, tantra, sexual energy, and so on. So this, this is the theory part. And number three, embody is the practice is actually you take it from theory into your own body, your own experience, your own life. And both of them both two and three are really important to both know the practices and also to do them to know the theory and do the practices. The fourth aspect of the Integrated Transformation Model is transform. And this is the idea that in order to really see results in your life you need to change to transform some aspects of your life. When you watch the video about my model for ejaculation control on how to last a lot longer, how to last longer you would see the transform is also there. So this practice would transform your life. So transform your life to support your practice. And you will notice that number one, two, three, four reflect, know, embody and transform our stuff that you do by yourself. And there's also number five is receive. And this is the idea that some things you still need to receive from others. So right now you see you receiving some guidance from me. So you're not just doing this by yourself. You're receiving guidance. You might wanna work with a coach with a sexual coach, with an NLP practitioner. Maybe you would see a therapist. Maybe you would see somebody would help you with, with yoga like a yoga instructor or other kinds of professionals. So it's important. Maybe you would also receive from your, from your partner. Okay, so I talk a lot about personal responsibility but one of the aspects of the program coming up is what your partner can do to support you. So you can still be supported by, by your partner but as you would see, the, the, the big part the majority of this program, or this approach is about you taking full personal responsibility. So this is the Integrated Transformation Model just in a few words, and I'll see you in the next video. - [Narrator] Now that you've starting the ejaculation control program, we are going into one of the most important aspect and honestly, one of my favorites as well. So this is about finding your why. So just to remind you the structure of the program is finding your why, feeling, stopping, moving and transforming. These are the five steps to lasting longer. So today we're talking about the why. So when you're talking about finding your why this is one of the missing pieces from a lot of books in schools and teachers, people were talking about ejaculation control out there. I hardly ever see the why. So people are like, you know, squeeze this and breathe like that, and think about football or whatever, you know, silly advices like that. And nobody talks about the why. Nobody looks deeper into the why. So I think this is important. This is a mindset approach. So it's not just a technique approach, it's a mindset approach. So if you have the right mindset it'll be easier for you to last longer and basically to do anything in your life if you have the right mindset. The why is a technique by itself. So, you know, sometimes I talk with people and they go like, okay, you know, tell us the techniques what's the point of no return and what do I squeeze and how do I move the energy and so on. But finding your why is a technique because the stronger your why, the easier it becomes to control your ejaculation and to last longer. The why also support when it gets challenging. So, you know, I'm not saying that it's have to be challenging, but sometimes for some men, yeah, there might be some points of challenge. And the why reminds you why you're doing this. Talking about the why and doing this exercise gives you an insight into yourself. Who you are, why ejaculate, why do you choose to have sex? And also it's connecting your sexuality to your life's purpose. So I really love this aspect. I really love this part. So really pay attention in this presentation, this is going to get deep and I promise you it's gonna be worth it. So the why is related to the first part of my integrated transformation model which is reflect. And reflect is about reflecting, like I just mentioned, about your reasons and also reflecting on your limiting beliefs and your tendencies. And later, we're gonna talk about what you need to know and practices and so on. So, just to really bring this message home the stronger your why, the longer you last. The stronger your why, the longer your last. This is, I've heard it from my private clients that I've worked with. This has been true for me. When I lost my why, I was ejaculating much more frequently. It was much more difficult for me to hold off. If you are aware of Simon Sinek or Simon Sinek, he talks about, again, start with why and the moment you have your why, the how and the what kind of like take care of themselves or become much easier. So again, this is not just my idea. There are really amazing people out there who are building whole careers in helping corporations with this methodology. So starting with the why, I'd like to ask how long do you last on average? You know, so sometimes you'll last longer, sometimes you last, you know, shorter, and (clears throat) what is the average that you last? And are you suffering from premature ejaculation or are you just trying to last longer? So just to reflect on that for a moment. Are you suffering from premature ejaculation? Are you doing this program because you're suffering from premature ejaculation or are you just trying to last longer? So, before we get into this question and its answer, I wanna see what is fast. So the average male lasts anything between three to five minutes, okay? So most men in the world from the moment of penetration to the moment of ejaculation last three to five minutes. And you're probably aware already that it's not really enough to satisfy your partner, not nearly enough to satisfy most women and to get them to experience really really deep orgasms. Premature ejaculation is defined as lasting less than two minutes, and according to some other scientists, less than one minute, okay? So three to five minutes is the average and less than two minutes is premature ejaculation. Now I have a different definition. My definition is premature ejaculation is cumming before both partners are ready for it. Premature ejaculation just to repeat, is cumming before both you and your partner are ready for it and unconsciously choosing it. So this I hope gives you another reason, another why to really go serious with this practice, really go serious with this program. Because actually what I believe and what I chatted with a few women and they agree with me, you know, most of the time the woman is not ready for her partner to cum, okay? So you might actually have at sometimes some sessions that you make love, you're actually having premature ejaculation. You thought that 10 minutes is great but if your woman want you to last longer, and you're not, this is a premature ejaculation. So you're doing this program in order to learn how to last longer. So this is giving you another why to do this. Another question to ask is, why do you have sex? Okay? Just think about it for a second, why do you have sex? And also, why do you ejaculate at the end of sex? And while talking with men about this and while researching this, there's a few reasons that men choose to ejaculate. The first one is pleasure, okay? So obviously there's some pleasure in ejaculation, it's usually something between five seven seconds for men. So the organism actually lasts, for most men, five to seven seconds. So obviously there's some pleasure there. Another thing that men really share about why they ejaculate is there's a sense of release, there's a sense of peace. Sometimes, you know, they feel horny. Sometimes they feel stressed and what they do is they ejaculate, they usually masturbate and ejaculate or have sex and ejaculate, and this gives them some momentary peace. And we're gonna get to it later that it's, you know it's not as easy as it looks like and it's not as simple as it looks like, it's not necessarily peace, but for now, let's assume that receive some kind of release and peace from ejaculating. Some men and also someone women say that it gives them a sort of connection with their partner. So when they ejaculate, after the orgasm there's a sense of connection. And obviously men ejaculate in order to make babies. And sometimes in order to make a baby, you need to ejaculate more than once. So that's, I would say there the most justified reason to ejaculate is in order to make babies. So there's deeper reasons that men ejaculate. So these are kind of like the really obvious reasons, pleasure, connection, release and babies. And there's also some deeper reasons. The first reason is evolutionary. So we are programmed by evolution, our bodies are programmed to ejaculate as fast as possible. Our bodies are programmed to ejaculate in order to procreate, in order to make babies. And, you know, 10,000, 20,000, 50,000 years ago when we were in the Savannah and there were wild animals around us, and we had to hunt and to pick fruits and whatever, we really didn't have time to have tantric sex for one hour. So, evolutionary we are programmed to ejaculate and to ejaculate as fast as possible. Ejaculation is natural, you know, there's nothing wrong about that. And there's nothing wrong about, you know, if you sometimes ejaculate, you know, within a few minutes, it's not wrong, it's what your body is programmed to do but this program and what I'm doing with clients and my message is about going beyond your programming, going beyond societal programming and evolutionary programming. So yeah, talking about society, another reason that men ejaculate is that they're programmed by society, by media and by porn to do so. So any porn, movie that you've seen, any porn clip that you see, nearly every clip that you see usually includes, you know, cum shots, money shots, ejaculation shots. I don't know about you but when I was having sex and ejaculating, I used to really like to ejaculate inside my partner. And for some reason, porn really shows the white stuff being, you know, shot over women's, you know, faces and bellies and breasts and what and backs and whatnot. So there's this infatuation with ejaculation in porn. And even if you don't watch porn, there's kinda like a societal status quo, there's a understanding that you have to ejaculate when you have sex. It's kinda like a bonus of the program. I didn't tell you about this before and you don't have to do this, but this program is gonna teach you not just to last longer, but to relate to your ejaculation in a whole different way and maybe even minimize your ejaculation. And, you know, before you jump out of the seat and you know, stop the video, listen to the rest of this video and you would learn that this would serve you more than anything that you've done sexually. And also it's your choice. So you can do this program and you can just last longer, and that's great and you can choose to ejaculate or you can choose to ejaculate a bit less often. Much more about this later. Another reason that men ejaculate and usually ejaculate fast is their teenagehood experiences. So I remember when I was a teenager and I started masturbating, I would masturbate in the shower and my mom would knock on the door and she would say, Eyal, are you okay? Do you need a rescue operation there? Have you drowned? You know, so I was there pleasuring myself and I couldn't make sounds and I had to cum as fast as possible, you know, otherwise my mom would knock. There's also another reason, which is men sometimes try to last longer but they lose control over their ejaculation. There's is even more reasons. And the reasons are what sometimes is called in psychology, secondary gains. Secondary gains means sometimes you do something that you know that it's not so good for you but you do it because it gives you something. So for example, smokers, and if you're a smoker, there's no judgment, it's just an observation, smokers sometimes say, oh, I can not stop smoking because it gives me, I can take a break during my work or I can connect with people both men and women over a cigarette, you know, it's like it's a social thing it gives me something to do. I used to be a smoker, so I know all of, I experienced all of this stuff. So what are the secondary gains in ejaculation? Some men, I'm not saying this as you again I'm just saying some men, use ejaculation to avoid emotional depth and connection. Because the longer you make love, kind of like the deeper you connect, there's a deeper emotional connection. So some men just choose to blow their load in order not to feel, not to connect, not to open up, not to be vulnerable. It's also an excuse for failure. So men sometimes feel like failures anyway and there's like a vicious circle where they feel like failures and then their failure is in bed and they tell themselves, oh, I'm failure in bed, so of course I'm a failure in life. And it's kind of like using an excuse not to go to the next stage, not to really live their mission. Not really to share their gift. It's like, oh, I'm feeling like a failure, so I cannot do all of that. It's like it's a way to give yourself small and disempowered. Cumming too fast, it's like yeah, connected to the failure feeling I mentioned. So I would ask you, what are your secondary gains? And I know it sounds a bit crazy sometimes some of the things I'm saying, but it's like ask yourself, if unconsciously you are maybe choosing to cum too fast and as we mentioned earlier, it's like cumming too fast is basically before your partner is ready and choosing that. So what are you gaining there, okay? What are you gaining out of cumming too fast? There's also another aspect, which is that ejaculation is an addiction for most people, okay? Most men, many men need to ejaculate once a day, every few days, otherwise they go crazy. There's a element of addiction there. Anything that you can not stop for 30 days or 60 days apart from the really basic necessities of life is an addiction. Porn is an addiction and for most men porn and ejaculation are hand in hand, so to speak, as an addiction. And I would share resources later in this program about some scientific evidence about this and also what to do about porn addiction. And most men ejaculate because they don't know there's an alternative. Or they cum too fast because they don't know they can do something about that. So, just to mention something that I would go much deeper into later in the program, which is ejaculation is not the same as orgasm. So you can have ejaculation with very little pleasure and very little orgasm. And (speaking faintly) (drumming) You can have orgasm without ejaculation. So this is not the main focus of this program but it will help you to become multi-orgasmic. It will help you to experience a lot of pleasure without ejaculating. And this is what I mentioned earlier, that is not just about lasting longer. Kind of like the surprise here, the really big revelation here is that this is possible and we gonna get there later. So we are talking about, again, the why. This is the why, the first aspect of the five step model to lasting longer. And something that I'm gonna repeat a few times which is the stronger your why, the longer your last. So ask yourself now, if your why is a bit stronger and if it's a bit stronger, would that help you to last a bit longer specifically when you would learn the techniques in the next section? So sexuality isn't just about sex. And what we're doing now is giving you understandings and tools to empower you in your sexuality. And not just in your lovemaking but outside in your life. So we're gonna look a little bit at the bigger picture not just at your sex to see why you are choosing to ejaculate and why it doesn't serve you necessarily. So if you often cum before you would like to, ask yourself, what effects do you feel on your relationship? So if you usually cum too fast, how does that affect your relationship? How does that affect your partner? But what kind of relationship issues are you having because of your sex life? How does that affect your mission and your career? You know it's like feel either if you're an employee or if you have your own business, specifically if you have your own business, do you feel an effect, you know, of your connection with your colleagues, your clients, associates and if you are at, if you're an employee with your bosses and so on. What effects do you feel on your physical, mental and emotional health and wellbeing? So if you're cumming too fast, your probably aware it's not just about that moment and you know, maybe feeling a little bit frustrated, but many men that I'm talking with coming to me for advice as a coach, you know, tell me about suffering, about feeling like failures in life, feeling that they can not do anything and that's all related to them, controlling their masculinity. How confident do you feel around both men and women because you're cumming too fast? And again, cumming too fast is before both you and your partner choose to. And how does that affect your spiritual practice? You know that can be a religious practice, that can be your meditation practice, whatever your spiritual practice is, you probably know that there's many traditions that talk about not cumming so much, and I'm not talking about, you know, a Christian Judaic Christian guilt and shame, I'm talking about the realization that cumming too fast and too much affect your spiritual practice. So let's go deeper into finding your why. And as we are talking about finding your why, let's talk about why not to ejaculate or at least why not to ejaculate too fast. So when you ejaculate too fast, obviously, and again excuse me for stating the obvious, sometimes you have short and unsatisfying sex. Short and unsatisfying sex, both for you and your partner, okay? I'm sure most men that I talk with would love to last longer. So the next one is inability to pleasure your partner. And if you've read my book, "Orgasm Unleashed: Your guide to pleasure, healing and power," if you read some of my articles, you would know that women need, you know, some time in order to experience G-spot orgasm and cervical orgasms, and whole body orgasms and so on. So, if you really wanna pleasure your partner specifically with your cock, it's like you would want to last longer. So that's another reason. When you ejaculate, you obviously lose erection and talking a lot about non genital sex is great, and non penetrative sex is great, and non-friction sex is great, but you know sometimes it's really good to have a hardcore okay and to penetrate your partner. And after you ejaculate, you know, most men after the age of 30 or 40 cannot get it up so fast. And I'm over 40 now, so yeah, I definitely experienced that in the very few times that I ejaculated. And is not just the loss of erection, there's a loss of desire. So a moment earlier, you're like she was, your partner was the most, you know, attractive, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, whatever person, and suddenly after you ejaculated, it's like, oh, I love you but I wanna check my Facebook feed. Oh, I love you but wanna turn around and go to sleep. And even if you still pleasure her with your fingers or your mouth or whatever, it's kind of like, you're doing it as an obligation. You're feeling like, oh, like let's tick the box get there off and then we can finish this. There's other reasons, yes there's more. And as long as ejaculation is part of your lovemaking it's like, it's a goal oriented sex and many women say that they feel that it's all focused around that moment when you're going to ejaculate. So, it's like before that you're doing something for them, but you need your fix, you need the ejaculation. When you ejaculate, it also creates some emotional and mental numbness. And again, some men listening to this maybe don't experience some of these effects and there's always one out of 10 or one out of 20 men in my workshops that say, oh, I don't experience this, but most men do experience this. So after men ejaculate there's kind of like a numbness. Sometimes for some men it's considered pleasurable. You know, there's a sense of peace and relaxation. But if you're really aware of, you know, your level of consciousness, you're aware that it's not necessarily peace and relaxation. It's more like a numbness feeling. I personally don't like to be numb. There's frustration, sadness and even depression related to ejaculation. And it's not just about ejaculating too fast, as that some men feel that they lose energy, they lose their mojo, they lose something when they're ejaculating. So there's, definitely some men experience this frustration sadness and even depression. And when you look into the hormonal changes that happen because of ejaculation, it creates a process that lasts anything between one week and two weeks. And during these two weeks, the hormones in your body are going crazy and neurotransmitters are shifting in your brain and there is again some men who experience depression because of that. Yeah, still more. So there's a loss of connection with your partner. And again, in the other resources in this ejaculation control program you would see excerpts of live workshops that I've held, and you would hear women talking about this. And sometimes men try to pretend that they're still connected and they're still, you know, feeling one with their partner, but after most men ejaculate there is some loss of connection with your partner and women can feel that. There's also some things that I mentioned, already there's tiredness, there's sleepiness, there's loss of energy and vitality. And even I've heard from even some men who are at their early twenties, who already felt the effects of ejaculation. So they would say, you know, it's like it was hurting their studies, they couldn't drive after, you know, if they ejaculated once or twice, it was really difficult for them to drive. They couldn't function the next day, and really it's like, it's really important to understand this is not just about the moment of sex. The moment that you are able not to ejaculate for a few days, you will be aware of what's the new levels of energy that you're able to experience. And even deeper aspect is loss of masculine presence and direction. So I'm a very big believer that as men, we need to cultivate our presence. We need to give direction to ourselves and also to others who are willing to receive that direction from us. And when you ejaculate you lose some of that masculine presence and direction. You are less able to act on your mission. So I'd like to ask you at this point, what effects you resonate with? What do you feel in your life? What effects do you feel in your life? And what inspires you to take action? And again, we are constantly finding another reason another why, you know, that you not just to do this program, but really to practice ejaculation control, really go deeper into this. My mission here is to empower you, not just to make love longer, but to be the best lover and the best men that you can be for yourself and for others. So really what inspires you to take action? So continuing With the why, why do you even wanna last longer? Okay? What would it give you if you last longer? And you know, don't worry about, you know, if you last longer or if you control your ejaculation for a few days, it's like, why do you even wanna last longer? Okay, so just feel free to pause the video if you want for a few seconds, for a minute and just write it down in your journal and see what comes up. What are all the reasons for you to last longer? So, I found that there are three general reasons to last longer. And these are pleasure, love and power. Going deeper into them, the first aspect of pleasure is your pleasure. And the idea of your pleasure is that with this program you are learning to separate ejaculation from orgasm, so you're learning to experience long orgasmic states and different kinds of pleasure, different kinds of orgasmic state. You are able to become multi-orgasmic after some time of practicing this. And you know some men will get this faster, some men will take some more time, but you will see that you are already able to experience different kinds of orgasms, different kinds of pleasure states. And also the pleasure states stays throughout the day when you're able specifically not to ejaculate. You feel pleasure throughout the day, you feel erection throughout the day, you feel that there's that pressure you in your body. It's difficult to explain that, but it's like, because you don't get depleted after you ejaculate, the pleasure stays in your body. The second aspect of the pleasure is her pleasure. And as I mentioned earlier, five minutes, even 10 minutes sometimes even 20 minutes or half an hour, sometimes it isn't enough for women to experience deep orgasms, to experience cervical, G-spot, whole body orgasms. When you're able to control your ejaculation, you're able to stay much longer inside her. And that by itself is pleasurable. And you know, sometimes I am an orgasm coach and I've literally written the book about female orgasms, but I'm saying that sometimes it's about the pleasure her pleasure of having you inside her, regardless of orgasm. Another aspect of the why, is the pleasure of witnessing. The pleasure of experiencing her, you know? So witnessing a woman, experiencing a woman in her pleasure in her surrender while you're connecting to her, while you're inside her, for me, this is like a reason to make love even if I don't experience pleasure, even if I don't have multiple orgasms, you know, it's like just being able to be inside her for an hour or two and, you know, continuous lovemaking, slow lovemaking, you know, intense lovemaking whatever, in all of the expressions of the feminine is just so mind blowing and so heart opening and so satisfying by itself. You know I would sometimes joke with my partners, you know, I would be inside of them and I would say it's like, I can't stop right now, I don't need to ejaculate, I can't stop right now because I'm so satisfied by witnessing you, by looking at you, by hearing you, by feeling you, okay? So, I know maybe for some people it might sound a little bit whoa whoa but when you deepen your lovemaking your life will deepen as well. Yes, talking about deepening, the second aspect of why last longer, you know, why control your ejaculation is love. And specifically, you know, looking at the idea that longer sex is deeper, as I've mentioned earlier. It's not just about, you know, if you usually last for five minutes and suddenly you last for 15 minutes, it's not five minutes plus five minutes plus five minutes and so on equals 15, the sex become deeper. There's deeper feelings, there's deeply emotions. There's a different and deeper experience there. When you're able to last longer, when you're able to control your ejaculation, satisfy your partner and specifically even delay your ejaculation for a few days you'll deepen your relationship because you signal to your partner, I'm having sex with you not just for my ejaculation, but for deeper reasons. And then flat love flows into other areas of your life. It's not just about the sex, okay? It's like you're being filled with this pleasure energy with this love energy, with this life energy that suddenly flows into everything that you do in your life. And the next aspect that I wanna talk about which is, again, (chuckles) we're gonna talk a lot about this one, about the aspect of power. And you know, I talk about intimate power and power is something that I'm really passionate about because I'm feeling that many men have lost contact with their power. Women also have lost contact with the power. There's what's called the tall poppy syndrome, when we are told by society to fit in and to be the same as others and not to stand out too much. So, I am very passionate about power and I'm very passionate about empowering people. So this program is my way of empowering people. So we're gonna go really really deep into power. Power is such an important aspect that we actually gonna talk about it in a separate video. So see below for the next video in this why section, this really important why section. - [Instructor] This video is about the, Why aspect? And I've decided to dedicate a separate video to the aspect of power. I think this is very important aspect for us as men to embrace. And we gonna talk about this in all of them, all of the different aspects, which are related to power as well. So, (clears throat) so there's the power of the orgasm, and the power of the orgasm means that once you've done the chocolate, you learn how to become multiple orgasmic, have different kinds of orgasms. And those orgasms gives you power. So if ejaculation is robbing you off some of your vital power, the ability to, to avoid ejaculation or at least as I mentioned you can choose to ejaculate instead of every day, do it every, every week or every two weeks. This would still give you a little bit more power than usual. So, so there's a, there's a lot of power especially when you're having tantric sex, for, for some time, you're generating a lot of energy. This is, this is giving you a lot of the power to your life. This directly translates to physical power, vitality and sexual virility. So you will be able to get it up and keep it up. Some men who are having issues with erectile dysfunction are having these issues because they are coming to, too often. So once you are able to hold your seat, to hold your semen you would find that you, you have more erections. I heard it from one of my partners that said that I got erected faster and more, more frequently than other partners that she's been with. So it gives you a physical power as well gives you, gives you vitality. And you probably know that athletes are requested, suggested not to have sex before a big match. Okay? So they, they, they know about this. The science world knows about this as well. So ejaculation robs you of your vital energy. So when you don't ejaculate, or at least when you wait a few weeks in between ejaculations you really become stronger, become more vital. You have better health and immune system. So there's, there's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of minerals and hormones and nutrients that you are losing through ejaculation. So when you are stopping yourself from ejaculating when you are minimizing the, the ejaculation throughout the week and the month, you actually conserving your energy and boosting your immune system. I don't know if that is the reason, but you know, that's what I hardly ever get ill. And if I do get ill, it's usually much, (clears throat) much lighter much easier than other people around me. Okay. So, so I attribute that also to my ejaculation control practice. Another thing which is very important. And I'm going to be talking about this in the, in the next points under the, the Why, my presentation is willpower. I think that nowadays men have become a little bit too weak. And, you know, we have the soft new age guy and, you know, very feminine connected to his emotions and so on, which is great. I think it's great to be connected to your emotions but what I see men have lost is they lost their, they lost their center. They lost their masculinity. They lost the ability to go out there and reach for goals and to, to achieve goals and so on. And I think willpower is, is in the basis of that, practicing ejaculation control, resisting the natural evolutionary urge to ejaculate would increase your willpower. Okay, this is, this is a way to start with you. So before you get, before you try to help a million people before you try to make a million dollars before you try to do anything external, starts with yourself. This is a beautiful practice to boost your, your willpower. (button clicks) That, that willpower is also aspect connected to the aspect of control. So when you are able to control your body you'll be able to control your, your speech, your emotions, your actions. So if you have any, any things that you're doing afterwards you're telling yourself, Oh, I'm sorry that I've done that, I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have said that. You know, it's like you don't you're not having enough self control. And again, surrender is great. Flowing is great and so on. But, but really I see many men who are acting a little bit you know, it's like, they don't have any control over themselves. And sometimes those, those men look musculin. They are attractive that they are, muscular and so on. They, they basically (indistinct) and they are, they are over-controlling but they're not actually controlling themselves. So I think, I think control is a very important aspect in learning to control your ejaculation, would help you to control yourself and your life. Mental power is another one. Another thing that is connected again to power because you're probably aware that yourself and many men are experiencing some kind of like brain fog immediately after ejaculation. And sometimes also the next day sometimes even the next days. So I talked with men that two or three days afterwards were still a little bit, still a little bit foggy especially when you are going into your thirties into your 40th and forties and beyond you would feel in effect on your mental clarity, on your mental power because you are ejaculating a lot. So, if you ejaculate less, you would, you would achieve more mental power, and mental power is, is, is the key for a lot of things for your offering, for your sharing, your gift for your work, for your career, for your creativity as well. Emotional Power, I briefly touched on that. So you will be able to feel more emotions to feel the intensity of emotions but not have the emotions control you. So feeling the emotions, expressing the emotions but not being a slave to the emotions you will have increased creativity. Sexual energy is creative energy. That those sexual juices are, are meant to create life. And when you are able to withhold them, to channel them, to harness them, as we would cover in the next sections you will be able to channel that into your creativity. You will be able to create, and creating, can be creating art. It can be creating a family. It can be creating a social organization creating a business, their is a lot of forms of creativity. (clears throat) Manifestation power. Again, related, related to this is, when you are able to control your ejaculation. When you're able to minimize your ejaculations you will have the power to manifest. Okay? So, so again, there's, I'm not saying that the ejaculation control is the magic pill, magic super bullet solution that would solve any possible problem in your life. I want to make sure that you don't get this impression but I am saying that all of these aspects will be charged. All of these aspects will be improved with your ejaculation control. Wealth and success. Again, building a building upon this, there's this book that was written at the 1930s called, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. And he says, I think it's chapter 11 or 13 there that he talks about the fact that when men stopped ejaculating they start to become more successful. And he says, the desire for sexual expression is by far the strongest and most impelling of all human emotions when harnessed and transmuted into action, it may raise one to the status of genius. So this is again Napoleon Hill in the book, Think and Grow Rich. More aspects, notice that, there's even more, there's so much stuff to this. To, to the power aspect of the Why part of the model. When you are able to control your ejaculation you are able to have more control over, over your usual means of instant gratification. So you will be able to quit porn, sugar, alcohol, drugs, biting your nails, watching too much television or any other, other kind of escape and instant gratification. And I know this for myself. I just recently did the one week, water fast. I was only drinking water. And again, I'm not, I'm not expecting you to do that. I'm just giving you that as a, as an example, that that it's, it's possible to, it's possible to control yourself, control your environment, and take control over your body, and also control your cravings. So if you're having any kind of cravings and addictions, now that the practice of ejaculation control is going to help you to solve some of them. One of the core things in my work, in this program, in, in my message in the work that I do with clients, is self-love, self-acceptance, and self-worth and many men feel guilt. So shame feel inadequate because they are coming too fast. And this is really affecting them in their life. They don't, they feel like failures. They don't love themselves. They don't accept themselves. So I would say if they have a problem, take, take responsibility, walk on that, invest in that. And you would, you would see that this program is actually about self cultivation and self-love and the moment that you start getting, even, even before even before you start getting results just doing the practices will make you feel good. Okay? Even, even in the beginning, you, it might be challenging and you might have some accidents and you would ejaculate and so on, just taking this practice would, would help you feel better with yourself because you are taking responsibility. You're telling yourself I am important. My life is important. The gift that I have to share with the world is important. So this is, this is a beautiful aspect of this work and we're gonna, we're gonna touch on this later. Attraction, So the moment that you love yourself, by the way other people would love you as well. And there's a few levels to attraction. Let's say that you're in a committed relationship for many years you would enjoy greater attraction with your partner on a physical level, on an emotional level. And also you'll be more attractive to other women. And if you're in a relationship, it's like, okay you don't have to interact with those other women but wouldn't it feel nice if you would feel that that you're still attractive to other women. And then you go back to your partner and you deepen the connection with your partner. If you're single, or if you're in a period of your life that you are experienced multiple relationships, you know, dating a lot and so on, you would, it's a palpable feeling, okay? You become a magnet for, for women. And there's also, there's, there's like a passive and an active part for that because deep deep inside you passively and I know that, that you can control your ejaculation. So the moment you're going to have sex with a woman, you know, it's like, you know that you will be able to satisfy her. You know, you'll be able to pleasure her. And some of us enjoy talking about this and, you know, bringing sexuality to the table, bringing it to the agenda and actually discussing this stuff. And when women around in your community would start hearing that you're practicing ejaculation control. You might, you might see that some of them are starting to approach you. You know, it's like you will become more attractive. When, when, when people would hear about this you will gain more confidence with your partner, your friends, your colleagues your boss, your employees, and your clients. So, I was walking on my self-confidence for years. I was in some things, I was very confident in other things in other aspects of life, I was not, not confident. And I know for sure that this practice have given me greater confidence and also contributed to my success. So when you have confidence with yourself when you're accepting yourself when you're controlling your body, your emotions when you are not addicted to instant gratifications and drugs and so on, you will feel better with yourself. And this feeling better with yourself will make you more confident with everyone. There's (indistinct). That I really like it it's a bit long. So you might read it anyway or, or just listen to my voice. Orgasm feels great for a few moments, but the price you pay for the genital sneeze of ejaculation is much higher level of mediocrity in your daily life. You will find that you just don't have the extra gusto, which I call module, necessary to live your life with utter impeccability. Excess ejaculations, pave the road to living a good life, but not a great life. And this is by David Deida in the Way of the superior man. One of the best books written for men. There's another, there's a few other quotes by him, In a subtle way, excess ejaculations will diminish your courage to take risks, professionally and spiritually. You will settle for doing enough to get by, to be comfortable, but you will find that you would rather watch TV than write your novel, meditate, or make that important phone call. You will have enough motivation to live a decent life but ejaculations drain you of the "cutting through" energy that is necessary to pierce your own wall of lethargy and slice through the obstructions that arise in the world. Your gift will make, will remain largely ungiven. Again, this is David Deida, Way of the superior man. And if you wish you can pause for a moment and just reflect on these quotes, reflect on these ideas, spoken by one of the biggest teachers in, in masculinity these days. There's another guy, a little bit more contemporary. Dave Asprey, the creator of the puller Bulletproof Executive, Bulletproof Coffee, and Bulletproof diet. And he was experimenting his, he was experimenting with ejaculation control and he was saying, I was more satisfied with life when I was ejaculating only once every 30 days, this energy can be used. Okay. So he's a, he's a great believer in this practice. He personally says that that it's okay to ejaculate every 30 days. And I would share with you ideas in this program about waiting even longer. And again, you don't have to do anything. You can ejaculate if you choose to, but it's good to make an informed decision. Okay. It's good to know all the facts around when (indistinct) does to you. And also it's good to know the alternative. So I would help you become multi-orgasmic. So you would not be missing out on anything. So there's, there's even more, Why, does there's other resources within this section? There's there's text files, just excerpts of live workshops and there's exercises that would help you discover your Why deepen your Why and really use that as a reason to go deeper into this practice and to really, to really broke it to go to go all the way with this. What's possible? One of my clients who gave his permission for me to use his name said I didn't fully realize the amazing benefits of ejaculation control in all areas of my life. However, since working with Eyal I feels stronger than ever because I now have much more confidence and energy. My creativity has gone through the roof and I've decided to build my own Coaching Business. Furthermore, my presence would women is stronger and more conscious than ever. Not only do I have patience, confidence, and presence to give women fulfilling orgasms, I'm also a much better listener, and I understand women's needs better than ever before in my life. So I hope this inspires you. You know, this is, this is many such accounts of many men who share about what this amazing practice have done for them. So, so it's important to, for you to understand it's not about sex. It's about changing your life. This is the Why. Okay. The Why is about you, it's about your mission, is about your gift, is about the the dent that you can do that you can make in the universe. So I really believe that all of us are here for a reason. All of us are here for even multiple reasons. We have gift and gifts to share with others, to share with our partner, with our friends, with the same sex with the opposite sex and with the community. So you have a gift and this practice is about sharing your gift. It's not just about sex and orgasms and so on. So I would ask you for now, what is your, Why, what do you really resonate with, from all of the all of the points, all of the aspects that that I've raised. And I really, really encourage you to to discover that, to share more, to, to discover the deeper reasons in that way. I'd like you to share in the secret Facebook group as well and also sharing the comments below. So this is, this is really important. Once you share that, that, that it's like you become accountable to your Why. Just a reminder, all of this, all of this section is is the why section it's part of the five steps, the five aspects to lasting longer which are why, feel, stop, move, and transform. And we gonna get deeper into them in the next video. - Why is it good to ejaculate? (marker pen scraps) - [Male student] For babies. - Okay, babies. - [Female student] Pleasure. - Pleasure. - [Male Student] Performance. - [Male Student] To connect. - Performance. - [Woman] Losing weight. (indistinct). - Sorry? - [Female Student] Losing weight (indistinct). - [Female student] Yeah. - In a way. - [Female Student] (indistinct) - So using his semen as a lotion? - [Female Student] Yeah. (indistinct) (class laughs) - It's true that his semen has many good properties for skin and for women, but that's a different discussion. - But first (indistinct) babies, pleasure, performance. Why is it good to... Sorry? - [Male Student] Tension release. - Tension release. (marker pen scraps) - [Male Student] (indistinct) some kind of closure. - Closure. - [Male Student] Yes. (students crosstalk) - What else? (students crosstalk) (indistinct) (laughs) Well it's a funny way of (indistinct). I said it exactly like she did. That's what's funny. - [Female Student] You did. (indistinct) Yeah. - Okay. What else? Why is it good to ejaculate? - [Female Student] It's a natural, biological. - Natural. (marker pen scraps) - [Male Student] Because she really wants me to cum inside. - She wants. (marker pen scraps) - [Female Student] Yeah. (student laughs) - Yes. What else? - [Female Student] Because it's not just tension release, it's energy release. - So, release. We have tension and energy release. So, we see this and there might be more. Is there anybody that doesn't know (indistinct) - [Male Student] (indistinct) sort of affirmation that the other person is doing it well? (marker pen scraps) And if it doesn't happen you could feel anxious about it? - Well, (indistinct). So if you don't ejaculate, she thinks she's doing something wrong. - [Male Student] Yes. - Okay. - [Male Student] Also, to give energy. - To give energy? - [Male Student] Yeah. - Okay. (marker pen scraps) - [Female Student] And it makes you sleepy. If you have trouble sleeping. - That's sleeping aid. (marker pen scraps) - [Male Student] Sometimes (indistinct) - Sorry? - [Male Student] You have blue balls. - Yes. - [Female Student] (indistinct) balls. (students laugh) - [Female Student] So he can think again. (students laugh) - How would we say this? (crosstalk) So, tension release, but that's a way to move energy. Okay. Give energy, move energy. Yeah. That's a good point. - [Female Student] It can also be an addiction. - It is an addiction. It most definitely is an addiction. But there's not so much... we could put it as a reason. (marker pen scraps) - [Female Student] The question is... yeah. - The question is coming as, what do people tell themselves, which gives them the excuse and the reasons to ejaculate. Okay? So most people would not actually admit to the addiction to ejaculate. What else? - [Female Student] Connection. With yourself so. - Connection with yourself. (marker pen scraps) - [Female Student] Gets your man to open up more often - When you say something often that's... What else? What's... - [Female Student] Opening up. - So that's a way you open up. However, we said yesterday that many times after a man ejaculates. You were here yesterday, yes? Many times after a man ejaculates, he gets disconnected and... Mentally disconnected, emotionally disconnected, foggy. So is that actually opening up? - [Female Student] No. That's not. - But that happens to many men, maybe to most men unless they're practicing tantric techniques and so on. Is that they lose the connection with you and they shut down a little bit. They get a bit emotionally, mentally and they about you as well. They normally go like "Ah, I'm going to make love to you for the rest of the night." And then (indistinct). "What's going on on that Facebook (indistinct)." (students laugh) So, I find if I feed into something in what you're saying which is, there's a little bit of the surrender in something that they're saying. Is it that? (indistinct) surrender. (marker pen scraps) Anything else? - [Male Student] It may be strange that the pleasure is coming together. - Pleasure is coming together. Yes. (marker pen scraps) - [Female Student] Very strange. - There's no strange or silly question or stupid question. - Yeah. Pleasure coming together. For sure. - [Female Student] You should not suppress natural (indistinct). - Natural. Yeah. Okay. So, very good reasons isn't it? Guys, if I ask you right now, how committed are you? - What happens after a man ejaculates? - [Woman] They fall asleep. - Asleep. (Audience laughs) - [Audience member] Loses interest. - Loses interest. Interesting. - [Audience member] Loses energy. - Okay, that sounds nice and spiritual and new age-y, no offense. We always use the word energy but sometimes we have to be really specific in what we're talking about. How does that look like, feel like, sound like? What's losing energy? He loses his status Okay, that's another nice word in tantra but what does that actually mean? I'm practical. For me it's like I know the theories, but I wanna see in physicality. How does it actually look? How does it actually feel? So, "becomes asleep" is something that you can look at the person and you can say, "Ah, he looks a bit sleepy." "Loses interest", you can see that, that the person loses interest, okay? - [Audience member] He loses his erection. - Loses his erection! Okay. I lose, or used to lose, my erection when I used to ejaculate, so... Anybody else lose his erection here? Or is it just me? Okay. Loses erection. Goes down. What else? - [Audience member] Looking for something new to do, or to watch television or... Okay, so loses interest? (multiple people talking) Sorry? - [Audience member] So, not touching. - So disconnects a bit, which is what a few of you said. What else - [Audience member] It takes time before these things come back. - Can't have sex. Not so interested to have sex as well. So, you can still use your tongue and your fingers and so on but you are disconnecting and you're losing interest. What else? Come on. You are men who ejaculated, and women who have been with men, who ejaculated. What else? - [Audience member] You feel weaker. - Weaker. So there's a bodily feeling. Weaker. There's a bodily feeling of feeling weakness. It's not just tired, it's also weak. What happens to your mental focus? And by the way, I'm on generalizing and so on, but just bear with me. We need to generalize in order to understand some underlying principles. So... - [Audience member] They open up. - Mentally. - [Audience member] Becomes quite foggy. - Less attention, and foggy. Foggy. - [Audience member] I was also thinking that it also has the energy sometimes of "I just performed". There's this ego. (audience laughs) There's a something that, again, It's like, I think a different man ejaculates after five minutes, he shouldn't be so proud of himself. (Audience laughs) I guess that's me. But yeah, there is something... I'm getting what you're saying. You're I'm saying it's a self centered... The moment of orgasm, and there's something which is about me. My orgasm. It's like even in the orgasm, sometimes there's a disconnection. - [Audience member] Oh, definitely. - Okay. - [Audience member] I spoke with a guy recently and he was sharing about how he, back in the days when he still used to get laid, he used to feel shame right after which just connected, in a way, to the days when he was a teenager masturbating and coming and then being like Oh how can I hide this now from my parents so they don't come in and see? So that's kind of, the association is still there. - Shame. Yes. - [Audience member] Also disappointment sometimes. - Disappointment. Yeah. - [Audience member] Happy, maybe? - [Male audience Member] Happiness. (Crowd laughs) - Okay, so there is, for sure, there is a happiness and pleasure. Nobody said pleasure. (indistinct) That's what I'm talking about. But yeah, there is happiness and pleasure. Okay. How much pleasure do you have? How long is a man's ejaculatory orgasm? - [Audience member] Way too short. (Audience laughs) - 15 seconds. 10 to 15 seconds. So there is pleasure. (Audience laughs) There's definitely pleasure For 15 seconds. - [Audience member] It depends on what you're doing. Because, if you're making a child, then there is lots of pleasure. - Of course. How many times are you making a child? (Audience laughs) So for all those times that you are making a child, for sure. - [Same audience member] Three times 15 seconds. (Audience laughs) - [Audience member] Two point four times. - [Audience member] And sometimes feeling of guilt when you take the turn, or want to (indistinct) - Yeah. So we've seen that there's quite a lot of side effects apart from those 15 seconds of ejaculatory orgasm for men. So you might ask yourself, why do men do it? Men do it because this is what society and the collective subconscious have been telling us. Let's say a hundred thousand years ago. A hundred thousand years ago, we were in nature. We were in the savannas of Africa and we had to come fast because there were rhinoceroses and there were tigers and well, there was just work to do. So there were wild animals, you couldn't, you know, have sex for one or two hours. A man that would ejaculate as fast as possible will stay alive. This is why men ejaculate. So it's all about perpetuating the human race, but we don't want to make babies every time that we make love. But we're still conditioned by the same ♪ I like to move it, move it ♪ ♪ I like to move it, move it ♪ - [Eyal] Hey, guys. Welcome to another video in the Ejaculation Control Program. So this is about moving the energy, what we've been building up to. It was like, it was like foreplay and now we get to the, one of the really important part that would really make a difference in your lovemaking and in your life. So just as a reminder the five steps are why, feel, stop, move, or you can call it move it, move it, and then transform. So today we're talking about the move part. So this is really the big missing piece because you hear a lot about breathe there and squeeze that and you know, Osho was a great tantra teacher and he told his disciples not to ejaculate, but he didn't really tell them how to. And there's tantra schools out there or Soto tantra schools out there that tell their disciples not to ejaculate and you hear that a lot, and also in some religious circles that's the idea. But people don't know how to move the energy and when you don't know how to move the energy it becomes much, much more challenging and difficult, and let's say hard to control your energy, to control your sexual energy and to really last longer. So, this is the real secret to lasting longer. This allows you to move your energy so you feel the energy, you stop when energy is too strong, and then you move the energy. This is really what allows you to last longer, and if you master this part of moving the energy with all of the techniques that I'm gonna share with you, you theoretically can last as long as you want. Speaking about move it, move it, it allows you to keep moving. So sometimes during lovemaking, we need to pause and maybe even to pull out, but when you get better in moving the energy, it allows you to keep moving. Friction is not the most important thing in lovemaking it's a little bit overrated, but it is still nice to have penetration with movement and friction so it allows you to keep moving. Learning this, moving the energy is also making you multi-orgasmic, because for men, their sexual energy is focused and is kind of like locked in their genital area, in the first and second chakras according to yoga, and moving that energy also makes that energy move throughout your body and gives you a whole body experience and lets you experience multiple orgasms throughout your body. So this is the difference between having a genital orgasm and ejaculatory orgasm, and the whole body orgasm, and also a series of orgasms. It also opens you to new kinds of pleasure, orgasm and consciousness states. So I know it sounds a bit nebulous right now but believe me when I say that you would experience different kinds of pleasures which are not necessarily stronger than ejaculatory orgasm, but they're just different, and new, and exciting and much deeper and wider and more meaningful than that. So this is something really, to look forward to, and especially the consciousness states. You know, some people take drugs and I really experienced it, sex and tantric sex that goes on for hours as a kind of drug because you're getting to states of consciousness which are hypnotic, which are meaningful, which are sacred, which are very, very clear, and you have really, really amazing realizations in those states. Moving the energy also allows you to deal with heavy emotions, lethargy, lack of drive. So if you're feeling sometimes that you have anger, sadness, and specifically the heavy, lazy emotions, it's all energy that is locked in your lower chakras. So using these techniques to move the energy would also help move the heavy energy and also the sexual energies. And this would allow you to harness that and do something with that in your life. Specifically, I'm talking about mission a lot, and you probably noticed that I got you into this ejaculation control program, not just for you to be a great lover and to satisfy your partner and to be confident that that's all great. But what happens then, you know, what happens in your life? What happens with your mission? What happens with what you are here in this world to do? And this is a really good aspect of moving the energy. It allows you to move the energy to your mission to dedicate your sexual energy to your mission instead of losing it in ejaculation or losing it and obsessive thoughts about sex. So if you are finding yourself really obsessed about sex and really horny and so on this would really allow you to shift that into mold it into your mission, into your purpose. It allows you to use your sexual energy to share your gifts, to help other people and also to make money. And that's a few aspects that I mentioned in the why. Okay. So this is really the technique that allows you to take your sexual energy from your body, from your genitals from the bedroom out into your life. And as I like to say harness your mojo to unleash your full potential, harness your sexual energy to unleashing your full potential to rock your business and your life to express your mission and so on. Moving the energy is also called channeling in some circles. It's also called circulating the energy and it's also called sublimation. Sublimation specifically in the tantric circles and schools that I come from is a really beautiful word that word that we use a lot. And it comes from the idea of making something sublime, making something refined. Taking a gross heavy energy on the lower chakras also the lower parts of the body. This you know, heavy sexual energy that you feel that you're going to explode with and your balls are feeling like they're going to explored and its just you know, it's like that the intensity there. And raising it up, up your body up your chakras and by the way, if you don't believe in the idea of chakras, think about it as states of consciousness as states of being as different states of emotions and thoughts which are related to that. So don't worry about it if you don't if you don't agree with the idea of chakras. So sublimation is the idea again of taking that that low dense energy and turning it into a light energy up your body. And then you turn it into states of creativity, states of love and compassion, states of mental clarity, states of union with your higher self and with the divine. We already covered one technique of moving the energy which is the pause. So the pose doesn't exactly move the energy, but let's say that if you pause for enough time the time passing by itself would allow the energy to to move into dissipate a little bit. And obviously it's quite slow and we need we need to be better and stronger and faster techniques to that. There's the idea that one of the ideas which is really important about sublimation is where awareness goes energy flows. And one of the, this is really one of the core core principles of moving the energy because you would want to direct your energy away from your genitals in order to have your energy move away from your genitals as well. Moving the energy sublimation is a daily practice. It's really important that you do this every day. You take another commitment to practice this for 10, 20 minutes or something like this every single day if possible in the morning, and also in the night it would allow you to, to avoid wet dreams. This is something we're gonna deal with later specifically. So I really recommend this practice every single day and this would support subliming moving their energy while you're having while you're having sex, while you're making love. So we make it as a daily practice together with brushing the teeth and if your exercise together with your exercise, this is a this is a really beautiful practice. And as I mentioned, it's about not just about sex and lasting longer. It's about changing your life and changing your mental and emotional state throughout your life and moving your sexual energy towards your mission. This is something that you need to practice for months and for years, and you will already get great results from this program within a month of practicing. And you have to understand that this is just the beginning of the journey. And after months and years of practice, it will be easier and you would have much better results and much deeper results from this practice. This is something that you need to do, moving the energy practices, you need to do before, during and after sex. And again, most people miss some of them or all of them. And if you move your energy before sex, you would start the sexual experience without being so overly, crazily about to explode with sexual energy. And if you're doing it during sex it'll allow you to last longer during the sexual act. And if you do it after sex it would allow you to avoid blue balls not to be horny and even grumpy and heavy after sex. So this is really important to do this. And it's important to understand it takes time and it takes time sometimes to move the energy. So sometimes you will be, you will be really really exploding with sexual energy and it will take you a few minutes or 10 minutes or 20 minutes, or sometimes half an hour to remove your sexual energy and feel relaxed. And also it takes time that it takes to really master, moving the energy it takes months and even years like I mentioned. And it's not necessarily a bad thing, you know, it's like it's just understanding that there's a certain pace. The more you practice the easier it will be to move the energy but sometimes you would with your partner, or if you have multiple partners, you would find a woman who whose energy would be so heavy and so strong that you would feel like an absolute beginner again. And I can say that, you know sometimes I'm making love with women and I can, you know move inside them and flip them like a bagel and would be like (laughs) really have sex for a very long time. And sometimes I'm with other women and, you know, it's like after a few minutes I'm going to like stop. And every few minutes I have to stop or to pause or to even to pull out and do some of the sublimation techniques. And my tantric teacher (indistinct) has been practicing this for 30 years. And he says that he sometimes needs to stop as well. So just understanding its okay. Okay, this is part of the practice and again the more you practice this the better results you would have. The real tantric practice just to reiterate that is to build energy and to move energy. And again to build energy and to move energy. And this is how you make love for a long time. It's not like you you wait until the energy is too strong and then you start moving it. No, you're moving energy consistently. Okay, you're constantly moving energy and you're constantly building energy and you make sure that you don't build too much energy otherwise you get too close to the point of no return and you're gonna come. So keep moving that energy all the time. And what happened after awhile is this. (laughs) What happens after a while is that you build energy and move energy and so on for a very long time. There's three kinds of ways to move the energy. One of them is physical. So things that you do with your body, squeezes, body position, sounds and so on. And there's also mental sublimation, mental ways to move the energy which are mainly about visualization, but not just so there's the third kind is doing both of them in the same time. There is something which is very important to absolutely avoid. And that's a technique that was popularized in one of the, actually one of the best books about ejaculation control. It's just, it's just not very accessible this book and it's not very easy to read. It sounds like, it feels like you're reading Chinese. And this guy talked about practice called the million dollar point also called the Chinese technique. And the Chinese technique it's that you need to have a Chinese method, is about taking two or three fingers and pushing on the peritoneum where, where the sperm, where the sperm channels pass, when after you already missed the point of no return and it started ejaculating. So it's an emergency technique and it's it basically stops the explosion of the ejaculation inside your body. And there's a related technique to it called the Tibetan method. Which is about internally squeezing all of the muscles. Some people call it injaculation and that's basically the same thing, that you've missed the point of no return. You already, you already get into the ejaculator response and then you squeeze all of the muscles or you take your fingers and you press the perineum and then you stop the ejaculate and the ejaculate of the semen stays inside your body. This is something that I strongly strongly recommend not to do. Okay. So I just described it to you not in order for you to do it but in order for you not to do it, not the, for you if you hear it from somebody, you'll go to some workshop or reading some book, you trust me with this one. It's not a good technique. The risks of this methods is damage to your erectile tissue, your bladder and your prostate. So think about it like, like a strong explosion. The muscles are trying to push the ejaculate outside of your body. And you're basically pushing it to keeping the explosion inside your body. And it, it's like backfires. It backfires into your bladder. It goes into your prostate and it creates prostate damage. I actually know people who have prostate damage from this, from this practice and there's forums on the internet which talk about the guys using this practice and and having erectile tissue issues even erectile dysfunction, because of that. There's also the risk of pregnancy. So if you're not using protections and I do recommend you to use protections, if you don't you're switching partners and you haven't taken STD tests. So there's a risk of pregnancy because you you might think that you're squeezing the muscles but then there will still be a drop of sperm coming out. And also because you might want to continue lovemaking a few minutes later and then the sperm would come out, or, you know the next session that you would come, that you would have sex, you would have pre-come. And that pre-come in this case would contain sperm. I would, I would address pre-come later in the program but just so you know, this is if you are ejaculating a pre-come contains sperm. There's another risk, another effect which is loss of energy. So we are doing a lot of these practices ejaculation control program not just in order to last longer, but also in order to conserve our energy and use it for our relationship, for our mission, for our creativity, for our spiritual practices and so on. So there's still a loss of energy in these methods. And basically it's not a real ejaculation control method. So you already tip past the point of no return toward ejaculation and it's just, it's just an emergency technique. So I recommend to you not to use this technique. And if you, if you talk with somebody and you hear about this, I would also recommend to share that with them, that it's not a recommended technique. You can send them to me. So this has been the introduction to the fourth aspect of the five step model to lasting longer. And we're gonna go deeper now into the exact practices, physical practices, mental practices, and there's also you will see that there's basic practices and also there's also more advanced practices. There will be quite a lot there, and don't get overwhelmed. It's actually, I'm sharing with you different kinds of techniques because different techniques work for different people at different times and it's good to have a few options to build up on. So I'm giving you a toolbox to use. So see you in the next video. - In the previous video, we talked about moving the energy, channeling, sublimation. And now we're gonna talk about a few basic techniques that will help you to do that. This is just a reminder, still, the fourth aspect, the fourth element of the five step process to lasting longer, this is the move aspect. And as you will see, we will spend a lot of time on this aspect, and this is really one of the things that would make a difference to your lovemaking and would help you to last longer. Although I call it basic techniques, I have to say that it is basic only in comparison to other techniques that I would share with you later in the program that are gonna be more advanced techniques. So this presentation is about techniques that you can already do. You don't have to learn something new, too much. You don't have to practice. It's not difficult, it's very easy to do. And some of them probably you know about generally, but you didn't know that you could do this while you are making love. So this is basic, but not so basic. The really, really good reminder, which is also a technique by itself is to relax. When you're tense, when you're carrying tension in your body, you would ejaculate, okay? It make you anxious. So relaxation is again, one of the core principles in the ejaculation control program. You always need to start from a place of relaxation. So one thing that helps you to relax is pausing. And pausing is again, one of the other core techniques, one of the other core reminders. Remember that while you're self-pleasuring, while you're having foreplay, while you're having sex, you can pause and you can pause frequently. You can even pull out. So deposits is what allows you to take a moment, stop penetration, friction, movement, squeezing, whatever else you're doing. And you can just lie there, lie down in what's called Shavasana in yoga or the corpse position. Basically it means in English lie down on your back and relax all of your muscles, relax your breath, relax your eyes. And you can bring awareness to different parts of your body to make sure that you're not holding tension in them. This is actually one of the very powerful positions in yoga because we are carrying so much tension in our body. So you can do this while you are pausing. You can also practice meditation. This is something that I, again, highly, highly highly recommend. Meditation is one of those things that are shared by the most successful people in the world, successful in creativity, in music, in business, entrepreneurship, and so on. So many people even Arnold Schwarzenegger have or had a meditation practice. So when you practice meditation you are able to relax your body, relax your mind, and you would carry this relaxation into your lovemaking. And we'll get into lovemaking later in the program. But you can have very passionate, very sexy, very hot, very intense lovemaking, but you can still be relaxed and your partner can still be relaxed. So relaxation and meditation are really important aspects here. Also make sure that you have a relaxed breath so you're not breathing too strongly, too sharply. And we will have later in this section another presentation very much dedicated to breath. So breath is very important to stay relaxed, and also as a way to move your energy. Kegels. Now the kegels are muscle contractions or contractions that you perform a with your penis muscles. These are also important, and it's also important to know how to do them, when to do them and when not to do them. And again, there's a separate presentation later on in this section around kegels. Visualization is one of those underestimated techniques. So people, you know, very much focused on, squeeze this and breathe like that and so on. Visualization is a mental technique. And it basically means that you are, you can say that you can imagine or you can visualize in your mind's eye how the sexual energy is going from your genital, from your genitals, from your genital area, from your groin, traveling up your spine. Specifically it's better to visualize it going up your spine all the way to the top of your head. And there's a few ways to visualize that. So you can visualize kind of like a stream going up your body. You can visualize like an elevator which is carrying the sexual energy up your spine all the way up to the top of your head. And you can think about it as if you, if there's like a rope and you're pulling something like a rope. So your consciousness is usually in your head and you're looking down at your genitals, and then you're feeling like you're pulling up with the visualization, with the force of your will, pulling up the sexual energy upwards. Visualization might work for some people and for other people it wouldn't work, at least in the beginning. For me I needed the physical practices that I'm going to share with you later, in my first month and in my first even years of practice. And it took me a while until I was managing to use visualization. But I think one of the reasons is that I didn't give it a try. Okay, I was very much counting on the physical techniques. So I really recommend to you, invite you to have some sessions, masturbation sessions, self-pleasuring sessions, lovemaking sessions with visualization. Visualization is something that you can do while you're posing. And it's also something that you can do while you're making love. Remember to stay connected to your partner, so you're not kind of like disappearing somewhere into the mental sphere. But as you're practicing you will be able to visualize, but still be totally connected and present with your partner. And other thing that you can do is to look at your forehead with your eyes closed. So it's like you're getting a bit cross-eyed looking at your forehead. You would find that when you're doing that it's a little bit, it might feel like painful, there's no danger, but there's some tension there. So remember that sometimes it's good to be totally relaxed but also some practices that I share with you are also about creating some kinds of tension, some kind of squeezes in some parts of your body and that has the effect that it moves your sexual energy. So when you're doing this, when you're looking at your forehead with your eyes closed you're bringing a lot of focus, a lot of awareness into your forehead. And as we say in tantra, where awareness goes, energy flows. So when you are focused on your forehead your mind will be focused on your forehead and it will pull some of the sexual energy away from your genitals up towards your forehead. In tantra and in yoga, it's called the third eye. It's very important chakra. Be careful by the way that you don't keep your eyes open. It's not dangerous. It's just that while you're having sex if you keep your eyes open and you're staring at your forehead it would look a little bit weird. There's no problem with being special and little bit weird. But if your partner is not familiar with this technique it would seem like you're dying or something. So just be careful with this, or just tell your partner that you are practicing this. Again, a very strong technique, not the basic technique at all. Sounds. Sounds is another technique, not just for moving the energy, but for other purposes as well. Men, according to what I hear from women, men usually don't make any sounds. They only make sounds when they come. They only make sounds when they ejaculate. And apart from moving the energy, it's a really good idea to start getting into the habit of making sounds as you're self-pleasuring and as you are making love. And you would find that the more sounds you make the sounds you wanna make. So really, really experiment with this. One of the things you can experiment with is doing continuous sounds. So, throughout the whole experience going like, ahhhh, ahhh, and so on. I hope you enjoy hearing me making sounds. So continuous sounds is something which is something that you can experiment with. Falling sounds is another thing that you can experiment with. And the falling sound have a relaxing effect on you. So think about coming back home after a long day out at the office, going into a hot bath, what would be the sound that you would be making? I think it would be something like, ahh. Again you can repeat it quite a few times. You can go. Ahh. So this kind of like surrender and letting go sound gives a message to your brain that you're relaxing. It's a very relaxing sound. So this is something else that you can do. Try different pitches and different vowels. I A E O U and so on. And also see that different pitches would have different effects on your sexual energy. So if you are doing, ahhh, a very low, a very wild sound, that might actually make you more horny and make you more prone to ejaculating or at least to go closer to the point of no return. But if you've go like, ahhh. Okay, I know it sounds a little bit weird and a little bit strange, but I invite you to play with that. So see that those higher pitches would actually help you to move your sexual energy upwards in your body. The other thing to remember is that when you're vocal, when you're making sounds, they love it. Your partner, your woman would enjoy hearing you, hearing the fact that you're experiencing pleasure, okay. So this is something that would bring her pleasure as well. So both of you can be singing together, can make a symphony of sex sounds. And that's really beautiful to hear that. Another thing that sounds can bring a part for moving the energy, it makes it into a whole body experience, whole body pleasure, whole body orgasm. And it also gets you into orgasmic state. Orgasmic state means, it's not the five seconds of ejaculation, orgasm that you used to to experience. Instead you would experience something which might be more mild, not as strong as the ejaculate orgasm, but last much, much, much, much, much longer, okay. You can be in this state for 20 minutes, you can be in this state for an hour or more. So this is really a beautiful practice making sounds and seeing what different effects it will have on your lovemaking. Moving your hands up your body is another thing that you can do in order to move your sexual energy. So think about your sexual energy as a very, very thick oil or fluid or gas that is concentrated, stuck in the level of your genitals. And what you would want to do is move that away from your genitals, specifically up your body. Some people say also to move it down your body, you can experiment with that. But generally all the time as the song went "The Only Way Is Up". So keep focusing on moving the energy upwards, moving your hands upwards. And as you're moving your hands up your body you can do this with a light touch, you can do it with a strong touch, you can use your fingernails. The idea is that you, it's like you're scooping that sexual energy from your genitals up your body. You can do this on the front of your body. You can do this on the back of your body as much as you can reach as well. Very much related to this is to touch your forehead, generally your head and also your neck. And touch it, squeeze it, pull it. And when you're doing this, again, this is something that would signal to your mind, signal to your brain, that you're pulling the energy upwards. You can be doing it quite strongly, or you can be doing it more lightly. And experiment with different ways to touch your forehead, your head and your neck. You can explore having one hand on your head, on your neck, on your forehead for a few long minutes while you're making love and see how that feels and see also how that is causing your sexual energy to rise up your body. Another thing to touch or to squeeze is the sides of your glands, the glands is the head of your penis. So for this, you would have to pull out and as you pull out, by the way, be careful, because sometimes when you pull out that friction might tip you over the point of no return. So be careful when you're pulling out. So after you have pulled out, you take your fingers and you squeeze the sides of the head of your penis, the sides of your glands. And this is something that would make the head of your penis be less, like less erect, less expanded. You might lose a little bit of erection, but with that you would also lose some of your sexual energy, you'll be able to move some of the sexual energy. Be careful though, because sometimes you would be so sensitive that squeezing the sides of your glands would actually tip you over the point of no return. So if this is your experience avoid this technique for awhile and then you can do it when you are not so aroused. Another thing to do is to massage your perineum. Your perineum is the area between your balls and your anus and it's a very bulbous area and it's also where the PC muscles are connected to or related to. And when you take your fingers and you push into that area into your perineum you basically helping the sexual energy to move. Especially if you are building energy for days and for weeks, as I really recommend, which means not ejaculating for days and weeks. You would feel that you have a lot of sexual energy and it would feel quite relieving to massage your perineum. By the way, just as a reminder, massaging your perineum is something that you can do while you're making love and also outside of lovemaking. But if you're already starting to ejaculate don't press your perineum, what's called the Chinese method or The Million Dollar Point as I've covered in a previous video. Because this is something which is highly unrecommended and have really great side effects. So avoid that, but instead just massage your perineum throughout the lovemaking and when you're posing as well. So this big reminder, because we're gonna talk about some techniques that you do and you need to pull out. You need to pull out, you need to pause, and you need to move the energy. So remember that it's okay to pause, it's okay to pull out, and it's okay to move the energy. Because if you're making love, if you're having penetrative sex for three to five minutes, which is the average, you know maybe you wouldn't take too many pauses and too many breaks. But when you're making love for 20 minutes, 30 minutes or an hour, it's totally okay to pause. And it's important to pause especially in the beginning. We will cover later the specific techniques that you should do while you're making love. But for now, just remember that pausing is something that is very, very recommended. And you have to be strong enough and committed enough with your purpose, with your commitment to this practice and keep doing this. And your partner might be agitated a little bit if you're pulling out. And as the tantric master one said, I'll be back. This is the tantric master Arnold Schwarzenegger. So tell her, it's like, it's okay, darling, I'm just moving my energy. I'll be back in a moment. Okay, I'll be back inside you in a moment, so we can continue our beautiful lovemaking. So other techniques are physical exercise. And physical exercise is something that you would do specifically when you're pulling out, when you're taking a few minutes break. And physical exercise is something very beautiful because it allows you to move your energy very, very quickly, and it also have some other effects. So one of the things you can do is calisthenics. Calisthenics is a physical exercise that you do without the aid of any equipment. So you don't have to go to the gym and in the middle of lovemaking and do a physical exercises. Instead, what you can do is pushups, crunches, planks, pull-ups, squats, and handstands. And if you don't know what these means, please go and Google and search for how to do them. And you can even try to kind of like push it. If you really push it, you would move your sexual energy. If usually you are only able to do, let's say 20 pushups. And in the middle of lovemaking you go and you do, you know, 18 and even 20 pushups, you would feel that your sexual energy have moved. You would feel that your erection has subsided. And you are not as close to the point of no return as you were just a minute ago. So experiment with different exercises because different exercises again would have different effects on your body. Focus on sending the sexual energy to your muscles. So you are both moving the energy and also you're building muscle. And remember also that it looks very hot. So you're doing this in the middle of lovemaking. It might sound a little bit, look a little bit weird, but remember you have a practice and it's not about being weird, it's about being special. So you're doing this for a reason and allow yourself to be different than other people. Allow yourselves to be different than how you used to be, allow yourself to try new things. And just remember to explain that to your partner. Another technique that you can do is a cold shower. Especially if you live in a cold climate, you take a pause, you take a break a few minutes from sex and you go and you put yourself on the very, very cold water. For sure this is something that's gonna move your sexual energy. You are going to be less aroused if you are a few minutes under the cold water. Okay, I personally love cold showers. I take a cold shower nearly every morning and I'm living in Melbourne in South Australia, which is really, really, really cold, okay? So, this is a really beautiful practice. By the way also, it has other effects apart from moving your sexual energy. So this is another practice that you can experiment with. I know we covered quite a lot in this presentation and remember I call it basic techniques. And although you might have known some of them, remember this is not basic at all. And these techniques by themselves, start to practice them and see how you're managing to last longer and not just lasting longer see how your sexual experience is changing. Remember to take longer pauses, because if you're taking short pauses, it might not be enough to move the sexual energy. So the pause by itself is a technique to allow the sexual energy naturally to move, so experiment with longer pauses. So just as a reminder, I'd like you to commit to some things while you're doing this program. And I would like you to pick one of the exercises. You're welcome to watch the video again and pick one or even two of the exercises and practice them every day. And even if you're not having sex, okay, you can practice some of them every day when you are self-pleasuring, which is having sex with yourself. So experiment during your self-pleasuring practice and already be good with moving the energy. So commit to one or two of these practices for a few days for a week and keep circulating through them. Try different practices. Try all of the practices. You know, sometimes if you're feeling that you are constantly getting close to the point of no return or even having accidents, missing the point of no return and ejaculating, try when you're pausing, try a few of the practices together. So this has been again another video, another presentation on moving the energy, which is one of the five steps to lasting longer. And we will keep talking about other techniques in this section and also in the next section. So you have something to look forward to. - This video is about breath. This is part of the section about moving your energy but it's not just about moving your energy. Learning how to breathe, what to do and what to avoid would also help you to experience new kinds new states of pleasure and bring new meaning into your lovemaking. One of the first things to remember about breath is the idea of being relaxed. If you're breathing fast, strong or if you are constricting your breath or if you're not breathing that would make you that would bring you closer to the point of no return or might make you unaware that you are too aroused and then you might tip over the point of no return and ejaculate. So it's important for the breath to be relaxed. The next thing to remember is how you breathe. So I welcome you to take a really, really deep breath right now. Take a deep breath and then take it, breathe out take another deep breath and breathe out and what we'd like you to note is that what you have probably done is this. (taking a deep breath) So in my workshops and talks when I ask people to breathe deeply they usually breathe to their chest and to their shoulders. When you breathing like this, it creates again, tension in your body, it creates anxiety and this is not something that is serving your ejaculation control practice. What instead I welcome you to do, I recommend you to do is breathe into your belly. If you look at kids, if you look at babies breathe you would see that they breathe into their belly the belly inflates as they are breathing. So instead of breathing to your chest, (taking a deep breath in and out) practice breathing into your belly, which looks like this. (taking a deep breath in and out) I'm obviously exaggerating this a little bit but the idea is for you to consciously breathe into and inflate your belly, instead of breathing up to your chest and to your shoulders. So you can also put your hands similar to how I'm putting them, one hand on your chest and the other one on your belly and then see how you can breathe in a way that that inflates your belly. Try to do this every day for a few days just to get this right and also when you are self-pleasuring and also when you're having sex make sure that you're breath in into your belly. Try to make this the way that you breathe usually because this has effects not just on your lovemaking, but generally affects on your level of energy throughout the day on your level of concentration. So this a really good practice to do which is not just about sex. Another two reminders are to breathe slowly and to have long exhalations. So, as I mentioned, if you're breathing really fast you're bringing a lot of energy into your body. So instead inhale and exhale, soft, slow, and relaxed and the other thing that you can do is to focus on the exhalation and with the exhalation think about it like releasing energy, letting go of energy. So when you are having really long exhalations, you're consciously aware of your breath and also then you are letting go of some of your energy. Now, the next two techniques are really, really important and this is something that is one of the strongest techniques before we go to the advanced techniques later in the program, this is some ways already an advanced technique. So you might have seen on Google or on other programs different kinds of breathing techniques and this is a really, really simple one. This is the idea that by either holding your breath in or holding your breath out, you are able to control your sexual energy. So the first one is to take a deep breath and to hold it in for as long as possible. This is called full retention. So you take a really, really deep breath and then you just hold it. Let's just do this now for just a few seconds (breathing in) and on and on and on. You just hold that breath for as long as possible and you would see that sometimes this breath has a lot of energy and it brings you closer to the point of no return so if that happens to you, don't focus don't practice this technique but other times or for other people you would find that this actually allows you to move your sexual energy up your body. The second technique which is usually the stronger techniques and the one which has the strongest the stronger results is the idea of void retention. Void retention means to hold your breath without air. So the way that you do this is you take a deep breath and then you release the breath all the way out and make sure that you push the air all the way out from your lungs and then you hold as much as possible. And when you're doing that, your brain is going like, Oh, I don't have air, I don't have oxygen. The brain is thinking that you are, that you're gonna die basically and when you're doing that, when you're not breathing and when you're holding your breath, your brain goes like okay, I'm not gonna send any more energy to the genitals instead, I'm gonna pull energy away from the genitals to your lungs, to your heart, to your brain, to wherever that energy is really needed. So the ideas of void retention is something that mimics deaths you can say in some way and it's a really, really amazing technique in controlling your ejaculation. As you're doing that, make sure that you stay relaxed again, as I mentioned and I will keep repeating this throughout the program, you can control your breath and you can hold your breath and be really, really stressed or you can control, you can hold your breath and be really, really relaxed. So for example, if I perform it right now (breathing in) full breath in, let it all the way out (breathing out) and so on. You can also, you can practice this while you're making love and you also can practice this while you're pausing. Especially when you're pausing try to push it as much as possible and you might feel dizzy, you might feel actually energy going up your spine, you might feel a little bit lightheaded, your erection might go down, which is a really, really good sign because it means that your sexual energy is going down as well. So these are a few ideas, a few practices with breath. I invite you to give them a try and maybe even give them a try a few times, maybe take the practice of the void retention which is what I really recommend and do this every day for a week while you are self-pleasuring or while you are making love. Do this for one week, share your experiences in the comments and also in the Facebook group and I really wanna hear how this is working for you. The next videos are gonna share more ideas about moving the energy and also they're gonna be more breath exercises. See you there. - [Instructor] And in this presentation, we're going to talk about kegels, one of the aspects of moving your energy from the five aspects model. So this is quite a basic thing. Most people know about squeezing the PC muscles. When I talk with people about ejaculation control, they say, "Ah, it's about squeezing, yes?" And yeah, it's about squeezing, that's quite basic. It's a basic technique, it's an important technique, but it's important to understand a few things that it's not the only technique, and there's also various ways to do it, various ways to practice it. And one of the most important things is when to do it and when not to do it. Kegels allow you to move energy, to move sexual energy up your body. It also helps with the strength of your erection, allows you to get erection quite faster than you have done before. It also very nicely inflates the head of your penis. It's like the penis becomes like a balloon that is inflating when you are squeezing these muscles. And it's a way to wink inside her. I call it winking or kissing inside. So because the head of your penis will be inflating, it usually, for most women, it feel very nice inside and they usually get aroused from feeling you really, really deep inside them. So the first thing to remember about all of these kegels and squeezing, all of this stuff, is to relax. And relaxation is something which is so important, and so basic and so profound actually, because as modern 20th century people, we carry a lot of tension in our bodies. We carry a lot of tensions during sex and this tension is what makes you cum faster than what you would like to. It also doesn't allow you to really enjoy the love-making. So, first of all, learn to relax, learn to lie down on your back, bring awareness to all of your body, make sure that all of your muscles are relaxed, consciously relax all of your muscles. So there's a few kinds of kegels, a few kinds of contractions and squeezes that you can do. One of them is in your penis, another one is in your pelvic floor, and another one is in your anus. We're going to talk generally today about penis, penis squeezes. The other ones, specifically the pelvic floor, takes a little bit longer to master. Anus is basically if you think about going to defecate, going to shit, and then you relax this muscle. And if you're feeling like you're needing to go to the toilet for number two and you can't, you squeeze this muscle, okay? So this is the anal muscle. So how to practice kegels. The way to you to practice kegels is for you to go to the toilet and start peeing. And when you start peeing, immediately stop the flow of urine. Use your muscles to flow the stop of urine and then wait a few seconds and then start again, pee again, and then stop again. So do this a few times. And this is how you recognize the muscle that you need to practice in order to move the energy. This is the main muscles that we're talking about when we talk about kegels. So do this and try to do a daily practice of this. So this is not just one time that you do this. You need to do this, to practice this every day and if possible, two or three times a day and this is what would give you the results because the more you practice, the better the results will be, the better the control over this muscle will be and the better you will be able to move energy. So think about this Kegal muscle like a pump and this pump is moving the sexual energy up your body, up your spine. And the more you are able to practice this, it's like a muscle that you practice, so the more energy will be able to move. So do a daily practice with two or three sessions and start with whatever you can. So for example, you start with 20 squeezes. Don't push yourself too much especially not in the beginning. If you can only do 20 squeezes, it's okay. And then raise by 10 or 20% every single day. So from 20 would go to 24 and then two 29 and then two 35, about these numbers, it doesn't have to be exact. If you can do a little bit more, that's okay. If you can do a little bit less, that's also okay. But the idea is that you practice this every day and try to take a commitment to practice this for 30 days straight and then try to raise every single day. And also it's a good idea to write down in your journal, in your ejaculation control journal, how many are you able to do, how long were you able to practice and so on. There are different types of kegels according to the duration. And the one which is practiced by most people is what I call the fast one, which is squeeze, release, squeeze, release, squeeze, release and so on. This is a good thing to practice. It's also one of the things that I practice most of all but there are also other practices, other kinds of squeezes that you can practice. So the other one is called a slow squeeze. Slow squeeze, it means you squeeze, you hold, and release. And then again, squeeze, hold, release. And the hold is about a second or two seconds, something like that. You're not just squeezing the muscles very fast like the fast, squeeze, release, squeeze, release. You're also holding in the middle and that builds up the strength of the muscle and also the ability to move energy. The next one is what I call the hold. So it's a constant squeeze. So you squeeze and you keep squeezing and you keep squeezing. And what you will discover after a few seconds, try to squeeze harder. And if you manage to squeeze harder, it means that some of the squeeze was released already. So try to squeeze as long as possible. And obviously when you're practicing, you will do a lot of fast squeezes and then you will do a little bit less slow squeezes and then you will do even less holds. So for example, if you're practicing 20 squeeze, release, squeeze, release, and then that's all you can do, take a few minutes break, and then you would do let's say eight, 10, 12 of the slow squeezes. And then you'd take a few minutes break. You do some of the other practices in between, and then you do the hold squeeze. And maybe the hold squeeze, you would only be able to do three or four or five times in the beginning. So what I would recommend you to do is in your daily practice, practice all of them because they would give you different results. And again, as a reminder, before you squeeze and after you squeeze, make sure that you relax, make sure that you release the squeeze. So you're not going around the whole day with your PC muscle squeezed. So when to squeeze is very important, okay? And men get inconsistent results with kegels because they don't know when to squeeze. They usually squeeze all the time during sex or when they feel too close to ejaculation, but that actually gets them closer to ejaculation because tension and muscle tension many times brings about ejaculation. So it's very important not to squeeze when you're too close to the point of no return. And instead, you squeeze when you're relaxed, you squeeze when you pause, or you're squeezing on you pull out. And you mind your mileage might vary, so be careful. If you're too close to the point of no return, sometimes it would help you to completely relax and sometimes it would help you to squeeze. Different things help different people. So make experiments and see what works for you. But specifically when you're inside your woman and you're having sex, you're in penetration, you have friction, there's a lot of movement around, you can experiment with squeezes, but if you see that it gets you closer to the point of no return or over the point of no return, don't do that. The most safe thing to do is squeeze when you are pausing or even when you are outside. So this was part of the move aspect of the five-step model. I really recommend you to practice this every day and I'll see you at the next video. - In this video, I'm going to share with you one of the most powerful techniques of yoga. This is a technique that is going to help you to move your energy. It is very, very effective in moving your sexual energy but also it's something that you can do when you are feeling a little bit down, lethargic, sad, confused, maybe even a little bit depressed. If you do a few rounds of this technique you would feel that you're feeling better, you're feeling lighter, you're feeling more energized and you can take more action after you do this technique. This is not recommended for women, for pregnant women after the third or fourth month. So there's a lot of details to this technique and there's obviously a lot of other benefits and effects of this technique but let's start with how we actually do that. Uddiyana Bandha, this really special technique is also called the abdominal suction and this is an easier way to remember this technique. It's called the abdominal suction because you suck your abdomen, you suck all of your belly area inside your body and you hold it there for as long as possible. I'm gonna show you how to do this practice. First, I'm gonna go and show you the whole way through and then I'm gonna break it down and explain every part. Don't get overwhelmed, there's easier ways to do it, you don't necessarily need to do everything that I'm doing but you start with this and it's a really good practice to learn and to master. So first I'm gonna do this without explaining. So I'm gonna do it while explaining the steps to you. So I'm not doing it fully, but you will get the idea. So I take a full breath in, into my belly then I crouch down. When I crouch down, it's important that you bend your knees and keep your keep the weight of your body just to both your knees, with the fingers of your hands pointing inwards, you relax the shoulders and you make sure that your back is nice and straight and in one line with your head. So again, you take a full deep breath and then you let go of, you exhale the breath fully and then you just hold. It looks like this. Now, as you're holding and you're supposed to keep holding this as you're doing this practice, you focus on moving your diaphragm up, moving the diaphragm up your chest and the way to do this is kind of like playing trying to play between your chest and your belly and it's kind of like trying to inflate your chest and push it forwards and a little bit upwards so it looks like so when you diaphragm is moving like this this is what pulls your belly in. And as you notice, my belly muscles are relaxed when I pull my belly in, I'm not using belly muscles to do this. So the next thing to remember is that you need to hold this for as long as possible and then when you want to release it's important that you first release your belly muscles before you breathe in, it looks like this and then you breathe in and then you hold it again. Then you release the breath, you can take another breath in between and then you start the cycle once again. Obviously when you're doing this keep having both of your hands on your knees above your knees and obviously, while I might be doing this practice when you're making love and then you might be lying down on your back or supporting yourself on your hands and you can still be doing this so it would look something like this. So you can be having sex in this position and you can be still pulling your belly inwards. A good way to recognize your diaphragm, to learn how to separate your belly from your chest is to lie down on your back release, exhale and then after you exhaling, you try to do this. So this is easy because your belly muscles are totally relaxed and you're basically just trying to suck your belly in and that's, this is also how you can perform Uddiyana Bandha perform the abdominal suction while you're making love so if your partner is riding you, or if you're self-pleasuring, you know, you don't need to stand up and do the whole position you can just do this. This is Uddiyana Bandha, the abdominal suction. The important thing is for you to when you're breathing out, when you're holding without breath try to hold that for as long as possible, the longer you hold it, the more effects it would have on sublimation, moving your energy upwards. Be careful if you're feeling that you are a little bit dizzy, stop the technique and make sure that when you stop the technique, you don't suddenly stand up, you stay down cause otherwise you might even faint so just do this if you are prone to fainting and stuff just do it gradually. So practice this technique, try to do this every single day for a week and maybe even for a month and this is also something that you can do when you are posing. Practice, share in the comments and share in the Facebook group how this is working for you. - This technique is called the fire breath and it involves breath but also a little bit of visualization. This technique is helping you to move your sexual energy up your body, but it also has some other effects of slightly raising your level of consciousness. And also it might create some sensations and even some pleasure, maybe even some orgasmic experiences throughout your body. But for now, the thing that we're going to focus on is moving your energy. This is something that you can do while you're having sex, when you're pausing, and also generally in the midst of a lovemaking session. For example, when you're standing, taking your partner from behind, this is something that you can easily do or if you're laying down on your back, again, you can do this technique and this is how it's done. So you're taking a deep breath in first, and then you are shooting the breath out from your nose. The way to get this technique is to imagine that you have a string from your belly button and you're pulling it from your back, okay? So you're pulling your belly in very, very strongly and it looks something like this. (breath whooshing) And then after you've done that, you allow the breath to naturally come in. As am doing this, notice it's not so much the tension of the belly muscle but more the focus on breathing the air out as fast as you can through your nose. Imagine you have a fly going into your nose or even just outside your nose and you want to shoot that fly out. So you will be going like, (breath whooshing) Okay, or another way to look at it is if you are sneezing through your nose. It's not generally recommended to sneeze through your nose, but again, it's a very strong expulsion of air through your nose. Just another way to do this is is not to wait a few seconds between the repetitions, but to do it nearly repeatedly. And the way that it would look like is something like this. (breathe whooshing) So it's called the fire breath and immediately I'm feeling hotter. There's a lot of heat generated in my belly and there's also some sensations going up my body. Again, be careful if you have any heart condition or asthma or whatever. Be careful when you do it or maybe even avoid it. And if you do practice this, try to practice this once a day for a week, even for two weeks while you're self-pleasuring, while you're making love, and see what the effects are. Again, tell your partner so she doesn't think that you are having an asthma attack or something like that. Share your experiences in the comments below and also in the Facebook group. - This technique is called the big draw also known as, Oh my God, I'm being electrocuted. And as you, as you see from the program I keep talking about the importance of relaxing. So relaxing is one of those, one of those practices which come between the techniques between the practices I'm sharing with you. And this practice is exactly the opposite of relaxing. It's about tensing all of your muscles in the same time. And when you do that when you tense all of your muscles in the same time it basically moves the energy in a different way. It allows all of the energy to suddenly move. If earlier it was stagnant if really it was locked at a certain place this is a technique that you can do while you're pausing. This is sometimes the technique that you do while you're having sex. The important thing is that you tell your partner that you're doing this because otherwise you would think that you are having a heart attack or it really looks, you know, crazy. So it's okay. If you tell your partner, she knows what's what's going on. Also, if you have any heart condition any brain condition, any serious medical conditions just as a reminder, you might want to skip this one. Okay? It's quite an intense technique. So this technique is about squeezing every possible muscle in your body. So you're consciously bringing awareness to all of your body and you're trying to squeeze everything. You're squeezing your eyes you squeezing your mouth and your jaw and your neck. You squeezing your hands in your arms, your chest, your belly your back, your buttocks, thighs, legs, everything good. Try to squeeze as many muscles as possible. And obviously you're holding your breath when you're doing that. So it's, connected to the technique of holding the breath after you've excelled that we already discussed and this kind of like makes it much stronger. So I'm going to show you how to do that. And it's going to look a bit crazy. It's okay. I'm okay, I'm (Laughs) so you take a deep breath (inhales deeply) and you exhale all the way, (exhales deeply) and then you squeeze. (Inhales deeply) (exhales deeply) So notice that I squeeze so much, that, I rise. I rise above the metris, okay. Because I'm squeezing my buttocks, okay. And really everything, everything everything has been squeezed. Try to hold that, as long as possible. And the longer you hold this position the stronger the sublimation effects will be the stronger it will be moving. Your energy. As with all of the other techniques. I invite you to try this, try this, for example when you're self-pleasuring and you're taking a pause do this practice and see how it affect your sexual energy how it makes your sexual energy drop and try to do this every day for a week or for two weeks and see what the effects are. - [Instructor] Microcosmic orbit. This is another practice that would allow you to move your energy, and we will see it also have some other benefits. It is a practice from the Taoist tradition. The Taoist is the spiritual practices of, from the Chinese tradition. And I have taken this and I've honestly made it very, very much simpler. The original practice has much more many more steps and many more intricacies, I believe this simplified method, simplified practice that I'm sharing with you is still very powerful. It includes visualization, it includes breath and muscle contraction. And this is why it is something even a basic, a simple and an advanced technique because you have the option of combining a few different kinds of practices in one practice. The benefits of this practice is it allows you to move your energy. This is why I'm sharing it here within the move section. It also allow you to regain your erections. So sometimes you would move your energy so much that you would actually lose your erection, and this is a beautiful practice to move your energy back into your genital area. It allows you also to experience new states of pleasure because of the energy moving in your body and because of you bringing awareness to the perception of your sensations. And it also allows you to raise your state of consciousness. So let's see how we do this. This is a background of a woman, but I'm sure you can relate. So you basically start this practice by taking, the easiest is by taking a deep breath. And when you breathe, you are visualizing the breath, you're visualizing the sexual energy going from your crown down to your genitals, specifically down towards your perineum, okay? So you can even do this right now, so inhale and visualize down. And you can tell yourself down, down, down if you're having issues with visualizing. So you can internally say the words down, down, down. So you are inhaling and it's like you're visualizing. It's like you are taking the sexual energy actually down into your genital area. Then when you are exhaling, you're exhaling up back to your head, okay? So exhale back up to your head and you can tell yourself up, up, up, or something like that. So that's a very simple version of the practice. So let's even do it right now, just sit comfortably, close your eyes for a moment, and then take a deep breath and breathe into your belly and visualize the energy going down, down to your genitals, and then exhale up to your head. Inhale down to your perineum, to your genitals, and exhale up to your head. So notice how you feel after two or three repetitions of this. The next version is a little bit more intricate. It's basically breathing in, inhaling down the front of your body, and exhaling up the back of your body, okay? So inhaling down the front, exhaling up the back. And let's do a few repetitions of this. You can close your eyes or you can open your eyes and you can keep your eyes open if it makes it easier for you to see the directions and so on. So inhale down the front of your body to your perineum, exhale up the back of your body, up your spine, to the top of your head. And again, inhale down the front of your body, and exhale up your back, up your spine to your head. Okay, the next version of this, which is the full practice that I'm teaching is combining the breath and the visualization of the energy with muscle contractions. So when you're inhaling in the beginning you will not be doing anything, and then you inhale down to your perineum, to your perineum to your first chakra is also there. And then when you are exhaling, this is when you are squeezing your PC muscles. And you can watch again the lecture about kegels in moving the energy basic techniques to move the energy. So the moment that you start to exhale, even a split second before you start to exhale, you squeeze your PC muscle. PC muscle, inner muscles, everything down there in the beginning you can squeeze. And then again, you visualize the energy going up the back of your body, up your spine. Then when you are fully exhaling, when you are letting go of all of air and you're visualizing the energy going up to your head, this is when you release the squeeze, you don't keep squeezing all the time, you release the squeezing of your PC muscles, and then you inhale down the front of your body without any squeezing without anything. And again, you pause for a second after you have inhaled, and then you squeeze your PC muscles and then exhale up your spine. Let's do it right now, let's do a few repetitions of this, and you can do this in a slightly different rhythm to what I'm doing this, if this is better for you. So inhale down your front, your perineum. Squeeze your perineum and exhale up the spine, visualize energy going up to your head, release the squeeze, inhale to your perineum down your front. Wait there for a moment while still being relaxed and then squeeze your PC muscles and exhale up your spine. Release the squeeze, inhale down the front of your body. Really visualize the sexual energy going or life energy going through your breath with your breath down to your genitals. And you can breathe specifically to your cock, specifically to your balls, specifically to your second chakra which is around that area, okay? So this is the practice, this is the my version of the microcosmic orbit. I would recommend you to do this, to practice this let's say 10 minutes every day. And again, I know there's other practices that you can do that you are doing already, hopefully you are doing already, and you can practice, you can try this one as well, and maybe you need to drop one of the other practices. I have to say that for some years this didn't work for me, but maybe also, because I didn't give it enough trial. And when I shared it with clients and with workshop participants, they actually had very good results with this practice, some of them had really good results from this practice. So I would recommend giving it a try for two weeks or four weeks around five to 10 minutes every day. And this is also something that you can do while having sex. So you can do this without stopping the other things that you're doing. You can be in penetration, you can be moving your body, and if you are focused enough you can also visualize the energy, and you can also time it, synchronize it together with your breath and with the squeezing in all of this. As always make sure that you are still connected with your partner, you're not just doing some technique. You can do this during your pauses as well, or you can do this when you're pulling out. And be careful also when you're squeezing your PC muscles, because for some men that would get them closer to the point of no return and not away from the point of no return. So as always share your, write down your three takeaways from this technique and share in the comments below, and also share your general progress in the Facebook group. See you in the next video. - [Instructor] Using your mind to move your energy. This is part of the advanced techniques, the move step, the move aspect from the five-step model. And also we are relating a little bit to the transform aspect. So a little story before we start. So there's a older couple, let's say eight years old, and they are William and Mildred. So one evening William goes into the bedroom and start making love with Mildred. And he ejaculates as many men do. And then he leaves the room. After a few minutes, he goes back to the room. Again, start to make love, have sex with Mildred. After a a few minutes he cums, and then he leaves the room, goes to the toilet, comes back. Again, have sex with her. And this happens again three times, four times, fifth time. On the sixth time, Mildred says, "William, I'm really enjoying this, "but it's like five times in one evening. "That's quite a lot for me." And William says, "What do you mean? "Have I been here before?" So the idea that I'm trying to communicate here is that it's all in the mind. Okay, the mind is very strong. The mind can, William wasn't aware that he was there before, that he had sex before. So in his mind, it was all always the first time. And since it was the first time, he managed to get it up and continue. So I'm not suggesting you to ejaculate, I'm suggesting that when you are able to clear your mind, when you are able to use your mind, you will be able to last longer and control your ejaculation. And there's other effects as well. So using your mind is slower. So it takes, for most people, it takes some time until they learn to really use their mind in order to move the sexual energy, and you just have to be aware of this. So in the beginning, you have to do the physical techniques, the basic techniques that I shared with you in the basic section, and also the advanced techniques, which are also physical, okay? But I'm sharing with you this idea of using your mind, which is slower, so you can start now and start practicing. And in time, you would have better results. It takes takes practice. I'm really a big believer in daily practice in whatever you're doing. And this specifically also takes daily practice. The good thing is that it has long-term effects and these effects will stay with you. And also every hour, every week, every month that you would practice this, you would enjoy long-term effect. It also has far and wide effect. So it can really take your lovemaking to the next level. It can transform your lovemaking. It can even help make you multi-orgasmic. It can affect how much you are attractive to your partner and also how much you are attractive to other people like clients and colleagues and so on. So how confident you are, how well you function in your business? So yes, it affects all areas of your life. Meditation is one of the first aspects, one of the first ways to use your mind to move your sexual energy. And many times meditation is misunderstood or misrepresented in society. So you don't have to be religious. You don't have to, it's not a religious practice. It's, you can call it a spiritual practice, or you can call it an awareness or a consciousness practice. So if you have a mind, and if you are aware of the idea of being aware and conscious, this is what meditation is about. Meditation is not about controlling the mind. I would sometimes also use the term controlling your mind, but actually it's not about controlling your mind. It's about observing the mind. The idea with meditation is that, you're not trying to control what is there, you're observing what thoughts are arousing in your, arising in your mind. And after you are able to observe the mind, then gradually you're also able to quiet the mind. You realize that you are not your mind. So when you realize you are not your mind, and you are the self which is observing the mind, the mind naturally would quiet down. And even if there will be thoughts, you will not be identified with the thoughts. And the thoughts would be like, you know, you're observing outside of yourself, a chair, a table, the sky, other people, laptop. And the same thing would be in your mind, there'll be thought, thought, emotion, story, expectation, reaction. And you would notice that you are not your mind. And meditation gradually would allow you to develop presence, consciousness, and awareness. And something which is very important to also include here is that meditation is a tool for success. Meditation is a technique for success. Meditation is the common denominator shared among many people who are successful in many areas of life, successful creatively, successful financially, successful socially, and obviously successful spiritually. So many, many people who are successful in all of these different realms have all, used to have some kind of meditation practice, okay? If you follow Tim Ferriss, Tim Ferris, this is one of the things that he observed with people who are successful. They all have a meditative practice, okay? So this is definitely something that is gonna help you with all of the areas in your life. I'm suggesting to start really simple with the meditation, and the best way to meditate, and actually this is a way to quiet your mind, which then leads to a meditation, is to count your breath. So let's say you breathe in, breathe out, that's one. And then again, inhale, exhale, that's two. And you're counting internally inside your mind. And then inhale, exhale, three. And so on until seven. When you reach seven, you start again from one, but then you count until 14. And then you reach 14, you count again from one till 21, and then from one till 28, and so on, incrementing by seven every time. And the reason we are counting in increments of seven is that if you are just counting from one to 100, for example, you will count mechanically, we'll count automatically. We'll not be aware of what number you are at. And as you're counting, if you suddenly forget what number you're on, just go back to one. So go back to the basic cycle of counting. If you're not sure if you're counting until 14, or counting until 21 in a specific moment, again, go back to one till seven. This is something, this is a very powerful meditation technique or technique to calm the mind. And this would lead us then to the next kind of meditation, which is to observe your thoughts. So after you've been counting for awhile, you can stop counting and you can just observe the thoughts. And don't react to the thoughts, don't label the thoughts. Just be aware that thoughts are there. You can also observe sensations. And this is the basis of the vipasyana, or vipassana, as some people call it, meditation. So observing the sensations in your body, observing the sexual energy, the aspect of feel, the second aspect of the model is also about that. See what's going on in your body, see how aroused you are, where the sensations are going. And this will also help you to become multi-orgasmic by recognizing that there's already a lot of sensation and a lot of pleasure in your body. Observe your breath. Again, part of the vipasyana meditation tradition, which I recommend to take a retreat in vipasyana. So you observe your breath going in and out. You don't try to change it, you don't try to control it. You're just aware of breath coming in, breath going out. So that's another very, very simple and very powerful meditation technique. In order to meditate, by the way, to do, let's call it a formal meditation, it's good to sit on a chair. You can sit cross legged if that is comfortable for you, but basically sit in a way that you can focus on your mind and your body's not gonna trouble you or bother you too much. It's important to know when you're meditating, and I would recommend daily meditation. So everything that you do daily has a better effect on you. And specifically I would suggest in the morning. So the first thing that you do after you brush your teeth is meditate. And you can start with 10 minutes of meditation. If that's too much for you, start with five minutes of meditation. If that's too much for you, start with one minute of meditation, okay? So if you don't have any meditative or meditation practice, start even with one or two minutes. And I would suggest going through 20, 30 minutes a day, this is a really nice meditation practice. My meditation teacher would obviously recommend one hour or even two hours. So see if you can even create time for that. I also recommend you to meditate before sex. So if you watch the video about how to have tantric sex, you would see that this is part of the sacred union ritual. So meditating before sex allows you to calm your mind, allow you to be aware of what's going in your mind. And it kind of like prepares you to sex in some way. And if you don't have the 20 minutes to meditate, you can meditate for two minutes before sex. Simply close your eyes before meeting your partner, be aware of your thoughts, be aware of your sensations. And this is already a good start. And then you meditate during sex. What do I mean by meditating during sex is, you know, you're not necessarily stopping and sitting in a cross-legged position and meditating for 20 minutes. The idea is that sex becomes a meditation. Sex becomes something, a practice that you are so aware. You're so present, you are able to meditate while you're having sex, and you're able to have sex while you're meditating. Basically all becomes one. This is the goal of tantra, you can say. The goal of tantra is to use sex and the sexual energy, to use the polarity between a man and woman or between the masculine and the feminine in order to go beyond the body, to go beyond the pleasure, to go beyond the self. So sex can become a meditation. You can obviously also do this when you are pausing to kind of like bring it back down to earth a little bit. When you're pausing, you don't have to sit cross legged on a chair or whatever. Just observe your thoughts, observe your sensations, do a little bit of the counting while you're pausing. And this would allow you to relax. This would allow you to move your sexual energy as well. And meditate after sex. So you would find that your meditation after sex are special, they might be really charged. Your mind actually might be more clear, more relaxed after sex, specifically when you didn't ejaculate. Again, I'm really recommending taking the practice of not ejaculating for days, for weeks and even for months if you're able to go that far and meditating after a few weeks of non ejaculating, there will be a difference. You would definitely notice the difference. Clearing your mind, how to specifically clear your mind. I would suggest avoid fantasizing. Fantasizing is not bad, it's not evil, it's not wrong, but it's important that you focus on the here and now, not on sometime, someone, elsewhere. Fantasizing usually includes fantasizing about some other person or some your past lover, or some celebrity porn star, whatever, okay. And instead, it's important that you stay present with a sensation, stay present with yourself, with your partner in the present moment, okay? So this is like the power of now in sex. Another reason that you avoid fantasizing is that you might create some kind of like unrealistic expectations of yourself. And it's important to focus on what is here, what is now, what you are doing, what is happening, what you can do. And this would also connect you deeper to your partner instead of being engulfed in some fantasy, you are fully connected to your partner. You are feeling her, seeing her. And that's kind of like one of the secrets of great sex, the connection. Another idea of clearing your mind is to detoxify your mind. And as I've mentioned a few times, I would really suggest eliminating porn. If you're watching porn, you are basically basically seeing all of these images of men ejaculating, and objectifying women and sex which is mechanical and technical and very unrealistic. And also I would really suggest you to detoxify your mind, to eliminate porn. And another thing is to eliminate aggressive, dark and low influences. And maybe the best example is horror pictures. I personally don't really understand why people see and even enjoy horror pictures. I even see sometimes just scary movies or thrillers and stuff, some movies with intense themes and even documentaries. And that would stay in my mind. The next day or days later, I would still have some of those images. Personally, even when I see comical, comical horror pictures, there's still, the images are still still there the next day, and those images are floating in your mind. So eliminate that, eliminate stuff which is very aggressive as well. And also I like action movies as well, there's no problem. But if you'll find that you're constantly watching aggressive, violent movies, ask yourself why, ask yourself what's going on there? and aim to eliminate that. So how to focus your mind, specific practices of focusing your mind with the intention of moving your sexual energy. So focused on your why, again, so important. I've probably repeated it so many times in this program, focus on why you are having sex. Why your mind is telling you that you want to ejaculate, and then understanding why it tells you not to ejaculate, or at least not to ejaculate fast. Go back to your why, make sure that you have gotten like three words that represent your why. Focus your mind on your mission. So before you start to make love, remind yourself, what is the mission of your relationship even? Why are you in relationship? What is the mission of you in this world, you in this life? Okay, what's your career about? What is your business about? What is your gift about? How can you give your gift to more people? And I know for some of you, it might seem far-fetched. You all tell us about techniques, advanced techniques to move our sexual energy. But this is literally a technique because when you are going into a sexual experience, remembering why you're here, remembering you're having sex, remembering why you made the commitment to decrease ejaculation, this is something that's gonna help you in the moment. So instead of your sexual energy being focused on, oh, I want to get as much as much pleasure as I can, you are instead focusing on, oh, this is a tool for my personal development. Focus on love and connection, not just on pleasure. Pleasure is great. And you would experience much more pleasure than ever before. And you will be able to pleasure your partner. But focus on love and focus on connection. Focus on even understanding what that means on connecting to yourself, on connecting to your partner, on receiving her love, on expressing love in many ways. And don't just try to get or to give another moment of pleasure. Consecration and prayer is something that I've mentioned before, and it's worth repeating in this context. When you consecrate before you make love, consecrate means that you close your eyes and you offer the experience, the sexual energy, the effects of this to your relationship, to your mission, to your why. And if you are believing in something which is beyond you, you are also praying and asking for guidance. And again, this is something that helps you to focus your mind. Another, let's say more practical, more practical techniques to focus your mind is to focus on the upward movement. It's not a physical movement, you are taking your energy with your mind. You're taking a sexual energy from your genitals area, and you're pulling it up with your mind up your body, specifically to your third eye in the middle of your forehead, or, generally to your head. So you're feeling like you're flushing the sexual energy up. You're pulling it with a rope or there's an elevator going up. So that's a visualization technique as well. So keep focusing on moving your energy up your body with your mind. This sometimes take some, it takes some time to master or to learn this technique. It took me some time to learn this technique but some people would be able to get it faster than others. Focus your mind also as an alternative, not just on the upward movement, but generally expand your consciousness to include all of your body. Focus on what the sensations in your feet, what are the sensations in your hands, in your chest, in your back, and so on? Focus your mind on the chakra. Specifically, I would recommend the higher upper chakras. So the heart chakra, the throat chakra, the third eye chakra in the middle of the forehead and also the crown chakra at the top of the head. And when you focus your mind on the chakra, the energy goes there. So there's a tantric, there's a tantric slogan, let's call it, a tantric slogan, which says, where awareness goes, energy flows. So if you're focusing on the body part like your head or if you're focusing on a chakra, like your third eye chakra, your energy would follow your awareness, and your energy would leave your sexual area, genitals, your cock and move. Some of it would move higher to that chakra. And this is really one of the deeper techniques to move your energy. And also it has effect not on your sex, but when you put, for example, energy into your third eye, you become more lucid. You become more clear in your mind as well. Focus your mind on a mantra. Mantra again is, using mantra is a technique. So for example, the mantra that most people use and know is OM or AUM. AUM is actually the better way to say it, A-U-M. And if you keep reciting in your head, in your mind, "AUM, AUM, AUM," this is something that it is gonna focus your mind on the mantra and away from the genitals, away from the sexual energy. Make sure that you're not disconnecting from your body and not disconnecting from your partner. And the idea with these practices is that you're expanding your consciousness to include both the object of concentration and also your body, and also your partner. So you're not disconnecting from your body or partner. You're actually including them in your field of awareness. And mantra is a very, very strong, very powerful technique in yoga. And mantra is actually considered one of the three biggest types of techniques in yoga. So you can experiment with, if you don't believe all this Hindi, Sanskrit, whatever, mantras like AUM, you can focus on the mantra of love. You can just say, "Love, love, love," in your mind. And you can focus on the mantra of kind of like existence. You can say, "I am, I am," just affirming your existence. They are also techniques to expand your mind. And I've mentioned it just a moment ago, but you can expand your mind to include your partner. So think about your field of consciousness, like a bubble. And usually the bubble is around your body, okay? Mainly your head. And as men, many times our bubble is just in our head and we are a bit disconnected from our body. So expand that bubble, visualize that bubble, including your partner. And you might have experiences which are very special. You might experience that you're actually feeling your partner in a different way than you do when you just look at her. So you are expanding your consciousness into your partner's body. Something that David Deida talks about, and your partner might feel the effects of it. So she might feel your presence penetrating her and she might feel aroused by that. She most probably will feel aroused by that. Transfiguration is another part of, another way of expanding your mind. And just to remind you, transfiguration is seeing your partner beyond Jane, Mary, whatever her name is, but seeing her as the goddess, seeing her as Shakti, seeing her as the manifestation of the divine feminine, of the universal feminine. Seeing her as a queen, seeing her as whatever archetype it is that is meaningful for you. So you're expanding your mind in this way. And then the sex expands. And then you're not just John who's having sex with Mary and ejaculates after five minutes like most men in the world. You are god, you're Shiva. You are a king making love with his queen, okay. And that's gonna move your energy into higher and deeper realms. You can expand your consciousness, that bubble to the room as well, so that the bubble doesn't just include yourself, doesn't just include yourself and your partner but it's kind of like you're reaching out with your consciousness out into the room. You may be even aware of what's going on outside the room. You are hearing sounds from the street. It's like you are able to float above your body, like you see sometimes in movies where people die and their soul floats above their body. This is an expansion of consciousness. And again, I'm mentioning these things, and I know that they might kind of like fly above your head literally, and be too much for you. And if this is the case, don't worry about this. Go back to the basic techniques or go to the other advanced techniques, which are much more physical. I include it here because I think it's important. I don't want to treat you like some child, and just give you the really simple techniques. I wanna give you what I learned and what I practiced and what I experienced, okay. So this is where you really take your practice, you take your lovemaking and you take your life to the next level. So I would invite you, I would recommend to you to consider it, and maybe to even try it and practice it for a while. So what did you learn from this presentation? Write three things in your journal, three takeaways, three techniques, three things that inspired you from this video. And, again, I really recommend writing, actually writing in your journal or typing that on a file on your computer. I also recommend you to share in the comments below these three takeaways, and also share your progress in the Facebook group. How are you going? How is your control over your ejaculation? How is your sex life? So, this has been using your mind to move your energy, and I'll see you at the next video. - Now that you're starting the ejaculation control program, there's something that you need to understand. (speaker clears throat) This is not necessarily easy. So, you know, it's a good news, it's possible but bad news, it's not easy. And I wanna share with you a few reasons why this is not so easy, why this might be challenging for you. So the first thing is that you are biologically evolutionary programmed to come fast. So thousands of years ago, when we were cavemen and we would have sex, it's like we needed to come as fast as possible because there was not really any reason to last longer and do like, I don't know, wild animals around and everything was telling us, you know, just come as fast as possible. So, impregnation happens even if a man, you know, lasts for only like one second. So that's evolutionary. So, your body's programmed in a way that makes you come as fast as possible. And throughout human history, this is what happened. Okay, sex was seen many times as a procreational thing. And your biology is programmed in such a way to make you aroused and to make you ejaculate and to make you want to do that. So there's different hormones working in your body that making you really, really agitated and really like, really one single-minded focus on coming. So you just have this thought in your mind that you just wanna come, you just wanna come, you just wanna come and that's programmed in your genes. So in some ways, this program, this practice is helping you become superhuman in some way. You know what it's like you rise beyond the human biological reflex. You're able to control your body, you're able to control your mind you're able to be aware of them and go beyond them. Another reason that it is so difficult to control your ejaculation to last longer and specifically to wait a few days and specifically, a few weeks, and a few months between ejaculations is that you've done this all your life. You've ejaculated all your life. If you are 32 now and you started when you were 12, you've been doing it for 20 years. That's a long time. If you've been doing this a few times a week if you've been ejaculating, through masturbation and sex a few times a week. Your mind is programmed that the moment that the sexual pleasure, the sexual stimulation a few minutes later, or for some, in a few seconds later you're gonna come. So that's something which you really need to work against to develop new habits in order to break this one. Another thing that is making it difficult for you to last longer and a challenge that you might find on this program is that nobody around you is practicing this. So 99% of the world is, of the men in the world, are ejaculating at the end of masturbation or sex. So you don't have kind of like friends around you to support you in that. And this is why the forum of this program is really important. So go to the forum and there's men there on the same path, on the same journey in this program who are dealing with the same things and you can support each other. And you can also support other people through your own experience. So the fact that nobody around you is doing that is true, but at least in this little world of this ejaculation control program, you can find the support. Another reason that men are so programed to come fast is that, again, we have programmed, our 21st century society is programmed for instant gratification. You know, if Amazon used to deliver things super fast, it used to, you know, take, you know whatever, three to five days and then they had like one day shipping. And now it's like there's the drones that can get it to your door in 30 minutes or so. You know, we want our pizzas delivered immediately. We want, you know, sugar. We want everything like immediate. And this is the same thing with ejaculation. It's like your mind is taking instant gratification. With any perceived lack, it's only a perceived lack. So with any perceived lack, immediately it wants to compensate with some pleasure. Another reason that you are so programmed to ejaculate and it's might be a little bit challenging to change your way and to develop this new habit is porn. In 99, again, percent of, I didn't do the statistics, I didn't watch that much porn, but in porn, it's like 99% of the time, there's a come shot, there's a happy shot. So you always see come. You always see semen. You always see the white stuff in porn. And you can even say that porn is obsessed with showing that. Because I don't know about you, but, you know, it's like in the past, when I was, you know, ejaculating 15 years ago, I would like to ejaculate inside a woman. And porn shows that that usually man ejaculate outside the woman. So, they're obsessed with that. So if you've seen, you know, a few hours, you know, maybe many hours of porn, you've been brainwashed with the white stuff. So your mind thinks it's like with every sexual experience, exploration, there is the white stuff, there is coming, there is ejaculation. So you need to change that mindset. And one of the best things to do obviously is to stop watching porn. Look at the video called, a Ted talk called The Great Porn Experiment, which talks about that. And this is not so much a program to help you stop watching porn, but you can seek those things on the internet and many of them are free, and that will help you with that. Another reason that it's difficult for men to last longer and to wait for weeks and months between ejaculations is that they don't have a why, and this is, you know, we covered it in the why video. And so go back there and look at the why video, look at the five pages article and find your reasons for that. You know, so many men just don't have a why. They don't know that it's even possible and that's why they don't do it. Another other reason that another thing which is challenging for men, after a few days and a few weeks of non-ejaculation is that they become hypersensitive. It's like they are so sensitive, they can hardly penetrate a woman. So there's practices in the program coming up in the next lessons that would help you to become less sensitive. But this might happen to some degree. Another things that you might get similar to sensitive, you might get horny like crazy. And you just want to, you know, push your cock into any possible thing. (loud thud) You know, and this is what happened. This is why men, you know, again, masturbate and ejaculate because they're so horny, they don't know what to do with their energy. And again, there are practices in this program that will come later that will teach you what to do with it. But just be aware that that is a possibility, that this can happen. Similarly, to being horny, it's like you would feel that you're carrying a new certain kind of energy which you're not used to carrying. Like you'll be full of energy, you'll be vibrating with energy. You feel that you're like buzzing and many people can not hold that. And this is why people ejaculate, this is why people numb themselves with drugs and would work. This is why people win the lottery and then lose it because they're vibing with the energy of money and they can't hold it. So they, you know, buy whatever cars and yachts and then they just lose the whole thing. And another reason that it's difficult to go beyond your need to ejaculate is that actually it's a form of addiction. Anything that you cannot stop for more than a few weeks, and I would say more than a few months even, is an addiction. So this is not a value judgment. I'm not saying anything bad about you, but you have to be aware that this is something which is so ingrained in you and you've been doing so many times, it is an addiction. So once you separate orgasm and ejaculation, once you're able to have beautiful, beautiful orgasms without ejaculating, you're breaking this addiction. You're having the benefits of sex without having the disadvantages of everything that we talked about in the why video. And finally, there's a lot of misinformation around you that would tell you to do stuff or to practice ejaculation control in a way that doesn't really serve you. So this program will bring you everything, all of this information that supports you in your practice. And very soon, you'll be able to last much longer than you've ever lasted before. To pleasure your partner, to connect with your partner with love, to feel more powerful and to become a confident lover. So know that everything's gonna be okay and you're gonna do great. And just follow the exercise in the program, go to the forum and seek help from other people. Write me an email as well if you need my support and I'm sure that you can do this. So here's to your being a confident lover See you soon. - [Instructor] Dealing with accidents. So you've been on the program for a bit and you've been watching the videos about the why and what, and hopefully you've been starting to do some of the exercises. And as you start practicing, you might experience some accidents and some issues with the practice. And this is what this video is about. This is specifically about the issue of stopping. So we have why, feel, stop, move, and transform. And we're gonna talk specifically about stopping but we're gonna actually relate to all of the aspects. Just as a reminder, what premature ejaculation is. Premature ejaculation according to my definition is coming before both partners are ready for it, which means that an accident is any time that you ejaculate before both you and your partner chose to. And if you're one of the people practicing complete control of ejaculation and minimizing ejaculation to once every few weeks, that means every time you have an ejaculation that you really didn't plan and didn't choose. So what are some kinds of accidents? Well, what do I call accidents is missing the point of no return by yourself or you're masturbating or self-pleasuring, missing the point of no return while you're having sex or just wanting to last longer but somehow decided to ejaculate in the heat of the moment. The important thing with accidents is it's kind of like have a balance between two approaches to that. So some people are very harsh with themselves and I would suggest that you don't be too harsh on yourself. I definitely used to be too harsh on myself. But on the other hand also, don't get too lenient. And I see that a lot with people who are starting to practice ejaculation control, they keep having accidents and they keep having this attitude of like, ah, it's okay. I surrender, I accept myself. It's all natural. Well, actually the problem is that they're not very serious about their practice. They're not practicing. They're not committed. So I would say, have a balance between these two approaches and you establish already a baseline. And if you haven't done so, please do that. Which means chart how much you've, how long you've been lasting when you just started the program from the moment of penetration, generally how good your sex is, what is the maximum time, what is the minimum time that you will last? And then such yourselves with some goals. So if you wanna last twice longer or if you wanna have sex for half an hour or for for an hour, that's a goal. So if you're not reaching that goal, it's like you need to practice more. You need to understand that you can put some consequences to the practice, which means that if you have accidents, you would experience some consequences. And excuse me for the little bit extreme example. But I would say if you had a gun to your head, would you still have an accident? Which means if something is really really at stake, if you have skin in the game, if you have really a risk of losing something, if you ejaculate, if you have an accident, I would suggest it, I would say that probably you wouldn't have that accident, probably would control yourself. So have a think about that. And this is part of the why, obviously. We're gonna get there in a moment. There's one consequence that some people use, which mean if they have an accident, they donate to an unworthy cause. Unworthy cause means you don't donate to your favorite charity, instead you donate to a charity or a cause or an organization which is totally opposite your values, totally against your values, totally something you believe is bad and evil. So, I think the most common example is donating to the KKK, to the Ku Klux Klan or to whatever other, donating to the logging association of Brazil or whatever, the people who are cutting down the rainforest. I don't know. So this is something, again, that you tell yourself, you make a commitment that if you're going to have an accident, you are actually gonna lose money and not just lose money. You're gonna support a cause that you don't believe in. And there's also websites that you can register on together with a friend and the friend holds you accountable. And if you do not achieve what you set out to achieve, that you put some money in an escrow account and that goes to one of those unworthy causes. There's also the idea of punishment. Some people punish themselves with physical pain or something. I don't actually recommend that, okay. It's like it just creates this guilt and shame and it's not a really good energy to go with. Instead, what I would really recommend that's basically the biggest recommendation. If you have accidents with ejaculation control is to double your practice or to triple your practice or quadruple your practice. And we're gonna get into what that means in a moment. There's a few major reasons for accidents and these didn't feel, didn't stop and didn't move. And you probably see that the connection to the model, feel, stop, and move. And feel and stop is the major ones because you need to feel and to stop in order to stop yourself in time. You need to feel how aroused you are and then you have to make sure that you stop before it's too late. There's also a few other reasons we're gonna cover today for these accidents is having a week why, not really having the reasons why to last longer, why to even avoid ejaculation for days and weeks. Seeking pleasure, trying to please. Lacking commitment and conviction. Lacking self practice about the point of no return and also not practicing sublimation, which is moving the energy. Something that, I kind of like, I call it accidents but you notice that I keep putting quotation marks around accidents because there are no accidents. If you're having accidents, there's a reason for that. So it's not really something out of the blue. There are reasons for these accidents. So let's start with why. And when you're dealing with accidents, you need to reflect if you have an accident, why you had an accident, okay. Kind of like, if something, whatever happens, make a short reflection analysis and say, oh, it happened because I did this and I didn't do that. And for example, if I reflect on one of my last accidents was I think around two years ago and I was with this beautiful woman and I was a little bit in my ego trying to show her what a great lover I am and going into crazy positions. And I wasn't really focused on how aroused I was. So I missed a spot and I had to pull out and so on. So that's an example of of looking at why you had an accident. Maybe you made love when you were tired and on a full stomach or after wine or whatever. So these might also be reasons why you would have accidents. So ask yourself what you neglected to do. And if you have frequent accidents, ask yourself why you keep having them. And what's the pattern that you're seeing. So maybe the pattern will be, ah, I keep having that, doing that and that's why I keep having accidents. So it's one kind of accident and not another. Look at your why. And there's kind of like another option, another aspect to the why, which is, if are actually subconsciously choosing to ejaculate or to ejaculate before you would like to, why do you actually choose to do that? What are the values and beliefs that you are carrying that are causing you to ejaculate? What are the secondary gains? So for example, if this is actually on a subconscious level, something you're choosing, what are you gaining from that? For example it may be you are avoiding the depth of intimacy with your woman or maybe you are avoiding your mission. Maybe you're using it as an excuse. It's like, oh, I took a self-sabotage thing. I wanna feel bad. Hence I come too fast. And speaking of mission with the why, it's not just about lasting longer and pleasuring your partner, it's about walking your mission. It's about sharing your gift. It's about helping other people making a dent in the universe. So how much are you on your mission? How much do you know what your mission is? And maybe you don't know your last mission, but it's like decide on a mission for this year, a mission for this month. It's like find something that you believe in that you can be committed to and understand that this practice of ejaculation control is serving your mission. So deepen your why. And I would really recommend to you to watch, listen, read the why section again, and really do the exercises, worst case scenario, best case scenario and so on. So really, really start with why. (chuckles) Again, as a reminder, I put kind of like exclamation marks over this, which is feel, stop, and move. Okay, this is the Israeli drill sergeant, army drill Sergeant speaking to you. You have to make sure you feel, which means you are focused on how aroused you are. You're focused on the sensations in your body. You are constantly aware of, on a scale of zero to 100, how aroused you are. You make sure that you stop in time and you make sure, in time means way before you are at the point of no return. And move means that you keep moving the energy. I would suggest again and zoom reminder. I know I've mentioned it earlier and I'm gonna probably repeat this again in the program. Practice 30 days of edging. Edging is self-pleasuring, what's sometimes called masturbation. I like to call it self-pleasuring, together with practicing stopping way before the point of no return. So going on the zone of between 40 to 60% of your pleasure, let's say if the point of no return is 80, you're going 40 to 60% of your pleasure. And practice pausing or stopping in various ways. So, let's say you come usually after eight minutes. So pause after half that time, pause after four minutes. If you are usually coming off to two minutes, pause after one minute, okay. And then pause means either stay in sign and don't move or actually pull out or actually move away. And then when you pause, your wait two to four minutes, and then you continue. And again you have to wait relatively to how aroused you are how close you are to the point of no return, and allow you the sexual energy to drop a little bit. You can also pause every single minute, four minutes. So one minute you're moving, one minute you're pausing. That's a beautiful way to make love by itself. Pause every stroke so you can, going in, out, in out means kind of like you move inside a few centimeters and then you pause when you change position, you pause when you penetrate, you pause when you do anything, it's like keep pausing. As I mentioned, pause at 50% of your pleasure or arousal. And as a side note, by the way, we're talking a lot about pause. And this is a transition period and you need to practice this. So in a few weeks, or in a few months, you'll be able to make love more continuously without pausing. I still pause even to this day after 10 or 15 years of doing this practice. And it's great. The pause by itself is a beautiful way to deepen your love making. It's not just about moving inside. Speaking of moving, you don't just pause, the idea is that you pause and move, you pause and move, you pause and move. So you're moving the energy whenever you pause. Then talking about feeling how aroused you are, there's something that we say in Hebrew and the translation to it is if there's any doubt, there is no doubt. Okay, if you have any sliver of a doubt, if you are too close to the point of no return, there's no doubt. So when in doubt, pause. When in doubt, stop. When in doubt, pull out. When in doubt, sublimate, move the energy. So that's the two pieces. It's like pause and move. (laughs) Yeah, so when in doubt, there's a few things in order of importance that you do is that first you pause and then you pull out and then you move away and then you keep subliming or moving the energy. And look back again at the section of moving the energy. There's basic methods there, there's advanced methods and you need to practice this daily. So moving to energy is not just something that you do. If you make love once a week, it's not just something you do once a week. This is something you need to practice daily. And it's, as I mentioned in that section, it would help you in other aspects in your life as well. It will make you more energetic, more charged and able to control your emotions as well. So I would say at least 10 minutes. Again, whenever I say at least 10 minutes, it usually means 20, okay, or more. I have friends who have practiced at some times an hour of different sublimation techniques, moving the energy techniques, okay. So this is, learning to move your energy is what allows you to last longer to be in penetration and movement and if you want pounding and intense sex and so on for very long time. So keep practicing moving. Make sure that you move your energy before sex. So you start with 10 minutes of moving the energy practice before sex. Make sure that you keep pausing and moving your energy during sex and make sure that you practice moving the energy after sex, otherwise you might get blue balls. You might feel emotional, horny, heavy, tired. So really, keep doing this. And again, keep subliming or moving the energy constantly especially during the pauses. So, what is an accident and why do I put quotation marks around the word accident? So, guys would come to me and they would say, oh, I had an accident. I don't know why. Suddenly it was too late. I have no idea what happened. And I would ask them, where were you at the time? And they would say, well, I was inside her, obviously. So, herein lies the problem. Because you were inside her, because you didn't take the precautions, you didn't do what it takes, this is why you ejaculated, you had an accident. It wasn't suddenly. And there is, again, a lot that I hear from my clients and they say, it wasn't me. If you know that slightly bad hip hop song, it wasn't me. So I keep hearing this a lot, okay. It wasn't me. It was because of her. She made me do it. There's a few things they say. She asks me to go harder or faster or stronger. That's why I ejaculated. That's why I had an accident. Or she was about to orgasm so I kind of like gave it, it's like I gave fair everything. It's like she was about to orgasm so I decided to go for it. It felt like she sucked or pulled the ejaculate out of me. Okay, this is something, again, I hear from men. Or, she plainly asked me to ejaculate. So, because she asked me to ejaculate, I did. So I would say, take some fucking responsibility. Okay. This is, I talk about masculinity here and not just about sex and being the great lover and the greatest lover in town or whatever. It's like, take responsibility, have a commitment. And that's something that I feel really missing from a lot of new age sodo tantric circles. Okay. So take responsibility over your commitment and over your practice. So, ask yourself, who's in control? And I would say, you have to be in control. Whose body it is? It's your body. Whose life force is it? It's your life force. Whose commitment is it? It's yours, it's your commitment. It's all yours. So who feels shitty after you come? Both of you. So, this is the important thing to remember. You have all of these reasons to why you ejaculate and why you have accidents and so on. But remember that you have the responsibility not just over yourself, but over both of you because most often when you ejaculate, sex ends. It's game over and you feel disconnected and it's like, so both of you will feel shitty after that. So you are the one who needs to feel, stop, and move. And yeah, she might support you a little bit and so on, but you need to feel, stop, and move. So you need to talk with her and you need to explain her that, remind her why you're doing this practice, why you are delaying your ejaculation, the fact that it's good for both of you. Ask for her understanding, patience, support, cooperation. And again, it's all in the making love section. So there's a few videos there. And this is something that would really help you in communicating that and getting her support while you are learning this practice. Are there other things related to the, it wasn't me topic which is, don't be attached to her orgasm. And also for those guys who tell me, oh, she was about to orgasm so I decided to go for it. And I knew I'm gonna ejaculate but at least she had an orgasm. She can have another orgasm in a few minutes with your, either with your cock or with your fingers or mouth or whatever, but she can orgasm again. You cannot ejaculate again. If you ejaculate again, it's game over. So especially when you go beyond your 30s and 40s, okay, it's really difficult to get up again and ejaculate again for most men, all right. And even if they manage to, it doesn't feel the same like that first time. Remember that you can orgasm without you inside her, okay. So, you can pleasure her with other, with your, again, mouth and hands and so on. But it's not just that, women sometimes or many times, when I pull out, they suddenly stop moaning and it's like they pretend like they don't have pleasure anymore but actually if you read my book, "Orgasm Unleashed" and hopefully she reads my book as well, you have to understand that the pleasure doesn't stop the moment that the friction stops. We are brainwashed. We are so used to this idea that the pleasure comes with penetration and friction. So really make her aware that she still have pleasure, even if you pulled out. And remember, it's not just about orgasm, aim for pleasure and connection, really deep into lovemaking, deep into love, deep into connection. It's not just about orgasm, okay. So that's really what it's about. So I'm an orgasm expert. And if I'm telling you that, it's probably true. Don't try to please her. And again, there's this thing that so many men get to be to be a little boys. It's like they're trying to please their mommy. So don't try to please her. And she might want you to go faster, harder, and penetrate her deeper and whatever, or actually to ejaculate. But if you're committed to this practice and if you have a strong why, be consistent with that and don't try to please her. Weather the storm, which means many men try to weather the storm. It's like, oh, she was orgasming so I tried to be inside. And I try to be inside her while she was orgasming, but why? It's like, why not avoid it? You can ask her to tell you when she's about to orgasm and you can pull out and with the right breath and sound and movement and some help from you, she can keep orgasming and you can be outside of her. And that's okay. 'Cause if you'll be inside her, you'll probably gonna come. Okay. So, yeah, sometimes you don't, don't try to go with this ego thing. It's like, oh, I managed to, I will try to be inside when she orgasms. No, just pull out, right. Seeking pleasure. Relating to that again is something that I see many men do. They try to get another moment of pleasure, another second of pleasure, aiming for that multi being, multiple orgasmic man and so on. So it's like, don't seek pleasure. And I would ask, go back to looking why you're having sex. Are you having sex for pleasure or are there deeper more meaningful reasons to have sex? And I don't say that pleasure is not meaningful. Pleasure is great. Pleasure is medicinal, but they should be other reasons as well. Let go of the pleasure for a while. I'm not saying that you need to let go of the pleasure forever. And we do have a section about, lecture about being a multi-orgasmic man. But also start with letting go of the pleasure so you're not attached to the pleasure. Okay, you're not having sex for the pleasure. Discover and explore other kinds of pleasure and that can be physical pleasure in your body but it can also be emotional mental pleasure, spiritual pleasure, the pleasure of bringing a woman to orgasm. Honestly, for years, it's like I would be so focused on that. That will be so fulfilling and will pleasurable for me to to bring a woman to pleasure, to bring a woman two hours of orgasm. So discover that kind of pleasure. And another thing that I actually learned this from one of my clients is to replace ejaculation, the pleasure of ejaculation with other kinds of pleasure which are non-sexual. So for example, maybe you are craving touch. Maybe you're craving human touch, female touch. So go and have a massage, go and have a sauna, go and have a bath, a warm bath, or a cool bath or a cold swim or whatever if you're in a hot climate. Go out to nature. Enjoy quality food. And notice I'm writing quality food, not too much food. So we're not going to have junk food when we're seeking pleasure. Really treat yourself to some really quality food. Treat yourself to quality art. And again, there's pleasure in witnessing art or in creating art, okay. I personally would have pleasure with creating. So if I'm feeling that I am seeking pleasure and I'm feeling needed towards a woman or towards food, usually if I create, that fulfills me so much. Friends, hobbies, and so on. What if you're having frequent accidents? What is frequent? What is frequent? More than once a week when you're starting to practice is frequent. And later, more than once a month after a few months of practice, I would call that frequent. So there's a few things in order of kind of like severity that you would do. So one of them, you can avoid penetration for a week. You can explore non-penetrative sex, and that's very itself, a very beautiful practice. And then if that doesn't work, avoid genital touch, okay. So no genital touch. Especially make sure she doesn't touch your genitals for a week while you practicing edging and moving your energy and so on. But you might also wanna avoid touching her genitals and still making love with the whole body just without the genitals. If that doesn't work, avoid sex with her for a week. Okay, 'cause maybe that's too much. And I really recommend to you as you start to practice to go the practice of ejaculation control to go two to four weeks without sex, if that is possible. I know that's a very, very strong recommendation. Okay, learn how to master that by yourself. If you wanna have great sex, learn how to have great sex with yourself. If you are even having accidents when you're self-pleasuring avoid self-pleasuring for a week. That's also for men who are tempted to everyday, tempted to watch porn and so on. So you might wanna avoid self-pleasuring altogether for one week. And keep practicing. Keep practicing edging and moving the energy going on. Edging is actually for men going to the 50, 60% arousal and stopping there, don't really get to the edge of your 80% 'cause you're going to have an accident. What happens if you are too sensitive? Okay, some men get so sensitive that after a few days of practice or weeks of practices, specifically if they don't have ejaculate, suddenly they become much more sensitive and every little every little touch can get them over the edge. So first of all, I would say that's actually a good thing because as men, many times we are numb. So you would notice that with that sensitivity you'll have actually more sensations in your cock and throughout your body. And that's a good sign actually. So again, I've said it before, I will say it again. More sublimation. Sublimation is the practice of moving your sexual energy. You have to do this every day before, during, after sex and so on. More sublimation. Focus on relaxation and meditation. So if you're too sensitive, that sensitivity can be in your mind. So you can be actually anxious and also you can be tensing your body. So make sure that you are relaxing your body and you're also relaxing your mind. And it's not even so crazy to consider to meditate before you're having sex. And I know that I'm suggesting some things that might not be possible for everybody. If you have three kids and both of you are working a lot and taking care of your parents or whatever, maybe you don't have so much time, but maybe you can do this for four or five minutes or for two minutes, the meditation, relaxation before making love. That would already have some positive effects. Consider using thicker condoms just for a while. It's like, thicker condoms would make you a little bit less sensitive. I would not recommend creams and sprays that desensitize you but thicker condoms can work, especially for the beginning when you practice. Something which is a little bit more extreme for some people is fasting. So if you're feeling that you're too sensitive, you might have a lot of sexual energy in your body and try fasting for a day, going on a water fast for a day or two days. I recently went through seven days of fasting only on water. And that was amazing. So fasting might deplete from some of your sexual energy. Also avoid stuff like chocolate. Okay, so chocolate weed makes you too sensitive. Drugs make you too sensitive. Alcohol makes you too sensitive, okay. These are really things to avoid. Having food before sex makes you too sensitive. Consider having deep tissue massage because you might have a lot of energy stuck in your, growing in your genital area, genitals area. So have a deep tissue massage in order to move the energy in your body. And there's a few things to explore. I talk about them in the aspect about, sorry, in the section about making love. Just to mention them again, carezza is making loves with penetration but without friction. Exploring non-genital sex. Exploring yoni massage, which is massaging her yoni, massaging her vagina. And by the way, I needed to pull out so many times when I started to practice ejaculation control. And when I was pulling out, I was practicing yoni massage. And that's what led me to become a sexual healer and a sexual educator, and ultimately what led me to even create this program. Okay, so you'll be surprised what might happen when you pull out and pleasure your woman. Explore five element touch. The idea that you can touch each other in five different ways, okay. So that's a practice by itself. And again, more sublimation, more practices of moving the energy. And really experiment with different kinds of practices. Give a try to some of the practices that you didn't try earlier, that didn't work for you earlier and you might be surprised. Something that one of my clients shared with me about the practice. And he was saying, "I am closer with my partner "and we have reached extreme moments of connection "even without penetration, "which I didn't think was possible before this journey." He said, "I experienced the transformation "from what was a short, contrived pleasure seek "to deeper levels of spiritual communion." This is possible with non-genital sex, with non-penetrative sex. Okay, so that's, I think for in the beginning, it's really not a bad thing to experience, okay. And then as you keep practicing, you will be able to stay longer inside and you wouldn't have to pull out and you will have to pause less often, okay. So this, remember it's a journey. A few last pieces, last bits. Avoid the Chinese and Tibetan methods. So that's ideal further pressing the point, the million dollar point between your balls and your anus, kind of like squeezing it with your hands or squeezing all your muscles after you have already started to ejaculate. Just as a reminder, this is not recommended. It has really bad effects on your erection and prostate and so on. So really avoid this. So if you are ejaculating, try not to go for it. Just allow it to kind of seep through. And the one thing that you can do if you have an accident is to, if you're feeling that you already starting to ejaculate, you pass the point of no return, do the anabantha. That's one of the advanced techniques. And if that's too demanding, just empty your lungs from air and just hold it. And that would at least keep some of the sexual energy inside. Another, again, another reminder to relax. so explore relaxing. Make kind of a ritual. So there's two kinds of ritual. One of them is you can take a ritual to take the commitment of ejaculation control. Remind yourself of your why, remind yourself of the three biggest reasons, biggest goals that you wanna achieve in your life and dedicate the practice of ejaculation control to it. And the other way to practice a ritual is to do a short ritual before you, before you self-pleasure or before you have sex. It's a very beautiful thing to do this ritual with your partner and say, oh, we are having sex for expansion, for love, for connection, for a mission, for whatever. So when you do, rituals are very powerful. When you do a ritual that would send a signal to your subconscious that you're really serious about this. Part of the ritual is to pray or to consecrate. Consecrate, again, means to dedicate your practice, whatever you do, your sexual energies, your life, to your mission to God, to Allah, to something which is beyond you. Okay, whatever, however you call that. And I would suggest to you in order to avoid accidents to commit again, in the forum, in the Facebook group. To commit to the practice, to commit, especially if you are one of the guys who have taken the commitment not to ejaculate for 30 days or for 60 days or for 49 days, whatever your number is, commit to that, again, in the forum and say, I had an accident because one, two, three, I did this and that. And I'm taking the commitment again. I'm starting the counting again. Journal is another important thing. When you journal, you will remember things differently. Okay, and if you are having a lot of temptations to ejaculate, write that as well in your journal. And when you read it off the page suddenly will get a different angle on that. So this was a slightly longer video presentation about dealing with accidents. I hope that served you. I welcome you all to write below in the comments what are the three biggest takeaways that you have taken from this video and how this is serving you. - [Instructor] What to do when you're getting too horny? So this might happen to you after you start practicing ejaculation control and specifically after you avoided ejaculating for a few days or a few weeks which is obviously something that I highly recommend that you don't have to do that but it obviously takes your practice to the next level. So this is related to the move aspect of the five step model. And what to do about that? So if you're horny, it means you're alive, okay? Being horny is a very beautiful feeling of being alive as well. Yeah, you might be going a bit crazy about being horny, but that's actually a good sign, okay? That's a sign that it's working. If you are more horny than usual, it means that your sexual energy is building and because you're not losing it through frequent ejaculations and masturbation and sex. So it is working, it's building up, it's a good sign. And the question is, are you horny in your mind or are you horny in your body? And horny in your body means, frequent erections and your body's like feeling like you're cork like is feeling like it's going to explode even if you're not masturbating or having sex. So that's being horny in your body and horny in your mind is having obsessive thoughts about sex, about women. And I would say that that most men are more horny in their mind than they are in their body, okay? And obviously there's a combination of both, but mostly we are obsessively thinking about sex and women and so on and that doesn't really serve us, okay? So we're gonna talk about what to do about that. So yes, horny means that the sexual energies building up, it builds up but it doesn't move. You're not a ejaculating for a few days, your body is being full of this sexual energy and you're not moving it. So what to do, move it, move your sexual energy instead of depleting, instead of releasing through ejaculation, the moment that you start doing this practice you have to move your sexual energy and that's what's are we going to talk about. What I would really recommend it, especially at the beginning and every time that you're feeling really, really horny is stop everything and do an hour of strong sublimation. Sublimation is another word for moving the energy. I'm just using, moving the word moving because it's a much more common and simple word. And look back at two sections about the advanced techniques and also the basic techniques and make sure that you do a combination of both and specifically the advanced techniques are really, really strong and they would really move your energy. So do an hour of that. You're feeling too horny, do an hour of that in and how you feel, notice how you feel after that hour of sublimation. If you don't have enough time, do less, if you still feel horny after that one hour, try to do more, okay? So in the beginning it would take you some time to move your sexual energy 'cause you're not used to doing that. Your energy channels are not open enough to allow all of this energy to run through. Think of it like you have a pipe, well, you do we all have a pipe but you have another pipe up your spine, okay? And that pipe carries some water in it which is a sexual energy. And in the beginning, your pipe might be quite narrow. Okay, not a lot of sexual energy can move but the important thing is to keep practicing, moving the energy sublimation and then gradually the pipe gets bigger and you are able to move more sexual energy which means that you will be able to have sex for longer time and to have less pauses and to go more intensely if you choose. So again, moving the energy every day, I would, especially if you're horny, I would recommend half an hour twice a day, which is a total of an hour specifically morning and evening is, are really recommended. And I would suggest if you're feeling horny, first thing in the morning, move your energy do some strong sublimation, do that advanced techniques and try to do this for one week and maybe even for more, okay? Maybe even take a month commitment to do this twice a day for half an hour each time. Intense exercises is another thing that I personally like very much. So I walk out a little bit, I do calisthenics, I walk and jog and so on. And I find that intense exercise is something very easy to do. You don't need to master all of these yoga techniques that I'm sharing with you in the advanced technique section, instead, you just do some intense exercise, pushups, crunches, sit ups and so on. And this is something that is going to move your energy anyway. And you're gonna also build muscle, lose weight and that's also a great feeling, it also creates endorphins when you are exercising makes you feel good. And your woman's gonna think you're more sexy as well. So that's a bonus. Meditate and witness your mind. So, yeah, we wanna move the energy and that's something that is really important but also instead of all the time, having a condition and trying to change it, at least in the beginning, you can meditate. Meditate means that you close your eyes and you just witness your mind, you just see what's going on in your mind and notice that whatever thoughts they are about, a woman doing this to you, or you're doing this to a woman or whatever, these thoughts are not you. So notice that they are separate than you. Your cravings are separate in you and you are able to witness them means that you are not your mind, you are not your thoughts. And you would go in and out of identification with these thoughts. So just notice what's going on and notice how you identify with I am horny and I need to fuck and I need to get off, I need to ejaculate. And the moment that you realize that these are thoughts, you get some control over your thoughts, over your cravings, over your body, and over your life and this is obviously a practice that is going to serve you beyond ejaculation control. So you can do this for a bit and also by the way don't just meditate and witness your mind, also move the energy, okay? To physical stuff, to move your energy. If you are on a self-pleasuring practice for practice or commitment, I would suggest skipping it for a week or finding ways to do kind of like self-love rather than masturbation which means you can connect with your genitals but don't apply any friction, any movement, any squeezing, and maybe even avoid touching your genitals for a few days 'cause obviously you're building sexual energy when you're doing that. Another one of my favorites which is actually a technique that is very good again, for other things in your life is taking a cold shower. I take a cold shower every morning and sometimes even twice a day. And that's a cold shower in Melbourne in Australia which means it gets called in the winter. So, I love cold showers again, they make me feel good, they are antidepressants, they release endorphins in my body and you actually feel warm after a cold shower and this is what would move your sexual energy a little bit. And if a cold shower doesn't work enough, strongly enough, take a cold bath or take even an ice bath. And again, there's a lot of beautiful effect and benefits of a cold shower and ice baths. Obviously do your research and see what's the best way to do specifically ice bath can be a little bit challenging for the body if you have any medical conditions and just research Wim Hoff, for example, W-I-M and hoff is H-O-F-F also called the Iceman. So that's another thing you can do, Have sex, okay? I'm sure it didn't expect that one. So you can have sex, but be very careful because your body is so full of this energy and you probably really, really wants to enclave ejaculation and you're going to be so crazy a little bit that you might miss the point of no return. So if you are actually able to have sex without ejaculation, that might build your sexual energy, but that also might move your sexual energy because with all the physical movements of sex that can actually move the sexual energy away from your genitals. And also you'll be having sex when you're really, really passionate and really, really horny and really, really into your partner. And that's a beautiful state to be in. Help someone, I'm guessing you didn't expect that one as well, and help someone it's the idea that it's not about you. So when you're thinking, it's like, I am a horny, I want to fuck, I want this, I want that. And I would say that it's not about you, change the focus shift the focus to somebody else, see what you can do to help somebody. It can be your partner is something around the house, it can be somebody in your family or friend or a client, or just some random people. So take this sexual energy and don't just move it in your body, move it outside your body and move it into an action that serves someone. Remove sexual or visual stimulation and obviously remove porn and stop using porn if you're watching porn that is making you more horny. Okay, if you have pictures of babes in your, as your the wallpaper in your laptop or posters in your room. Yeah, that is making you more excited. If you're looking through men's magazines and looking at the pictures again, that makes you more excited. So try to remove that and again, we're not talking about abstaining, we're just saying for the moment, as you're feeling really horny, just remove some of those visual stimulation. Another thing to decrease and eliminate specifically with your diet is animal products. So if you are consuming animal products specifically read meat, this is something that is making you a little bit more horny. It connects you to the kind of like the animalistic side of yourself, okay? I'm not saying that if you become a vegetarian you will become a sexual by far, but this is something that has an effect on your soul. So experiment decreasing or eliminating would probably give you really, really visible results within a few weeks of practice so see how that works. Also chocolate and other aphrodisiacs try to decrease or eliminate them because they are raising your sexual energy, they're making you more excited. Tropical fruit as well, have some aphrodisiac effects, coffee as well as a stimulant. So try to remove stimulants and try also to experiment with fasting, do a water fast 24 hours, 36 hours. Again, fasting has beautiful effects outside of the ejaculation control practice and I invite you to research that as well. So if you're fasting for a few days, I'm guessing that you would have less sexual energy, okay? So I know that that some of those things sound extreme but many people actually do a day of fasting, a week and that has beautiful effects on your immune system, on your digestive system, on your state of mind, okay? So that's a beautiful practice by itself. Do something that really engages you, okay? Related to what I mentioned earlier with helping somebody do something that truly engages and inspires you, okay? It can be a hobby, it can be creating, it could be doing something in your business, it could be studying, if you're studying for an exam, yeah in the beginning you mind might be going crazy over sexual thoughts, but if you really go into it and you wrap you remind yourself of your why, that's something you can pull your sexual energy into. Act on your mission, obviously, the thing that the children gauge you more than anything else you'd inspire and motivate you more than anything else is your mission. So act on it or act on your business, act on your creativity, act on your service to other people, okay? So take that into specifically, if you take any kind of a more physical action and not just thinking about your mission, but getting on the phone, calling people, going earlier to the office, doing some work, reaching out to people, that's the idea of using your module to rock your business to unleash your full potential. Going a little bit more out there is to consecrate which means to offer or to dedicate your sexual energy and this whole practice to whatever you call that thing, we sometimes call god or life or your higher self, or again, your mission, okay? So you are charged with this energy, this is a creative energy and this is an energy that you can put into something. So offer that into whatever you consider the most important thing in your life, the highest meaning in your life. And also pray and ask for guidance. So if you're feeling that you are going crazily horny and you really wanna ejaculate and you're trying to minimize that for weeks at a time, pray and ask for guidance and you will be surprised by the answers that that come through. So this was some of what I had to say about what to do when you're getting too horny, I would really suggest to you to do this practices to do these exercises, to do different sublimation, different moving the energy practices, basic one advanced one and especially something I shared today seems a little bit out there. If you want you can try it and see how if it's actually maybe works for you. And if you are not interested, that's okay just put it on a shelf somewhere in the back of your mind and maybe later you would want to revisit that in a few months or even a few years. Again, welcome you to share a comment below in the comment section if you are feeling that that has inspired you, what are the three main takeaways that you've taken from this video and in the Facebook group, I welcome you to share your experience if you're getting too horny, what have you done? What is helping you? And that would inspire other men as well. Thank you. - [Lecturer] Dealing with wet dreams. As you are practicing ejaculation control. Specifically if you don't ejaculate for days or weeks at a time, you might start having wet dreams. I even get some clients and students who never had what dreams, suddenly have it for the first time in their life or for the first time since they were a teenager. So this is something that you might encounter. And specifically, if you are one of the people in the program who are trying to minimize ejaculations and to go for days and weeks and even months at a time, which is something that I really, ejaculate... (lecturer laughs) really ejaculate. Really recommend. This is a practice you would like to, you would wanna have. So specifically, if you are practicing ejaculation control and trying to minimize ejaculations, for once every few weeks or months even, which is something that I really recommend this video would really, serve you. This is again, related to the move, step or aspect, from the five steps to lasting longer. Why, feel, stop, move and transform. And generally, wet dreams, if you're having wet dreams it means that your sexual energy is building up but it doesn't move. Okay so you are ejaculating less, you have more sexual energy. It's kind of like stored in your body because you're not losing it through ejaculation, but it doesn't move in your body. And this is what, one of the reasons that, create wet dreams. And solution is obviously to move it. And there's a few specific ways and reminders for wet dreams. One of them is to do at least 20 minutes of sublimation. Which means practices to move your energy before sleep. And I say at least 20 minutes, and it might be you know, 30 minutes or 40 minutes. And I respect it if you don't have the time, do as much as you can. And maybe see if you can do it together with other, other things that you do in your day or in your evening. So 20 minutes before sleep and also, an hour a day. And if you are, this whole video is related to the horny, what to do when you're horny, presentation. And it's quite similar recommendations. So try to do an hour a day. Specifically if you're having frequent wet dreams. Frequent is anything, more frequent than the week or more frequent than two weeks or more frequent to whatever length of time you want to last. So if you want to last for at least a month and you're having a wet dream every, once every month or twice every month, that's frequent. So you can do some of the things I recommend in this video. Don't be stagnant. That's, move it also means moving your own body and many people in the West sit in front of the laptop. I sit in front of the laptop or I stand in front of the laptop and you know, people sit in cars, they sit in cafes, they sit in front of the television. So this is something that it creates stagnation in your body and keeps your energies stuck. So I would recommend exercise and movement. And this is part of moving the energy, as I mentioned in the basic techniques to move the energy video. But it is also part of a healthy lifestyle. Also contributes to your, mental, emotional wellbeing, makes you happy, releases endorphins. (indistinct) recommended. Avoid food four to six hours before you go to sleep. And the reason is that if you're having a meal, in the evening, late in the evening, you have all of this food laying around in your stomach, in your guts, in your digestive tract. And this is, again, concentrating energy in your lower body, what's called in your lower chakras. And this is something that, that might contribute to wet dreams. Similarly, avoid water two to three hours before going to sleep, because if you have a full bladder, that would create, many times erections 'cause there's so much sexual energy there, there's so much, focus of the body on your bladder. And this is something that might create a wet dream. I have to say that many times that I had with dreams, I walk up and I, I was, you know, exploding to go to the toilet to pee. So this is definitely something to avoid. You can also set an alarm for three or four and a half hours after you go to sleep. And then when the alarm goes off, you go to the toilet and you pee, if you need to. And again, this is... It's good to set an alarm for multiples of one and a half hours because most people, sleep in cycles of one and a half hours. So instead of, instead of doing four hours, it's better to do four and a half hours. And that gives you a whole, sleep cycle. Fasting is another thing that you can explore. I'd a partial fasting, intermittent fasting. So for example, some people would fast for 24 hours or 36 hours. And obviously we cannot fast every day, but doing this once a week is also, something that has great health benefits. You can also decrease and eliminate, animal products, specifically red meat, protein, even vegetable protein. So if you're having, if you're consuming a lot of tofu for example, that's a vegetable protein as a side note, tofu is not that good for you anyway, soy beans are not that good for you anyway. So decrease protein, even vegetable protein. Decrease chocolate, aphrodisiac foods, and also alcohol, weed and other drugs because they make you more receptive and less in control over your mind and your body. Okay so specifically if you're having wet dreams, try to minimize that. Avoid sleeping on your belly, because if you sleep on your belly again, you put a lot of, you put your weight on your cock and your balls and your second chakra and that, that basically makes you more horny as you sleep. And also some of the times that I was, having what dreams I would wake up needing to pee and also laying on my belly. So this is a double, double whammy and really a combination that really doesn't help us. Avoid getting too hot when you sleep. So if you are sleeping with a lot of, a lot of blankets and you're really, really hot, this is something that makes you prone to having wet dreams. Don't wait until you're too exhausted to get to sleep because you wanna go to sleep when you are lucid, when you are sober, when you are present. And if you're really exhausted, when you go to sleep, you would be less present in your dreams. And this is something that, that again, happened to me a couple of times. I felt like I was working so much and I was really exhausted. I went to sleep and I had a wet dream. And then again, combined with the other, with the other reasons as well, like drinking before going to sleep. But this is definitely, something that can create wet dreams. This is something that's might be a revelation for you in terms of, you know, relationship and sex life and so on. It's really recommended to sleep at separate beds and if possible, even in separate rooms, because it creates a kind of polarity between you and your partner. If you are having polarity issues in your relationship, attraction issues in your relationship, explore sleeping in separate beds or even separate rooms, if you can. And you can see what that would, what that would do to your polarity, to your attraction. Specifically in relation to wet dreams, if you're sleeping next to your woman, it's like your sexual energies is being activated throughout the night. And this is something that might make you prone to wet dreams. I would also recommend not having sex or even self-pleasuring at night. Specifically if you have wet dreams. Generally there's not a problem in doing that, mornings are more recommended because you have a higher level of testosterone and you're more present and so on. But nights okay to make love. But if you're having wet dreams, try to avoid that. Especially in the first weeks or months of practice. Do you believe? What I mean by do you believe, it's how much do you believe the practice? How much do you believe the practice of ejaculation control? How much do you believe it's, it's good for you to avoid ejaculations for weeks at a time? Because the more you believe that the easier it will be to do this practice and even in the night while you're dreaming, there'll be a shift. This is something that my tantric teacher told me when I attended a tantra workshop and lo and behold, after a few months of practice, suddenly, I was still having wet dreams. And suddenly in the dream, I would notice that I was getting close to the point of no return. And I would either stop or also start to do sublimation, techniques, practices to move the energy in the dream. Okay or I would make, wake myself up in the dream. So this is one of the first ways that I started to become lucid within a dream. So the more you believe, the more you see the why, you would, the easier it would be, to avoid wet dreams, to be lucid in the dream and notice that you might have limiting beliefs around ejaculation. So you still feel oh, I need to ejaculate some times. And this would come out literally in your sleep. Issues around self-worth. So if you feel that you're not worthy, you would sabotage yourself in your sleep. Okay, if you feel that you're not worth it to have a great sex life and a great relationship, and to be confident and to be successful, this is something that is affecting your subconscious. And in the night, in the dreams, you would dissipate, you would, unconsciously let go of your energy, of your life force of your ejaculate. Limiting beliefs around your masculinity. So do you, do you embrace all of the parts, all of the sides, all of the expressions of your masculinity? And if you're not, you're gonna lose your masculine power through ejaculation in the night. Deepen your why. This is all related. When you have a stronger why, you will have a stronger reason, even in the dream, to avoid ejaculation. It's really good to remind yourself of your why before going to sleep. It's good if you have, specifically three main things that you are focusing on generally in a period in your life, and also when, before you're going to sleep. So you say, I am controlling my ejaculation, I'm going to, I'm not going to ejaculate because my energy is dedicated to one, two, three, you know, to your mission, to success, to wealth, to relationship, to creativity, to finishing that novel, getting that deal, changing the lives of a million people, whatever that is for you. So really tie it to your mission or tie it to your goals. There's this aspect which is called, there's this practice which is called consecration. Consecration is, you know, you close your eyes and you dedicate your sleep, your sexual energies, your life even, to your why, to your mission, to your goals, to your higher self or to God, if you wanna use that word. And this is something that again is very powerful. And I found that, there's been various times when I had wet dreams, when I forgot to consecrate when I went to sleep. So this is something that is very powerful. It sounds you know quite, benign but it is a very powerful technique. And consecration is something that you can do, every morning, every day, throughout the day and really focus on the three most important things in your life. And dedicate your life and your sexual energies to it. Continuing on the same, the same topic, praying for guidance and support. So especially if you are having a strong belief in something which is beyond you, ask for guidance when you go to sleep. You know so that's, again, I know it's, it might be a little bit (indistinct) for some people. Don't worry about it, use the other techniques but as my teacher would say, don't throw the baby with the water and try to try to receive, try to practice whatever you resonate with from this presentation. So what did you learn today? Please write in your journal, three takeaways, three ideas, three practices that you learned from this video. And this is a, this is a good practice by itself because it doesn't just, it's not just a few videos and texts on a website. This is something in your journal that you summarize for yourself and you say this is important. I welcome you, invite you to share that in the comments below and also use the Facebook group to share your progress. So for example you can say, I'm dealing with wet dreams and I'm gonna, try these three, techniques, three practices. And a few weeks later, you can say, oh it's been you know, two weeks, three weeks, six weeks, eight weeks, whatever. And I haven't had a wet dream, you know, and I've done this practices and that helped me. So okay. Dealing with wet dreams. I hope this presentation served you. I'll see you in the next video. - [Instructor] Dealing with your partner. This video is about how to deal with your partner specifically when you are trying to delay your ejaculations for days and weeks at a time, and also when you're just trying to last longer. This is related to the transform aspect of the five step model of lasting longer. And I'm going to suggest that if you do what you've always done, you're going to get what you always got. And this is a very important thing in my whole you know, approach to coaching and this program which means I welcome you to try new things, to think about new things, to experiment, to test, to be curious about, new habits, new ways of making love, new techniques and so on. And these new techniques would give you new experiences and would renew your sex life, renew your relationship, renew your life in general. So I really welcome you to consider that what you have done until now maybe has worked in some one way or another, and maybe it didn't work and let's give it a try for new things. Remember that your sex is going to change, your sex is gonna get better. It's going to get deeper. It's going to get more meaningful. This is a transition period. So you're doing this program specifically during the 30 day intense program, but generally throughout the next months and years, you transition, you change, you shift, you will be hopefully practicing this for the rest of your life. Okay? So remember this is a journey, and you need to do things differently as we mentioned in order to, to get new results, and better results and new experiences in your life. Some of this things that you will be doing, might appear strange, weird, or even crazy. And I really welcome you to try that. As I mentioned before, it's you don't have to do anything, you don't have to do everything, it's up to you. And I welcome you. I invite you to try. And if something doesn't work for you or doesn't seem right, you know, just don't do this, you know put it aside, and you might do this later, but consider that I've been doing this for quite a few years and have clients and students that have done the same so this, all of this stuff works. Have the courage to be different. And I mean by that is that many people are afraid to try some of these techniques because they are afraid to seem weird or strange or whatever. So it's really about being who you are, it's allowing yourself to follow your path and follow what you believe is true, what you believe is important. And if you are following this program, you know it's like you have a why already, you have reasons to last longer and to delay your ejaculation for days and for weeks. So have the courage to do what it takes to for that and have the courage to even walk away if somebody is not accepting you, you know if they're not accepting you after you explain to them, maybe it's not right, but maybe it's not right I mean, maybe the person, the relationship is not right. Okay? And there is a thing with men that they try to please women so it's great to pleasure women, it's great to take care of women but many times, especially the new age, to soft new age guys, try to please women and I honestly have been guilty of that myself. So don't try to please her. Don't do things only because she wants to and she asks to and so on. Why do women want men to ejaculate? This is a very important thing to understand, and notice that again, I'm starting with the why and understanding their why, their reasons, and when you understand their reasons, it will be easier for you to deal with, with their reasons and with them. So there's positive or neutral aspects. They want to give you pleasure. And women also, women also love, you know men's ejaculate and they also, they enjoy it or some of them at least enjoy it enjoy the taste, the smell, the experience, the site you know, it's like, and that's natural, that's okay. And for them, it's represents, it symbolizes that you're having pleasure. So that's a a positive reason. They also think that it's, natural. You know, it's like, they want you to ejaculate because that's what happens in sex. Okay? And they don't know that there's an alternative. They don't know that you can have whole body orgasms and multiple orgasms without cuming, without ejaculating. Okay, so it comes from a lack of knowledge. And another one, which is, I think it's positive. You know, she's testing you. Women sometimes want to know that you're stronger than them. You know that she's trying to tease you, she's trying to push you over the edge, and she's going like, can you resist it? Can you resist me? Can you resist the pleasure? Okay? Because you might remember that sometimes they ask you to cum and after you came, it's like, they're not so happy about that. So this is something that David Deida talks about, and I really recommend the book Way of the Superior Man if you haven't read it already, this would also be in the resources section. What else? what are the reasons that women want you to ejaculate? And there's some negatives. And when I say negative, it doesn't mean that they are bad or they're evil, but you know, there's positive reasons and there's shadow reasons. There's negative reasons, you know? So let's look at that. Many women can not receive, okay. They feel obliged to give. They cannot, you know make love for an hour without you cuming, because it feels like, oh, they're receiving too much. They have to give you back. And later in this presentation, we're going to talk about how to deal with that. They're seeking approval. So when you're ejaculate they're feeling like, oh I'm a good girl. I've done a good job. This is kind of like, kind of like tick the box you know, I've done what I was supposed to do. And also sometimes women are bored, you know? So maybe you need to work on your lovemaking skills. And this is something that we're gonna go through in the next lecture, how to have longer sex and also another lecture, how to have tantric sex. Okay so some women are just bored, you know they just want to get it over with, and I would say that also related to the next reasons that I'm going to share with you in a moment, sometimes there's relationship issues. So if you guys are having relationship issues, now maybe she doesn't want that depth of connection that comes from an hour long love making, okay? Maybe she's feeling physical pain or emotional pain, and that might come from past trauma that she has. And, you know, it might be full on rape, or it might be something, you know, less serious than that. Let's say intense than that. And it might be, you know, physical trauma, emotional trauma, or maybe even there's no trauma. We don't have to go trauma hunting. Maybe she just has some physical pain in her vagina because of some issues or maybe she's feeling really, really emotional. And this is something that happens many times to women and to men after long lovemaking, that all of the emotions are coming to the surface. All of the sexual energy is being built up and bringing up these emotions. And the person also opens up with longer and deeper lovemaking. And many times women will start feeling emotional. They would feel like it's bad you know, if I'm suddenly sad or angry or confused, or dizzy or whatever, it's like, it needs to finish, you need to cum because I'm feeling emotional. There's also women, many times feeling, I'm not worthy of pleasure or worthy of love. And when they feel that they would make you ejaculate because they go like, oh okay I don't wanna I'm not worthy of receiving this. So I'm gonna to make it end. Many times they're afraid to trust and surrender. And again, longer love making is not just shorter love making times, you know, five in length, it's also much deeper. So a woman will be challenged with her fear of trusting and surrendering. She might, some women and again, it's like, it might be that your woman is not experiencing, not doing this for this reason, but there are some women that make a man ejaculate out of control. They are controlling the man. They are controlling his life energies, his mojo by making him cum. And they're feeling like there's some manipulation there. There's some revenge there. You know, it's like, oh, it's actually trying to hurt the man in some way, by making him weak, by making him ejaculate, by making him tired and so on. These are expressions of the immature feminine. This is not something that the queen archetype will do. So how to deal with all that? And as you know, from this program, the five step model, you need to start with why. Remind yourself of your why, why you're doing this? Why do you want to last longer? Go back to the section about the why, there is a lot of reasons there. See what you resonate with. See what inspires you, what motivates you? What triggers you even, okay. And use that as your why. And you need to tell her some stuff, and you need to have a conversation with her. And this is one of the ways that you deal with your partner with this practice of lasting longer and ejaculation control. So you need to share your why with her. And start with, do you know, honey, I love you. You know, you're my woman, you know my partner, even if it's somebody that you're with for a few weeks, or obviously if it's somebody that you are with for a few years or decades. Okay? So start the conversation with telling her, I love you. I'm doing this practice for us. It's not just not just for me. This would allow me to pleasure you, this practice. This would make a lovemaking longer, deeper, more meaningful, more orgasmic. Okay, what woman would say no to that? Tell her it's my life force, so maybe she doesn't understand, she's not aware of how ejaculation is affecting you. So she'll tell her that, you know how I feel when I ejaculate, you remember how I get tired and you know, maybe I'm a little bit disconnected from you when I'm ejaculating and I want to stay connected with you. You know, this is my life force. Also, this would make me more confident, more powerful and more successful outside the bedroom. And it's all, going to be worth it. In a moment we'll get to why, why it's going to be worth it, because there are some changes and some, let's call them sacrifices and yeah, in the beginning. And the thing with the why is that when you have a strong why, when you really believe it, she would follow, she would believe, she would do as you suggest, and as you ask. And my personal experience with that is that when I started practicing ejaculation control for the first few months, I sometimes chose to ejaculate because I wasn't so strong with my why, I was allowing the woman to very few times, but still it would happen that, I would be swayed from my decision. And after a while when it became such a deep rooted belief and practice for me, it's like women stopped asking me to ejaculate, like I would, sometimes they wouldn't even ask me, and sometimes they would ask me and I would just be so confident with my answer. I would just look at them like there's something like strange about, weird about them and I say, well, what do you mean ejaculate? You know, it's like, I'm a tantric man. You know, I'm keeping this for my mission for us, for God, you know? So if you have the strength of conviction, they would follow. What else to tell her? You need to tell her I need your cooperation and understanding. And it's important to say here that I really believe in taking full responsibility. So we are asking for her cooperation and understanding and support and there are some things that she can do, but take full responsibility over this practice. Make sure that you do your your self practice, your own practice, your daily practice, your edging, self-pleasuring, sublimation, moving the energy and so on. And after you do all of these practices or in the same time that you do all of these practices also ask for her cooperation and understanding. You need to tell her, please don't ask me to cum. Like tell her straight forward. Please don't ask me to cum because in the heat of the moment if she asks you to cum, maybe you will be tempted and I hope you will not be. But you know, you can ask her not to ask you to cum. It's good to tell her that you need to pause, to pull out or to even stop lovemaking. And this is really important because, because some women especially if they've never heard about this practices will be like, you know, it's like why are you pausing, and tell her I'm pausing because I wanna look at you and feel you and breathe with you, and look into your eyes and kiss you and enjoy you and you know, it's like, it's doesn't have to be about, about friction. I might need to pull out sometimes because your, you know you make me so aroused, you you're so hot, you're so sexy that, you know, it's like I can't, if I stay inside you, I'm gonna cum and I wanna make love for longer and longer, you know, with you. So I sometimes need to pull out and I need to do some practices and in order to move my energy, and sometimes I would actually need to stop lovemaking because I cannot go inside, you know so you need to tell her that, and you need to tell her I need to do that even if you want me to continue, even if you are about to orgasm, if you are already orgasming, in the middle of orgasming, I still need to to pull out or to pause and you can tell her, you can orgasm again. I will help you orgasm again with my mouth and fingers and body and cock and whatever, but if I can, if I ejaculate, it's game over for me. This is very important, you know? So women say no means no. And I fully agree with that, and you need to tell her stop means stop. So when you're making love with her and she's moving let's say she's riding you, and you feel that you are getting not just close to the point of no return, in the beginning if you're going beyond I don't know 50 or 60%, you need to slow down or to stop. And sometimes I would, you know, shout, stop at my woman. I don't mean to shout, but you know, I'll be like feeling that I'm getting close to the point of no return, and when I, when I tell her to stop, she would stop, she would kind of like freeze for a moment and then she would relax her, her hips over my hips and that small movement, would push me over the edge. Okay. So stop means stop. Stop means freeze, stop means don't move or for like 10, 20 seconds, or until I tell you that, you know it's like we're out of the red zone. So this is really really important because, you know, maybe you are even above her and she's moving under you and you know every little move that she's making with the vaginal muscles as well might push you over the edge. So stop means, you know don't breathe for a few seconds. You need to tell I might need to avoid certain positions and techniques. You know, maybe she really likes that you take her from behind while standing on your knees on the bed. You know, it's like for me personally, it never works this position I can, after like 10 15 years of practice, it's, you know I cannot do this for more than a few minutes. So I avoid certain positions and certain techniques. You can tell her I might need to focus on my body. I need to focus on, you know, feeling my sexual energy, knowing that I need to stop when it's too strong. But again a reminder, I'm doing this for us. I'm not just doing this for me. Remind her that you experience pleasure without ejaculating and one way to remind her is to make sounds noises while you're inside her, while you're making love, while you're even having foreplay. And also keep reminding her, it's like, oh I'm loving this too much. There's so much pleasure. I'm enjoying this so much. Even when I'm not ejaculating. And also just remind her that because she might be so programmed to expect you to ejaculate because she feels this is your only pleasure. And tell her I deeply care about your pleasure, okay? So I'm not just doing it for my, you know lasting longer and my why and so on, I deeply care about your pleasure and I wanna facilitate pleasure for you. I wanna, sometimes we say, give you pleasure. It's not exactly give you, but you know what I mean. You know, it's like, I want to pleasure you. I want, you know, I'm doing this program and I want to actually bring you to multiple orgasms and whole body orgasms, and I want to make you shine from our lovemaking. You know, that sometimes I have kind of like serious, seriously crazy questions. And would you cheat on your partner? Okay. And again, there's infidelity has huge numbers and that's a different topic, but you know it's like, would you cheat on your partner? And I would say that if you're cuming too fast, it is as if you're cheating on your partner. Because you're robbing her from you. It's like, you are cheating on her with yourself. It's like, oh I'm cuming too fast it's about me. No, it's not about you, okay? So make sure that, even if you don't choose to wait, to delay your declaration for days and four weeks, if you're cuming too fast, you know, it's like, you're betraying her in some way. You're robbing her of pleasure, connection, fulfillment, joy, being seen, and spiritual bliss. And what you need to do is to resist the temptation. You need to resist the temptation to sacrifice your ejaculation to give her an orgasm. Because specifically when you're starting to last longer, she will start orgasming more and more and you need to resist that temptation to go for it. You know? 'cause she will be close to an orgasm and she's going like, you know, fuck me, take me, stronger, you know, deeper and so on. And you know that you're too close to the point of no return, but you got like, oh fuck it, I'm just gonna go for it. Sacrifice the ejaculation and start again tomorrow. And I really recommend you to to resist this because she can have another orgasm later, with you inside her, without you inside her, you know, she can have another orgasm but if you ejaculate, it's game over. So really resist this temptation. What to do instead? Focus on her body and her pleasure. So you already told her that you care about her pleasure. So really focus on her body, bring her to orgasm bring her to pleasure, give her a massage, give her what's called a Yoni massage or a vaginal massage which means massaging her Yoni, her vagina, to bring her pleasure, to bring her healing and to connect her to her power. One of the reasons that I became a sexual healer, and I was giving Yoni massage to women for years is that I needed to pull out, okay. I was too close to the point of no return, I needed to pull out. And when I was pulling out, I was using my fingers in order to give them, you know vaginal stimulation and pleasure. Okay? So I hope this is inspiring for you. You can also become a master of Yoni massage. If you do that for a while. And it's a beautiful way to pleasure a woman. There's something called five element touch. I'm not going to cover this in this program but it's basically the idea that you can touch each other in many, many different ways in an airy way and the fire away and so on. So there's different kinds of touch that you can explore to bring you different sensations, different kinds of pleasure. What she can do is she can read my book, Orgasm Unleashed, Your Guide to Pleasure, Hearing and Power. And I would recommend both of you actually to read it. This is something that would transform her sex life and the her orgasm and the her connection to her body. And when that happens, she would be able to contain more pleasure. She would be able to experience more pleasure. So you know, that's the, she's doing her work, she's doing her own sexual healing and empowerment, and you're doing your own sexual healing and empowerment, and both of you then can meet in an equal place. Another thing that you can do is to watch the lecture, how to help your man last longer. And this would repeat some of the ideas in this video, but this is directed specifically for her, okay? So this is me speaking to her and really explaining to her how she can support you in your practice. So what did you learn from this video? I really, really suggest to write in your journal three takeaways from this video and remember that, if you just watch the video, you learn some things. But if you write it in your journal, you would learn more. Even if there are some things that are just reminders, which means you know them already, you've heard them before some way, but it's a good reminder for you. Yes, please write that in your journal as well. Share in the comments below, okay. What are your three takeaways and also share your progress in the Facebook group, in the forum. This is very important because you need to be accountable. You need to be accountable to yourself and to other men. And this is something that would really take your practice to the next level. So I really welcome you to share your progress in the Facebook group. If you are not in the Facebook group, check the the introduction section for instructions, how to join. So this was dealing with your partner and I'll see you in the next video. - [Eyal] How to have better, longer, sex. So we talked about what you do before, now let's begin. Remember that the main practice of ejaculation control is feel, stop and move. So throughout foreplay, throughout lovemaking, throughout penetration, after penetration, you need to feel how aroused you are. You need to make sure that when you're feeling that you are kind of like 50%-60%, maximum 70% of your pleasure, you stop. And make sure you stop. And this is the main thing that would help you to last longer, if you actually stop. And then that mixing piece is to move the energy. You don't just stop, you don't just pause. You make sure that you keep moving the energy. So the beginning of the actual lovemaking session, sex session, fucking session, whatever you wanna call it, is to set the intention. And again, maybe you don't do this every single time you have sex, but you can do it really, really quickly in your mind or together with your partner. It's like, I set the intention of lasting longer. I set the intention of connecting with you in love, in pleasure, in passion. I set the intention of dedicating my, dedicating our lovemaking to who we really are, to our relationship, to our gift, to our mission. Okay, this is a very powerful thing, because then if you will be tempted to ejaculate, you'll remind yourself, no, I'm doing this for us. It's not just for me. I'm doing this for my mission. I'm doing this to become energized so I can go there and change the world. Long foreplay. This is one of the secrets. This is one of the really, the things that would make a difference. Because if you are horny and you immediately penetrate your woman, your body's gonna tell you to ejaculate. If you have long foreplay, you're already moving the energy. So during that foreplay, you might have an erection and there's some moments that you would not have an erection. That's okay. It comes and goes, okay? So the long foreplay is good for you and it's obviously good for your partner, okay? Always err on the side of having more foreplay and not less foreplay. (mouse clicks) Make sure that you explore the whole body. You explore her body and you explore your body, okay? So both of you activate, explore, touch, bring sensation, bring pleasure to each other's bodies, okay? You can do it in turns. You can do it in the same time, okay? So this is really something that, that again makes both you orgasmic. It would help you experience those whole-body orgasmic states rather than five seconds of an ejaculatory orgasm. When you're exploring whole body, make sure that you keep moving energy away from your genitals. You're moving your hands or you're asking her to move your hand, her hands up your body. You create sensations, not at the area of the genitals, but up your body, neck, shoulder, head and so on, okay? So this is, once again, something that paves the road, the energy roads away from your genitals. This is something that, that programs you to have your energy move away from your genitals. So this is also, the word for it is also to sublime or sublimation, which is moved energy. And kind of like have the intention of continuously moving the energy, continuously subliming or sublimating. Penetration. Penetration, we are getting in there. (Eyal chuckles) So take your time with penetration. Again, like same thing with the foreplay. Make, ask her, do you want me inside you? And try to get to this state, to this moment where you're feeling that she's pulling you inside you. That she's expecting you inside you. Sorry, she (chuckles) pulls you inside her. She's expecting you inside her. She craves for you inside her, okay? And then it's very beautiful to ask her, because so much, so many women so often, I'm not asked for this. It's like the man assumes that she wants you inside her. She wants the man inside her. So it's a really beautiful thing to ask, do you want me inside you? And be prepared if she says not yet or if she actually says no. And you might have some sex sessions that start as, you think that you're gonna have sex. Both of you think that you're gonna have sex. But suddenly she's not feeling it. And that's okay. And know how to be okay with a no. And remember your why again. What is your why? Is your why to be inside the woman and cum? Or is your why to connect with her deeply and serve her and pleasure her and also grow yourself in pleasure. And if you can, if you want to grow yourself in pleasure, it's not just about penetration. When you penetrate, make sure that you are below the 50% of your arousal, okay? Because if you are above 50% of your arousal, in the first stroke of penetration, you might suddenly tip over the point of no return. And this is again one of the, one of the mistakes men make when they try to last longer. They feel that they're too aroused and they still penetrate and they lose it. I had so many times when I was just starting this practice and I wasn't so sure about the point of no return. And I didn't know how to move my energy. It was actually, I actually felt that I was close to the point of no return, but I didn't do anything about that. I didn't, I felt like, oh. I hope it's gonna be okay. And, guess what? It wasn't. And there were many, many times that I penetrated and I was, I like to call it dead-on-arrival. Penetration, bam, ejaculation. So I used to have premature ejaculation. And this is one of the reasons, okay? I was penetrating when I was too aroused. So make sure that you sublime, sublimate, move the energy before you penetrate. So this is, (chuckles) this is really important. Penetrate slowly, okay? So go really centimeter by centimeter, inch by inch, okay? Go really slow. This is something that also your woman would appreciate very much, because she, hopefully she wants you all the way inside her and by penetrating slowly, you are kind of like teasing her a little bit and she craves for you to be inside her. It also allows you to be more in control. If you need to pull out, it also allows you to feel what's going on. To feel the sensation in your cock. Be careful with the entrance ring, okay? So the very entrance of her vagina, of her yoni. Yoni is the Sanskrit name for vagina. The very entrance ring is the one with the strongest energy, okay? And it's a very sharp energy. It's similar to the energy of ejaculation. It's connected to her clitoris and her clitoral energy. So be careful when you're just going in. And once you, once you go beyond this point also inside, you might get aroused very much, but that entrance ring for me, and for many men is something that is charged with energy and might tip you over the point of no return. So be careful there. Pause every centimeter, as I mentioned. And also pause at the deep end. So go all the way in slowly and then pause. And then again, you would find if you're having multiple partners or if you're trying this with your own partner, with your longterm partner, you find that many women never had a partner who penetrate them slowly and who paused the first time that, on the first stroke, on the first penetration, okay? And then you pause and you can look into her eyes. You can be breathing together. You can tell her that you love her. You can just wait there for, literally, for two or three minutes, okay? And see what happens. During, what do you do during sex? And this is already during, but, I mean, specifically during, during penetration. And remember that what we usually call foreplay, people look at it as if it's something you do before sex and then there is penetration and then ejaculate and then it's game over. But foreplay is love-play. And this is something you do throughout the lovemaking. So throughout the lovemaking, keep kissing, keep nibbling her ears and her neck and her nipples. And using your mouth and using your hands and using your whole body. And also receive the touch from her. So keep arousing each other with all of your body. Don't just have focus on your genitals. If you're too aroused, again, be careful with that, because you might be, you might get really close to the point of no return because she's, she's, I don't know. Kissing you or arousing you in a different way. But if you're not too close to the point of no return, by all means, keep exploring each other's bodies, even when you are in penetration. Be careful specifically during the first 5 minutes, 10 minutes or 20 minutes. It's different for different people. But what you would find is that, that the first few minutes are the most challenging. The energy is very, very strong. And it takes a few minutes to get used to the sexual energy and to be able to move it. So be extra careful. Extra careful means pause more often, go more slowly. Even stop, pull out, sublime, which means move the energy, okay? So be careful during those first few minutes. And afterwards, you might be able, if you wish, to go faster, to go stronger, to go harder. But the first few minutes really, really be careful. And remember that there is a constant, constant cycle. So feel, stop and move is one way to look at it. And an easier way to look at it is build arousal and in the same time, practice sublimation, okay? Move the energy. So arousal, sublimation, arousal, sublimation, arousal, sublimation, so you never stop moving the energy. You never stop subliming, okay? If you stop subliming, you get too close to the point of no return. You might miss the point of no return or you might have blue balls or you would get too sensitive or you would, it's like, it doesn't work. This is why men don't manage to last longer. The secret to lasting longer is continuous sublimation. Pausing, again, such an important technique. So pause at a half-time. Half-time means if you usually ejaculate after, let's say, four minutes from the moment of penetration, pause after, half of four is two minutes, okay? So pause after two minutes. And you can wait one or two minutes either inside or actually pulling out. And while you're waiting, you're not just twiddling your fingers, you're actually subliming. You're moving the energy. And you can be inside and you don't have to pull out and do some of those funky yoga positions I showed you in the trance section. Instead you release all your breath, okay? You take a deep breath and then exhale fully, okay? (inhales) And then you hold that breath and you just, you just pause, okay? And you can keep kissing, keep moving, keep or keep, sorry. Not moving, but keep looking into her eyes or whatever, but you can be moving the energy. You can move your hands up your body. You can do the fire breath. You can stare with your third eye. You can have her touch and pull your neck and the forehead and so on. So there's many things that you can do while you are pausing, okay? So go back and watch that presentation about the basic techniques. There's a lot there that you can use. (keyboard types) Other things to do during. Pull out if needed. Guys, it is legal to have sex and to pull out, okay? It is totally okay to have sex and pull out. And if you only have sex for four minutes, yeah, maybe you wouldn't pull out. Although I would recommend you still do pull out. But if you have sex for four minutes usually and you would pull out, it would allow you to last much longer, okay? Potentially as long as you want. So it's okay to pull out and as you pull out, you can be moving your energy and also you can be continuing to pleasure her, okay? Be careful because pulling out might also tip you over the point of no return, specifically because you're going through her entrance ring. So your, the tip of your penis, your frenulum, the head of your penis is rubbing against her, her entrance ring and all of the friction and all of that movement and using your muscles in order to pull out might tip you over the point of no return. And this is again something that I was experiencing a lot when I started practicing. So make sure that you plan ahead and you don't pull out at the last possible moment when you are on 79%. If like, if the point of no return is 80, you don't pull out on the 79%. You pull out on the 60%, okay? So really plan ahead. Do stronger sublimation techniques after you pulled out, okay? So you pull out, maybe you leave the bed and you do some of the yoga positions. Some of the stronger breathing exercises. You do some physical exercises: pull-ups, push-ups, sit-ups, scrunches. Other calisthenics, okay? So really make sure that you do strong sublimation techniques if you are very aroused, okay? And if you can do them as well, that's great, okay? And that, by the way, would give her different pleasure experiences, different orgasmic experiences, different states of consciousness as well. (chuckles) So I like to, I like to say that if you wanna last longer, slow the fuck down. Slow the lovemaking down. Slow the movement down. Slow the whole thing. Slow the fuck down, okay? If you wanna last longer, slow the fuck down. And this is something that again, many men think that it's like a race to, a race to the finish line, okay? So they have to go harder, faster, stronger. And women, by the way, feel the same thing. And if you wanna last longer, really make sure that you slow down. This is again one of the secrets to lasting longer. Go slower than usual. And if the usual is slower, try to go even slower. See how that feels. We're gonna get to it in the next, one of the next videos, that there are some lovemaking practices that are just about penetrating and pausing, okay? It's a beautiful practice. And myself and my clients have got amazing experiences from that practice, okay? (mouse clicking) Alternate between shallow and deep penetration. Shallow and deep thrusting. And this is an art by itself. This is a full technique by itself. What I mean is to go, to go for example shallow penetration, shallow, shallow, shallow, deep. Which is a three to one ratio. And again, you don't have to get too technical and you don't have to do all of this counting and if you practice this, after a while it just becomes automatic. It just becomes natural. Okay, but this is a really good technique to give her different, different kinds of stimulation, different kind of pleasure sensations. And also if you penetrate, if you don't penetrate too deeply, it might be easier for you to, to last longer. So the two most challenging places in terms of how close you get to the point of no return is the entrance ring and many times for many women it's also the really deep end. So you go all the way in. You connect with the cervix. The cervix is the entrance to the womb. And that might also be challenging as well and very pleasurable. So when you go shallow, shallow, shallow, deep, it's only with one of those thrusts, the deep thrust that you connecting to her cervix. So be, experience, practice this shallow, shallow, shallow, deep and see how that feels. Pause when you get to the deep. If it's not too arousing, if it's not too pleasurable, if it's not too challenging for you, pause on the deep end and that's, that's again, will allow you to connect with her a little deeper, okay? And it's a different sensation for both of you. It also allows you to have a pause, okay? I discovered the pause when I was doing this shallow, shallow, shallow, deep thing and suddenly in, when I was pausing, my girlfriend at the time would have an orgasmic wave. She would have a really special orgasm in that moment when I was pausing, okay? So this is an orgasmic technique by itself. Be careful on the deep end, as I mentioned. It might be, might be too much for some men with some women. And then you go to five to one. So shallow, shallow, shallow, shallow, shallow, deep. And so on, you can go seven to one, 10 to 1, 12 to 1. And the idea is that slow, that gradually you're going to a slower lovemaking. Not a faster and stronger lovemaking. If you look at the media, movies and your own experiences, many people experience this that sometimes sex starts slowly and then builds up to some crescendo, builds up to some peak, that the man goes faster, stronger and the woman does as well and both of them cum. Instead the way to last longer is to actually gradually go slower. And as you go slower, it doesn't mean that you would go, that there will be less pleasure, there would actually be more pleasure, okay? So experiment with that. Yeah, resist the temptation to go fast and hard even if she asks you, begs you, threatens you and so on. And if she does want you to go fast and hard, she's feeling the craving in your body. And so you still kind of like giving it to her. So shallow, shallow, shallow, deep. That deep thrust is very, very enjoyable for women. And it makes them want you even more. So this is a, this is like a technique by itself. (mouse clicks) More things, avoid the missionary position. Yeah, big news in this, in this video. Okay, so I'm not saying to, maybe you don't completely avoid the missionary position and maybe you're just careful on the missionary position. But in the missionary position, you usually have to tense your muscles and myself personally and many people feel that the missionary position is actually more challenging to lasting longer. So you might wanna avoid that. Instead you can lie on your back or you can be side to side. Something that works for me very well is if I'm standing actually on my feet next to the bed and my woman is on the bed and crou, or she's standing and she's crouching down, okay? So that allows me to have full control over my body, over my movement. And also I don't have to tense any muscles in order to do that. Avoid clitoral stimulation. That's a big one. That one of the mistakes that men are making, and again, there's a section which is called the "20 Mistakes" including, it includes a e-booklet I have released with the same name. And this is one of the mistakes that mean are making and women are making as well. Clitoral stimulation is not bad, but when a woman is having clitoral stimulation, it makes it 10 times more difficult for the man to last longer, to control his ejaculation. So I would really recommend you not to, not to stimulate her clitoris and also to ask her not to stimulate her clitoris. And it's just for now. Again it's just a period where you're learning to move the energy. But also for the future. It's like women can have a lot of pleasure inside. And the clitoris also, in some way, extends inside her vagina, okay? So be careful from direct external clitoral stimulation and instead you can arouse her with your fingers afterwards inside, okay? You can put your fingers inside her. Another thing to, to avoid which is related to clitoral stimulation is when either of you is on top and leaning forward. So this is, for example the missionary position is actually arousing her clitoris. Or when she's riding you, when she's on top of you and she's leaning forward towards you, so her head is next to yours. So she's kinda like lying on top of you. Again, her clit is rubbing on your pubic bone. And that is creating clitoral stimulation. So be careful with that, with those positions, because that might make it more challenging for you. (mouse clicks) Remember to have relaxed breath. And I even invite you, even now to remember to breathe into your belly. So take your breath into your belly and as you breathe out, let the breath just fall out. As if you're going, after a long day at the office or outside at work, whatever, and you come back home and you are going into a hot bath. And as you're sitting in the hot bath, you're going like. (Eyal inhales) (Eyal exhales) Okay, so that release breath, that surrender breath. Make sure that your breath is relaxed, your belly muscles are relaxed. You're breathing in a relaxed way and this would contribute to your mental relaxation and would make your energy move in your body and not be stuck in your body. Make sure that your body's relaxed. Again, that you're not, you're not tensing any unnecessary muscles. Make sounds, making sounds is one of those things that would make you, would help you move your sexual energy. It also creates more pleasure in your body. So if you want to become a multiorgasmic man, make sounds. It also makes your woman enjoy you making sounds, because she wants you to ejaculate because she wants you to have pleasure. And this is one of the reasons. So if you're making sounds throughout the whole lovemaking, you're telling her, you see, darling? I'm having so much pleasure. I don't have to ejaculate. And some women have commented to me that they've never heard a man make so much sounds and they really enjoy that. So really experiment with sounds. So what happens, what do you do if starts orgasming? So as you're making love for longer, as you're lasting longer, as for sure you're going to, or you're already are, your woman, your partner will start to have orgasms when you are inside her. So what happens when start orgasmic? What do you do? You need to plan ahead. So if you feel that she's gonna orgasm or if she feels that she's going to orgasm, it's good if she tells you and you need to make an executive decision (chuckles) if you are staying inside or if you're pulling out, okay? So it's really important that you know that. You can pause while she is, she still moves, okay? So you can stop moving and she might keep moving. Or both of you can pause. And by the way, if she feels an orgasming, an orgasm coming up, she might still be able to orgasm even if she doesn't move and you don't move. So many people are programmed to believe that both partners need to move in order for the woman to orgasm. And that is, I'm telling you that as an orgasm expert, I published a book about female orgasm. And it's totally possible for a woman not to move at all and have an orgasm, okay? So it's okay to pause when she starts orgasming. (mouse clicks) You might need to pull out, and especially in the first weeks, in the first months of practice or with women who have a lot of sexual energy, you might actually need to pull out and that is okay. I actually had one partner that when I would pull out, she would go into like a crazy orgasm and start and roll all over the floor, because that would actually arouse her, okay? So again we are sometimes programmed to feel, to think that if the man pulls out, the woman stops enjoying herself, but that's not the case. When there's sexual energy, the sexual energy, when she's close to orgasm, okay? The sexual energy's still there. This is also called the orgasm timer in my book "Orgasm Unleashed." You might need to move away when she starts to orgasm, especially if you're very sensitive in the first weeks or months of practice. Especially if you have a woman with big hips, a big body, or just generally a lot of sexual energy. You can be near her. You can be 20 centimeters away from her. Not even touching her and her orgasm will be so strong that her sexual energy would expand and would push you beyond the point of no return. It happened to me a few times when I was just starting to practice and it was crazy. I literally needed to move away from the bed, okay? I literally needed to leave the bed. And it was kind of like (chuckles) a Geiger radiation meter thing. I would get closer to bed, closer to her, and my cock would get erected again and would feel that I'm close to the point of no return. So I literally needed to step away. So I know it sounds a little bit out there, but if you meet one of those women, you would know what I'm talking about. Especially when you're just starting to practice and you are not so good in moving your energy so fast. So it's okay to move away and you can still look at her while she's orgasming and you can still tell her, oh, darling, I love you so much. You're so beautiful. Keep cumming, keep orgasming. And stay connected to her, so you're not kind of like running away from the house or anything. (mouse clicks) Other things to do while you are, while you're having sex during penetration. So remember again whole body focus. I know I've said this before. I'm saying it again. While you're having sex, make sure that you're focused on your whole body while you're penetrating, while you're pausing and while you are outside. So even when you are moving your sexual energy, you can do some breath exercises and in the same time you can still be pleasuring her so she doesn't feel that you disappeared. You're still connected. - [Instructor] Karezza, the power of the subtle. This is a very special technique that I'm very happy to share with you. And it seems very simple and it is very simple and it seems very basic but you would find that it might be really profound to your sex life and your relationship. Thinking about the five step model to lasting longer. This is related to the stop aspect and also to the transform aspect. So Karezza is a term that was going by a woman called Alice Stockham around the late 18 hundreds. This is not exactly a new technique although it has its roots as well in tantric practices. It comes from the Italian or Latin word to caress. And originally traditionally what Alice stockham how she defined it is basically sex without ejaculation, sex without climax sex without sex, without orgasm. I've been using it for quite a while in a slightly different meaning. And my definition to Karezza is basically sex without friction. And let's look at how that is possible. So there are three options to practice Karezza. And the main one is to penetrate but not move. So this is something that you do during sex. It's not a self practice, specifically a sexual practice and there are idea is that you start having fore play you arouse each other, you get hard, you penetrate. And then when you penetrate you just stay there and you don't move. And so many men and women I'm so used to friction and pounding, and it's basically like friction based sex. It's all reliant on rubbing all genitals against each other. And this is something that this practice gives you a beautiful alternative, beautiful way to experience sex without a friction. This is the practice. This is the first option. And the main practice that I would recommend is penetrating without moving. There's another option, which is penetrating not moving your hips, not pulling, not going kind of like in and out, or even not side to side but using squeezes your gentle squeezes of your PC muscles and cock muscles that we covered in their key goals a lecture on the moving the energy. And also your partner can be a squeezing contracting her vagina muscles. And it feels really, really nice. It feels a little bit like I call it winking to each other, so you can be squeezing together or you can alternating you squeeze once she squeezes once and so on. It feels really nice inside. So when you're squeezing it feels really nice inside her vagina. She can feel it much better when you guys are not moving and her vagina squeezing your cock also feels really, really nice. And that's a way to make it a little bit, if you are slightly bored in the beginning, by the simple practice of penetrating without moving this is a way to add a little bit more juice to that, but I would definitely recommend the first practice to penetrate and not move and really give it a try. There is also another option and this is something that you can integrate into your normal lovemaking. And you notice that I talk a lot about the importance of the pause and pausing and stop is one of the aspects of the lasting longer model. And this practice of Karezza is something that you can do in your let's call it normal lovemaking, and you can pause and you can stay there for a few minutes. And then you can continue with moving with friction, maybe even with pounding. And this would give you kind of like more depth to your pauses. It wouldn't be just pausing and twiddling your fingers. This is something that you can integrate into those times that you pause. What happens to your sexual energy during Karezza? We are talking in this program a lot about sexual energy, how to build your sexual energy, how to move your sexual energy. And it's important to know that there are few things that can happen while you're practicing Karezza. One of them is that you can have too little sexual energy. Which means you penetrate let's say you're hard you're penetrating. And then there's no friction. You're just pausing there. And naturally your sexual energy would start to sublime would start to move. And what would happen is you might lose your erection. This is something that happens sometimes might happen to some men, especially if you're not 20 or if you are not 30 and you have a little bit less sexual energy you might lose erection. That's okay. That's by the way a sign that the sexual energy is moving a little bit. And what you do then is you are the pull out and start arousing yourself or she arises you and you engage in foreplay or love play or inside your shift to the other option of doing Karezza, which you do start moving a little bit and having a little bit of friction or squeezing your PC muscles and so on. So this is one thing that might happen to your sexual energy. And other thing is that it might be too much. So even though you are not moving even though you're not pounding, even though you're not going wild just by being inside your woman, your sexual energy would rise, her sexual energy would rise, and you might find that you getting too close to the point of no return. So the sexual energy would feel like it's too much. And then you're getting too close to the point of no return. And then what you do is you make sure that you either keep subliming and keep moving your energy. And if it feels like it's too much, simply pull out be careful when you pull it out by the way because pulling out might push you over the edge over the point of no return, pull out do some practices to move the energy and then go back in penetrate again. And again, pause don't move. And I really recommend to do this for, a good 20 minutes, 30 minutes inside to really feel the effects of it. And even more to do this few times, quite a few times maybe even take a week off daily love making or a month of making love once, twice, three times a week, in order to experience how the effects of this practice are building up. And this leads us to the third aspect of this practice. The third thing that can happen to your sexual energy it can be just enough. Which means it will be just enough to maintain your erection but not too much that you have to pull out or do some of the really intense sublimation practices. And when it's just enough, you can have, hours of a bliss, hours of connection, hours of really amazing orgasmic States both of you you can really experience multiple orgasms while you are in this practice without moving at all. This is one of the benefits basically of this practice. And there's a lot is it's a really beautiful practice. It seems again, a little bit simplistic and maybe boring but once you start practicing it you might experience some of these effects, these benefits. One of the Novelty. Maybe you've never done something like this before. So it's a new thing to try, it's a new technique to try. So instead of some acrobatic positions from the Kama Sutra this is something much more simple. This technique. The second thing is that you are able to practice the edging and the point of no return with your partner. You don't just practice this by yourself you practice it with your partner and it's much easier to feel stop and move which is the point of no return with this practice because you're not moving your body. She's not moving her body. You're just resting there. And it's becomes much easier for you to feel how aroused you are to stop or to pull out when you are feeling that your are too aroused and also to keep moving the energy. It's obviously helps you to last longer. Just this practice by itself would help you to last longer. And it also allows you to pause and to stay inside without pulling out. As I've mentioned sometimes you would have to pull out but at other times you can actually stay inside and not have to not have to pull out. That's a very beautiful experience, that instead of pulling out and coming back again in, you just. - [Instructor] How to have Tantric sex. This is another exciting video in the how to transform your sex life section. And I'm happy to share this with you, this is something that I've been exploring intensely, deeply, for the past 10, 11 years and it has changed my life. So we are going even deeper with this program. This is part of, this is related to the transform aspect of the five-step, five-aspect model of lasting longer. And we're not gonna talk too deeply, too much about Tantra. This is something that you can literally spend years of your life, decades of your life, studying. We're just gonna cover a few meanings, a few aspects, a few practices to make your sex more Tantric. And what is Tantra? For most people Tantra means this hanky-panky sex, Indian whatever thing. And, actually, Tantra is much more than that. Tantra is a huge field of knowledge and practices and ideas and philosophies, which also includes sex, but sex is kind of like 3% of Tantra. There's also yoga and astrology and astronomy and medicine and dance and music and archery and many practices which are considered the arts of Tantra. So, just to let you know that tantra is not sex, however we are going to talk about sex, Tantric sex, in this video. Tantra also means, for me specifically, it means the combination of spirit and matter. So the idea that we are not just bodies, eating and shitting and living and dying and also we're not just spirits. It's not just a spiritual realm and it's not just the physical realm. Tantra combines the spirit and the matter realm and Tantra embraces everything. Tantra embraces extremes. Tantra embraces different practices that other traditions frown upon. Tantra believes that everything is interconnected and because everything is interconnected, if you do, for example, something in your sex life that would impact your confidence level. This would impact your success, how much you are able to attract people and possibilities and clients and money. So everything is connected to everything. I like to say, also, that Tantra is fucking spiritual. So specifically the sexual aspect of Tantra, it means not just to fuck, but to fuck in a way which is spiritual. So a few ideas about Tantric sex. This whole program is about ejaculation control and lasting longer. And you have to understand that lasting longer is just the beginning. Lasting longer is great, lasting longer, I think it's basic. It's an advanced practice, but it's basically, it's the beginning of you deepening your sex life, your relationship and your life. There's a text later in this section which is called, What is a Tantric Lover? And the idea is that a Tantric lover is not just a man who can last longer, he's also a man who worships his woman, who sees his woman as the goddess. Who can open her and elevate her and elevates and open together with her, as well. So the Tantric lover brings the sacredness into the lovemaking. He embraces both stillness and ecstasy together. A Tantric lover, a Tantric man specifically, also leads his woman. He is able to also receive her gift and her feminine guidance, but generally he's able to lead the lovemaking session and allow the woman to fully surrender and fully express her feminine. So I read more about this in the section called What is a Tantric Lover? In the lecture called, What is a Tantric Lover? And the idea that I'm sharing with you about Tantric sex is that you move from sex to lovemaking. You transform sex into lovemaking and then you transform that into spiritual practice. So it's not just about having a million orgasms. It's not just about having sex for three hours. It's really about deepening in love. And, ultimately, it's about deepening into spirit. The first aspect, the first practice that I wanna share with you is the practice of consecration. This is something that I mentioned before in the program and can serve you in other aspects of your life. And it's a practice that I do, continuously, throughout the day. And let's talk specifically what it means in sex. The first way to look at consecration is it is a kind of dedication, which means that you are starting an action specifically. Now you're starting to have sex, you are having a sex session, a lovemaking session and you're dedicating the session to something which is beyond you. So you can dedicate it to the relationship. You can dedicate it to your mission. You can dedicate it to God. It's really a form of starting with yourself, but going beyond yourself. Consecration is an opportunity to set intention and intentions are very, very, very powerful. And when you set intention, you kind of pave the road to whatever unfolds. So, for example, your intention can be I intend to last longer, I intend not to ejaculate. I intend to open myself and my lover in love. Intentions are magical. So you set intention specifically, with Tantric lovemaking, where you do not ejaculate. And your intentions and your goals might actually come true. So this is another aspect of consecration. You're setting some goal. And it's good to have sex without too much goals, but it's also positive, it's also a good idea to set a certain goal, which is I intend to be continent, which means to control my ejaculation. I intend to serve my woman. I intend to do this or to do that. So it's quite related, these two things, intention and goal setting. The next thing is your why. In your consecration, you are thinking about, maybe saying out loud, your why. So why are you having sex? Why are you doing this practice? Why are you lasting longer? Why are you in a relationship and specifically why today? What is your intention? What is your reason? Okay, so remind yourself of the bigger why and that would allow you to express your intention, to manifest the goals that you are setting. Consecration is also a practice that helps you with centering. Centering, also sometimes known as grounding, is to connect with yourself, to become relaxed, to become present, to become connected to yourself beyond whatever it was that you were doing earlier in the day or whatever it is that you need to do later. Beyond all of the storms, beyond all of the stuff which is arising and passing. So you're centering within yourself. This is really a beautiful aspect of consecration. And you're connecting to yourself, it also allows you to connect to your partner and beyond, which means to God, the divine, the universe, the universal consciousness, love, whatever. Whatever you consider to be beyond you or beyond the physical. Consecration is on a more practical level, a kind of insurance. So with the intention-setting, with the dedication, it's a kind of insurance, which means that you are insuring yourself against failures, against fucking up. Cause if you just feel that you're aroused, you have a hard-on and your woman is horny as well and you jump into bed and you have sex, that's okay, but then in these situations you would find that you, many times, you would miss the point of no return. You would have accidents or just, it would be a physical, cardinal experience, without kind of like a feeling of a deeper meaning. Consecration is an insurance in that it allows you to insure yourself against accidents. You are setting the scene, you're setting the intention. You are taking a moment to relax before. So, it's really something that protects you against some of these accidents. Also, obviously accidents can include impregnation, getting pregnant. Or it includes having unsafe sex because in the heat of the moment, you didn't wanna put a condom on. So when you're consecrating, you can be consecrating your food. When you eat, as well, and you ask yourself, do I wanna eat this now? Is this something that is good for my body? So again, consecration is a practice you can do outside of sex as well. The next practice is called transfiguration. And this is really-- Again, I know that I say this a lot, but it's a life-changing practice. It's a self-changing practice. It's a relationship-changing practice. Transfiguration is a very beautiful, very sacred practice that is just profound. Transfiguration means to shine through, which means to allow your essence to shine through and allows yourself to witness your partner's essence. It's about seeing yourself as Shiva, the divine masculine. And again, you don't have to believe the Indian mythology, it's more of what this word Shiva represents. It represents the masculine quality, the ideal masculine, the pure masculine. And in the process of transfiguration, you are able to, you're meant, that's the idea that you're feeling and seeing yourself as the masculine. And in the same time, you're seeing your partner, you're perceiving your partner as Shakti. Shakti meaning energy, Shakti meaning the divine feminine, with all the feminine qualities. So the more you allow yourself to be Shiva, the more you you see Shakti. And in the same way, the more you allow yourself to see the divine feminine, the queen, in your partner, the more you will become Shiva. I told you this is gonna be a presentation about Tantric sex and this is-- Shiva and Shakti are the aspects of masculine and feminine in Tantra. I also recommend and suggest to you to see Shiva and Shakti in everybody around you. It's kind of like seeing the divine in other people as well. Transfiguration is a ritual, but it's also continuous, which means transfiguration is something that you do for a few minutes before you start having sex, but also throughout the sexual experience, it's a continuous transfiguration. You're continuously feeling yourself as the divine masculine and you're continuously seeing your partner, the divine feminine. And it's also beyond the lovemaking experience, beyond the lovemaking session. It's also throughout the day, throughout the year, throughout your life. It's the practice of transfiguration, practice of seeing yourself and seeing others as divine. My teacher, Swami Vivekananda Saraswati, says that transfiguration is the means and the goal of Tantra. So by practicing transfiguration, you perfecting yourself as a spiritual being. You are reaching also the goal, which is to see yourself and everybody else as divine. So, again, transfiguration is both the means, the practice, and also that the goal of Tantra. I sometimes, jokingly, say that transfiguration is like spiritual foreplay and physical foreplay is great, but in some ways you are adding another spiritual aspect by practicing transfiguration. Transfiguration can be done with the eyes, which means you are looking at your partner's eyes and you're connecting with her soul soul through her eyes. And this is something that you can do for a few minutes, but it's also important that you transfigure your partner's body. It's not just an eye gazing practice. You are looking at her eyes, at her face, and you're seeing her as a divine feminine, but you're also looking at her body, at the curve of her neck, at the shape of her ear lobe, obviously the shape of her breasts and the curves of her belly and so on. So you're really scanning her and she can be scanning you as well. You're looking at each other, while sitting, while standing. Looking at each other's bodies and you seeing her body as the body of the goddess, you're seeing her body as hills and canyons and rivers and forests and bushes and whatever you transfigure it in. You are changing her shape into the world, into the universe, into manifestation. And you are inviting her to witness you as, yeah, as a physical body, but also as an expression, as the manifestation of Shiva, the manifestation of the divine masculine. So, just remember, this is not just an eye gazing practice. Sacred union. So sacred union is kind of like a routine, a way for us to integrate everything that we discussed until now in this presentation and some of the things that we discussed in other lectures and other sections of the program. Sacred union is taking sex beyond fucking, beyond simple sex, into lovemaking and into a spiritual practice. The first aspect, the first step in sacred union is what happens even before the sacred union, which is the step of preparation. In the step of preparation, you're practicing sublimation, which is another word for moving the energy. And as I've mentioned many times and I'm gonna mention it again, this is one of the biggest secrets, the biggest practices, to lasting longer, is subliming before, during and after sex. And also, in this case before, during and after the sacred union practice. It's important that you practice at least, and, remember, when I say at least, it usually means twice more or three times more, at least 10 minutes of sublimation and try to practice the strong practices of sublimation. By the way, if you find yourself practicing sublimation, then you lose your erection and lose your arousal, okay, don't practice that much. But for most people listening to this program, their problem would be that they are too aroused. So always err on the side of more sublimation. Also in the step of preparation, you're also setting the space. You're setting the internal space and you're setting the external space. So you are taking a shower and making yourself really presentable and your woman can do the same. And you're also setting the space in which you are performing the sacred union ritual. Put some incense, put some candles put some nice music. Try that music is not that sexual, let's call it like this, so you elevate the energies with that music. So, yeah, this whole preparation thing would take you at least 10 and probably 15 minutes. The next step is the aspect of consecration that I've mentioned earlier. And you can do this for two or three minutes. You can consecrate internally. And if you're doing sacred union, I find that it's very beautiful to consecrate out loud. So you can say, you hold your partner's hand and you can say, I consecrate, I offer this lovemaking, this sacred union ritual to our love, to our relationship. I offer it to our mission and to us sharing our gifts with the world. I offer it to our spiritual practice or, even, I offer it to God. I offer it to the divine, I offer it to the happiness of all beings. Okay, so you can also repeat your intentions, repeat your goal setting. This is something that creates a container for the whole ritual or sacred union. The next step is the step of transfiguration. So while sitting and you can also do it, you can sit on a chair, you can do it while standing face to face. You don't have to be sitting on the Lotus position on the floor or anything. So you practice transfiguration, and, again, I write five minutes and you can do this for five minutes, you can do this for 20 minutes as well. You can start with five minutes and see how that feels. Look in each other's eyes, look at each other's bodies, as I've mentioned earlier. Then, come the aspect of sex or lovemaking within the sacred union ritual. And, obviously, there's foreplay there as well. It's important that specifically within the sacred union, you can still go, you know, like wild and strong and hard and so on, but I would really recommend you to explore more of the soft and the subtle lovemaking. You can play with the practice of Karezza that I've mentioned. You can take a lot of long pauses, really make this a more subtle experience. And I'm not saying that hard and fast sex is not sacred and not spiritual, but it will be easier for you to connect to the sacredness while you are making love slowly. At least, in the beginning. The next practice, is the next step of the sacred union, is meditation. So let's say you actually put a timer for 40 minutes or 60 minutes or an hour and a half, whatever, for your lovemaking. And in the midst of the lovemaking, by the way, you still stopping and subliming and moving the energy and pausing for a moment and going back in and engaging in continuous foreplay, love-play, pleasuring each other, connecting with each other, still transfigurating, the whole thing. But it's good to set a timer and say, okay, when the timer goes off, we're gonna stop and we're gonna meditate. And you notice that, in that moment, you might wanna continue to make love, but it's good if you are true to your intention and say no, this is a ritual, we are following the ritual step-by-step. And then, you're practicing meditation for five minutes or 10 minutes. And practicing meditation is-- I would recommend doing it without touching each other. So if you're still wrapped around each other, that's still a meditation, but it would be-- You would feel more the body and the sensations and so on. So start, gradually, to sit in front of each other, maybe without touching each other. You simply close your eyes and you meditate, you witness what is happening in your body. What are your sensations? What are the feelings and emotions that you're feeling? And focus on observing them, witnessing them, without necessarily reacting to them. Meditation, obviously, is a huge topic by itself, but it really starts with observing your thoughts and observing your breath, coming in and going out. And you might find that your meditation after lovemaking is much stronger than it is usually. This is also after meditation, by the way, just before the next step. You might also want to perform more sublimation, more practices of moving the energy. Physical practices, mental practices and so on. Because it's very, very important that you move your energy after, specifically after a sacred union ritual, so the energy is not stuck, is not locked in your genital areas. And now I would like to ask you, what do you think is the next step? What is the next step in the sacred union? Okay, apart from sublimation that I've mentioned, what do you do? It's like you did preparation, you did consecration, you did transfiguration, looking in each other's eyes and bodies, you made love, you meditated for a few minutes. What's next? Some people think it's like afterwards you cuddle and you spend the rest of the night together or you go and have a meal or you wash yourself together. And these are all viable answers, there's nothing wrong about them, but I would like to suggest to you something else. And this might surprise you, but the recommendation and what I learned from my Tantric teacher and what I teach to my students in the workshops is to actually practice separation. this is obviously something that I practice myself. And separation means that after the meditation, after you're meditating together, you separate either to different rooms and if possible, even different houses, if you have different houses. And you as the man, maybe you will take a tent and go to the park or to the forest or whatever, after the sacred union, which means you don't sleep in the same house in that night. And you might be wondering, why do that? This is the moment where you feel more connected than before. You want to be glued to each other. And this is exactly the reason why to do that because it's like a magnet. You two have magnetized and really want to be together and want to keep having sex or to cuddle for the rest of the night or to sleep together, but you are actually charged with masculine and feminine energies. And by separating, you're actually keeping that polarity, that attraction of the masculine and the feminine. So by separating, you're actually creating more polarity in your relationship, more polarity in your sex life. Which also allows you to go back to your own space and to remember, yes, I am having sex and sacred union with my partner, but I am still me, I am still myself. You don't lose yourself, in the negative sense, in your partner. It allows you not to be attached to your partner, so you can still dissolve with your partner, but it allows you to work on your attachment issues, on your partner's attachment issues as well. If that is not possible, try at least to separate for half an hour or for an hour, if it's not possible to go to another house or to go with a tent out to the forest. Try to separate for an hour and see how that feels. And what I really promise you is that the next day, if you separate for the whole night and you meet each other for the next day, you will have much more attraction the next day. Because, in Hebrew, we call it retire while you are at the peak. Okay, something like that. (foreign language) Which means you go to the peak, you go to the peak of the sexual experience and again, without ejaculating. I really recommend doing this specifically sacred union without ejaculating, cause otherwise you're missing the whole point of this practice. There is no Tantra without control of the sexual energy. You haven't ejaculated, you get to the end of this hour-long ritual and then you separate, you're going to have so much sexual energy between you, it's gonna be amazing. So really recommend you to do this in this step-by-step process. Sacred union is something that, I really recommend you to do the full ritual, as I've mentioned, but sometimes you would do it in a symbolic way. Symbolic way means that instead of going for 10 minutes preparation and three minutes consecration and so on, you might do it for much shorter than that. Sometimes you don't have an hour and a half to do all of this. Maybe you only have 20 minutes. So you sublime for one or two minutes, you sublime, you move the energy for one or two minutes and then you close your eyes, you hold hands with your partner and you do consecration for one minute. You remind yourself, oh, I am controlling my ejaculation. Oh, I am doing this for our relationship, not just for myself. And then, while you are making love, you are transfigurating or you can do this for a minute. You can just look at each other's eyes, faces, bodies, seeing the goddess, Shiva and Shakti, within each other. And then lovemaking, obviously, controlling your ejaculation and then meditating for two minutes afterwards. So it doesn't have to be the whole hour, hour and a half process. I really recommend you to include all of these steps, all of these aspects within your daily lovemaking as well. So what did you learn in this exercise? What did you learn in this video? I welcome you to write in your journal, actually write, so either with your handwriting or on a keyboard, three things, three takeaways from this video. Either completely new ideas and practices or things that you already knew and it was good, it was good reminders. Share in the comments below your three takeaways from this video. And I also recommend and suggest and ask you to share your progress in the Facebook group. If you have done the sacred ritual, sacred union ritual, how did that work? What did you feel? What were your experiences? And, generally, how are you progressing with the program and with ejaculation control? This was how to have Tantric sex and I'll see you in the next video. - [Instructor] How to have better, longer sex. So we're getting deeper into the program, deeper into the practices. And now we're gonna talk about how to actually have sex with your partner, with a woman and not just practicing by yourself. This is part of the transform step, the transform aspect of the five-aspect model. Now, before we begin, I just wanna ask you a few questions to check how you are progressing. So how is your self-pleasuring going? And I really encourage you to take a 30-day commitment to self-pleasure for at least 20 minutes which actually means 30 or 40 minutes. Specifically if possible, with the aim of not ejaculating for at least a few days to get your energy to build up a little bit. To see how it feels when you are charged with this energy. Also, how is your edging practice going? Edging is the idea for getting not exactly to the point of no return, but let's say to the 50% of arousal or 60% of arousal, and then relaxing, moving the energy and starting again. So that's how you become aware of the point of no return, and this is how you're learning to move your energy as well. So how is that going? If you're not practicing that, I highly recommend practicing that. You can even, you know, if you wish, you can pause this video, stop this video go back to the sections, make sure that you practice this, because this would make a difference for your lovemaking. If you're not practicing this, you can still make love, but you'll get much less, much weaker results, much less results than you would if you were practicing self-pleasuring, edging and also moving the energy. So moving the energy, are you practicing the basic techniques and how is that going? And again there's a specific section about basic techniques. And how are the advanced techniques going? So the advanced techniques take a little bit more effort to learn, to understand, to practice, but obviously they are advanced, they have stronger effects, they have more benefits. They have other benefits outside of sexuality as well. So how is that going? I shared with you a lot of different techniques both in the basic, mostly in the basic section. So make sure that you practice that before you start making love. The troubleshooting section. So you might be dealing with some stuff, with some challenges and some issues around the practice. Just remember there's a troubleshooting aspect called something like, "Oops, I did it again." And make sure that you watch the videos there. There's a lot of information, a lot of reminders there that would help you also in making love and having sex. And also obviously with your self-practice. Are you journaling? I really, really, really recommend journaling. So as you're writing your experiences from day to day, from session to session, you would see how your experiences are changing. You would see some patterns. You would see stuff come up. And also when you in a few weeks, in a few months, when you look back at these journals you would say, "Oh wow. I used to last two minutes, now I last 20 minutes." Or "Now I last an hour. And now I go for two weeks between ejaculations and I experience whole body orgasms and I have an amazing sex life." So journaling would really give you this, would really give you this perspective. And also, are you part of the program? Are you interacting? Are you sharing? And again, you don't have to do this, but this makes you more accountable. So you read, you watch a certain video, a certain section, and then you write in the comments, what did you learn, or what are you dealing with. The Facebook group is your general progress. And again, you can both share for your own benefit and also you can support other people who are challenged. Maybe you can support other people with just by listening to them and say, "Oh, you know, yes brother, I hear, this is tough." Or celebrating their wins. The first thing to do start with as always, with having sex, having longer and better sex, is to look at your why. So why do you want to have sex? I know that sounds a bit silly again, I've asked you this again, but why do you actually wanna have sex? What is your intention in having sex? Why do you wanna, what do you wanna get out of it? Do you wanna last longer? And why do you wanna last longer? What's the reasons? What's your why? And why are you here on earth? What's your mission? What's your purpose? What's your goals? What's your project right now? And it's important to tie these two things together. So remember you have a mission. And remember that doing this practice, and these practices is a way for you to build your energy and empower yourself to share your gift, to help other people to make money, to make a dent in the universe. So yeah, really consider all of these things, and if you don't have really, really specific answers, go back to the why section and make sure that you are watching these videos and those videos. And you have a really strong why. A reminder that if you do what you've always done, you're gonna get what you have always got. And making love in this different way, necessitates you trying different things. Different techniques, different practices. Okay, doing things differently. A few things that you do before you start making your love, before you have sex. The important thing is time and timing. And most people don't really think about this. It's like, "Oh, you know, I have a hard on so I'm gonna have sex." That's okay, but it's really good to prepare as well. And the time and the timing is really important. So it's really important if you can, to dedicate an hour. And, you know, I respect that if you have four children and you're working two jobs, and your woman is working as well, that maybe you would not have an hour. But maybe once every two weeks or once every four weeks, you would have an hour. So really create these opportunities. Create this times that you will have more time to connect deeply. Mornings and daytimes are better. And in collective conscious and the media and the culture, it's like the night is related to having sex. But actually, in my experience and experience of others, mornings and daytimes are usually better. You're more alert, you're more sober, you'll have more energy. And in the morning specifically, you're more fresh. Okay, so really try to have an early morning wins, whenever you wake up, sex session. Be careful when she's ovulating and when she's menstruating. So when she's ovulating, her body is releasing an egg. And this is where women are usually very, very horny, and they're most fertile then, so the body is telling them to have sex and to draw the men's seed. I was with a few partners that it was very challenging around their ovulation to have sex with them. And it really felt like they were trying to suck the seed, suck my semen out. Menstruation, when they're on the period, when they're bleeding. Again, they have, it's by the way, it's totally okay to have sex when they're menstruating, there's no problem with that. But also their energy would be stronger and heavier and so on. So be careful around that. Also be careful around the full moon. The full moon is a time where there's strong, heavy sexual energies and you might wanna either skip making love on the full moon when you're just starting the practice, or be extra careful or maybe avoid penetration or avoid friction or avoid yeah, avoid penetration altogether sometimes. Another thing about timing. Avoid having sex after a heavy meal. So after a heavy meal, your sexual energy is, your energy is generally concentrated or focused on your lower body. On belly, digestion and so on. So that makes it more difficult to move the energy, so avoid that. And also avoid having sex when you're tired, angry, or stressed. Also by the way, when you're hungry. Okay, so don't don't have sex without having a meal, but notice that if you're really hungry you might feel like, "Oh, I have to finish you know, sex so I can eat something afterwards." And fasting is a good practice by itself. Just be aware that you're not gonna like craving food, and instead you're giving yourself the pleasure for ejaculation, the five-second pleasure for ejaculation. And specifically not when you're tired, because again you're less present, you're less focused. Not when you're angry because you will be putting all of this energy inside your woman. And not when you're stressed, because your mind is gonna tell you, "Oh, ejaculate so you will relax." But actually ejaculating would make you depleted and less able to deal with whatever it is that is stressing you. I also would recommend avoiding having sex after consuming alcohol or any other drugs. They make you receptive, they make you less present, less sober, and you might be less aware of how aroused you are and miss the point of no return. And also you might be less present with your lover. After you master this practice, after you practice for a few months, it is okay to have like one glass of red wine and it really opens the heart and relaxes you a little bit. Anything more than that, by the way also hurts your erection as well. So I would really recommend avoiding that. Other things to do before. Remind her about your practice. Remind her, darling, it's like, "Remember I am practicing ejaculation control and it's really important for me to last longer and maybe even to avoid it for a few days or a few weeks. So just remember what we talked about." And make sure that you watch the section about how to deal with your partner. And also there's a lecture there, yeah, there's a lecture there but, that you can show her and have her read and watch, and so she can understand why you're doing this. Remember to move your energy before you start. Again, this is again one of the big missing pieces from so much sexuality schools, traditions, teachers, and so on. You need to start moving the energy before you penetrate. Before you meet her even. Before you see her. Already do a 10-minutes, 20 minutes of moving the energy so you don't meet her when you are crazily horny and your cork is kind of like exploding with sexual energy. So move the energy before that, before sex. And that would create some kind of like energy movement before the sex even starts. You know, so your energy already started to move up your body. Yes. So before, yeah? Before you start having sex, even before you meet her. If possible, have her move her energy as well. And again, I recommend you to take full personal responsibility, and you don't rely on your woman. But if she's cooperating with you, that will be even easier for you. And again, she needs to do this before sex. And you would notice that sex becomes, it can still be spontaneous, but it's really good sometimes to plan it and to make it more of a conscious and intentional action. So one that you prepare for, one that you set the time and the space and the room. One that you do some practices before and after. One that you set an intention for. And that also includes taking a few minutes to move the energy.

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