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Intimate Touch Online Course:
Practical Tips for Genital Stimulation

With
Libby Sheppard
,
Touch & Intimacy Expert
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About This Course

Looking to experience deeper pleasure, more confidence, and great sex? Look no further. In Intimate Touch, you’ll learn the foundations of genital anatomy and master the art of sensual touch.

What You Will Learn

  1. Understand your own and your partner’s genitals
  2. The concepts of relaxed giving and active receiving
  3. Practical tips and techniques for intimate touch
  4. How to set up your space and find a comfortable position

Take This Course and Hundreds More

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Taught by the world’s top experts.

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Quick results & easy-to-follow instructions.

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For everyone. Singles, couples, all genders and orientations.

Your Instructor

Libby Sheppard

Touch & Intimacy Expert

Libby Sheppard is an Intimacy Coach, specialized in sensual touch. With a background in Sexological Bodywork blended with experience in Tantra, meditation and coaching, she helps individuals seeking greater sensation, relaxation and more pleasure in their lives.

More by This Instructor

Lessons and Classes

Total length:
more than 180 min
  1. 1. How to Use This Course
  2. 2. Why and How of Intimate Touch
  3. 3. The Basis of a Good Sex Life
  4. 4. 3 Stage Mindful Masturbation
  5. 5. Self Erotic Massage
  6. 6. Top-To-Toe Touch
  7. 7. Foundations of Touch
  8. 8. Breath Meditation
  9. 9. Anatomy
  10. 10. Female Pelvis
  11. 11. Male Pelvis
  12. 12. Mapping Exercise
  13. 13. Mapping Your Own Genitals
  14. 14. Mapping Your Partner’s Genitals
  15. 15. Reflecting on Your Experience
  16. 16. Before You Begin the Vulva and Vagina Massage
  17. 17. The Pelvis Massage
  18. 18. The Vulva Massage
  19. 19. The Lips Massage
  20. 20. The Clitoris Massage
  21. 21. Internal Touch Massage
  22. 22. Full Vulva and Vagina Massage Session
  23. 23. Before You Begin the Penis Massage
  24. 24. The Perineum Massage
  25. 25. The Pelvis Massage
  26. 26. The Shaft Massage
  27. 27. The Tip Massage
  28. 28. The Balls Massage
  29. 29. Full Penis Massage Session
  30. 30. Reflection

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Develop skills to become a better giver and an active receiver.

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Transcripts

Hi, I'm Libby at Touch of Happiness. I'm a sex coach and masseuse specialising in intimate touch. My clients are men, women and couples who want to address specific issues in their relationship to sex, arousal and pleasure, or who just want to learn more about how they can be more intimate with themselves and others and have more enjoyable and satisfying sex lives. So regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not, if you've never touched your own or anyone else's genitals, or if you regularly touch and are touched, if you've never had sex before or if it's your favourite hobby... There is something here for you. I've worked with more than 1000 people. I've touched a lot of genitals and learnt a lot about what's holding people back from really enjoying their bodies. In these online courses, I'm going to share with you all my wisdom, knowledge and techniques for really amazing sensual massage and genital touch. The combined course of male and female genital massage is great for couples or for anyone who wants a complete guide to touching any kind of body. If you want to be more focused and specific you can sign up for just a male or female course. Each option will give you guidance on practical things like setting up your space, the kind of oil to use, and suggestions for music playlists, as well as basic anatomical information and over an hour of step-by-step video teaching demonstrated on real genitals. Joining any course also gives you the option of access to the private Touch of Happiness Facebook community where you can share your journey learn and connect with others. You can enrol on the basic course package and explore independently, or something I highly recommend is that you choose the VIP package which includes a one-hour private video coaching call with me. This is an amazing way to deepen your experience, get support with the touch techniques, as well as suggestions for individually tailored exercises to work through any challenges you might be facing. You can read more about each course by clicking on 'Choose your course' above, or the relevant link further down the page. This also gives you a sneak preview of the course curriculum. If you have any questions, you can email me on [email protected] So thank you and I really look forward to seeing you on the course soon! Hi, I'm Libby at Touch of Happiness, welcome to my online genital massage training. This video is an introduction just to cover some basics before you move onto the techniques and touch practices for the actual massage. So why will we give genital massage? There's lots of reasons, primarily to connect with your partner. It's a great way to find intimacy and connection in a way that isn't focused on penetrative sex. So there's also an opportunity with this to build really strong foundations of trust in your relationship: it can give this imprint of no expectations between you. It's a really amazing way to just explore and learn about your own body, and also your partner's body... if sex is a hobby that you enjoy or something that you like to do together then, you know, it's really important to practice in the same way that you would if you were learning a musical instrument. So a great intention to hold when you're giving or receiving genital massage is that this is a way to increase your capacity for sensation. What I mean by that is that we are bringing relaxed awareness and attention to our genitals, and to the rest of our body. You're going to be stimulating different nerve endings in different ways, with different types of touch and all of this just allows you to feel more in your body. For guys, receiving genital massage is a great way to help you to conduct your arousal levels and perhaps not ejaculate early. Or, if you're working with the tantric practice of non-ejaculation, receiving regular genital massage can really help to get over that feeling of like too much energy or arousal built up in the base of your body. So it allows you to relax, to spread sensation and regulate your arousal levels. For women, it really helps to open up your potential for different kinds of non clitoral based orgasms, so again with stimulating different nerve endings in different areas of your genitals not just your clitoris. We kind of rewire this association in the body that says 'my genitals are being touched therefore I'm going to be penetrated', which allows the walls of your vagina and your genitals to relax and when they relax you get more sensation. Also for women, this is a really great way to help alleviate menstrual cramps and menstrual pain. So you can receive this kind of touch from your partner, whether that's during the bleed part of your cycle or at any other stage of your cycle. It's a great way to soften, to soothe, and to relax the tissues, the tendons, the whole base of your body, which really supports in getting through any of those difficult periods. So one of the most foundation principles in the tantric approach to sex is that there is no goal. There's no finish line that we're trying to rush over, there's nothing that we achieve. So genital massage and intimate massage becomes this goal free exploration of intimacy and arousal and pleasure. So during your massage experiences with your partner, or partners, arousal and horniness are really, really welcome however, they're not required. So it may be that your massage experience is just deeply relaxing, it may be that there's a lot of emotion that moves. This is a practice in just being present with whatever physical sensations or emotional sensations are there. There's nothing that we are trying to achieve. So now I'm going to give you some helpful hints and tips on the 'how' of giving a sensual, intimate massage. Obviously we're going to go into more detail in terms of the specific touch techniques in these later videos but before you even get to the intimate part of touching your partner It's really, really important to make sure that the space that you're going to be dropping into this experience in, is set up well. Do your preparation, make sure that everything you need is to hand so that your partner who is receiving can really just trust, surrender and relax into the experience. So a couple of things: they might seem obvious but just make sure that these are ticked off your preparation list. Firstly, make sure that your room is nice and warm, put the heating on for an hour before you're going to go into the massage experience. You might like to buy a little air heater as well, put that on for 20-30 minutes before you're going to move into the room. Lighting: make sure your lighting is nice and low, soft, that there's no obtrusive overhead lights shining in your receiver's eyes. You might like to have some gentle background music - at the bottom of the page you'll find a link to my Spotify accounts where there are lots of really lovely, varied playlists for you to use. I like to use a heated blanket underneath the space that my receiver is lying on. It just makes sure that their body stays warm, there's nothing worse than feeling cold when you're receiving a massage. That's a top tip for you: heated blanket under sheet that you're working on. There's obviously some basic equipment that you're going to need to use when you're giving a massage, make sure that you have those to hand so they're nearby so you don't have to get up during the massage, move around, leave the room etc. Oil: I recommend coconut oil. Please don't use any kind of perfumed or scented oils, particularly with female genitals. It isn't great for the pH balance of this very delicate area so coconut oil or any other unscented, unperfumed oil is great. So it's nice to warm and melt your oil before you start applying it to your partner's body. I find it really useful to put my oil in a jug. You can use a dish or a bottle, but just something that you can then pour the oil into your hand. You can put the jug or the the glass into just a bowl of boiling water and that's enough to to melt and warm the oil. Alternatively you can use one of these, which is a really simple teapot warmer. It has a little candle inside and you just put the jug on top, the heat warms up the oil. The only thing I would say is it can get very hot so make sure that you don't leave the oil on there for more than about 5 minutes. Other great things to have to hand, maybe a cover or blanket for your partner's feet, some extra cushions if they're needed under the knees just to make sure that they're really comfortable. Maybe some water, tissues... You know your partner better than I do so anticipate their needs, make sure that you have everything ready that they're possibly going to need. So it's really important when you're giving this kind of intimate, sensual massage your body is relaxed. Any tension or tightness that is held in your body is going to be felt straight away by your receiver. Also if you're uncomfortable you're not going to be able to keep going and give that kinda long, flowing, intimate session. So it's really important to take care of your own body first. In the video lower down the page, where I'm demonstrating different techniques for genital touch, you'll see me sitting in one position, but I'm going to share with you here a couple of different ways that you can sit to make sure that you're comfortable. Please adjust, try them out, find what works best for you. The first one that we're gonna show is the one that you'll see me demonstrating in the video. You need quite good kinda hip flexibility and hamstring flexibility, so if this one isn't for you, don't worry there are others that we can do. So, first of all I'm going to get my partner to bend her knees up and move her feet apart, and I'm going to come and sit with my legs underneath hers. I'm getting my bum nice and comfortable and then I'm going to get her to just rest her legs on mine, and they can be really nice and heavy. All the weight of her legs can just drop down into mine. It's a really comfortable position for your partner's hips, their pelvis, taking weight off their thighs. If this isn't comfortable you can place a cushion, or a rolled up towel, under your bum and that just tilts your pelvis a little bit. It can help it to be a little bit more comfortable. So another option in this position is that you can be resting your back against the head of the bed, or if you have one of those meditation chairs that has a back that can also be helpful in just giving a little bit of support to your spine so your core can relax. The leg position and your seating position would be exactly the same but just give yourself a little bit of support from the head of the bed or a meditation chair. So in this position it's a little bit easier if you don't have such great hip or hamstring flexibility. So I'm sitting with my knees apart as you might do in a child's pose in yoga. My bum is resting on my heels. You can make this a little bit easier again for yourself by just putting a cushion. between your bum and your heels. The bigger that that cushion is the easier this position is going to be for you. Your partner's legs, again, just rest over your thighs. You can add some extra cushions there so that their legs can really relax. And then you can connect in and go with your massage from here. So this final position is a side on position. It can be helpful if you don't have such great mobility and flexibility in your hips and hamstrings. My legs, one is positioned out in front and bent, the other is tucked and bent behind me here. You can bring a cushion under your own knee if that helps to just reduce the tension through the inner thigh here, and then I'm going to get my partner to bring her knees up. I'm going to put a cushion there for her legs to just drop open, one leg rests on the pillow the other leg is resting on my inner thigh and my calf. So there's this nice bit of connection and contact here. All the techniques that you see me demonstrate in the video you can do from this side on position, but just make that adjustment, you won't be facing her body, you'll be side on here. Hello and welcome. Thank you for signing up for this course. Congratulations in taking a step on your journey of sexual exploration, and investing in your own growth and pleasure. This course is structured as follows: this introduction chapter covers some basic practical details - setting up your space, comfortable positions to sit in, things like that. The Foundations of Touch introduces the idea of relaxed giving and active receiving, some tools to play with the to help you to relax and feel as much as possible during a massage. Once those basics are covered there's a bit of theory giving you a simple insight into the anatomy of your genitals, and an exercise to physically explore them. Finally over an hour of video teaching on techniques and ways to touch genitals with love, confidence and presence so that your receiving partner can trust, relax and enjoy the abundance of pleasure, arousal and sensations in their body. I encourage you to try out, practice and get familiar with each technique in turn. The video teaching is organised into chapters, which cover different areas of the genitals. Once you've explored these there's an option to follow along with the full massage sequence in real-time: a delicious hour of stroking, caressing, stimulating, arousing, relaxing touch. When the touch techniques become familiar to your hands you can start to play with you and your partner's favourites: move between them, mix them up, leave out the ones that your partner doesn't enjoy so much, blend them into your own individual and unique choreography. This is a practical hands-on course focused on exploring and expanding your capacity for sensation. I also encourage you to talk, share and reflect on your experiences with a partner, or via the comment sections on the course, to also enhance your cognitive understanding and learning. So this is a somatic learning experience - body and mind. Somatic learning is not purely theoretical - you will not learn new erotic practices just by watching a video. You'll learn by watching and then involving your body. Somatic learning involves conscious practice over time. No one learns to play an instrument or sport overnight. No one learns new ways of being sexual in one viewing of a video. Learning involves muscular and neurological growth, which take time and practice. So, follow the videos, try out the different techniques and then switch off the screen and continue your practice. Come back to the videos on subsequent days: maybe explore the next chapter. Come back to the videos regularly over the months, years, decades, but always with an accompaniment of focused embodied practice. I hope that you enjoy your learning experience with Touch Of Happiness Massage School and I look forward to engaging with you in the process. So, I'm going to introduce to you now some basic principles of relaxed giving and active receiving. What I mean by that...relaxed giving, being in this space of not needing to please, not needing to perform, or 'fix' your partner. I'm also referring to your physical body: making sure that you are relaxed, that there's no tension in your body, but also that your approach to your partner has no goal or agenda. With active receiving what I'm talking about is staying present and staying engaged, so not drifting off into distractions or thoughts in your head. Staying out of fantasy or visuals and actually just tuning in to what you can feel in your body in terms of physical sensation, or emotional sensation. Active receiving also involves giving feedback and adjustment to your partner without micro-managing. So there's some really simple tips that I can give you to just help you be in that space. It means that your experience is going to be a lot more deep and connected and intimate with your partner. The first thing, before you start touching or being touched, take a few moments to just check in with your own body. A really simple way to do this is: take 3 deep breaths, inhale through your nose - exhale through your mouth. As you're breathing, as you're taking those breaths just notice what you can feel. Is there any tension, is there anything busy going on in your mind... allow yourself to settle into the space whether you're giving or whether you're receiving in this session. Another really great tip: slow down. You'll notice in my demonstrations later that my touch is really slow, so I'm not rushing, I'm not hurrying. The more that you take your time, the more that you both will feel as the giver and as the receiver. So my three Foundation principles for really great, embodied, intimate touch are: breath, sound and movement. Let me break that down for you... Breath: there is nothing complicated that we have to do, I'm not going to teach you any fancy breathing patterns, but the idea is to allow your breath to be as deep, as full and as constant as you can allow it to be - and that goes for whether you're receiving touch or whether you're giving touch. Making sure that you're tuned into what's happening with your breath will keep you relaxed and will keep you present. I generally encourage that you inhale through your nose and then exhale through your mouth. So really think about relaxing your jaw and letting that exhale just fall out. You might notice when you're receiving, and when you're giving, that, at times you just stop breathing, that you forget to breathe. Often that's because you've got distracted, you've drifted off up into your head. So just use the breath as a reset: if you notice that you're distracted, come back to the breath, take a deep inhale through the nose and a long exhale through the mouth. Sound: we're all often bit self-conscious, a bit nervous, but I'm really going to encourage you, whether you're giving or receiving touch, to make some sound. Let some expression come out with the breath. So that might just be like a deep sigh, maybe more of like a hum, that little bit of vibration, little bit of resonance in the chest, the throat. It's a great way to bring some attention and awareness into the chest, to move arousal and sensation up through the body. It also helps to just relax the jaw, relax the throat and relax the diaphragm. The more relaxed your body is, the more you're going to feel. Movement is a really important part of active receiving. So there's this difference between passive... and actively engaged in your role as a receiver. Simple gentle movements are a really great way to just stay connected to your body, to stay engaged. So, things like letting the hands move, just opening and closing. Maybe bringing the hands to rest on your own body. Letting the toes and the feet move, giver and receiver. Maybe letting the head roll a little bit side-to-side. Letting the hips have a little shimmy and shake, particularly for the receiver. Yeah, great. And anywhere that you notice tension, or tightness, or holding, coming into the body... I'll get my partner here to demonstrate - sometimes you'll notice that the buttocks tense up, that the lower belly tenses up, maybe the thighs tense and clench. You can either just let that go, yeah, see that her lower body really relaxes here. Or you can bring that little bit of gentle movement, so that little hip wiggle, hands, feet, head. Just keeping yourself engaged and present with your body. Communication between giver and receiver is really important during an intimate, sensual massage. There's a couple of different ways that you can give and receive feedback to avoid that kinda space of like micro-managing, or 'pleasing' as the giver. So I as the giver, when I'm checking in with my partner, I ask helpful questions like 'would you like this touch firmer or lighter?' 'Would you like me to move a little bit faster, or slower?' Rather than 'How does that feel?' 'Is this OK?' 'Am I doing it right?' In the second version you're kind of going into that 'pleasing', 'performing'. It's also is a bit vague for your partner to give feedback. So try and bring in those questions with different options: firmer touch, lighter touch, faster, slower. That means that your partner can give really helpful directive feedback and you don't have to guess. As the receiver, positive affirmation rather than nit-picking is generally quite helpful, so you can say things like 'it feels really good when you move a little bit slower, I can feel so much more' rather than 'go slower', 'you're not going slow enough', 'That's too fast'... So can you feel how the difference in the tone of my feedback as the receiver there? So as a giver it's really nice, if you do receive feedback or adjustments in your touch from your partner, to just repeat back what you've heard from them and then acknowledge it with a thank you. It can be really reassuring to your receiver so they know that you've heard them, you've got them, and that you're taking that feedback on board. Receiver... You can also give non-verbal feedback. So there's a couple of ways: my partner can give me literally a thumbs up, or thumbs down and that's a great indicater to me that what I'm doing needs a little bit of adjustment and then I'll bring in the questions. 'Would you like a little more pressure or less pressure?' so that I can tune into what she needs. The other way that my receiving partner can give feedback is by showing with her body. So if I'm doing something, or I'm touching an area of your body that doesn't feel so nice, how could you show me that you don't like that? You see that her body kinda tightens up, her legs kinda closed in a little bit? So as a giver I'm always trying to read and feel what's happening with my partner's body.. that's going to be a lot easier if you're go slow. Remember at the beginning of this video I said slow down. It's probably the most important top tip for intimate and sensual massage. So we've covered the basics, the Foundations, you're now ready to move on. The next step in the course is to check out the anatomy diagrams below, and explore the mapping exercise. From there you can move on to all of the techniques of genital massage and intimate touch. I hope you enjoy and keep coming back to continue your intimate learning at home. Thanks. So we're going to begin our yoni massage by coming into connection with the front of the pelvis and the hips. We're going to start with stillness so that we can connect with our partner and allow their body to relax and drop into the massage. So I'm gonna take a little bit of heat between my palms and then I'm bringing them to rest over the front of her pelvis. I'm connecting with her womb, her ovaries. And I'm just holding here in stillness. You can let your breath Start to sync up with hers. I'm just taking this time at the beginning of the session to connect. So from here, we're going to take a figure of eight across the front of the pelvis, moving round over the hip bones. So I'm tracing this figure of eight with the central point on the front of the the pelvis. So moving round... and over the hip bones. And it's a flat, gentle, relaxed hand. Caressing over the whole of the front of the pelvis. If you have or use vibrators at home this can be a really nice way to kind of use the vibrator without bringing it directly into contact with the body. So, hold one hand gently over the front of the pelvis and then bring the vibrator to rest on the back of your hand. This helps to sort of disperse the vibration and sends the sensation out into the hips, into the lower belly, helping to soften and relax the the muscles at the the base of the torso and in the front of the pelvis. So with genital massage we're not just focusing on the genitals. We're remembering the rest of the body as well. So from here I'm going to stroke and caress down through the central channel of the body. So I'm reaching up towards the heart, and then stroking down... and over the front of the pelvis. Letting the hands follow each other, flow down through the centre of the body. This is really helpful just to bring some connection into the heart area We soften through the diaphragm and through the belly as well as the touch flows down through the body. So still working on the fronts of the pelvis, we're going to use a rainbow stroke. So I'm imagining a rainbow from my partner's hip to her other hip. And then I'm letting the hands caress and stroke down. Following the arc of that rainbow onto the pubic bone. You can use a really light, almost kind of fingertip touch here. Very, it's a very sensitive and... delicate area of skin. So this very light touch, can be ticklish, it can be pleasurable... You can mix that up with a firmer stroke, so using more of the palm of your hand. And that mix of texture in your touch is great for kind of waking up the skin... and really helping your partner's body to relax into the massage. So this touch is focused on the mons pubis, the front of the pubic bone here, so the very apex of the vulva. The first thing that we're going to do is a little bit of pressure through the heel of the hand, letting the fingertips just rest, and then we do very gentle circles with the heel of the hand. This is really great for relaxing the very base of the abdominal muscles, and this area can sometimes be quite sensitive, can hold quite a lot of tension. So, as always, start with light pressure and then gradually increase. You're just rotating and circling the heel of the hand. We're also stimulating, very lightly, the very root of the clitoris and there's quite a lot of nerve endings through the mons pubis here, through the pubic bone. The other hand can rest on the thigh, can rest on the belly, Or for a little more weight and pressure you can use two hands and bring those circles. So then bringing the thumbs onto the pubic bone, on to the mons pubis and we're going to do these little circles with the thumbs. You're thinking about moving from the apex here up towards the belly button. So gently stretching almost as you circle up. Use light pressure as you come a little bit further away from the pubic bone cause you will be maybe pressing into the bladder, which can feel a bit uncomfortable if you go too hard. Your partner may have a Cesarean section scar, my partner here has a abdominal scar as well from surgery, so if there's anything in terms of scar tissue across the lower belly just go really gently. It can sometimes feel sensitive there might be also some numbness there. So, gentle touch up over that area can be very relaxing, can restore sensation, but also can be really nourishing and connecting. So also on the front of the pelvis, your partner might have pubic hair. My partner today doesn't but pubic hair can be a really fun part of your massage. So you can tug gently, maybe roll your fingers around in the pubic hair. That little bit of a pull or tug can feel like a, just a nice sensation for the follicles in the skin underneath. So play, if your partner has pubic hair, play with a little bit of connection and touch through there as well. So, we're now going to start working with the vulva, the whole of the outside of the female genitals, so that includes the outer lips, the inner lips, clitoris and the whole of the base of the pelvis really. So we're going to start with this holding. The whole of my flat hand is just resting over her vulva, over her lips. And again, it's this space to just let your partner's body relax. You're not rushing and not hurrying. You can bring your other hand to rest over the front of the pelvis... over where womb and ovaries are. Just holding and connecting. You might feel the legs relax as the hips relax, the weight of the legs might drop a little bit more. So in this holding position I'm now going to take the other hand to give a little bit more pressure onto the back of my first hand, and take this little jiggle, a little rock from side to side. So, I'm moving my hand side to side gently bringing some movement to her pelvis, you might see that travel up through her spine, through her torso, maybe up into her shoulders and neck, maybe the head might even start to just relax and let go as well. There's just this gentle rock and jiggle from side to side. With the hands in the holding position here we're gonna bring some pulsing, so a little bit of pressure and then release with the hands. So I'm putting most of the pressure through the heel and the palm of my hand, my fingers are nice and relaxed and just resting on the front of her pelvis. And then I bring a little bit of pressure in and up... and then I release and relax. Little bit of pressure in... and then release and relax. You can take the whole hand away or just soften the pressure. What's nice here as well is to blend your movement with her breath. As she inhales I give a little pressure. As she exhales I release and relax. She inhales I gave a little pressure. And then releasing. So now we're moving from this holding position and we're gonna bring in this very slow and smooth slide of our hands. I call this an 'iceberg slide' because it's moving so slowly it's kind of iceberg pace. So with the hand starting in the holding position here, I'm then gonna let the heel of the hand move up towards the pubic bone very slowly. And then I'm following with the other hand. There's some pressure through the heel of my hand, you don't have to be too timid with this, but check in with your partner - ask them would they like more pressure, less pressure? You can let the hand come just up onto the pelvis here before you bring it back and start again, or you can let the hand travel up a little higher onto the belly. All the way up through to the diaphragm. And that helps to sort of bring in the rest of the body as well. So with touch we can obviously use the palms of our hands, and fingers... We can also use the backs of our hands, which is what we're gonna use for this stroke. So I'm starting the touch with my wrist and I'm going to let the back of my hand slide up and over her vulva, over the outer lips. So connect with the wrist, sliding up onto the pubic bone and then following with the other hand. The texture of the back of a hand feels quite different to the palm so this creates quite a different sensation. It's also really great for contacting and connecting with the whole of the outside of the vulva. So we really get connection and touch through the outer lips. We start to bring connection and touch to these delicate inner lips. The back of the hand might stroke over the head of the clitoris as well, so it's really quite a sensation-full stroke. The other thing I love about this one is you can't do this to yourself. It's quite hard to come and get your hands around and touch with the back of your own hands, so it's kind of a sensation that you can't experience without a partner. So continuing to work with the vulva here we're going to take a sort of old-fashioned clothes peg shape with the finger and thumb here, and then doing a sort of very gentle squeeze of the outer lips. I'm coming in and sliding from the outer edges, picking up as much as I can of the vulva and doing a little gentle squeeze. And again this pressure from the outside is contacting into the vestibular bulbs, those pieces of erectile tissue, but we're also starting to connect into the legs of the clitoris which run from the root of the clitoral shaft at the top here, and then they run down either side underneath the lips. So we're starting to bring a little bit of stimulation there. Bringing sensation to the outer lips, indirectly to the inner lips as well. Just bringing in that little gentle squeeze. So working directly onto the vestibular bulbs now, these little sponges of erectile tissue that come down in this sort of pear-shape underneath the outer lips. We're going to do these little thumb circles, so we're starting to massage into the vestibular bulbs and then the pelvic floor muscles underneath. So it's these gentle circles. I like to go clockwise but you can try anticlockwise as well if you prefer. So just rolling the thumb in and through in these little circular motions. You can see that my fingertips are resting gently but they're also bringing a little bit of connection and contact onto the front of the pelvis there, But the main focus here is what your thumbs are doing around the vestibular bulbs. And with this touch with bringing blood flow to the area, so we helping the the whole of the pelvic floor and the vulva to relax and also for the erectile tissue here to engorge, to start to inflate and puff up. You can see that my thumb is coming in a little bit of an angle here so rather than flat in, I'm sliding in and around. And as always check in with your partner: how is the pressure? Would they like more or less? Maybe a very light touch feels good. Perhaps they prefer a firmer touch. So working with the vestibular bulbs, and the the outer lips we can also use this sort of 'doorbell' touch, so bringing a little bit of pressure in... and then releasing. And I'm holding the thumbs down at the base of the outer lips, my fingers are resting very gently on the front of the pelvis. And then it's that little bit of pressure in, and release. Little bit of pressure in... and release. It can be a very long, slow doorbell... or maybe more of an insistent, ringing on the doorbell...so a little bit more speed. So now we're going to start exploring touch through the outer labia, and the inner labia: the inner and outer lips. The first touch that we're going to bring is a kind of squeezing and rolling between the thumb and forefinger. So I'm gonna take this beautiful outer lip and I'm sort of squeezing.. and pulling out towards me. And there's a little bit of pressure between my thumb and forefinger. So with this we're starting to come into connection with the inside of the outer lip. Which is a little bit more kind of delicate skin. But by giving this squeeze and a little bit of pull we're softening, we're relaxing the skin, the tissue, the muscles of the labia more, so bringing blood flow and sensation there. So working again with the outer lips we're now going to roll our touch from the base to the top of the pelvis, and starting with the thumbs down near the near the buttocks and then I'm still rolling my fingers. And rolling up and through. This can feel like a little bit of a strange sensation so, as always, just check in with your partner: see what they like, see what they enjoy or don't enjoy. So now I'm going to take an L-shape with my hands, this 'L' between my finger and thumb. I'm coming into the creases of the thigh and then I'm rolling up... and over the lips, out onto the hip bones and back down. You'll see as I come up and through it's the middle of my thumb really that's got the pressure through those outer lips. And again play with pressure here, maybe your partner. enjoys a very light touch, maybe a firmer, deeper pressure with the thumb feels good. So taking a diamond shape with the hands now, the thumbs touching and the index fingers touching. And I'm letting that rest onto the outer lips, flowing up over the outer lips. And onto the belly. By putting pressure through the outer lips we're starting to let the inner lips move out and forward. You can extend this by bringing the touch all the way in from the inner thighs. Sweeping up through the thighs, coming into that diamond shape, and then continuing up through the body. Letting the touch come down over the hips, to the thighs, and then beginning again. So we're going to bring touch now to the inner lips. The skin of the inner lips is very delicate. It's quite a thin membrane of cells. So please use plenty of oil or lubrication: silicone based lube is good here because it won't dry out as a water based lube would. So when were touching onto the inner lips, we're going very gently we're not using hard or firm pressure. We're really doing a very soft touch. So to start with we're going to roll the thumbs out and over the inner lips with this sort of rolling motion. So I'm gonna let one hand come under the thigh, or it can rest at the base of the pelvis there, and then the other one is coming on top of the pelvis to rest and I'm letting my thumbs roll in to those very delicate little inner lips. This can start to connect onto the clitoris as well, my top thumb maybe rolling over the clitoris a little bit. The nerve endings that stimulate the clitoris also run down into those inner lips. So I'm working on my partner's right side here and I would also then switch and work with the other side - it's a little bit hard for the camera to see this angle, but you would work with the hands touching through the left side of the body also. The other way that we can connect with these inner lips is to take both hands resting with the fingers tucked in at the base of the pelvis and then alternating sides instead of just working on one at a time. So we roll those thumbs out and over the very delicate inner lips. So working across the inner lips and outer lips now we're going to make a figure of eight with our thumb. I'm starting at the base near the entrance to the vagina. I'm coming up, crossing in the middle. Up and round the clitoris, crossing in the middle and back down. I'm making this figure eight. You can make it bigger and take in more of the outer lips. Or you can make it smaller and more focused on the inner lips. This one's really nice because it does start to bring a lot more sensation to the clitoral shaft as well as spreading the sensation around the labia. Your left hand can rest or move on the thigh. Maybe rest up on the front of the pelvis. But staying with that figure of eight, doesn't need to be rushed or hurried, it can be this very slow, flowing, continuous motion. So we're now going to start bringing touch and stimulation to the clitoris, and we're gonna start this not by going directly onto the head of the clitoris which has 8000 nerve endings in that tiny, tiny little space in your body. So it's obviously a very sensitive area. We're going to start by working through the shaft of the clitoris, which runs from deep in the pubic bone here to the head, which is the little nub that everyone tends to try and find and seek out. So the first thing we're going to do is take this sort of 'crook shape' with the first finger and middle finger. And then I'm letting the knuckles come to rest on to the pubic bone and my fingers are going to slide down along the shaft of the clitoris into the the valley, the space between the inner and outer lips. And then I'm following with the other hand. So the shaft of the clitoris is kind of being squeezed between my fingers there. I'm giving a little bit of pressure through my knuckles. That helps to stimulate the legs of the clitoris as we move down from the pubic bone. And then I'm also squeezing between my fingers so I'm giving the shaft of the clitoris a little squeeze and almost sort of pulling away from my partner's body towards me, so down and out. This can feel like a really nice way to stimulate the clitoris. It doesn't have that kind of super, hyper-sensitive sort of sensation that you can get when you're touching right onto the the head of the clitoris. It starts to stimulate more the root and bringing in the legs as well. So now we're rolling through the clitoris. Initially we're taking a thumb and we're rolling across the shaft. So you can find the sort of pubic bone which will be a hard point at the top of pelvis here and then slide your thumb down. And then you just rolling the thumb back and forth across. Go very slowly, not too much pressure here. And then taking both thumbs. Making sure you have plenty of oil or lube to reduce the friction and that super sensitive experience. We're then going to roll the thumbs up and over, coming onto the the very head of the clitoris So you're lifting the hood, rolling the hood of the clitoris back, and starting to roll and touch over the head of the clitoris. And my pressure here is very light: you don't need to push or touch particularly hard. In fact often, the lighter pressure is more sensation-full, more stimulating, and you can keep going for longer. Encouraging your partner to let their body relax. Let their hips relax, their belly relax, to breathe nice and deeply and fully. And you can just stay here for quite a long time, encouraging your partner to really breathe and relax into that clitoral stimulation. So working directly onto the clitoris now, but we're going to do this in a in a really focused and precise way. So, following on from that rolling thumbs, pushing back the hood of the clitoris to expose the head here. We're going to hold that thumb at the top, so pulling the hood back, and then with my other thumb I'm coming into this connection with where one o'clock would be on the clock face. So on this teeny tiny beautiful little clock face here. I'm finding where 1 o'clock would be and I'm putting my attention and my thumb into that spot. And doing these very small, tiny little minuscule movements. It's very light, I'm barely touching. Again, please use plenty of oil, plenty of lube on your thumb. And it's this very focused little point of touch. This may feel quite intense for your partner, so I ask them to guide you. Get them to breathe nice and deep, nice and full. And you can stay here with this very focused mindful touch. You can alternate this between the rolling thumbs sweeping up over more of the head of clitoris, and then coming back to that focused movement, gentle touch on that 1 o'clock spot. So we're now going to start looking at how we can enter and do internal touch with presence, with attention, with care. The first thing that you'll notice is I now have gloves on. It can be really considerate with your partner to wear gloves. The texture is smooth, reduces friction, means that the oil and lubrication on your hands doesn't get absorbed into your skin so quickly, so the lubrication remains there for longer. Also if you have long nails and this is a nice way to sort of protect the delicate inner walls of the vagina from your nails. So you can either trim your nails, or you can invest in some gloves. I use latex free gloves so that it's ok for me to use oil as a lubrication. Please do bear in mind that if you use latex based gloves it's not a great idea to use oil: the oil will corrupt and disintegrate the latex in the glove. So just bear that in mind, if you're using latex gloves maybe use a silicone or water-based lube at this point. So when we enter the vagina we allow our partner's body to draw our finger in. We're not pushing or hurrying into her body. We let her body guide us in. The way that I like to do that is to hold in the entrance. I'm gonna take one finger, I like to use my middle finger simply because it's the longest and I then can reach further for internal touch. I'm going to let that finger rest right here at the entrance to her yoni. And I'm not pushing in here. I'm meeting her I'm holding my finger nice and still. My other hand can rest over her womb, on the front of her pelvis. It can come on to a hip, holding on the thigh... And I'm just meeting the entrance to her vagina here, this little vestibule space. And I'm holding there. For a lot of people just this experience of being met and holding can feel very tantalising, can feel like the anticipation sort of builds in their body. You might encourage your partner to let their hips move if they want to, if that feels nice. It's a little bit of a teasing almost. Also it can be very healing, very safe, very nourishing to know that they will not be entered until they're ready, so there's a a great deal of trust that you can build for your partner just by holding here at the entrance. So holding at the entrance you're then going to allow your partner's body to draw your finger in. Sometimes I say to my partner 'Just breathe my finger into you'. That can help to bring their attention into their genitals, that feeling of expanding the pelvis, expanding the opening to the vagina with the breath. And what you might feel under your finger is that you just get sort of drawn in, almost sucked into their body. When that starts to happen rather than pushing in and up, think about giving a little bit of pressure downwards, so you push down very gently towards their tailbone. And then you just hold. By resting here, with a little bit of gentle pressure down towards the tailbone, we're helping the muscle band around the entrance to the vagina to relax. We're also connecting onto a little piece of erectile tissue that lies at the base of the vagina called the perineal sponge. We just rest and hold at the entrance. My finger is maybe up to the first little knuckle inside. Your other hand can caress the body here. You're holding still with the hand that's penetrating. But bringing that connection, that reassurance through to the rest of the body. So as well as bringing some pressure lightly down towards the tailbone we're gonna take four directions. With my finger still facing down, the palm of my hand facing down, I'm going to just lightly move the edge of my finger towards her right hip. So there's this little bit of pressure out towards the side. So to see what I'm doing internally, I'll show with this finger... I'm just pushing lightly away from the centre line and holding. Again, the purpose of this is to allow that band of muscle that forms the entrance to the vagina, to relax, to soften. So we hold with this light pressure we don't force or push in really hard. We're just holding with presence. Bringing that slight stretch to the entrance of the vagina. Again, bring connection, bring touch, bring contact to your partner's body with the other hand. And then doing exactly the same thing but towards her left hip, so again you can see with my hand on the outside of her body here. I just move slightly away from the mid line, and apply that gentle pressure with the edge of my finger to the opening of her vagina. And then come back to the middle point and I'm going to lift very slightly Allow that finger to lift up towards her pubic bone. For some people this will feel a little uncomfortable on the urethra which is the opening to the urethral channel from the bladder. So just check in with your partner, you may need to just reduce the amount of lift that you put there on your finger. And then finally we come back to that grounding point, just that gentle pressure down towards the tailbone. So working now with something that I call the 'crescent moon'. Taking the thumb to enter the vagina. Again, we're not going particularly deep here, working with that band of muscle at the entrance to the vagina. So you really only come up to about the first knuckle here and I'm going to take the thumb and place that in and down. And then I'm bringing my hand, the heel of my hand, up on to the clitoris using that massaging, circling technique that we looked at earlier With my thumb here I'm doing a sort of a crescent moon shaped slide. So I'm sliding through the base of the entrance to her yoni and a little bit up into the side walls. As I'm doing that I'm also bringing a little bit of connection and massage on to the clitoris with the heel of the hand. As you start to stimulate the clitoris here, and the entrance to the vagina, you might find that your partner's arousal levels build. You can encourage them to move their hips, to breathe nice and deep. And you just keep that massage with the heel of the hand and the thumb going. So, closing genital massage we want to be really present to how we leave, particularly when we've been working with internal touch. So, rather than just pulling away and pulling out, we're going to do this with presence, with attention. My finger is inside her vagina right now, my palm is facing down. I'm going to let my other hand rest over the front of her pelvis and her her womb. And I'm going to take my finger out really, really slowly. I'm going to invite her to just follow my finger as it leaves so she can really notice every little millimetre that I'm passing. That finger is coming out very slowly. When my fingertip reaches the entrance I don't stop there. I sort of allow my finger to keep going beyond her physical body, so I come a little bit away. And then I'm going to hold that cupped hand over the outside of her vulva, just allow her time to ground, to settle. So, I'm not just abandoning and rushing away. And you can hold here, connecting with the breath again. And just bring this very present close to your massage. So, it's really nice to begin genital massage just with holding and stillness. So I'm going to take my left hand and just place that gently on the perineum and then the other hand is going to rest over the whole of the shaft, lightly over the balls as well, over the testicles. And it's the palm of my hand making contact. Nice firm pressure there don't be too timid or light. And then you're resting, connecting with your partner and maybe following their breath, allowing their body to start relaxing into the massage. So keeping the hand in this resting, holding position underneath the balls on the perineum, we're going to take just a little side to side movement. So it's very gentle nothing heavy here, but you're starting to kind of rock the pelvis and the hips, and you'll see that travels up through the body a little bit as they relax. So just this gentle jiggle from side to side. So also in this holding position we can do little pulses, so there's a little bit of a push through the heel of the hand. Try and make it come from your elbow so that your whole body is kind of moving into it as well. And you can time this with his breath. As he inhales I'll do a little bit of pressure inwards, As he exhales I'll just let my hand take the pressure off. So there's a bit of relaxation. So a little push and pulse with the inhale and relax with the exhale. And this is really nice to start softening and relaxing through the the muscles of the pelvic floor in the base of the the pelvis here, but also we're starting to stimulate the root of the cock, the part of the shaft that's hidden inside the body. You also sometimes, for some guys, this can stimulate the prostate a little bit as well externally. So you're really kind of getting a multi hit on sensation there. So now I'm going to make a fist shape with my hand and the front of my, the front of my knuckles here, are going into contact with the perineum. I'm holding the knuckles, the fist, on the perineum and then I'm going to do these little rotations. You can hold the balls, the testicles, up if you need to with the other hand. I'm just rotating... and massaging all those small muscles of the pelvic floor. Again this can also stimulate the prostate externally for some guys. You can do a really firm pressure here, we can also do a lighter pressure. So now I'm placing oil onto the backs of my hands. So we can use obviously the palm and fingers for touch, but the back of the hand also makes a really nice texture. So I'm going to take the part of my wrist here and that's going to be the first point of contact And then I'm going to slide really slowly. The back of my hand up through the perineum. And then follow it with the other one. You might find that gets a nice response in his body. It can feel quite releasing to some of the muscles. And it's this really slow, smooth flow with your hands. So now I'm going to make a v-shape with both my hands. And this little V is coming in over the perineum and under the balls. The fingers are just gonna lightly start to caress onto the front of the pelvis and belly. And I'm following again with the other hand. And you can come up over the balls if that feels nice for your partner, but otherwise keep that v-shape and go under and round them. With this one you're also starting to soften and connect with the muscles and skin through the inner thighs which can be really nice and sensitive. So now I'm taking a kind of L-shape with my hands and thinking of this 'L' between my index finger and thumb. And my fingers are sliding into the inner thighs a little bit and then my thumbs are just rolling over the perineum. You'll see that my fingers are sort of massaging a little bit into the front of his pelvis, his lower belly here as well. But the main focus is on the thumbs and rolling those over the perineum. Now we're gonna work with some really gentle trigger points or pressure points. We're going to be focusing through the perineum and the inner thighs, So this lovely little channel, crease here where the thigh meets the pelvis, and also a little bit up onto the pubic bone, front of the pelvis here as well. These pressure points are really light, no more pressure than you would put maybe on your eyeball. You bring the thumbs in and you're just holding: there's nothing you have to do particularly. Just resting, allowing the thighs to relax. My thumb is coming into this crease I do one maybe at the base, and then one a little bit higher up. You'll feel the tendons and the muscles of the inner thigh. And then we come on to the top of pelvis here on the pubic bone. Be really gentle there's a lot of lymph nodes that rest through the front of the groin here so check in with your partner, start really, really gentle pressure, ask them if they would like more pressure, less pressure. These points are just to bring awareness to the pelvis, to let the tissues and the deeper layers of tension release and relax. So we're now going to make a diamond shape with the hands and we're taking our touch and our stroke further up into the body. So this little diamond shape comes in underneath the balls, and the thumbs are resting on the perineum, and then the fingertips of the index finger here are resting on to the front of the pelvis and the belly. And from here you slide the thumbs up under, you can see my fingers are staying together in that diamond shape. And then the hands travel up over the belly all the way up to the heart, and the nipples, and their chest if that's nice as well. So this sliding diamond shape Then again you can play with pressure here maybe go between firm pressure, and lighter pressure. Just making sure those fingers and nice and soft and relaxed. So now we're gonna bring a stroke from the inner thighs, all the way up on to the perineum, and then out and over the hips. Again play with pressure here: light - firm. It's nice to move nice and slowly but a faster sweep can also feel good. From here you can also flow more into the diamond shape up through the body as well. So with genital massage we don't just work on the genitals, we're also bringing some touch and connection and relaxation to the whole of pelvis as well. With this touch you're going to make fists with both your hands and then bring those fists to the outsides of the hips here. There's a little hip flexor muscle called the TFL which can feel really, really tender but good if you take the knuckles and you do these little circles into the hips. With this one it's really important to check in with your partner about how firm they like the touch because it can feel a bit bruised. So with this touch we're going to start bringing connection to the front of the belly, so we're gonna let our hands slide down through this central channel starting from the top of the belly and the base of the ribs here, and then sliding very gently down all the way and then over the genitals...followed by the other hand. This one you can do for quite some time it really helps to relax and soothe the whole of the belly, and the front of the pelvis here. You can play with the pressure of your touch: go between light and firm. Keeping this soft flowing touch going for a good 2 - 3 minutes at least. So I call this kind of touch the rainbow stroke. I'm going to imagine a rainbow from my partner's right hip to his left hip, and then I'm gonna let my hands caress down from the hip, over his genitals, over his cock. And I'm following that arch of the rainbow. You can see that my hands are moving quite slowly here. You can really take your time, there's no rush. It can feel nice with this very light fingertip touch... or with a firmer full hand touch. This can feel really deeply relaxing through the lower belly here. We're starting to encourage blood flow down into the shaft of the cock. So moving on from the rainbow stroke, we also have the 'end of the rainbow'. So with this one we're taking the touch from the right hip. I'm covering the cock and coming all the way to the end and onto the thigh here. So we go from the end of the rainbow to the other end. You can kind of cup or squeeze the shaft of the cock in your hand, or you can kind of squeeze the cock between your hand and your partner's thigh so your hand is more flat. This is a really nice stretch through the front of the pelvis here, the ligaments - the suspensory ligaments - that basically hold the shaft of the cock into the body. So we're working nice and gently, remember those lymph nodes through here, so no firm pressure, no hard pressure. And then you can switch on to the other side as well, so coming from his left hip all the way down and onto the thigh. So in this touch we're connecting with the front of the pelvis here, the mons pubis, also the known as the pubic symphysis, and we're taking the heel of the hand and just resting that there. My other hand is holding the shaft of his cock upright, just out of the way a little bit. This is very gentle pressure through the heel of the hand. Just check in with your partner, it might be ok to sort of bring the shaft of the cock down towards the floor a little bit, it can feel like a nice stretch. And then you can also just gently rotate the heel of that hand, massage through the very base of the abdominal muscles where they connect into the pubic bone. If you imagine now a speedometer over the front of your partner's pelvis, we're going to bring some stretch and openness to the muscles and tendons and ligaments in the front of the pelvis here. So starting at 0 miles an hour, pulling the cock giving a nice little stretch, just stretch and hold. Move the cock to 10 miles an hour stretching and hold. Up to 20, so you're just increasing that angle each time, stretch and hold. All the way round to 100 miles an hour. So in our genital massage we can also include some play with the pubic hair This can be just a really light little tug, a little pinch and pull, or if the pubic hair is longer you can coil it round your fingers and and give a little bit of a stretch and pull. For some people this feels really like a really yummy little sensation, and for some people it doesn't feel so good, so as always just check in with your partner on what they enjoy. So, I'm now going to start working with touch through the shaft of the cock and the first one I call cock shiatsu. I'm going to take a ring shape with either my thumb and index finger or thumb and middle finger whichever feels most comfortable for you and I'm taking that right to the base of the shaft, so where that connects to the pelvis and I'm basically making a tight ring and I'm giving a nice firm squeeze here. You can do this one hand or you can bring in the second hand and you don't have to be timid here. You can give probably a firmer squeeze than you think you can, check with your partner though. Can I go a bit firmer? I got a yes, so I'm going to go bit firmer. A nice firm squeeze around the shaft of the cock there. And then I move those little rings up to the middle and I give another firm squeeze. I release and then I move up again, a nice firm squeeze... and release. And this you can just go back and forth with it, so start again at the base... nice firm squeeze... And what we're starting to do here is encourage blood flow into the erectile tissue of the shaft of the cock. So there's two little sponges of erectile tissue on the top side of the shaft and then one piece of erectile tissue, a little sponge on the underneath of the cock. Giving that nice squeeze... moving up... I'm also giving a lift upwards as I squeeze. So now we're going to start moving our touch through the length of the shaft, so I'm taking these little 'crook shaped' fingers with my index and middle finger. This kind of crook shape here, and one finger goes either side of the cock, the shaft, and then I slide all the way down. And you can give a little bit of a pull here as well. As always check with your partner what feels comfortable. Start with a gentle pressure and you can increase it. I'm also squeezing between my fingers a little bit so there's pressure onto the shaft between my fingers. You can change the angle of the shaft and maybe you wanna pull upwards a little bit more, or away from his body, so moving the tip of his cock away from his head. And as with all these strokes and touches move slow. There's no rush: the slower that you move the more sensation can be felt in the cock. So, working again with the moving touch through the shaft of the cock we're taking a slide and twist now. So this touch comes mainly from the palm of the hand and the space between the thumb and forefinger here. There's a couple of ways you can do this: you can have the blade of your hand, the little finger, closest to the body so moving up this way. Or you can invert your hand and have the thumb and fore finger closest to the body, which might feel a bit more awkward, so just practice and play with both of them and see what works for you. And then your sliding and twisting the hand along the shaft of the cock There's a little twist and you follow with the other one. Sliding down and twisting the hand, and again play with the angle, so you can come up... or you can come out. And play with the pressure as well... maybe less of a squeeze between the thumb and forefinger, and then bringing a firmer grip as well. So with this touch you're gonna give your partner a 'whoosh'! You're gonna move the hands slowly up through the inner thighs, on to the cock, your hands come into a prayer shape and then slide back down. Sliding from the inner thighs up onto the cock into a prayer shape, and back down. As I'm coming back down my index fingers just caressing over the tip of the cock and the frenulum. With this one you can move a little bit faster, it's nice to kind of build arousal levels or build momentum and energy in the body. So you'll see that I move a little bit faster here. Please remember to use lots of oil or lube for this one: the tip of the penis and the frenulum can be quite sensitive so it's nice if it's got that lubrication and oil just to prevent any friction. With this touch I'm moving my hand up the length of the shaft and back down again. I'm keeping one hand kind of locked around the the root of the cock, creating a little dam or barrier there, so there's a little bit of pressure through that ring shape with my fingers. And then I invert my hand so I take my thumb and forefinger closest to the body, I slide through the cock, back down, and then I switch hands. Up through the Cock and back down. Keeping that lock at the base, up through the cock, back down. This can feel quite sensitive around the glans and the tip of the cock So please use plenty of oil or lube on your hands. And check in with your partner. Would they like more pressure, less pressure? Does it feel good if you move a little bit slower? So now we're working with the underside of the shaft and we're sliding a flat hand from the tip, down to the base, and over the balls. Following with the other hand, this flowing conveyor belt of continuous smooth touch. With this one you can play with the speed, so maybe you wanna take some faster strokes Or some super slow ones. So the palm of my hand travels down over the tip, middle finger connects with the frenulum. And the palm of my hands softly drops down over the testicles. So now we're going to take both hands and squeeze through the length of the shaft. You can do this in time with your partner's breath, so as he inhales I'm going to give a nice firm squeeze. As he exiles, I release So inhaling and squeeze. Exhaling release. You can squeeze with the full hand at once, or you can do more of a ripple squeeze, so you bring the tension up through the fingers gradually. So that creates a sort of upward movement as well as the squeeze. And again, this is a nice way to encourage blood flow into the erectile tissue of the shaft of the cock. So we're going to massage through the erectile tissue of the shaft of the cock with the thumbs. Interlocking your fingers and placing them underneath the cock. And then bringing the thumbs right to the root here on the pubic bone And then it's these little circular motions with the thumbs. Cupping the shaft of the cock in your hands, massaging through the length of the shaft. When you reach the tip head back to the base and start again. This touch can be really helpful in re-sensitising the shaft of the cock, so bringing more sensation not just to the tip of the penis, but to the the whole shaft as well. It's always nice to remember when you're giving genital massage that it's not just about the genitals, so with this stroke we're remembering to bring in the body as well. I'll let my hand reach all the way up to the heart, the chest, and then slide all the way down over the underside of the cock. If your partner has sensitive nipples, it's really nice to let the hands caress over the nipples as well here. So starting with touch around the glans, which is the tip or head of the penis. This area can be really sensitive so whatever you're doing in terms of touch here, just check in with your partner. Maybe you need to slow down a little bit or make the touch really gentle. Taking the fingers in this kind of relaxed hold. Just stroking up and over. So the thumb comes up over the frenulum. The fingers move over the head of the glans here. You can do more of a tickling sort of motion of the fingers. But it's very light touch. You can also take the fingers in a little twist around, so starting from the frenulum and moving all the way around and back. And you can spend quite a long time here. You don't need to change your speed or do anything particularly complicated. I'm just letting the fingers gently tickle over the glans, the tip of the penis. Taking a nice firm grip at the base of the cock. You're then gonna make a little bottle opening motion with the index and middle finger, and you're just popping the top of the bottle. This one brings a lot of sensation to the corona: the underside of the top of the penis and also under the frenulum here, that's the skin that holds the foreskin on to the the glans. It's a good idea to use quite a lot of oil or lube here. This part of the penis can be quite sensitive. And go gently to begin with. It can feel like a bit of a strange sensation for your partner. Keeping that nice firm grip on the base of the shaft you're going to enclose the whole of the top of his penis, so the tip of the cock into the palm of your hand, and then you're making this kind of squeezing, squelching kind of motion. The hand moves down a little bit and up a little bit, and my fingers are rubbing on to the frenulum underneath. This one can feel really intense so go slowly, check in with your partner. We can increase the speed, makes that nice squelching noise. And then slow down again as well. So holding at the root, the base of the cock again. Taking the palm of your other hand and making nice little circles on to the tip. I'm not using a lot of pressure here. It's quite light. You can do this with the cock up right with that other hand holding at the base Or you can let the cock lie down and you keep those little circles going on the frenulum and the underneath of the cock there. What's nice about this one with the cock lying down is that your fingers do come into contact with the belly a little bit as well, which can help spread the sensation out from the cock. And keeping those circular motions then, bring the cock between the palms of the hands, and it's as if you're washing your hands. Just circling the hands back and forth around tip of the cock. This touch is a really beautiful one that you can do for quite a long time. You could just stay with it for 5, 10, 15 minutes even, not needing to go anywhere else, do anything else. It's called 1000 yonis and you're taking the hands down from the tip, all the way down to the root, one after the other. Allowing your partner to imagine that there's 1000 yonis just sliding down over his cock. Use a lot of oil or lube here. A nice way to keep the lube, the oil, topped up is if you hold the cock right at the tip like this, you bring a little jug or bottle of oil or lube, then you can just pour that directly onto the top of the cock and then let it slide down with your hand. And just keeping this flow, this constant movement of the hands down from the tip to the base. So for this stroke, you're bringing the palms of the hands together and we're making this little envelope space for your partner's cock to slide in and out of. So moving from the tip to the body just encasing, enclosing, holding the tip of the cock between the hands there. Sliding down, fingers come onto the front of the belly and then you slide back up again. It's like your hands and swallowing his cock. I only go as far down as the base of the cock, I don't really include the balls. Again, make sure that you use quite a lot of oil or lube with this one to reduce the friction and allow you to keep going with the stroke for quite some time. So, this is a really focused touch for the frenulum which is the part of the cock which holds the foreskin onto the tip. And even if guys have been circumcised you can still work with that space, so it's the underside of the cock, and it's just this little v-shape at the the top of the glans here. So you take the hands into this sort of book reading position and place them underneath the cock you can let the hands rest on front of the pelvis and belly as well. You create a bit of tension on the shaft of the cock with your hands and heels of the hands and then the thumbs are going to just gently roll over and round the frenulum. And this stroke is really simple, but it's a beautiful one to do as a kind of meditation that you just stay very present with it. You don't change your speed or pressure. You just allow your partner to release, to sink into the sensation. So a slightly edgy, more dangerous type of touch for the cock here... We're going to use a little bit of slapping. So take your dominant hand and make a nice firm grip at the base of the shaft and then you're basically just moving the head of the penis into the palm of your left hand. Go gently to begin with see how your partner reacts and then you can increase the pressure if they like it. So it's a gentle slap into the palm of your hand. Nice to mix it up with a little bit of stroking. And then come back to the slap. That sharp sensation can feel really intense but also it just brings a lot of blood flow to the tip of the penis, so can be a fun one to play with. So we're working now with, or touching onto, the balls - the scrotum the testicles. This can be quite a vulnerable area, quite tender and sometimes even painful, but if you go slow and you're gentle it can really help to relax and build trust your partner's body. So the first thing that we do is we just hold, we cup the balls with the hand, very gentle pressure. You can use one hand here gently lifting and cupping up. You can use two hands so you kinda slide in and hold the base here. And you can just gently hold here and not have to worry about doing anything else. It's just to let your partner's body relax and feel safe. From there... you take a little o-ring with the thumb and forefinger. And you're creating a kind of cock ring with your fingers. So my finger and thumb are touching underneath. I'm just holding there on the balls. Then I take the fingertips of my other hand and I do these gentle little circles, little scratches even with the nails, and also I can use the same position here but stroke with the palm of my hand. Again very gently not pushing in but just gently rolling and stroking around with the palm of the hand. When I let go from here, I do it very slowly. The skin of the scrotum is actually muscle so we want to give that a little bit of a massage the way we would do for any other muscle in the body. So I take my thumb down between the balls very gently. I find that space between the balls there, and I'm holding underneath with my middle finger as well. And I can stretch the skin of the scrotum down and then give it a little roll and rub between my thumbs and fingers underneath Then coming down between the testicles, little roll and rub between the thumbs. You can see my partner's body is quite relaxed here. When you're doing this, just go really slowly. Don't rush, no sudden movements. That's just the massaging of that muscle the scrotum. And then the final thing that we can do with the balls is a very, very gentle squeeze. So I've taken my fingertips underneath and lifting both balls just up slightly I'm bringing a little bit of pressure to my thumbs and fingers over the balls and this is really, really light here. Could I go a bit firmer? And again when I finish this particular touch. I move my hands away really slowly and gently. Congratulations, you've now reached the end of this course. I really hope that you've enjoyed it, explored and learnt more about your genitals, your body, touch and intimacy. Remember, it's important to spend a little time reflecting on your experience: in writing, by sharing with a partner, or just quietly with yourself. This helps to really embed new neural pathways that have been activated and gives you a space to create a connection between the experiential - what you felt - and the cognitive - how you process and understand it. This is a foundation of somatic learning and creating sustainable change in your habits and experiences. So now that you've explored this course there are a few things you can do to extend your learning and add to the experience. You can book a session with me in person. Whether you're in a couple or single, a physical session is an amazing way to deepen your experience and put all these wonderful new tools into practice. If you're not based in London or Stockholm you can book an online coaching course which, again, will allow us to focus on your individual experience and really get to the core of changing your relationship with arousal and pleasure. You can sign-up for a couples workshop... This is a great way to meet other like-minded people and learn in a group environment. Remember, if you haven't done so already, you can join the private Touch of Happiness Facebook community to share your journey and learn together with others. You'll find the links for all of these options below and for any enquiries you can email me directly on [email protected] I'd really love to hear from you and hear what you have thought of the course: you can email me your thoughts or even send a video testimonial and share your experience. For now, thank you, and continue practicing and exploring!

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