In January 2024, we surveyed 1,885 people about their sex lives and desire. We asked them 27 questions about everything from how they feel about their sex lives to how stress creeps up on them in the bedroom.
Key Takeaways
- We asked folks how happy they are with their sex lives, and just 40% rated it positively.
- Most people have sex at least once per month, and 42% have sex every week.
- There’s a significant lack of communication in the bedroom, with 95% saying they wish they or their partner would open up more.
- 1 in 4 couples struggle with mismatched libidos
- 66% of women rated their libido as low or very low — that’s twice as many as men.
- Stress is taking a toll on intimacy, with 61% of respondents saying it has had a direct effect in the bedroom.
60% Are Not Satisfied With Their Sex Lives
Almost 2 in 3 respondents said they were either “neutral,” “dissatisfied,” or “very dissatisfied” with their sex lives.
Beducated Students are Happier in Bed.
The majority of Beducated students said they were “Satisfied” or “Very Satisfied” with their sex lives. For those who weren’t subscribers, it was roughly one-third.
42% Say They Have Sex At Least Once Per Week.
When Does Sex Slow Down in Relationships?
Respondents in relationships were most likely to say they had sex at least once per week, no matter how long the relationship was. At the five-year mark, the number of respondents saying they had sex at least once per month increases.
In other words, most people in relationships tend to have sex once per week, and sex tends to slow down after five years.
Most People Wish They Had More Sex
When asked what they’d like to change about their sex lives, over half (57%) of respondents said they wanted to have sex more frequently.
All but One Person Said They’d Like to Improve Something in Their Sex Life.
The vast majority of respondents (95%) reported they wished that either their partner (48%) or they (47%) would open up more about their “wants, needs, and boundaries” in the bedroom.
40% Would Like to Feel More Confident in the Bedroom
47% Have a “High” or “Very High” Libido
Many Couples Struggle With Different Sex Drives
When asked how the quality of their sex lives had changed over time, 20% of respondents in long-term relationships said their desire for sex did not match that of their partner anymore.
The Longer the Relationship, the Likelier it is For Men to Say Their Partners Have a Lower Libido Than Theirs.
The Orgasm Gap Still Prevails
Stress is Killing the Vibe
“When I’m stressed, I don’t have the energy to be intimate with my partner.”
Anonymous survey participant.
The vast majority of female respondents (75%) and half of the male respondents said stress has had a direct impact on their sex lives. Men were more likely to say they were impacted by work-related stress, while women reported
higher levels of financial and family stress.
How Does Stress Affect Sex?
“Stress manifests itself in my body as fatigue, which can cause heightened irritability and have some side effects such as vaginal dryness.”
Anonymous
Some 700 survey-takers detailed how stress impacts their intimate lives in an open-ended question. We combed through the responses and grouped them into categories to identify overarching themes, as pictured below.
Respondents most commonly said stress manifested in the bedroom by causing fatigue. Many said dealing with daily stressors often left them too exhausted to be intimate.
Want More Orgasms? Hit the Gym!
Conclusion
If your sex life feels a bit “meh,” you’re not alone. Our dive into sexual satisfaction reveals a stark truth: Just 40% of us would rate our sex lives positively, leaving a significant 60% stuck in a rut.
The culprits? A silent epidemic of miscommunication in the bedroom, the all-too-common issue of mismatched desires, and the longing for more intimacy. Add to that the ultimate mood killer, stress, which seems to be hitting women harder. It’s clear: to boost our sexual happiness, it’s time to talk more, stress less, and perhaps most importantly, never stop learning about intimacy.
If you want to read more about what might be causing the widespread bedroom disconnect (and how to heal), check out Beducated’s article, The 7 Sins of a Dead Bedroom.
Demographics
