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Strap-On Play Online Course:
Enjoy the Power of Strap-on Penetration

With
Rain DeGrey
,
Kink Empowerment Coach
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About This Course

Ever considered spicing things up with strap-on play? Rain DeGrey's course delivers enlightening video-based lessons and live demonstrations to widen your erotic horizon.

What You Will Learn

  1. The many benefits of strap-on play
  2. How to find the right strap-on toy and lube 
  3. Essential tips on hygiene
  4. What strap-on play looks like in action

Take This Course and Hundreds More

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Taught by the world’s top experts.

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Quick results & easy-to-follow instructions.

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For everyone. Singles, couples, all genders and orientations.

Your Instructor

Rain DeGrey

Kink Empowerment Coach

Rain DeGrey is an international Kink and Sex Educator, whose passion is to demystify sexuality and tackle shame in a clear and humorous way. Her work focuses on kink, sexuality, BDSM, polyamory, and self-empowerment.

More by This Instructor

Lessons and Classes

Total length:
90-180 min
  1. 1. Course Overview and Introduction
  2. 2. Why Strap-On Play
  3. 3. The Stigmas of Strap-On Play
  4. 4. Sex Toy Pleasure and Safety
  5. 5. Lubrication In Strap-On Play
  6. 6. Anal Hygiene and Play
  7. 7. Demonstrating Sex with a Strap-On

Why Join Beducated?

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Master New Techniques

Develop skills to become a better giver and an active receiver.

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Reignite the Spark

Explore new ways to spice things up — with or without a partner.

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Enjoy Sex More

Build confidence and give in to new depths of pleasure.

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Transcripts

Hi everyone and welcome to Strapon Play. I know that you might be wondering how could we possibly talk about inserting a toy into a hole for two hours, but believe me, my friends, there is actually a lot to talk about on that subject. Before we get started, my name is Rain DeGrey. I am an author, an educator, an activist and a professional naked person. That does mean that if you Google me, you can find my butt hole on the internet. I have been teaching classes for the past decade, education is something that I'm really, really passionate about. I have an advice column that's bi-monthly Dirty Talk with Rain DeGrey, I have a podcast Dirty Talk with Rain DeGrey, and you might be sensing a theme, I have my email signup sheet, I have class feedback cards, and I have my business cards, ta-ta. If you have any questions, if you attend this class and something comes in your mind and you can't think of it during the class, I take anonymous questions. It could just be featured on a podcast or an upcoming advice column. So currently the classes that I am teaching are Kink 101, Coming Out Of The Kinky Closet, come to the dark side, we have cookies. Bedroom Bootcamp, which is a Whitman's Sampler of the classes that I teach, a class that I'm really passionate about. You might not be able to tell, but I'm actually a severe introvert. I have a class called An Introvert's Guide to Becoming Kinky. I teach Oral Sex 101, Learn How to Lick, male and female, a female dominance class, Give Up the Booty or Anal Play. I actually started the anal play class because this Strapon Play class is my original class I first started teaching a decade ago and so many people had butt questions, I realized that anal play is an entirely separate class. Take Five, the fine art of fisting, putting poly into practice, rough and primal play, and a secret hush class, don't tell Jay Wiseman breath play. Email me if you have any questions about that one. So the way my classes are set up, I'm gonna try and be as engaging as possible for the next two hours. That's a long time to hear me talk. And these aren't the most comfortable chairs. I am gonna do a break. A break allows you to stretch your feet, pee, ask any questions you might wanna ask anonymously if anything comes up. First off, and this is huge, congratulations for even having the courage to be in this room. That's significant. Here's the thing is that you're willing to put in the effort. The way that I look at it is that your body is the finest toy you will ever be given. And most people are afraid to play with that toy. And they live a life from the neck up, they work a job they don't like, they go home and watch bad TV, they eat some bad food, and they go to bed, and they wake up the next day and they do it all over again. And I refuse to live my life that way. Your body is so much fun and most people never have the courage to start that exploration. The fact that you braved traffic, got dressed, probably brushed your teeth, tried to look like a reasonable human being, and came here to a sex shop to listen to a porn star talk about strapon play for the next two hours is huge. It really is, it's a big deal. I am proud of you to have the courage. I spent a long time denying the fact that I was kinky or had proclivities that were not vanilla. And those were wasted times. The most valuable commodity you will ever be given is time, and how you choose to invest that time is crucial to what your life experience is like. And so many of us invest our time poorly. Your body is capable of amazing things. And the more comfortable you are with your body, the better life is, that's a fact. I spent a long time being uncomfortable with my body. I would walk down the street, I would think that people were judging me, I thought I had bird shit in my hair, or spinach in my teeth, and everyone hated my shoes. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret that's life-changing. Nobody is thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are. Everybody is walking around and they're way too busy thinking about themselves to ever pull their heads out of their ass to take the time to judge you. And when you realize that, you are free. What we do is we carry around these fucks, white-knuckled in our hands. We're carrying all these fucks, and you look and you're like, "Oh dude, I picked up all the fucks." And you have to open up your hand and you have to drop all the fucks. And those fucks are sneaky, they'll get back and you're, "I picked up the fucks again, oh gosh!" Again... And the more you work at dropping the fucks, the easier it gets. So for me, when I got into human sexuality and exploring my body, I was really curious, why strapon play? Why do I have such a desire, a deep innate desire to strapon a toy and put it in someone else's warm, wet holes. Well, first off it's awesome, there's that? But for me, I was born in a commune, and male order was very important because I spent my childhood meditating and eating tofu under a pine tree. And there was not a lot happening, there was, I had homeschooling, and I ordered a catalog of "erotic" graphic novels. They're smart, they're smart. And I might not be here in this class if I had checked a different box. But I just randomly checked a box because I liked the art and it was try three free, and if you like it keep buying. And I was not 18, and I just randomly ordered three. And I don't, forget the other two comics, fuck them, they don't matter. The one that I remember was a beautiful drawing, black and white, and this guy in this girl hookup, and at the end of it, she was like, "Do you wanna do this again tomorrow with my friend?" And the guy says, "Yes, yes, yes I do." Who wouldn't, that's a great offer. And the friend shows up the next day, and it's this beautiful blonde busty woman. And they go to have a threesome and the woman was a pre-op transsexual. And I was like, blink, that's what a woman could do with a dick? I sold, I, yes, please. That was formative for my sexuality at way under 18. I'm reading this and being like, I want to stick things in people's holes. And that's why I'm here today. So, I love figuring out how the human brain works, how our bodies work, what is the thing that's exciting for us? And that was what got me into strapon play. Side note, consider yourself warned, I'm gonna be talking about vaginal, anal, and oral strapon play because there's three, there's more than three holes, three usable holes. And then you get... (laughing) Would you stop right now young lady? Don't even, we're not going there. We had a talk during the break that is disturbing to. Three holes is what we're working with. - I never need Viagra. My Dick comes in any size, shape, and form that I possibly want. And even more than that, and people were like, okay, sure, Rain, I get it. But I am a heterosexual male dominant. Why would I ever need strap on play. Oh, I'm so glad you asked. Here's the thing. You can be in a relationship with a partner and the partner can say, I consent for you to interact with other people. You are not allowed to take your pants off and you are not allowed to interact with someone else sexually. Sure. Fact. Okay. As a heterosexual male dominant, you can use a strap-on. They actually have, oh, right here. What's this? This looks like, oh, it's a thigh harness. I can strap onto my thigh with a toy and having someone sit on my leg, tell me all about it. There there. I understand. I get it. You can do strap on harnesses, where you can put a strap on harness on your boot and have someone ride it. You have never taken your pants off. Do you know how dominant it is to have some naked writhing person coming their brains out on your foot and you're sitting there in your dominant male pants. Leather. Of course, they're leather. Just like that's right, ride it. There is power for not taking your Dick out of your pants. There is power for... A heterosexual man can put a strap on, on, over his pants and fuck someone's brains out. There's no fluid contact. You have all the, she is craving it and you're giving it to her. It is very safe way to interact with someone. I'm gonna be covering a lot of condoms and gloves, but strap-on play is a way to effectively make someone come their brains out in a lower risk situation. And here's the thing. This is a fact. We are entering an age where antibiotics are less effective. Does anyone have fleas that they can not get off their pets? Flea medicine's becoming less effective. STI rates are exploding. I, in my mind am a giant slut bucket. I have orgies. I go to glory holes. I am incredibly friendly with my holes. In my mind because I don't have the privilege of getting to do that in my day-to-day life. It has become too high risk. Strap-on play is a very effective way to minimize your risk and have amazing pleasure. Also, my Dick gets sad and cold and lonely, and it's happiest buried inside someone and it's friendly and would like to be in as many holes as possible. Because my Dick is a giver. So here's the thing, is, it is crucial. This is the core of all of my classes in one word. What's the one word. - Communication. - Ta da. All of the classes I teach, all of them. I'm gonna be talking about it for two hours. Communication is the core of what we do. Communication is the lube that prevents chafing. The more we communicate, the easier things are. I don't know how many of you are guilty of this. I personally do it. Not anymore 'cause I've gotten way better at communication, but back in the day. You're in your head and you're yelling, no, that's, it's, a little slower, and then quarter inch down and then an eighth of an inch to the left. And you never open up your mouth hole and say it. We are putting the burden of having our partner be a mind reader because we are afraid to communicate. That's doing everyone a disservice. I know that communication can be kind of scary. One of the handy hacks that I do, I like to do a top five list. So top five list is, here are top five things I'd like to try. I'm gonna write them down on a piece of paper. I'm going to have my person that I'm interacting with, write it down on a piece of paper. We're gonna exchange our top five list. And then you get to mark in an order between one and five, which of those is the most appealing, which is the least appealing. It's a really handy, effective communication hack that takes away some of the awkwardness of, I really have a fantasy of fisting you. Would you like to be my Muppet? Well, that's not hard for me, but that could be challenging for some people. Why strap-on play? Okay. I'll tell you why. Because it feels amazing. It feels amazing for both the giver and the receiver if you're in the right head space. I can orgasm from having my strap-on sucked. - True. - I, oh, I can orgasm from strap on fucking someone. True. - [Speaker 1] For men, this is a baggage that I definitely want to unpack. This is something I feel really strongly about. Men are locked in the mindset, not all men, hashtag not all men. That to be the receptive partner for anal play somehow makes you weak and less of a man, makes you maybe the gay. I have a question for you, who is on the other end of that strap-on? Are they male or female? If that is a woman on the end of the strap-on, how does that make you gay? And if, as a man you're so terrified of the concept of having something inside you because you think it makes you less of a man. What does that say about your view as women? What do you think of women? If you think it is so disgraceful and demeaning to be the receptive partner for penetrative sex? I rest my case. All fetuses are female, when they first start out in the womb. And it is the blush of testosterone that will convert the fetuses over to male. A man's prostate is essentially the same thing as a woman's G-spot. I used to Pro Dom and I specialized in strap-on play so that men that had always had the fantasy of doing it, and wanted to do it in a really safe manner could have that taken and not have to have that awkward talk with a partner. I'd really like for you to put something up my butt. - [Speaker 2] Okay - [Speaker 1] That was way easier than I thought it was going to be. I took a lot of cherries in my day. Someone has to do it and I'm willing to be that person. I have had men on the end of my dick crying, because it felt so good. And they were so astonished at how good it felt and the realization of how many years of pleasure they had cut themselves off of, because they were afraid to stick something up their butt. And that is a tragedy because like I told you, drop those fucks, nobody is judging you. We're way too wrapped up in being in our own heads to really bother getting around to judging other people. Some people are, you know, get worried like, oh, isn't it, couldn't it be a little messy? Have you seen yourself fucking? You look ridiculous, you are bright red, your face is squinched up, DNA's flying everywhere. You look like you're sucking on a lemon. Your own face is not flattering. And you know what? It doesn't matter. Those fucks, we dropped them. We dropped the fucks. My sex is very messy and undignified. And I don't give a fuck. We are comparing our sex life. Where do we see it? We don't really watch our friends fuck. Well, you're the germy exception. In general, we're seeing carefully filtered and curated photos, and edited lighting. We're seeing porn. We're seeing professional stunt people fuck from the most flattering angle with best lighting and editing. So all the awkward bits are edited out. - [Speaker 2] And makeup. - [Speaker 1] Makeup, so much makeup. And then that's what we see and then we go home and we look at ourselves and we're like, but I don't, but they, drop the fucks. Drop the fucks, I do porn and I don't look like that. I see it, I'm like, wow, that's amazing. I wish I look like that at home. And I don't, and you know what, it's okay, because we're all human. The less you give a fuck, the easier it is. I have been pooped on. I will be pooped on again, it happens. God invented soap and water for a reason. If you're going to be messing around with the butt, here's the thing, that's poops home. You're going where poop lives. You're knocking on the door and you're going inside poops home, you can't be surprised when poop's there. That's where it lives. You're the guest, you're visiting. Oh, poop, never again, really well then no anal for you. The less you give a fuck, the more fun there is to be had. And I long ago realized that there's not a lot of dignity with having a human body. We are leaking meat sacks, we're all oily and things keep leaking out of us. And you know what, when you stop caring, you can have (kissing sound) so much fun. Yes, indeed. I was actually doing a fisting class not too long ago. And I pulled out of her, And as I pulled out of her she squirted, but I was fisting with my left hand. And she squirted only on my one shoe. So I had a super shiny left shoe, but not a right shoe. And later in the day, I was going through Home Depot to get, I needed duct tape for reasons, don't ask. And I was walking through the aisles of Home Depot with one shiny shoe and one non-shiny shoe, And I'm like, I'm probably the only person in this store who has half a polished shoe from someone's squirting on him. But you know, someone has to do it. So some people get worried that doing anal strap-on play can lead to accidents. If you cannot deal with poop, you have no right to get near a butt. And I don't care. My sex life includes a lot of baby wipes. It includes a lot of rubber gloves. It includes a lot of black towels. Don't do white towels, just don't do white towels, and I'm going to be covering how to clean the butt. And that's, there's a whole skill set to that. My friends trust me. Normally this class does involve me actually showing how to do anal penetration on my demo bottom. However, this is the second class we've taught today. It was a two hour drive here and we've been teaching since 3:00 PM, so we will digestion. We will not actually be doing the anal demo portion, but I will be talking it over. The highlight that you all get to look forward to is while the back door is maybe not at the right state right now, maybe if you're a German, but we're not German. The top hole is superb and delightful and so talented, like a magician. And I will be sharing that with you later. You have to sit through the education to get to the fun bits. So, the second half of this class, I'm going to be having educational sex with two of her three holes. - [Speaker 2] It's going to be a magic trick, we're going to make things disappear. - [Speaker 1] Where did it go? It's in your, oh, that's where it went. That's, oh wait, we see, we see you, you put it in and then you take it out and then you put it back in again, take it out and then repeat as needed. Oh, it's magic. - We're gonna start off with some dildos here. Here's the thing with dildos, is I care strongly about sexuality and it is, for me, almost spiritual. There is a cathartic, blissed-out state. I don't know about any of you all, but for me, when I am properly fucked, I am on the floor, drooling, I can't get my eyes uncrossed, it looks like I'm having an epileptic seizure, and if there was a fire, I would die because I can't walk. (audience chuckles) That's proper fucking, and all of you, guaranteed, can get there, guaranteed. That's a door that you have to step through and you have to be willing to let go. And most people, I will be with people and I can lead them up to the door, and then they stop and they won't take that step over. And when you take that step over into bliss, there is no dignity and all awesomeness. I can see other universes. Properly fucked, I hallucinate visuals, dead sober. That's proper fucking. And I would like to share with you today, hopefully how you can... Oh, I love to watch her walk away. I want to share to you how you can get in that state. So, because I care so much about sexuality, I really started learning. And here's the thing with dildos, is, back in the day, anyone that were to use dildos were gross, dirty perverts. We don't care about gross, dirty perverts. Will you hold this? We don't care about gross, dirty perverts, because people that like sex and want to stick things in their holes, "Ew, gross. Pray to Jesus, he'll save you." So dildos used to be... And when I first started out, I didn't know any better, and I went to ye olde local sex store and I bought a janky harness and a cheap $20 dildo. (plastic thwacks) - [Audience Member] Ouch. - This is what people were putting in their holes. You can pound nails with this thing. They used to have phthalates in them, which are carcinogenic. So people were putting carcinogenic stuff inside their mucus membranes. When sex stores used to get dildos, it was called off-gassing, and they would literally have to take a box of dildos and open them up outside, because the chemical smell that was coming off of these toys that were supposed to be put in your most intimate of regions was so toxic, your eyes would water. And people started realizing, "Hey, maybe we need to be... Even if they are just the dirty sex perverts who want to have a bunch of orgasms, how weird is that? Well, they shouldn't be sticking carcinogenic things up their holes." You get what you pay for. This is a small part of my dildo collection. I own over $2,000 worth of dick. When I go to wash my dick, it is a rainforest of cock and my bathtub looks like a sex porcupine. Once you start collecting, you can't stop. It's like baseball cards, but dick instead. You do not want a $20 dick, you want $120 dick. Why do we want a $120 dick? This is a VixSkin Cyberskin, available downstairs, and it runs 120 to $150, and once I realized what high-quality cock was, I never went back. This is got squishy. This is horrible. Before I knew any better, I would fuck people and I would put hard, rigid, uncomfortable plastic in their holes, and they would try and have an orgasm. And it was bad news bears for everyone. I am super happy to upgrade. The thing about starting to explore your sexuality is, when I first showed up, it's just me, ta-da, let's do it, and now my sexuality requires two suitcases minimum. The more you explore it, the more things you need. There are worse hobbies to have. I love my hobby. It's ever so much fun. I want to share it with all of you in the name of education. So what I like to do, I've had toys in my holes and I have had real flesh in my holes. Fact, real flesh feels better, fact. Fact, there's no way around it. So what can I do to get the toy that I'm putting in someone as close as possible to flesh? I take my Vix Cyberskin dildos and I will actually put them in a sink and run hot water and warm them up to body temperature. And when you have something like this that's warmed up to a hundred degrees and you're putting it inside someone's holes, versus if you're trying to fuck them with a $20 sex toy, you're gonna be able to tell the difference. And your job, as a top, is to dazzle. That's your job. You want to be so good and awesome, they come back for more. Because if I'm not impressing you, you're not gonna come back for more. I'm amazing over here, and you're like, "Meh." I have high quality dick that I have warmed up for you with the lube that you like. This is about making you come your brains out. Oh, they want to come back for more, a-ha. So I have people that say to me, "Well, gee, Rain, you know, I can't do anal. I can't, I can't do anal, I just can't." I have a question for you. Have you died of constipation? No? Then you can do anal. What it is is a mental thing. And when we're nervous and scared, our body tightens. Tight is not the energy you want to be to receive something. Receiving anal penetration is 100& a mental thing. You have to relax. If you can't relax, it's not gonna happen. I first started out with larger sizes and I was just having trouble getting them in. People were just like, "Ah, I can't." If you want to start out with just something like this, this is a Bend Over Beginner Kit, like so, and you should be able to take this. And if you're at a state where you're panicked and nervous and you're fearful and you can't take this, then anal play is not for you, and take it off the table. An important point that I want to cover in terms of dildos is all of these dildos actually come in their own plastic bags, which I have stashed under this table. The point of plastic bags is this. These are fairly expensive collection of cock, and when you first start out with your cock, where do you think you're gonna keep? You tend to keep all of your sex toys in one place, right? And if you're not thinking about it and you're being casual, you might use the dildos, clean them, you'd better be cleaning them, and then you put them all together. No. I have maybe not done some play for a while 'cause the opportunity hasn't arisen and I've come back and when you stack your dildos on top of each other, they can melt. I have some twisted, sad, blotchy, Picasso frankencocks happening. I once did a ride to Las Vegas with a suitcase in a... It was a Nissan, Z, right? That little tiny sports car, (mumbles), right. And the heat of it with my dildos that I had been careless and not had individually wrapped, actually caused all my dick to melt. And I got to Las Vegas, and what happens in Vegas is nothing because my dick melted and I took it out and it was just like (gurgles) sad and moop. So you keep your dildos separated. One of the things that can happen is that sexy time is fun and cleaning and organizing and sorting and putting things together, that's not fun. So we have the fun and then we jam all of our toys back in the bag, and we're like, "I will deal with you later because I want to enjoy this endorphin bliss." And then you don't want to do it the next day and you leave it be, "I'll get to it." And you open up the bag a couple of weeks later, and mold colonies have sprouted. They are organizing for the right to vote. I mean, there's a lot happening in that suitcase. You clean your toys. In addition to cleaning my toys, all of my toys travel in their own bags. Now the higher quality your dick is, the lintier it's gonna get. And this store actually carries, you can get them anywhere, this is a lint... What is this? What? It is a lint-free dick bag. Oh, my dick's too big. Oh, that does happen. (audience chuckles) Okay. This is a lint-free dick bag. So I have cleaned it, and now I have safe storage and traveling for my dildo. It's not going to... If you have cats or dogs and expensive dick, people will know because the dick attracts hair like you would not believe. "Yes, I own a cat, I know you can tell. My bad." I do use condoms on everything, but the higher quality material of the dildos does attract hair, so I put bags on everything. I actually have a really handy trick I like to do. I've cleaned my dick. I have so many dicks, "Where are my? I don't know, is this clean?" What I do is I take a scrap of paper. I've cleaned my dildo, I know this dildo's clean, I know that the bag's clean, and I keep a piece of paper in the bag. Now, when I'm doing a session, it's possible that I could plow my way through multiple dicks, depending on who I'm fucking. They could want to go larger, they could want to go smaller, they could want to try a different size, a different style, different bend, a different angle. That's the amazing thing about not having a biodick is that I can swap out to anything. I could have a dick looked like a carrot if I wanted. So I use this to let me know this is a clean dildo that I have not used for that. 'Cause otherwise you're like, "Did I put it back in the bag? I don't know. Do I need to get rid of the bag? Is the bag clean?" Scrap of paper is the mark that I use. You might find your own system. Your own mileage may vary. Whatever works for you. In terms of cleaning, I'm a Virgo with OCD. I'm a huge believer in the cleaning. I cannot stress it enough. A lot of dicks can actually be run through the dishwasher. Obviously not with other dishes, you wouldn't want to do that. And also one of the things that people can do is that they can get overly excited and be like, "I want it to be so sterile." I know people that have actually soaked their toys in a bleach solution, which shrivels them up like little sad carrots and they get all rock hard. You don't want to over clean. What I use, I actually use the kink.com method for cleaning. If you don't want to do something like this, also available in the store, I got this here, organic, natural toy, cleaner or a Lelo anti-bacterial cleaning spray. But say you're a frugal person. These are handy because they're convenient. They're actually designed for cleaning your toys. You could get a mild thing, like, say, Dial soap, or Dove, what they use to rescue the birds and get the oil off of them, and you just gently clean the dick. Basically, you're jacking it off. I have seen people that get so excited, they'll take a scrubby sponge, "I'm gonna get it so clean." And they use the green side of the scrubby sponge. No, you're actually shredding your dick and nobody wants shredded dick, that's bad news bears. Okay, one of the things, too, that I do want to cover really quickly in terms of the dildos is I'm gonna break down lube in a little bit, but here's the thing with lube, is people say, and it's a misconception 'cause it's no longer true, that you can't use silicone lube with silicone toys. That is no longer the case. You can use silicone lubes with silicone toys. The mistake is that you can't use an oil-based lube with silicone toys. Oil-based is what breaks down your silicone toys. And what do you say is, "Oh, coconut oil." Coconut oil is all of the rage. I'm gonna unpack coconut oil in a little bit. I have a story about that. Condoms are your friend. And I, despite the fact that I clean all of my toys, I have them all in individual baggies, I'm super down on the cleanliness, I still double bag all of my toys. Why do I do that? Well, A, mistakes happen, B, I can't cut off circulation to my dick. It is not gonna happen. So when you double stock condoms on your toys, sometimes things can get a little messy. You don't want to shame the person. And if you have double stocked condoms on your toys, I literally can take a condom that's maybe had some issues and roll it off, dispose of it in my hand, and put it in a trashcan and keep going, ssh. Or you can also double dip. Say that you are doing anal play and your receptive partner says, "The butt feels great, but I would love to move back up to vaginal, I'd like to go up." You take off a condom and then slide from the back door to the front door. You can do as many condoms as you want. Your dick's not gonna get cut off. So if I'm doing anal play and the person's like, "No more with the butt, my butt can't take it anymore." It really kills the moment to stop, pull out, undock, take off that condom, put on another condom. I double bag my condoms. Now people were saying, why would you possibly do condoms? If you're fluid bonded with one person and you're doing one toy? The thing is, my toys are not fluid bonded. I use them on more than one person, but even if I'm using it with just one person, I do condoms because it makes cleaning up much easier. Now, like I'd said about flea medication not working as much anymore, antibiotics becoming less effective, more and more people are developing latex allergies. People that have been exposed to latex for years that thought they were fine have suddenly developed a latex allergy. So I always ask the person I'm interacting with, "Hey, what is your latex sensitivity?" And it's becoming easier and easier to find non-latex condoms. Harnesses, all right, I have a lot to say about harnesses. I feel strongly about the matter. So just like I went to ye local sex store and got a cheap piece of plastic to jam up people's holes, I also went to... Where's, oh yeah. So I, like many people, am all about a good DP. "Yeah, ADP's, they're awesome." And there are some dudes, "Well, sure, the idea of a DP sounds fun, but I ain' inviting another dude into this bedroom, how are we gonna make that work?" May I present to you the DP harness. This allows one to dock with the dick and that would go anally and then the toy would go vaginally. This seems awesome, right? How much did I spend on this? $62. (audience chuckles) What? I will admit I've never figured out how to use it. And I bring it to you as an example of what not to do, because I'm all about you all learning from my mistakes. What goes where? This is not $62 worth of harness. I done got ripped off. However, my favorite brand that I actually first came across when I first taught a strap-on play class here, SpareParts, does cover an incredibly amazing and effective harness. Sad, tragic, I'm not buying another one of these. We're just gonna have to deal with a mangled box. I carry it around to tell you don't do it. Don't do it. Stay far away. It is perfectly possible to do a DP, just not with Sportsheets. I don't mean to talk shit. Sorry, Sportsheets. I had mentioned earlier because strap-on play is a game that everyone can play, this actually works for thigh-based play. And I do like to strap it on and comfort someone and just, "Tell daddy all about it." That's right, I can be a daddy when I put my mind to it. And you're comforting someone and patting their back and they're drooling on you and coming. It does not suck, my friend. No, no no. I have this, which is actually a custom made harness that I got from Mr. S. Why would I need a custom made harness? Well, I'm glad that you asked. Because, say you have a bottom who is all about the large sizes. Sometimes you do run into a size queen. The thing with harnesses like this is I'm gonna unpack why exactly I like SpareParts so much, but for a lot of harnesses, you'll see that they have a ring here and the buckle, and this essentially is the ring that holds in your toy. And snap. You can see how difficult that was. It's difficult. It's annoying. So you will have different sized rings for different size toys. And when you are... I don't even know that I have a ring for this bad boy. I suppose I could make it work if I really wanted to. I do actually have a toy for this. I had this custom made for people that really want some girth and width, for bad boys like this. How does this go in? Relax. Just relax and use lots of lube and lots of time and don't rush things. However, when I have a whole toy bag, I've got all of these rings, I'm buckling them, I have lube on my hands, they want a different size. I'm like, "Okay, well, let me get this," and my hands are lubey and I'm trying to... "Okay, stay sexy. Hold on, keep the head space. All right, I got this." And then I... That's really inconvenient. There has to be a better way to do it. Oh, side note, too. I'm gonna get back to the rings. Here's something I feel pretty strongly about. This is a high quality harness, it's leather, it's fancy pants, and this was not cheap. And when I got it, I'm like, "This is so awesome." Can anyone tell me what I did wrong? You can't sterilize leather. You can't. This is a very expensive harness. And I don't care how clean someone's receptive holes are, I don't care how clean your toy is, and I don't care how many condoms you have on, you're having sex. And there is eventually going to be some DNA buildup here on this leather. Particularly if you are doing anal play, shit happens, and you cannot sterilize leather. And you're sitting there like scrubbing and there are people, they're bootblacks, people that have a leather fetish, they can really get into cleaning leather. That doesn't mean that you can sterilize fecal matter off of a leather harness. You don't want that. And also this is actually kind of uncomfortable. These leather straps, they chafe, they go in, so you're like, "Okay, well not the leather. I can do better than that. Oh, this is awesome sauce. Okay, I've got this here. I've got this fancy broad back for comfort and I'm gonna... Okay, gotta move the thing and I'm gonna undo and..." Fuck that. (audience laughs) Or you could have my favorite harness, also sold in the store. This is the store that introduced me to SpareParts and I love it. Super comfortable, super easy to get on. These are adjustable and a much broader band and built-in ring. So literally all I have to do is take my dick, no fumbling around with rings. This is actually a very wide and receptive ring. It'll take all sizes of toys without losing elasticity. It is super easy to put on my toy. I have the pouch here, put it on, bada bing, bada boom. I will actually be showing this to you later in the class. Who is sheathed and ready to go? Tis me, tis me. And these are really easy to clean, too, because they're cloth. Back when I was doing pro dom sessions, I could maybe fuck four different people up the butt in one day. Well, I need four different harnesses, I want them to be cloth, I don't want them to be funky and junky. This is not a cheap harness. I think it's like $150. And at one point I had five of them. I don't have a problem. (clears throat) It would just be, "I think I needed another..." I love these harnesses. And at five I was like, "Okay, I need to stop. It's all right. You can slow down now." But when I find something, I tend to buy a duplicate, just in case. So this is by far and large my favorite harness. I- - Leather. - What about it? - So, the thing. My secret knowledge. - Oh yeah, give me your secret knowledge. - So, one of the things about leather is can you serialize it, no. If you have a super huge fetish for it, you can clean these by chlorhexidine wipes to wipe it down, but you do want to condition the leather afterwards, 'cause it's kind of brutal and let it sit there for a couple of minutes just to kinda let it do its magic. But it can break down a lot of bad things and it's what you do for a surgical prep. Obviously, doctors are still gloving things on and that's not happening here, but it gives you the best practice if you have a huge leather fetish. - Correct, which I don't, because it's uncomfortable and sweaty. I used to look at pictures of Jim Morrison like, "Oh, that's so hot. I don't even want to imagine what your testicles smell like." I'm sorry, like leather pants are just whiffy. I've worn them. "Oh, I'm sweating behind my knee caps." That's not good. No. I had mentioned the class write-up does talk about Feeldoes. I actually bought this, and it's so expensive. And I bought this to tell you not to bother. I can come very effectively from strap-on fucking someone. The higher quality the dildo is, the better. And I basically put the dildo directly on my clit. And as someone is coming and spasming and I'm feeling them, their contractions actually shudder all the way down the cock and I can feel it. It's very stimulating on my clit. But for some people, they really want the penetration. That's important to them. They want to feel the penetration. For me, the penetrating while I'm penetrating someone else is a little distracting, but your mileage may vary. Everybody is different and people are wired differently. So this is supposed to be the one, the only, the amazing. You can put it in, a harnessless strap-on. So you slide this in, bing, and you are now ready to dock in someone else, I have a small, tight vaginal vault. I am the opposite of a size queen. I do not like the big dick. And I put this on and my dick fell off, bink. And there's nothing sadder than having your dick fall off. Psychologically, it's a blow. And I'm like, "I don't understand." I do Kegels like (grunts) and I couldn't hold this up. I have done research. Many, many people have this issue with the Feeldoe and they say, "Oh, well, the workaround that you can do is that you could put it in a harness and it'll stay in place." The whole point of this is that you don't need a harness. And then you're telling me, "Well, use a harness to keep it in." If you really, really need penetration while you're penetrating someone else, then by all means try this, but it does not work as advertised and I actually complained to a toy manufacturer about it and her response is, "Oh, well it works best in the missionary position." I don't fuck people in the missionary position. I fuck on the edge of a bed or doggy style, or, you know, bent over a chair and my dick keeps falling off and it's just really sad for me. So if you super want the penetration and you didn't want to deal with the harness, you could put it on and then climb on top of someone and then have vanilla missionary sex, which some people are into. I'm very vigorous when I bang. I mean, today it will be educational banging, but in my private life, if I'm banging you, one of the sweetest compliments that I ever got by a dom as she was on her hands and knees and crawling away from me is she said, "Rain, you fuck like a black guy that just got out of prison." And I was so touched. It was like, thank you. You might be more romantic, you might not, that might not be your banging style. To each their own. I was very flattered and that's right, yes I do. So I don't do a lot of missionary and I'm staring in your eyes and whispering sweet nothings. I fuck to own your soul, but that's my specific style. It doesn't necessarily have to be your style. One thing that's really important to me, I have a huge goal for self-improvement. I want to be a better version of myself every single day. I teach these classes because I'm really honestly passionate about education. And when I've had people that have come up to me after classes and hugged me and said that I've saved their marriage. I have had people that walk out of these classes taller and straighter. I want to help people. I can't do that without feedback, so I've got class feedback notes there. I would love to hear your feedback. Negative, positive. I'd like to improve. One of my mottoes that I live my life by, I call it, put a ring on it. And I have not one but two rings, so I obviously know what I'm talking about. Every single time you interact with someone, you should be doing it so well that, by the end of it, they want to put a ring on it. You should be fucking at 150% or you shouldn't be bothering to do it. You know what I'm talking about. Or you shouldn't be bothering to do it at all. If you're half-assing it, if you're only half engaged and you're not giving it your A game, they can tell. Why are they gonna come back for less than A game? My goal is to be so fucking good that, when you're in your eighties in a rest home, pissing in your Depends and you shut your eyes, you slip through the mental scrapbook of your life and you remember the time 50 years ago, when you fucked me. That's how good I want to be. That's how good all of you should be. And when you're that good, they put a ring on it. I actually did this bit at a class, an oral sex class for another store, and I came back a month later to teach another class and this woman came up and she's like, "Rain, just want to let you know that I listened to your put a ring on it thing and I thought it was kind of silly and overly dramatic and I have a ring on it." She'd gotten engaged after taking my class. You're welcome, lady. - We're gonna start off with some dildoes here. Here's the thing with dildoes, is I care strongly about sexuality and it is, for me, almost spiritual. There is a cathartic blissed out state, I don't know about any of you all, but for me, when I am properly fucked, I am on the floor drooling, I can't get my eyes uncrossed, it looks like I'm having an epileptic seizure, and if there was a fire, I would die because I can't walk. That's proper fucking. And all of you, guaranteed, can get there. Guaranteed. That's a door that you have to step through and you have to be willing to let go. And most people, I will be with people and I can lead them up to the door and then they stop and they won't take that step over. And when you take that step over into bliss, there is no dignity and all awesomeness. I can see other universes. Properly fucked, I hallucinate visuals dead sober. That's proper fucking. And I would like to share with you today, hopefully, how you can... Oh, I love to watch her walk away. I want to share to you how you can get in that state. So because I care so much about sexuality, I really started learning. And here's the thing with dildoes is back in the day, anyone that were to use dildoes were gross dirty perverts. We don't care about gross dirty perverts. Will you hold this? We don't care about gross dirty perverts because people that like sex and want to stick things in their holes, ew, gross, pray to Jesus. He'll save you. So dildoes used to be, and when I first started out I didn't know any better, and I went to ye olde local sex store and I bought a janky harness and a cheap $20 dildo. (dildo banging) This is what people were putting in their holes. You can pound nails with this thing. They used to have phthalates in them, which are carcinogenic. So people were putting carcinogenic stuff inside their mucus membranes. When sex stores used to get dildoes, it was called off-gassing and they would literally have to take a box of dildoes and open them up outside because the chemical smell that was coming off of these toys that were supposed to be put in your most intimate of regions was so toxic your eyes would water. And people started realizing, hey, maybe we need to be, even if they are just the dirty sex perverts who want to have a bunch of orgasms, how weird is that? They shouldn't be sticking carcinogenic things up their holes. You get what you pay for. This is a small part of my dildo collection. I own over $2,000 worth of dick. When I go to wash my dick, it is a rainforest of cock and my bathtub looks like a sex porcupine. Once you start collecting, you can't stop. It's like baseball cards, but dick instead. You do not want a $20 dick. You want $120 dick. Why do we want $120 dick? This is a VixSkin, or CyberSkin, available downstairs, and it runs 120 to $150. And once I realized what high-quality cock was, I never went back. This is (dull thumping) got squishy. This is horrible. I, before I knew any better, I would fuck people and I would put hard, rigid, uncomfortable plastic in their holes, and they would try and have an orgasm. And it was bad news bears for everyone. I am super happy to upgrade. The thing about starting to explore your sexuality is when I first showed up, it's just me, ta-da! Let's do it. And now my sexuality requires two suitcases minimum. The more you explore it, the more things you need. There are worse hobbies to have. I love my hobby. It's ever so much fun. I want to share it with all of you in the name of education. So what I like to do, I've had toys in my holes and I have had real flesh in my holes. Fact, real flesh feels better. Fact. Fact, there's no way around it. So what can I do to get the toy that I'm putting in someone as close as possible to flesh? I take my Vix CyberSkin dildos and I will actually put them in a sink and run hot water and warm them up to body temperature. And when you have something like this, that's warmed up to a hundred degrees and you're putting it inside someone's holes, versus if you're trying to fuck them with a $20 sex toy, you're gonna be able to tell the difference. And your job as a top is to dazzle. That's your job. You want to be so good and awesome they come back for more, because if I'm not impressing you, you're not gonna come back for more. I'm amazing over here and you're like, "Meh." I have high quality dick that I have warmed up for you with the lube that you like, this is about making you cum your brains out. Oh, they want to come back for more. Ah-ha. So I have people that say to me, "Well, gee, Rain, you know, "I can't do anal. "I can't. "I can't do anal. "I just can't." I have a question for you. Have you died of constipation? No? Then you can do anal. What it is is a mental thing. And when we're nervous and scared, our body tightens. Tight is not the energy you want to be to receive something. Receiving anal penetration is 100% a mental thing. You have to relax. If you can't relax, it's not gonna happen. I first started out with larger sizes and I was having trouble getting them in. People were just like, "Ah, I can't." If you want to start out with just something like this, this is a bend over beginner kit, like so, and you should be able to take this. And if you're at a state where you're panicked, and nervous, and you're fearful, and you can't take this, then anal play is not for you and take it off the table. An important point that I want to cover in terms of dildos is I have... All of these dildos actually come in their own plastic bags, which I have stashed under this table. The point of plastic bags is this. These are a fairly expensive collection of cock. And when you first start out with your cock, where do you, you're gonna keep... You tend to keep all of your sex toys in one place, right? And if you're not thinking about it and you're being casual, you might use the dildos, clean them, you better be cleaning them, and then you put them all together. No. I have maybe not done some play for a while because the opportunity hasn't arisen and I've come back, and when you stack your on top of each other, they can melt. I have some twisted, sad, blotchy Picasso Franken-cock that's happening, that I once did a ride to Las Vegas with a suitcase in a... It was a Nissan Z, right? That little tiny sports car? Mm-hm, right. And the heat of it with my dildos that I had been careless and not had individually wrapped, actually caused all my dick to melt. And I got to Las Vegas, and what happens in Vegas is nothing because my dick melted. And I took it out and it was just like sad. So you keep your dildos separated. One of the things that can happen is that sexy time is fun, and cleaning, and organizing, and sorting, and putting things together, that's not fun. So we have the fun and then we jam all of our toys back in the bag, and we're like, "I will deal with you later "because I want to enjoy this endorphin bliss." And then you don't want to do it the next day, you leave it be, "I'll get to it." And you open up the bag a couple of weeks later and mold colonies have sprouted. They are organizing for the right to vote. I mean, there's a lot happening in that suitcase. You can clean your toys. In addition to cleaning my toys, all of my toys travel in their own bags. Now, the higher quality your dick is, the lintier it's gonna get. And this store actually carries, you can get them anywhere, this is a lint... What is this? You know what? It is a lint-free dick bag. Oh, my dick's too big. Oh, that does happen. Okay. This is a lint-free dick bag. So I have cleaned it, and now I have safe storage and traveling for my dildo. It's not going to... if you have cats or dogs and expensive dick, people will know because the dick attracts hair like you would not believe. Yes, I own a cat. I know you can tell. My bad. I do use condoms on everything, but the higher quality material of the dildos does attract hair. So I put bags on everything. I actually have a really handy trick I like to do. I've cleaned my dick. I have so many dicks, where am I... I don't know, is this clean? What I do is I take a scrap of paper. I've cleaned my dildo, I know this dildo's clean, I know that the bag is clean, and I keep a piece of paper in the bag. Now, when I'm doing a session, it's possible that I could plow my way through multiple dicks depending on who I'm fucking. They could want to go larger. They could want to go smaller. They could want to try a different size, a different style, different bend, a different angle. That's the amazing thing about not having a bio dick is that I can swap out to anything. I could have a dick looked like a carrot if I wanted. So I use this to let me know this is a queen dildo that I have not used for that, because otherwise you're like, "Did I put it back in the bag? "I don't know. "Do I need to get rid of the bag? "Is the bag clean?" Scrap of paper is the mark that I use. You might find your own system. Your own mileage may vary. Whatever works for you. In terms of cleaning, I'm a Virgo with OCD. I'm a huge believer in the cleaning. I cannot stress it enough. A lot of dicks can actually be run through the dishwasher. Obviously not with other dishes. You wouldn't want to do that. And also one of the things that people can do is that they can get overly excited and be like, "I want it to be so sterile." I know people that have actually soaked their toys in a bleach solution, which shrivels them up like little sad carrots and they get all rock hard. You don't want to over clean. What I use, I actually use the kink.com method for cleaning. If you don't want to do something like this (mumbles), available in the store, I got this here, organic, natural toy cleaner, or LELO Anti-bacterial cleaning spray. But say you're a frugal person, these are handy because they're convenient. They're actually designed for cleaning your toys. You could get a mild thing, like say, Dial soap, or Dove, what they use to rescue the birds, and get the oil off of them. And you're just gently clean the dick. Basically you're jacking it off. I have seen people that get so excited they'll take a scrubby sponge, "I'm gonna get it so clean." And they use the green side of the scrubby sponge. No. You're actually shredding your dick, and nobody wants shredded dick. That's bad news bears. Okay, one of the things too that I do want to cover really quickly in terms of the dildos is, I'm gonna break down lube in a little bit, but here's the thing with lube is people say, and it's a misconception, 'cause it's no longer true that you can't use silicone lube with silicone toys. That is no longer the case. You can use silicone lubes with silicone toys. The mistake is that you can't use an oil based lube with silicone toys. Oil based is what breaks down your silicone toys. And what do you say is a... Oh, coconut oil? coconut oil is all of the rage. I'm gonna unpack coconut oil in a little bit. I have a story about that. Condoms are your friend. And I, despite the fact that I clean all of my toys, I have them all in individual baggies, I'm super down on the cleanliness, I still double bag all of my toys. Why do I do that? Well, A, mistakes happen. B, I can't cut off circulation to my dick. It's not gonna happen. So when you double stock condoms on your toys, sometimes things can get a little messy. You don't want to shame the person. And if you have double stocked condoms on your toys, I literally can take a condom that's maybe had some issues and roll it off, dispose of it in my hand, and put it in a trashcan and keep going. Shh. Or you can also double dip. Say that you are doing anal play and your receptive partner says, "The butt feels great, "but I would love to move back up to vaginal. "I'd like to go up." You take off a condom and then slide from the back door to the front door. You can do as many condoms as you want. Your dick's not gonna get cut off. So if I'm doing anal play and the person's like, "No more with the butt, my butt can't take it anymore." It really kills the moment to stop, pull out, undock, take off that condom, put on another condom. Double bag my condoms. Now people were saying, "Why would you possibly do condoms?" If you're fluid bonded with one person and you're doing one toy, the thing is, my toys are not fluid bonded. I used them on more than one person. But even if I'm using it with just one person, I do condoms because it makes cleaning up much easier. Now, like I'd said about flea medication not working as much anymore, antibiotics becoming less effective, more and more people are developing latex allergies. People that have been exposed to latex for years, they thought they were fine, have suddenly developed a latex allergy. So I always ask the person I'm interacting with, "Hey, what is your latex sensitivity?" And it's becoming easier and easier to find non-latex condoms. Harnesses, all right. I have a lot to say about harnesses. I feel strongly about the matter. So just like I went to ye local sex store and got a cheap piece of plastic to jam up people's holes, I also went to... Where's the... Oh, yeah. So I am, like many people, I'm all about a good DP. Yay, DPs, they're awesome! And there are some dudes, "Well, sure, the idea of a DP sounds fun, "but I ain't inviting another dude into this bedroom. "How are we gonna make that work?" May I present to you the DP harness. This allows one to dock with the dick, and that would go anally, and then the toy would go vaginally. This seems awesome, right? How much did I spend on this? $62. What? I will admit I've never figured out how to use it. And I bring it to you as an example of what not to do, because I'm all about you all learning from my mistakes. What goes where? This is not $62 worth of harness. I done got ripped off. However, my favorite brand that I actually first came across when I first taught a strap-on play class here, Spare Parts, does cover an incredibly amazing and effective harness. Sad, tragic. I'm not buying another one of these. We're just gonna have to deal with a mangled box. I carry it around to tell you don't do it. Don't do it. Stay far away. It is perfectly possible to do a DP, just not with Sportsheets. I don't mean to talk shit. Sorry, Sportsheets. I had mentioned earlier because strap-on play is a game that everyone can play. This actually works for thigh based play. And I do like to strap it on and comfort someone and just tell daddy all about it. That's right, I can be a daddy when I put my mind to it. And you're comforting someone and patting their back, and they're drooling on you and cumming. It does not suck, my friend. No, no, no. I have this, which is actually a custom made harness that I got from Mr. S. Why would I need a custom made harness? Well, I'm glad that you asked. Because say you have a bottom who is all about the large sizes. Sometimes you do run into a size queen. The thing with harnesses like this is, I'm gonna unpack why exactly I like Spare Parts so much, but for a lot of harnesses you'll see that they have a, here, a ring here and the buckle. And this essentially is the ring that holds in your toy, and snap. You can see how difficult that was. It's difficult. It's annoying. So you will have different sized rings for different size toys. And when you are, I don't even know that I have a ring for this bad boy. I suppose I can make it work if I really wanted to. I do actually have a toy for this. I had this custom made for people that really want some girth and width, for bad boys like this. How does this go in? Relax. Just relax, and use lots of lube and lots of time, and don't rush things. However, when I have a whole toy bag, I've got all of these rings, I'm buckling them, I have lube on my hands, they want a different size, I'm like, "Okay, well, let me get this." And my hands are lubey and I'm trying to, "Okay, stay sexy. "Hold on, keep the head space. "All right, I got this." And then I... That's really inconvenient. There has to be a better way to do it. Oh, side note too. I'm gonna get back to the rings. Here's something I feel pretty strongly about. This is a high quality harness. It's leather, it's fancy pants, and this was not cheap. And when I got it, I'm like, "This is so awesome." Can anyone tell me what I did wrong? You can't sterilize leather. You can't. This is a very expensive harness. And I don't care how clean someone's receptive holes are, I don't care how clean your toy is, and I don't care how many condoms you have on, you're having sex. And there is eventually gonna be some DNA buildup here on this leather. Particularly if you are doing anal play, shit happens and you cannot sterilize leather. And you're sitting there like scrubbing, and there are people, the boot blocks, people that have a leather fetish, they can really get into cleaning leather. That doesn't mean that you can sterilize fecal matter off of a leather harness. You don't want that. So, and also this is actually kind of uncomfortable. These leather straps, they chafe, they go in. So you're like, "Okay, well, not the leather. "I can do better than that." Oh, this is awesome sauce. Okay, I've got this here. I've got this fancy broad back for comfort and I'm gonna... Okay, gotta with the thing in the, I'm gonna undo... Fuck that. Or you could my favorite harness also sold in this store. This is the store that introduced me to Spare Parts and I love it. Super comfortable, super easy to get on. These are adjustable, and a much broader band and built-in ring. So literally all I have to do is take my dick, no fumbling around with rings. This is actually a very wide and receptive ring. It'll take all size of toys without losing its elasticity. It is super easy to put on my toy. I have the pouch here, put it on, bada bing, bada boom. I will actually be showing this to you later in the class. Who is sheathed and ready to go? 'Tis me. 'Tis me. And these are really easy to clean too, because they're cloth. I, back when I was doing pro Dom sessions, I could maybe fuck four different people up the butt in one day. Well, I need four different harnesses. I want them to be cloth. I don't want them to be funky and junky. This is not a cheap harness. I think it's like $150. And at one point I had five of them. I don't have a problem. It would just be, "I think I need another." I love these harnesses. And at five I was like, "Okay, I need to stop. "It's all right. "You can slow down now." But when I find something, I tend to buy in a duplicate just in case. So this is by far and large my favorite harness. I... - Leather. - What about it? - So the thing, my secret knowledge. - Oh yeah, give me your secret knowledge. - So one of the things about leather is can you serialize it? No. If you have a super huge fetish for it, you can clean these by chlorihexadine wipes to wipe it down, but you do want to condition the leather afterwards, 'cause it's kind of brutal, and let it sit there for a couple of minutes just to kinda let it do its magic. But it can break down a lot of bad things. And it's what you do for surgical prep. Obviously doctors are still gloving things on and that's not happening here, but it gives you the best practice if you have a huge leather fetish. - Correct. Which I don't because it's uncomfortable and sweaty. I used to look at pictures of Jim Morrison like, "Oh, that's so hot." I don't even want to imagine what your testicles smell like. I'm sorry, like leather pants are just whiffy. I've worn them. Oh, that's I'm sweating behind my knee caps. That's not good. No. I had mentioned the class write-up does talk about fildos. I actually bought this, it is so expensive. And I bought this to tell you not to bother. I can cum very effectively from strap-on fucking someone. The higher quality, the is the better. And I basically put the dildo directly on my clit, and as someone is cumming and spasming and I'm feeling them, their contractions actually shudder all the way down the cock and I can feel it. It's very stimulating on my clit. but for some people, they really want the penetration. That's important to them. They want to feel the penetration. For me, the penetrating while I'm penetrating someone else is little distracting, but your mileage may vary. Everybody is different and people are wired differently. So this is supposed to be the one, the only, the amazing you can put it in, a harness-less strap-on. So you slide this in, bing, and you are now ready to dock in someone else. I have a small, tight vaginal vault. I am the opposite of a size queen. I do not like the big dick. And I put this on and my dick fell off. Bink. And there's nothing sadder than having your dick fall off. It really, it psychologically, it's a blow. And I'm like, "I don't understand. "I do kegels, like...." And I couldn't hold this up. I have done research. Many, many people have this issue with the fildo and they say, "Oh, well, the workaround that you can do "is that you could put it in a harness "and it'll stay in place." The whole point of this is that you don't need a harness. And then you're telling me, "Well, use a harness to keep it in." If you really, really need penetration while you're penetrating someone else, then by all means try this, but it does not work as advertised. And I actually complained to a toy manufacturer about it. And her response is, "Oh, well it works best in the missionary position." I don't fuck people in the missionary position. I fuck on the edge of a bed, or doggy style, or, you know, bent over a chair, and my dick keeps falling off and it's just really sad for me. So if you super want the penetration and you didn't want to deal with the harness, you could put it on and then climb on top of someone and then to have vanilla missionary sex, which some people are into. I'm very vigorous when I bang. one thing that's really important to me, I have a huge goal for self-improvement. I want to be a better version of myself every single day. I teach these classes because I'm really, honestly passionate about education. And when I've had people that have come up to me after classes and hugged me and said that I've saved their marriage, I have had people that have walked out of these classes taller and straighter. I want to help people. I can't do that without feedback. So I've got class feedback notes there. I would love to hear your feedback, negative, positive. I'd like to improve. One of my mottoes that I live my life by I call it put a ring on it. And I have not the two rings, so I obviously know what I'm talking about. Every single time you interact with someone, you should be doing it so well that by the end of it, they want to put a ring on it. You should be fucking at 150% or you shouldn't be bothering to do it. You know what I'm talking about. Or you shouldn't be bothering to do it at all. If you're half-assing it, if you're only half engaged and you're not giving it your A game, they can tell. Why are they gonna come back for less than A game? My goal is to be so fucking good that when you're in your eighties, in a rest home pissing in your Depends, and shut your eyes, you flip through the mental scrapbook of your life, and you remember the time 50 years ago when you fucked me. That's how good I want to be. That's how good all of you should be. And when you're that good, they put a ring on it. I actually did this bit at a class, an oral sex class for another store, and I came back a month later to teach another class and this woman came up and she's like, "Rain, just want to let you know "that I listened to your put a ring on it thing, "and I thought it was kind of silly and overly dramatic, "and, uh, I have a ring on it." She'd gotten engaged after taking my class. You're welcome, lady. - We had left off at harnesses and I'm going to pick up with lube. Now, lube is... People feel about lube like they feel about brand loyalty to a car. And people get, this is the lube, this is the one, you know how it is. This is my favorite. Lube is not cheap. And there is nothing worse than spending a ton of money on a bottle of lube... This is $23. This is actually good lube for me. When I had mentioned, "Hey, you need to check with people and see if they have a latex allergy," people have really strong preferences for silicone-based versus water-based. I had mentioned about the coconut oil, coconut oil is all of the rage these days. People think that coconut oil is super hip and you're like, I could spend $23 for a bottle of lube, or I could go to Trader Joe's and get this. Hell yes. Way cheaper. And it's good for you. Yay, coconut oil. Except for, I'm gonna open this, and then I take my fingers and we're going to grab it and then slather it on my dick and then I'm going to fuck your ass. And then I'm going to go back for more. Oh no, that is bad news bears. And I do believe that Trader Joe's wised onto the fact that people were using coconut oil for personal reasons. Because if you go to Trader Joe's now, you'll find this coconut oil pack. These perfectly pre proportioned packets are convenient and ideal for an on the go lifestyle. Oh, Trader Joe's. On the go lifestyle my ass. You're making lube packets. This might seem awesome. And when coconut oil first hit, and the cool kids were doing the coconut oil, I'm like, it's antifungal, it's anti-(indistinct), which she said. And it seemed super cool. And I slathered it on my dick, which had a condom on, because I'm all about the safe sex. And I started fucking someone and I pulled my dick out and my condom was hanging like streamers off of my dick. I had melted my condom because oil-based and condoms don't go together. I had actually used my all-natural super hipster coconut oil and melted my condom right off my dick. Don't do that. So, and it was actually really bad for toys as well. It can break some, not all the toys, but it can break some down. So you're going to be choosing between silicone and water-based. And I recommend finding trial sized. When you first start out and you are buying a lube and you, my lube needs to work for oral, anal, and vaginal. I need to be able to like the taste of it. I need to be able to have something that is going to go inside my mouth, it's going to go inside my butt and it's going to go inside my pussy. So you find stuff like this. This is a sample packet. There is not a huge commitment. I have certainly spent a lot of money on a bottle of lube, taken it home, not liked it. That bottle, that money was wasted. So you get these travel size packets. And then once you find the lube that you want, you can commit to it. So once you find your lube, and you're all excited about it, this is the lube, I've found the one, I've found the thing. This is the gold standard. I'm so excited. I've got this bottle. And my sex life requires a lot of lube because I don't like chafing. Chafing is bad. So I'm gonna be using lube, reapplying, getting more lube. I get some lube. I fuck you up the butt. I get some more lube. I fuck you up the butt. Can you tell me what I did wrong? My hand has touched this. I have cross-contaminated this bottle because I don't want chafing. No chafing for you, I'm being thoughtful, I'm reapplying lube. Even if my hand looks clean, it is super easy to have fecal matter on your hands and not be able to see it or smell it. But it's there. And when you have a larger bottle of lube, something like this, that's gonna take you a while to work through, and if you're with only one person, this bottle could last three months, four months, five months? Yeast infection time. Whoops, Because I've cross-contaminated this bottle. I've gone back and reapplied. So what do you do? Your hand never touches it. When you take the blue bottle and you squirt down like this, I don't care what you've been doing with his hand. It doesn't touch the base of this ever. A work around, because I don't know about you, but for me, certainly, I'm the hornier I am, the stupider I get. My IQ plummets. I call it being cum drunk. Eventually I'm a doorknob and I don't know what happened. Whoops! You need to put your safer sex practices in lockdown with muscle memory before you start. Cause once the sexy time happens, I did what, where, huh? So any handy work around for that is a bottle like this. If I have pump action, I can more easily guarantee that my hand that is contaminated is not gonna be touching this. All right. We've covered lubes and harnesses and dildos. Does anyone have any questions? Were there any questions? Yes? - So as a fun, silly note, if you have lots of sex and we need lots of lube in your life, there's another work around. I really like the pump action. It's quick and easy. But if you are a constant lube needer, or you have sex parties at your house- - Happens. - They have soap dispensers at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, the fancy ones where you put your hand up there, it goes, (hums), you can just put lube in there. It's fantastic. And especially if you have multiple people around, just go, then everyone just gets a kick out of it today. - And you also put a towel down below because otherwise that's a slip and slide that you don't want to have happen. Oh no. - [Audience Member] I have a question. So is there different, I mean, is their whole thing that they do a pH balance on this and all that kind of stuff, and is that... - I'm really glad that you asked. That is an excellent question. The standard of what lube used to be back in the day, cause I've been doing this for awhile. KY. Ooh, KY. Everyone uses KY. It has an incredibly high sugar content, which does indeed lead to unbalanced pH, and unbalanced pH needs to cranky holes. And nobody wants cranky holes. So even KY is like, oh, whoops, we made a mistake. And then you could see as opposed to the purple cap, they started doing a green cap and they had like a leaf on it. And they're like, oh, it's all natural. What they were saying is we fucked up and we were putting sugar in people's holes. People were getting a lot better when it comes to lube now. It looks stuff like scientifically advanced, unflavored, unscented, bio matched, ultra-sensitive, pH balanced. We need to make... We learn from our mistakes. Just like dildos back in the day were off gassing and carcinogenic. We used to not know enough about lubes. We are learning. People are communicating more. Thank you, internet. And most lubes have picked up their game. Read labels, never be afraid to read labels. I am a finicky shopper, all natural ingredients. And this has got a hundred percent isotonic water. All right. You know what? Read the label. You get what you pay for. This is $18. I will happily pay $18 rather than have some cheap KY that leads to a yeast infection. and that hole is off the table, 'cause that's no fun. - Can you just test different ones? Like there are some lubes that people swear by and I can't chuck it in the bin fast enough. So it's going to be up to you and your partner. What I try to use, I try to find a good smattering of lubes I like. That way, I don't get stuck with the, oh, my partner doesn't like it and now we're going to have to find one as we're going, which is- - Way harder. - But like, getting those lube packets. If you end up going to like, any conventions or any fairs like Folsom Street Fair, they'll usually have a whole line up, and just grab a couple of each and be like, "I'm testing that many lubes." And they'll be like, "Happy to give it out to you." 'Cause they do want to market their lube to you. And I tried to find one that silicon-based, and one that's water-based, and maybe like a couple, and just kind of rank them. I know my ex's preference because he used to thieve my lubes for self pleasure. So like, I actually know this preference now, and it really just comes down to testing them. So just get out there and jack off with some lube. - Find which one makes you happy. That's why, when people say that people have lube preferences, like they have for brands of cars, "I'm a Ford," "Well, fuck you, I'm a Dodge." (growls) Like, that's how people feel about lube. They get really devoted to the lube, but you're not going to find without trial and error. - Like, some people kind of like a stickier lube. I hate, like, I can't stand that personally. But I also can't stand ones that dry out really quickly where it's like, I just put you on. Where'd you go? - Vanished. - But I also don't like ones that like, is a perpetual slip and slide for the next three days even after you shower 'cause you can't get the silicone off. 'Cause it's meant to just whoosh straight out. So you just find the one that works for you. - [Audience Member] What was that word you used? On that container, it said bio-something. - Biomatched to the body's own natural lubrication, a hundred percent isotonic water, pH balanced. - [Audience Member] So how is silicon gonna be, or whatever that- - People like it for butt play because it really, it takes away a lot of friction, right? It's just like, it does not dry out at all. I was once having a whole bunch of anal sex with a whole bunch of lube and everything was fine. And I left, and a couple of hours later, I was walking up a flight of stairs and I shat myself. And I was like, "What the?" And I ran to the bathroom, and I hadn't, it was all the lube exiting. And I had just gone up the flight of stairs and I'm like, this is going to be a disaster. Holy bajeez. Oh, it's all the silicone lube coming out. That was in what goes in, must come out. It's not as bad as I thought it was, but nevertheless I'm like, "Okay, well." So yes, your silicone is going to be very, very, very slippery. Some people hate it. Some people love it. Individual preference. Your mileage may vary. Happy to, yes. - [Audience Member] So, I have a friend who gets a powder and mixes his own- - J-Lube! - I think he- - Oh, yes! Cows! - [Audience Member] Yes, yes. What do you think about that stuff? - Aha. I'm glad that you asked. We were just about to get to J-Lube. So, who's good at the bangin' up the butt? Ah, okay, guys know how to put some things up the butt. Like I said, my lube, it needs to be good for oral, anal, and vaginal. J-Lube is a science. It's a powder and you get it. And it's for assisting cows, essentially. Here you go, Bessie. That stuff is so slick. If you spill it, you're getting a concussion. Think on the floor, you're, "ow!" my head, stars, birds, tweet tweet. And there is a science to it. So, it's powder and you put it in the bowl, the water, there's recipes online. How do I make J-Lube? Oh, my friend, you're in for a treat. And you got to put it in the microwave and heat it. You have to stir it. And you feel like a mad scientist. And then it's like stringy and you're like pulling it out of the bowl. There will be no chafing, but everything is covered in J-Lube. Whoa, the heck you say, and also, it's really big. Do not get it in your mouth hole. So, who does ass to mouth? I do, because I'm bringing a clean butt to the table. If I don't bring a clean butt to the table, that's on me. I want to build, to have, and I'm the J-Lube's like, no friction for you, and keep it away from my mouth. And I got too worried. Some people swear by it. You'll do J-Lube and then you can do squat thrusts over a traffic safety cone. Like that thing is, whoosh! (audience laughing) - Good visual though, right? - I saw it on the internet. I did! He, vinka vinka, vinka vinka. I'm like, where did it go? Oh, okay. The human rectum is almost nightmarishly elastic. And if you want it, you can sit on a traffic safety cone. - You can too. - You can too! To each their own. You're welcome. - [Audience Member] Do you do another class? - Yes, it's the anal play class! - Anal play and fisting. I do, who's my Muppet? You're my Muppet. I like to do fishing. And then I like to do the Hitchhiker's thumb because when you, or wave at them, because there's no, hi, how's it going? You're my Muppet. I'm inside you. And you have to admit the ridiculousness. I've made two people go blind from fisting them. So, it's not as bad as it sounds. What happens is that the pleasure and sensation is so intense that their vision will temporarily short out for about 15 seconds. And I've had people go blind on the end of my hand. And they're like, "I can't see anymore." "Don't worry. This'll pass." And when you... (laughs) And then when you pull up, you can have an abrupt drop in body temperature. I've had two firemen carry dudes into the bathtub and warm up the warm up their body with a hot bath 'cause they don't know their name anymore. That's how you know you're doing something right. I've had guys, "Could you get me a wheelbarrow and carry me out the front door? 'Cause I can't walk." You're welcome. The human body is so much fun, if you choose to have fun with it. - All right, let's talk about butts. So when I first started with the butt stuff, I did not, you have to have a sense of humor when it comes to sex, because really it's ridiculous. We're hairless monkeys and we're mashing our genitals against each other. If you really think about it, it's pretty silly. It just happens to feel awesome. But is it super dignified? No. Do I care? Again no. I, oh, one quick thing here with the lube, I often purchase things. This is thousands of dollars of product on this table. This was $9 I'm not getting back. It's a lube shooter and I thought it was super handy for getting lube inside holes. It's not, it's no disposable A, So put lube between the cheeks, not the sheets. That seems like an awesome idea. A, I felt like a mad scientist, like inward, just sticking things in there and, - Which could be your thing - If that is your kink, whom am I to judge. But, you're supposed to use it once and throw it away and it's just like, I can get lube up there. I don't need to spend nine bucks on a piece of plastic to stick it inside someone's booty hole. So when I first started sticking things in butts, I, I had, I had fucked other people's butts, but I had never had anything inside my butt and my first time to do that was on camera, with a high definition camera, pointed six inches from my butt hole. Now, anal between two kind and understanding partners in dim lighting on black sheets is one thing. A camera on you is a whole other thing. And I super wanted to be clean. So I walked into the bathroom at kink.com and I saw this handy-dandy sealing and I'm a two-pack, all right, that seems pretty simple. I take it out and it looks like this. All right, so I'll put this, and I thought I was clean, you know, not eaten and I was all ready to make some awesome porno magic. And I put this in my butt and it was Hiroshima. It was so very, very, very bad, and I was due to be suspended above someone's head and my great fear was I was going to shit on someone's head. So obviously I'm not as clean as I thought. So I did a second bottle. If the first one was your Shima, the second one was nuclear winter and I went, insides were jumping out and that my friends is when I read the side of the box, Do not use more than one in 24 hours, and I used two in five minutes, that was when I learned valuable lesson to read the instructions before you put something up your butt and not after. (smacking lips) And they were knocking on the door, "Rayne, It's time to come to set." Oh shit. Literally. Hey, come out. I'm like, "Hey man, I think I'm gonna shit on someone's head." And they said, "Don't worry about it. It's porn. We've seen everything. We have baby wipes." I understand. I still don't wanna shit on anyone's head. That's not my fetish. That's not how I'm, So I'm happy to report. I Fort Knox down a butt hole and didn't shit on anyone's head, but I learned I need to get better with the butt cleaning. So when you first start out and you get something like this, you can get this at any CVS or Walgreens, or if you're embarrassed and modest, you can order it online and have it delivered to your house in discrete packaging and no one can know. You don't want what's inside the bottle. What's inside The bottle is a laxative. You don't want a laxative? No no no no. You want water. You open up the bottle and you rinse out the bottle and then you rinse again and then just to be sure, once again, and now you have an empty bottle, Oh, okay I have an empty bottle, That's much better, So what am I doing? I'm putting water in and I'm squirting it out. I'm putting it in, I'm squirting it out, putting it in, squirting it out, putting it in, squirting it out. I've gotten bored and I'm not feeling sexy anymore. There are more effective ways to clean your butt than this. And I want to give you all, anyone who in this room, who's going to be on the receptive end of anal, I want to give you a tip. You do not clean your butt right before you're all ready. It's, I consider vaginal sex to be a fast food meal. It's like in and out burger. Anal is like a full course meal, you prepare for it, you plan for that shit, You think ahead, you make a reservation, or you can play Russian roulette and who am I to judge? You can do Russian roulette and everything can work fine, sometimes. But I would find that going in and going out, going in and going out, even though this is a lubricated, it just would start to chafe when I would keep putting it in. So I, and, when you squeeze the bottle, you're only getting about half the water in, water in, water out water in, water out water in, water out The homework assignment I'm going to give you is go home, put on some tunes, have a glass of wine if you need to relax, get comfortable with your body and figure out how your own metabolism works. When there's no pressure and there's not some, "are you, are you ready?" And you're like, "I'm shooting brown water out mass." Alright, my boner's fading. Okay. Well give me a, okay. Hold on. That is not the time to be cleaning your ass. Everyone's metabolism works different. I know some models that in order to prep for a shoot, they need to start fasting the day before, they need to be on multiple Immodium they need to be cleaning their butt for a 12 hour period. Oh, gee, honey. If that's what you have to do, I would take the anal off the table. I'm lucky that I can generally clean my butt out in about five minutes, and I can be good to go. However, it took me a while to get there, water in, water out, water in, water out. I'm not feeling it. So I moved up to this, $26, keep the price tags and all this, you can learn from my mistakes. Slightly bigger bulb, water in, water out water in, water out and I'm fucking bored. Who knows how to stick things up their butt, (indistinct) we had this super awesome dude? He's got the, he's got the cool hat and no shirt cause he doesn't need it. And he's got the cord coiled around himself, around his massive bicep. Now for some people were like, I don't want to go to the store and buy this. Fear not my friends, it can be bought online. I(chuckles), I teach strap-on play classes when I travel. And when I travel, I'm traveling with minimum $2,000 worth of equipment. I cannot check that bag. If I check the bag and something happens to the bag, there is no strap-on play class, wherever I'm landing. Therefore I need to have the bag on me. The TSA loves me. Every time. Do I look like a terrorist? It's my, I mean, I know my dick is exposed to the good, but it is not going to blow up a plane. Every single time I traveled to a class, I will get pulled over. And this is what is in my bag. They cannot wait to go through my bag. I was teaching a, I had to go up to Portland and the TSA pulled me over and this guy started rooting through my bag. He's like, what's this? And I said, enema for cleaning. Oh, okay. What's this? Anal bulb for cleaning. Oh, okay. What's this? Well, this is a shower shot. It is actually because I use it in my personal life and I forgot to pack it in my bag. I'm sorry. It's this part here that screws to this attachment here and the guy rooted through and saw this and he's like, oh, what's this? And I'm like, it's a shower shot for cleaning your butt. He's like, oh, so you could do enemas with it. This is the TSA. Yes, sir. You can do enemas with it. "Oh, I need to get one of those for myself." "I once had an 80 year old woman give me an enema." "Never again." Thank you for sharing. I didn't ask. I know way more about your colon than I ever wanted to. "Where can I get this?" Well, you go to Mister S Mister S, he starts writing it down tink tink. Yeah, that's a, it's a Mister S leather. You're going to enjoy that one. This is what you get for pulling me over. Then he took every single one of my dicks that were in Ziploc baggies, laid it out on the counter, took the bomb swab and swabbed out every one of my Ziploc baggies to make sure that I didn't have explosive packed to my cock. I don't know if he was trying to publicly shame me. You can't. My butt hole's on the internet. I cannot be shamed. And he almost made me late to my plane. I had to actually step around and get everything back in the bag and zip it up because he wanted to keep talking about enemas. Bless his heart. But I did have him write down this. You can order this. How this works is you simply screw it into the shower head, I'm not very mechanically inclined, I can do this in a couple of minutes with a wrench, and then you can shift the pressure. That's so important. So the first time I went to use this as a Virgo with OCD, I wanted to be so clean, so clean, you can eat off my butt hole, clean, clean, clean, and I did full, this thing can peel paint. I watched my stomach balloon and I was like, I can Ooh, oops. So maybe slightly less water. No one's getting strap-on fucked today or fucked up the butt because I look like I'm pregnant. So a little bit goes a long way. You put just the tip in, just insert in and you relax your sphincter, relax. Water flows in, water flows out. Water flows in, water flows out. I can clean my butt in about five minutes. - (indistinct) No, I didn't pack it. Like I said, - And they also make disposable clips in case you have a rotating, - Yeah. Right. And they come in different styles. So this is the basic Mister S leather. I, uh used it because I hate my sex life requires a lot of happy anal and did not pack it in my toy bag. I'm sorry. I meant to, it was a rough morning and it did, - It looks like a steel rock. - It looks like a little steel rock. - It's about this big and it's just a seal with three holes to allow water, to go into your butt. - [Interviewer] How does it come out? How does it pull out? - How do you poop? (indistinct) - Oh, you the, the tube's like 'yey' big. You just relax. It's going to fit. If the water goes in, the water's gonna go out. It goes in. It's gonna go out. Trust, You're not going to build a Fort Knox down and keep that water. It's gonna come out. And, one of the mistakes that people make, I feel bad now if they didn't have the tip because you're having questions, but the tip just basically looks like this water goes in, water goes out. Water goes in, and people were like, dude, you're shitting in the shower. Okay, fine, fine, fine. You're right. That's super gross buckets. You wouldn't wanna shit in the shower. That's really gross, I guess I'm going to stand in the shower, put the water in, hold my butt. duck walk over to the toilet, expel the water, get back into the shower, reload with the water, go back into the toilet. Alright, go back into the shower, It's wet, I'm going to slip You end up in the ER room. What happened? I was trying to clean my butt, shit went wrong, or you could just relax, drop all the fucks and shit in the shower. God invented Ajax and scrubby sponges for a reason. I will clean my shower till it sparkles. There's a drain there. You unscrew the drain plug. And then the great part about the nozzle is that you can control the water, Down your go down. Sometimes it sticks, just use your toe, down you go, and then you clean your feet. So you come out, your butt's clean? Everything's fine. The shower's clean. I actually, as a Virgo with OCD, keep at all times a magic eraser in my shower. I shower and soap with one hand and I magic erase through the other. My shower is immaculate. I multitask like a motherfucker, so I will clean my butt, clean my shower with my magic eraser. Beautiful. Five minutes. My butt's clean. - Who's ready for some educational sex? Me, too. My educational sex. What's this? This looks like a soft and comfy sock. Why would you have a sock? Oh, well, I will show you how this sock is applicable to strap-on fucking. I have, what's this? Fuck shorts. The reason that I wear fuck shorts is this; my life is not a porno. My life is realistic. And you will see in pornos that the woman just has the harness just jammed in the folds. I'm gonna put on a harness here. And if I did not have my handy-dandy fuck shorts, and this was just raw here. I'm gonna be doing. And they never do fuck shorts for porn. So you're thinking, that's how it should be at all times. The answer is no. Because if I'm strap-on fucking you, it's not gonna be for two minutes. So, when you start to do a back and forth thrusting motion, like this, the harness is gonna start to cut. And it's uncomfortable and it's painful. I use fuck shorts. Above and beyond that, I don't know if you can tell, I run on the slender side. And I have a fairly-prominent pubic bone. And if I'm doing really vigorous banging, it's really starts to hurt. I'm not fucking to be on camera. I'm fucking to have fun. I will do something. I had said that if I put my dildo directly on my clit, I can feel all the pressure of it coming down. However, sometimes, if I've had a whole bunch of orgasms and I want to keep fucking you and my bottoms good to go, this is really gonna start to hurt after awhile. Fuck it. I give no fucks. I'll do something like take a nifty, padded sock, wedge it right here. Does it bludge? I don't care. And I have my dick. And now, I can take thrusting. I will do strap-on sessions where I've had willing bottoms that could take three and a half straight hours of ass fucking. Woo. And, at a certain point, you need the fuck shorts. You need a little padding. I've had a bruised pubic bone from so much vigorous banging. Socks like this come in handy. So I got my fuck shorts. I have my favorite harness on. And now I'm going to ask my lovely demo bottom, what dick would you like? This one, this one, that one? - You know the answer. - But I have to ask because it's all about the consent. So before we get started on this, there's two things that I-- - Get it away. - Get it away? So, no, don't do it. I buy these things to tell you not to do it. What is this? Anal Eaze. Ease into comfort. I am putting a numbing agent up my butt and then having you fuck it? Don't do that. You are not numbing this shit out. You need to feel what's happening with your body. Prior to insertion, wait for desensitization to take affect. - The only thing this is good for is it's basically extra-strength benzocaine for putting on your hurting teeth. Don't use it for your butt. - If you want your butt to go numb. But, it's no. Or you could do, oh, what's this? Mystical mint cool head, deep throat oral anesthetic spray. Nice. This is Chloraseptic that they give you for sore throats. And what they've done is they've packaged it smaller and made you pay more money for it. If you've ever had a sore throat and you get that green spray, that's what this is, but it's more expensive and it's in a smaller bottle. Why would you possibly numb out your throat before shoving something down there? It's a horrible idea. People were like, oh, I can do anal if I take Vicodin first. No, no, you want to be in touch with your body. Your body will tell you the difference between good pain and bad pain. If you're doing bad pain, you need to know. You don't wanna be disassociated. People are like, oh, I can party and I get drunk enough and then, well, all about the backdoor. That's where the damage happens. You do it sober. You do it without numbing agents. Well, that's awkward. Okay, fine. Let me know how that butt tear goes for you. My demo bottom has selected the toy that they want. Do you have a latex allergy? - I don't. - Oh, look, consent and communication. That is the core of everything that we do. I am now going to now imagine that I'm going to be fucking your butt. Because I'm not. Because of logistics. But I'm going to talk you through how one would fuck the butt. (wrappers crackling) - Did you get two? - Yeah, two. It was my magical slight of hand. And the great thing about the double bagging, that I really enjoy, is that, a, it keeps my toys clean. So even though this is a clean toy, it's still been, it's got some car hair on it. Shh. - Useful for toys, not useful for bio-penises. - One condom. All right, that's cool. I don't need any more than one. Nah, fuck it, let's do two. Why not? Two works. Two condoms because my dick is not gonna go down. I have two condoms and this allows me to pull off and resheath my dick in another hole. The great thing about this here SpareParts harness is that it is super easy to slide in. I don't have to fiddle with cock rings. I don't have to worry anything about it. This will fit any size toy. I cinch it up. Bada-bing, bada-boom (vocalized thrusting). - [Student] It's better to put the condoms on before you put in? - Yes. - If you know that you're having a date night, you can prep it, while Rai's doing her penis dance, you can just put them on and then have them ready. And if you take the first one off, you can do a couple of them. Because the point is, you don't have to worry about the condom breading down nearly as much as you do with a bio-penis. There's no sperm coming out of that cock. We're not really concerned with the sterilized cock of the things that can go wrong with a bio-penis. How are you doing? - I'm in my happy place. The thing is, they're fun. And I'll look down, I'm on the phone and I'm jacking myself off. I'm like, oh, I get it. I get why dudes can't get their hands off the dick. I'm just like, hey, how's it going? Oh, yeah, it's fucking fun to play with dick. I get it. So I had talked about how super awesome and talented this lady is. And she is. How super awesome and talented are you? We're curious. I take a black towel, share some black towel. ♪ Do, do, do, do, do ♪ - Normally I would not have a full stomach. But I needed to eat 'cause I was getting super hungry. So if bad things happen, bad things happen. - Black towel. - I may be a professional. But it can happen. - I'm gonna be so nice to your throat. So, here's the thing, strap-on play. You're like, okay, you're taking a piece of plastic and you're putting it your mouth hole. What's the appeal of that? When my dick goes into your mouth, this person is choosing to take dick over air. How magical is that? I'm owning the back of your throat hole. Every molecule of air that is in your lungs is there because I permit it to be. That's magical. I, we're super not gonna do it here, but in my personal life, my strap-on play will involve a towel, a trashcan-- - Without the holes. - With a liner. Without holes. And I'm going to fuck you until you look like a sad-eyed panda that is sliding off the end of my dick. And I want to hit you with a cock train until you come undone. And the pretty princess is a pile of goo at my feet. (sighing) But not tonight. (chuckling) We're not doing that tonight. However, if you are the type, towel, trash can, go to town. Do it on an empty stomach. Some fruit juice is nice. I like a little fruit juice. And you don't, here's the thing, is that it is a form of breath play. If I were to make someone, (chuckling) if I make someone vomit, they are essentially squirting from their throat. I am owning their bodily functions. I have taken such control over their body, via my dick, I own their bodily functions. Tell me-- - As long as that's consensual. - As long as that's consensual. Tell me that's not fun. We're not gonna do that tonight. But all I'm saying is-- - We'll see. - Well, we'll see. One of the many reasons I've fallen in love with this lady, other than her amazing brain, and those big Bambi eyes, normally when we do this, it's not on an empty stomach. And she makes a point of wearing a lot of heavy makeup. And then her eyes start to run. Just disheveled. And she gets these beautiful tear tracks of black streaking down. And, oh, oh. - Shitty liquid eye liner. - You want really smudgy eyeliner. If you're gonna be doing this, and it is a beautiful thing, not high quality, you want the stuff that's gonna run. You want someone to know that they ran into the end of your dick. - [Student] We have to switch seats so you can see. - Oh. - You wanna see? - We'll go over here. We'll angle you this way. It's just, it's how-- - It's smart to angle it that way. You gotta see that. We can turn. It's not like we're fixed in a position. God, are you a porn star? I thought you could move places. - Get on my dick. Ah (gasping). - So, for her, she likes it when she can feel a nose right there. So even though I don't make it a habit to deep throat things, usually, right away, it also undoes all of her buttons. So pay attention to what the person on the other end, who's wearing the strap on likes. Don't just like, okay, it's a job and I'm just sucking a dick so it should be boring. No. Pay attention to how that's feeling. Because if they have other holes, you can play with other holes. But not necessarily. - (laughing) Holy Jesus. - And then you can make them do that. And that's the thing, no matter if this, if it's this, if it's bio, you just make them make faces. Get really excited about it. - I'm good, I'm good. That is, that, just it's like, I'm good. So that is, give me a moment. It's good she can do the things. So that is why one gets their dick sucked. Because, oh, it's beautiful. Normally, it's a little longer. Sorry, you gotta give me a moment (sniffing). - Usually it's longer. - Okay, so that's fun. You should do that if you get a chance. What else could we do? I'm so glad you asked. So what we're gonna do real quick, we're gonna wrap up the class. If I can, actually, we can take a break and we can get the people to sit over here. And we're gonna move this here. And then, I'm gonna talk you through the other two set of holes. - Oh, so, for dick sucking, if you are the one with the strap on, it can be really exciting to want to force them onto your cock. But especially as you're starting out, unless that's something that you explicitly talked about beforehand, don't do that. And let them direct it. And if you are the person who is sucking the lovely cock, if you want them to take control, because you're in that space, just take your top hand and place it on the back of your head. Say, you can start, you know, you can do the thing if you want to do the thing now. And I find that that's one that's hard for people to hear no on. But just make it part of your practice. If you want vigorous head-fucking, just put my hand. - Communication. - And that's a really silent communication you can do in an instant. And you just have that pre-talk. You want me to fuck your face? Put my hand on your head and I'll know you want me to fuck your face. - One of the mistakes that people make when it comes to really vigorous throat-fucking, is they think I'm gonna train someone and I'm gonna own them and I'm gonna be dominant. And what you're doing is a form of involuntary breath play, which can be incredibly panicking for people. And when you can't read, when you have the dick far enough down your windpipe, you only have one option, dick or air. You don't get both. They don't happen at the same time. And I've seen countless people that are ruined by someone who thinks I'm gonna train you by vigorously throat-fucking you. And they cause a panic. Always let the person that is receiving it control the pace. If you try and take charge and control the pace yourself, you're setting yourself up for disaster. I know people that have done anal play that have had it go poorly and they never wanted to have it done again. I know people that have been throat-fucked in a way that they're like, that's off the table for life. You don't wanna do that. You don't get to play with a toy if you break it. Don't break the toy. - And again, it doesn't mean that it may never happen, but let the person be in the head space to do that is a very, even for somebody as a professional, it is a hard space to be in. And I do not want to have to punch your balls, if you have balls, or punch you in the cunt to tell you to knock it the fuck off. It's going to ruin all of the time and I won't feel bad at all. - Fact. So we're actually using a Liberator wedge here to prop her up. And we're using a sports sheet, which is waterproof. Super handy. You'll notice that I have a black towel in my hand. I'm all about the black towels. My sex life involves a lot of black towels. Why am I doing? Hello. - Don't get too distracted. - Okay, sorry, sorry. - Education. - Education. My job doesn't suck is what I'm trying to say. Like it could be way worse than it is. I always have black towels. I drape my black towel over my. Why? I'm using a lot of lube. I don't want my hands to be messy. I can wipe like this. This is actually a great thing. I could conceivably put it under their waist and use it as a harness. - Yep. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Use it gently. Use it as a harness. I can slide it around the face and use it as a gag. I can use it as a blindfold. I can use it for lube. Towels are really handy. You'll see me wearing a pair of fuck shorts. I've got a comfy sock down the front of my fuck shorts. I've got a towel over my shoulder, like this. And I am rocking your world. You're welcome very much. Because I'm about realistic banging. So we are going to talk through what it would be like to do the anal without actually doing the anal. So the first thing that I'm doing is taking my lube. I'm going like this. I'm not touching it. I'm super coating my dick, like so. More lube. Lube's always your friend. And the handy towel, I'm gonna put the lube right here. I might need it later. I want it within reach. So when we go to do the anal play, I always say that the ass is like the bouncer for a very exclusive club. And once you get past the bouncer, the club itself is quite roomy. I go to put the toy on the sphincter. And this might seem counterintuitive, but basically what you're gonna have the receptive partner do is to push back as if they are trying to have a bowel movement. And you go, I don't wanna do that. Well, a, make sure your butt's clean. And then, as your toy starts to dock, have them push back. No, I'm trying to go to the bathroom. Whoa. Am I gonna go to the bathroom? If your butt's clean, you don't have anything to worry about. But the act of acting as if you're trying to push back, actually causes the sphincter to dilate. And you are gonna slide in and dock. When you've slid in and docked, stop, wait. Allow the body to accommodate. Because this is a whole new sensation the body's gonna have to get used to. Once I've docked, and the body's like, oh, okay, this isn't so bad, they're actually gonna slide back out. I like to apply a little more lube, slide back in, a little more lube, slide back out. Now, in this case, we are not gonna be doing back door. We're gonna be doing the front door. I don't just rush in like gangbusters. So the first thing I'm gonna do is just start. Hey, how's it going? Your bottom, at all times, communicating with you. They're always giving you information. How their body is, how their breathing is, how their face is. I can tell if someone's into it. I can tell if someone's not. I can tell if someone wants me to keep going, if they want me to shift. So even if I'm gonna be doing something, you don't just slam it in, you romance. So I'm-- - Especially for the butt. - Especially for the butt. I'm knocking on the doorbell. Hi, how's it going? And then, and then, all right. And then I like to-- - She's a slut, so for her, you can just do whatever. And watch the motions here. You're going to peak but you can fuck different ways. If she can fuck this small but still hit a few spots, so can you (chuckling). - What's that, what? - I just thought of-- - What, what? So, basically, here's the secret, what you do is you put the dick in and then you take it out. And you put it back in and then repeat as needed. And so kinda. Ta-da. - Yay. (people clapping) - One of the things that this one doesn't like to always go into, but I think it's really important for this class 'cause one of the feedbacks that we both hear is, well, I'm not built like you. I'm not built like a porn star. It's like, just be creative. This one has a fused spine, cannot do the bending thing nearly as well and therefore, other types of thrusting is not in your bag. But you definitely learned to get around it. - What I can do, though, however, is. - [Student] Oh, whoa. (people speaking over each other) (students laughing) - It all depends. Just find what works for you. And then, you put it in and take it out and put it in. Ta-da.

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