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There are a lot of different positions you can explore with erotic spanking. The key is getting comfortable. Both the giver and receiver should be comfortable throughout the erotic spanking. If you're ever uncomfortable, pause for a moment and adjust. The erotic energy you're creating isn't delicate and won't be shattered if you take a moment to get comfortable. Also notice how you feel in different positions. Not just how your body feels but what emotions they evoke. Different body positions can bring up different emotions and different feelings and even different kinds of erotic energy. So notice how you feel when you're, say, over your lover's lap versus pressed up against a wall. Does one make you feel naughty and the other sexy? Notice what comes up for you as you explore different positions, and then you can find your favorites and create your own erotic experience. Here are five different erotic spanking positions to get you started. Have fun exploring them all. Over the knee is one of the most classic spanking positions. The person doing the spanking should get comfortable, either in a chair, a couch, or sitting up in bed. Over the knee should really be called over the lap, since it is the most comfortable when you position the recipient's weight on the givers thighs. This allows the receiver to surrender more weight more comfortably. In general, it's best to orient the head towards the non-dominant hand, so the butt is positioned facing the dominant hand of the person doing the spanking. This position is very intimate and for many people has an inherent power dynamic. For some people, this position creates a feeling of being a naughty little kid being disciplined. It is a very comfortable position that allows the person doing this spanking to remain relaxed and comfortable, while still providing a great range of motion for the spanking hand. This position also keeps the buttocks round and relaxed, allowing them to receive more impact with less pain. In general, the more tense a muscle is, the more each spank will hurt. Some people like to take advantage of this position by grinding the genitals into the knee or lap of the person they're lying across. This can be a hot way to amp up the arousal during a spanking. In this position, the giver can also use their non-dominant hand to caress the back, neck and head of their lover. This is a great versatile position that might be the best for your first explorations of erotic spanking. We call this position over one knee facing backwards. This is one of the hottest positions for spanking that we haven't seen taught anywhere else. In this variation of over the knee, the giver sits comfortably on the side of the bed, knees bent and feet planted firmly on the floor. The recipient straddles one thigh of the giver and can then relax the rest of their body onto the bed. This position allows more direct grinding of the recipient's genitals into the thigh of the giver. It also makes it easier for the giver to spank both cheeks using both hands at the same time. This is a really hot position that we highly recommend you try. You can also try spanking doggy-style, with the recipient on their hands and knees in bed or another soft surface. The giver gets in position alongside or behind the recipient. Being along one side of the recipient allows the giver to have a more comfortable swing and make impact on the best parts of the butt. Being directly behind makes it a little harder to spank the butt comfortably. Start on the side and then move behind if you want to transition more to direct genital contact or sex. The receiver can get more comfortable in doggy-style by going to knees and elbows. This also allows the recipient to thrust their butt higher into the air and rest more comfortably on their elbows and forearms. Sometimes it even feels good to stretch your arms way out in front of you while sticking your ass up in the air. You can easily move between these variations, switching it up for comfort and as the experience changes. Doggy-style is the best position for creating easy access to the recipient's genitals, from their position along one side of the recipient's body. It is also one of the most visually arousing positions for many people, and an easy one to use in bed if you are mixing spanking in with other forms of sex. The giver can use one hand to spank and reach under the recipient's body to add genital stimulation. There is something really hot about being spanked while standing up. Leaning against a wall or even a full length mirror. Standing up, both the giver and receiver's heads are at around the same height, which makes it easier to talk, kiss, and look into one another's eyes as you spank. Find a wall to lean against. Rest your hands or forearms against the wall and stick your butt way out. The giver can stand alongside and spank with one or both hands. If you have a big mirror, try using it as part of your erotic scene. Many people find the added visual stimulation very hot. Bending over the arm of a couch can be a really fun position to explore, but it won't work on all types of couches and sofas. It works best on furniture with big padded arms that provide comfortable support. You can also experiment with spanking positions using various pieces of furniture. You can kneel backwards on a high back chair and drape your body over the back, bend over an ottoman or footstool, or lean into a chair or stool whilst standing. Use your imagination and the furniture you have on hand. The ultimate goal is to find one or more positions that you find sexy, comfortable, and give you the freedom to relax and enjoy your spanking. As you explore each position, notice how each position evokes different kinds of erotic energy and interaction between you and your lover. Have fun exploring different positions and different kinds of erotic spanking. - So when you're spanking the butt, you always wanna aim for the flashiest parts of the butt, and never at the bones. Hitting near the bones can be really painful and it just never feels quite so good. So you wanna aim at the fleshiest part of your lover's butt, and depending on how large your lover is, you might have one, two, or three or four handfuls of flesh to play with. But you wanna always aim right here in the center of each butt cheek. There's this area down here, right at the crease of the butt, under the cheek, that we call the sweet spot, because when you strike it, it sends a vibration wave straight through the butt cheek, into the genitals and can create a lot of arousal. So you wanna really emphasize spanking on the sweet spot of each cheek, and then you can spread out your blows all around the fleshy area. Again, what you wanna avoid is the sacrum, this flat triangular bone, the hipbones, and right in between the butt cheeks, where the coccsyx bone is. So it's actually really kind of fun to have your lover wear a G-string when you're first learning to spank, 'cause this will kind of actually frame the area for you. And then after you gained familiarity, you can take off the G string and you'll know where to spank. You also never want to strike the lower back. There are some vital organs just below the skin here, and so you never wanna strike blows at the lower back. Always aim for the butt cheeks themselves, where there's a little bit of fat to cushion the blow, and you're good to go. - To make spanking as erotic and pleasurable as possible, you wanna incorporate a variety of sensations. You can learn to use your hands in a number of different ways so you can create different kind of blows. This way you will be able to offer your lover a wide range of sensations. As you explore and discover what your lover likes best, you'll be able to create the exact kind of specific erotic experience that they are seeking. There's a spectrum of spanking sensation that ranges from thuddy to stingy. Thuddy sensations are deep, penetrating, blunt kind of blows. And stingy sensations are more along the surface and they generate more heat and kind of a burning sensation. Some people love thud, others like sting. But an excellent spanking will include a variety of these different sorts of blows, so that you can keep the experience interesting, arousing and surprising. As you explore together and use this sort of vocabulary, you will be able to pinpoint the exact kind of sensations that your lover likes best. Here are five different ways you can use your hands to spank. Enjoy. Start exploring spanking by focusing on using a relaxed open hand. Keep your hand relaxed, fingers pressed together to support one another and create one smooth working surface. Don't spank with open fingers. You risk injury to your own hand and it doesn't feel very good. With a smooth, relaxed hand, spank the butt, allowing your hand to pivot on the wrist and fall into the flesh. To make the sensation more stingy, bounce your hand up quickly after impact. To make a spank more thuddy, stay in contact after you land your blow. Don't immediately bounce up. Think about aiming for the muscle just below the surface of the skin, rather than the skin itself. Next, try spanking with a cupped hand. Curve your hand to make a small cup, as if you were drinking water out of your palm. Bring your hand down and spank with your cupped hand. This will feel less intense and create less of a stinging sensation. A cupped hand is a great way to begin a spanking, as it is gentle, allowing you to open the spanking with lower intensity sensations. This is also a good technique to use after a few intense spanks, when you want to keep the momentum up, but want to also give your lover a little break to recover from the intensity and integrate the sensations of more severe spanks. Cupped hand spanking also makes a great noise, which can be erotic for both you and your partner to hear. You can also make your hand more rigid, locking the wrist joint and spanking with more of a paddle-like motion. This will feel sharper and more severe. It is not as good for the giver's wrists and hands, so don't use this technique for more than a few blows in a row, but feel free to mix it in to create more variety of sensations once the recipient is fully warmed up. Make your hand into a relaxed fist and use a loose bouncing motion to bring the fist down onto your lover's butt. You are not punching your lover's butt, but rather delivering a spanking motion with your hand in a loose fist. This changes up the surface area and impact to create a new kind of sensation, allowing you to create variety. A fist feels more like a deep penetrating blow, more thuddy and less stingy. Notice here how each blow creates a big vibration wave through the butt cheeks. This relaxes the muscles, floods the pelvis with fresh blood flow, and can create a lot of arousal. One of our favorite top secret sex techniques is using your forearm to deliver broad, powerful impact during a spanking. With this technique, you can create a strong blow across both butt cheeks at once. This feels a little like being hit with a padded baseball bat. Delivered at the right time in a spanking, this can create a big, heavy thudding sensation that can really surprise your lover and almost knock the wind out of them. Use this to create a sensation of heavy brute force and intensity that doesn't hurt so much as deliver a feeling of power and strength. You can also use your forearm for light bouncy blows to create lots of vibration in the pelvis. Again, notice the big vibration waves created by each bouncing blow. Those vibrations mean lots of sensation. This is a good warmup technique, or can be used to take a little break during a more intense spanking. As you explore erotic spanking, use each of these five hand positions to deliver a wide range of sensations, and pay close attention to your lover's responses. Over time, you'll find your favorites and learn how to use these techniques in different combinations to create your own unique, erotic, spanking experience. - Using rhythm is essential to create a delicious, erotic, spanking experience. Don't worry, you don't have to be master drummer, to create an amazing, erotic spanking. But, just like music, if you use rhythm and variety, you can create an intense journey of sensation, for your lover. Rhythm is what allows the body to relax into the spanking, and go into an erotic trance experience. It's that moment where you float away from your head, and you're totally in your body, and just awash in sensation. That's one of the best things about receiving an erotic spanking, and you can only take your lover there, if you use enough rhythm with enough variety, to really lull the body into focusing fully on sensations. In other words, you don't want to just be haphazard, and spank here and spank there, without any rhythm. That just kind of feels chaotic, and doesn't feel very good. But if you go into a nice, steady rhythm, the body starts relaxing into the sensation, and then you add a twist of variety, and you capture your lover's erotic attention. That's how you create this journey of sensation, we'll be talking about in this guide. In this next video, we're gonna show you different rhythms, to explore as you get started. Don't get hung up on exact counts, or do I do three or five, the point is, to use rhythm, and then add a twist of variety. And we're gonna show you exactly how to do that. Think of your erotic spanking like a symphony. You want to use repetition, and then variety, to create a beautiful, sensual journey, for the body. Have fun exploring. - [Narrator] Three lighter spanks, followed by a harder blow. (skin smacking) Light, light, light, hard. Light, light, light, hard. Do a set on one butt cheek, and then switch to the other butt cheek. (skin smacking) Play with the same rhythm, switching between a cupped hand for the lighter blows, and an open hand for a firmer spank. Cup, cup, cup, slap. (woman moaning) Cup, cup, cup, slap. (skin smacking) One cheek, other cheek, both cheeks together. (skin smacking) One, two, together, one, two, together, one, two, together. You can do this rhythm with either cupped hands, open hands, or any combination. (skin smacking) Three spanks on one cheek, followed by one on the other. (skin smacking) (skin smacking) Try a cupped hand for a count of five, followed by a relaxed hand spank. (skin smacking) (skin smacking) Cover the entire butt cheek with cupped hand spanks, and then finish with a strong, four-arm wallop. (skin smacking) (woman moaning) Use a loose fist for a count of three, followed by a firm hand. Thud, thud, thud, sting. After you get comfortable using these basic rhythms, you can follow your own instincts, and create your own unique symphony of sensation. Just remember to use a variety of hand positions, to create a wide range of sensation, and spank with both rhythm and variation, to give your lover the best erotic spanking experience. (skin smacking) - [Narrator] In this scene, Chris plays with a little bit rougher and more dominant erotic energy. To begin, she starts with Sophie on her knees, head bowed and hands behind her back. This is an example of creating a deliberate beginning to your playtime together. It signifies to both of you, that you are going into a special space and time where the rules have changed, that you both are creating a deliberate experience of power exchange. Here, Chris uses gentle touch to begin connecting and warming up Sophie's body. Even if you are building up to rough a touch and intense spanking, we recommend beginning by seducing your lover's body with sensual gentle touch. Create a pleasurable transition from everyday life into the erotic zone you are entering together. Light bondage restraints can also be used to designate the boundaries of your power exchange, serving as a physical reminder of the desire to submit. Wide cuffs specifically designed as erotic toys are your best bet. Rope or silk ties can cut off circulation, leave marks, and be hard to remove. If playing with power and bondages of interest to you, consider investing in a set of cuffs that you find sexy. Standing up against a wall or large mirror can be a sexy way to begin. It allows easy access to touch the entire body. There is something inherently sexy to being shoved up against a wall. You can emphasize this by pressing your entire body weight into your lover, pining them against the wall as you kiss their neck, shoulders and back. Your first spank should always be very deliberate and purposeful. Make it a nice clean blow to the fleshiest part of the butt. Start with moderate intensity, enough to capture their attention but not so much that it hurts right away. When spanking up against the wall, invite the recipient to take a nice wide stance for better balance. This position can be fun to begin a scene but isn't really the best for a full spanking session as the recipient can't fully relax while standing up. Remember that the more relaxed the body is, the better spanking can feel. Keep this in mind while exploring positions for spanking. Comfort is essential if you want to fully go into the sensations and experience of erotic spanking. Try incorporating hair pulling into your warmup. Hair pulling is a powerful way to start introducing more dominant energy. Always gather up a whole fistful full of hair and hold the hair firmly. Tug in one direction. Don't yank suddenly. You can also try holding their hair firmly in one hand, while you spank with the other hand. (hand spanking) One way to express dominance and invite your lover to submit to you is by physically guiding their movement from one position to the next. Here, Chris guides Sophie away from the wall and then throws her over the arm of the couch. These kinds of movements are risky as you never want to hurt your partner while throwing them about. But a good, firm shove onto the couch or a bed can be a fun way to show your strength and give your lover the feeling of being tossed around a bit. Start with smaller movements and then work your way up to being able to throw your lover around with more confidence. Here, Chris is starting to slowly build up intensity in the spanking session. Notice the very simple pattern she is using. She spanks one cheek and then the other in a very simple rhythm. Then she spanks both cheeks at once. Then slowly speeds up. (hand spanking) Watch Sophie's face and notice her responses. (hand spanking) Can you read her responses and get a sense of how she is feeling? Reading your partner's reactions is an essential skill to master so you can take them on a powerful journey of sensation. After a bunch of cup 10 spankings Chris switches to using loose fists to quickly cover Sophie's butt in blunt but forceful spanks. Notice how she is bouncing off the skin rather than landing deep blows. Time can seem to stand still when you are receiving intense sensations. This spanking sequence is only about 30 seconds long but the pace of the spanks creates a ton of sensation in a short period of time. As you begin playing with erotic spanking, start with short peaks of intense sensation and then slowly build up to longer peaks if your partner craves more intensity. Find ways to maximize skin contact and allow your lover to really feel your presence. Try draping your entire body over theirs, pressing into their skin with your full body weight. In these early stages of the spanking, it is important to make a lot of skin contact and stay connected with your lover. Notice here, how Chris is using her knee to rock Sophie's pelvis into the couch. Using the knee creates a big broad surface that creates a lot of sensation without being too intimidating. Plant one knee firmly in between your lover's leg and then thrust back and forth without breaking contact. Use enough force to rock the entire body. You should see the body moving from head to toe. Use the element of surprise to your erotic advantage. After delivering a series of rhythmic blows, start the motion of a spank, but don't make impact. Your lover will be anticipating a spank, and will be surprised when it doesn't arrive. This will focus their attention and create a moment of desire for your touch. Then when you do land your next spank, you'll surprise them again. Don't overuse this trick, or it will lose its power. With each spanking, you are attempting to find the place of just right. You want to spank hard enough and with enough intensity that you take your lover on a journey without spanking so hard that it just plain hurts. One of the trickier things about spanking is this place of just right is always changing depending on your lover's mood, health, and overall arousal level. What feels good on one day might feel too intense on another. So it is a dynamic dance to find that just right place each time you approach your lover's body. (hand spanking) This is true for all sex acts, but it's especially true for spanking and other forms of more intense sensation play. The most essential skill to develop is to pay attention to your lover's responses as you spank. Notice how your partner responds to the hardest spanks. Does it seem like an, "Oh yes," or a, "That was too much?" Gradually increase intensity when you notice they're responding positively to the hardest spanks in your sequence. As you spank, their body will start creating endorphins, the natural painkillers that will make spanking feel pleasurable. A slow buildup towards more intensity will make sure you don't start spanking too hard before their body is ready for it. - So on a scale of one to 10, where was that last blow? - Oh seven. - [Narrator] If you want to check in verbally, it can be useful to use a scale to see how the spanks are feeling to them. Here, we use a scale of one to 10 to check in. You can also ask simple questions like, "Do you want me to continue? Do you want more?" (Sophie moaning) There are lots of ways to add even more sensation to a spanking session. To create an intense sharp sensation, consider using the Wartenberg wheel sometimes also called the pinwheel. Originally designed as a medical device to test nerve reactions, the Wartenberg wheel is a stainless steel wheel of sharp points that create intense sharp sensations but will not cut the skin. Run it over your partner's skin and notice their response. Often it creates a shocking reaction and can be used to create a strong element of surprise. explore different amounts of pressure, different speeds, and different areas of the body. Running it up and down the spine is simply thrilling. The Wartenberg wheel is only a few bucks and is available on Amazon. Go to pleasure mechanics.com/eroticspanking to find links to all the toys and implements used in this video. (hand spanking) Once in a while during your spanking session, embrace your partner and hold them firmly. Holding creates powerful feelings of closeness, safety, and security. Never underestimate the power of simply wrapping your arms around your lover and holding still for a few moments. Use this technique anytime you want to create a warm pause in your spanking session. If you get really into spanking and crave heavier sensation, eventually your hand will get sore. It is not uncommon for the recipient to crave more intensity than the giver can comfortably offer with a bad hand. Leather gloves can be used to pad the hand. They protect the givers hand and deliver a fattier spanking sensation. Try to find a pair of thick leather gloves that have no seams on the face of the palm to create a nice, smooth surface to spank with. Tighter gloves work best. Some people even use padded motorcycle gloves. Try on a few pairs before you buy and see what you feel sexiest in. When spanking with gloves, you'll lose a bit of sensory feedback that may make it harder to tell how your love is responding to the spanks. Pay even closer attention to the other physical cues like their breathing, sounds, and how they are moving in response to your spanks. Once the butt is really warmed up and super sensitive from all your spankings, play with pinching and shaking the butt cheeks. Pinch a big broad area so it doesn't feel too painful. Gather up the flesh and then give it a good shake. She can create vibrations, sending fresh blood into the pelvis and can create arousing sensations in the genitals. Shake with enough vigor that you see the vibrations traveling across the entire butt cheek. (hand spanking) Using a paddle is an advanced erotic activity. We strongly encourage you to play with erotic spanking with just your hands for at least a dozen sessions before even considering using a paddle. Remember that as soon as you're using a toy, you lose a lot of the sensory feedback that tells you how your lover is responding to your blows. So you need to pay even closer attention to the sights and sounds of their reaction. Start with a leather paddle that has a large, broad surface. When you are first using a paddle, go very lightly and pay attention to how your lover responds, then work your way up to firmer blows. Aim becomes even more important. Remember to only strike the fleshy padded parts of the butt cheeks. Never hit any bones when using a paddle. Try and always think about the paddle as an extension of your hand and pay close attention to how your lover is receiving the strokes. A spanking session can last a few minutes or a few hours. Only you will know what is right in each moment. Timing will also depend on whether the spanking is a standalone erotic experience or part of a longer session of making love. As you feel you are approaching the end of your spanking session, think about creating one strong climax. Start creating peaks and valleys of intensity and then sustain the peaks a little longer. The goal is to intentionally create moments of intensity that last long enough to give you a lover an experience of being flooded with sensation, but stop before the pain becomes overwhelming. You want to bring your lover right to the edge, hold them on that edge for a few intense moments and then flood them with relief when it's over. After your last blows, take a few moments for aftercare. This can look a lot of different ways and you may want to decide ahead of time with your lover how you both want to end the spanking session. The big question here is what comes next after the spanking. One option is to simply place your hands on their butt and hold still for a few moments or gather your lover up in your arms and pull them close. Or you can transition into other erotic activities. Just remember that they are going to be altered. You have released a flood of opiates into their bloodstream so they will quite literally be a little high. Respect this tender state and pay attention to what they want. Do they need soothing cuddles or are they ready to have beautiful sex? When in doubt, check-in and gently ask how they are doing, but give them space and time to process the experience and relax. Take a few breaths together and savor the intimacy you have created as you explore the pleasures of erotic spanking.