In Western Society, we’ve been fed a lie.
The lie comes from a belief that to be of value, “one must struggle and work hard”.
Enjoyment of life and its pleasures are usually last on the list, after long hours of labor that prove your “worthiness”.
For women, this is even more so true.
This desire to get ahead in the rat race of life comes at a detriment to our own well-being.
Women are more likely than men to report levels of overwhelming stress and nearly half of all women say stress has had them lying awake at night.
Shockingly, women are also twice as likely to experience major depression than men.
Call me crazy, but I believe there may be a link between withholding ourselves from pleasure, and being depressed and stressed.
Stress becomes negative when a person has continuous challenges without relaxation or relief.
It’s estimated that 75-90% of all doctor visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints.
So how can we stress less?
Brain scientists have discovered that both human and animal brains are hard-wired with pleasure centers.
These pathways have to be stimulated sufficiently by serotonin, dopamine and other neurotransmitters if the organism (us) are to function optimally.
Pleasurable activities, such as eating good food or having enjoyable sex, can actually reduce stress by inhibiting anxiety responses in the brain.
So if pleasure is so healthy…why are we denying ourselves pleasure?
Much of denial of women’s sexual pleasure is rooted in our fear of sexual energy.
When a woman especially opens up to the sexual pleasures of life, she gets labeled as “loose”, “irresponsible” and a “whore”. Wanting to be “good girls” instead, many of us women just focus on working hard….which zaps our pleasure!
It also makes us less orgasmic
Orgasms actually happen when certain pleasure pathways in the brain are turned on, and our defense pathways turned off.
When we deny our pleasure, we also deny a sacred part of us, the life force. Ancient Taoists masters called life force our “qi”.
When we are flowing with pleasure and desire, we are also flowing with qi.
To be immersed in this vital energy is healing and revitalizing.
Think of a garden that hasn’t had rainfall in a long time, it is dry and dying. When this same garden experiences a good rain, it blooms again and comes alive!
When we awaken our pleasure, we “water” our garden with life force.
We too become alive!
The right belief about women’s sexual pleasure
For years, I denied myself pleasure because I felt I had to be “worthy” of it.
I adhered to the strict religious dogma that made me feel that even touching myself was “bad” and “wrong”.
This all changed for me when I began to study the sacred sexual paths of Tantra and Taoism.
There I discovered that sexual pleasure is not only healing for my body but opens me up to spiritual evolution.
When I am in orgasmic bliss, life force rushes through me and I merge with the Divine.
It goes like this, if I know I can experience sublime pleasure in my body, then the standard for how I live my life too changes.
I no longer accept high “stress” levels as a normal part of my existence.
I no longer deny myself the opportunity to fully express my sensuality and sexuality.
It is my belief that pleasure is not secondary.
Pleasure is not frivolous. It is not extra. It is not dessert.
Pleasure is the main course.
The truth is, YOU are the number reason you need to stop denying yourself pleasure.
Your health, your well-being, and sexual vitality depend on it.
To truly live a satisfying life, you need to enjoy it.
Fatten yourself on pleasure, and you will malnourish pain.