Why Do I Get so Wet During Sex? – The Reason Behind Too Much Self-Lube

wet during sex
Jenna Hall
Written by Jenna Hall

Ooh, you’re making me wet! If you are currently soaking the sheets with your luscious juices perhaps you are thinking, “why do I get so wet during sex?” Is this normal?

In short, the answer is yes!

I can assure you that your lovely lady bits are perfectly fine. In fact, they are doing their job, and doing it well! Picture this: a slip and slide with no water? No thanks. You see, getting wet during sex is not only fundamental for sex, but also makes it way more fun!

That’s because Being “wet” reduces friction and makes penetration more comfortable. If you are still silently whispering under your tongue, “but, I get really wet during sex”. Seriously, don’t fret. Below, I will explain exactly why you get wet as well as why and how that range can vary tremendously.

too much cervical mucus

So let’s turn the juices on shall we?

It’s All About The Estrogen Baby

When you experience, wet sex, there is a lot going on below. And why is that exactly? Well, a fun little hormone caused estrogen is usually in charge of getting your juices flowing during arousal. Estrogen is a hormone that helps keep the tissues of your vagina lubricated and healthy.

So it makes sense that women who experience a drop in Estrogen, also experience a drop in lubrication.

As of now, if you find that your vagina is running over-the-top with juices, I can guarantee that you are not suffering from low estrogen. What affects estrogen levels? From diet to menstruation, to how old you are, all, in fact, affect your estrogen levels. To dig a little deeper, below are a few of the most common factors that will influence your estrogen levels.

  • Where you are in your menstrual cycle: strogen level rises suddenly halfway through the cycle, which triggers the release of an egg. This level then quickly decreases after ovulation
  • Life stage: In your 20s your estrogen is high as you get older, your estrogen dips.
  • Pregnancy: A woman will produce more estrogen during one pregnancy than throughout her entire life.
  • Menopause: Menopause causes a woman’s body to produce less estrogen.
  • Diet: Eating can raise or lower estrogen and testosterone levels.

Tantra Massage Techniques

So now that you know some science behind your love-juice, where does it all come from? I mean, are all fluids created equal? Well, yes and no. While it’s true that some discharge may have traces of lubrication, discharge is actually not the same as lubrication. Which leads me to my next point:

All Fluids Are Not Created Equal

Think of a vagina like a maze of juicy folds and rivers all leading to the center of the universe. Sounds pretty fun right? The vagina has mastered the art of producing different types of fluids that serve for different types of “activities”.

So what are they and why do they make for such wet sex? It’s a waterfall of fluids really, so let’s break them down one by one:

  • Vaginal Discharge made by glands inside the vagina and cervix. It carries away dead cells and bacteria.
  • Vaginal Discharge (Cervical Mucus) is fluid discharge from the cervix. The thickness and amount of cervical mucus changes throughout the menstrual cycle.
  • Vaginal Lubrication (Arousal Fluid) is produced by glands in and around the vagina to lubricate the vagina for the possibility of intercourse.

crying during sex

As mentioned above, each of these fluids serves a different purpose. Cervical mucus can often be used to track whether you are fertile or not. Cervical mucus often sticks around for a few days.

Arousal fluid, on the other hand, dissipates quickly (usually within 1 hour).

So, if you are not looking to get pregnant, you may want to learn how to check your cervical mucus. If it’s “sticky” go ahead and put sexy time on the backburner for a day or two. If you want to get pregnant, then it’s time to get busy.

Now that you are familiar with the different types of fluids, perhaps you are still scratching your head as to why you are getting so wet during sex. Well, the truth is there is no normal to the amount of “wet” you feel during sex. To clear up any confusion, let’s closer look:

Let The Blood Flow To Your Sapo (That’s Spanish for Vagina BTW)

It’s simple really when you are turned on, blood flow increases to the genitals so that the vulva and clitoris swell and the vagina lubricate itself. Pretty nifty right? Some of your arousal fluid actually comes from the bartholin and skene glands, along with a mixture of cervical mucus, vaginal fluid seeping in from the vaginal walls, and believe it or not sweat and oil glands!

During arousal, all these fun little fluids are turned on high-drive.

Depending the time of day, the time of the month, and obviously how horny you are, all affect how WET you are. So, to put it simply, whatever your level of wetness is perfectly normal! Taking all of that into account it is safe to say that the vagina is supposed to be pretty wet.

But if this wetness is causing you a “lack of feeling”, in other words, there is not enough friction between you and your partner, then you can try the following tips:

How to Make Self-Lube Work For You

If you find that you are super wet during sex, and finding that your male partner is “slipping out” psychologist Robin Salisbury suggests using a menstrual sea sponge to help absorb extra juices.

If that doesn’t do the trick try a non-lubricated condom. You can also experiment with different sex positions like doggy style (if your partner is male) making sure he enters you from behind with your legs squeezed together.

too much self lube

Alternatively, you can use the “wipe down” method, having a cloth readily available to wipe down access lubrication. Ultimately, your degree of wetness will depend on a variety of factors, so don’t let it get you down!

Let your sweet secretions flow. I am pretty sure your partner doesn’t mind at all.

Let The Frisky Rivers Flow

In conclusion, being wet is a good thing. If you are feeling self-conscious, try talking to your partner about incorporating a few of the tips listed above into your foreplay and sex life. However wet you are, remember this: you are normal. Phew.

Go ahead and take a deep breath now and let the river of your honey bits pour on!

About the author

Jenna Hall

Jenna Hall

Jenna discovered her passion for freelance writing in 2005 when she started a sex and relationship column for her university newspaper, The Tartan. The column eventually went viral, and shortly after she was recruited by Elle magazine to write as a Top Ten University Sex and Relationship Columnist for Ask E. Jean. In 2009, Jenna graduated from California State University, Dominguez Hills, earning a B.A in Communications with a concentration in Technical Writing and English. After graduation, she headed to Latin America to study to become a yoga teacher and was picked up by a Portland, Oregon-based activewear company to write for their blog on yoga, dating, and relationships. In 2014, Jenna permanently moved to South America, where she worked for one year at a local non-profit in Bolivia helping with fundraising and grant writing. She now writes and edits for several online publications on a variety of topics including health, relationships, travel, yoga, and fitness. She lives a simple life in Bolivia with her husband and son.