Masturbation is not dissimilar to meditation in that it is all about timing, inner tranquility, focus, and practice. Finding out about your inner self in whatever way you can is always a good thing. Giving the spiritual and the physical a chance to interconnect and interweave during masturbation is a practice you can take great joy in – simply have a spiritual masturbation!
Just as having sex with another person can help connect you with the divine, so can sex with yourself. However, for masturbation to be of maximum benefit, a certain amount of awareness is required. All it takes is practice.
There are many ways to masturbate, and I sincerely hope most of us are aware of several different methods by now. Anatomically, a woman has five commonly assumed erogenous parts of the body, and that’s just for starters.
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There are numerous implements for self-stimulation that can be tried for size and type both literally and figuratively speaking.
Preference Is a Personal Thing
Whether you are into using your fingers to massage your clit with organic coconut oil at bathtime, or sitting on top of a vibrating washing machine while using an all-singing, all-dancing gigantic rubber dildo, the choice is definitely yours. The issue is seldom how to get yourself off (though for some of us this can be a challenge in its own right) but how to get yourself off while consciously keeping the internal channels switched on that link your sexuality to your spirituality .
Many of my acquaintances — especially women — have complained that self pleasuring is boring, soulless, and results in them feeling a bit empty. Not to negate anyone’s feelings on the topic, but sex with yourself need never be dull.
Do you know how to focus on your inner self while masturbating?
You can also check Mariah’s podcast episode on this topic:
Unfortunately, the little we are told about masturbation when we are young is frequently negative and unhelpful, with unrealistic porn stories thrown in later for good measure. Combined with the overall complexity of sexual relationships and complicated cultural taboos, it is no wonder that many of us do not know how to focus on our inner selves spiritually, while we manually (or mechanically) get involved in a bit of auto-eroticism. Fortunately, as the whole process of masturbation is about pleasure, once you learn to pay deep attention to your inner self, your satisfaction and delight become heightened, right along with your horniness.
We are all different, so nobody can tell you exactly how to do yourself sexually — or spiritually; your physical anatomy and your soul are there for you to get to know intimately.
Here are a few things to think about and practise that might help you on your way to more spiritually fulfilling self stimulation sessions:
1. Get to Know Your Sexual Self Better
During masturbation, it is common to identify oneself with the recipient of the sexually stimulating sensations. On the other hand, some of us may be more connected to being the giver, while yet others might relate more to being an observer. To get to know your sexual self better, it helps to know where your mind takes you. There is no right or wrong about where your head goes, and there are as many floats as there are boats. Your fantasies, your imagination, your memories and whatever else you utilise at the time is up to you.
2. Being Aware of Your Mind
Being aware of where your head heads during a session opens the possibility to direct your thoughts to another part of your experience if you so choose. So, for example, if you are usually wrapped up in the sensations of being touched, let yourself feel, just for a minute, what it’s like to do the touching. If you happen to favor the observer in your scenario with yourself, try identifying with the observed.
Obviously, all the while, carry on “playing the clitar”, or whatever it is you are doing. If it all seems a bit weird, or a bit too much like hard work, or you lose your buzz for a moment, just pause for a while, remember to breathe deeply, and then carry on if and when you are ready. It is as simple as that.
Seeing yourself from outside of yourself, while remaining fully in yourself and being yourself is a way of connecting with your goddess within. You are simultaneously aware of being both the subject and the object of your existence.
The sum of the parts is greater than the parts, and all the parts are part of the true you. So this spiritual masturbation is not a divisive process, but a reuniting of essential elements, where you are actively and consciously exploring the different bits of your self and your sexually divine nature.
3. Enjoy the Orgasmic Journey During Your Spiritual Masturbation
If you have an orgasm, all the parts of you that are feeling, being felt, and observing, meet and connect and become one with that special energy that can send you into orbit. I, for one, am constantly amazed at how resonating and cosmic orgasms can be. However, all of this fun and connection and solo sexual-spiritual awareness can be just as enjoyable without climactic conclusions. As usual with things spiritual and sexual, it is about savouring the journey, and not an almighty race to the finish.
Once you become familiar with the different perspectives that are part of your masturbatory sexual identity, you may find you are able to hold the awareness of several of them at once. This takes a bit of practise, so if you’re unable to do this initially, don’t worry. If it is all too demanding (and it might be to start with) it is just as effective to flit back and forth between, for instance, the observer and observed, while continuing with your sexual activity for the moment.
By the way, Yoni Massage is another great practice for opening up to deeper and more spiritual orgasms.
4. Remember the Sexiness in You
Whatever you do or don’t do, always remember how awesome, fabulous and sexy you really are. Spiritual masturbation is a marvellous act of self love through which you display affection to your very self. You are made this way, and the gods and goddesses of human anatomy, sexual energy and spiritual connection certainly knew what they were doing! Whether you are masturbating to find comfort, to alleviate horniness, to help relaxation, or out of sheer curiosity, your sexuality is amazing, and was created for your pleasure. All you have to do is feed it, nurture it and relish it.
As with all practices, it helps to keep practising. Don’t give up if these suggestions don’t work the first or second time. It took me a good few goes to get the hang of experiencing myself from different perspectives while liberating my vaginal juices. Now it has become an easily practised, life affirming, spiritually connecting delight.
That said, don’t struggle; life is already challenging enough. Remember, no one is judging you, so you can do what you want, however you want, and — as long as it isn’t in the middle of the fresh vegetable aisle in the supermarket whenever you want. If the setting is right and you are reasonably relaxed, just see what happens. Remember, you are here to enjoy yourself fully, sexually and spiritually, so keep those goddesses and gods of sex and spirit and joie de vie smiling