Did you ever come across the so-called prostate massage? Have you ever had the feeling that there are different types of orgasms in a male body? Or have you as a woman ever heard about giving a prostate massage to let your partner experience deeper full-body orgasms without ejaculation?
If so, you’ve come to the right article to learn more about prostate stimulation, prostate massage, or prostate milking.
What Is a Prostate Massage?
We can define prostate massage as any form of stimulation directed to the prostate gland in a male body, be it for health or erotic reasons.
Table of Contents
- What Is a Prostate Massage?
- The Basics: What Exactly Is the Prostate?
- What Does “Milking the Prostate” Mean?
- Is Prostate Massage Done for Health Reasons?
- It’s Not All about Stress Release – There Is More to Explore in the Bedroom
- How to do it – The Different Types of Prostate Massages
- 1. External Prostate Massage
- 2. Direct Prostate Gland Stimulation
- 3. Non-physical Stimulation of the Prostate Gland
- Rounding Up: Is Prostate Massage for Me?
The Basics: What Exactly Is the Prostate?
It´s a gland that serves one main purpose: generating a lubrication liquid that will help to preserve the sperm and boost its mobility if ejaculation occurs.
The prostate is located to either side of the urethra, just below the bladder, and in front of the rectum. It has that strategic location at the beginning of your urethra so it can distribute its lubrication liquid all along the length of your penis at the moment of ejaculation.
Let’s highlight that the prostate does not store sperm.
The prostate liquid is completely translucid, and it’s sort of an additive to the seminal mix that is expelled through ejaculation.
When you ejaculate, both your seminal vesicles and your prostate experience contractions that pressurize the respective liquids inside them. Sperm is shot out of the vesicles, and lubrication is shot out of the prostate gland, just a few fractions of seconds before sperm is released. Kind of to make way for the whole ejaculation fluid that will combine and shoot out through your urethra.
What Does “Milking the Prostate” Mean?
That’s why the term prostate milking is actually misguiding: most practices of prostate massage aim to trigger contractions of the gland, but since men are so used to link the contractions of the prostate with the ejaculatory process, most of the time their seminal vesicles will also be triggered to expel its sperm mix.
The term “milking the prostate” comes from the white color that the ejaculatory fluid obtained through this kind of prostate stimulation. An authentic “draining” of the prostate gland, though, should result in a 100% transparent liquid, since it’s only sperm from the seminal vesicles that’s responsible for a white color in any expelled fluids.
Is Prostate Massage Done for Health Reasons?
Some medical doctors and alternative practitioners alike suggest that prostate massage is a good idea to treat inflammation in the gland, especially when it’s caused by non-bacterial factors. Swelling of the prostate, also known as prostatitis, can be caused by infections, nerve damage, and abnormal behavior of the cells associated with emotional, genetic and sexual-activity or sexual-abstinence factors.
The theory behind the health benefits of a prostate massage is that by producing contractions that stimulate the deep tissue of the gland, and draining any stale liquid that may have been stored inside one of its creases, the inflammation of the whole prostate can be stopped, and – over a few sessions of massage with the right technique – completely stopped.
Prostate Massage for Erotic Reasons – Why Everybody Should Try It!
Many men, particularly straight men who had never experienced any form of perineal or rectal stimulation, find that the practice of prostate massage offers them an entrance to a much deeper and more intense dimension of sexual pleasure.
The reason behind this is that our culture trains men to discover pleasure in a very shallow way, very often quite dependent on porn, too. Hard, fast and furious stroking of the penis leads to a superficial experience of orgasm.
It’s Not All about Stress Release – There Is More to Explore in the Bedroom
If you think about it, most men talk about masturbation as a means to release stress, rather than to explore different ways of enhancing their capacity for pleasure. Prostate massage thus represents a door to breaking the pattern of shallow, quick orgasms, and incorporate new, whole-body sensations to the map of pleasure possibilities in your body.
The value of erotic prostate massage is that you learn to interpret different forms of pleasure.
Those involve different nerves of your body and take the focus away from the traditional penis-only stimulation.
How to do it – The Different Types of Prostate Massages
There are three different ways in which you can practice prostate stimulation. Each of them has different perks and also different challenges, so it’s good to have a clear overview of what they offer and under which scenarios they may be the best option for you to explore.
1. External Prostate Massage
This form of prostate stimulation is a great way to introduce yourself to the art of consciously involving your prostate gland in the experience of pleasure.
It doesn’t involve introducing a finger or a toy into your rectum, so while it might not provide the intensity in sensations that is offered by the direct stimulation of the prostate, it’s also gentler when you have been used to a single form of erotic stimulation for so many years.
How to Start the External Prostate Massage
It consists of applying pressure to different points of your perineum, the area of skin and muscular tissue between your testicles and your anus, as well as the area above your pubic bone. Both areas are in contact with internal tissue that will indirectly stimulate your prostate gland, and thus expand your erotic sensibility from just the shaft of your penis to your whole complex of inner sex organs.
Although you can do a relaxing massage without any further goals, an erotic component to it will add more depth the experience. Combining prostate stimulation with stroking the penis can be a good form to enhance the sensations for this external variety of the massage.
The pressure you apply to your perineum or just above your pubic bone can take the form of circle massaging, rubbing back and forth, or even just pinpointing specific areas that feel good to you as you press.
You may want to practice the external prostate massage while you’re lying on your bed, either on your back or your side, keeping your legs flexed towards your butt, since it’s the position that allows a better relaxation of the pelvic area, and it also gives you space to work around your perineum.
Take Your Time to Find the Spot & Get Used to the New Sensation
The amount of pressure and the speed of your movements can vary according to your personal preferences, so you have to be patient and keep an open mind while you experiment and get used to all the new, different sensations…
It may take a while until you identify just the kind movements that you enjoy the most.
Expanding your awareness of pleasure to the inner regions of your penis will not only increase the intensity of your orgasms but also its duration since activating the nerve endings that surround the prostate will make the natural contractions of the gland go on for longer.
Health-wise, some of the potential benefits of increasing the strength and frequency of prostate stimulation can also be obtained through this indirect form of massage, but the more advanced practitioners of prostate stimulation still recommend the direct stimulation of the gland to see clearer effects in the treatment of prostatitis.
2. Direct Prostate Gland Stimulation
The position of the prostate gland makes it quite easy to be reached by applying pressure with a finger or a sex toy to the inner front wall of the rectum, about 2 to 3 inches from the entrance.
A direct stimulation of the gland allows a more thorough relaxation of the tissue through the massaging motion, so for those health professionals who prescribe this practice as a remedy against prostatitis, the inner prostate stimulation through the rectum is the recommended choice.
In terms of erotic exploration, the direct massage to the prostate also offers one main advantage: the unprecedented nature of the sensations that may be discovered through the practice, which can offer a fresh perspective into expanding your horizons of sensual pleasure.
How to Massage the Prostate Directly
If you want to give yourself a prostate massage, the best time for it would be during a time of the day where your bowels are empty, so you feel more relaxed and have no worries about mixed sensations while exploring the inside of your rectum.
If you want, you can take a bath or a shower just before you start the practice, since you’ll feel the whole area is cleaner, and the hot water will also help to relax your whole body.
It’s important to note, however, that fecal matter is never stored in your rectum: it only passes through that last portion of your intestines at the moment your sphincter opens to relieve yourself. The sphincter itself, though, is located more than 4 inches inside the bowel, so there is no risk of accidentally “digging up” something you don’t want to be handling.
The whole area, though, does have feces residues, so if you are very conscious about that, you can always choose to put on a latex glove to perform the massage.
We suggest that you try the massage lying on your bed, in a position that allows you to have your legs as flexed as it’s comfortable for you. This will help you keep maintain both your pelvic floor and your rectum much more relaxed, which is key to activating sensitivity in the area.
Try It with Your Partner
If you’re in a relationship where you trust your partner and you feel comfortable asking them to try the massage together, then manual stimulation is surely the best way to start, since fingers allow for a much more precise stimulation of different parts of the prostate.
If you’re going to try the massage on your own, the best position will probably be lying on your side on the bed, with your knees flexed towards your chest. Even in this position, however, you may find that it’s not so easy for your fingers to reach 2 to 3 inches inside your rectum.
If that’s the case, you may want to buy a prostate stimulator to make the whole experience effortless. We’ll give you a few tips on selecting the best sex toy for this purpose in the next section.
Ease Your Way to Internal Stimulation
Once you’ve found the position in which you feel the most comfortable, start by doing a gentle massage of the whole perineal region, and then slowly start moving towards your anus. Make sure to spend at least 5 minutes relaxing the muscles that surround the anal area, because otherwise, the entrance to your rectum will feel uncomfortable to touch.
You will have to be very patient, anyway, since all sensations will be new and there might be some feelings of uneasiness as you discover the most pleasurable way to stimulate your prostate. If you’re trying the massage with a partner, a lot of feedback during the whole process will make all the difference in the world.
Make sure to have a lubricant at hand, and to use it generously. Coconut oil doubles as a good massage lubricant for the external muscles of the perineum, and the inner stimulation of the prostate. If you prefer a factory-made alternative, you can find anal lubricant in every sex shop.
To enter the rectum with your finger, you can start by a circular massage to open the anal orifice very gently. We recommend using your index finger because it’s the one that will give you more accuracy finding the right angle to stimulate the prostate from inside.
You need to insert it with the palm of your hand towards your testicles, not towards your butt since you’ll have to press your finger towards the front of your rectum in order to reach the prostate.
How to Know When You Found the Prostate
Slide your finger very slowly, and take deep and conscious breaths the whole time, to keep your body relaxed and receptive to the experience. You´ll probably need to slide your finger into the second knuckle or a little bit deeper. You can do circular motions in different directions, to look for the right spot to reach your prostate.
You’ll know that you´ve found it because the sensation will be different.
Not pleasurable from the start, perhaps, but clearly different than touching the rest of the area. Keep in mind that you won’t exactly touch the prostate: you’ll rather be using the pressure against the rectal wall to transmit the stimulation to the prostate gland.
Surf New Levels of Pleasure
Don’t place any expectations on the massage the first time. Orgasm will be great when it happens, but don’t be in a rush to get to that finish line.
The most valuable part of an inner prostate massage is that you’ll amplify your erotic arsenal to sensations that are completely independent of your penis. At first, you might not recognize that you’re walking into different realms of pleasure, but if you are consistent with the stimulation you’ll start to notice some signs of sexual energy building up.
The first one might be some contractions in different areas surrounding the spot of the massage. You may also experience a warm sensation in your whole pelvic area, or a sense of “being full” in your lower abdomen. Play along with the sensations and allow yourself to enjoy them.
Do You Feel like You Need to Pee?
If you feel like you need to pee at any moment, you can stop and see if you actually have a full bladder. If the urge to go disappears when your finger is at rest, then most likely you don’t really need to pee… it’s just the sensation of your engorged prostate applying some pressure to your urethra and your bladder.
As long as you stay relaxed and enjoy the building up of pressure and muscle movements, a new and deeper kind of orgasm will surprise you sooner or later. It might not happen on the very first session because different men have different prostatic sensibility, but if you keep on trying and enjoying the practice, you’ll catch up with this reward of a new version of climax for sure.
Use a Prostate Massager
If you’re experiencing prostate stimulation on your own, and you don’t feel comfortable enough reaching in with your index finger, then you should definitely explore using a prostate massager.
One of the most recommended brands are Lelo and Aneros, and our advice is to go for one of the smaller, simpler models. Anything with a vibrator might be effective to speed up the journey towards the climax, but it’s better if you start with a non-vibrating device to be able to identify the subtler sensations that surround prostate stimulation.
Otherwise, you may find yourself completely dependent on the power of electric vibration to enjoy any form of prostate massage.
3. Non-physical Stimulation of the Prostate Gland
The last form of prostate stimulation is the one we advise the most to take up as a regular practice. You can activate intense contractions of the prostate gland if you master the ability to have deeper, whole-body orgasms that do not involve ejaculation.
These kind of orgasms are possible when you learn to circulate your sexual energy beyond your pelvic area, while your penis continues to be stimulated (via a handjob, blowjob, or regular intercourse).
In Tantric sex, this is a highly encouraged practice, as the ability to reach climax without the need to ejaculate allows you to save a lot of vital energy. And by saving up the energy that you would normally lose by ejaculating, you can boost your health, your capacity to experience pleasure, and even your sex skills as you learn to develop a more perceptive personality as a lover.
All the benefits you can get from direct or indirect prostate massage can also be obtained through this third option of non-ejaculatory orgasms. However, in order to develop the awareness of your inner flow of sexual energy, direct or indirect prostate massage can actually be a really helpful experience.
Is Prostate Massage Connected to Tantra?
A lot of the men who happened to learn Tantra or train themselves in the Tantric arts to experience whole-body, non-ejaculatory orgasms, have a really hard time at first taking the focus of pleasure off from the penis to extend it to the rest of the body. So it’s no surprise that some of them are convinced that giving prostate massage a try was the turning point to develop their ability to experience inner, deeper, non-ejaculatory orgasms.
Some men are lucky enough to experience a non-ejaculatory orgasm the very first time they try prostate massage. Most guys, however, will find that the intensity of a prostate massage will also trigger a regular ejaculation (perhaps with a more abundant emission of semen, and of course with deeper and more powerful sensations in different parts of the body, but still, all linked to same plain old ejaculation).
Take it Easy!
There is of course nothing wrong with a mind-blowing ejaculatory orgasm, just as there’s nothing wrong if you’re one of the lucky few to get to “dry” climaxes through prostate stimulation. But, in the long term, both practices are a little taxing on your body. The first one because of a large amount of vital energy that is drained from the body through ejaculation; the second, because of the irritation that can be caused in the rectal walls if you practice prostate massage too regularly, especially if you discover you enjoy really long sessions.
If You Want to Learn More
That’s why, if you are delighted with the enhanced experiences of orgasm that you achieved thanks to prostate stimulation, we can’t recommend enough that you also have a try at exploring the art of Tantra for men. We have an amazing course just on that subject, with world-class expert Eyal Matsliah, in case you want to go deeper.
Rounding Up: Is Prostate Massage for Me?
The decision to open up to the experience of prostate stimulation is a very personal one, of course, but from our perspective, it is something every man should be willing to consider for the sake of their ultimate erotic fulfillment.
In addition to the health benefits that are associated with it, so many folks have found that it is one of the most fun variations they can add to their sexual repertoire, either by themselves or with a partner.
The practice, if performed safely and in a moderated frequency, is completely safe, and it, of course, has nothing to do with sexual orientation as both heterosexual and homosexual men report that it has enhanced their sex lives next to either a female or male partner.
So don’t let any resistance get in the way of your discovery of new sexual sensations.
After all, we’ve shown you that you have three very different options to incorporate prostate sensitivity into your erotic possibilities and skills.
So just give the inner or outer prostate massage a try, and if you feel that’s not your calling, you can always explore the benefits of prostate stimulation, both for therapy and pleasure purposes, via the more subtle way of cultivating Tantric skills to revolutionize your whole potential as a lover.