No More Double Standards: A Love Letter to Naked Men

naked men
Written by Esther Gabriel

The double standards we have about nudity seem to be deeply anchored in our minds. I don’t know about you but I am pretty sure no one has ever told me the naked male body is something bad or pornographic and therefore vulgar.

No one has ever told me otherwise either.

Still, until my late twenties, I hardly looked at male nudity. During sex the lights were usually off. Most of the time my eyes were closed. I may have looked at my lover’s arms, belly or legs, but deliberately observing his penis I tried to avoid at all costs. To me looking at ‘that thing’ was somehow forbidden, intimidating and not lady-like.

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After I’d secretly watched porn I always felt ashamed for getting turned on by seeing the performer’s penis and other body parts. Not once did I ever wonder why that is… To me as a woman feeling bad about getting horny from watching naked men was completely normal.

The female body we all love

We consider it beautiful, sensual, erotic, desirable and relish the female shapes, her round curves, her soft skin. We are used to looking at and depicting women in this fashion, to sexualize and objectify her all the time. It happens in movies, TV series, commercials, advertisements, magazines, you name it.

Sex sells and the female body has proved to serve this cause very well. We feel it is perfectly normal to enjoy female nudity, so that’s we do, every chance we get. With ‘we’ I mean both men and women, by the way.

It is sexy and cool for women to like women, right?

What about the male body?

The naked man we usually describe differently: athletic, muscular, fit, strong. We don’t use words such as beautiful, sensual, erotic or desirable. The ideal male body is depicted as something that has power and strength. At the same time, though, we take that power away from it, for freely and openly enjoying male nakedness is not something our culture seems to approve of, let alone propagate.

Women who forthright appreciate male nudity are labeled sluts. Hetero-, bi-sexual or sexually fluid men who are ‘brave’ enough to convey they do too, must be gay. Showing off their bodies the way women do, is considered gay as well.

Male genitals do not by far have the same titillating status or visual acceptance as the vulva: a dick is labeled weird, vulgar, pornographic, aggressive or even a necessary evil for procreation only. We don’t sexualize the male body and we most certainly do not objectify it. In short: adoring the male body, looking at it and thinking it desirable must be wrong.

Obviously, in the years that followed, I made good for my male nude deficiency. The complete male body has become very erotic and sexy to me, and yes, also very sensual and beautiful.

You think only women have curves? Look again.

Look at his round ass, his bone structure, his shoulders, how he moves, the veins on his arms, the super hot abdominal V line, the soft hairs on his belly, his penis, flaccid or aroused. I could go on for ever… We let ourselves be convinced that women are not visual.

Well, let me assure you, women are very, very visual indeed!

By literally opening my eyes, by consciously noticing and not feeling ashamed anymore about desiring the male body, sex has gotten a whole lot more exciting and liberating. Apart from this huge benefit it is only fair that we ladies candidly make the naked men the subject (not object!) of our desire without being called

naked men

If men can express their love for breasts and pussies without anyone judging them, women should be able to say the same about cocks and asses, right?

No man, no matter what his sexual orientation is, should feel hesitant to compliment and enjoy the male nude. He should not have to think twice about maybe losing his job or the respect of his friends if he likes to make pictures of his body.

He should be able to look at himself in the mirror, see how wonderfully sexy his masculine shapes are and feel flattered by all the positive attention he is worth receiving!

So how can we help men feeling more confident in the nude and loving their bodies?

We know how good it feels when our lover looks at us and tells us how gorgeous our bodies are, how much our breasts, our long legs, our asses, our pussies turn him on.

Why not return the favor and compliment men the way they have been complimenting us girls for centuries on end?

  • Tell him what you like about his body, which body parts in particular blow your mind
  • When he is not naked yet, undress him
  • Touch him everywhere
  • Really feel him intensely
  • Take in his scent
  • Lick his body
  • Include his penis, have a good look at it and see how it changes when you give it your undivided attention
  • Look at him and show him how much you enjoy caressing, smelling and kissing his body
  • Take your time while you do this

Another way for him to get more comfortable with his nudity is to photograph him. You can do this in everyday situations. Maybe when he has just come out of the shower, his body still moist with just a towel around his hips – or better yet without the towel… Or while he is sleeping or simply lying on the couch. Organise a photo shooting session, indoor or outdoor, make pictures during sex. You can swap the camera, have lots of sexy fun and enjoy the results later on.


Or while he is sleeping or simply lying on the couch. Organise a photo shooting session, indoor or outdoor, make pictures during sex. You can swap the camera, have lots of sexy fun and enjoy the results later on.

These are easy ways to help men understand that they are covetable and that women are visual beings just like they are.

Sexually subjectivizing men is in my opinion the first real step toward gender equality. Hence my motto: more naked men make the world a better place – for all of us. It is about time that we free the male nude of its taboos once and for all and see it for what is truly is: just as gorgeous, sexy, hot, beautiful and enticing as the female body!


About the author

Esther Gabriel

Esther studied Social Work in the Netherlands and acted as an advisor in the field of the Dutch Exceptional Medical Expenses Act until she moved to Austria in 2005. In Vienna she worked in a sex shop specialized in erotic lifestyle products for women. Since January 2016 she is the Relations Manager of Lazeeva.
In her spare time Esther has been busy freeing the male body of its taboos on Naked Men Happy Women for over 8 years.

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