Our labia tend to get a bit of a rough deal. We constantly worry about how they look and compare them to other women we see in photos or in films.
And, when it comes to playtime they barely get a look in.
If they are lucky, they will get a very short stroke as they spread apart and then, they are pretty much forgotten. For most of us, our labia play the supporting actress in our sex lives while the clitoris and the g-spot get the starring roles. But, not any longer.
The new year is about self-care and I’m starting with labia massage.
The thing is, our labia are actually full of nerve endings and are connected to the same neural system that lets you feel pleasure throughout your entire pelvic area.
Plus, increased blood flow to the labia means increased blood flow to the whole genitalia. This increase results in everywhere else being more sensitive and receptive to sensation too. Plus, getting to know our bodies has so many benefits.
According to research scientist Debby Herbenick, the more positive view we have of our genitals, the more likely we are to experience pleasure, the more likely we are to orgasm and the more likely we are to be experimental in bed.
Um, it’s a yes from me to all three. Hello, labia massage!
Here’s what you need before you get massaging
- A warm, private space with no risk of interruptions. Hey, there is no shame in some self-love but some things are just way better when you do them alone.
- Feel free to light some candles and play music if you want to really set the scene and get you in the right mood.
- A comfy bed or couch to lie on. You want to be as comfortable and as relaxed as possible.
- A pillow to lift up your booty and get that pussy perfectly placed for action.
- A towel, there will be natural lubrication happening and there will be a lot of it.
You can use a high-quality water-based lubricant – the fewer chemicals the better of course.
Or, you can use your favorite oil so long as it is safe for internal use. Although we are focusing on the vulva, it’s likely that there will be some liquid heading for your vagina too, so its best to be safe!
And most importantly, yourself!
Being freshly showered, warm, relaxed and happy will definitely help with the process too.
And, if that doesn’t cut it, check out this full run-down of how to get yourself ready for some self-love here.
Put Your Phones on Flight Mode Ladies, It’s Massage Time
Keep in mind while you rub, that the outcome here isn’t necessarily orgasm.
If you do reach it, awesome! And if you don’t, also awesome!! Orgasm isn’t the be-all and end-all of female pleasure.
I’m Lubing on Up
Sufficient slipperiness is essential for a good massage. Don’t just squeeze it messily out of the bottle though!
Applying the lubricant or oil is all part of the experience.
Apply it generously over the hands and vulva and make sure you fully coat the labia majora and the labia minora. Ensure that you don’t go overboard with this though as it may actually reduce sensation if there is too much. Apply it slowly until you find that sweet spot!
Pussy Patting – Meow!
Now, let’s wake the girl up a bit.
Start by lightly tapping all over the external vulva area, including your vaginal mound. This should help to sensitise the area and get those nerve endings fired up. Try out tapping with a different heaviness of the fingers. Find out how you like it best. Soft, firm, or a bit of both.
That slipperiness will really come in handy for Pussy Petting.
Make sure your hands are completely coated and slide your full hand from the top of the pubic mound all the way down to the perineum, and then repeat with the other hand.
Repeat till you purr.
Cup the vulva with your hand, apply a light amount of pressure and gently move your hand slightly around in circles. This will inadvertently stimulate the clitoris too. They are all connected after all!
Skin Rolling is about really waking up the nerve endings.
Grab the skin lightly and roll it between your fingers. You can perform this on both the labia majora and the labia minora. Try utilizing different pressures to see how they feel for you.
Move your index fingers up and down the labia with long slow strokes. Go from the top of the clitoris down to the bottom of the perineum and back up again.
You can use two fingers at one or alternate your fingers one at a time to really tease the skin.
Pinch & Pull
This moves requires a super light snapping of the skin with your fingers. Make sure it is always a gliding movement not an actual snap though… Ouch.
Lightly pull the skin up and let it go again. We are after large flowing motions here folks.
Use the fronts of your index fingers to rest against the labia on either side of the clitoris. Apply pressure and lightly move the fingers up and down. This will apply pressure to the clitoris and you guessed it! Feel freaking amazing.
Tour De France
Use one hand to lightly push the pubic mound up towards the belly to open up the vulva. With the other hand, trace a circle between the inner and outer labia from the perineum to the clitoris. You can up the ante with a clitoris loop too.
Breath of Spring
Lastly, the Breath of Spring. Gently part the labia and blow air on it. That’s it. Simple, yet effective. There is no set order for the perfect labia massage, and how many times you repeat each technique is up to you. Pleasure is personal and if you like something, you can keep doing it.
And, if something doesn’t feel good, don’t do it. Easy.
There are also no rules for how long this massage should last in total. It’s all about listening to your own body and going for as long as you are comfortable with. It might last for 10 minutes or it might last for 2 hours.
I tend to take a lot of time to fully relax my body and get into the groove, so ten minutes for me would only be the warmup! This is all about relaxing, exploring and keeping our nerve endings feeling electric. Let’s learn to love and appreciate our labia and make our vulvas feel as special and as necessary as our other favorite body parts.
Feeling inspired? Check out how to do a full yoni massage here and take your self-care to the next level.