Let’s Play: How to Use a Dildo for Ecstatic Orgasms

how to use a dildo
Molly Lazarus
Written by Molly Lazarus

Sex toys are mysterious things that come with uncertainty and theoretical questions.

You may wonder whether using a dildo could ever compare to sex with a real human partner. I know I did!

Sex with a dildo is a very different experience than the real deal, but can be fulfilling in its own way if you know how to use it properly.

orgasm using dildo

And if you’re partnered up with someone, you can get creative and use it with them too. What a great way to expand your sexual menu! This article is all about how to use a dildo, with or without a partner. Woot!

What You’ll Need to Get Down With Your Dildo

The Dildo of Your Choice

No two dildos are made alike!

Okay, that’s definitely not true, but you should still be picky about what you choose to put inside your body. You’ll want to pick an inviting toy you can’t wait to get your hands (and other bits) on. More about how to choose the right dildo later!

Your Favorite Brand of Lube

Using a dildo without lube can make for a terrible, uncomfortable, or even harmful experience. Don’t do it, friend! Prepare for playtime by bringing your favorite lube along for the ride.

You should choose your lube based on the material your dildo is made of and what you want to use it for. More on that later too!

Condoms, If You Choose to Use Them with Your Toy

“Why use condoms with a toy?” you might be asking. Ah, but you never know what kind of crazy adventures you and your dildo may get into! There are a few cases where you might end up needing one or several.

Have a pack of jimmy hats on hand.

Candles, Music, and Anything Else to Set the Right Mood

Hell yeah, it sounds cheesy, but you deserve it!

dildo masturbation

It’s hard to get turned on without the right vibe, so you’ll want to design your sexual setting for maximum enjoyment.

Porn or Erotica, If You Choose to Fantasize

Some of us like to fantasize while we come, while others don’t. Different strokes for different folks! If you fall into the first camp, be sure to come equipped with whatever sexual fiction you’re into these days.

Any Other Toys You’d like to Play with Simultaneously

There’s no reason to limit your good time. Prepare a sex-toy salad if you’re in a bold mood! You and/or your partner might want to use your dildo with butt plugs, cock rings, vibrators, or other tools.

I recommend busting out your whole bag of tricks.

How to Use Your Dildo

Start by Picking the Right One for You.

The dildo you choose will have a massive impact on the quality of your experience. You don’t want to end up with one that could end up turning you off for any reason, as that’d be wholly counterproductive.

You need a dildo with an inviting aura. One that speaks to you… (not literally). The sheer amount of available choices can be overwhelming.

Here Are Some Specifics to Consider While You’re Shopping:

Size

Lordy lord, so many varieties to choose from! How much length are you looking for? Perhaps you’re seeking one that’s bigger or smaller than most, but the majority of dildos seem to clock in at around 6-8 inches. There are also those specifically designed to have a wider girth.

Color

This may sound trivial, but it’s anything but! The color of your dildo will affect how your mind feels about it and your mood while it’s inside you.

Some people prefer flesh-colored toys for a more realistic bang.

Or perhaps you’d like a sleek, jet-black model instead. (Psst, all you sexy unicorns out there. There are even rainbow dildos made just for magical creatures like you!)

Shape

Do you like your cocks curved? Or perhaps shaped like a tentacle, a gun, or a bunch of grapes? You never know what you’ll find out here in Internet Land. You can even buy a kit and mold your own dildo in the exact shape of your partner!

Material

So many considerations at stake here! The material of your dildo will determine how it feels inside you.

Silicone is a popular option, but be advised that you won’t be able to use it with silicone lube. If you’re seeking something truly firm, you could also go with glass or even stainless steel.

Texture

There are toys out there that feel nothing like a real cock, if that’s what you’re going for. Some are made to feel silky smooth. Others come ribbed, beaded, or spiked!

Choose your level of exhilaration!

Function

In today’s world of lightspeed technology, you never know what they’ll think of next. Dildos with specific functions can completely modify your experience.

dildo masturbation

Some Popular Choices Are:

  • Vibrators
  • Strap-ons
    • Strapless strap-ons, for women who like pegging while having something inside them.
    • It’s wise to read up on this before you buy, however. Some people out there really aren’t fans.
  • Rabbits, for clitoral stimulation
  • Made for the G-spot
  • Made for anal play
  • Suction cup dildos that you can attach all around the house
  • Inflatable dildos to help you slowly and comfortably stretch your orifice of focus.
  • Dildos designed for double penetration

The possibilities are endless!

Inspect and Clean Your Dildo Well after Purchase.

You REALLY don’t to run into any surprises here. There’s always the possibility of your dildo getting damaged during shipping.

Run your hands over the toy and check for chips, cracks, and other imperfections that could damage your ass or hoohah.

If all is well, go ahead and clean your dildo for the first time BEFORE using it.

Don’t skip this step. You never know where that thing was on its way to your hands!

Decide Whether or Not to Use Condoms with Your Dildo.

If you’re planning to use your dildo on multiple people, you might want to wrap it up while you’re having fun. Using condoms with your dildo can help protect everyone’s sexual health.

Find a Great Lube That’s Compatible with Your Toy and Sexual Activities.

Remember: silicone and silicone don’t mix.

Using condoms that come covered in silicone lube on a silicone toy will ruin it. A major bummer and complete waste! If you’ve got a silicone dildo, go for non-lubricated condoms or ones that use water-based lube.

Water-based lubes are the safest bet when using toys of various materials, but they don’t tend to last as long as silicone or oil-based lubes, which can be less than idea if you plan to do anal play.

Do a bit of research on which lubes will be right for your specific gear.

Choose Your Venue and Set the Mood.

There are truly brave, pioneering folk out in this crazy world who like to carry their sex toys with them and use them in the car, at work, or elsewhere. I am not here to judge!

Choose a setting of your liking so you can get down in comfort!

If you’re like most of us though, you’ll probably be at home while using your dildo for the first time.

dildo oh la la

Pimp your room of choice out in a way that’ll make you feel as relaxed and horny as possible. Are you the candles-and-aromatherapy type, a death-metal masturbator, or both? Do what you’ve gotta do to inspire positive vibes.

Cue up Your Media.

If you like to masturbate to porn, erotica, or even sexy homemade videos, go on and get those materials accessible and ready for use when the moment comes.

Also, have some towels or wipes on hand for when things get messy.

Warm up by Turning Yourself On.

You should be all set and ready to dive in. This is where the fun starts!

Do what you can to relax and start thinking sexy thoughts to get your butter churning. Cover your dildo and genitals with lube and begin lightly using it to stimulate your erogenous zones.

Tease yourself by dipping the tip of your dildo in and out of your pussy or ass a few times to test how it feels. Do this slowly and with conscious intention so you can feel fully present for the experience. There’s no need to rush!

Start Slow.

Masturbation is all about the crescendo. I love to take my time and enjoy a slow build. Even if you are the speedy type and are just looking to bang out a quickie, it’s wise to take your time with your dildo the first time you use it.

There’s no telling how it’ll feel inside you. Going slowly will give your muscles a chance to adapt to its shape.

Experiment.

There are many different things to try with your dildo, so think outside the box and get to exploring!

dildo orgasm

Positions

You can use your dildo while lying down, on all fours, or even against the wall or squatting if you have a suction-cup toy. Move around and discover solo positions you love.

Places Inside You

If you’re a woman you can use your dildo against your G-spot, your A-spot, on or around your clit, and more.

If you’re a guy, enjoy using your dildo to poke at your prostate. You can also open your mouth and use your dildo to refine your fellatio-giving skills.

Techniques

With so many ways to fuck yourself, you’ll never get bored!

Try hard thrusts with your dildo or light, shallow thrusts. You could try moving your dildo in an up-and-down motion over your vulva, moving it in a circle while it’s inside you, and whatever else might feel good.

Complementary Toys

You can use other toys from your collection while using your dildo, such as nipple clamps, butt plugs, external vibrators, blindfolds, and more.

Pull out your bag of tricks and give them a try simultaneously.

For Bonus Fun, Use Your Dildo with a Partner.

There are a ton of spicy ways to incorporate dildo play into sexytimes with a partner.

Here Are Some Ideas to Get Your Brain Going:

Put on a Show.

If you’re anything like my perverted ass, you’re way down with watching others masturbate.

Give your partner the gift of using your dildo to bring yourself to completion in front of them. This can be a great way to help teach them how you like to be touched.

Try Double Penetration.

If your partner has a dick, you can use your dildo to experience what it’s like to have two holes filled at the same time. This can be especially fun with a vibrator, as your partner will also be able to enjoy the sensation while they’re inside you.

Use It for Anal Play.

Pegging with a strap-on can be a ton of fun. If all goes well, your partner will come back on their hands and knees begging for more!

If you decide to dive into anal play with your toy, be sure to follow the proper procedures for a pain-free experience.

Use It for Oral Play.

There’s nothing quite like being penetrated while you’re getting head.

Use your dildo to fill your partner’s pussy or anus while you go down on them, or ask them to do this for you. You’re not likely to be disappointed!

Don’t Forget the Post-fun Clean Up!

Don’t forget to properly clean and store your sex toys after use. You don’t want them to get all gnarly or ruined due to improper upkeep.

The unending options of the dildo realm may seem overwhelming, but don’t be intimidated! Take your time to enjoy and you may end up learning new things about your awesome body. (And hopefully coming like crazy too, of course.)

Happy shlicking and fapping, friends!

About the author

Molly Lazarus

Molly Lazarus

Molly Lazarus is a freelance writer and sex educator specializing in BDSM and other pursuits of pleasure. She grew up in San Francisco, but has spent the last 10 years living in Osaka, Japan, where she organized a monthly BDSM munch, leads D/s community discussion groups, and mentors adventurous explorers as they wade into the exciting world of kink. Molly believes it's everyone's right to freely explore their sexuality in ways that are enjoyable, consensual, and safe for all involved.