While our vaginas may resemble a sensual flower painted by Georgia O’Keeffe, they certainly don’t always smell like one. With smell comes the taste, and even though your unique pussy flavor may never taste like raspberry strudel, it certainly should never taste foul.
At the end of the day what woman wants a stinky vag? Not me.
If you are bothered by the aroma and flavor of your lady parts and are looking for ways on how to make your vagina taste good, I have your back. Or should I say your front? I like having a good-tasting pussy and I want you to have one as well, so I have put together the following pro-tips and tricks. Below you will find the perfect recipe for a tasty vagina.
Make Your Bits Taste Delicious: Things to Consider Before Getting Started
Remember that most vaginas will always have some type of aroma. According to Deborah Bateson, a Clinical Associate Professor at the University of Sydney in the discipline of Obstetrics states that “Healthy vaginal discharge has a characteristic smell.”
So while I will reveal some expert tips on how to make your vagina smell and taste great, remember that every vagina is flavored in its own special way. In other words, full disclosure: your flowerpot will never really smell like flowers. Unless of course, you spray it with perfume, but I will explain later why that is a very bad idea. The goal is to provide easy daily instructions that will lead to a balanced vagina.
A balanced vagina is a happy vagina!
And happy vagina has a neutral smell and a lightly flavored taste. Kind of that might make you fall in love with self-pleasuring!
Whiff-test: When your Vagina is Acting all fishy
It is very important to note that infection can cause a stinky and unfavorable smelling vagina. The most common cause of a foul or fishy smelling vagina is Bacterial Vaginosis. This type of infection is usually due to variations of normal vaginal flora, or less often from a sexually transmitted disease.
There are other sexually transmitted diseases that can lead to an unpleasant odor, so make sure you visit your doctor with if any smells that seem abnormal for you. With that said most healthy vaginas would change flavors depending on your lifestyle. The top factors leading to a not-so-sweet tasting honeypot?
1. The soap you are using
2. The food you are eating
3. Your current underwear
4. Your sleeping hygiene
5. You’re over douching it
So let’s get to the bottom of this, shall we? You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to follow these next steps and be on your way to a great smelling and tasting pussy.
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A Step-by-Step Guide on How To Make Your Pussy Taste Awesome
1. Choose the Best Bar of Soap for your Beaver
What do you get when you spray perfume on rotten eggs? Rotten eggs that smell like rotten eggs wearing perfume, of course. The same theory applies to putting perfume or highly-scented soaps on your precious bits. See, vaginas have this amazing capability to clean themselves when they are balanced and healthy. Sweat and personal hygiene can disrupt the harmony of the vagina for a moment.
So, if you haven’t taken a shower, spraying perfume on it won’t do a dang thing.
It will, however, have the opposite effect (think about mixing a can of tuna with jelly-beans, um no thanks). Even if you take a shower, washing with floral soaps can cause a disruption in the PH balance of your vagina, leading to stinky bits.
Your best bet? Use an unscented soap to wash and lather up the pubis bone only. In contrary to popular belief, washing your delicate vaginal folds does not lead to a healthy smelling vagina. Dr. Ben Kim, a homeopathic doctor based out of Salt Lake City says, “Soap should not be used to clean the vaginal opening as regularly applying soap to these areas can cause the mucosal lining in these areas to become dry and unhealthy”.
So while a floral soap may be good for stinky armpits and other orifices it won’t lead to a fresh or floral smelling pussy. It is best to choose an unscented soap and wash around your vagina to keep your coochie extra clean and tasting great.
2. Use Cotton Panties for your Fanny
Thongs are hot, but full-coverage underwear is your best friend when trying to make your honey-pot taste sweet. A moist and warm environment is a haven for bacteria. The most smell provoking fabrics? Synthetic silk and laces.
I am certainly not looking to cause a fight between you and your lover so I am not suggesting that you throw away all your racy lingerie. I do advise, however, taking a break from lace and synthetic fibers if you want your vagina to taste pleasant.
The freshest fabrics for your fanny? Cotton. That’s right, classic cotton underwear will be your ally in the fight against noisom vaginal odors and tastes. Cotton panties will help the vagina stay clear of excessive moisture and allow your vagina to take a breather. Cotton panties also help prevent infections like Bacterial Vaginosis and Yeast, both of which can lead to a funky smelling vag. Unfortunately, fabrics like polyester or latex, although pretty, can trap in moisture and encourage infection.
Remember, happy fannies come from happy panties.
So choose cooter-friendly cotton, made from 100% organic cotton if you can, over synthetic materials when picking out an underwear style.
3. An Apple a Day Keeps the Smell Away: Vagina Friendly Fruits and Vegetables
You are what you eat, and so is your vagina. Well kind-of. If you want your natural juices to taste as sweet as fruit, then start incorporating more vegetables and fruits into your diet. Citrus fruits may be the best choice for a tasty vagina, as well as fruits that are high in natural sugar.
The theory is that just like coffee makes your breath smell bad, or certain foods make you flatulate, your vagina is yet another orifice that filters out food odors. Acidic fruits or vegetables high in sugar can aid in leveling out your vagina’s PH.
The best part? You will notice the difference in smell and taste in just a few hours after eating a few of these suggested fruits. Yes, it works that fast!
So what are best fruits and veggies for a fresh tasting vagina? Papaya, strawberries, raspberries, pineapples, bananas, celery, lemons, avocados, and edamame. With the more sugary fruits just remember not to overdo it. Eating a diet high in sugar can lead to a yeast infection, which will make your vagina taste more like bread than fruit salad.
Trust me, your partner prefers fruit salad.
4. What a Douchebag: Disposing of Your Douche
There is no reason to douche as it can actually disrupt the delicate flora of your vagina and increase your natural PH. This can cause infection and a dry vagina and actually make your vagina taste worse. It’s true. According to Professor Deborah Bateson, “there is no need to douche as the vagina is a natural self-cleansing entity”.
Vaginas are smart. Think of them as a self-cleansing machine that you just need to maintain.
No cleansing product, whether unscented or not, should ever enter your vaginal opening. Once again, it is fine to rinse the pubic mound and the pubic hair surrounding the vagina but think twice before inserting a foreign machine up to your tunnel of love to wash out the germs. Most of that natural bacteria are already on your side, fighting to make your pussy smell and taste just fine.
5. Let Your Poor Pussy Breathe: The Most Effective Tip for A Great Tasting Vagina
While there are many ways to make your pussy taste good, it may be as simple as letting your lips hang free for a moment or three. I already mentioned that a moist environment is a breeding ground for bacteria, so aside from choosing breathable cotton undies, I advise letting your bearded clam out once in awhile for a serious hit of fresh air.
Airing out your vagina is one of the most effective ways to making it smell and taste incredible! If you can’t fathom the idea of going commando, I suggest sleeping every night without pants or underwear on. Let your lady folds breathe all night and every night, and don’t be surprised if you wake up to some bonus nookie or a Yoni massage from your lover. Oh yeah.
Keeping your Vertical Smile So Fresh and So Clean
My hope is that these tips can give a pep in your step knowing that your little lady muff is on its way to feeling and tasting so fresh. Remember you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to master the art of making your lady pedals taste and smell great. All it takes is a few tweaks to your normal routine to get your pussy tasting exquisite.
The next time your lover goes down on you? Spread those rosebud lips with confidence and shout Bon Appétit!