Why did I choose to use the expression ‘lovemaking’ instead of ‘sex’ in this post? Because I believe in and also experience something more than just a biological process and the exchange of fluids during the lovemaking act. That’s why I talk about how to make love to a man.
What I experience is the raw realization of my true self, of losing my form, merging into the universe and realizing that my partner and I are one. Understanding my true nature, my sexual being and opening my flower for him, wanting to worship him from the bottom of my heart, loving him fully with all my senses.
The word sex does not feel shameful to me either; I just want to emphasize here the deeper meaning of sexuality, eventually transforming it into ‘loveuality’. It is a way to be able to make love to a man so that both of you will never forget it
What do Men Want?
Of course, I am a woman, and this question is better answered by a man. But I can reflect on my experience and on my research on what my partners love.
One of my big realizations is they want you! Every time I was able to be myself, without layers and masks, the more they wanted me. When you have your days where you just need a strong shoulder to lean on, give them the opportunity to be there for you. Ask them to be there for you. Never presume they should know that without telling them.
Men are happy if you are happy. They want you to be satisfied, so the more aroused you are and the more turned on you are, the more they are as well. The best blow job is when you love to give him one and become wet by just giving. Being able to express your desires, your most favorite positions, being able to know what turns you on, arouses men big time. So do your homework; discover by yourself what gives you pleasure in the first place.
Diversity! I realized after being in a long-term relationship that diversity is the key to overcoming stagnation and flatness. Make love to your lover as if it will be the last time. Do something you never did before. Change of scenery, a special aphrodisiac drink, buy new stockings and lingerie, a new toy, dress yourself up for him, anything with chocolate and bodies, dance for him, change of roles, learn new tricks, new positions to give each other pleasure. Be open-minded, creative and experimental. If you live in an open relationship, find a nice girl for a threesome. Every man dreams of a threesome. Let him go out with other girls if he wants to; go out with other men if you want to; freedom in a relationship has the effect of increasing your polarity. Your partner will eventually desire you even more. And you will him, because you don’t take him anymore for granted.
That’s an essential. If he feels worshiped during lovemaking you transform a biological, rhythmic, systematic process into an uplifting, mind-blowing ecstasy-like experience. The best way to worship him is when you are the active partner, the giver; during a blow job or a massage. How do you transform your actions into an attitude of worshiping? The mindset here plays an important role. From the truth of what is in your heart be grateful for him; love his body and his being unconditionally and fully without wanting anything in return.
Well that’s a big field, from crazy kamasutra yogic bending positions to the classic missionary position. It really depends on you, what you like, how you and your partner feel comfortable and can relax into deeper pleasure, and how sporty and experimental you are. But for sure it’s always fun to try something different, especially if you want to make it a special experience. Some men love seeing women getting crazy and powerful on the top; some men like to dominate on the top. I enjoy being dominated as well as dominating myself. If you never dominated, you definitely should try it; it is an amazing experience and you can work on your confidence at the same time. Many women don’t like to be in the spotlight and are afraid of performing wrong. You can never do anything wrong if you stay centered and honest in your lovemaking. I will write an extra blog post on beneficial lovemaking positions for women. Coming soon…