When I was 18, I experienced something I thought at the time was terrifyingly embarrassing. I was in the car with my boyfriend and decided we needed to find a secluded place to touch each other in the woods.
Having found the perfect spot, he pressed me into a tree, lifted my skirt and started fingering my cunt, something he did with diligent precision and expertise from his Maxim magazine reading. After a few minutes and a few big orgasms, we found that there was clear liquid running down my leg.
And, of course, we thought it was pee.
Our short-lived assumption, this is back before you Googled things in your car, was that I had sexual incontinence, meaning that sex made me pee. As this started happening more and more, we did a little research and found that what was coming out of my vagina when he touched me a certain way was NOT in fact urine, it was ejaculate. Female ejaculate.
Over the years, I got really good at ejaculating and even started finding partners who really, really liked female ejaculation. Some even fetishized it. I started watching “squirting” porn and would get very turned on seeing other women ejaculate as well.
And eventually, I became a Tantric practitioner who offers Yoni massage and helps women access this incredibly intimate, sensual and powerful place in themselves.
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Is Female Ejaculation Real?
While this wonderful elixir may seem like a myth if you haven’t experienced it, I assure you it’s real. I’ve seen it, felt it, tasted it, and created it. And I consider myself so very blessed to have this liquid flowing in my life. Unlike the tooth fairy, female ejaculation does indeed exist. It’s not urine, it’s not dirty, and it’s not gross.
In the Tantric tradition, female ejaculation is celebrated as the Divine ambrosia of the Feminine. And…
Any person with a Yoni can experience it.
Yes, anyone. We’ll get into that later.
For now, let’s address the still vastly unknown physiology of this mysterious phenomenon.
The Physiology of Female Ejaculation
Back to my teenage story. How did we know what I was experiencing wasn’t pee? Well, we began noticing a few key components of the mysterious liquid flowing, squirting, and dripping from my Yoni:
1. It didn’t appear to be coming from my urethra
2. There was no urine smell
3. The liquid was almost always perfectly clear, sometimes a white color, but never yellowish
4. It only happened when he stimulated my G-spot with certain movements, either with his fingers, toys, or his penis
Through my own masturbatory and partnered experimentation, research, and sexual Tantra classes, I’ve learned a lot about female ejaculation. I hope it helps enlighten you, too.
What is female ejaculation?
Female ejaculation is a liquid, often clear but not always, that is known to be produced in the Skene’s gland, also known as the female prostate. It does have some similarities to male ejaculate (see below) and can ejaculate (with force!) from a Yoni. It is often produced by a direct and intense stimulation of the G-spot or A-spot, which are inside the vagina on the anterior or front wall.
How this fluid is produced is still largely unknown.
If you look around medical journals and find sex therapists’ articles, you’ll find vastly different arguments about female ejaculation.
The fluid itself has been found to contain prostate-specific antigen (PSA) and prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP). Other substances, such as urea, antimicrobial secretions, which may help prevent UTI’s, glucose and zinc, have been found in medical research. Helen Thompson explains in New Scientist that the liquid appears, like magic, really, in the bladder during sexual stimulation, even when the women studied had just urinated before lovemaking.
The challenge of scientifically describing this phenomenon is that medical research has yet to duplicate many studies about its existence, where it comes from, or how to create it. Female bodies are so varied and there is no one-size-fits-all methodology for creating repeatable sexual sensations in most women.
However, I still believe that any woman can experience this.
And I have known women from their 40s to their 70s who ejaculated for the first time, to their own amazement.
Where does female ejaculation come from?
This article from All Things Vagina gives a pretty good explanation of the source of female ejaculation: the Skene or Skene’s gland. Although historical writings are full of nods to female ejaculation, Alexander Skene located what is now commonly known as the female prostate located just below the urethra which is just above the vaginal opening.
The glands are surrounded by tissue partially connected to the clitoris which swells with blood during sexual arousal. One of the recent speculations is that the larger these glands, the more ejaculate fluid they contain. This may be why some women, like me, have been naturally prone to ejaculate all their lives, and for others, it still remains a mystery.
How much is there?
This is one of my favorite great mysteries, and it continues to elude science. You may have heard of the words squirting or gushing to describe female ejaculation. This is because some women literally produce a quart of liquid at one time from their bodies.
When I was an adolescent, I used to use a towel when I masturbated because of how much fluid I produced. After lovemaking, my partners and I are often nearly soaked – and sometimes I have no idea it’s happening.
For other women, it may be a few drops or a little at a time. Some may be able to ejaculate multiple times in a lovemaking session, others just once with a lot of patience. One theory is that the size of the Skene’s gland may affect the amount of liquid produced, but I’ve only found a few surveys with limited participants to document this, so it may or may not be true.
What does female ejaculation smell like?
When I ask people to describe the smell and taste of female ejaculate, I usually hear the word sweet. Other adjectives include floral, delicious, natural and fresh. It may be completely odorless and tasteless, as well.
What does female ejaculation look like?
Usually, female ejaculate is between transparent and a milky white. Current studies are trying to prove that the more thick and white, the more prostate chemicals they contain.
Check out some of the myths Mariah busts in this video!
Female ejaculation during pregnancy
There is no research to suggest that female ejaculation helps or harms in pregnancy. This article on the fertility website Invitra debunks a lot of myths, including the old wives tale that women need to ejaculate to get pregnant. It seems to have no correlation whatsoever. Female ejaculate also does not start or stop with menopause and is not affected by a hysterectomy or ovarian issues.
What Causes Female Ejaculation
The female ejaculation mechanism
As we now know, the Skene’s gland or female prostate produces the female ejaculate liquid. One commonly accepted theory is that stimulation inside the Yoni on the front or anterior wall brings blood flow into the gland and engorges with blood. Simultaneously, a liquid appears – totally out of thin air – in the bladder, then is ejaculated from the Skene’s gland which is next to the urethra.
This explains why for most women just before ejaculation there is a sensation of needing to pee.
This is also why it is confused with urination because the sensation often is exactly the same as holding back the urge to urinate.
The G-spot and female ejaculation
The G-spot, named after the German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg in the 1950’s, is known to be the place where the swelling and ejaculation originate from. It is located just inside the Yoni 2cm along the front wall. Clitoral tissues are also connected to this spot and contribute to some of the pleasure derived from direct stimulation.
Have you ever heard of the A-spot?
There is also another spot behind the G-spot which is called the A-spot, the deepest spot inside the front vaginal wall near the cervix. Also known as the AFE (Anterior Fornix Erogenous) zone, this region is known to produce rapid lubrication, sometimes in large amounts.
Therefore, squirting or gushing often comes from this place inside the vagina, as I mentioned with my earlier story of my teenage adventure in the woods. Here is an article with more information on the A-spot if you’re interested.
Is female ejaculation healthy?
Yes! Science is saying that the trace amounts of antimicrobials may result in less urinary tract infections for women who ejaculate. The amount of loving touch, though, needed is quite a bit to arouse someone or yourself to the point of ejaculation.
It takes time, attention, affection, and listening deeply to the body.
I consider this devotion of loving time to oneself or a partner the sign of a very healthy relationship.
Female Ejaculation and Orgasm
What it feels like
Female ejaculation is not necessarily orgasm. Some women experience orgasm and ejaculation simultaneously. Some don’t. I’ve experienced both and have heard similar stories from other vagina-carrying people.
There have been times when I ejaculate but don’t necessarily orgasm, or have a smaller orgasm, and many times I orgasm without ejaculation. They actually have nothing to do with one another, but they can go together and create deep sensations.
One of the intentions of Tantra is to allow women to let go of sexual trauma and to start having physically, emotionally and energetically deeper orgasms. Stimulating deeper points in the body like the G-spot and A-spot can help to arouse these deeper orgasms – slowly.
For some women, it can take up to an hour to have non-clitoral orgasms.
It takes patience for yourself or your partner and is well worth the effort. These are the kinds of orgasms that can lead to the complete stopping of the mind for more than a few seconds, to the release of old sexual traumas and long-held wounds, and to deep healing on other levels.
The Tantric Tradition: Kalas
Throughout the years, many tantric teachings have documented the beauty and divine expression of female sexual energy. The Sanskrit word for female ejaculate is Kalas and it means Divine nectar or ambrosia. If you’re interested in knowing more, talk with a Tantra teacher.
In short, this nectar which is also called Ambrosia is revered for its mystical properties and virile components. It is a practice of worship to bring a Yoni to express her Kalas and it is a boon (gift) if you are the recipient of this liquid. Savor every drop.
Female and Male Ejaculation
Let’s take a quick look at the similarities and differences between male and female ejaculation.
1. Optional orgasms
As mentioned, ejaculation for women isn’t always accompanied by orgasm. This may be a new concept to you, but male ejaculation doesn’t always mean orgasm either.
The physical mechanisms for producing ejaculate and the physical, energetic, emotional, mental and spiritual experiences of orgasm are different. They can certainly go together, but they are not the same.
Ejaculation for men and women is usually a pleasurable experience. But it’s not the most important part of lovemaking for any gender.
The pleasure component, in fact, can be a double-edged sword.
I spent years trying to ejaculate every time I had a sexual encounter. Besides having to wash my sheets a lot, I eventually I realized I was becoming somewhat addicted to the sensation of ejaculation.
I chose to let it go for a while, so I could come back to it with renewed curiosity and mystery as opposed to pressuring myself to perform. I know a lot of men who have had similar realizations with ejaculation as well, and practicing sexual Tantra can often help shift this paradigm.
1. Reproductive function
Male ejaculation is physiologically about reproduction. The semen released in male ejaculate can make babies. While most men don’t ejaculate for reproduction most of the time, that is its biological purpose.
Female ejaculation has not been linked to any reproductive function. Many speculations have been made in traditions around the world about deeper orgasms drawing sperm into the uterus more effectively and female ejaculation leading to deeper orgasms. However, women have also conceived throughout the centuries just fine without ejaculating.
2. Sexual energy usage
Sexual Taoist and Tantric practices have a lot to say about energy usage when it comes to female and male ejaculation. Male ejaculation LOSES energy and lots of it.
The training manuals by Mantak Chia or other energy teachers strictly talk about how ejaculation is very draining on the whole body and that men can learn to have multiple energetic and physical orgasms without ejaculation.
For women, however, that is just not the case. Producing ejaculate is a mystical Divine liquid and takes nothing from the energy system. On the contrary, these kinds of orgasms are naturally subliming, meaning they bring the energy up higher and can have natural healing effects.
It is even said to bless the one who touches or ingests it with very potent, virile energy. Many women actually drink their ejaculate or share it with their lovers.
3. Consistency & flavor
Male and female ejaculate are very different physically. Female ejaculation is usually clear, odorless and doesn’t have a significant flavor. Male ejaculate can be heavily influenced by what a person puts in their body.
If you’ve ingested the semen of a smoker or heavy drinker, you may have experienced the bitter, sour taste of an unhealthy body. If your lover is rather healthy, vegetarian, and takes care of their body, then perhaps his semen is on the sweeter, fresher side.
Of course, it does vary from person to person. But I have found them to be quite different for men and women.
Female Ejaculation: A How-To Guide
Now comes the fun part: How to do it!
I have the belief that all Yonis can ejaculate…but it does take a lot of trust, time, and listening to the body. This is why many women experience their first ejaculation either with a partner who knows how or in a practitioner session like a Yoni Massage.
Here is your tutorial on how to bring a Yoni – yours or your lover’s – to ejaculation. While some women do ejaculate during intercourse (more below), this tutorial focuses on using fingers. There are waterproof sheets and pads you can buy if you’re worried about soaking the bed. Or you can use a few towels or play on the kitchen floor.
Take your time and makes sure she’s relaxed. Start with touching and caressing the whole body, then move on to oral sex and finally manual touching. But really, takes LOTS of time, a minimum of 30 minutes.
2. Start with touching at the entrance of the Yoni
Just where it opens at the top, closest to the clitoris*. Move the fingers from outside to inside, tracing the opening for at least a few minutes, perhaps longer.
This can help to relax the Yoni and build trust in the partner for this lovemaking session. Massaging the outer and inner lips is also very pleasurable and can bring the Yoni into a more relaxed and open or receptive state, which is very important.
3. After some time, slowly find the G-spot
It is located inside the Yoni on the front wall about 2 centimeters in. After warming it up with different kinds of sensual touch, try a come-hither motion with 1-2 fingers. If you know your partner, you’ll know if she prefers 1 finger or 2; usually, some warm-up is helpful before moving to 2. This is all about personal preference and check-in to see what she’s feeling.
After a few minutes, you’ll start to feel swelling on the g-spot tissue and the surface becoming more ribbed and defined. Keep going with the same motion. Don’t get creative and try to move around. This come-hither motion of curling the fingers inward toward the bladder, again and again, is the motion that creates G-spot ejaculation.
If she says she has to pee, remind her to relax and keep going.
She may ejaculate here with the G-spot stimulation. This same repetitive motion can take 10-30 minutes – of just that! Again, don’t be in a hurry. Or you can move on to A-spot stimulation.
4. Now it’s time for A-spot stimulation
Continue a little deeper inside the Yoni to just before you reach the back wall. You’ll be in directly in front of the cervix which feels like a hard finger coming down from the top of the Yoni.
Here you’ll want to use 2 fingers, and the middle and ring fingers are recommended and a more intense movement. Instead of curling the fingers in a come-hither motion, this time we keep the fingers locked together, slightly bent and move the whole hand/arm back and forth, moving just ½ inch to 1 inch inside.
To clarify, the fingers stay on the A-spot the whole time and move back and forth towards the front and back. Keep going.
5. Keep going
When you find the motion that starts to arouse her, don’t change. Repetition of the same movement is key here. Often what I experience from partners trying to bring me to ejaculation for their first time is that they try to get creative or maybe they get bored and stop doing the motion.
Don’t get creative, be repetitive. If she’s not responding, try a variation. Look for a different spot. Get her input and ask her to be vocal so you can respond to her sounds. It takes two here, so if you’re the receiver, let your partner know what you need!
6. Don’t forget about the rest of the body
At first, you may need to focus just on this motion to practice. But touching, rubbing and caressing the rest of the body is very important. Rub down her legs, play with her feet, caress up from her pubic bone to her heart and rest your hand on her heart. Caress her cheeks (if you can reach). Rub from her heart down her arms.
The big one, though, is if you apply some pressure just above the Yoni outside the body, this can help with the ejaculation. Rest the hand that’s not inside her here and apply a little pressure. This may bring on the sensation of having to pee more, it’s okay. But if she doesn’t like it, of course, don’t do it.
7. The Yoni needs to stay relaxed
Some people make the mistake of pushing or squeezing when they start to get close. Both for orgasm and ejaculation, the Yoni needs to stay very relaxed. There may be a slight pushing right when the ejaculation starts, but otherwise stay completely relaxed and receptive.
8. When she starts to ejaculate, take your fingers out
The Yoni gets to take over at this point and she may need some space, especially if she’s producing liquid from deeper inside. You can go again and again if she’s up for it, immediately following the ejaculation or squirting.
She may start to develop a deep glow or radiance on her face and in her body and not be able to speak or respond in words. This is a good sign. Do give her a break from time to time, but if you’re both up for it, you can go in many rounds.
9. When she feels complete, this may be the end of lovemaking
Or she may want to continue with penetrative sex or another form of lovemaking. There are good positions for ejaculation during lovemaking (see below), but for many people, these manual techniques are the most effective for ejaculation.
A note on using toys: If you’re making love with yourself or want to use toys with a partner, there are some great dildos that reach the G-spot and A-spot. Exercise the same patience and repetitive movement if you’re going for ejaculation. Also, it’s great to just play until you find a sensation that starts to feel like swelling up.
Yours may be different. You may also want to avoid vibrators or intense clitoral stimulation as they can overwhelm the senses and then it is hard to notice the deeper internal sensations. For some Yonis, it takes months of practice inside the Yoni before these feelings of arousal start to occur. Be patient with yourself and patient with your partners.
Special note: What do you do with the clitoris? There are vastly different schools of thought on how to involve the clitoris if you’re going for deeper orgasms. While there is nothing wrong with clitoral touch, it can be very limiting if this is the way you are used to having orgasms.
Compared to G-spot and A-spot orgasms, they are quite superficial and actually drain energy the way male ejaculatory orgasms do. It can be helpful to avoid the clitoris or just touch it sparingly when attempting ejaculatory orgasms. The big piece is that after a clitoral orgasm, the Yoni typically needs time to recover which means that length of 30-60 minutes just isn’t available to lead up to the G-spot orgasm.
When I first started ejaculating regularly, I liked light clitoral, inner vaginal and anal stimulation simultaneously and it was the quickest way to get me to squirt. Many years later and after studying and practicing sexual Tantra, I usually just like stimulation directly on the G-spot or A-spot.
1. Stay relaxed
The Yoni must be relaxed to ejaculate. If you notice your partner squeezing her vaginal muscles, holding her breath, or trying to push her ejaculation out, remind her to relax and take some deep breaths. You can help her by breathing deeply with her to remind her to breathe.
2. If you feel you have to pee, keep going
This is where many women falter, they are afraid they will pee. You won’t. There is a mechanism that stops the bladder when the ejaculate begins to appear. Trust me. Keep going.
3. Get comfortable
As the partner, if doing manual stimulation, make sure you’re in a comfortable position so that your arm or hand doesn’t start to cramp (it’s been known to happen!)
4. Try different positions
For some, doing this manual stimulation with her on her hands and knees is particularly helpful. The downward curve of the Yoni helps gravity move the liquid down and out. For others, on her back with a pillow under her pelvis is best. Play around and try different positions.
Ejaculation Friendly Sex Positions
If you’ve mastered ejaculation from yourself or your partner’s loving touch, it might be time to try penetration. Again, here the reference is to a Yoni and Lingam, regardless of gender, and whether or not that lingam is a body, strap-on, or energetic penetration. As I mentioned above, some space to ejaculate can be helpful. If you notice your partner starting to squirt, see if pulling out helps to facilitate the release of liquid. Then go right back in and continue.
There are some great positions to produce female ejaculation.
1. Woman on top – facing forward and leaning slightly back – direct G-spot or A-spot stimulation, she can control the depth
2. From behind on the knees or standing – the angle of the Yoni here facilitates the release of ejaculate
3. Woman lying on her back, man sitting up on top – direct stimulation of G-spot or A-spot and can find the perfect angle
Like in my story, I had to do a lot of personal exploration, both alone and with partners, to understand the mechanisms of my body. When I work with women who ejaculate for the first time, I recommend they go home and practice – a lot.
Use a mirror, check out what’s happening. Try to see the inner swelling of the G-spot and where the Divine nectar is flowing from. Taste it! Smell it!
Fall in Love with this new experience of loving yourself.
And if you’re giving this gift to a partner, let yourself be in awe of this Divine expression of her sex.
But most of all, have fun!