In this podcast I am talking about a very private topic: masturbation.
But not the usual, quick-finishing-off-masturbation, I am talking here about conscious masturbation. This is something I found out about during my years of studying Tantra and Tao.
When I started becoming more and more aware of my sexuality, I became aware of the power of self-pleasuring. It’s the nourishing magic of self-love which is very healing to our body and soul.
Attention: This is for everyone who masturbates and for everyone who doesn’t, because there is lots we can learn from ourselves and understand, to discover what we truly desire. (Spoiler: No goal involved!)
PS – I suggest you also check out our guide on how to pleasure yourself.
In this episode, I go into detail about:
- What’s the difference between normal masturbation and conscious masturbation?
- What has Karezza to do with conscious masturbation?
- What can conscious masturbation look like?
- What can you do to benefit from your masturbation practice?
- Some extra tips on how the Kamasutra of Self-love can help you with all this.
Links and resources mentioned:
- The Karezza Method, or Magnetation: The Art of Connubial Love by John William Lloyd
- Non-toxic organic dildos
- Death grip post
- Orgasmic Evolution Sessions (for women)
- Confident Lover Sessions (for men)
Welcome to this podcast episode. Today is a unique episode, because I am talking to you in private. The last podcast epsiodes, where filled with other people. But today I feel like I want to share some of my thoughts.
So I’ll get right to it.
Listen, this post is meant for everybody who masturbates. Yes, even to all those who don’t! I think it’s time to embark our so awe-inspiring journey of exploring our body! Conscious Masturbation as I call it, is not only about a quick rub off after work to release, but an opportunity to connect with yourself – deeply, and with the world around you
Most people associate masturbation with the idea of having a genital orgasm.
Well, conscious masturbation is different. It’s a non-goal oriented masturbation. Yep, you got me right, no goal and yes, maybe no orgasm as you know it. But wait… what’s the point then?
Don’t get me wrong, genital orgasms are a beautiful thing. And I am writing so much about them.But the deeper lying purpose of making love to yourselves is a very profound aspect – self-love. Establishing this deep connection to our body and soul. If there would be a goal, then it would be building the yummy connection to yourself and first of all loving yourself!
Maybe you’ve heard of the term Karezza?! It’s a sexual practice where the man is not attempting to ejaculate during sex. It’s a non-goal oriented practice too and famous in Tantra and Taosim.
Both partners express affection in both words and action but without having a goal. This leads to a beautiful mental and physical relaxation. Both partners get more time to express their desires and needs. There is no pressure and enough space for real deep union.
You can read more of this practice in the book: The Karezza Method, or Magnetation: The Art of Connubial Love by John William Lloyd
Why am I talking about this? Because when we masturbate without a goal, it has the same effect as in Karezza. It relaxes our genitals, quiets, satisfies, and demagnetize as perfectly as by the “normal” orgasm.
What’s the magic, it leaves you in a glowing wonderful conscious joy with no depletion or emotional guilt. It takes you from where you at to a sublimed state of awe.
What can conscious masturbation look like? What can you do to benefit from your masturbation? Because I always want to give you some tools you can work with:
More Time and space: Firstly take time for it. Enough time for you to feel what’s needed. And choose a sexy space where you feel like a God or Goddess instead of in front of the computer.
Meditation: Have a little meditation before or afterwards, where you feel into your being. This is not only great for your self-awareness but also great for your sensitivity. You will feel much more by witnessing yourself.
Childlike Curiosity: While fantasy, erotic movies, or erotic fiction can be wonderful ways to arouse ourselves towards orgasm, for this session set aside these external brain stimulators because these self-pleasuring sessions are about deepening on your connection with your body. One way to approach yourself with childlike curiosity is to do your self-pleasuring in front of a mirror. You can start by standing up and looking at your body, if you have some sensual music playing, you can move your body in ways that feel arousing or arouse you visually. You can try on different kinds of clothes that make you feel sexy or sensual.
Self-love:Tell yourself how beautiful and sexy you are, how wonderful it is to have a body and how much pleasure you want to give yourself.
Slow down: Take it slowly and step by step. Approach yourself with a child-like curiosity. The slower you go and the more aware of each sensation you are, the more you gain from it. It doesn’t mean a strong, satisfied sense of moving isn’t allowed, it’s more about the whole mindset.
Whole body: Incorporate your own whole beautiful body. There are so many erogenous zones, why not use them? Massage yourself with some coconut oil for a more sensual flow. Women, give yourself a yummy breast massage, it not only makes your boobs more yummy but also produces lots of love-hormones.
Use your senses: Humans are highly visual, taking off our visual sense with a blind fold increases our other senses, which can be very rewarding also during masturbation. Here are some other ideas to enhance your sensual experience:
- Look into the flame of a candle, while touching yourself and imagine the energy from the flame entering your body.
- Stimulate your ears with erotic sensual music or say arousing things that a lover would say to you.
- Important: Make noises when you breathe such as sighs or moans.
- And don’t forget to touch yourself. EVERYWHERE. First touch all your extremities, stroke your hair. Approach your body by touching all of the extremities first – stroke your hair and run your fingers through it, rub your feet, tickle them with a feather, tickle the palm of one hand with your finger tips, touch your cheeks, your face, and your neck.
- Try using feathers or different textures on the back of your neck and your back.
- Use your fingernails or a back scratcher on your arms and the backs of your legs.
- Tease the inside of your thighs with a silky cloth.
- Rub an ice cube down your stomach and across your nipples or let icy water drip off of the ice cube onto your vulva or penis.
- Stimulate the inside or outside of your anus with a toy or your fingers (Safety tip: make sure that nothing that goes on or in your anus, goes on or in your vagina afterwards).
- Kiss your hands or arms.
- Pull the hair on your head or on your genitals.
- Try different kinds of touch including tickling, tapping, stroking, pinching, massaging, slapping and squeezing.
Breath the orgasmic energy in: Once you discover this you have a power tool in your hands. There are people in this world who can simply get an orgasm by breathing in a certain rhythm or pattern. Try to breath slowly and deeply for relaxing. Breath faster for arousing and heating up. Play with this.
Move it, baby. Move your body in the rhythm you are in right now at this very moment. Move your hips! By moving rhythmically we connect to a deeper subconscious force in us.
Try the Kamasutra of Self-love. Why masturbate lying on your back? Or sitting in front of the computer screen?
This is different for people with a penis and people with vulvas:
Lying on your belly – for a more protective sensation.
Doggy style – opens the heart and feels safe at the same time.
Cow girl position: great for having cervical orgasm, great for using affirmations. Fold a pillow, squeeze your dildo in between the fold, sit on it and ride your toy. (Note: Move your hips forwards and backwards, instead of up and down)
I recommend you get one of the organic dildos, for a non-toxic experience.
Standing – Very active and powerful position.
Kneeling – Still active but a little more down to earth.
Move it like you are having sex: I can highly recommend getting a flashlite. It trains your stamina and sensitivity and for sure avoids the well known “death grip”.
I strongly encourage you to be creative with this, break your patterns also if it’s sometimes not the most comfortable and something that might feel strange in the beginning enfold into something very beautiful.
Was this information helpful? If you want to go deeper with this, I am offering at the moment Orgasmic Evolution sessions via skype for women (and very soon for men too). I will teach you the Kamasutra of self-love and other helpful practices to boost you orgasmic life.
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