How to Deal with Different Sexual Libido Levels in a Relationship?

deal with different sexual libido levels in a relationship
Written by Mariah Freya

Are you always horny? Could do it all the time? But your partner needs lots of motivation to take off their clothes. You almost need to drag him/her out of their sexual laziness. If you didn’t always make the first step, no one would, for weeks on end. And they hardly notice any difference. Yes, all signs point to the fact that your partner has a low libido and you are running around with a hard penis or clit 24/7 trying to find a way to release.

I used to be on the low libido side, and my partner instead fits perfectly into the 24/7 type category. We sometimes had situations where our sex life would fuck that badly that he had to stand up and point it out to me so that I’d get my motivation back to work on it.

In the following list, I tell you how we deal with different sexual libido levels in our relationship.

I, as a low libido type

Work on my libido proactively through:

  • Eating a nurturing libido boosting diet. Such as superfoods and other famous foods that boost your sexual desires.
  • Simply living healthy.
  • Doing lots of Sports. It’s the number one libido booster, yoga even has some asanas that help you load up your sexual center.
  • Working on my Kegels. They not only tone your sexy parts but also bring awareness to your pussy (Note: also incorporate some squats, and core exercises to have a balanced muscle training).
  • Have more sex. As simple as that, with more regular sex more desire comes naturally (if you don’t lose your sexual energies).
  • Try to follow tantric practices. Which means not losing my sexual energies too often through clitoral orgasm. But instead have more G-spot and Cervical orgasms. As a man simply don’t ejaculate for a while or keep it to a minimum, this naturally brings back the fire and pressure you need.
  • Try to receive a Yoni massage on a regular basis (Guys, have a lingam massage, this boosts too!).
  • Am open to satisfying my partner –  worship my partner with a blowjob or with a handjob (even if I don’t feel like it at the start, but normally get hot once I overcome my barriers), because I am fulfilled when he is fulfilled too.
  • Am open if my partner asks for having a sex buddy. But this is something personal, not everybody is ready for open relationships.
  • Accept where you are right now. We are all different and we cannot turn into another person. So start where you are at; it’s ok to have dry phases, but be willing and open for change.
  • Do my Libido School exercises.

As a high libido type

  • Have lots of compassion towards your partner.
  • Understand, high libido is from a tantric standpoint something really great – you just gotta know how to use it.
  • Support your partner in working on their libido (be patient, don’t apply pressure but be willing to help out through making them a boosting shake after a long day of work or giving them a regular unconditional yoni/lingam massage. If your partner’s a male, then this article might help for increasing his libido too.
  • Masturbate (that was hard to figure out right?!)
  • Minimize your explosive orgasms (clitoral orgasms or ejaculation). This will make you even hotter, but give a great potential for the next point.
  • Channel the sexual energies in other parts in your life. Use all this amazing sexual energy for changing the world. Be a part of a sports competition, reach your business/ career goals, help others, travel, fulfill your dreams, have a practice. Why let this energy stagnate if you could totally use it for your success?

Was this helpful? Let me know about your personal challenges in your relationship. How do you deal with different libido levels in a relationship?

About the author

Mariah Freya

Mariah Freya is a sex & orgasm coach, urban goddess and founder of She opens up the topic of sexuality in all its diversity through her videos, articles and online courses. Mariah has a powerful global mission: Liberating sexuality from below the belly button up, and helping the individual grow through pleasure into fulfilment.

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