If you find yourself crying during sex, it could be because you actually love sex, or there’s a deeper, underlying reason why you are shedding some tears.
So, why do women cry during sex? We’ve put together seven of the most common reasons behind why sex sometimes leads to tears and what you can do to stop them (if you want!)
#1 You Actually Just Really Love Sex
Not all tears during sex are sad tears.
You might be crying because you just love having sex with your partner and you are simply overcome with passion. Having sex that creates such a strong trigger in your body is a basic human instinct, a primal reaction!
If you are crying because you are having passionate sex – realize that this is your body telling you that you are being satisfied not only physically, but also on a mental and emotional level as well. Talk about ticking all the boxes.
#2 You Are Super Stressed!
If you are still asking yourself why do girls cry during sex, a big reason is actually that of stress.
Just think, do you ever feel so stressed that any little annoying situation pushes you over the edge? Or someone just saying the wrong thing make you burst into tears because you are feeling overwhelmed?
Now, imagine you are feeling like that and you are adding sex on top. That’s creating a recipe for an emotional overload. We all know that sex isn’t just physical – it can trigger an emotional release in your body and if you are already on the edge from stress, this could be a reason for your tears or sometimes even the opposite – numbness.
#3 You Are Actually in Pain
This might be an obvious one, but crying during sex can sometimes be a response to physical pain. There are actually a lot of conditions that can cause pain during sex, such as dyspareunia, vulvodynia, and vaginismus, which cause pain in the vulva and vaginal canals.
If you are in physical pain, having sex can also trigger feelings like frustration as you may be confused and overwhelmed because your body isn’t reacting how you want it to during sex. The first thing to do if this is the reason behind your tears – talk to your partner.
Let them know what you are feeling and work it out together.
You’ll probably find your partner is feeling as confused as you are and will be wanting to try their best to not only understand your feelings behind crying during sex but help you get through it.
As well as talking to your partner, seeing a gynecologist is also a savvy move if you are feeling physical pain during sex as it could be caused by a condition we’ve mentioned above. Also, feel free to check our 6 tips on how to turn your pain into pleasure.
#4 Your Emotions Are Erratic
Are you feeling a bit erratic emotionally right now, or keeping a load of things bottled up inside?
A bit like feeling stressed, erratic emotions can be released from an orgasm.
See, when we orgasm, our bodies trigger a release of a powerful hormone through our body called oxytocin, and when this floodgate opens, so will your emotions you’ve been so desperately trying to hold in.
If you are feeling a bit overwhelmed in your daily life right now, letting these emotions go during sex might actually help you. You’ll be able to share your feelings with your partner about what’s been going on with you. Chances are they’ve been wanting to know the score anyway.
#5 You Remember Something from Your Past
If you’ve had a bad experience with sex in the past, sometimes having sex can trigger these memories and emotions – even if you have a new, completely supportive, trusting and awesome partner.
If a previous partner has abused you, forced you to go outside of your comfort zone in the bedroom (physically or emotionally) overpowered you in your past, these can all be triggers of why you are crying during sex.
Even if there isn’t an obvious memory, your mind might have repressed something that is causing the outburst.
#6 You Get the Post-sex Blues
Yep – there’s actually a condition for feeling down after sex. Its technical name is Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD), and its main symptom is feeling sadness after sex that can’t be explained.
PCD may make you feel not only sad and teary but also anxious and even angry.
As there are no rock hard facts behind the cause of PCD, a lot of researchers speculate that it is actually the rush of hormones after sex that causes an emotional release. Researchers believe because you actually break the physical connection with your partner after sex, breaking this connection may well be the trigger to feeling the symptoms of PCD.
PCD is actually quite common, so don’t worry – you aren’t alone in feeling this way! One recent study found 32.9 percent of women had experienced PCD in their life.
#7 You Are Scared
Crying during sex can sometimes be triggered by feeling fear. You could be feeling fear from trying out new things in the bedroom, such as roleplaying, anal sex or sex games. Fear could also be triggered by feeling nervous or eager to please your partner in the bedroom.
If feeling fear is triggering your tears, it is super important to be honest with your partner about what you are feeling afraid of and to let them know it is making you uncomfortable enough to cry. Roleplaying and unfamiliar sex can be exciting – but you both need to be comfortable.
What Can You Do to Manage Your Emotions in the Bedroom?
Firstly, having strong feelings during sex isn’t a bad thing! It can help to build a deeper, more powerful connection with your partner by showing your raw emotions and letting your guard down to being your true self.
If you’ve got a bit of an emotional wall up or you are getting scared during sex, talking to your partner will help you understand each other not only in the bedroom but in your daily lives. If you think you’re too shy for an honest talk about sex with your partner then this might help out.
Being able to harness these emotions and welcome them will let you explore them and come to terms with them, and then you can release them when you are ready.
Practice Your Breathing and Get Your Partner Involved
To help you harness these feelings in the bedroom and stop yourself from feeling overwhelmed, you can try controlling your breathing to help yourself relax. By controlling your breathing, it can help you get out of your own head and help you connect with your body and be more in touch with your sensations.
What you will actually find is you will become more aware and conscious of what is happening in the bedroom, and feel a deeper connection in the process. To make it more intimate, you and your partner can even try synchronizing your breathing. Take deep breaths all the way through your stomach, right down to your pelvic floor and breathe out slowly.
Feeling relaxed is the ultimate goal here.
You will both be rewarded with a more powerful sexual experience while also controlling your feelings and emotions at the same time.
Give Yourself a Break
So, if you’ve connected with one of the reasons women cry during sex (or even more than one), before immediately panicking and rushing to heal yourself – give yourself a break!
Whether you are stressed, overwhelmed or your emotions are just a bit out of whack, a lot of the reasons why girls cry during sex are largely down to hormones and just a natural, emotional reaction to the power of sex. The positive side to the tears is the opportunity you have to break down some emotional barriers you might have up, and possibly even connect with your partner on a whole new, deeper level.
However – if you think you are crying during sex due to physical pain or maybe some memories your mind has repressed, we do recommend seeking some help so you can continue on your love journey without the struggle!