5 Best Ways to Watch Porn and Still Improve Your Sex Life

Jeremiah Barnes
Written by Jeremiah Barnes

I know you’re doing it: Watching porn. The data is not to be argued with. Pornography is responsible for a huge chunk of all internet traffic. And let’s face it, you, as well as myself, have contributed to it. And that’s ok. I still contribute to it, and I have no intention of moralizing to you about that. Here’s the but: But I think that we should use the time that we spend watching porn anyhow in a beneficial manner. Yes, that’s possible, and yes, that’s also fun. And most important: Yes, it can be indeed very rewarding to know the best ways to watch porn.

Gender disclaimer: I’m a man, with male sexual organs. And this article will be focused on the rather male habits of porn. Not saying that there aren’t any women out there who might need a similar input – but I personally am not able to provide those insights. With that in mind: Feel free to read on no matter how you’d identify yourself – I hope you get something out of this.

You might also be interested in:

Tantric Ejaculation Control: Learn to Cum When *You* Want To
4 Reasons Male Orgasm Is Not That Simple
What’s The Best Way to Eat Pussy? 10 Tips to Give Oral Mindfully

So let’s look at 5 best ways to watch porn when you want to make it a conscious practice. Including benefits.

1. Don’t rape yourself – make love to yourself

We have to admit it… While masturbation is generally an act of pleasure and joy, it can tend to be slightly rapey in practice. What I mean by that is reducing the act to its bare necessities: Opening the zipper, and going full speed until it’s finally over. That certainly is not something we want to induce into our subconscious mind as „joy“.

What about some loving preparation? A bubble bath? What about taking time? What about caressing and touching the whole body? What about an atmosphere of safe self-discovery?

We often tend to be still in our youth, afraid that someone could open the door at any time, and we have to get over it over with as rapidly as possible.

Especially as men tend to have a frequent masturbation habit, including porn, we need to tell our subconscious mind what pleasure and joy really are. As often as possible. Because otherwise, we will, subconsciously, prefer sitting 3 and a half minutes on the desk chair with open zippers, instead of making love to our partner the whole night.

2. Simulate the real thing

This goes closely with the previous point, that we tend to distinguish masturbation from making love in many aspects. There’s one important point left, apart from the already mentioned atmosphere and mindset when approaching it: posture and movement.

We tend to be paralyzed in our body, except for the starring hand. And that’s not really beneficial. Our body needs to move, our hips are made for pounding. This is a closer simulation of the real thing, training us for the real challenge.

You will notice that your energies move very differently as soon as your entire body is moving. According to Tantra, when your hips are moving, your sexual energy has the tendency to get unstuck. And it’s very very beneficial learning to handle this. Because as you might have noticed: Intense pleasure ups can happen during real intercourse. When moving your body like in real intercourse, similar things happen during your solo play.

3. Avoid the death grip at all costs

Many men suffer from death grip related issues. „Death grip“ describes the phenomenon that you experience when masturbating too hard too often. Hard in terms of the grip. The negative results are that your body gets used to this hard grip, and starts requiring it for stimulation. This can go as far as not being able to orgasm from vaginal and oral stimulation. Not what we want!

death grip

Unfortunately, the death grip is all over porn. Noticed how rarely porn stars ejaculate after being stimulated by their partners? Almost never. Ejaculation triggered by the woman is almost a niche thing you have to look for. So first of all – we shouldn’t be inspired by that too much. Sure, a facial can be fun. But so can shooting your semen into her vagina. Keep the balance there, and be aware of how your masturbation practice influences your cumability (that word’s on me!).

And most important: Don’t grip your sensitivity to death. Practice with a light grip. Use lube or a massage oil. Or best of all: don’t use your hand at all, but a sex toy like a Fleshlight. At least occasionally. Fleshlights are great, and I think it’s about time that men overcame their sex toy shame. It’s ok for women to have a vibrator – but fucking a rubber pussy? TOO MASCULINE FOR THAT. I call it BS. Especially if the toy usage is intended to make us better lovers. Instead of sticking with only the rubber thing for the rest of our life.

4. Edge, edge, edge

Self-practice has the benefit that you are in total control. Utilize that!

Edging describes the practice of bringing yourself very close to the point of no return (PONR), but not over it. Wait – point of no return? That’s the point from where on you’re on autopilot. From where on you can’t control your ejaculation anymore. I’m certain you know exactly how that feels.

Ok, so build up to that point. Almost going there. But not reaching it. Then cool yourself down slightly, take your hands (or toy) away. Breathe a bit, move a bit, whatever brings you down on the pleasure scale. The good news is: you are allowed and supposed to go up again!

You can do this as often as you want. Hours if you have the time. And it’s actually really beneficial for a couple of reasons.

First of all, you definitely become more conscious of the PONR and know how to handle it, when to stop, etc. All skills that you can use during lovemaking with your partner.

Second, you will notice that this is incredible fun. The time that you spend on highly aroused pleasure levels is much longer than if you finished the first time. It can become even a bit addictive because there is definitely a lot of hormone production going on in those high levels of arousals.

Last but not least: You will learn to control not only the PONR, but your sexual energy in general. As you’re cooling down and heating up all the time, you will be able to do the same with your partner. You’re very likely to find out some tricks that work for you, for cooling down a bit. A certain type of breathing for example.

You can become the master of your arousal. Which would be a great takeaway from watching porn, wouldn’t it?

5. Don’t drain yourself

Last but not least, we have to talk about ejaculation frequency. You are probably very aware of the fact that if you don’t ejaculate for a week, every sensation down there is like magic. Try it. Don’t ejaculate for a week (yes, 7 days) and then make love to your partner. Wow, entering a vagina in that state is pure magic. Tingling sensations not only on your penile gland but across the whole body. At least that’s how it is for me…

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So that brings us to the largest problem with normal porn habits. Many men masturbate and ejaculate daily or every other day. Which has the tendency to drain away your sexual energy. At least that’s what the Tantrics and Taoists call it. But what you call it doesn’t matter – more important: you feel it! Compare having sex an hour after an ejaculation, to having sex 7 days after your last ejaculation. Not only will your body tingle differently, your partner will also notice a huge difference in the quality of your presence and… horniness.

And that horniness is great for every relationship.

So what do I want to say with this? Yep, you guessed it: don’t ejaculate prematurely and too often. Watch porn, make love to yourself, try watching feminist porn, edge, but don’t necessarily ejaculate every time. Hold it a bit. Maybe make love to your partner later that day, and give her all your desire, horniness, and maybe sperm. She will appreciate a partner that urges to penetrate her, rather having a drained, death-grip zombie.

So porn as a personal development tool? Really?

I say: Why not? We’re all doing it anyhow. It’s fun. There’s a somewhat natural drive for doing it. So why not utilize these best ways to watch porn? None of the above points are made up or very far fetched. They’re all tangible, rational, and result oriented.

My invitation to you is: Give it a try. Maybe not every time, but at least sometimes.

Life is full of possibilities for growing!


 

About the author

Jeremiah Barnes

Jeremiah Barnes

Jeremiah Barnes is a tantra practitioner and soulful entrepreneur, who loves to share his knowledge.